SUMMARY: Sometimes, just when you thought you had everything figured out, you realize that you know nothing. And that's exactly what Spike is about to find out when going to Italy to warn his former lover of impending doom.

RATING: NC-17

DISCLAIMER: BTVS is property of Joss Whedon. I own nothing.

SPOILERS: Inspired by the first book of the comics Buffy season 8. You don't need to have read it to understand what's going on, but it will spoil you if you haven't read it yet.

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CHAPTER 12: The best thing a girl could give

Buffy pushed everybody out of her room and shut the door, then let out a shaky breath. She leaned against the wooden door and shut her eyes for a moment. She had the beginning of a migraine forming right between her brows and wanted nothing more than to sleep for a week. When she opened her eyes again they instantly focused on Spike resting on her bed.

Iris had done the best she could, stitched him up and gave him something to make him sleep; his vampire constitution would do the rest. But for now, he looked like a corpse and the sight made her heart break. He needed to heal fast and his body needed blood in order to do that. Buffy walked with determination to her desk where her leather jacket hung from the back of a chair. She looked in the jacket and found her pocket knife, then went back to the bed where she sat, careful not to disturb Spike.

She put the knife on the pillow next to her and, as gently as she could, she picked him up and moved him so his head was resting in the crook of her shoulder. A little moan escaped his lips.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "It won't hurt much longer."

Buffy had heard stories about Slayer blood and how fast it could heal a vampire. She was going to test that theory. She knew how quickly it worked for poison, but she wasn‘t sure what it would do for such a serious injury.

The first aid kit was open on the bed. It wasn't meant for Spike, it was for her.

She grabbed the knife and without a moment of hesitation, cut her wrist open. He had died for her and the world once, she wasn't going to be squeamish about sharing some of her blood with him. If she could do it for Angel back in the days when he had been poisoned, the hell is she wasn't going to do the same for Spike now.

She watched the blood seep to the surface of the wound, then brought it to Spike's lips. The ruby red blood dripped on his parted lips. Most of it dripped from the corner of his mouth, but the little that ran down his throat was enough to awaken his instincts. Soon, he started swallowing, then his lips latched on to her wrist.

A warm, peaceful feeling filled her heart, which was a nice change from the turmoil of the past hours. Nothing had ever felt so right to her as sharing her life force with him. If someone had earned this gift, it was him.

With her other hand, Buffy caressed his hair, encouraging him to drink. "Come on, Spike, the more you drink, the faster we can get back to our arguing, and hot make up sex. Don't lie, I know you missed it."

"OK fine, maybe not the fighting. I promise no more fighting. I'll be good... All sugar, no spice. Well, maybe a little spice. How boring life would be without a little bit of bitchiness, right? You know you love it." A blush tinted her cheeks and she shook her head, feeling silly for talking to herself. “One way conversation, how lame. I never did like awkward silences.”

She was starting to feel a little woozy and wondered how long she could let him drink from her until she would risk passing out when the pulling stopped and Spike tried to turn his head away.

Buffy tried to bring her bleeding wrist back to his mouth, but he groaned in protest and turn his head further away.

"Buffy.." He mumbled, his voice hoarse.

Spike's eyes were open and he looked confused.

"I'm right here."

She awkwardly reached for the gauze and wrapped her wrist with it to stop the bleeding, then tore the end with her teeth.

"You gave me your blood."

"Yes."

"You shouldn't have."

She huffed. "Whatever."

"I could have killed you."

"I'm a big girl, Spike, I would have stopped you. And see, I didn't have to, you stopped all by yourself. I trust you."

Spike shut his eyes and winced in pain.

"Sleep for a little while. When you wake up, you should be better."

He nodded weakly. “But we’ll still have to talk about it later... When I feel better. Right now, I pretty much feel like... like I got cut in half.”

She didn’t smile. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t see the humor in what he said. “Not funny. You could have died.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be funny. Just trying to make it sound a little less dramatic , is all.”

“Sleep.” She whispered while running her fingers through his hair. “We‘ll talk tomorrow.”

Buffy reached to turn the bedside light off, and quickly fell asleep too. It was nearly morning and she was so tired. The evening, and the night that followed, had been emotionally exhausting. Not to mention the blood she just lost.

Her sleep was anything but restful--marred by strange dreams, something about Spike, the army and black magic. A knock on the door awakened her only a few hours later. She didn’t answer but it started again, more insistently.

“Buffy, I know you didn’t want to be disturbed, but we’re all waiting for you.” Giles’ voice came from the other side of the door.

“Go away!”

Spike stirred against her and groaned.

“Normally, I would allow you this moment of selfishness--God knows you deserve it after everything you sacrificed this year--but one of the girls died last night. You need to be there.”

