Episode 3

The First Mission

(The world today, January 25, 2020: a forgotten abyss of brainwashed America, and a world struggling in vain to keep its own from the talons of the merciless eagle. The struggle of the world to stay free of America has led to all sorts of time and money spent on supercomputers, interceptor satellites and dishes, and military defenses. The efforts of America to expand are little, while the manifest destiny of America is to gain the entire American supercontinent after the eradication of gays. They only want commercial domination of the rest of the planet, at least for now. American commercial messages have long since taken root worldwide. American non-Channel 1 programming is rampant worldwide and even the most anti-American foreigner buys their goods from Walter's, eats O'Reilly burgers, and drinks Oak Tree soft drinks. There are pirated signals and tapes of unfettered American programming, including channel 1. The world believes that this is intentionally smuggled into their land by American agents when pockets of people who they deem easily convertible are spotted. Others think that this is an effort by the people on their own who hear more than just the commercial messages embedded in the sitcoms and dramas that still permeate the airwaves. America is in competition and most foreigners only watch one or two programs. Those who go further are considered at risk by everyone in society. In some countries taping American programming is even punishable under anti-drug laws. Still, especially in poorer and more desperate countries like eastern Germany, Russia, Romania, South Africa, and Austria, there is the perfect mix of American desire to have these people immigrate and the economic conditions that weaken the mind and make the brainwashing process possible even without Britney not having all her tools at hand. These countries are seen as good farms for young new Americans. ELIAN is selective; he does not look for just every poor hand reaching out for a loaf of bread and a new life. Instead he looks for young men and women between the ages of 16-21, of good looks, great fitness, and American Anglo features. These people are coveted but instead of just reaching out to them, they let them earn the desire to become an American. They look at the youth through their embassies. Subtly, they track the youngsters' spending habits, associations, looks, and changes in behavior to separate those who are just the rebellious teenagers adopting American customs just to irk their parents from those who have submitted to Britney and her message. They look for the abandonment of their native language for English, an R-stage-like schedule, and a total change of look and dress to that of the American man or woman that age, right down to the hair color. When it becomes evident that these people are primed for further education than the average foreigner, embassy agents distribute tapes of channel 1, American music, and American movies to the pocket communities. It normally takes one year for the potential immigrants to fully convert to English, lose all understanding of their native language and rename themselves under an American name. When this happens, they report to the nearest embassy or consulate and take a test, in English, which tests how much they retained of the American values and message. Very few applicants fail, as they do not even bother or desire to apply unless they have been groomed to the D stage; as is many who do want to apply are jailed by the local police or killed by nationalist mafias. The applicants who pass are given visas to the nearest American colony, where they are educated in some of the finer details of America for two weeks while flights are arranged. They are then taken to a Naturalization camp. Separated by gender, these camps are a 30-day MACC session for whatever purpose the government needs the immigrants for. Many are trained to become replacement children for Americans who have lost their children {most common is the extinction of training by the natural child discovering their homosexuality} and are looking to adopt. They are given rhyming names so the government can keep track of the advance and decline of natural children. Others are put into service as a mate for those who have been unable to gain a mate by age 26. Any remainder are not turned away, as they would most likely awaken in their homeland with strong memories of being turned away, and pass this negativity on to others. Rather, they are turned into soldiers who make up a strong National Guard while the American-born soldiers fight overseas. Immigrants come from all countries, but the most common areas are in central Europe. Originally, there was only one ELIAN camp, Lindseyville, marked by three shimmering mirrored towers rising out of the wilderness of CT. Still the largest, it is still known by its old name when it was a women's basketball arena, clinic, hotel and theme park meant to immerse lesbians in sexually enticing heterosexual images and high-intensity Britney programming in the hopes of luring them into a normal lifestyle. This was abandoned when it was discovered that attendance skewed more male, and it wasn't the male strippers who danced in the halls attending the games. The other four are Liberty Center in the mountains of Pennsylvania, Freedom Junction in the middle of Virginia, Dedication Valley in the desert of California, and the Empowering Forest in the middle of Oregon. All are in secret, wilderness locations, unknown to the American people. All have their own airport where the flights arrive. All have luxurious conditions and look like an American playground for the new immigrants. The genders are separated, and each camp has two clusters of buildings, one on each side of the airport, one for men and one for women. These camps house close to 1 million immigrants every year and are often filled. We are taken to a flight's worth of women waiting in the Kosovo airport for their trip to Lindseyville. There are about 300 women, all between 17-20. All of them are white, with bright blonde hair, wearing tight blue jeans, red sneakers, tight pink T-shirts with various God-fearing sayings printed on them, and gold crosses around their necks. They are all chatting amongst themselves; their countries of origin vary and span the European area of influence, but all that has faded to blonde. We see a woman of Turkish descent discussing American music with a woman of Greek descent; an Israeli on her knees, hands clenched, professing her undying love for Jesus; a Swiss woman rushing for the plane, dropping her papers all over the floor, and picking them up in a disorganized pile hanging from all sections of her arms, boarding pass clenched in her teeth. To call these women by their former homes is really a misnomer, for they have been Americans for months before they even took the test. They all have American names, they all speak American English with very little trace of an accent, and they all share the American Christian faith. The plane is called for boarding with painstaking care. Each woman is called up by their American first name, and a short line forms for each chosen name. Each woman gets a set of headphones and a backpack containing their new possessions, and a claim check for one of the black bags containing generic clothes for their new lives. They go through the names, of which there are only 20 that are implanted in the minds of these immigrants. We go through the Abbies, the Ashleys, the Beckys, the Lindseys, and then the Stacys. About 10 women get up, gather their papers, and line up in front of the gate agent. The gate agent picks up the papers and hands them their packages. The girls go down the jetway in a dreamy state, almost bouncing off the walls as they adjust their sight downwards to the contents of their bags. We see one Stacy that the gate agent takes special interest in. Their papers contain their real names and the identities of their parents; processing is normally a formality, and very rarely is an immigrant sent back- none in the past 4 years as Britney's intensity has strengthened. The gate agent, however, has pulled aside this person for questioning, in a very humoring way.)

