Just one last time, Tanya thought wistfully. I like that feeling of freedom, and no one else is around to tell me no. The rest of her teammates were still asleep, tuckered out from the hard victory against the Cosmos. So she slipped in her contacts and tiptoed off down the hall to check on her experiment. Strangely enough, the lab was dark and silent. She shrugged; she must have forgotten to set the CD on repeat. When loves collide… choosing between hockey and science is extremely unfair!

She turned on the handheld computers on the desk, hooked them up to the Web, put one in its soundproofed casing, and hit the music. She was expecting it to be a rather sprightly classical piece. What she heard instead was enough to cause her to smack the CD player off, storm out of the lab, and scream at the top of her lungs, "NOSEDIVE!"

"What’s the ruckus about?" Dreva asked sleepily. "Tanya, it’s too early to be doing this."

"I’m going to kick Nosedive’s tail so hard he’s going to feel like he got hit by an asteroid," Tanya replied grimly. "I had an ex-ex-exper- a thing going on in my lab, and he totally destroyed it by changing the music in my CD player! I know it was him; he’s the only one on the team who even thinks about going in my lab when I’m not there. You’re right, it is too early to be doing this, but y’know, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do."

"Um, Tanya, could you do me one favor before you go tail-kicking? Would you please go put your glasses on? I know I suggested the contacts, but we’ve already established that they don’t really work." Dreva shrugged helplessly. "I’m sorry, Tani, but it’s the truth."

The blonde looked oddly at her. Her rage receding, she headed back toward her quarters to reclaim her spectacles, and Dreva continued down the hall; since she was awake, there was something she needed to ask Phil about. The only question was if Phil would be in his office that early in the morning. She quickly discovered that the answer was no way on any planet. Okay, it’s easier to do these things over the phone anyway. She took a look on the refrigerator to find the number of Phil’s cell phone, then gave him a quick ring. "Phil? It’s Dreva. No, the car is fine. Listen, you want someone to do something silly? Well, I’m your duck. Well, that was yesterday. I need to get out of here. Tanya’s on the warpath, and she looks ready to hurt someone. No, it wasn’t me. Why do you think it was me? I just don't want to be in the blast radius. No, there is no other reason."

She listened to the manager’s yammering without answer for a while. "Out of spiders, fish, and kids, I think I prefer the fish. So I’ll take the aquarium thing. It’s where? Oh, okay. Just one thing. Do you know the way to San José? Why are you sniggering like that?" In disgust she hung up the phone and trudged back to her converted storage room to collect her stuff. Along the way, she ran into the now-bespectacled Tanya. "Hi, Tanya, could you tell everyone Phil’s shanghaied me into going to someplace called San José to do a stunt? I think he thinks I owe him for the car."

"Uh, sure thing, Dreva. How long are you going to be gone?"

"I don’t know. I think I’m going to need a few hours just to cope with being lost and getting un-lost. And then I’m going to have to do who knows what… tell them not to expect me back for the whole day." The brunette thanked Tanya, then proceeded back down the hallway, feeling more than a little guilty about lying to her teammate. But I have to get out of here, and no one would ever believe that I volunteered for one of Phil’s crazy ideas!

It didn’t take long at all for her to pack: she snatched up her ever-present deck of cards, her two swords, and the pouch that she normally carried at all times that contained her most personal belongings. Beyond that, she had brought nothing else. The only other thing she could even remotely claim was her jersey, and that could stay in Anaheim. Everything else, she preferred to keep on her person.

She scribbled a note in her angular handwriting, stuck it to the refrigerator, and walked out the door. Inwardly, she swore that she would return and felt silly thinking that she needed to make that kind of promise. Even knowing that situations could change on a dime, this seemed to be a boat race.

An hour or so later, the rest of the team was awake and fully aware of their day’s shortage. "It’s almost too early for Phil ta be plannin’ somethin’, though," Duke pondered. "Ya think she’s doin’ somethin’ fishy?"

"I don’t know," Wildwing thought aloud. "There are things that she hasn’t told us, but that may just be her own thing. Not all of us talk about who we were before the Invasion. She’s fought well and honestly by all reports, and she didn’t do anything underhanded with dinner when she had the chance. It does seem strange that she’s on the road, but I don’t think there’s anything unsavory about it."

That being more or less settled, the team went for their preferred breakfast. While the coffee was percolating, Phil ran into the kitchen in panic. "Oh, no, oh no, oh no!" he repeated over and over again.

"Dos, dos, dos," Nosedive replied. "What, are we going on Sesame Street now? Phil, are you okay?" He looked at the portly human, but Phil wasn’t in a mood to exchange wisecracks with the young duck. Phil looked worried and completely terrified. "Whoa, something is seriously wrong here."

"Phil, what’s going on?" Wildwing demanded. "Is there something we need to know?"

The human took a vacant chair and slumped down in it. "I botched it, boobies," he confessed with unusual frankness. "I messed up bigtime. Bigger than I ever have before. I think we’re going to lose it all. I mean everything here."

"Are you going to tell us, or is it going to be a game of twenty questions?" Mallory inquired with a dangerous edge to her voice.

"They’re coming later this morning, and when they do, we’ll find out just how bad it is. Listen, I don’t want to talk about it right now, it’ll spoil my appetite, and I haven’t had breakfast yet." Absentmindedly, he reached for one of the donuts in the box near Nosedive, and just as absentmindedly, Nosedive closed the box on his hand. "Oh, what a horrible night, what an awful morning."

"Phil, ya not makin’ any sense, not even for ya. Are ya goin’ ta tell us what’s goin’ on, or are ya goin’ ta drag it out like a bad movie?" Duke asked.

"They’re coming at ten." Phil shot out of his seat, seeing that the clock read nine-thirty. "We’re doomed!" he screamed, the cry echoing down the hallway. "Tanya, did you reset the clock yesterday?" Mallory asked.

"Why is it always my fault when me-mech-mech- tech things go wrong? No, I didn’t. Grin knocked it off the wall on Wednesday- ask him what happened," Tanya replied around a buttered bagel.

"Time is relative, and there is no mortal clock that can hope to have the exact time of the universe. So why bother? Besides, to the evolved soul, time itself is immaterial."

Several loud blinks later, Wildwing replied, "That may be true, but we’re on this plane of existence, and the exact time or some reasonable version of it is an important part of life. Besides, if time is immaterial, why are you wearing a watch? Just fix the clock."

Just another perfectly normal morning for six stranded, sentient, hockey-playing ducks from another dimension. Sheesh, whenever I get to thinking that it’s this planet that’s weird, I look at my teammates and I start to wonder, Nosedive thought as Grin reached up and yanked down the clock with a single tug. And they think I’m the strange one, that's what really pulls my tail.

"What do ya think was buggin’ Phil?" Duke asked.

"Probably just the local tax authorities getting on his case," Mallory answered in disgust. "They probably think he’s hiding money, and they’re probably right. It’s amazing how much that man focuses on the bottom line." She sipped her coffee and leaned back in her chair.

