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Willow: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.
Xander: You're bad to the bone.
Willow: I'm a rebel.
Spike: Home, sweet home.
Vampire#1: Yes. This weekend, the night of St. Vigeous, our power shall be at its peak. When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.
Spike: *You* were *there*? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.
Vampire#1: I oughta rip your throat out.
Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
Spike: So. Who do you kill for fun around here?
Spike: Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. (can't keep a straight face) Who am I kidding? I *love* to brag! There was this one Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion, and...
Buffy: We're going to the Bronze. I can study and party and do Parent- Teacher night and make my mother proud as long as I don't have to...
Giles: Buffy!
Buffy: ...fight vampires.
Xander: Yeah, I'll whittle stakes.
Willow: A-and I can research stuff.
Xander: And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.
Buffy: La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?
Willow: No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.'
Buffy: Maybe that's what I was feeling.
Willow: And you said it wrong.
Buffy: Oh, je stink.
Xander: C'mon, one dance. You've been studying nearly twelve minutes.
Buffy: No wonder my brain's fried.
Spike: Nice work, love.
Buffy: Who are you?
Spike: You'll find out on Saturday.
Buffy: What happens on Saturday?
Spike: I kill you.
Willow: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different...Why do they call it a mace?
Xander: Okay, that's it. I'm puttin' a collar with a little bell on that guy.
Xander: Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?
Cordelia: You sure don't.
Cordelia: My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?
Xander: Three minutes.
Cordelia: So, can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly. We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax.
Buffy: Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing.
Cordelia: Yeah, and I can see the oil.
Spike: Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?
Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed!
Spike: People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!
Xander: I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.
Spike: You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!
Angel: Things change.
Buffy: Do we really need weapons for this?
Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly.
Joyce: You get the hell away from my daughter!
Jenny: Well, another wonderful fun-filled evening.
Giles: Uh, yes. You know, um, I will understand if you decide to start avoiding me.
Cordelia: And if you get me out of this, I swear I'll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless they *really* deserve it. Or if it's that time of the month, in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible...
Willow: Ask for some aspirin.
Cordelia: And can you please send some asp... Hey!
Spike: From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual... and a little more fun around here.
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