(As the scene opens, a crowd has gathered in the bleachers at a chain-link-fenced basketball court; a street sign at the edge of the scene puts it at 125th Street and Eighth Avenue. About a dozen women and a few men mill about on the court. Across from the bleachers is a radio table occupied by two women, Sharai and Treesha. They make inaudible small talk. Sharai is a Jewish woman in her late twenties, swarthy and brunette, her hair gathered under a dark red scarf, wearing a blouse that matches the scarf.)

Sharai: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to those in the seats here in Harlem, and to those listening out there on WNYC, la voz de Nueva York, el alma de la ciudad. I'm Sharai Rosen, and I'll be the PA announcer and play-by-play woman, depending on where you happen to be enjoying this game. Here next to me is Treesha Head, my analyst for the first game in this inaugural double-header. Treesha, any words for our audiences?

(Treesha, a dark-skinned black woman in her late teens/early twenties, with a purple headband around her short-cropped hair and a t-shirt of the same hue, fiddles with her microphone for a few seconds, producing a painful burst of static before she speaks.)

Treesha: As a Historian, I'm honored to be here for the beginning of the New York Basketball Federation. I think it's a great way to build on New York City's basketball tradition, and a brilliant response to those who thought women's basketball would wither and die when it was banned in the rest of the country. As an umpire for the second game, I can't say anything other than 'please don't throw shit at me while I'm on the court'. I just want two clean, well-played games.

(Sharai takes Treesha's mic and toggles a switch on it before she leans into her own. Treesha's lines are no longer audible to the crowd in attendance.)

Sharai: Thanks, Treesha. This won't be like any other league you might have heard of before, though the NYBF plans on using a lot of professional rules. They'll be playing twelve-minute quarters, with two minutes in between each quarter and a fifteen-minute halftime. It sounds like a lot of dead time, but with short rosters, the players are going to need that time to rest up. Six fouls to foul out, free throws after the fourth foul of each quarter. The three-point arc is twenty-one feet from the basket. What makes the NYBF different is the organization of players. There are no teams set in stone. Instead, whatever players arrive for the game are divided into two groups- lovers are never in the same group- and parceled out to team captains according to a coin toss, the call made by the senior member of the pair. It's never certain how many people will show up each game, but what is certain is that some of the best players in the country will bring it every weekend.

Treesha: That's right, folks, every weekend. Sharai and her analyst of the day will start you off here at 125th Saturday afternoons at two and follow it up with a seven PM game at Ebbets in Brooklyn, the World's Least Famous Arena. Sundays, the action starts at two down on West 4th Street, with the nightcap at the Court of St. Sue at the Suffolk County Y. Things will be a little out of kilter these first couple of weeks: today's two games are both here, tomorrow's two games are both at Ebbets, next Saturday's games are both at West 4th, and next Sunday's games are both at Suffolk. Got all that? Good, 'cause I don't.

Sharai: Your honesty is like a cool breeze, Sister Treesha.

Treesha: And here are the captains for this first game, the designated captains for all Brooklyn games, the power couple of New York basketball, Dee Clay and Helen McCoy. I'm sure many of you remember Dee's remarkable collegiate career at North Carolina and her professional exploits in New York. She was a four-time All-Star before her career came to a needless end- will she match that on the varied courts of the NYBF?

Sharai: Let's not forget Helen. This Red Raider was a folk hero in Lubbock before she left to save her sanity and finish her education at Brooklyn College. Her duel with Iowa State's Rachel Davis is one of the few Richardson-era tapes shown on New York stations. As the... ahem, senior member of the pair, Dee picks her side, and she chooses heads.

Treesha: We've got two lines of seven players here, including some All-Stars and All-Americans. The good kind, don't you worry none. The refs for this first game are Julie Santangelo, the wife of Violet Pride coach Jean Williams; Bianca White, Snow Queen of the Amazons; and Toby Douglas, the first openly gay ref in the NCAA. He's the crew chief, so he's the one tossing the coin for each pair. They're separating now, Helen's team in green pinneys, Dee's team in blue.

Sharai: I thought pinneys went out of style in my high school gym class, man.

