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Xander- We just the saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!
Willow- It was like the heimlich, with stripes.
Angel- You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this.
Buffy- Oh. I didn't even notice.
Buffy- Hey speaking of wow potential there's Oz over there. What are we thinkin' any sparkage?
Willow- He's nice. I- I like his hands.
Buffy- Mmmm, fixation on an insignificant detail is a definite crush sign.
Buffy- I can't beleive you got into Oxford!
Willow- It's pretty exciting.
Oz- There's some deep academia there.
Buffy- That's where they make Gileses!
Willow- I know! I could learn an- and have scones!
Cordelia- What would you know about it? Just because you were gaucamole queen when you were three doesnt mean you understand how this works.
Cordelia- Willow, nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of sears.
Cordelia- Dorkhead.
Xander- Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!
Giles- So all the city plans are just...open to the public?
Willow- Um, well, in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidently decrypted the city councils security system.
Xander- Someone's been naughty.
Mayor- Gosh I'm feeling chipper, hehehehe. Who's for a root beer!?
Willow- The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?
Willow- Well why else would she be acting like a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles- Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander- A bitca?
Buffy- Well, I gotta look on the bright side, maybe I can still get kicked out of school.
Xander- Oh yeah, that's a plan. Cuz lots of schools aren't on hellmouths
Willow- Maybe you could blow something up, they're really strict about that.
Buffy- I was thinking of a more subtle aproach, you know, like excessive not studying.
Giles- The earth is doomed.
Xander- Angel's our friend!!! Except I don't like him.
Spike- Uh, when you say you love us all...
Xander/Giles- Shut up!
Willow: Uh, we just have to stop her from doing the ritual. I mean, there's only the one time that she can do it, right?
Spike: Yeah. We get her on the ropes, we just gotta keep her occupied till it's too late.
Anya: Okay. But I'm still not hearing enough ideas. She's a god. Let's think outside the box.
Spike: Why don't you go think outside the bleeding box.
Buffy- Alright, ten more minutes of chanting and then you guys have to go to bed.
Buffy: This is a bad time.
Giles: You keep saying that.
Buffy: Well it looks pretty bad! I think someone had just a little too much free time on their hands.
Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No! 'Cause you're very, very old, and it's gross.
Xander- I am the bug man, coo-coo-ca-choo.
Faith: Uh, that one is for your mom. They're pretty crappy.
Joyce: Faith, you made it. Oh, that is so thoughtful.
Faith: They're crappy.
Giles: Session interrupted? Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad! No, I said fad. And I'll say it again.
Giles: We can't let you go until we're sure that you're...impotent
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words, until we know that you're...
Buffy: Flacid?
Spike: You are one step away missy...
Buffy: I lost a friend tonight!
Spike: I wasn't in on that raiding party.
Buffy: And I may lose more! The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to *not* care.
Buffy: I have to go. I have to go on one of my pointless patrols and react to some vampires. If that's alright with MOO. And nice acronym, Mom.
Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D........ I.D.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a friggin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: Gimme a Coke.
Giles: Do you like my mask? Isn't it
pretty? It raises the *dead*!' Americans.
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.
Angelus: Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? It might make an impression.
Angelus: Lacks... poetry.
Spike: It doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?
Buffy: Angel was cured.
Giles: I'm sorry?
Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. (to Willow) Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. (Willow looks up, taking it all in) I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.
Buffy, these men are rich. And I am
*not* being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all
my money!
Drusilla: At the museum. A tomb... (smiles) with a surprise inside.
Angelus: You can see all that in your head?
Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper.
Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?
Willow: Ours is a forbidden love.
Giles: Feel up to some training?
BUFFY: Sure. We can work out after school. You know... If you're not too busy having sex with my *mo-ther*.
Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.
Mayor: There you go. Now, first you load up on calcium. Then find
this demon, kill the heck out of him, and bring the books to me.
Mayor Wilkins: (chuckles and shakes his head) I, I just love the Family Circus! That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.
Willow: It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe. Gosh, look at those.
Giles: Ahem, well
Cordelia: Where did you get that dress? (pursues her) This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? (checks the label) This is a knockoff, isn't it?! Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements!
Buffy: You think we have problems...
Xander: I love when you talk, Wesley. I love when you sing, Wesley.
Can you say the words jailbait, Wesley? Limey bastard.
XANDER: What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time!
Sex.. Help! Four times five is thirty...five times six is thirty-two... Naked girls. Naked women...Naked Buffy...Oh, stop me!
BUFFY: God Xander, is that *all* you think about??
XANDER: Actually...? BYE!
Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut.
Xander: Ow.
Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!
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