Gate Agent: So you're moving from Russia, Stacy?

Stacy: Yeah! I was freezing my ass off and the boys are even colder!

Gate Agent: I know what you mean. Isn't that why your mother came here a while back?

Stacy: Puh-leeze, she's so out there I think she lives on, like, Pluto! I don't have a CLUE where she's been other than on my ass.

(The gate agent smiles and writes down that she is dissociated to the point that she has lost memories of her mother's past.)

Gate Agent: Do you like basketball?

Stacy: Ewwwww, why would you think I would like that? I'm no hedonist pervert. Ick, lesbians! I'd rather be dead than in another woman's bed- better yet, make all those dykes dead.

(The gate agent grins with delight. This woman was seen as a seed for the future uprising of Russia, and now she's become an American through and through, more advanced than her peers. She ponders, then gives her a slide viewer. Could it be, the sheltered children of Russian emigrants, now possibly at the O stage? This wasn't a hacking attempt gone awry or a kidnapping. This happened naturally, through simple techniques. This is a great accomplishment.)

Gate Agent: Now I just want to give you a quick vision test, Stacy. We just need to know if you need glasses. Just look in here and tell me what you see, then flip the slide and repeat. There are four pictures.

Stacy: Sure! (She looks into the viewer. There is a picture of a cold steel statue of a basketball player standing atop an island.) Ahh, that's the Statue of Liberty in all her glory, her green dress welcoming me home. (Looks at the next picture, one of Mt. Rushmore in its previous state with our founding fathers and Teddy Roosevelt on it.) Ohhh, the mountain of heroes: George Bush, the Shepherd through the darkness of the post 9/11 era; Todd Carter, the killer of Bin Laden; Pete Richardson, the guardian of our freedom and liberty; and the one true leader, the commander in chief of all of us, our sole master, Jesus. (She flips to the next picture, of a bowl of French fries) Mmmmm, Freedom Fries, from O'Reilly's no less... (licks lips) I can almost taste them now. (The gate agent is impressed; even people on Channel 1 leave off the freedom and call them just plain fries. Stacy flips to the last slide of an overweight man with a large beer gut, shirtless and bald.) Ohhhh, there's a stud! MAN! I hope I can find a man like THAT in America!

Gate Agent: Don't worry, Stacy, a girl as pretty and as smart as you will be sure to land any man you want. Anyway, you get to fly first class. Welcome to America! Here's your carry-on. (She hands Stacy a pair of headphones and a bag, both with gold lettering marked "first class" on them.)

Stacy: WOW! Man, this is soooo cool!!

(The gate agent watches as Stacy skips off down the jetway and then writes down some notes. First class is for those who display some sort of elite quality, be it athletic ability, intelligence {as judged by the visa test}, above-normal sex appeal, or an advanced depth of conversion. These immigrants {always 30 to a planeload} are trained in a sub-level of the camp and are trained to work and report directly to the 500. These immigrants are more intensely trained and some even enter the N stage and become actors and actresses for Britney. We now see SkyDome. Bouchard is ready to give his first assignment.)

