Volume 2, Episode 3

Of Wolf and Man, Part 2

(A common enemy produces uncommon problems. Can one really defend murder even if such murder was done in the name of a just cause? Furthermore, can someone be known as a good person even if their acts create destruction? After all, this is a state where war is the answer to everything. Yet without restraint there can be no peace. When does one's acts become so extreme they are helping the government that they are protesting? This problem has been pondered by those seeking freedom dating back to John Adams defending the British soldiers after the Boston Massacre. In 2020 the stakes are higher. A common enemy is what keeps Britney beautiful on even her ugliest of bad hair days. It excuses neglect in the face of disaster, and pardons the government for its shortcomings stateside. Hatred for a common foe has long been the large set of breasts that a dictator could flash at the people and instantly pull their eyes towards them and away from economic, social and political hardship. It is this climate that has our heroes dangling between saving the country and being a large part of what helps Britney control it.

We see Whitey and Aaron Ames riding with the rest of New York's resistance movement. They are led by the Alaskan Wolfhound, as they pull into the abandoned amusement park which they are told is their home.)

Wolfhound: Weeee're heeeerreeee! (giggle) I just always leave my stuff by the fun house and good old Sister D comes out and takes it. Sometimes it's that girl in the red dress. I don't like her, she thinks she's Coach. (She spies 50 in the distance) Oh look, there's 50. She's so sweet, but, well, (whispers) she's a little bit slow.

Ames: A little bit? Compared to who?

Whitey: Easy, these people are dangerous.

Ames: Lord, that's Linda Wolfe! I remember her. She was supposed to be Roy and Dale's sideline reporter, but they couldn't kill her mind all the way. The last bit wiggled free before Britney could smother it. That was about the time I realized what I was doing and fled. There are others like her, all of them some kind of retarded- now, don't you look at me like that, boy, I mean it as a statement of fact. Linda was basically a five-year-old who thought she was playing with her Barbie and Ken set when she wrote for Roy and Dale. Then she snapped. Our operatives tried to bring her in, see if there was something that could help her, but she's damaged beyond being even able to speak.

Whitey: She looks kinda big for Channel 1's taste.

Ames: You really were out of it in China, weren't you? She was one of AIS' top agents in spreading the word about the system to other countries, but she couldn't break free of her sport or her job. They realized that the best way to silence rebel voices was to have Britney sing them to sleep, and then have them recite their American dreams and bring any of their followers into the fold. Worked quite well, I gotta say. I thought I was next. That's when I packed up AIS and booked it. Her madness was one reason I returned to New York. It gave me hope that I had a weapon to fight with, but she was too damaged to work.

Whitey: I take it this would be a good time to run?

Ames: No, she has distant memories. That's why she returned to her old coach, it is what little she can remember. She might recognize me. That was the hope when AIS tried to lure her in. At the time she was quite literally acting like an animal, even resorting to cannibalism.

Whitey: Well, if it didn't work before-

Ames: But she didn't see me. She knew me. She didn't know my operatives.

(The Wolfhound gleefully skips over, 50 in tow. 50 greets them with a ravenous stare, the look of a fresh meal landing on her doorstep.)

Wolfhound: Like, this is my friend 50. 50, my friends Aaron and Whitey. I'm sure you'll get along juuussst fine.

Ames: Linda?

(50 hears this and is taken back. She then shudders and walks over to one of the carnival games and picks up a sword.)

Wolfhound: Wow! Barely a few seconds and she's already showing you her toys! She must really like you!

Ames: Whitey?

Whitey: Yeah?

Ames: NOW we run!

(The two duck into one of the trailers. 50 can't seem to find them and goes searching for other prey.)

Ames: I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. All right, so she now makes the Gray Lady look sane!

Whitey: At least the Gray Lady made things quick!

(Ames looks out the window)

Ames: All clear. The wolfhound seems to be leading her away. Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Whitey: Good, let's go get the others, we'll need them.

(Meanwhile, Todd and the others reach the abandoned park. They approach from the basketball facility side.)

Dee: Here it is, my old practice gym. Ah, so many memories.

Helen: I wonder if they still have those nice soft weight benches I used to lay you on after practices. (devilish grin)

Dee: Helen! Not in front of the guys! (Blushes)

Helen: What? Half the time your teammates were doing the same thing.

Todd: C'mon, we gotta find these people. We can relive our past lives after we bring down the government.

Terrell: And these sickos?

Todd: We will see if they are with us or against us.

(They walk inside the building and see the old court; the left corner of the bleachers still has the blood stains from the massacre.)