Buffy quickly but carefully extracted herself from underneath Spike and went to open the door. “What?” Her face was pale and her voice was barely above a whisper.

Giles looked like he could barely stand on his feet. “I’m sorry to announce it to you that way, but I was afraid you wouldn’t have opened the door otherwise.”

“Who?” Buffy asked.

“Aubrey. Six of the girls got attacked during patrol last night and she didn’t make it. I called her father already, he’s on his way.”

Buffy nodded, tears streaming down her face. “I almost forgot she grew up not to far from here. God... She didn’t deserve this.”

“I don’t want to sound insensitive because believe me, I am completely heartbroken over this, but it’s the life of a Slayer, Buffy. It’s been your life since you were sixteen. Risking death every night, that’s what Slayers do. You were just never meant to see it since for another Slayer to be called, you should technically be dead yourself. But now that all potentials have become Slayers, it’s bound to happen. You died when you were sixteen, and again a few years later. You didn‘t deserve it either.”

“I know. I just wish I could protect them all. Train them so well that nothing would ever get the best of them.”

“It’s not possible, Buffy. Even the best fighter in the world can get distracted for a second. You can’t keep them all safe, it’s impossible. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself.”

She looked down. “I can’t help it, Giles.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “I know. Go get dressed, we’re all waiting downstairs.”

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Angel opened the trap to the sewer system and jumped in. Molly stopped dead in her tracks, sudden distrust darkening her eyes. She crossed her arms and waited knowing he would come back when he'd realize she wasn't following. Her friends might tease her and call her Tinkerbell to piss her off because of her short pixie cut and her delicate features, but she was no dumb blonde. Some dude she just met--and who happened to suck blood--invites her home to fix her injury and have a cup of coffee, then tries to lure her into the sewer?! He was not THAT good looking.

The vampire's head reappeared through the manhole as predicted, his thick brows drawn together in confusion. "What's the matter? Aren't you coming?" He asked, clearly not seeing what the problem was.

Molly huffed and looked at him funny. "You gonna tell me you live in the sewers? Look buddy, I'm not that idiotic."

If she hadn't been so dead serious, she might have laughed at the look on Angel's face.

"What? Oh. I don't live down there. I set up shop in the basement of the Hyperion, but the building is condemned and I want it to stay that way so I use the sewer access. You thought... I wanted to kill you?" The vampire sounded almost incredulous.

Molly shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I just met you. And based on what I've seen in the movies, vampires aren't exactly nice. Except maybe in that lame ass porn movie I saw once.” She blushed. “Yeah... Never mind that."

Angel smirked. "Molly, if I was evil, I could kill you in the middle of a mall on a Saturday afternoon. I wouldn't need to get you to a dark and deserted place. But I have a soul. I won't hurt you."

She thought about it for a second then nodded. "Fine. But just so you know, I have holy water and a stake."

He tried not to smile. "Fair enough. Let's go."

Molly followed him down the manhole while keeping a safe distance between them just in case. A few minutes later, he opened the lock on a heavy metal door and opened it for her. She found herself in a large enough room that had obviously been decorated by a man. Lamps with dark shades, a black and blue velvet couch that had seen better days, an unmade bed in the far corner, and a tiny kitchen corner that looked like it had never been used.

Angel dropped his leather jacket on the back of an armchair. "Make yourself a home. I'll be right back."

He got his first aid kit out of a cupboard as well as a wet washcloth, and came to sit on front of her. "Let's see it."

Molly pulled her shirt up and over her head, showing no sign of embarrassment at being in her bra in front of a stranger.

Angel did his best to focus his attention on her wound and not on her lace covered breasts.

"Is it deep?" She asked worriedly.

"Doesn't look like."

"You know," Molly observed, "this is starting to look an awful lot like that porn movie I was talking about."

Angel wasn't the type of man who laughed easily, but this time it came out spontaneously.

She blushed a little. “Sorry, I just think humor makes some situations a little less awkward.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s good to laugh once in a while. I haven’t done it in a long time.”

She let him finish cleaning up the blood from her abdomen before wrapping her in white bandages, then she put her shirt back on.

“Good as new.” Angel said.

“Thank you.” She said sincerely.

He went to put everything away, then back to the kitchen to make coffee for her.

“So you said you’ve been looking for me?” Angel asked. “May I ask why?”

He brought her a cup of steaming coffee. Molly thanked him then took a sip. It took her everything she had not to grimace the second the bitter liquid touched her tongue. This stuff would make hospital coffee taste like Starbucks.