Bouchard: We have had plan after plan, idea after idea. Now we have a place for you to start. What do you know about ELIAN, Todd?

Todd: Enough to venture to guess that you aren't talking about a 3-year-old Cuban boy.

Bouchard: Very funny. ELIAN is the immigration system of this new reality. It is a place for rounding up people who have fallen under Britney's influence and bringing them here to place them into the community, either in the Army, to have them replace the lost, or to serve the government. At first it was a novelty, but now poverty overseas combined with a rise in Britney's strength has brought it to about a million people coming over the border with five placement camps.

Dee: Hey, that would make sense. That way they don't get pissy if their kid turns out to be gay and flees to New York, or break their training out of some tragedy.

Todd: This is funny in a sick way, but what do you want us to do?

Bouchard: These camps are extremely covert, but are a source of pride for the government. The government does not actively pursue immigrants. They just fall under on their own; when they reach one of the early stages, only then does the government supply them with unfettered tapes of the news and channel 1 to see who they can rope in. Now they can have the entire National Guard made out of immigrants, and still have enough for adoption and mate supply.

Terrell: Wait, you saying if you can't find a girl nowadays they just give you a Russian? Man, talk about giving me your tired, your poor, your fucking hot!

Helen: You want a joint? Or should we let you watch Channel 1 for a day so you can shack up with a tennis queen?

Terrell: Shut up! I'll leave the blondes to Britney, thank you very much. (laughs)

Helen: Why? I didn't. (kisses Dee)

Todd: Focus! So, Bouchard, I take it you want me to show the government by breaking some immigrants who are just getting fully chained and causing a mess.

Dee: Hey! These people are people too! I have a former teammate whose daughter just went over the wall. They don't even know their names anymore. Liberating these camps would be a big blow to Britney and would be a good start, I think.

Todd: What's her name?

Dee: It won't help, she goes by an American name like everyone else and looks blonde like everyone else.

Todd: I'll just have to try to at least cause enough panic that they regress or go home. Can't free one, gotta free 'em all.

Bouchard: The focus is to just disrupt things, so do not get so wrapped up in the human element.

Todd: I'm a soldier, I know all about not getting wrapped up in humanity. That's why I try so hard to remember the humanity.

Bouchard: I will try to remember that. Now the largest and oldest camp, Lindseyville, is in CT. General Lane runs the show. There are two wings, one for men and one for women, 5 miles from each other. Shall I venture to guess which gender you want to liberate first?

Terrell: Yeah, Jesus here is always the sucker for women's lib, ain't he?

Todd: General Lane? My God, it couldn't be... Is that a woman?

Bouchard: Oui. (looks at his notes) Kelly Lane, born in New York-

(Todd cuts him off) Todd: But a red state zombie since the Bush days. Kelly Lane, soccer mom. She had issues that kept her from being an athlete, but she was one hell of a CIA agent, and became one of only 4 women to go through MACC training. It would be my pleasure to put her under.

Bouchard: She was in your unit?

Todd: She went through the same brain-fucking, and had the same targets, but I wouldn't call anyone in there a unit, just a bunch of robots programmed to act however. She didn't need a lot of programming though- not much brain to program. Guess that's why she's the only one of the dogs who didn't get killed or snap. Leave it to the bitch to never go away.

Bouchard: I take this as acceptance.

Todd: I can clout my way in. Get me a uniform, and one for Terrell. I guess it's time to rejoin the army.

(And so the scene is set. We are taken to Lindseyville, a backwoods of the wilderness, its three glass towers sticking out like sore thumbs. Such is life here; at one time this was a bustling casino, now it is the entry point for about 100,000 immigrants a year. It is a glorified MACC camp now, still with all the bright lights of a casino, but training stations, television booths and lecture halls replace the slots, tables, and showgirls. There is an arena where the immigrants can be addressed en masse. A mall dividing the two ends of the building sells true American wares, allowing for the women to be dressed in the finest. We see the plane land with 300 more women; they all get their bags and in unison march to the hotel desk and get to their bunks, almost like a rolling blonde glob slithering forward. We see a limo pull up at the gate, Terrell at the wheel. The guard stops them.)

Guard: Secure area! The highway is 2 miles to the east.

Terrell: Look in the back. This camp has a special guest speaker.

Guard: There aren't any speakers scheduled for…TODD CARTER!

Terrell: You really think that we would advertise this? Word would get out and soldiers would outnumber the immigrants we are welcoming.