The clock now read eight forty-five, the correct time. "Seeing Phil freak out like that was fun, though," Nosedive laughed. "I thought he was going to lose control completely there."

"What’s our schedule today?" Tanya asked.

"Practice at eleven, break at two. Depending on what I see there, we might practice again. And of course, we have to be ready in case we run into trouble, or trouble runs into us. Any questions?"

"Andy is coming at six-thirty," Grin reminded the team.

"Who?"

"His girlfriend," Nosedive told Tanya. That cued Mallory to reach across the table and smack him upside the head, and Wildwing to help Tanya get over her choking fit; in the shock of Nosedive’s pronouncement, some bagel had taken a wrong turn. The blonde wasn’t the only one surprised, either, because Duke was sitting there with his beak open in complete amazement.

"Literally accurate, but not intentionally so. Andy is a woman I know as a friend, so that could be construed as her being my ‘girlfriend’. However, I do not think of her in that way." He spoke the reassuring words, but Grin realized that for the first time in a long time, he was lying. He didn’t like the feeling.

The time flew by with Phil running through the Pond like a chicken without a head, screaming at the top of his lungs that they were all doomed. He refused to explain why, passing off the explanation that they didn’t want to know. Promptly at ten o’clock, the quaintly old-fashioned tones of the doorbell went off, which caused Phil to hide underneath one of the tables.

Wildwing went to the front door and opened up. Cammy and Ray stood there with bland, neutral looks on their faces. "Good morning, Mr. Flashblade," Ray said. "May we come in?"

"And who would you be?" Wildwing asked. "You know that we can’t let just anyone in here; we have enemies."

"Of course, Mr. Flashblade," Cammy agreed. She handed him a business card.

Wildwing took a look at the petite young woman in the green pantsuit, at the tall, gaunt old man in the blue suit, and at the names on the business card, and laughed. "I’m not stupid."

By that time, Phil had found the courage to get out from under the table and to the front door. "Boobie, don’t cause trouble, these guys are bad news," he whispered to Wildwing.

"Don’t worry, we’ve all met before. They’re just cold-blooded heartless slimeballs, that’s all."

"Well, you’re right about that, but not the way you think. Boobie, they’re worse than that."

"What could be worse than megalomaniac lizards that want to destroy my species and your world?"

"Wildwing, they’re lawyers."

Cammy gave Wildwing a look. "We’ve all heard of the properties of your mask," she said. "Surely you can prove the truth of this with it."

The duck nodded and put on the Mask. Any lingering sympathy that Cammy might have had from the night before was washed away once the impersonal and inhuman Mask was activated. No matter how much she loved hockey, she could not feel anything friendly towards either Wildwing or his team.

"I don’t believe this. They are legit. I’m sorry, miss, mister, but your names happen to match those of two of our enemies, and coming as you did…"

"Completely understandable. Now, may we proceed with the business that we came to conduct?"

"Of course." Wildwing led Cammy and Ray down to the conference room within the ‘normal’ Pond. Phil trailed along behind, rubbing his hands together nervously, sweat popping out on his brow. "Phil, we should have the rest of the team around for this. Too bad Dreva left already for that stunt in San José. Go get everyone else, would you?"

Phil took the next left and disappeared from view. Wildwing opened the door to reveal a long conference table with about ten cushy chairs placed around it. "Please, make yourselves comfortable while the rest of the team comes up." He took his own advice as he settled into one of the chairs near the two lawyers.

About five minutes later, the other five ducks arrived. "What’s going on, bro? Phil just mumbled something about the world coming to an end."

"Allow us to introduce ourselves," Ray said. "My name is Raymond Thorian; this lovely lady is my colleague Camille León. We are representatives from the legal department of the North American Hockey Association, and we have come to discuss some… irregularities with your team."

"Whoa, did this guy have a dictionary for breakfast or something?" Nosedive whispered.

"Kid, this ain’t the time ta be crackin’ wise," Duke replied. "This is too big a deal for ya ta be messin’ it up, ‘kay?"

"How do you know?"

"One thin’ I’ve learned, if lawyers are gettin’ involved, it’s a big deal. They’re too pricey ta be used for anythin’ else."

Cammy cut off further conversation by snapping open a large briefcase rather dramatically and removing a large sheaf of papers. "Certain problems have come to light of late," she started. "The league was either unaware of them or chose to turn a blind eye, for reasons that none of us here have yet to figure out. However, several months ago, Mr. Thorian and I were assigned to investigate the team after complaints from over half the franchises of NAHA: namely the Maine Cohogs, the Detroit Crankshafts, the Portland Pioneers, the Houston Cosmos, the Toronto Maple Syrups, the Hoboken Flamingoes, the Dallas Armadillos, the Minnesota Cheeselogs, the Vancouver Macaroons, the Oakland Polar Bears, and the Charleston Yellow Jackets. In our research, we discovered some things about your team that are not… kosher, shall we say?"

"Start talking," Phil said hesitantly. "What do you have?"

"First, yesterday your team played a defenseman named Dreva Quickwing, is that correct?"

"Yes," Wildwing said.

"Has Miss Quickwing been signed to a contract with the league?" Ray inquired.

"Of course," Phil said.

Cammy pierced him with her gaze. "If that were the case, then the contract would be in the league’s files on the team. Mr. Thorian and I have the entire file either with us or in our office in Los Angeles, depending on need. There is no contract registered with the league that binds Miss Quickwing."

"Which leads us to our next contention," Ray continued. "Miss McMallard, Miss Quickwing, and Miss Vanderflock are all players on this team, correct?" Tanya and Mallory nodded. There was no use in trying to deny it, although Tanya suspected that she knew what was coming.

"Are you aware that NAHA prohibits mixed-gender teams; that in fact, the league does not allow female players at all? Beyond that, it is improper in the extreme for male and female players to be on the same team."

By now, both female ducks were giving Phil the evil eye- why didn’t he bother telling us about this before? Mallory wondered.

"There is a problem with the number of players on your team as well," Cammy stated. "The league requires a minimum of nine players suited up and ready to play on any given game night, in case of injury or other emergency. However, even with the questionable addition of Miss Quickwing, your team only has seven players. This is not permissible. You must add more players to your roster."

Nosedive had had enough. "Hey, don’t we get any breaks for saving the world on a weekly basis?" he demanded of the attorneys. "Can’t the league cut us some slack for being superheroes and pro hockey players?"

Ray looked almost amused. "Mr. Flashblade, I don’t think you realize the league is cutting you some slack, as you so quaintly put it. We are willing to overlook some of the less important problems, such as the fact that you have flouted California law regarding the education of minors, or the fact that you and your teammates are not registered as any sort of legal residents within this country. But some of the problems we have observed imperil the purity of the game and must be corrected. Miss León, unless you have any more points you would like to bring up…" Cammy shook her head. "We will withdraw and allow you to seek the advice of counsel to remedy these matters."

With that, the two attorneys picked up their briefcases, opened the door, and took their leave of the group. "Phil, why didn’t you tell us that we’ve been running outlaw since day one?" Wildwing asked sharply.

