Something clattered outside the kitchen, in the hallways. "Ow," floated out from the vicinity of the clattering. A minute or so later, the noise repeated itself. "Ow! Oh. Ah…" The six team members looked up from their breakfast. Nosedive’s doubletake almost caused him to spit out his Frosted Flakes (or a reasonable local facsimile thereof, anyway) "Um, Tanya, you forgot your glasses," Wildwing said gently.

"Did not," she replied. "Dreva helped me make a set of contacts last night. I don’t know why I, uh, didn’t think of it before."

"’Cause it ain’t workin’?" Duke inquired. "For real, Tani, ya look a wreck, and I don’t think it’s just the mornin’."

She winced in answer. "Ah, yeah, I sort of walked into a wall. A couple of walls. A few times. Is there any coffee left? That might help, y’know."

Mallory went in for the coffeepot and Tanya’s blue and purple striped mug of preference. She set them on the table, then brought out her toast, only to find Tanya sedately pouring her coffee on the table to the left of the mug. She shot a glare at Nosedive, who was desperately trying to contain his laughter and keep himself from doing the avian equivalent of snorting milk out his nose. "Um, Tani…"

"Um, what?"

Wildwing gently moved her hand so that the coffee was pouring into the mug. "You were saying about those contacts?" he asked her calmly.

Dreva yawned. "We were working on them very early this morning… like around two or so. She still has to work some of the kinks out of them. Oh, and just for the record, it was her idea originally, I just pushed her to do it." She bent back to her breakfast.

"Why do I not trust that ‘for the record’ statement?" Nosedive asked the table. He was ignored, because most of his teammates felt that morning was too early to deal with him. He pouted surprisingly loudly and shoveled cereal into his face. It was going to be a long day, what with practice and the game that night… and the mystery of Dreva’s cooking. He wasn’t sure what to expect, not just because she was a total unknown, but because he suspected that she didn’t like him, and something dark in his mind told him that she might make it known through her culinary skills, or supposed lack thereof.

The thing that really annoyed him was that he was really starting to like her. It wasn’t the age-old boy-girl kind of like, just the casual kind that involved some level of trust and perhaps sharing of items such as CD’s. It wasn’t as if he had planned to get along with her, and he certainly didn’t trust her very much. Things just felt more comfortable with her around, almost like she had been a member of the team at the outset and had only just then returned to them. Man, this is just freaky! Nosedive thought.

Wildwing interrupted his train of thought with the announcement that there would be practice as soon as everyone was finished with breakfast. Depending on their opinion of the announcement, some of the ducks hurried to finish, while others dawdled to delay as long as they could. Eventually, though, even the laziest duck knew that practice was imperative that morning, because this would be their first game with a substitute available.

He liked the way they worked out there. Tanya had done some studying a couple of days ago and had researched the Cosmos’ style of play, so she had written up some suggestions for drills to run. However, there was just one little problem facing them…

"Tanya! Would you please watch it?" Dreva asked sharply. The blonde had skated into her again. This made the third time in the last ten minutes. Wildwing put a gloved hand to his masked forehead and sighed. Extra patience would be very much appreciated right about now, because I don’t want to scream at either of them, but that seems to be the only way to get peace.

"Hey, guys, stop ya complainin’ ‘ready, would ya? Ya just makin’ this longer than it has ta be, ‘kay?" Duke skated up to the two women and worked his way in between them, although he would admittedly have preferred if one of them was a certain redhead. "Ya can make like ya goin’ ta kill each other later, and we’ll all come and watch if ya want. But not now."

Well, I’m impressed, Dreva thought dryly but dared not say. She skated away, as did Tanya, albeit a bit more easily. Tanya was still adjusting to life without glasses. As the blonde moved away from the boards, she felt herself slipping, and suddenly she hit the ice hard on her tail. She knew that she had to be blushing bright cherry red, but fortunately her protective gear hid most of her face. "Um, ah, guys, could I maybe get some help down here?" she asked plaintively. "And, ah, quickly, because this stuff is cold, y’know."

"Duh, Tanners, it’s ice, of course it’s cold," Nosedive taunted. "It doesn’t take a genius like you to figure that out."

She shot him as dirty a look as she could manage with most of her face being covered by her helmet. "This isn’t funny, Dive."

"Says you. I think it’s a riot, maybe even a riot and a half."

Tanya was suddenly lifted up. She was too embarrassed to admit that she couldn’t tell who her rescuer was, beyond the fact that it wasn’t the very slender Mallory or the towering Grin. "Um, thanks," she said hesitantly.

"No problem, Tanya," Wildwing replied, setting her firmly on her skates before going back into the net. When she heard his voice, Tanya winced invisibly, realizing just how stupid she must have looked in front of him. Her embarrassment reached previously unheardof depths of shame. As she absentmindedly and automatically reached up to adjust her not-present glasses, she nearly lost her balance again.

As Nosedive snickered in the background, Grin reached out and kept her from falling. "Are you all right?" he asked her.

"Yeah, just, ah, not used to life without specs," Tanya answered. "I’m still working on getting the kinks out of these. I’ll be fine, really." She smiled in reassuring fashion, then turned an extremely annoyed gaze on Nosedive. "And once I do…" She trailed off with a hint of menace in the words, but not in her tone.

"Guys, save the aggression for Houston tonight, okay? Tearing each other apart isn’t really a good idea," Wildwing said forcefully in a quiet tone of voice. He restarted the practice, which continued until around eleven in the morning. At that point, the alert on Drake 1 went off, eliciting a mix of cheers and moans. "Sheesh, don’t bad guys ever go on vacation?" Nosedive asked rhetorically as half the team ran downstairs to get the details while the other half went to get the Migrator.

"If they were on vacation, they wouldn’t be botherin’ us, and that’s what they live for. Didn’t ya know that?"

"Okay, Tanya, so where are we going, anyway?" Wildwing asked from the driver’s seat. He gripped the wheel lightly.

"Um, the Second National Bank- downtown, y’know. Can’t tell, ah, who it is, though. It wasn’t too clear."

