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Cordelia: People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of *my* life, and she's trying to make it about *her* leg! Like *my* pain meant nothing.

Cordelia: Here's a chocolate...Oh. I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote.
Buffy: Well, I-I don't even *like* chocolates. Okay, that was the lamest comeback of our times.

Snyder: There are no dead students here. This week.

Xander: Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room.

Xander: Hmm. Greek myths speak of cloaks of invisibility, but they're usually for the gods. (gets looks from everyone) Research Boy comes through with the knowledge!

Xander:Oh, hey, do you wanna come to our place tonight for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place.
Willow: Xander, do you guys even have a stove?

Willow: Oh, my God! 'Have a nice summer. Have a nice summer.' This girl had no friends at all.
Giles: Uh, once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.

Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh?

Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me!
Xander: Wow! For once she's right!
Buffy: So you've come to *me* for help.
Cordelia: Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kind of hoping you were in a gang.

Cordelia: Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight!
Xander: Uh, can we just revel in your fabulous lack of priorities?

Buffy: Y'know, I really felt sorry for you. You've suffered. There's one thing I really didn't factor into all this. You're a thundering loony!

Cordelia: Look, um, I didn't get a chance to say anything yesterday with the coronation and everything... but, um, I guess I just wanted to say thank you, all of you.
Xander: That's funny, 'cause she *looks* like Cordelia.