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The Witch

Xander: People scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all like this!
He notices Amber doing the splits between two chairs.
Xander: Ooo, stretchy! Where was I?
Willow: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.
Xander: Who said I was pretending?

Giles: But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. Pardon me for finding the glass half full.

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
Joyce: This is Gidgit hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?

Xander: Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes.

Giles: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?
Willow: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?

Xander: Alright, alright, it's not what you think.
Willow: You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?
Xander: Oh, well, uh, I-I guess it *is* what you think.

Xander: We're right behind you, only... further back.

Buffy: You're not like other boys at all.
Xander: Well...
Buffy: You are totally, and completely one of the girls!

Amy: I'm just happy to have my body back. I'm thinking of getting fat.
Buffy: Y'know, I hear that look's in for spring.

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