"Does it matter? Whoever they are, they are in the wrong. We must set them on the proper path. That is our duty on this planet."

"Um, yeah, okay, whatever, Grinster. Are you sure that girl hasn’t scrambled your brains the way most of them do?" Nosedive asked with a raised eyebrow. That earned him a triple-barreled glare from the three female ducks in the vehicle. He put his hands up in a defensive posture. "Hey, girly-girls, I was just kidding, relax, would you?"

Mallory slowly relaxed until she didn’t look like she was going to kill him at the next chance she had. It took Dreva a longer moment to take her hand off the hilt of her sword, but the twinkle in her eye suggested that she had had mischief in mind for that moment. Tanya had already given up the glare, mostly because her eyes were starting to tear up. The contacts were still giving her some problems.

"Please don’t kill my brother," Wildwing said to them. "I like having him around, at least most of the time."

"MOST?!" Nosedive squawked. "I’m hurt, big bro, I’m really hurt."

"I don’t suppose ya could all save this for later?" Duke asked sarcastically. "Ya know, we are goin’ ta a battle, so ya could maybe get ya minds on that, okay?"

Somehow, that declared peace where no peace had been declared before, and the last two minutes or so of the ride were quiet and calm. Then they reached the bank, where the wailing alarm was more than enough warning of the robbery going on. Launchers and other weapons blazing, the team headed into the bank. A trio of scrawny-looking teenagers were in the process of intimidating the teller with some heavy-duty guns. "No one gets hurt if you give us the money," the oldest one of them declared. He wore only part of a ski mask, revealing a strong jawline and a case of acne that would have better befitted a pepperoni pizza.

"Oh no no no, that’s not the way you make withdrawals at this bank, don’t you know that by now?" Nosedive inquired. Once the traditional wisecrack was spoken, the shooting could begin. Although the kids seemed young, they knew well how to use the armament they were packing.

"Remember not to hit them!" Wildwing yelled. "They’re just kids, just like Dive!"

"And you want us to miss them why in that case?" Mallory countered. But she aimed carefully nonetheless.

A shot whistled by Duke’s ear. "Hey, ya want ta be careful with that thing?" he asked without looking backwards. "I don’t want ta be left short some pieces, okay?"

Pucks and bullets flew through the air inside the bank, then outside as the ducks drew their enemies into the open. No one seemed to have scored any definitive hits, and that was really bothering more than one of the ducks. After all, they were facing a bunch of teenagers; how hard should it have been for them to get this mess over with in time for lunch?

Once again, Duke felt something go by him. "I told ya to cut that out!" he protested sharply, turning around this time. He saw Tanya squinting, aiming, and going just to the left. "Tanya?" But she wasn’t listening. "Hey, Tanya!"

By that point, Wildwing had noticed the blonde’s shots going awry as well. "Um, Tanya…"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Could you please not shoot at anything any more, please?"

"Okay, but why?"

Because you’re putting us in danger, that’s why, he thought, but did not say. "We got it covered, and you’re kind of being a distraction, to be completely honest with you."

"Sure thing," she said, turning off the laser on her Omnitool. With the threat of falling victim to friendly fire being much reduced, the battle went much more quickly. It only took another minute or so for them to finish off their foes. After their guns blew up, the trio of teenagers were much less interested in trying to make some easy money than in just trying to survive. The cops arrived to take the kids into custody, and the glare in the eyes of the perpetually annoyed Captain Klegghorn suggested that he felt that in some way the ducks were responsible for this.

"Man, that guy really gets on my nerves," Nosedive grumbled. "I think if he could he would blame us for everything that ever happened on this planet."

"Dive, what happened to you? I’ve almost never heard you being so cynical."

"Sorry, bro. I think this place is starting to get to me. And I haven’t had any snack food yet."

"I get the idea." The Migrator pulled into a parking space in front of the nearest convenience store. Nosedive dashed in with a five-dollar bill and scooped up whatever goodies he could get his hands on. It took him only a minute to get his fix. After that, he was much easier to ride with, if not to deal with. He left a confused proprietor in his wake as the Migrator headed off back towards the Pond.

For once, Wildwing was at a loss as to what to do. They had all practiced their brains out, and he knew that further practice was not going to make them any more ready for Houston that night. But he didn’t just want to send them off to their own devices; that would be a disaster almost as bad as the many Anaheim had already suffered. So he was caught in a quandary.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "If you don’t decide, we’re all going to wander off, just thought I’d let you know," Dreva remarked with studied carelessness. "We’ve had more than enough practice for the last couple of days. Add that to the complete and total insanity we've suffered for the last two days, and I think we need a break."

"And your point is?" he replied with an eyebrow raised- or at least the strong impression of a raised eyebrow. "Should I remind you of who’s in charge of this team?"

"I know it’s you, but I’m just making a suggestion. Is that allowable, or are you a dictator?"

He sat in silence, but somehow it didn’t give Dreva the feeling of triumph she thought it would. Nosedive tapped her on the shoulder and mumbled through a mouthful of unidentified pastry, "He does that a lot… goes silent on you. No one knows what it means."

"Is that supposed to reassure me?"

"No, it’s supposed to warn you. Reassurance isn’t happening yet. Stick around a while and see if we like you, ‘kay?" He turned away from her and went back to denuding his snack stockpile. She glared at him for a moment, but he was right, and it galled her. Bad enough that he reminded her of her irritating youngest brother, but she also didn’t like the fact that she wasn’t deemed trustworthy. She knew that she hadn’t yet earned it, but she felt like she should have.

The chatter went on around her, Duke teasing Tanya about her lack of glasses and her tart retorts, Mallory and Wildwing talking shop, because there was a game that night, and Nosedive just pestering everyone. She didn’t fit in. I should have known better than to think I would just show up and be one of the gang… the flock, perhaps? You’ve really put your foot in the mierda now, girl, and you know it. Just keep waiting, something’s bound to improve, somehow, some way. Just hold on tight to every fading dream… easier thought than done, isn’t it?

