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Buffy: Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.

Snyder: I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. At.

Willow: I think dummies are cute. You don't?
Buffy: Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little.
Willow: What happened?
Buffy: I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there.

Xander: I have my pride! Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this!

Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

Cordelia: It's just such a tragedy for me. Emma was, like, my best friend.
Xander: Emily.
Cordelia: All I can think is, it coulda been me!
Xander: We can dream.

Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking.
Buffy: Well, I don't do any of those things. Not... ever.

Buffy: Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this... I think Sid was in my room last night.

Giles: Willow, we have some hunting of our own to do.
Willow: Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog.

Willow: What could a demon possibly want from me?
Xander: What's the square root of 841?
Willow: 29. Oh, yeah.