Treesha: Well, if you can find a way to differentiate teams who don't know who's with who until they get to the cage, holla. Anyway, these games aren't just for pride, though there's sure a lot of that here. No, there's something on the line that all New Yorkers understand: cold hard cash. The winning team gets to choose how the court will spend that day's kitty- the box office receipts, proceeds from the souvenir sales, and whatever donations you, the public, decide to make, minus bonuses to high stats for the day. If you want to help a baller in need, drop your dimes, or dollars, at your court of choice. Over to you, Sharai.

Sharai: The teams have been chosen. Dee Clay's team, in the blue, will be playing for a new set of bleachers. She's got Shannon Fox, the six-four center fresh out of NYU who averaged 13 boards and 18 points in her college career. Her frontcourt also includes Stevie Marino, the six-six All-Star swingman from Orlando, and six-foot Miranda Jeffries, Hunter's second-leading scorer of all time. In the backcourt, of course, is Dee herself, and it looks like she's going to go with the five-eleven Anna Wesley as her off guard, the sniper from Wisconsin who was an integral part of Band on the Run in Phoenix. Backing them up in the post is six-four Shimmy Edwards, diehard Disciple and your source for Jamaican rum and weed, mon. Their spare guard is five-ten Evelyn Astor, the Stanford grad and Brooklyn College coach. (She pauses and shuffles the papers on her desk.) Helen McCoy and her squad, in the green, have earmarked their potential winnings for a video screen to show stats. She's got six-two bruiser Jean Williams at center, the NYU coach and Cal legend. Cat Francis, the six-five journeyman last seen in Los Angeles, will try his hand at the four. At the other forward slot is six-foot Meredith Clark, who averaged 27 points and six assists this past year at NYU. Helen herself will play the shooting guard, and to everyone's surprise, she'll put the playmaking in the hands of Jess Archer, the Hunter point guard who holds the unacknowledged collegiate record for steals in a game. Off the bench for the video screen crew are Hunter coach Ellie Nolan, a five-eleven guard, and five-four Baruch letter-winner Danielle Levine.

Treesha: Before we begin, I gotta disclaim my knowledge. I played two years in high school, but that stopped when everyone else caught up in height. But I come from a small town in Tennessee where basketball is our chief export, so I do know a bit about the game. Havin' said that, I'd expect Helen to try and turn this into a defensive battle. Williams is the only real size she has. But she's got two coaches on her bench in Nolan and Williams, and two top-notch defensive stoppers in Archer and Levine. If she wants to see the stats the next time she comes in, she's going to have to play and outline a heady, low-scoring game. As for Dee, she'll probably run it with herself and her guards and pound it inside to Fox and Marino. I'd also expect the outside game to be on with her, Wesley, and Jeffries starting and Astor on the bench. It's a good thing we're playing quarters; those breaks will be critical with only two subs available for each team. If Helen's smart, she'll force Dee and her bleacher creatures to play twenty-four seconds of defense, then wear themselves out on the fast break. If Dee's the smart one, she'll drop into a zone and dare Helen's A/V squad to win this game with scoring.

Sharai: Great analysis, Treesha. And now, for the singing of our civic anthem, please welcome Metropolitan Opera alto and famed jazz singer Morgan Hunter. She'll be taking my mic, so you'll be treated to the sound of her voice wherever you happen to be checking out this game. I ask that you please rise, remove your caps, and give the proper salute.

(Morgan, a fair-skinned and stocky woman in her late thirties, enters and comes to center court. She wears a black crepe dress, its skirt brushing the court. She sings "New York, New York". There is much applause and cheering. She bows and takes a seat in the bleachers.)

Sharai: Thank you. Stick around at halftime for Ms. Hunter's encore performance. She'll be singing jazz classics, including her recent chart-topping cover of "A Rose Is a Rose". Now, let's play ball!

(insert basketball game here)

Sharai: And the final score, Dee Clay and her bleacher creatures take it 74-69 over Helen McCoy's would-be A/V squad. Time to divvy up the pot. Turn it over to you, Treesha, people only believe stats when they come from a Historian.