She closed her eyes and let her other senses tell her what was going on. The Migrator was slowing up a bit, which meant they had to be arriving at the entrance to their headquarters, and the sudden soft click had to mean that the billboard was lifting up. A few seconds later, they came to a halt, and some mild sniffly comments let Dreva know that Tanya had tried and failed to get out of the vehicle on her first try. The brunette opened her eyes to disembark, ignoring the curious look she got from some of her teammates. It had been a good exercise for her to test her other senses.

Wildwing still looked a little indecisive about the afternoon. Finally he shrugged. Not saying a word, he headed into his room with a book on his mind. "Par-tay time," Nosedive declared.

Before the blond could get his dangerous schemes into motion, Wildwing stuck his head out the door and said, "Dive, don’t. Whatever it is, don’t do it. And I would much prefer it if Dreva stayed here for once, okay?"

Bad words flicked through the brunette’s mind, but she dared not speak them. After all, she would have to explain why she wanted out of the Pond, and that would be more than she was willing to admit. She would be more than suspect, she would be strange, fey, and always questioned. She was sick of that. A million times she would rather be kept penned up instead of being looked at again as a creature and not as herself. "Okay," she said reluctantly. "I wanted to go to the mall, but I guess I’ll stick around here. Do you have anything good to read?"

This time there were five ducks heading out on the road; only Wildwing and Dreva had opted to stay behind. However, only three of them went to the major destination of the area: Duke was going to the park and Tanya wanted to meet up with one of her fellow scientists who was in town for a convention of some sort. Nosedive, Mallory, and Grin were the only ones going to the mall. While driving back from dropping Tanya off at the hotel, Nosedive asked, "Hey, Grinster, why are you suddenly spending so much time at the mall?"

The big duck looked at him with an absolutely straight face. "Why should I not?" he countered.

Mallory smirked at the blond. "He’s got you there, you know." In a whispered aside, she added, "What, you were expecting normalcy out of him? I think not."

"Are you agreeing with me, Mal-mal, or am I going insane?"

"No rule that says both can’t happen at the same time." The redhead suddenly hit the brakes, causing Nosedive to hit the floor. "We’re here," she announced in a cheery tone, casting a look of sheer impishness back at him. "Oops, did I hit the brakes too hard? Sorry."

"Whatever, just get out of the car. Think you can remember where we’re parked?"

Mallory looked back at the Migrator looming over the other cars in the lot. "Dive, I really don’t think that’s going to be much of a problem."

"’Kay, I’m gone, then. See you guys later, ‘kay?" Nosedive strolled off as cavalierly as he could until he disappeared into the vast building. "That is one very strange kid," Mallory commented. "What time do you want to meet up for the ride home?"

Inscrutable silence was her answer. She looked up and realized that she was standing alone in the parking lot, and people were looking at her curiously. "I really hate when he does that," she said to no one in particular. "Oh, whatever." She headed into the mall with lots and lots of shopping on her mind.

Nosedive headed through the door of the comic shop and plopped himself down on the stool on the customer side of the counter. Without looking up he launched into a tirade. "Man, this woman is going to drive me crazy! She just pops up out of nowhere and she expects us to treat her like she’s been there forever. She’s weird, she’s creepy, and she’s honestly scaring me. I mean, she gets into Grin’s feathers, and he’s about as unflappable as they come. And the worst part is that I’m the only one who really sees it. Yeah, Wing and everyone else give her a hard time sometimes, but they act like she’s just part of the team so it’s okay to get on her case."

He swiveled the stool around and continued, "The really stupid part of this whole thing is that she really isn’t all that bad. Sometimes I get to liking her, but I know that she’s trouble walking. Even when she gets pretty and pretty pissed, I know she’s just a problem waiting to happen. But I can’t deny that she gets pretty, and sheesh, you know, I am a guy. I may be a duck, but I’m a guy, and when there’s only three girls of your species on the planet and one of them can’t stand you and one of them is just too old- what are you expecting me to do?" He banged his head against the glass case. "I’m going to go absolutely crazy. This girl is going to make me absolutely nutszoid before this week is out, I’m sure of it."

He finally looked up and realized that there was no one there. "Oh, man," he groaned. "I feel stupid now."

"Dude, do you talk to yourself all the time?" someone’s voice mumbled from behind the counter. "Well, whoever you are, if you want nachos and cheese, I’ve got them warmed up, and this is an effing big bag." The someone came out from the room in the back and looked at him semi-curiously. "Figures. Cool!"

He looked at the someone, seeing a skinny Spanish girl, about his age and three inches shorter than he was. She had dark brown curly hair in a ponytail with many elastics taming it- one of which included a scrunchie with a strikingly familiar logo on it. Her light brown eyes looked at him intensely. She wore two shirts in a common fad: one long-sleeved and teal, the other short-sleeved and white, with the Mighty Ducks logo stamped proudly upon it. In human terms she was rather pretty, but Nosedive was not human, and rather proud of the fact.

Teresa continued to stare at him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"What are you doing here?" he shot right back. "I know you’re not Thrash or Mook, because your hair’s too normal."

"I need money, Thrash and Mook needed lunch, and my usual shop closes from noon til one-thirty. So I’m babysitting. I just hope they don’t take too long." She glanced at the clock. "I’ve been spending the whole day covering for people, it seems. My boss didn’t show up today, and I’m worried about her- I called her place, and she wasn’t there. I just hope she decided to go pick up some more inventory without telling me, because otherwise I’m going to be very scared. Oh, by the way, the name’s Teresa. People call me Terry, people call me T-T, but I can’t stand those particular nicknames."

"Nice to meet you. Are you a fan?"

"How could you tell?" she replied sarcastically. "Yes, and that got me into a pretty pickle a long time ago, but that’s neither here nor there. Are you going to buy anything, or were you just looking for a sympathetic shoulder when you came in here?"

"Is there a law that says I couldn’t be looking for both?" he countered. "The freaks know what I need and what I read, and they’re also pretty good at listening, or at least pretending to listen while they do other stuff."