Guard: Gotcha Sarge! Todd, it's an honor!

Todd: The pleasure is mine, you do a good job keeping the beacon of freedom bright for these newcomers. We are the land of opportunity, you keep it that way.

(The limo pulls forward to be greeted by a thin woman in her late 30s who still has the fitness to turn heads. She is in a dark green uniform, her general's stars shining as bright as her smile. She becomes as giddy as the immigrants she is training when the door opens and Todd steps out.)

Todd: General Lane, it's been a long time.

Kelly: Call me Kelly, Todd. I can't believe you made it for my little old daughters. Oh my, this is going to be so cool!

Todd: Yes, This is my assistant, Sgt. Terrell Wilson. Treat him like you would me.

Kelly: Well, in most aspects, I will. Some things only we dogs can share.

Todd: For not having any memories, we share so many memories.

Kelly: I remember flashes and blurs of Iraq. As covert intelligence I was your eyes and you were my fists. We were a good pair. Were there any others that are still around?

Todd: Most are dead. Me, I am a shadow. I lurk around the asylum state, making sure that the crazy stay away from the good people. Keep the tourism dollars rolling into the city. But I'm glad to get the weekend to speak to your girls.

Kelly: It'll be like the reuniting of the Pious Pests!

Todd: Or the Beatles.

Kelly: Oh, you always had the last word. I always dreamed that when you cut off Bin Laden's head, you first asked if you could shave his beard first. You were always one with a joke.

Todd: Very funny. You know I never beheaded the guy, just brought the body forth, then was on cloud nine for a week.

Kelly: I know, they gave us all a good long reward. That's why I'm here, training immigrant women how to be a good blonde.

Todd: Those who don't do…teach?

(Kelly laughs)

Kelly: Something like that! So c'mon in! Lemme show you round.

(They enter the majestic building. It still is a place of luxury. We see a hall of training screens, with young women staring at them entranced. They lose any trace of accents and pick up the drawls of the south and learn the fine points of being American.)

Kelly: These are the teenagers. We have about 200 families that need new daughters shortly. Mass regression, it's a minor thing, a lot less than it used to be.

Todd: Lemme guess, their real daughters like other daughters.

Kelly: Yes, we will be using homosexual execution as a good practice for the military wing. We should be getting our first bus of the condemned in a week. I heard you were in on bringing in Dee Clay.

Todd: Woodstock! Damn drugged-out hippies ambushed me, killed my partner and whisked that dyke over the border. I had a lil fire in the hole for those idiots on my way in.

Kelly: Ahhh, yes, fire in the hole! I bet you must be still floating after blowing up a hole like that.

Todd: Why would I need a blonde floating around my vision when I got hundreds of blondes floating in my face for real!

Kelly: (Laughs) Oh man, well, these girls try hard. If you'd like I'll take you to the mate room.

Todd: I wouldn't want to get the girls' hopes up, it may stunt their training, grooming them to melt over fat and ugly men and have a good-looking guy like me show up. Gotta keep them trained.

Kelly: (Snorts and chortles) Oh man, you are so right! But maybe to be the guy they see when they see their husband.

Todd: Not even the actresses could be that distorted. (winks)

Kelly: HEY! Don't sell my work short. Anyway, here is my mall. In there is the arena where you will be giving your speech. Oh, wait. (looks over at a blonde comparing a white T-shirt with a pink T-shirt) Lisa, honey, no white after Labor Day.

(The woman nods and buys the pink T-shirt)

Kelly: Those British... their culture is so easily erased, but their fashion sense, ugh, it takes them weeks to get it right.

Todd: You're a busy girl, I see.

Kelly: Well, here's the bookstore. If you're here to speak, I normally have guests start here, signing propaganda letters as gifts as they go off to their new homes.

Todd: Sure.

Kelly: I'll call those that are going on the next flight. There are about 300. Back in a minute.

Terrell: If I didn't know better, I'd think she was hot for you.

Todd: I got the same feeling. Something weird is up, but she doesn't suspect a thing so it's okay.

Terrell: Did you have a fling in the Army or something?

Todd: That's the weird thing, the way MACC worked, you could barely see anything you were so focused. Anyway, get to the commissary, make some of your brownies. You're my aide, so you won't get any trouble- if you do, they have to go through me.

Terrell: Man, you're serious about trying to wake up these girls. This is risky.

Todd: Get them for my speech tomorrow. Ashlee doesn't apply here.

Terrell: What about your girl?

Todd: I'll deal with her.

Terrell: All right, Jesus. Say, if you see a hot fudge sundae in that mate group, save her for a brother!

