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So who am i really? That's a good question. Where to start? I 's'pose i with my name, Ginny and I am a dork, and I am proud of it. I used to hate it, I desired popularity. Then all of a sudden I went *poof* Go Geekyness! It was very sudden, and I'm pleased with the result. And oddly enough it was when I decided I didn't care about popularity that the "popular people" started associating with me. Kinda weird. I've lost my fear of appearing cool, (YAY) and now I color code my notes and embarass myself with the best of them. I also have a real knack for devastating the english language. A good friend of mine keeps a list of all the stupid and unexpected things that I say (most of which will appear in the blog headings). These are my claims to fame: "Of course it happens, but it wouldn't work" "If you don't see it then it must exist" "This may possibly be the worst $ sign I've seen in my human career as life" And then there's the good old screwed up sayings: "We'll bite that rock when we come to it" "I envy you from the bottom of my heart" "I couldn't hold a note in a hailstorm." Now, to know more about my personality I suggest reading up on your basic Scorpio profiles-cuz i am SO the Scorpion baby! You wouldn't believe just how much I resemble said Zodiac sign. And coupled with the Rat characteristics?...whew.It's crazy man. I am the most insanely jealous, manipulative, controling, furtive, and watchful person I've ever met. Although I try to supress these tendencies of mine and hide them from others, I am nevertheless unable to purge myself of them as they do come in handy sometimes. I pride myself on my ability to understand the needs and drives of those around me (the better to get what I want, and more importantly maintain peace - since I can generally keep situations from getting out of hand thru effective compromising). Dont' get me wrong, I'm not a shallow person making friends on the basis of what I can get out of them. they're my favorite people and I would do anything for them when they're in need. Like most people I am insecure about many things, not the least of which being my appearance. I go thru ups and downs. Usually I'm down cuz I seem to have an obsession with making myself miserable. I'm constantly doing things which I know will only result in further depression, and that's why I do 'em. I like melodrama in my life. Without things going wrong I'm usually bored. I prefer depressed to bored (for some queer reason). I don't believe true love can exist at age 18. And I definately don't believe in love at first sight. Lust yes, love no. Sad, but nevertheless realistic. As far as I'm concerned love is the utmost highest strongest emotion you can feel for another human being. So...how could you love someone more each day? That just isn't right. I don't believe in saying "I love you" unless I mean it (something which really screws me over in relationships I have to say) and I wont mean it for some time. I do however believe in soulmates and fate. I believe that you can just know and never need to give an explanation to yourself or anyone else. I aspire to appear as a rock. Cold, solid, strong, emotionless. Since as far back as I can remember I've cried 3 times 1) I was 8ish, my grandmother died 2) I was 15, no explanation at a friends house. 3) I was 18, I wasn't cast in a play. This last one suprised me muchly. Never had I broken down so easily (especially considering how I was not alone at the time). i still cannot believe it happened as the memory persists fresh in my mind. It haunts me that I am not in absolute control of myself and what others percieve of me. Um...I guess that's enough for now. |