"Freaks?"

"Well, they don’t like being called human, and they like being called weird, so what were you expecting me to call them?"

"Let me think about that." Teresa shrugged and cracked open the bag of nachos. "You still want some?"

"DO I!" Nosedive reached into the bag and took a huge handful of nachos, dumping the whole lot into the plastic container of cheese. "Teresa, I like the way you think."

"So do I," she agreed dryly, chowing down herself.

Ten minutes later, Thrash and Mook came through the door, saw the nachos lying on the counter, and screamed, "Pay dirt!" The two of them, along with Teresa and Nosedive, polished off that bag as well as a second, talking of many strange things unique to teenagers and their ilk.

Grin was very disappointed when he came to the door of Serendip and found nothing there but a sign that depicted a very confused-looking human face and the words "What? We’re totally out to lunch. We might be back at one-thirty. Then again, we might not be. We have absolutely no idea."

He found it to be strange, because Serendip didn’t usually take lunch break. When Andy was having lunch, Teresa minded the shop, and the other way around. He shrugged. One of them must have been unable to come to work that day. It bothered him not having seen Andy in the last couple of days, though. It worried him. Maybe there was something wrong with her.

He looked more closely at the sign and saw something hidden behind it. Reaching into it, he found an envelope with Teresa’s handwriting on it: "To #1". That had to be a mutual pun. He cracked open the envelope and discovered a note in typeface. ‘I don’t trust Teresa to write this for me, so I’m dictating it to my handy-dandy voice-activated computer in the back. Dear one, I’m fine, I just got caught in a couple of things that required my immediate and pressing attention. So I had to go for a while. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, and I’m going to make it to our rendezvous on Friday night. I wouldn’t miss it for all the worlds. All my love, Andy.’

That settled that, and convincingly so. He sighed. It would have been nice to see her a bit sooner than Friday, but he could wait for her. I have waited all my life for her, so I can wait another day, I suppose. On the other hand, the length of the prior wait makes this one seem almost an insult added to the prior injury. No matter. She is where she is, and no action of mine will change that fact. That will not keep me from asking tomorrow what she has been doing for the last two days. He turned away from the door that had come to provide entry to a place of peace and refuge.

As he went, he almost crashed into Mallory. Fortunately, she had gotten out of his path in time, and she watched him go by lost in thought. It wasn’t the first time he had been too wrapped up in what was going on inside his head to ignore what was going on around him, but usually he recognized when one of his teammates was nearby. This time, he didn’t even acknowledge her. Honestly, the only thing worse than a girl mooning over a drake is a drake mooning over a girl! I’m glad that silly love thing hasn’t gotten into my feathers! Her thoughts were confident and assured, but for a brief moment, an image flitted in and out of her mind, of a dark rogue whose every aspect ran counter to her own and yet intrigued her for just that reason.

Great. This love thing is pucking contagious. She picked up her few packages- too few for her tastes, but adequate for her budget- and headed out to the Migrator to load them in. On the way, as she dodged her fellow shoppers, she checked the time on her com. "One twenty-five… drat! I’ve got two hours of perfectly good shopping time left, but I’m broke. Guess I’ll go collect Nosedive. I just hope I don’t have to save him from the shopkeeper like last time. Then again, if he’s where I think he is, it won’t be a problem. That’s a shame." I need some trouble right about now. At least there I know what’s coming at me. Right now I’ve got a headache the size of a whole planet- take your pick which one. I really want to kick the ever-loving crap out of somebody!

"And then she gives him the look. You know the one of which I speak… the death glare. You know his history, man- he should be able to handle that. She’s so tiny, after all. But he backs away like he’s got all the ships of the Saurian Empire chasing him. And then he has the nerve to lie about what I was going to do with the worms. Eat them? Man, I am not that stupid. I can’t believe that she bought it. So I was in major major trouble for that one." The hint of a smirk danced around the edges of his beak. "I’m just really surprised she was dumb enough to believe that I was dumb enough."

Teresa, who had worn #15 since the middle of her seventh grade year because of Mallory, was rather wrathful over the story. So she threw a wadded-up napkin at Nosedive. "Oh, behave," he said, doing his best Austin Powers impression. Then he tossed it right back at her. From there it degenerated into a comedy of a food fight, with Thrash and Mook desperately trying to get the merchandise under cover and stay out of the way as nachos, napkins, and empty cheese containers whizzed by. The battle was surprisingly even- though Nosedive was an athlete of lifelong training, Teresa was also athletic and just as coordinated. She was also more used to throwing things. Both of them were decorated with stripes of congealing cheese and nacho chip particles when the ammo started to run out. Brown eyes and green both lit upon the freshly delivered pile of flyers sitting on the counter. As Teresa and Nosedive went simultaneously for the papers, their two companions leaped to stop them.

This was the tableau that Mallory walked into. As she stood in the doorway, trying to figure out what was going on, Nosedive lobbed half of a donut at Teresa. She sidled out of the way with a casual sort of whistling. The donut splatted against Mallory’s forehead and began to slither slowly down her face… and to Nosedive’s consternation, the stale remnant of someone’s breakfast was a jelly donut. Finally, it came to a rest on her bill.

She was a hilarious sight to see, but no one dared even essay a giggle. Nosedive let out a small sound, but it was more one born of fear than of any hint of humor. Teresa turned a remarkable shade of cherry red, caught in a situation she would never have imagined by any stretch. She made the pretense of checking her watch- pretense because there was a large clock not ten feet away from her and clearly in view.

"Teresa, run for it," Mook said quickly. "We’ve got a life-threatening situation coming up in about ten seconds, and you’re in the radius."

"Oh, faboo," the Latina grumbled. "Why does that sound familiar?" She ran behind the counter and out the back door, just in time.

"NOSEDIVE!!!!!!!!!!!" Mallory screamed. "I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" She advanced on him with menace evident in every fiber of her being. "You are the deadest dead duck that ever set foot on any planet!!!"