Todd: A little young! (laughs)

(In walks in a line of 300 blonde girls, ready to leave, bags packed, books in hand. All go into a state of bliss when they see Todd sitting at the table. Kelly walks over to Todd. She stands behind him, her own eyes half closed at his presence. She smiles at him as she moves in a rack of Bibles for Todd to sign.)

Kelly: Here you go, Todd.

Todd: Ok, umm, what's your name?

(A young woman in blue jeans and a tight green sweater, her hair pulled back, starts the line.)

Woman: Howdy, y'all were my heroes when ya kicked the ass of that Bin Laden boy, now, ya hear?

Todd: How should I make this out?

Woman (with a deep drawl): Hannah from Savannah!

(Todd signs and looks back at Kelly who is just staring at him. He thinks to himself, "man they even drawl" as he goes through the line of new Americans. Afterwards, he greets the new arrivals with the same signing session, and one catches his attention.)

Stacy (breathing heavily): Todd Carter! My God! What an….HONOR!

Todd: Thank you, I'm honored by you being here too. Welcome to America.

Stacy: Thank you, I'm Stacy. I've heard so much about you.

Todd: We'll meet later, I'm sure.

(Todd takes a mental picture of her. Her slightly unusual height and a winning smile that seems more natural than her programming would allow lets him know that this may be the person Dee was talking about. He signs the rest, then Kelly walks over to him.)

Kelly: Hey there, wanna join me for dinner, catch up on the whole military memories thing? We still have high-class restaurants here. Not all these girls are the best at their pleasurable visions yet, so some of the newbies have to be rewarded the old-fashioned way. Besides, general's gotta eat too.

Todd: Sure, got steak?

Kelly: Meet you at the steakhouse in 10 minutes.

(Todd runs over to the main buffet and sees Terrell in the hallway, alone.)

Terrell: Jesus! Aaaaaaright, you got a date, and I take it this Mary isn't a virgin.

Todd: Good to see gossip runs just as rampant among the robots as it does in New York.

Terrell: Nahh, that girl was just by and called in her order in advance. I didn't know you liked your steak well done!

Todd: I DON'T! Any trouble?

Terrell: Nope. Hell, once Kelly saw me helping the staff with the brownies, she ordered double for tomorrow. Man, you got that dame more than the Channel 1 fools.

Todd: This is weird, she's still a MACC soldier. By design they are supposed to live inside themselves.

Terrell: Maybe Britney actually loosened her reins instead of tightening them.

Todd: I doubt it.

(Todd goes to his meeting with Kelly. She has changed into a sparkling pink gown that goes to the floor, while Todd is in full dress uniform.)

Todd: You look very... ungenerallike.

Kelly: Thanks, I really feel like I killed 500 people or something. To have you come back, someone must be rewarding me.

Todd: You do a good job with these girls. You would never know that Hannah wasn't from Savannah.

Kelly: Well, she was always from Georgia! (winks) She actually took a week longer to train, despite passing all the tests. Her English was lacking, it was so formal!

Todd: You were always a teacher first. I never knew why you joined the dogs.

Kelly: I still wanted to be a hero, an athlete... I won a gold medal then, splat, nothing! So when I heard about the CIA, I joined, and when I heard about the elite, I tried out, and I made it.

Todd: I was just a soldier who wanted to be a better soldier.

Kelly: Man, did it work! You were always just standing there, so strong, even after a kill. You just stood there, no falling over or falling asleep, just taking your reward by staring there. You don't think I noticed, but I did.

(Todd is now really confused; his memory of the war and the dogs is a blur of wild images of the enemy and the intimate visions of Dee Clay that followed every battle or major violent act, and this woman has detailed memories of her service.)

Todd: I don't know. It all went so fast. I was just a soldier one day, the American Jesus Christ the next. I hardly even know what Iraq looked like.

Kelly: Oh, dry, mighty. You were the white knight destroying all the terrorists, while little old me was barking into a telephone telling everyone where to go. It was great. You were great. You're still great.

(Todd is really confused now, because all the dogs were covert ground troops, even the CIA agents.)

Todd: You had some good kills though, bailed my ass out a few times.

Kelly: I know, and then we would dance all night. Mmm, you always were good at this.

(Todd can barely contain himself. Talk about a flaw of the early MACC days- HE was her reward icon, even before he captured Bin Laden! He thinks a little; if they weren't totally brainwashed into killing robots, they most likely would have dated, maybe even married. He says nothing, though. This is a great opportunity, however, and a great setup.)