“Yes. Well, not specifically.” She answered after swallowing with much difficulty. She put the cup down to avoid the risk of taking another sip while distracted. “It’s a long story and maybe I should start from the beginning.”

Angel nodded, giving her all his attention.

“I’m in the army and a while ago I got reassigned to a new project in Sunnydale, California. Did you know the place was buried a little more than a year ago?”

He nodded carefully, hesitant to tell her what he actually knew before knowing the full story.

“Anyway, they said it was caused by a localized earthquake, but that was a cover up. They had us digging for months, trying to uncover evidence of what really happened. They kept us in the dark though. I’m high enough in rank to overhear things, but nothing gets explained to me. It‘s all about ‘follow orders, don‘t ask questions‘. ”

“What does it have to do with me?” Angel asked, but he had a sinking feeling that he already knew. He remembered the conversation with Spike over a week ago and easily put two and two together.

“About a week ago, maybe more, I met another vampire. I didn't know vampires and demons existed at the time by the way. He broke into the temporary base we have on the Sunnydale site to steal information on the person we think is responsible for destroying the town. Security is shit there. I was involved in the whole thing so I had a debriefing from my superior. A lot of things that were said in the debriefing made me start doubting the real purpose of the research we’re doing. I needed to know if I was really on the side of the good guys so I did my own research, and when I read about Buffy Summers and Spike, your name also came up.”

“And that’s why you were looking for me. To get information on Buffy.”

“Do you know her?”

He didn’t answer.

“Angel, I’m not here to try to find out where she is. I won’t even ask. I’m not stupid: if you’re friends with her, or Spike, you have every reason not to trust me knowing I work for the army and they’re after them. But I need to know if my gut feeling is true. If she is a terrorist like they say, then I’m not gonna lie to you... I’ll keep helping them find her. But if you tell me they’re wrong, I’ll do what’s right.”

“I know her.” He said cautiously.

She stared, waiting for him to continue, but he didn't. “Ookay. That’s a start I guess. Could you be just a tad bit more helpful? Please?”

“I know her very well. Dated her, actually.”

“I thought she was with this Spike guy. He looked pretty devastated when he found out we had labeled her ‘terrorist’... Wait, why do I sense a love triangle?”

The vampire groaned and she laughed.

“Damn I’m good!” Molly smirked, pleased with herself.

“I don’t know what’s going on between them now, but me and her used to date back in my Sunnydale days. So I know her pretty well. Or at least I knew her then. I haven’t talked to her in a long time, but I assure you she is not a terrorist.”

“What is she then? Is she a vampire too?”

“Have you ever heard of the term ‘Slayer’?”

“The band?”

“Uh... no. A Slayer is a girl who is chosen by birthright to protect the world against demons. One dies and another one is chosen. They’ve existed almost as long as demons. Their purpose is to balance the odds between good and evil. That’s what Buffy is. Things have changed now, but I’ll get to this later.”

“OK. But what does this have to do with the disappearance of Sunnydale?”

“Buffy was sent to Sunnydale after she got called as a Slayer because Sunnydale is what we call a Hellmouth.”

“As in... The mouth of Hell? Literally?”

“Yes.” He answered without a hint of humor in his voice. “And a little more than a year ago, things... went to Hell.” He grinned, happy with his own joke. “I don’t know all that much because I was here in L.A. dealing with my own problems at the time, but from what I heard, potential Slayers were getting killed all around the world and a war was preparing. Some entity called The First Evil used a disturbance between good and evil to get stronger and tried to open the Hellmouth. That thing wanted to release an army of pure vampires on the world. We’re talking tens of thousands.”

“Pure vampires? What’s that? Aren’t you pure?”

“I’m not exactly sure what they were. Pretty much like a vampire without the human disguise. Stronger and much worse than us. Long story short, I found some kind of necklace that was supposed to save the day. Buffy’s friend did a spell that got all the potentials Slayers turned into Slayers, they all went into the Hellmouth, fought, Spike wore the necklace and toward the end of the battle, the thing destroyed everything. Buffy and the others barely escaped. Sunnydale basically collapsed on itself. But the town was deserted at the time. Things had been bad for a while and people had left.”

Molly was staring straight ahead and not saying a word, trying to take it all in. This story was about as far from any plausible explanations she might have come up with herself as could be.

Angel waited patiently for her to say something.

She finally opened her mouth. “Not what I was expecting.”

He smiled. “Guess not.”

“So basically--and tell me if I got this wrong--Buffy, Spike and all these girls, kinda, sorta, saved our asses. And when I say ‘our’, I mean the whole damn world. Or at least America... Do these things know how to take the plane or the boat?”

Angel laughed. “They might have figured it out eventually.”