"Yeah, we’re the good guys, we’re not supposed to be breaking the rules," Mallory added.

"Boobies, you haveta understand, they told me all of this was peachy fine," Phil said pleadingly. "They told me back then that everything was fine."

"So why did it change now?" Nosedive demanded of Phil, of his teammates, and of the office furniture. "Why is everyone suddenly on our case on top of Draggy trying to turn us into paté?"

"Those who cannot defeat us on the ice seek to do so through the fine print of the rules. Except for Charleston, we have played and defeated all those teams resoundingly. So they turn to other methods to claim victory."

"Uh, I think there’s something else, too, Grin," Tanya continued. "I’ve, ah, been looking at the money situation, and, well, we’re not drawing as much as we used to, not by a long shot. I mean, we’re still leading the league in attendance, but the numbers are way down from where they were before. I guess the novelty wore off, y’know?"

"One other thing, boobies," Phil said. "NAHA was in serious deep financial trouble before you came along and pulled them out."

"Those sleazeoids!" Nosedive exclaimed. "So they only like us because we saved their tails from going broke, and now that they’re rolling, they think they can get rid of us. Man, this bites big time."

"Phil, do you know a competent lawyer?" Wildwing asked.

"Of course, bubbalah!"

"A legal competent lawyer?" Mallory pressed.

"Well… he’s a little unorthodox sometimes, but he gets the job done," Phil said hesitantly.

"Oh, no, ya better not get us in any more trouble than we’re ‘ready in, that’s the last thin’ we need. Someone go get the phone book," Duke said with a groan.

The alert on Drake 1 chose that incredibly inconvenient moment to start blaring. "That’s it! We need to get a new day job! This is just insane!"

"Yeah, but what could we do?" Tanya asked Nosedive as they went to the headquarters below. "I mean, we don’t exactly blend in with the locals, y’know."

"So what part’a beautiful Anaheim do we get ta go save today?"

"That’s what I can’t figure out. It looks like this thing just decided to go off by itself without anything causing it to." Wildwing looked like he was tempted to kick the mainframe’s side; barely after eleven in the morning, and it was already a long day.

Tanya moved over to the computer, got Wildwing away from it to vent, and started typing rapidly. "I don’t get it, it’s like someone just sent Drake 1 a message to go off at a certain time. I can’t think of why they would, either."

"Maybe they thought it would distract us from something important. It does surprise me that it didn’t give us a false address to get us mixed up even more."

"Well, I don’t know about a false address, but give me a couple of minutes, and I think I can get you the real address of whoever sent this program," Tanya said absently with her attention fixed on the computer. "Then I say we go, ah, pay them a visit. No one plays with my computer and gets away with it."

A few somewhat tense minutes passed while Tanya did her technological magic to trace who was causing them trouble. She whooped suddenly and drew everyone’s attention, which in turn made her flush. "Um, guys, I got it," she explained uneasily.

"Good work. Print out the address, and we’ll roll." Tanya’s flush grew deeper at Wildwing’s simple praise, and her pencil clattered to the floor. Nosedive picked it up and started snickering at her. She shot him a mildly dirty look as she took her pencil back, but said nothing. She knew that there was nothing she could say that wouldn’t make the situation worse. Honestly, Nosedive is the most impossible duck on the face of any planet!

The address led them to a rundown part of town, somewhere in the general vicinity of the warehouse district where they had spent so much time in the past. A sign dangled from the front of the two-story building. It swung forlornly in the slight breeze. The faded letters read Darin Andrews, Esq. Smaller print indicated that Mr. Andrews was a specialist in contract law. "Well, this is an interesting turn of events, isn’t it?" Wildwing asked himself. "Just when we need a lawyer, we find one who deals with the very branch that we need."

"Such is life. Everything is connected to each other."

"Thank you for that pithy commentary. Tanya, Duke, Mallory, you’re coming in with me. Nosedive, Grin, stay here in case someone decides that they want our wheels." The chosen ducks filed out of the Migrator, while Nosedive complained that he was always getting the short end of the stick. As the door was closing, a philosophical battle was already beginning to rage.

There was no doorbell, or buzzer, or other sort of chime on the door. It was unlocked and slightly ajar, an oddity in this bad neighborhood. More than a little nervously, the team entered. There was a small reception area in the front of the office, with several chairs and a perky blonde secretary. "Hi! I’m Olivia! Do you have an appointment with Mr. Andrews?"

"No, but we’re about to make one," Mallory replied. "Tell your boss that we need to talk to him pronto, and make it quick, before I turn you into my latest target."

"Mally, it ain’t nice ta threaten people like this, she don’t know what’s goin’ on here," Duke said mildly to the redhead.

"Duke, are you actually being the good cop here?"

"Who, me? Do ya really think I’d do somethin’ like that? Not likely. Not after my past. I ain’t no cop."

Olivia tapped her intercom and stuttered, "Mr. Andrews, you have company… the Mighty Ducks are here."

"Are they in the appointment book?"

"Um, no, but I think it’s really important, you should really talk to them. Just give me a second, and I’ll come in and explain, I always feel strange talking on this thing-"

"I get the idea, Olivia. Step in, and this had better not be another of your boyfriend’s little jokes, because if it is, this is the last time." Olivia nodded and skittered away from her desk as quickly as she could. After a couple of minutes, a deeper voice spoke through the intercom. "You may enter the office." Olivia came back into the reception area and repeated the message.

The man sitting at the desk was a profoundly unimpressive sight. He was in his forties, with hair going gray; he was unsuccessfully trying to hide this fact from the rest of the world with cheap black dye. His deep-set eyes were a clear green, and his features ordinary at best. Still, there was a spark of intelligence in his eyes that belied the circumstances he was in. "I assume, of course, that you would be the Mighty Ducks. My sister was a huge fan. I admit to following your team somewhat, since Anaheim has no other sports teams, not even those not worth mentioning."

"So would you like to explain how a program that makes the computer crazy came from your office?" Tanya asked with unexpected heat.

Darin had the grace to look embarrassed. "I’m sorry, I was experimenting with some programs on my computer while I was online just before, and I must have somehow put this one on the Net. I didn’t know that it actually got anywhere. Will you accept my apologies?"

Wildwing made a timeout sign and gathered his teammates around. "Tanya, is his story legit?"

"It’s possible," she admitted. "Still, a guy doing stuff like that on his spare time is sort of dangerous. I mean, what if he turned to doing it full time?"

"That’s another problem for another day."

"I got an idea," Duke announced. "Since this guy gave us trouble, let’s get him ta handle that problem we’re havin’. He says his area’s contract law, so let’s get him ta straighten our contracts out. That way we’ll leave him ‘lone, and he won’t bother us ‘gain, ‘cause if he does, we’ll turn him in ta the cops."

"Sounds like you’ve done this before," Mallory said sarcastically. Duke turned a disturbingly intent gaze on her.

"What makes ya think I haven’t?"