Dee: I take it they still like showing off their conquests somehow. They always seemed creepy about that.

Todd: I can sense it, someone's coming. Get your guns out.

(Sure enough, the lovers walk in giggling.)

Helen: About 20 years too late to prove that rumor true.

Dee: From the smell I take it they've had no problem making up for lost time.

Terrell: Damn! Where's Penthouse when you need them with looks like that?

Todd: Careful. Be easy on them, we don't know where they stand.

(Todd walks up to the lovers.)

Sister D: Sorry, I never did boys.

New Yorker: And at least I avoided the chubby white boys.

Both: Bring your sister next time!

(Todd grumbles at this but relents)

Todd: I hear you're working against the government.

New Yorker: Something like that. Mainly I'm in it for the great sex. You'd be surprised how submissive young girls get when they think the devil has taken them over.

Sister D: Either that or they were in the closet the whole time. (winks)

Todd: But do you fight the government or help bolster its control? Murder only helps them.

New Yorker: You must be another one of those New York cops, asking about what we did to that soccer team. Well, we wanted to keep that cute little blonde, it was freakin' Tiff who hit her with the hammer.

Sister D: Now be fair, mi amor, her friend Jessie wasn't that bad once she grabbed your thigh. Gotta love the government. They think if you shake the hand of a gay person, you'll be compelled to leap into their arms. Not quite that bad, but, ya know, after we showed her the ropes...

New Yorker: I dunno, she seemed to tire out too quickly. Besides, her so-called friend beat her to death. (Sighs and points to where they have left the jersey they put on Jessie with some flowers on top.) Don't blame us for that! She was such a promising kid. Keeping recruits is so hard, I tell you.

(Todd is dumbfounded and Dee interjects)

Dee: Ummm, don't you think that MAYBE the government would like to see that a lesbian who believes in the dyke's plague is alive and well?

Sister D: Well, if it isn't Dee Lay. (She leers. Dee simmers.) Didn't expect to see you around these parts. I thought you lived up to your hair color and had a hubby in Idaho.

Dee: Excuse me? At least I didn't run a convent HOPE camp.

Sister D: What? Wouldn't you like to live in a building with nothing but 18-24 year old lesbians who will do anything you please? As long as it didn't leave the building and enough of them hooked up with guys, let's just say that celibacy is fun! I loved being Catholic.

(Dee grumbles and Helen naturally tries to wisecrack to the rescue.)

Helen: I'm just shocked your nose didn't get in the way.

New Yorker: If you were anyone other than Helen McCoy I would have shot you. What, you couldn't stand Russia? Too cold?

Helen: No, too hot! Those tennis queens, (whistles) more than I can handle!

Sister D: I think we made a shrine to one a while back. She got lost here, and man, was she tasty, especially her rack.

Helen: Never was a boob girl myself.

New Yorker: Nahhhhh, had to throw that part out- all plastic! I'm talking about her ribs, they cooked up really nice!

(Both Dee and Helen stare at each other, hoping they misheard them.)

Sister D: You should join us some time, we do have quite the killer recipe for human ribs.

(At this point they turn pale and Terrell joins in with his gun drawn.)

New Yorker: Boys! Always waving their long things at us! Not for you to be dinner! Naw, you're our friends! I'm sure some tasty blondie will stroll up here one of these days. They're so fun... not like we don't mind a boy or even a channel 9 nerd, but there's just something about devouring a mindless idiot with friends. See, she even made my wedding ring out of a finger. (She displays the ring- a human finger bone, wrapped in human hair.)

Sister D: The New York finger, no less. For my little New Yorker. (they kiss)

Terrell (whispering): Ummm, these bitches are freak-a-leak and not in a good way!

Dee: I know, but well, they will lead us to their leader if we can manage to be friendly without puking, or having to eat lunch with them.

Todd: She's right, their tactics are beyond unethical but we may salvage something.

(Suddenly, all the other Wolves burst in yelling. There's the dark one, the lady in red, 50, the Old Man who is their leader, and the Wolfhound)

Old Man: The government's coming!

Dark One: And the NYPD! They're still pissed about us shutting up that damned Jersey voodoo priestess.

New Yorker: You guys remember Dee, right? She may have been (shudders) powder blue, but she's one of us in spirit.

Old Man: Was she a ringer on track scholarship?

Dee: Do I LOOK like one?

Old Man: Ok, she'll do. We could use some backup.

(They head out the back, where there is a garage of vehicles they have taken from their victims.)