“And us, dumb asses, are calling her a terrorist and turning her into a wanted woman.” She made a disgusted face. “I knew there was something wrong with this whole thing. It’s crazy though because you would have told me this story a week ago and it would have never occur to me to even think it might be true. And now, I’m just taking your word for it.”

“I supposed that once you discover that vampires do exist, it makes it a lot easier to believe a story about Slayers, demons, witches and end of the world.”

She nodded wistfully. “That it does.”

“How are they trying to find Buffy?” Angel asked.

“I’m not sure. But I broke into General Voll’s email account--that’s the guy in charge of the operation by the way--and found a cryptic email about a friend of Buffy helping them. She’s a witch I think. I can’t remember her name. Some Jewish last name and a name that had something to do with a tree." Molly frowned and shook her head. "Sorry, I can’t remember.”

The vampire sat up straighter. “What?”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Did it sound anything like Willow Rosenberg?”

Her face lit up. “That’s it! I knew it was a tree!”

Angel stood up abruptly and walked to a phone.

“What are you doing? What’s wrong? Are you calling Buffy?”

“I don’t think she would take my call.” He mumbled darkly. “We’re not exactly on speaking terms anymore. But I need to know what’s going on. Willow would never betray Buffy.”

“Who will you call?”

“There’s another Slayer I kept in touch with. She will know if something is up.”

“You’ll wake her up at this time of the night? It’s 3am.”

Angel smirked. “For Faith, that’s early.”

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Spike woke up, but kept his eyes shut. He could feel Buffy, not only around him, but inside of him as well. He finally remembered why and it made him open his eyes.

Buffy was sitting on the end of the bed, her back turned to him. Her shoulders were slumped and she was rubbing circles on her temples. He had always been able to tell by her body language when she felt she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and this was one of those moments.

Feeling watched, she turned her head to the side to look at him. Her eyes were red rimmed and her face was pale.

She stood up slowly and walked around the bed to his side. She sat carefully.

He didn’t say anything.

“Let me see.” She said quietly.

He watched her small hands carefully undoing the bandage around his abdomen only to reveal a long scar that ran in a straight line from his lower stomach to just below his sternum. It was dark pink and a stark contrast with his pale skin, but it was healing nicely thanks to her powerful blood.

“How does it feel?”

“Doesn’t feel quite right yet, but there’s not much pain. A day or two and I should be right as rain.”

She nodded.

“Are you OK, pet?”

She gave him a brave little smile. “Not really.”

Buffy rewrapped the bandage around him without another word. Spike knew better than to push her to share her feelings so he shut his mouth.

She stood up and kicked off her heels. She took her black pencil skirt off, then her blouse. Dressed in only her panties and bra she climbed on the bed and curled up next to him, then pulled the comforter over both of them.

With a little bit of effort but minimal pain and a discrete wince, Spike managed to turn himself on his side and wrap his arms around her. He inhaled the smell of her hair and memories came flooding back. The last time he had held her this way was the night before the battle of the Hellmouth. Their faces were so close that he wouldn't have to move to kiss her. But he didn't have to do it, she did.

Her lips were barely touching his, like a warm butterfly's wing, tentative and hesitant. A child tasting hot chocolate and afraid to burn herself. Tears had started falling from her closed eyes, wetting her dark lashes and running down the side of her face. She got hungry and started to kiss him more firmly. He parted his lips and let her explore his mouth and get reacquainted with him at her own rhythm.

Buffy slipped one of her arm around his neck to gently hold him to her, and clutched at his shoulder with her other hand.

Spike wanted to just enjoy the moment, take comfort in the lazy kiss and the fact that he was with her again. But emotions were running high after the events of the past couple of days and it was difficult for him not to want more. Story of his life with Buffy Summers: it was never enough. Despite the physical pain he was starting to feel again, he tried to get closer and he intensified the kiss. He was hoping she could feel just how much he still loved her and that their separation had had nothing to do with his feelings for her.

Soon, she felt his erection pressing snuggly against her thigh. Reluctantly and with a disappointed sigh, Buffy gently pushed against his shoulder to move away.

“Spike...”

“Um.”

“Not now. I’m sorry.” She whispered, then place another quick, gentle kiss on his lips. “You’re injured, you need to rest. We both do.”

He nodded, as much as it pained him to admit it. The surface wound might have healed already, but he wasn‘t so sure about his guts.

Buffy helped him to his back then reclaimed her position against his shoulder.

“Later.” She whispered against his ear. “If you’re better and after we talk.”

“Yeah. Later.” He answered sleepily. “Got tons to talk about don’t we, pet... We’ll be OK though, right?”

She kissed the side of his neck. “I know it.”

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Outside help

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