Wildwing stepped in between Duke and Mallory to defuse the conflict that was rapidly forming. "Stop this. Right now. We don’t need this, and you both know it. Would you please act like adults? Because right now you’re acting like a couple of ducklings on the schoolyard."

"He’s got a good idea, though," Tanya mused. "I mean, we’re here and everything, we might as well ask? What do we have to lose?"

"Good point." They broke the huddle and turned back towards the lawyer. "Well, we’ll get off your case, but we’d like to give you another one. We’re having some legal trouble with the league, and we need a lawyer."

"And unless I miss my guess, you don’t know where to find one. I know Phil Palmfeather of old, and he couldn’t admit to finding an honest lawyer no matter how much you asked him. Don’t worry about it. I’ll cover you, and I’ll do it for free. I owe you that much at least. When do you need me? Here, here’s my card." Darin rummaged through his desk and yanked out a bent piece of cardboard. "Just call me when you need me, and I’ll come as quickly as I can."

Wildwing looked askance at the crumpled, rumpled card in his hand, but said nothing. He wasn’t about to turn down help that was so desperately needed. "Thanks, Mr. Andrews. We’ll probably call you pretty soon, actually. The attorneys for the league are coming back sometime today."

As they left the office, Olivia waved farewell with cheer that was so hearty that it was nauseating. What they didn’t see as the door swung closed was that she faded into nothingness a nanosecond after they were gone.

"So how’d it go, big bro?" Nosedive asked. "What did I miss out on?"

"Nothing much. The lawyer’s an amateur hacker, accidentally sent us one of his little experiments. He agreed to take care of our legal business in return for us staying off his case. And Mallory threatened an innocent secretary."

"In other words, business as usual, hunh?"

"Got it in one."

Meanwhile, over a power brunch, Cammy and Ray discussed things that weren’t necessarily related to their latest case. "Ray, we’ve worked together for years now, and somehow I never have gotten around to asking what got you into this job. I mean, I’ve never seen you watch a sporting event of any sort- so why NAHA?"

"They offer the best money for the best lawyers," Ray replied. "Would you please pass me the ketchup?" As Cammy gave him the bottle, he threw the question back at her. "What of you, Camille? Why did you join up with NAHA?"

The green-eyed woman smiled wistfully. "I grew up in a small town in Minnesota. Hockey there equals life. My room was decorated in Cheeselog colors, and I dreamed of being the first woman ever to play professional hockey. I even played for a while in our peewee league, but I was just too peewee to survive. But around that time I discovered that I liked law and hated seeing people break the league rules. The rest came naturally. To this day, I take comfort in my love of hockey; I know that I do what I do for a good reason. I love this work, Ray, more than I have loved anything else in life."

"Are you sure that’s the best thing, though?" he probed. "Sometimes becoming too involved in your work can make you lose your impartiality. You have to stay above all of that."

She shot him an angry look. "Ray, my only loyalties in this job are in the league and the rules. I know our role. We’re the ultimate behind-the-scenes referees. We make sure everyone plays by the rules as set by the league. We allow no one to get a jump on everyone else. While the refs keep the game clean on the ice, we keep it clean after the game finishes and before it even starts. I would never let anything get in the way of that."

He glanced at her a little strangely, but said nothing. They discussed inanities, small talk, social chatter, but sidestepped anything important. After the doubts and confessions that had been laid on that table, anything else would have been anticlimactic.

Still, something was bothering the young lawyer that she had never felt in five years on the job: guilt. She couldn’t understand its origin, which truly bothered her. She knew that the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim were breaking just about every rule in the book, up to and including the one that required all players to keep their jerseys tucked in during games. But one question was nagging her for the first time as counsel for NAHA. Was there a spirit to the rules that could overrule the letter of the law? Was there something that transcended the technicalities? As Cammy took a bite of her omelet, all this and more went through her mind, and suddenly she decided that she couldn’t tell anyone about her doubts, not even Ray. Especially not Ray! "Salt, please?" she requested.

"You guys are in a bigger shitload of trouble than anyone but Cammy León and Ray Thorian could give you," Darin said bluntly from his place at the conference table. "NAHA doesn’t get a lot of good lawyers, but when they do, they hold on to them for dear life, and I know that these two especially have gotten a lot of offers from big, well-known law firms all over the country. They’ve dug up every charge they could find against you. I have to tell you, it’s worse luck that it was those two assigned to you, because any other NAHA counselor wouldn’t know half the stuff they’re throwing at you." He took a large bite out of his hero and glared at the papers, as if that would make them something different.

"So are you telling us you can’t do anything?" Nosedive asked.

"Do I sound that stupid?" the attorney replied. "It just means that I have a lot more work on my hands than I originally thought. I think I know a thing or two that she won’t; the only question is if he will. They really do make a formidable pair: the young gun and the wily old veteran. I don’t know if you should consider it an honor or not, but these are the best they have to offer; NAHA must really want you bad." He paused and wiped some sauce off the table. "I’ve never known them to lose," he finally admitted. "Of course, they’ve never run up against me before, either."

"If ya really think ya that good, then what were ya doin’ down in the worst side’a town? A good lawyer should be able ta get a better place than that."

"I find that the best lawyers are needed by the worst people. And they can pay better, at least most of the time; I never ask where the money comes from. I’m probably one of the best, I just like to keep myself hidden." Darin scrambled around on the table, searching for something that he could not find. "Um, does anyone have a pencil?"

Tanya nodded and opened a compartment in her Omnitool. Nosedive immediately dove under the table. Wildwing rolled his eyes, got down on the floor, and asked, with the patience that only an older brother could muster, "Dive, why are you hiding down here?"

"Bro, whenever she opens that thing up, she ends up blowing something up, and I’m too young to get blown up. Besides, I had other plans that didn’t involve getting splattered against the nearest wall."

Tanya would have glared at him had they been on the same level. "I keep a pencil in one of the com-compart- sections in here! That’s all! See?" She handed Wildwing a mechanical pencil to show his younger brother. It was, of course, lavender, with a blue clip and button to reveal the lead. "It’s just a pencil, y’know, it doesn’t bite."

"Now that that’s all settled, would someone please hand me the pencil so I can get back to work on getting you guys out of major legal trouble?" Darin asked testily. "I know I’m doing this for free, but I still value my time." The pencil made its way around the table until it came to Darin’s hand. "Thank you." He started to scribble notes at an incredible pace, looking for all the world like he was just making random markings on the paper.

"Whoa, big bro, and I thought you had bad handwriting," Nosedive whispered, having found the courage to stop hiding under the table. "This guy makes you look like a penmanship lesson."

"Watch it, baby bro, you’re still in the penalty box in my book. Mallory told me what happened at the comics shop."

"It was an accident!"

"Yeah, but you always say that."

About two hours later, Cammy and Ray rejoined them, briefcases in hand, looking for all the world like the perfect images of attorneys from some television show; that was how perfectly put together they were. "I see you have found counsel," Ray observed. "May I inquire as to your name and area of law?"