"Whoa, could you not do it in here, please?" Thrash begged. "Blood in the carpet is such a downer to the customers."

Mallory glared at him. Mook took action and shoved Nosedive out the door, thus causing the redheaded duck to dash out the door, still simmering in her fury. She was shouting dire proclamations as the door slammed closed. "Man, I hope he doesn’t follow Teresa to her shop," the girl declared.

"Where does she work, anyway?"

"Some weird mystic place on the next floor."

Good thing she didn’t hear me telling the story about the worms! Nosedive thought quickly as he ran to the Migrator. The second his tail hit the driver’s seat, his com went off. "Did you guys forget to leave Tanya a guide? There’s a report coming in from the convention she went to that there’s something weird going on, and I’m worried that she might be involved in it."

"I’m on it, big bro!" Nosedive shouted.

"Dive, where are Mallory and Grin?"

"I dunno," Nosedive said quickly. "Over and out."

"Not so fast, baby bro. What do you mean you don’t know? What happened, Dive? Did you get in trouble again? Start talking."

"Hey, you know, anything could be happening to Tanya, can’t we take this up later?"

"Nosedive." The younger brother sighed. He recognized that tone- the voice of command that every older sibling possesses for use with their recalcitrant younger counterparts.

Still, he hesitated. "Well, there was this food fight, and there was this donut…"

He didn’t have to say any more, because Mallory came storming into the Migrator and started to smack Nosedive around, the abuse culminating in her unceremonious removal of him from the driver’s seat. "Wildwing, can I please kick his sorry tail to kingdom come? After we pick up Tanya, that is."

"We’ll discuss that later, as soon as I find out what happened. I’ll see you later. And try to convince her to give up on those contacts, would you?" Wildwing signed off, and Mallory took off. "Yo, Mal-mal, let me get my seat belt on!" Nosedive gasped, hanging on for dear life.

"Fat chance, Nosedive," she snarled, accelerating and screaming down the road like a demon. "You’re dead meat, remember? You’re expecting me to pity you?"

"Oh, for the love of hockey, it was an accident! Teresa was standing in front of you, and she got out of the way, and you just happened to walk in! I’m sorry it hit you, but it wasn’t like I was planning to! You’re acting like I took aim and shot it right at you, and I didn’t even know you were there! I’m not stupid enough to do that intentionally! I value my life, Mallory!"

She spared a moment to glance at him doubtfully. "We’ll figure out if you are that stupid or not another time, okay? I’m really not in the mood right now."

Well, that’s an improvement, now isn’t it? At least she’s not planning to kill me in the next five minutes or so. I like that. Nosedive leaned back in the seat and waited while Mallory tore up the road. I can’t wait to see what kind of trouble Tanya’s managed to get into without us.

"Someone keep her away from the displays!" a man with a large and prominent bald spot screamed. "Save the experiments!"

"Hey, I just want to look," Tanya protested. "Why are you people all shoving me away? This isn’t fair! This is speciesism!"

"You’ve already knocked over two trays of microchips and caused an hour’s search for a half-tested robot!" a black woman replied. "It doesn’t matter that you’re not from this planet, you’re just a danger to every exhibit here. Sorry, Tanya."

"It’s okay, Dr. Clarion, I guess," Tanya said. She started to walk away, almost crashing into another table. Merrika Clarion just put her hand to her forehead and sighed. "Worse than having my daughters here," she complained to no one in particular as she got up and led Tanya away from the fragile display. "Tanya, why don’t you sit down for a little bit and see if you can get your bearings back? Maybe we can discuss some of the projects you were saying that you might want to show me when we have time. Where did Stanley wander off to?"

"Um, Dr. Clarion, you’re treating me like a duckling- er, baby."

Merrika blushed. "Sorry about that. I have three daughters, all of whom drive me up the wall, and I guess the mothering instinct is just too strong in me. You were just acting so lost that I had to react."

A complaining voice was heard from the vicinity of the front door, whining something about this being a scientific convention, not a science fiction one. He was answered by a female voice who made many threats to the man’s life, and a younger one who wisecracked constantly. Finally, the man who had opened the door came flying into Tanya and Merrika’s field of vision, narrowly avoiding landing on one of the tables. "Tanya! Where are you, Tanya?" Mallory yelled.

"I’m over here," Tanya called back. "What are you doing here? It can’t be game time already, can it? It’s only, y’know, one forty-three."

"Wildwing was worried about you being out without your specs, so he sent out the reserves after you. Besides, it’s a seven o’clock faceoff. Oh, and he also thinks you left something on in your lab, because there’s a really horrible smell coming out of there. So is that enough reason for you to get out of here?"

"Yeah. I guess so. Dr. Clarion, are you going to keep me updated on the thing you’re working on? That would be really, really useful for us."

"Of course. I don’t know how well it’s going to work, but I’ll e-mail you the results on each of my tests as soon as I get them, okay?"

"Can’t expect them any sooner than that," Tanya laughed. Mallory and Nosedive looked at each other in shock. This was a side of the blonde that they had never had occasion to see- when she was in her own element, she was more relaxed than they had ever known her to be. Then she turned to go, and that air of casual comfort was gone, or at least lessened.

"So we’ve got half a team, what do we do with it?" Nosedive asked sarcastically as they headed off. "Are we going to track down everyone else and drag them back?"

Mallory shook her head. "Duke’s got one of the cycles, remember? And Grin was on his way out of the mall when I went to go get you." Then she remembered that she was mad at him. "So we’re going straight home."

"Assuming, of course, that there’s no bad guys lurking in wait for us, that no one decides to hold up a bank again, that we don’t hit a traffic jam, and that pigs can actually fly," Nosedive remarked.

Apparently pigs could fly, as there were no delays in their return trip. As the trio came down the corridor to the rec room, they heard Duke yelling, "This is a sword, ya idiot! What do I have ta do ta get it through ta ya? This is a sword!"

And Dreva’s reply, "You call that a sword, Duke? Here, hold on a sec, and I’ll show you a sword. That is just absolutely pathetic."