Todd: That was great, Kelly, and this is a nice camp you run. Maybe I should get off the streets and settle down on the camp circuit.

Kelly: Really! Man, that would be great. It's been so long.

Todd: It has.

Kelly: Join me upstairs in a few minutes? (Hands him the key to her apartment)

Todd: Sure, Kelly.

(He goes up to her room, a luxurious apartment 10 floors above any quarters for the camp attendees. Scenes of her war career, her soccer career, and her career running the camp decorate the walls. She walks in wearing her old soccer uniform as candles burn brightly throughout the room. Todd is still in his dress uniform, but also wearing white gloves.)

Kelly: Welcome back, how are you now? (she smiles coyly)

Todd: Umm, you look so young with that soccer uniform.

Kelly: Thank you! You look so heroic. Can I ask you a question?

Todd: What, Kelly?

Kelly: When you killed someone, what did you dream about afterwards?

Todd: Don't you mean who?

Kelly: Yeah, who?

Todd: Dee Clay…

Kelly: What?

(Todd trips Kelly on her right leg, which was injured during the war, but she just laughs.)

Kelly: How did you know how much I love that?

(Todd can't believe it. He's dumbfounded, but he pulls out his gun anyway.)

Todd: It's not what you expected, but you finally get to go down on me, bitch.

(Kelly's face just lights up and she invites him to stick the gun in her mouth and pull the trigger. As she falls dead, he sticks the gun in her hand to make it look like a suicide then leaves.)

Todd: Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

(Todd then scratches his head. He wonders what happened. It's like she didn't sense any danger, feel any pain, or sense any tension. She was a soldier, just like him, trained to sense danger well before almost anyone could even begin to understand, yet she was fully passive. Then he remembered the women at the book signing: they knew him by sight despite his aging and weight gain, but why? Agent Moore did not even blink or notice his dress in New York- again, why? All the past 10 years he wondered how the people would melt at the mere sight of him. He feels that he has found something that will help his effort greatly, but he doesn't know what it is. He writes down these observations and prepares them for when he returns to base. He meets Terrell in his room.)

Todd: Kelly's dead. I made it look like a suicide. Britney's gonna have fun explaining that one; she was pretty popular too, and suicide is a concept no one can grasp outside of New York.

Terrell: I got the brownies ready. I take it you're running this camp now.

Todd: Yeah. Call Whitey. I noticed that the machines run on a different mainframe, the old MACC setup. No promises but I think Whitey can work this. My speech should send some home tomorrow, so get some buses ready. They won't raid the place; it would draw too much suspicion and immigrants are a dime a dozen. Besides, they are so cocky they'll just think that in a week they'll flock back anyway.

Terrell: Hot damn, so the bitch is arrogant as well as an asshole.

Todd: This is a good thing, Terrell, arrogance is what keeps empires in check.

Terrell: Really?

Todd: If it weren't for arrogance, we'd still be feeding Christians to the lions.

Terrell: With all due respect, I feel like doing that a lot these days.

Todd: I'll set you up on a date with the Gray Lady, and you can go on a spree together.

Terrell: Ahhhhh! I'm not that mad! I'm cool with doing things slowly. How'd you kill that lady anyway? You go praying mantis on her or what?

Todd: Sorta. Apparently they never told her that there is no such thing as a .38 caliber penis.

Terrell: Man, that's your problem! You should have gotten her while the getting was good then snuffed her when she was asleep or something. You soldiers have no sense of timing.

Todd: Except you don't know where she's been, and I do. (winks)

Terrell: Ohhh, she was programmed to be the programmer's secretary?

Todd: No, but she was for infiltration of terrorist cells. You take the hint.

Terrell: Ohhh... I take it, I take it. I ain't that stoned, or desperate.

Todd: Good! I need ya here, brother.

Terrell: Besides, no one disturbs me when I make brownies. They could turn Britney into Beyoncé and I still wouldn't give up my pot.

Todd: Good. Now, my speech is tomorrow, so get enough brownies ready. I'll tell the crew the general is sick. They'll find her and, well, suicide is such a shocker to them that I bet it'll take up till the 15th man to come back down here with the news. The others would either go mad or pass out or both.

Terrell: Suicide?

Todd: Yeah, sucks how the two look so similar.

Terrell: Ohhh I get it! (snickers)

Todd: Now let's rest up, tomorrow will be chaotic.