Dark One: They don't run too well. Damn useless American labor. They haven't built a car right since I built them with no brakes.

Terrell: Now that's a weird sista! Cute, but weird!

Dark One: Look at you! Man, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a lawyer in a past life with bullshit like that. You think you can play both sides with me?

Terrell: What lawyer uses street slang? What kinda ride is that anyway?

Dark One: Oh, that one doesn't start, we just use the battery as a portable grill. My design. I rewired the radio so the wires send current to the neck for quick and even cooking.

Terrell: Ummm, please say you're talking about cooking pork.

Dark One: Well, if you like to call the people pigs...

Terrell: I think I'm Jewish now.

(Todd hears this and snaps slightly)

Todd: Okay, this is fine, and bring the grill! Nothing better than roast soldier! After all, greens are healthy!

Dee (Whispering to Terrell): Nice going, Terrell. You had to mention something about Eva! Now he'll probably have us join these psychos!

Lady in Red: I see jeeps coming, three of them!

Todd: The government! C'mon, we have no time. Where's a central location for a showdown?

Lady in Red: Oh, I know where. Besides, there they can have some of my famous milkshakes.

Sister D (aside to Dee): Trust me, you don't want anything to do with those. Her milkshake brings all the boys to the graveyard.

Dee: I know about her poisonous little tricks. Don't you think I remember how she'd win her games? I heard the lies she told to get the best players arrested or sent to HOPE camps. I guess she's decided to take it to another level.

Sister D: Oh, I think the poison is the only good part. At least they die quickly, unless it's her mushroom salad, of course. (winks)

(The group moves to the center of the park, where the caravan from New York is there to greet them, at which point the government swoops in.)

Government Jeep: Come out with your hands up! All of you are under arrest for murder.

(Ames and Whitey are with the New Yorkers.)

Ames: They can't be serious. Only three jeeps and they want to arrest all of us? I ain't riding on someone's lap.

Whitey: Well, they won't have to worry about a fight from New York's Finest unless they try to steal the whiskey bottle.

Don Arturo: I knew this was a double cross! Look at his friends.

Whitey: Calm down! They don't want anything to do with those creeps either. They just need them to fight these government clowns.

Rey: And besides, ese, I think those chicas live la vida loca more than Todd!

Whitey: Let Todd make the first move. He still has a spell on the plebes.

(Todd steps forward.)

Todd: It's OK, men, we got 'em! You can load them up and take them to jail.

Officer: Todd Carter! It's a pleasure! Are these your men?

Helen: Excuse me?

Officer: You brought your wife? Well, you make a great team, or did you just want a picnic here?

Todd: Something like that. (Todd signals the wolves and the Old Man pounces the officer with the strength of a 20-year-old while 50 closes in on the Jeep, dodging gunfire. The lovers grab shotguns from a nearby stand and start firing. The New Yorkers see this and close in.)

Ames: Don't kill them, just arrest them! If you kill them you may end up a hero on the news! God knows, there are always cameras!

(50 sneaks around and pulls the gas can off the back of the Jeep and leaves a trail around the car. She smiles at the old man who quickly grabs the crotch of the officer he's fighting.)

Old Man: Ohhh, yes, you put up quite the fight, big boy!

Officer: Aaaahhhh!!! I've been violated by a faggot! Stand back, fiend! (He runs over to his jeep and lights up a cigarette, hoping that it will block the devil's energy from controlling his mind. He does not notice 50 running in the opposite direction as he lights up and drops the lit match on the ground. Naturally, there is a large explosion that causes everyone to duck.)

Old Man: I guess I DID turn him into a faggot. Not bad for someone who was married for 25 years. I still got it.

Todd: Man, Britney's fear tactics make it so that they are weaker than they realize. A far cry from my soldier days.

Old Man: Been that way since the Chinese War. With no anger, they used fear as their hook. That's what woke me up, I should know.

(The battle continues until the Wolves and the resistance take care of the rest of the officers. The New Yorkers then move in.)

O'Rourke: Now, laddies, we have to (hiccup) take ya in! Rape across enemy lines is a violation of the (hiccup) Demilitarivezed Zome! Now just come along and (Hiccup) be peazful, (giggle) and we can got back to our busyness at hand.

Old Man: Drunks! Can't trust em! Besides who'd drive ya?

Whitey: Oh, I've had enough. (Pulls out gun) It's about time you punks died. You are more help to the government, because you are nothing but true terrorists.

Old Man: One man's terrorist is another's first family. Didn't the Saudis teach you anything?