"Oooooh, no, this isn’t good. We’ve definitely got a problem here, and we’ve arrived just in time, haven’t we?" Mallory said. "I should have known he’d get himself in trouble with that girl."

From down the hall, Wildwing could also be heard. "Come on, there’s no need for this. Duke, you know she’s got you, whether you like it or not."

Mallory and Nosedive barreled down the hall, with Tanya following in more than slight confusion. As the blond and the redhead made to break down the door, she put her hand on the panel. They plummeted to the cold metal floor. Mallory came up in a fighting stance and was presented with her second odd situation of the afternoon. Why me? she wondered silently.

Contrary to her expectations, Duke and Dreva weren’t trying to kill each other, nor was anyone else’s life in danger. There was a game board on the table and a pad of paper on each side of it. There was a set of cards on the board and a small clock. "Pictionary, kinda sorta," Wildwing explained apologetically. "I finished my book, and there was nothing on TV, so I grabbed this from one of the storage things. I didn’t know they were going to get so serious about it."

Why do I have the suspicion that I’m trapped in some kind of nightmarish twist on this world? Why do weird things keep happening to me? This is just completely ridiculous, Mallory thought with a hint of irritation.

Nosedive looked at the two pads. "Yeah, I can see why she was getting on you, that’s barely even a stick, much less a sword." Duke shot a menacing glare at him.

"Wildwing, I need to go grocery shopping for dinner tonight," Dreva said in offhand manner. "There’s some things I need to pick up that are hard to come up most of the time, and it just won’t be the same without them. Please?"

"Well… if someone goes with you, it’s fine. Any volunteers, or am I going to have to pick someone?" There was an intense silence, the kind that filled the room like yet someone else had wandered into the room. Finally, with more than a little reluctance, Duke raised his hand. "Thanks, Duke. Be back as quickly as you can, okay?"

"No problem, Captain," Dreva replied flippantly. "I plan to be quick as I can be. I like supermarkets about as much as I like supervillains. Does anyone in here have any odd allergies that I should know about before preparing dinner tonight?" After a fair wait, she nodded. "Okay, I’m off. I don’t suppose there’s any vehicles in this place that don’t stick out like sore thumbs?"

"Go ask Phil if you can borrow his car. Don’t let him force you into any agreements about publicity stunts. If there’s a problem, just call me."

It took a few minutes, and more than once, they had to threaten to call in Wildwing, but Phil finally gave in, although his parting remark had been anything but gracious- "If you even scratch it, I’m reporting you to the INS!!" He had tossed Duke the keys anyway, then stalked off with angry and resentful mutterings. "Is he always like this?" Dreva asked Duke.

"Only when we need somethin’ from him. He’s a strange native’a this planet. I mean, even for this place, he’s strange, ya know?"

"No, I don’t know. I’ve only been here for a few days. I’m not even going to pretend I know what’s going on with these people. I don’t even understand you guys, and you’re my own people."

"Ah, join the party, Dreva, ain’t no one who understands these humans, not even them. C’mon, we’re here. Let’s get this over with quick, ‘kay? Bein’ out in public drives me crazy- all the people, ya know?" Duke parked the car in a hurry and got out. "So what do ya need, anyways?"

"All sorts of strange things," Dreva replied mysteriously. "I’ve got a shopping list in my gear somewhere, where is it- okay, I’ve got it. Thought I lost it for a sec. I plan to make this as quick and painless as possible. I hate shopping." She joined him outside a second later, a piece of paper in her hand.

They entered the supermarket fully expecting to be ambushed by insane fans and internally steeling themselves against the necessity of having to use force to get out of there. However, things were still, almost too still for their liking. Even for mid-afternoon on a Thursday, it was too empty inside the giant supermarket. "This is better than I thought it would be. No one’s going to bother us now. Just follow me and please hold on to the basket. If you lose it I’m going to get very annoyed, and bad things happen when I get annoyed."

With that, Dreva started running up and down the aisles, searching for what she needed. Duke kept up with her easily, wondering what the items had to do with each other and what could be done to them to make them edible. He wasn’t coming up with any ideas, and when he tried to ask her, she wouldn’t give him an answer. He found that to be very unfair and extremely rude. He had to admit that she knew how to get in and out of the place surprisingly fast, she must’a cased the place when she went shoppin’ in place’a Mally, he realized. Smart girl, and I’d bet she got some’a the same kind’a instincts I got. She’s too int’rested in takin’ care’a herself ta be any other kind’a girl. We have ta talk, and soon.

"Duke, are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to catch up to me?" Dreva asked impatiently. She was standing in the aisle of the checkout lane as the cashier gave her a goggle-eyed look. "Come on, you’ve got the basket of stuff, and I sort of need that."

He nodded and set the basket on the register strip and helped Dreva unload it. "Do I want ta know what yer goin’ ta do with all this stuff?" he asked nervously.

"Why bother asking? You’re going to see it in a few hours anyway. Hopefully, you’ll eat it and enjoy it. If not, you’re not eating dinner, so there." Dreva went into one of her pockets and blushed as best as she could. "Umm, Duke, do you have any of this place’s money on you? I don’t have anything."

"Don’t worry ‘bout it, sweetheart, I got ya covered." From somewhere in his clothes, Duke produced a wallet and flourished a credit card. "We have ta talk ta Wildwing ‘bout gettin’ ya hooked up with our cash if ya plannin’ on stayin’ here very long. It ain’t a good idea ta have ya runnin’ ‘round without money. It ain’t safe."

"But fighting Dragaunus and all the other weirdos and freaks you guys have told me about is?" the brunette countered as she hauled their purchases back to the car. "Am I the only one who’s noticed that, or is it just my completely out-of-this-world viewpoint?"

"Ya want ta talk out’a this world, talk ta Grin. He’s just ‘bout as out’a there as anyone I ever seen. Real smart, but sometimes it’s hard ta tell, ya know?"