(Morning arrives, and amazingly no one seems to notice the absence of the commander. The subordinate officers seem to be running the show as they always do. The trainees all wake up at 7 AM and go through their morning breakfast ritual before becoming glued to their favorite training screen. Todd gets up with Terrell at 7, sees this, and laughs. He sees this to his advantage. He sets up for his speech in the arena, a large cavernous place for having only 4000 trainees and staff. The arena was once a mecca for women's sports before Britney. Then the government stopped all gambling, but kept the arena open thinking the large spaces around the building could serve well for converting gays to a wholesome lifestyle. Now it's the main lecture hall for the camp, hosting one guest speaker a month. He steps outside for a moment and realizes how far gone these women are. The planeload that arrived yesterday are now being born-again baptized in the giant fountain in front of the arena. He looks again at Stacy as she waits in line and thinks, "They are even born again; if they even woke up a little, would they know where to go home? Would they care?" Then he knows what he has to do. He goes back to his speech and rewrites the opening, not caring if it's too bold or if the guards sense what he's doing. He's going to say what he has to say. The crowd files in, each getting one of Terrell's brownies as they walk in; even the guards have some and look more stoned than the immigrants. Todd smiles, thinking this may be easier than it looks. He takes the podium with massive applause and begins his speech.)

Todd: Bienvenue, Shalom, Bienvenidos, Bonna Sera, Wilkommen, hello to all of you. You may be wondering now, why did you come to America? Why did you abandon your culture, your heritage, your language, your being, hell, even your physical appearance, to come to America? You may ask yourself, who is this person I want to be, "Hannah from Savannah" or "Stacy from Macy" or whatever you now call yourselves? Whatever happened to Anastasia, or Leah, or Rosalita, or Marie? Whatever happened to you to make you American, to make you undergo the training, the brutal and life-changing training that you must undergo to make it in this country- training that erases your memories, your language, your culture, and even in some cases your faith as well. Well, I know the answer to this, an answer you may not understand, but is the true answer. Hundreds of years ago, America was a land where people left everything behind to start anew. And in turn they made America something more than it was, more than just a rebellious country on a large tract of land with its cities on the hill and feet on the ground. They made it a cultural center that had never been seen before and never will be seen again! A center where Italian-Americans brought skills that taught the Irish-Americans that taught the Chinese-Americans that taught everyone in this land a distinct culture, that of a nation of many cultures. It is in the spirit of Ellis Island, of the millions of Americans today that come from a foreign heritage, that you come here. Now I ask again, what are you? Are you that blonde, Christian, American? Or is something left of the country you came from? This is what the training is about. This is what you must learn before you leave this camp. America is the land of opportunity, and the opportunity has never been greater to leave it if you do not like what you see here. So I implore all of you to take today to make America better by seeing what it truly means to be an American before you take another step further.

(Applause)

Guard: That was beautiful, sir! How you recalled your service and encouraged their training, it was beautiful!

(Todd is confused. Does Ashlee work here too?)

Terrell: Whitey hacked the training computers to display your propaganda. You were right, they did run on a separate server, internal to the building. I don't even think the morons have a clue what is going on here!

Todd: Terrell, that guard heard a totally different speech.

Terrell: I heard you loud and clear, so I don't think Ashlee is lurking around.

Todd: There is stuff here that isn't making sense. These women are being trained to replace teenagers who have died or rebelled beyond repair. The families don't even realize that this is not the same child who crawled out of the mother's womb. Kelly really thought I was going to have sex with her when I pulled my gun. Some of these immigrants knew me from sight without being told who I was or what I did. The people in the cars we tortured, they all saw me as a heroic figure despite my appearance totally changing. It's like they are seeing and hearing a different world, the world they want to see, that they are at peace in, the one that keeps them safe from harsh reality.

Terrell: That's whack, even for Britney!

Todd: It's been 12 years, so maybe all the brainwashing she's done has caused the public to fall into a mass hallucination. Think about it. If someone you know in New York wakes up one day spouting some Christian nonsense, what do you do?

Terrell: You give them medicine. If they really have blondie on the brain, LSD.

Todd: What does LSD do?

Terrell: It gives you an altered…man! You really thinking that? My God, that's crazy!

Todd: The pattern fits. Five years ago I wasn't half as able to do what I can do now. It fits the programming I got as a soldier where I saw two things, humans and dogs. I always shot the dogs and never shot the humans. When the dogs were out of the way, and enough were dead, there was Dee, always spinning a basketball and wearing a way too skimpy basketball uniform. If they could get me to think in that crazyworld for all those years, the same thing every day, the same warped thoughts, this is hardly impossible.

Terrell: The dogs were Arabs, right?

Todd: Right.