Treesha: High scorer for the winning team, taking home a hundred bucks, is Dee herself, notching twenty-one points. Seventy-five dollars to Shannon Fox, who led the team with 12 rebounds. Fifty dollars more to Dee, whose four assists were top of the squad. Miranda Jeffries's two steals garner her twenty-five, and three blocks by Fox add twenty-five to her take-home. For the losing team, Meredith Clark's nineteen points net her fifty bucks. Top rebounder was Jean Williams with eight, so that's thirty-eight dollars to her. Jess Archer dished six assists for twenty-five dollars, and her three steals are worth thirteen bucks. No blocks for the A/V squad, so that money goes back into the kitty, along with the turnover and brick penalties: fifty bucks back from Fox for her three turnovers, fifty bucks from Anna Wesley for her two-of-nine shooting, twenty-five from Cat Francis for his five turnovers in a losing cause, and twenty-five from Helen for her three-of-fourteen shooting.

Sharai: We've got Dee Clay over here for the postgame interview- we're New Yorkers, not barbarians, after all. Dee, what was it like kicking off the NYBF?

(Dee takes Sharai's microphone so that her answers are audible to both the radio listeners and the crowd at the park.)

Dee: Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Though I'd rather be playing with Helen than against her... oh my God, I did not just say that. Oh, man, she's never going to let me live that down. But I'd rather have her as a teammate than an opponent. And I just know I'll end up paying her brick penalty. That's the only problem I really have, though. I love streetball- it brings back a lot of good memories.

Sharai: What do you think about the random factor in team selection? It sure doesn't give you any time to plan a strategy from game to game. Do you think it gives the league the appearance of being less than professional?

Dee: Well, it isn't professional, is it? You only get paid if you do well. No, I don't mind it. It means things will be choppy for a while, so bear with us, folks. But I've balled with everyone here except the Hawks and the Violets, and as time passes, we'll all know each other's strengths and weaknesses. By the end of the season, any of us will be able to look at the players we've got and say "okay, I can do this, this, and this, but this will blow up in my face". Regimentation is for idiots, anyway. (crowd cheers) New York is all about improv, free-form, doing it your own way. Now we've finally got a league that reflects that.

(A pair of panties lands on the radio table. Dee glances at them, but doesn't seem ruffled, though Sharai looks embarrassed and Treesha snickers. She toggles a switch labeled "radio feed" to the off position.)

Dee: *Later*, Helen. (whistles and catcalls from the audience as Dee readjusts the mic and hands it back to Sharai)

Treesha: Anyone who's listened to this game the whole way through knows that you and Helen are the designated captains for the games at Ebbets, and you only got to choose up sides for a game here because it's opening day. That doesn't mean you can't show up for other league games. So are you gonna?

Dee: Sure I am! In a situation like this, back-to-backs aren't so bad. You get to sleep in your own bed... or something like that. (She smiles.) I can't stay for the second game today, though I'd like to play with either- oh, but the captains for this court haven't been made public yet, have they? Can't say, then. But I'm captaining one game tomorrow and going into the pool for the second. Four games in two days would be a little much, even with almost a week until the next game. Helen and I have talked about it since the courts were selected, and we'll be involved in a Sunday game every week unless an emergency comes up. We'll try to alternate which arena we'll be at... but I'm not going to tell you where we start- you'll have to head to both arenas to find out. Get your tickets while you still can!

Sharai: And the league thanks you for the plug, I'm sure. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us. Good luck to both you and Helen tomorrow at Ebbets. Ladies and gentlemen, Dee Clay! (The crowd rises to its feet and applauds her loudly enough that it reverbs in the radio feed.) Stick around for the second half of our doubleheader, which will include the dedication of the court, the announcement of the Harlem captains, and another halftime performance by the incomparable Morgan Hunter. I don't want to give away anything, but you might want to keep your eyes open. I'm just sayin'.

Treesha: You're a shameless hussy, Sharai.

Sharai: By dint of great effort, Treesha. We'll be back in half an hour with pregame coverage for the second half of this inaugural doubleheader. But for now, we'll turn you over to Tommy Two-Tune and his mix of the '50s, '60s, and '70s. I'm Sharai Rosen, and for Treesha Head and the rest of our crew, a bientot!

(end first scene)

(Scene 2. It appears that some time has passed. The crowd in the bleachers has reshuffled, and there are new players on the court, but Sharai is in the same spot where we left her. Treesha is on the court in a striped shirt, along with Bianca and Toby. Julie, a trim brunette in her early fifties, has replaced her as analyst.)