Todd: YOU!!!!

Whitey: You joining this fool? Thought so, you are both guilty enough.

(Todd shoots. Whitey ducks and the bullet harmlessly hits a car.)

Whitey: Thought you didn't miss!

Todd: You…killed…Eva!

Dee: Please! Stop it! We are in this together! Now can we not let these savages get away?

New Yorker: Hey! Who ya calling savages?

Dee: This has to end. You rape and torture, that's against even New York City law! Now turn yourselves in or I'll do it for you.

(The Wolves try to escape into the woods, but they encounter the news van secretly filming the scene. Inside a young male writer is scripting his reporter, a 20-year-old blonde just discovered and assigned to the news to see how the people will react to her looks. She is in the female reporter's uniform of a tight skirt with a blouse that could almost pass for a negligee.)

Writer: What a great victory! Todd Carter comes out of retirement and captures these savage beasts.

Reporter: (Giggle) Oooohhhh, savage beasts, scawwy.

Writer: But such a victory is not without loss. (reporter cries on cue) We lost 5 great soldiers to an unfortunate and inexplicable explosion. But it is with this great victory that America can once again be safe from terror.

Reporter: Safe from terror! YAY!

(Suddenly the Wolves break in and quickly stab the writer, but 50 guards the reporter who sits smiling, blissfully oblivious to any danger. The rest of the Wolves scratch their heads but then see 50's smile and understand. The Wolves then return to their gym, the reporter smiling blankly and standing perfectly still. 50 has the reporter's credential and gives it to Sister D, who is up in the sound booth with the PA mic, which has been replaced with the one from inside the truck.)

Sister D: You sure this will work? (50 nods, smiling.) All right then! (into mic) Brenda, Simon says shake your butt!

(Brenda does as told. The lovers laugh and belt out raunchier commands that Brenda gladly obeys. The old man interrupts.)

Old Man: C'mon, you idiots! The guys are still hunting for us, they're inside.

(Todd walks inside and sees the teasing and snaps.)

Todd: She's innocent! Her mind has been raped by Britney and they're using her as a sex doll!

Dee: NOW do you get it?

Ames: They're upstairs. Take care. An actress can respond to any command given through their programmed mic which they have hooked up. They can use her as a weapon.

(Todd thinks of this and shoots the young woman so she doesn't even have time to say ouch before she falls dead.)

Todd: Will that do, o creator?

Ames: Just fine. I don't know your problem, though.

(They find the PA booth and face off with the Wolves one last time. Todd shoots the old man first. Terrell takes out 50 before Todd can shoot her. Dee and Helen scuffle with the lovers before one is pushed out the window, and the other is stabbed in the back by Helen. Ames shoots the dark one as she charges up the stairs with her hammer. Whitey notices the lady in red nonchalantly strolling by with a matching umbrella, and as she readies herself to poke Todd with it he grabs her from behind.)

Todd: What the hell? She was just surrendering! There is no need to attack her.

Whitey: No need, eh?

(Whitey grabs the umbrella from the lady in red and jabs her with it. She tries to act like nothing happened, but her breathing grows labored. She turns away and falls dead before them.)

Whitey: Still don't need me?

Todd: Don't need that Channel 1 creep Ames!

Whitey: Suit yourself. I guess you don't wanna know how to destroy Britney from within.

Todd: Shut up.

Whitey: Well, if you ever do, see you in Hollywood.

(Back at headquarters, strange things are afoot.)

Television: And in some sad news, full state funerals were held for Roz Jennings and Linda Wolfe. They were both killed in the shootout involving the ferocious evildoers known as the Lone Wolves. Roz was working with the FBI in securing the area when she was shot by one of the fiends, while Linda was working behind the scenes in preparing the report for this very station. Our own Brenda was also killed in this horrible conflict. Thankfully the perpetrators are gone forever. However, this is a constant reminder on how terrorism affects our daily lives and we must always be READY!

Dee: What the HELL? They made two of the wolves into good guys?

Terrell: Horrible forest fires near Lindseyville, massive theft of computers from Storrs, a vigil in Hartford, an exodus from Bridgeport to Islip, a brutal serial killer on the loose in New Haven, and Mayor Kushner just reopened the boro of Yonkers to make room? Damn straight she's bending the truth! The whole state is going to the wolves! She's protecting her land. That area was ga-ga over those people. She's gotta pull out her finest miniskirt and flaunt it. Man, this ain't over over there! But don't tell Todd. He's still infatuated with actresses. In the good way, of course.