"Certainly, Mr. Thorian. My name is Darin Andrews, and I specialize in contract law, with some sidetracks into real estate law; on occasion I have dabbled in most other areas of the legal profession? Why the sudden curiosity?"

"We wished to know if the team had acquired a competent lawyer, as they were sorely lacking one the last time that we were here. We would not wish the case to be struck down because the defendants were unable to exercise their Constitutional right to have an attorney. Of course, we can most certainly question if the defendants do in fact fall under the jurisdiction of the American legal system, but that may well come up at another time. One major issue is more than enough at a time." Amazingly enough, Cammy actually smiled.

Darin, Ray, and Cammy all opened up briefcases and let the battle begin. "Mr. Thorian, Miss León, have you heard of the case of Meyers vs. Portland Junior Basketball League?" Darin inquired of the two attorneys. "It was heard before the Supreme Court of New Hampshire several years ago; I state this only because I was unsure if you kept up with out-of-state news."

"We are fully cognizant of cases from all over the country, as they all have to do with our affairs," Ray replied coldly. "However, this one is one I have not heard of. Do you have the brief of it?"

"More than that, Mr. Thorian. I have the complete decision, which states that-" Darin riffled through his papers for a moment until he found one large sheaf tenuously held together by a large, vaguely broken clip. "It states that the rules must be interpreted so that they are perceived to include that which they do not explicitly forbid; in other words, they must be loosely constructed. The judge in that case was particularly passionate in his decision."

Ray held out his hand expectantly for the papers, which Darin gave him after a moment. Making the counselor wait most definitely made the other lawyer’s day. "As for your question about Miss Quickwing’s contract, I believe that you will find a complete copy of it, signed, sealed, and delivered, at your office in Los Angeles when you return to it. It was just faxed over a few minutes ago, and according to league rules, a facsimile- at least one of that nature- is sufficient." Darin leaned back in his chair, thoroughly enjoying the whole thing. "Miss León, as to your mention of the league minimum for rosters, that is predicated on the abilities of normal hockey players. This team has more than amply demonstrated that they are not ordinary hockey players- at least for this universe. There have been situations where they have come from battles straight into hockey games and won both. I would like to meet the human who could do that."

Ray looked ready to debate the point all day long. "Your arguments are-"

"Quite convincing enough for me," Cammy interrupted sweetly, not releasing her death grip on her associate’s arm. "I can see that whatever we can come up with, Mr. Andrews can counter. I see no objection to allowing the Mighty Ducks to continue playing as members of NAHA. Come on, Raymond, there are reports waiting at the office; Topeka is protesting the results of their last game against Portland because they claim that the Pioneers were all high. This should be an enjoyable experience, since I suspect that their goalie at least is handling some substances exotic to most hockey players." Amazingly enough, Cammy actually appeared to wink at Tanya and Mallory, and the redhead would later swear that she saw the human woman mouth the words ‘thank you’ before she left.

"Is it just me or did that female shark just save our tails from a fate worse than death?"

Darin looked curiously at Nosedive. "Not being able to play hockey is worse than death," the blond affirmed. "Man, hockey is life."

"Aptly put," Grin remarked.

"And from Nosedive, no less. I’m getting worried here. Seriously, I’ve never heard you say anything with a grain of common sense."

"Oh, yeah? What about when I heard about Phil getting brainwashed? And when I-"

"Outside the heat of battle," Mallory corrected herself. "Even you can come up with a good idea then."

"Thanks for all your help, Mr. Andrews," Wildwing said to Darin. The dark-haired man shrugged it off.

"Keep in touch. You never know when you’re going to need help." With that, Darin packed up his briefcase. "Oh, and before your shapely teammate over there throws a belated honesty fit, I told no lies. Miss Quickwing’s contract has been registered with the league. Everything is airtight. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really should be getting back to my office. I’m fairly certain that the two gentlemen whose appointment I have regretfully overshot happen to represent a very large concern that provides great amounts of money." The briefcase and the attorney both disappeared in what seemed an absurdly short amount of time.

"Whoa, girly-girl, I think you’ve just been flirted with. And he seems cooler than that kid Buzz…" Nosedive’s sentence was halted by Mallory chasing him out of the room at high speed with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

"And ta think I used ta worry ‘bout my life gettin’ borin’," Duke observed. "Now I gotta worry ‘bout it gettin’ int’restin’."

"Me, I just get glad that I never had a little brother," Tanya muttered in response, making sure Wildwing couldn’t hear her. "I think he would have been toast before he got as old as Nosedive."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I blow stuff up, and you know how Dive’s always in my lab… whether I want him there or not." She watched the clock for a minute or so. "Hmmm… four twenty-three… I should be able to get in an hour or so before I have to be back," she said to herself. She got up and walked out, her eyes somewhat vague and unfocused as she attempted to calculate precisely how much time she had before she had to be back for dinner. Whatever the answer was, she didn’t like it; there was the faintest suggestion of a frown on her face as she went out the door.

"Does anyone feel like a game or cards or something?" Wildwing asked in the eerie silence.

A little less than two hours later, Grin left to go pick up Andy; around that time Mallory and Nosedive, both slightly bruised but otherwise well, wandered into the rec room and turned the two-handed game of canasta into a team version. After a minute or so, Tanya arrived to take over Duke’s hand, because he was bound for the kitchen. The challenge of a guest had stimulated him, and he had something extra-special in mind.

Andy waited outside Serendip, looking calm and patient. That was only for the world to see, though. On the inside, she was as scared and as nervous as one woman could be. This was the night that could decide everything. One slipup here, one mistake, and she would lose him. I can’t afford to do that! Never before had she met anyone so willing to take her at face value; always before it was because of her family or her more unusual talents. While she wouldn’t have put it past him to have figured out part or even all of her secretive nature, he had made no outward sign of it. She was having a relationship… just like a normal woman. Well, okay, except for the part where he’s a hockey-playing duck from another dimension who happens to be more Zen than your average Buddhist, and the part where I’m… me, I’m having a normal relationship.

The thought brought a wisp of a smile to her face. Automatically, she listened for Teresa’s sarcastic inquiry, but then she recalled that she had sent her employee home in order to avoid any embarrassing incidents that might mar this special night.

For a moment she forgot that she was alone, forgot the dark memories that surfaced when there was no one around to insulate her from them. For just that brief slice of time, she was ordinary. It passed, and she was made even more acutely aware of what she was- and why she couldn’t tell him. It was too risky, too dangerous for him to know. She stared into the darkness that she always lived in and concentrated, trying to ignore the buzzing in her brain that told her she couldn’t do what she was trying to accomplish.

She heard him before she felt his presence; if there was a way to loom without being menacing, he had mastered it. "Well, hello," she purred, completely unaware that that was in fact the tone of her voice. "My dashing knight, you have arrived?"

"Of course, Andy, if that is how you want to describe it. Are you ready?"

"I’ve been ready ever since I met you. Shall we go then? And how tight would you like me to hold on?"

Only someone who didn’t know Andy and Grin would have said that there was a spark of mischief in the air as he replied, "As tightly as you need to, of course."