Sharai: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Harlem to those of you who were groovin' to the sweet sounds of Tommy Two-Tune and the '50s, '60s, and '70s. For those of you who keep track of these things but went to get a snack, Tommy played "Runaround Sue" by Dion and the Belmonts, "She's a Brick House" by the Commodores, "Walk Like a Man" by the Four Seasons, "Respect" by Aretha Franklin, "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge, "Crystal Blue Persuasion" by Tommy James and the Shondells, "Land of A Thousand Dances" by Wilson Pickett, and the EP of "Nights in White Satin" by the Moody Blues. Got those down? Remember, if you're the first one to catch Tommy playing a song twice in a Gregorian calendar month, you win a free box of your choice of ammo. All you have to do is text your name, address, and preferred caliber to WNYCFM2. That's Whiskey, November, Yankee, Charlie, Foxtrot, Mike, and the numeral 2.

Julie: This is the second half of our doubleheader, and I tell you, there are some players out there this afternoon. Looks like a couple of Hunter Hawks and New York Violet Pride players are following the advice of Ernie Banks and playing two. That's surprising, because all four of them got a little somethin' from the kitty- they risk losing what they've won, but I'll be glad to see Clark back on the court. What could have been if she'd been a few years older. Also looks like some folks took the twinbill thing a little too seriously.

Sharai: Here comes the junior captain for Harlem. You might know her best these days as the owner of The Long And Short of It, the designer boutique for the petites and the giants among us, or maybe you still have her on your wall from her stints as Miss January in the 2013 and 2015 "What the Idiots Miss" calendar series. But this tall drink of hot chocolate was automatic in the paint during her college days at Vanderbilt. My friends, I present to you Mrs. Shawn Smiiiiiiith!

(Catcalls and applause as Shawn, a tall and extremely beautiful black woman, comes out to center court, but she stands to one side of the circle. There is a palpable buzz in the air- the crowd is revved up for the revelation of the second permanent captain.)

Sharai: And the senior captain for Harlem is under the bleachers now. If you've seen her once, it was one time too many. This Huntress is one of the top-notch contract killers and bodyguards you'll find in New York, with eighty pearls for successful missions on her belt. When not causing death and destruction, she works as a shopgirl at The Long and Short of It. An Iowa graduate, she was a two-time All-Star before retiring, but I think you'll know her best as the woman who executed the traitor LaTonya Moore, touch steel. Ladies, gentlemen, and the rest of the city, here to dedicate the court in Tina Washington's name, the wife of Shawn Smith, Mrs. Angie Aaaaaanderson!

(The crowd goes completely wild as Angie, slightly shorter but broader than Shawn, enters the scene. She bears a stencil in her hands. When she comes to center court, she lays the stencil precisely over the circle, takes out a can of blue spray paint, and sprays the design into place. It looks like a blue sunburst with eleven rays and the words "Tina Washington Memorial Court" bracketing the sunburst along the top and bottom. She comes over to the radio table and takes Sharai's mic.)

Angie: Tina was an example for all of us. She lived her life simply and honestly, unwilling to hide who she was just for the sake of making it to the big time. She was one of the few people with the courage to stand up to the dictatorship and say that what they were doing was wrong. For telling the truth and sticking to her beliefs no matter what, they killed her, and we know now that she was only the first. She's our heroine. She may have grown up in a little town in the middle of nowhere, and she may have made her name on the West Coast, but in her heart of hearts, she was a New Yorker until the end. It's only a little way to remember her, but sometimes the little things are the ones that stick in the memory, and maybe the name of this court will keep her in the minds and hearts of the city so that her sacrifice was not in vain. (She pauses.) Okay, that's all I got, unless I'm allowed to tell stories about how she rolled at the Ladies' Room and Four-X.

(Sharai takes her microphone back as the audience laughs.)

Julie: Our crew chief today, Toby Douglas, just got the call from Angie, and she's going with tails. He's working his way down the two lines now, flipping the coin and sorting out who's going where. I guess that's a good idea while the paint dries on the court. The other two refs today are Bianca White of the Amazons, who worked the early game, and Apprentice Treesha Head, Historian to the Disciples of St. Sue.