"Sounds like my younger brother. He spent a little too much time with one of his dictionaries, and the only people who could understand him were his wife and our sister."

"Nah, that ain’t what I mean. The words all make sense on their own, they just don’t make any when he puts them together. I think he needs a translator." Duke chuckled somewhat, opening the car door. "Now, are ya gettin’ in, or do ya feel like walkin’ back? Should warn ya that I’d have ta do somethin’ of a drastic nature ta ya if ya started walkin’, ‘cause I got ta keep an eye on ya."

"Except for the drastic part, that sounds almost tempting. Then I wouldn’t have to help put the stuff away. But I don’t want to have something drastic happen to me, especially not something that you would consider drastic. So I guess I’m riding." She got into the car and sat down, fumbling a bit with the seatbelt. "I’ll never get used to these dratted devices," she muttered. "Which idiot designed these?"

"Don’t knock ‘em, they’ve saved lives."

"How, because people wanted so little to do with them that they refused to get in the vehicle?" The brunette sighed unhappily. Duke waited impatiently until she managed to get the two pieces of metal together, then slammed his foot on the gas pedal. They screamed off down the street. Dreva, when she could relax for a moment from the sense that she was going to die, finally settled back and watched the world go by. It was so strange and yet so familiar that she couldn’t help but be amazed. This is one very, very strange planet. I just hope that I get to understand it before I have to go. Wouldn’t that have gotten me brownie points once upon a time?

Their arrival back at the Pond was to loud arguing and vast quantities of screaming at the top of people’s lungs. "Tanya, you can’t see straight with those things! There’s no way you can wear them for the game!" Wildwing yelled. "It’s just not going to work!"

"They’re easier and less fragile than my glasses!" Tanya protested. "Besides, I’ve got them all figured out, okay? I can do this."

Nosedive snickered. "So you meant to walk into that last door," he concluded sarcastically. "And you meant to hit the wrong button on Drake 1 and almost fry our backups, too, right? Let’s face it, Tanners, you need those things like you need hair gel. You are totally lost without them."

"Clear sight is only one part of the game of hockey," Grin remarked. Tanya gave him a grateful look, but he went on to say, "But it is a very important part of the game. Without it, all else is lost."

"Oh, thanks," Tanya said. "Does anyone else feel like dumping on me while they have the op-oppor- the chance?" She stormed blindly out of the room, almost crashing into Duke and Dreva. She looked at them somewhat blankly, then continued to storm.

"The contacts ‘gain, hunh?" Duke inquired lightly. He cast a look at Dreva, who crossed her arms and muttered, "It was a good idea at the time, okay? Did I know that it wasn’t going to work the way it was supposed to? Did I know this? Am I clairvoyant amongst all my other talents?" She threw her hands up in the air, cast hopeless looks at the group, and walked out of the room, calling out, "I’m going to go cook. Anyone who comes into the kitchen while I’m in there should be prepared to be stuffed and put on display. I don’t consider this to be a spectator sport."

"Testy, isn’t she? Our luck she managed to show up in time for that time of the month… or is it, Mallory?"

Amazingly, Mallory managed to keep her temper as she asked Wildwing, "You and Nosedive didn’t have a sister, right?"

"No, we didn’t."

"Okay, so I won’t kill him. He doesn’t understand, and until he lives with a girl on a regular basis without anyone else for insulation, he never will. Let’s just say it’s not something he’ll joke about, okay?"

"Ah, female myst’ries," Duke drawled. "I get it."

Mallory just shook her head. "I start to think that they’re right and you really are all alike," she muttered to herself. "I’ll leave you to your male things. I have some stuff to do in my room. Someone let me know when Dreva’s done and dinner’s ready." She took her turn to leave the room.

Nosedive turned to his brother and asked gravely, "Big bro, will I ever understand girls?"

"There are some mysteries that will forever be left for us to learn, no matter how far we advance our knowledge," Grin answered.

"I’m going to take that as an enlightened way of saying no way."

Wildwing clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. "Baby bro, some things are best left beyond us. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair if we understood them and they didn’t understand us, would it?"

A couple of hours passed, mostly spent pondering the elemental differences between boy ducks and girl ducks, until Dreva sent word out through the comm system. "Grub’s on, for all those who want to come and get it!"

A veritable stampede was the result of the announcement. When the team came to table, they discovered a rather interesting spread. "Okay, whoever left the note on the fridge informing me that we have a vegetarian and two anti-poultry folks in the house, thank you very much, because no one else bothered to tell me that before I planned tonight’s menu. Good thing it was easily alterable," Dreva said in a rush as she finished putting things on the table. She looked oddly at home in the domestic setting with the apron still tied around her waist. "Plates are in the kitchen, because while I know half of you won’t be interested in the chicken, I don’t know who, and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone my first night cooking."

There were seven plates sitting on the counter, four with chicken breasts and three with just rotini pasta drenched in sauce; the pasta was also a part of the chicken plates. "If anyone has any allergies that they didn’t come clean about before, speak now or fear the consequences." No one spoke as Grin, Tanya, and Wildwing took the chicken-less plates. Everyone else served themselves before Dreva took the last plate and sat down. The nervous and apprehensive look on her face was a familiar sight to her teammates; they had both seen and worn the same expression many times before when they debuted a new recipe or had one tested on them.

Nosedive, the hungriest and bravest of the bunch, took a tentative forkful and tested it out. His eyes lit up and the rate of his eating increased dramatically. "Well, that proves that it’s edible, at the very least," Mallory remarked caustically.

The blond stopped shoveling food into his beak long enough to reply. "Mal-mal, have you tried it yet? Do that first, then get back to me."

The redhead listened to the silence that had descended upon the table and decided to go for it. "I’m impressed," she said a moment later. "Should I ask what’s in it?"

"Some spices I was surprised to find here, a lot of garlic, a dollop of olive oil, and a couple of ingredients that I’m sworn to secrecy about." Dreva’s smile was bittersweet at best. "And at that, it’s not nearly as good as my sister from which I stole the recipe. When she cooked, not only was the whole family at the table, no one said a word. Those were good days."

