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Episode Recaps

Missed an episode of Buffy and desperate to find out what happened? Looking for some comic releif, Buffy-Style? Just wanna get your opinion heard on a forum that doesn't suck? Well If you said yes to any of the above Telelvision Without Pity is the place for you! Two wonderful people named Ace and Sep (with occasional help from Strega and Couch Baron) summarize every weeks episode of Buffy in the best way possible. It's funny!! For examples I've picked out some of my favorite quotes, listed below. Also there's little stuff, like, Spike without a chip is pre-schmoopification Spike. And Evil Willow is Cruella De Will. Heeheehee. Check it out if you need to know what happened in any epsiode of BtVs!


Come Over and Say Hi!!

Quotes From TWoP

It's interesting that some spells don't require a special incantation but just one everyday word. What if Willow came home and said, "Oh darn. Forgot milk." And the gang is all, "Milk? What is this milk of which you speak? I wish I had a cool, refreshing beverage to go with these cookies but alas, nothing seems to adequately complement them." And then we would be sad for the poor Scoobies exiled to a life of cookies without milk.
-Ace from All the Way
and along the same lines...
They come across a car, and Willow commands, 'Open!' The doors open. Once she and Dawn are inside, she shouts, 'Close!' She used magic to close the car doors. Damn, Willow, what do you do in the bathroom, girl? 'Wipe! Flush!'
-Ace from Wrecked

Vampires are creatures of the night. Not creatures of the gloomy day, or creatures of the indirect sunlight. It just makes them all the less potent, all the less tragic. Honestly, what's the difference between me and Spike right now? I eat things my friends are repulsed by and have to avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight because, I too, burn very easily. Whatever.
-Sep from Afterlife

This recap might be less snarky than usual because, well, this episode is an extremely good forty-four minutes of television and I'm a big sap who can't think of too many snide things to say while I'm sniffling over teen angst and groping for the Kleenex.
-Ace from Innocence

He then warns her that she should be careful with her new midway freak-show act, because things that seem good on the surface can be painful. Like David Boreanaz. And his acting. But somehow I don't think that's what he was talking about.
-Sep from Earshot

She breaks free and does that thing where you run up to the nearest vertical surface and run up it, flipping yourself over in the process. I wish I could do that. Although I guess I don't have much need for it in my day-to-day life. It might make filing more exciting, though. I could close the door with my feet!
-Ace from All the Way

Well, knock me down with a feather, I sure didn't see that coming!
-Sep from Harsh Light of Day

Marti Noxon thinks we're idiots. The feeling is more than mutual. I hate this episode. (and)
This is the first of many horrible acts of behavior in this episode from the characters, and it makes me wonder what Joss was smoking when he wrote it. Then I remember that Marti Noxon wrote this episode, and I wonder what Joss was smoking when he hired her.
-Couch Baron, both from Dead Man's Party

Riley is very relaxed about getting the brush-off in favor of "Slayer-shopping," but Buffy has to ruin the moment and attempt to hand him her spine by whining, "Are you mad at me?" Riley replies, "No, not at all. I'm plotting your death, but in a happy way." Ha! And I repeat, what the hell is going on here? What Buffyverse is this with its little sisters and appealing Rileys? Spooky. Riley and his Boyzone haircut depart.
-Sep from Real Me

Only she does it about a thousand times cheerier than I'm capable of rendering here, because my idea of cheery is refraining from slapping people if they talk to me before I've had coffee in the morning.
-Ace from I Was Made to Love You

Willow is wearing a purple hat. Why? I don't know. Maybe for every episode they do a drawing wherein they randomly pick one of various articles of hideous clothing, and one random character name, and this week came out with 'Willow' and 'purple hat.' Seems like they did about ten drawings per episode in the fourth season.
-Couch Baron from Anne

Buffy says that she got the scar from an "angry puppy," and I wish Angel were around to hear that description so I could see which of his two facial expressions he would use.
-Sep from Harsh Light of Day

I'm shocked to find Marti Noxon sitting next to me on the couch. I'm about to say hi when she whips out a baseball bat labeled 'DRUG ADDICTION METAPHOR' and begins to beat me about the head with it. Ouch! Marti! Cut it out!
-Ace from Wrecked



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