Sharai: If you were here for the first game, you know how this little league of ours works, but here's a summary for the busy listener: professional rules, for the most part, which we'll be subtly working into our commentary. But you heard Julie talking about coin tosses, and that's the key to our teams for this and every game. It's the random factor, bay-bee, isn't it awesome?

Julie: Please don't ever do that again.

Sharai: And the last coin has been tossed, so the teams are prepared. Angie and her team are in the blue pinneys, and they'll be playing for a spare microphone. Well, now, I appreciate that. So this team has a former Hawk, the five-four point guard Jess Archer, who giveth and taketh away last game, picking up thirty-eight dollars. NYU alum Shannon Fox, the six-four center, will help Angie anchor the post; she's already fifty bucks up on the day, top boarder, blocker, and blunderer for Dee's winning squad. Lauren Powers, the six-two forward out of Florida, will help give the blue team a tall front line. Rounding out the starting five is five-nine Alan Williams, an incoming freshman at Fordham.

Julie: That's my son! Attaboy!

Sharai: Julie, please control yourself. Angie has a three-person bench to work with: five-three Diamanda "Dime" Rosario from Lehman, six-foot forward Amber "Rock Star" Stone, five years out of NYIT, and recent arrival Keyora Sydney, a five-eleven swingwoman from Minnesota. Shawn Smith's squad will be in the green pinneys, and they've decided to play for a potential roof in case of bad weather. I like that idea too; it seems that the permanent captains have a lot more interest in what goes on here. Shawn's got the six-three center Leslie Rivers, five years out of Texas Tech, to do the heavy hitting for her. Six-foot Meredith Clark, the '19 grad of NYU and top scorer in a losing cause last game, will start at the three, while six-foot Miranda Jeffries out of Hunter will hold down the shooting guard slot. The point guard for the roofers is Dimitria "Dime" Rosario, a five-three guard out of Lehman, and identical twin sister to Diamanda Rosario. Off the bench for Shawn are five-nine guard Diane "Double-Oh Seven" Williams, who's looking at a full ride to Fordham in the fall-

Julie: That's my daughter! Attagirl!

Sharai: Julie, one more time and I'm sending you to Grand Concourse alone.

Julie: They'd never touch me. Jean would kick their asses and you know it. (Sharai makes a face before speaking again.)

Sharai: Also backing up the roofing squad is five-six NYIT alum Sheila Boykins, The Girl They Call Boy, and six-three UIC graduate Tamara Xavier. Those are your teams. Julie, any analysis?

Julie: This is going to be a brutal game in the post. Absolutely deadly. Both teams go tall in that starting front line. I don't expect a lot of finesse, but I do expect a lot of curse words and missed calls. I know I had trouble making out some of the tangles in the lane, and I can't imagine it being any easier on Toby and Bianca after already having done a game, or on Treesha having no real idea how the game is flowing. There's also more streetballers here and fewer former pros than there were in the first game; Smith, Anderson, and Powers were the only ones to play in the WNBA. While things might be a little less smooth, the youth of the players also means we should see less sucking wind, especially with that extra bench player. If players get away from the monsters in the post, expect some flashy moves.

Sharai: Thanks, Julie. Whoa! Dispatch from the main station! According to our programming manager, Lynn Hamilton of Highbridge was the first to correctly point out that Tommy played "She's a Brick House", by the Commodores, on the sixth of this month. For her attention to detail, Lynn picks up a box of .22 caliber. Good stuff. Very versatile. Lynn, I salute your good taste. Tommy, you're slacking. Good thing this stuff comes out of your pocket, not the station's. (At this point, Morgan reenters, still in the crepe dress, though it's a bit worse for wear, and heads toward the radio table.) Now back to your regularly scheduled programming, mostly because famed opera alto and jazz singer Morgan Hunter has come to claim my microphone for the singing of our civic anthem, so please rise, remove your caps, and give the proper salute.

(Morgan again sings "New York, New York" as the crowd again rises, removes caps if applicable and raises their middle fingers to the sky. Some of the older fans also sing along, which Morgan encourages by the final chorus. When she finishes, the crowd stays on its feet to applaud her wildly. She bows and exits, returning Sharai's microphone on her way out.)