"What happened to your sister?" Nosedive was incautious enough to ask.

Dreva’s face hardened. "Shaya was murdered. Now if you’ll excuse me…" She leaped out of her chair and fled the room; the sounds of muffled tears could be heard as she ran away.

"Fire and ice, Nosedive, you have the common sense of- of- puck, I don’t even know what can be as stupid as that and still be alive." Mallory shook her head and glared at Nosedive, receiving a similar look in turn.

"Save it for Houston," Wildwing said roughly. "I don’t want to have to reach over the table and keep you two from acting like a couple of ducklings, but don’t think that I won’t if I have to."

A few minutes later, Dreva returned, her eyes still a bit puffy, but her composure completely in place. "Sorry about that, but it brought back some things that I thought I had dealt with a while back. I forgot just how hard it hit me." She said nothing else, just concentrated intently on her plate. Silence finally fell over the table, but it was the uncomfortable sort that could not be filled, not the sort that resulted from a group enjoying a good meal. Somehow, the pace quickened, not even in conscious awareness of the game coming up, but just to get away from the horrible and uncomfortable situation.

Game night at the Pond was always an adrenaline-producing event, and not just for the ducks. People gathered there hours before the first face-off, wearing replica jerseys and team t-shirts, caps with the familiar emblem plastered upon them, and whatever else they could scrounge up to fit in with the rest of the diehards. Occasionally, some unsuspecting soul garbed in the colors of another team would be fool enough to try to mingle with the diehards. Reactions varied. Some of the more militant fans felt a duty to rough the intruder up. Others merely taunted the visitor. A rare minority welcomed the stranger into their ranks and talked intelligent hockey. For some reason, these few tended to wear replica jersey #23, although some of Wildwing’s number were also seen amongst that crowd.

This particular crowd was speaking of Houston’s odds of beating Anaheim (approximately one out of fifty) and how this was a Western Conference power matchup like none yet that season, and that there were all sorts of probable trades being put together just to deal with the Mighty Ducks’ mastery of the conference. They were deep in thought and debate when the couple brushed roughly by them. "Watch it, sleazeoids," a wiry brunet with a long ponytail complained nasally. "Who do you think you are?"

"Honestly, some people," his blond companion agreed.

"They’re probably referees," the slender Spanish girl wearing #15 commented wryly. "Everyone knows that they’re blind."

"True that," the group rumbled. "But could referees scare Palmfeather that much? Look over there," the brunet added. The couple was talking to Phil, who was sweating profusely and tugging at the knot of his tie. The Spanish girl snickered. "In that case, they’re probably from some company that he tried to make a deal with, and now they want their dinero muy pronto. That man has the honesty of a snake."

"Be fair to him, girl," the blond remarked. "He hasn’t tried to trade any of the original team yet. Give him that at least."

The Spanish girl looked at him thoughtfully and said no more, as the group’s attention turned away from the mysterious strangers and back to the important things in life as the hours ticked away to game time.

There was unease in the arena as the fans took their seats. A disturbing number of rumors had been spreading around about the team: that Duke was going to be out for months, that they were looking into trades, that they were going to leave the NAHA for good, that this that and the other thing. While the place was usually loud and rumbly on a game day or night, this time it was a hesitant and worried buzz of crowd noise.

The announcer knew how to milk it for all he was worth. As the lights went down and he began the routine, he let the drama he was feeling overflow into his voice, giving the fans the sense that something was going on. When he got to the home team introductions, he switched the order around slightly, giving the defense first and leading into the offense. He was smirking as he announced, "At center, number 13, Duke L’Orange!" To quote the old sports cliché, the crowd went wild.

Duke saluted jokingly to the crowd as he skated to the center of the ice for the opening face-off. The Cosmos controlled, and the game was begun.

It was the third period, and the Mighty Ducks had a 2-0 lead. While the game raged on the ice, a couple- the very same couple who had inspired the wrath of the Anaheim faithful- studied the game with a fanatical intensity. The man was tall and thin, wearing a blue business suit and carrying a cane. His female companion wore a green dress and gloves which perfectly matched the shade of her eyes.

"You realize that this travesty must not continue, Miss León," the man said in a deep voice.

She replied lightly, "First of all, I said that you can call me Cammy. Second of all, I never said I didn’t agree with you. We both know that the proprieties must be followed, Mr. Thorian."

"Please, if we are to be on a first name basis, call me Ray. And I am glad to hear that we are in accord. It is certain then." With an effort, Ray clenched his fist and declared in a venomous hiss, "The Mighty Ducks will be brought down from their high perch!"

Cammy patted his arm proudly, and her green eyes shone with a zealot’s light. "We will chase them into the bowels of this place," she promised him. But as she turned her attention back to the game, the light faded away. It has been so long since I have seen such love for any game, such perfection in all the little details. In all I have seen, I have never seen this. But I have to uphold the rules, though, to protect the purity of the game. She tapped Ray’s shoulder. "Ray, I think we’ve seen enough to bring proof against them. Let’s get out of here."

Slowly, he rose, and they left the Pond, he with a self-satisfied smile and she with the best impression that she could do of one.

Sweet Spot: *adopts Monty Python voice* "And now for something completely different." I wanted to go for the comedic angle in this one. I think I did okay. I like this chapter, I really, really do. And I apologize to any ladies who are offended by Nosedive joking about periods.

Coming up: Who are Cammy León and Ray Thorian? What do they have in mind for Our Heroes? And will Nosedive live through the week? Stay tuned… please?

Shoutout: To my folks for providing me with the notebook that the food fight was written in and to the folks at the Garden for being insane enough to provide me with ample fans.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters (although I wish I did). I don't make any money off them (although I wish I did). I just like 'em a lot. So please, don't sue me. BUT anyone strange you run across is mine, so don't get comfy with them.

Gosh darn it all, e-mail me! My address is Pinballinggrrl@yahoo.com. I like getting feedback! I save and treasure fanfic correspondence!