Terrell: Hot DAMN! That's crazy! So you're saying that that guy over there doesn't see you, he sees some guy in a military uniform carrying the head of Bin Laden?

Todd: I'm afraid so.

Terrell: That's just FREAKED!

Todd: I knew there was distortion, but man, not on this level. This is just crazed, but possible, it happened to me.

Terrell: Well, if they are all like you now, all we need to do is get Dee and Helen to do a girl-girl show, get it on tape, circulate the tape, and all will be saved. Shouldn't be hard- hell, we could break Britney in two days!

Todd: I think things have improved a LITTLE since then, that's why the selective icons. The same thing that snapped me is the same thing that killed Kelly, the icons were so personal that they can be broken by an appearance by said icon in the flesh. I thought Dee loved me. I thought the Dee I saw was a real person, hell, was the person I was going to propose to when I finished my tour. Kelly thought we were separated lovers from the days of the battlefield, where after the battle we would put on our Sunday best and dance over the bodies of the dead until dawn. This is all very confusing. I gotta have Whitey check it out.

Terrell: C'mon. Let's see what hell's broken loose inside.

(They walk inside and they hear a mishmash of languages, frantic calls for parents, and fights between people who don't like each other.)

Terrell: Man! Any better and- (The Greek woman pushes the Turkish woman into the born-again pool. The guards are trying their best to restore order but have no clue why it's happening and there's nothing they can do.) Now that did it, I guess that Turk is born again, again.

Todd: Get that Greek away from her before she ends up dead again. (winks)

Terrell: IT WAS JUST A LITTLE POT! (Laughs maniacally as he helps the Turk out of the water.)

(Todd gets busy at the staff, shooing them away from the immigrants, explaining that there was a system failure and they better get them to the nearest colony.)

Terrell: Where are the damn buses? We gotta get them out to a boat to Bermuda as soon as possible!

Todd: This looks like the work of hackers. From the lack of control in these girls, most likely those idiot Russians bombing another satellite, not knowing it controlled this camp. (He sighs theatrically.) I guess NASA needs something to do every now and then.

Guard: Okay. I will line them out in front. Can you notify the 500?

Todd: Oh, I will.

(The buses arrive. The guards actually help Todd and Terrell load the women onto them where they are whisked away to Canada. The 500 see this and react.)

500 Member: I KNEW we should have killed him!

O'Reilly: You SEE how helpless those soldiers are to deal with him!

500 Member: More reason to replace him with a blank image.

O'Reilly: No one knew about ELIAN, we have other camps to make our deliveries. Besides they'll be back. The deprogramming element he used was only temporary, a combination of a state of shock and some drugs. In a week or two 75% will be back in Kosovo, as blonde as ever, as willing to learn as ever.

500 Member: What about General Lane?

O'Reilly: I think she is dead. We'll search tomorrow. He likely made it look like a suicide to try to shock the public, but they will never know. They will all think she had a heart attack because her generous heart was too big for her own health and she died peacefully in her sleep without any pain.

500 Member: But she really killed herself?

O'Reilly: No, Todd murdered her. I don't think she put up a soldier's fight. She was blinded by him even before he became a hero. She was easy prey, that's why he chose that camp.

(Back at Lindseyville, Terrell and Todd are loading up the last of the immigrants when Stacy approaches them with a loaded gun.)

Stacy: Don't think I don't know what you're doing. You're no hero, you're a thief. You're stealing Americans from their home!

Todd: What on earth are you talking about? There's been a malfunction and they need a little help. You should come too, just in case.

Stacy: No! I know Americans can be just as against Britney as foreign governments. You're a traitor! Just like my mother was a traitor!

(Todd has had enough. Stacy is on the way to the N stage or worse, he cannot help her now; maybe later but not now. He shoots at her shoulder, grazing it enough to make her drop her gun and fall to the floor in pain, but not enough to hurt her badly.)

Todd: Remember this, I don't miss. I didn't miss here, and I won't be so kind next time.

Stacy: I know who you are and I'll make sure they all know.

Todd: How? You'll scream my name when you are riding the 500 member who picks you out in the beauty contest? Please, they already know, they just can't stop me. They built me to be unstoppable, they just didn't know I'd be their enemy. And oh, Dee says your mother was blonde once too, so if you wake up, you know where to call.

Stacy: Bite me, asshole! I'll tell them all what I saw here.

Todd: If you are that brainwashed, give my regards to Hollywood.

(Todd kicks Stacy in the head, knocking her out. He then leaves on the last bus back to Canada, where he can sort out the immigrants he has tried to free.)