She gave a squeal of delight when he started the cycle and took off for the Pond. The thrumming and rumbling of the fine machine put some very interesting thoughts in Andy’s mind as she rode along with a wicked grin.

A few minutes later, they arrived. "You took me around the long way, didn’t you?" she accused him teasingly. "Teresa claims that the Pond is just across the way from the mall, and yet it took us a good amount of time to get here."

"Parking trouble," he said with a straight face- although it really didn’t matter. The dead serious tone of his voice almost fooled Andy- but the key word there was almost. He took her hand in his and led her down into the secret ways of the Pond.

Nosedive was watching the door with his usual curiosity. "YO, guys!" he yelled. "She’s here! Make it look like we’re halfway normal!"

The air hockey table vanished, along with the score pad that showed Tanya ahead of Duke by six goals. Mallory’s collection of weapons was reluctantly stashed away, over the redhead’s vociferous objections. Wildwing looked at the Mask for a long time and said, slowly and calmly, "If anyone suggests that I not wear this, things will get ugly. Okay?"

"Hey, anyone wanders inta the Pond, we gotta know if they’re legit or not, am I right? Way I see it, that thin’ is part’a ya stuff and ya gotta wear it no matta what."

"Incoming!" Nosedive shouted. The door swooshed open and Grin and Andy entered. The rest of the team stared at the tall young woman with her dark glasses and mysterious mien. "Now that girl is eldritch."

"She doesn’t look oblong," Mallory remarked.

Nosedive put a hand to his forehead. "No, no, no… it doesn’t mean oblong, it means… eerie, sort of, kind of like Borg’s Kingdom of Anaheim, ‘kay?" He turned away, muttering to himself. "Oy, these people!"

"So much for worrying about looking normal," Tanya added.

"He didn’t tell you?"

"Miss, all he told us is that your name is Andy and that you own and work at Serendip. He said that he didn’t want us to get any preconceptions about you before you came."

Andy smiled. "Smart man. Besides, he doesn’t know much more to tell. I’m not exactly in the habit of telling my entire life story in the first week of a relationship. It tends to make them run off screaming in complete and utter horror. But you must excuse my horrible manners. I’m Andy McConnell."

Sure, and it doesn’t snow in winter, too. This is the fastest fast one I’ve ever seen anyone try ta pull in my life. Duke would have expressed that opinion, were the young lady in question not connected to a teammate who was built like a wall. He happened to catch some glances from the rest of the team, and realized that everyone else harbored the same sort of suspicion that he did, even as they politely introduced themselves. When it came time for Mallory, Andy suddenly broke into a big smile. "I’ve heard a lot about you from Teresa- she’s a girl who works in my shop, totally obsessed with you guys- she is a huge fan of yours in particular, Mallory. She’ll totally freak out at this… if I decide to tell her, of course."

"I like the way you think, Andy," Nosedive interjected. "Especially since I think I know the girl."

"How would you have met her?"

Nosedive winked. "She’s the one that I was throwing the donut at when Mallory walked in. We hang at the same comic place."

"Interesting." As often happens during entertainment events, small talk ensued, and drinks appeared from out of nowhere. While it seemed impossible for alien ducks and a shopkeeper to find social chit-chat in common, it was actually possible; there must have been some sort of magic in the air, or so several ducks would later swear. She was friendly, willing to listen to any problems anyone would spill at her. If she wasn’t completely forthcoming about herself, or if she seemed to evade questions about her past and personal life… well, no one seemed to begrudge her that, for whatever reason. Perhaps it was because she seemed like such a nice woman, or maybe something about her suggested that they didn’t really want to know.

Duke noticed one thing that everyone else seemed to miss: that often her answer to a question was ‘It’s not something I want to talk about,’ or ‘You don’t want to know, trust me.’ She sounds more like my kind’a girl with a past like that, he thought. After all, how many times had he done the same thing, evading words the same way he used to dodge guards and alarms? His curiosity was piqued. "Who were ya ‘fore ya came here?" he asked her quietly.

The question made her start suddenly. "A strange thing to ask." Her voice grew old and distant. "And sometimes I find myself forgetting the answer. Let’s just say that if you can imagine it, I’ve done it, ‘kay? I don’t really like to talk about this stuff in public. It might attract unwarranted attention to you folks."

"Right, but one thin’: you ever hurt him, and ya goin’ ta see us in a less social light."

"Duke, if I ever hurt him, I will have to die, and I think that’s hurting myself seriously enough that I would never have to worry about seeing you in a less social light," Andy replied with iron conviction. I’ve had enough of hurting people… Duke didn’t look particularly convinced, but that completely eluded Andy’s observation. "Does that give you enough to work from?"

"Only if ya take ya glasses off," he replied unexpectedly.

She started. "That would be a very bad idea. For both of us, it would be a very bad idea. You don’t want to see this."

"How do ya know? Ya happen ta be talkin’ ta someone who’s been there, done it all ‘fore, and stole the T-shirt ta boot. Maybe I can get where ya happen ta be comin’ from better than anyone else in this room."

Everything came down to this moment. Andy felt herself balancing, doing a near-fatal dance on the sword’s edge. In her heart, she felt that a scene like this should be taking place in a room illuminated by firelight and made hazy by the smoke of a huge fireplace, with drinks being quaffed in vast quantities and a large fight about to break out in the background. Something as dramatic as this should not have been happening in the underground headquarters of hockey-playing alien ducks, in such futuristic surroundings. It just didn’t feel right, somehow. More to the point of what was important, it was a dangerous move to make.

Slowly, she made her decision, hating herself every second of the way. She had chosen the coward’s way out. Again. Oh, Andy, your mother would be spinning in her grave… if she were ever granted one! Slowly, she removed the dark glasses that hid her eyes, set them on a table, and pulled herself up to meet his gaze blankly.

He flinched. For the first time in many years, something actually made him recoil. The scarring was horrendous, and he could hardly see where her eyes were even supposed to be. Sardonically, she said, "I’m supposed to get it fixed tomorrow night, but I didn’t want to push him off again; he originally invited me for Thursday night. I didn’t think I was going to have to take these things off."

"How did it happen?"

"That’s none of your business!" she snapped furiously. She jammed the glasses back onto her face and walked away quickly before she could say something foolish and shortsighted. Nosedive tapped Duke on the shoulder.

"I think something’s burning in the kitchen," the young blond informed his teammate. "I was trying to get your attention the whole time, but I couldn’t get over to you. Sorry."

"The day I need ya ta help me outta somethin’ like that, gorillas will learn ta dance," Duke mock-growled in reply as he took off for the kitchen.

Fortunately for him- and the rest of the team for that matter- the recipe he had chosen for that night was one that a little extra cooking time wouldn’t do much harm to; in fact, it might even escape notice. Conversation continued to swirl through the room, ignoring Duke’s absence.

"Hey, come an’ get it, ‘cause it’s ready!" came the cry. Nosedive’s eyes lit up excitedly. Although sometimes his experimental mixtures caused acute indigestion, when they worked right, he was the best cook out of the whole bunch.

