doesn't everyone drink coffee?
I was just wondering. Now, don't mind me. This wondering
thing is something I do every other day or every other time I get bored. Which
happens to be the other day of every other day. Get it? Else, never mind.
So I was asking myself, doesn't everyone drink coffee?
Why coffee, you say? Now. Coffee is God's gift to our kind. Which God? That
ain't for me to answer I suppose. But whichever One it was, that was a damn
pretty good move.
Ok, I digressed. What you going to do about that? This
is what happens when you have a bored mind trying to comprehend the technicalities
of a great invention like the coffee bean.
So on one hand, we have a real good drink like coffee.
Let's look at the opposition. XXXX apple tea vs. the king of all beverages.
Oh yeah, we can substitute XXXX apple tea with any other drink. Feel free to
do so.
Back to the story. The other day I was having an absolutely
banal conversation with someone or another. It was at this really nice coffee
place somewhere in town. Town for me stretches from Bugis to Novena, for those
who must know.
So we were at this coffee place right? You go to a coffee
place to order coffee. That is a very rational statement. Premise A is that
one enters a coffee place. Premise B is that in a coffee place, one orders a
coffee. Therefore, by all means of reasoning, conclusion would be that one enters
a coffee place to order a coffee.
Not so for my friend. He had to order a *gasp* ice fruit
blend.
"What are you doing?' I asked him after the waiter
left with our orders. By the way, I got for myself a nice Bailey's Cream Latte.
Had to put that in capitals. Bailey's is another good drink. Coffee better definitely.
"I ordered a drink." he said.
"Yeah, umm, but this is a coffee place. You got
to order a coffee drink, else you aren't giving the establishment enough respect.
Those other items on the menu are for show." I tell him.
He sits up a bit more, rather defensively I must add.
" No. If it is on the menu, why can't I order it? I am a customer."
"Listen to me. Coffee is a gift. It is a lovely
drink. And nothing else compares."
"But I want to sleep later. I cannot sleep with
caffeine flowing through my veins."
"That's bull shit. I drink coffee and sleep 4 hours
a day. I am still perfectly fine."
"Why are you so adamant that I order a coffee drink
anyway? This place pays you to make friends drink coffee? And I want a ice fruit
blend. Wait, now I have a headache. Think I need the coffee."
So he ordered a coffee. And glare-d at me all the time
he was telling the waiter about the change of order.
Fine, I was pretty smug about that. Yes, I did nag him
to get a coffee. But it was done in his self interest. Look how well I am looking
after my friends. You may choose to disagree.
Well, coffee is good for so many things right? It brings people closer together.
It cures headaches and best of all, everyone EVENTUALLY drinks coffee.
By Ezra © 2002. All Rights Reserved.
