Alien
Thud.
"Luis, I got it!"
"All right, José! No one goes sneaking around our neighborhood!"
"No one or nothing you should have said, hermano."
"What do you mean?"
"I’ve never seen anything in these colors before, Luis. And that strange symbol on its head is just not normal."
"Sí, you’re right, hermano. Nothing from here wears anything like that uniform it’s got on. Where do you think it’s from?"
"No sé, Luis. I don’t know that it’s even human."
"Where could it be from? Certainly not around here. José, this is weird. This is weirder than weird."
"I think we should kill it. It doesn’t belong here. It’s not one of us, Luis."
"That’s not how we treat visitors, José. That’s just not right."
"It’s not human! What are you so worried about?"
Groan.
"Hey, who you calling not human?"
"Jesucristo, it’s talking! It’s intelligent!"
"Just because it talks doesn’t mean it’s intelligent, Luis."
"Hey, I resent that. Bad enough you whack me in the head, now you go and insult my brains?"
"I don’t think it’s what we thought it was, José. Aliens don’t speak English."
"You never know, hermanito. Its people might have been eavesdropping on us."
"Where did you get the absurd impression from that I’m an alien?"
"You’re blue and orange, you have the weirdest hat on your head, and you’re dressed in a uniform unlike anything I’ve ever seen. What else could you be?"
"Lost."
"I told you, Luis! ¡Dame el batón!"
"Whoa! I’m just a hopelessly lost Mets fan- obviously farther lost than I thought. I’m just trying to get back home!"
Pause.
"What’s a Metsfan? ¿José, sabes?"
"That must be the name of its species. I’ve never heard of them."
Gasp.
"You’re kidding me, right guys? You’ve never heard of my people? You don’t know about my guys?"
"Well, obviously."
"Tell us!"
"¡Cállate, Luis!"
"Why, José? ¿Te llamas Mike? Tell me about where you come from?"
"Well-" Thud.
"José, why did you do that?"
"You’re not supposed to know about these things, Luis. Come on, let’s go home and do our homework. The Bombers are already on- we’ll have to copy the first inning off Chuck."