"Dare I ask what you planned for us?" Tanya asked dryly.

"Scared, Tani? Ya know I ain’t killed anyone yet with my cookin’. And I ain’t blown up the stove, either, unlike some ducks I could name."

Tanya rolled her eyes. "I misread one direction in the cookbook and you make it sound like I do this on a weekly basis. We do have company, y’know, we don’t want to, ah, scare her off us."

Duke shrugged. "’Less she comes here on Sunday night, she don’t got nothin’ ta fear on that front."

"You still didn’t answer the lady’s question, and I wouldn’t mind knowing either," Wildwing pointed out.

"Cajun-style fried chicken for those as can stand it, pork chops for the two’a ya, and spicy veggies for Grin," the chef replied. "Most’a the time, I would’a just done the chops, but I wanted ta try this out, just for the heck’a it."

"Man, do I feel bad for whoever’s on kitchen duty tonight," Nosedive murmured.

"Nah, he ain’t goin’ ta care. Ya know what he says ‘bout it- it clears his head and lets him focus his thoughts and all that other gibberish. I know I ain’t goin’ ta complain. Now, are ya all finished standin’ around like ya goin’ ta decorate the place? This stuff ain’t goin’ ta stay hot forever, ya know."

"Have you ever known us to take too long to get to the food?" Mallory asked him. "I didn’t think so."

The table that the seven of them gathered around seemed out of place in the modernistic setting. It was local, for one thing, not an artifact of Puckworld. It was large and round, made out of some sort of wood. Several years of fairly hard use had left their mark on its once smooth surface; now there were a couple of burns, two deep elbow indents where Grin usually settled down, a couple of char marks, and a small chunk missing from the edge. Someone, trying to give it a more homey touch, had put a vase of flowers in the center. It only made the table stand out even more jarringly. It seemed almost an affront to the gleaming technological marvel of the rest of the place.

It looks like our guarantee never to go home, Wildwing thought suddenly. Why had he never seen it in that light before? It seemed so obvious now, looking at it. Something that big and unwieldy could never fit onboard the Aerowing, yet he knew that his teammates would probably react negatively to discarding it. Oh, they would give it up if they absolutely had to, but honestly, would they have bought it had they thought they would lose it quickly? Whether they knew it or not, the team had subconsciously turned this place into a new home.

He shook his head to clear the dark thoughts from it. Too much weirdness going on, he decided. Can’t think straight. Okay, Wing, try to look like you’re paying attention, because you do have a guest, and drifting off into the land of nowhere is not going to go over well. It’s probably already hard enough for the two of them with the ultimate culture gap without her worrying about his teammates’ sanity. Heh, who actually would have thought it, though? The first one of us to fall in love on this planet is the last one any of us would ever have expected. Strange thing love is, isn’t it? Strange and wonderful and amazing and I think she’s trying to ask me something…

"Puckworld to Wildwing, Puckworld to Wildwing, please respond," Nosedive teased.

"Oh. Sorry, Dive, I got lost in thought."

"You should know the feeling," Mallory said tartly from across the table.

"Be nice," Wildwing tsk-tsked.

"Anyhoo, Andy was asking something kind of interesting, and I thought maybe you might want to tune in for this part of the conversation. She was talking about the most fascinating and important topics you can find."

"And that would be…"

"Love," Andy said matter-of-factly. "I thought it was a pretty straightforward question, but no one in here seems to want to talk about it, and I can’t for the life of me understand why. I just asked if anyone has found themselves loving anyone else while on this planet."

Wildwing nearly choked on his beakful. Swallowing quickly, he managed to gasp out, "I can understand why that would be a touchy question, Miss McConnell-"

"Andy," she interrupted him firmly.

"Andy, then. It just seems uncommonly personal to be asking the first time you meet someone. Besides, it might lead to some things getting said that folks don’t want to be said."

Andy shook her head. "There’s more than one kind of love out there, Wildwing. I know Nosedive is your brother- can you say you don’t love him?"

"Be careful, big bro, I’m right here," the younger brother said jokingly.

"Well, of course I love him, I made sure he got out of the camps back home. He’s my family." He’s all I have left, anyway.

"Right back at you, Wing," Nosedive said in complete seriousness. "Totally back at you."

Quietly, and very nervously, Tanya admitted, "Ah, I’ve, uh, sort of, well, started to, ah, think of you guys as, like, sort of family. I mean, we live in such close quarters and do things that family type of people do, you know? If it’s that kind of, um, love that Andy’s talking about, then, I would, um, have to say yeah, I found it here." Amazingly, she managed to avoid blushing too brightly, and her feathers hid the rest of the color that rushed to her face. No one could tell from looking at her that she was thinking about another kind of love.

"Yeah," Nosedive agreed, figuratively turning the word over as if he was tasting it, savoring the thought. "Yeah, she’s right."

"I hate to agree with Nosedive, but he’s right. For once," Mallory said grudgingly. "I didn’t want to think of you guys that way, because we’re supposed to be kicking some lizard tail and not getting all mushy. I can’t help it, though. You’re just like family to me."

"Aw, ain’t this touchin’?" Duke asked rhetorically. "Makes me want to get all teary-eyed. But if ya happen ta be expectin’ me ta join in the sobfest, I ain’t bitin’."

"Come on, you know you love us," Nosedive teased.

The absurdly comical way in which he said it brought out smiles from everyone at the table, and it elicited a peal of laughter from Andy. "Don’t push the man," she managed to say through her giggles.

"Why not?" Nosedive demanded in mock-impatience. "He’s had five years to figure out if he loves us or not, so why should he keep pushing us off?"

The words were meant as joke, but Andy took them too seriously. "Love is the hardest thing in any world to understand. Sometimes it doesn’t take as long as you’d expect it to, but then there are those who have to live an entire lifetime before they know what they’ve found."

"You speak as a woman who has walked that road."

"I have walked down both forks of the crossroads, dear one," the blind woman replied. "That is why I take this topic so seriously."

With that mysterious pronouncement, the table fell silent. The logical thing would have been to ask about the other fork of Andy’s crossroads, but everyone was waiting for someone else to put the question to her. The ducks concentrated hard on having dinner without suffering burns beyond the first degree. "Water! Need water!" someone rasped as anonymously as possible. It wasn’t Tanya, because she was too busy suffering a fit of sneezing while trying not to spray the table. Everyone else was fair game, though. Wildwing finally jumped up from his seat and dashed into the kitchen, returning moments later with a pitcher of water, which he plunked on the table.

"Glasses!" Mallory yelled. "There’s no glasses here!"

In jest, Nosedive reached for Tanya’s glasses, but the dirty look she gave him convinced him to lay off the pun, make haste into the kitchen, and bring out a septet of glasses for the water. In those few seconds he took, three of his teammates had already tried to gulp straight from the pitcher. It hadn’t gone well. There were scattered puddles all over the floor of the dinette, and Duke was already trying to mop up the table with his napkin. Nosedive sighed, deposited the glasses on a fairly dry patch of tabletop, and went back for the sponge. "It’s not my turn to be scullion," he complained half-heartedly.