Sharai: Miss Hunter will be back one more time at halftime with another round of the jazz standards she's made you all know and love, including her debut hit "Open Your Eyes, You Can Fly". What can I say? You get a talent of her caliber, you milk her for all you can get. (She toggles the switch that turns the radio feed on and off.) Hey, Morgan, do you mind doing two sets and two anthems for today?

(Morgan returns from the tunnel and takes Sharai's mic.)

Morgan: Hell no! Just let me get a drink... oh, and a drink of water... (The crowd laughs) and I'll be fine. (She hands the mic back to Sharai and exits again. Sharai decides not to call her back again, because she sees the agitation of the players on the court.)

Sharai: Okay, let's play ball!

(insert basketball game here)

Sharai: And that's the ballgame, folks, the final score 68-60 in favor of Shawn Smith and the beginnings of a spiffy new roof. High scorer, and high rebounder, for the winning team, was Leslie Rivers, with 18 points and 11 rebounds; that's a full one-seventy-five into her bank account. Dimitria Rosario dropped eight of her namesake dimes for fifty bucks and had five steals for twenty-five. Shawn had two blocks for twenty-five. In a losing effort, Lauren Powers led Angie Anderson's team with an unbelievable 26 points, garnering her fifty bucks. Angie's eight rebounds are good for thirty-eight bucks. Off the bench, Diamanda Rosario had six assists, worth twenty-five dollars, but I'm afraid her pride won't recover until she gets the better of Mitri. Alan Williams and Jess Archer each had two steals, and each will get thirteen out of the kitty. Last but not least on the positive side of the ledger, Shannon Fox's three blocks are good for thirteen more to her already flush account. Now for the penalties. For the winning team, Miranda Jeffries forks over fifty for six turnovers, and Dimitria Rosario fifty for her zero-of-four shooting from the field- sorry, Dime, but percentages don't get much worse than that. For the losing team, Alan Williams's abysmal nine turnovers are worth twenty-five back into the kitty- oh, his sister's not going to let him live that down, is she? And Jess Archer will shell out twenty-five dollars for her two-of-ten shooting. Normally we'd go to a postgame interview with the winning captain, but she seems to be involved in consoling the losing captain, so we'll just let them be.

Julie: Y'know, they probably could have sold as many tickets for this as they did for the actual basketball games. I'm serious, folks. There's some heavy-duty girl-on-girl action going on down there. If I'd been taking bets, I would have thought it would be Helen to pin Dee to the court, not Shawn Angie.

(Sharai looks embarrassed and makes a grab for Julie's mic, but Julie holds it out of her reach.)

Sharai: Meanwhile, back on topic, our statistical compilations could not have been possible without the help of the Order of Our Lady the Binder, especially Brother Kevin Mercer at Columbia and Brother Kevin's apprentice Historian, Scott Jordan. Give Scotty a hand, everyone!

(A few spectators, mostly male, direct their applause towards the young black man sitting opposite the radio table. He raises a hand to the purple headband he wears to acknowledge the attention.)

Sharai: Folks, if you want to know every stat for your favorite player, from the big five to how many dribbles they take in a possession, ask Scotty. The man will know. Just text him at the NYBF offices, NYBFSTATS. That's November, Yankee, Bravo, Foxtrot, Sierra, Tango, Alpha, Tango, Sierra. Give him the name of the player whose stats you want; specify whether you want a single game, a group of games, or the season; if you have any unusual requests; and of course, a way you can be reached, whether it's a home address or a two-way. Leave approximately 24 hours for a request with text return, 48 for home delivery.

Julie: You can't distract them with numbers. You can try, but it doesn't work. The radio audience is probably a lot more curious about what Angie and Shawn are doing, and I can't tell them if you keeep talking about stats.

Sharai: This broadcast is starting to get out of hand. I'll be back tomorrow at two at Ebbets Arena in Brooklyn with yet another pair of analysts and a fresh supply of patience. Keep your dial locked on WNYC- next up is that scintillating sinner Roxanne Kelly, with all that jazz. For Julie Santangelo, Treesha Head, and everyone who worked either or both sides of this doubleheader, I'm Sharai Rosen, wishing you all goodbye, and good luck. (She turns off the mic, and the scene fades out.)