"Then why are you doing it?" Mallory asked pointedly.

Somehow he couldn’t find a reply to that. Instead, he asked Duke, "What did you put on this stuff, insanity peppers? I can’t feel the inside of my beak!"

"If ya didn’t like it, then why did ya ask me for another piece?" the older duck countered.

Andy leaned close to Grin and whispered, "Is it always like this?"

"No. No two days can ever be alike."

"Is there always some sort of general insanity going on, I mean?"

"Sometimes it is even stranger."

Her smile was bright. "I’m glad to hear that. A dinner table without at least some strangeness is just too uncomfortable, too… Stepford."

"Andy, would you do us a really big favor?" Wildwing asked. "Please don’t ask any more deep questions. Things could get a bit messier. Some of my team-" and he looked fondly at Nosedive here- "get a little disconcerted when we get into deep philosophical discussions."

"Do not," Nosedive replied.

"Yeah, you do," Wildwing answered.

"Do NOT!"

In a gesture completely unrehearsed and absolutely simultaneous, Duke, Mallory, Tanya, and even Grin all rolled their eyes and started laughing as the two brothers continued their faux quarrel. Andy leaned back in her chair with an odd smile lingering on her face. I could get used to this. Somehow, I could get used to this. And I could come to love it, consider it normal, feel like it’s the routine. I know I could. But will I? And can I, when the time comes, make this decision? Not right now, don’t think about it right now, right now you have to be normal, or as ordinary as the blind proprietor of the local mystic shop can be when she’s dating a hockey-playing duck from another dimension. Oh yes, Andy, like you know about normal. Don’t even try to fool yourself, girl.

A brief intermission to clear the palate followed the spicy meal, which had been very well received. Dessert was put on the table, and consisted of a tray of cookies and some fresh fruit. The change of course seemed to indicate a change of conversation, and more traditional topics of small talk took over. Nothing remarkably unusual happened, just the strangeness that would be expected from a get-together of this nature. Finally, around ten, Andy rose to leave. "This has been several kinds of wonderful, but I do have places to be tomorrow."

"Hold on a sec and one of us will give you a ride to your place," Wildwing said.

"Thank you, but that’s not really necessary."

"I think it is. It’s not really a good idea for anyone to travel alone this late at night, especially this far from the center of the city, and especially not a young woman, and extra-especially not a young, attractive blind woman. We would never be able to forgive ourselves if something happened to you while you were trying to get home."

"And I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to one of you guys while you were keeping an eye on me. I’ve gone home by myself before, and the fact that I’m here to tell the tale bears out my contention. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine."

Grin stood up. "Andy, please allow me to escort you home."

Even then she looked like she might be willing to argue the point, but she gave up a few moments later. "You’re one of the few I would deem to be completely safe from any harm that might happen to befall," she said with a slight laugh. "Under your care, I am absolutely sure that nothing bad will ever happen to me."

"Well, that works out just fine, then. You know the drill." Grin nodded and went out the door, taking Andy’s arm as he did, so that they departed like a lady and a gentleman.

"So do we let him keep her?" Nosedive asked his older brother.

"She’s weird," Tanya declared. "Something about her, ah, sends chills up and down my spine when I try to look at her straight on."

"There’s somethin’ not right ‘bout her," Duke concurred. "She ain’t tellin’ us everythin’, and what she’s sayin’ ain’t all true, either. But it ain’t like she likes it, neither, it’s like she thinks she has ta keep us from findin’ out what she’s really ‘bout."

"She seems nice enough, though," Mallory protested.

"And let’s get down to the nitty-gritty here, big bro. The two of them have something really deep and important and cool. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he’s crazy in love with her, and if it’s actually obvious, you know it’s bad."

"Still, I don’t know if it’s safe for her to be here or not," Wildwing pointed out. "So far she doesn’t seem like trouble, but if what Duke’s saying is correct, she could be dangerous."

"She hasn’t caused anything yet," Tanya said. "She’s weird, but maybe that’s just because we don’t know her."

"And even if Grin somehow managed to fall for someone who might betray us, I think that six- correction, seven- ducks with superior technology and lots of know-how can take care of one young blind woman. I mean, we’ve been fighting Draggy to a stand-still for the last few years, and he’s a challenge."

"Most of the time," Mallory chuckled. "Sometimes it’s not even fun."

"It’s not supposed to be fun," Wildwing said sternly.

The good-natured wrangling continued for a while, until Grin came back from escorting Andy home. "I cannot understand why she thought she would be safe alone," he fretted. "There were a great many people seeking to cause harm lurking in the shadows."

"Did you do anything to any of them?" Nosedive asked quickly and curiously.

Grin refused to answer. Instead, he asked with surprising fervor, "Did you approve of Andy?"

"She passed the test. We like her well enough. And she doesn’t seem like trouble. Congratulations."

"Now that you’re all happy, Grinster, go do the dishes," Nosedive added. Somehow that didn’t even get on his big teammate’s nerves; silence was the only reply the blond received to his comment.

It was wearing on into the wee hours, and crimefighting, hockey-playing, world-saving ducks need all the rest they can get. Slowly but surely, they went off to their rooms, there to relax and fall asleep. It was the end of yet another strange Anaheim day.

Sweet Spot: And another key chapter winds up. This didn’t go as well as I would have liked, though. If anyone has any suggestions on how to improve it, especially the dinner scene, send them to me.

A note on leaguiness: you should notice that these Mighty Ducks don't play in the NHL. I decided that I didn't feel like messing up the real teams and rules and whatnot of the league. I also didn't feel like doing research. Any fun with rules is loosely based around the rules of the WNBA, mostly because those are the only set of pro rules that I have at my fingertips, literally. So I made up NAHA, populated it with the fictitious teams from the show (thanks, by the way, must go to Zelda, mighty webmistress of The Dragon's Den [members.fortunecity.com/zeldathedragon, hint hint] and talented writer on this very site, who patiently took notes on teams created in the show), added a couple of my own, and voila.

Coming up: What is Andy hiding? What happened in San José? And why the heck is Wildwing pondering the kitchen table? Stay tuned.

Shoutouts: Okay, I have to say thank you to Elizabeth from fifth period Spanish for loaning Tanya her mechanical pencil. Also, the joke about eldritch/oblong has been shamelessly stolen from the wonderful, amazing, fantastic, absolutely hilarious Discworld series of Terry Pratchett. In case you can’t tell, I’m highly recommending that anyone who enjoys good books read any Discworld they can get their hands on. If you aren’t near a bookstore or a decent library, there is some funny fic here on fanfiction.net. There will be more Disc references in the next two chapters, in order to hook you people into reading it.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters (although I wish I did). I don't make any money off them (although I wish I did). I just like 'em a lot. So please, don't sue me. BUT anyone strange you run across is mine, so don't get comfy with them.

Gosh darn it all, e-mail me! My address is Pinballinggrrl@yahoo.com. I like getting feedback! I save and treasure fanfic correspondence!