Sweet dreams
Have some Faith series part 1
SUMMARY: Faith is back, and she's pissed. She's sick and tired of always being second best, always being put aside from all the fun. She's the chosen one after all; she should be the only one! She should rule this pathetic world and she will, no matter what Buffy Summers has to say about it. And unfortunately for Buffy, she pushed away the only ally she has, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. Is it the beginning of the end for her, or will Spike come back home to help her as he always does?DISCLAIMER: Those incredibly entertaining characters were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him. I'm only borrowing them to entertain myself and others. Please, no lawsuit!
RATING FOR THIS PART: PG-13 OVERALL RATING FOR THE SERIES: NC-17
SPOILER: set a couple months after Grave. Yep, Spike's gone
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"Hey B, how's it going?"Buffy turned around and instinctively dropped into a fighting stance.
"Faith... " The dark hair girl stood nonchalantly in front of her, the patented irritating Faith smirk on her face. She was repeatedly slamming her fist in her palm, tensed and ready to fight.
"Geez I love that feeling..." The brunette said, her dark eyes locked with Buffy’s hazel ones.
"What feeling?" Buffy asked, knowing the answer she would get.
"The happy feeling I get every time I'm about to kick your skinny ass."
The brunette slayer pulled out a knife that Buffy recognized instantly.
"And I do believe, if we want to be fair B, that it's my turn to stick this beauty in your guts. Isn’t it the way it goes?… Your turn my turn, right? And I assure you I'll have a gay ol time doing it."
To make sure Buffy got her point; she kicked her across the face.
"And then..."
Other kick in the stomach.
"I'll celebrate with your vamptoy. You know I always have a soft spot for your boyfriends..."
All of a sudden, the street started moving and cracking underneath their feet. The buildings around them were in flames and the sky turned blood red.
Buffy started fighting for her life against her sister slayer, giving blow for blow, kick for kick. Faith laughed.
"I'll bring that town down... and why stop there? I'll bring the world down with it."
"And then what? You'll be Queen of Hell? How fitting!" Buffy snickered
Another burst of annoying laughter from the rogue slayer.
"Indeed B. And I think I'll make a hell of a Queen. You could be my slave. I'll throw a party, and you'll entertain my guests. How ‘bout that girlfriend? Sounds like a freakin’ good idea to me.”
"Yeah, you can keep dr..."
As she started speaking, Faith took the opportunity to throw Buffy on the ground, immobilizing her, the knife on her throat.
"Sorry, you were saying B?” She lowered her head so her lips were almost touching Buffy’s ear “Take one last look at this world, cause it's time for you to go princess.” She pronounced every word carefully, the way she would if explaining something complicated to a child.
Buffy looked up, and saw Spike sitting on the sidewalk looking at them. "Spike! Help me... You have to stop her."
At first, she thought he didn't hear her because he didn’t move. Then, he crushed his cigarette, and looked away. "Sorry luv. No can do.”
“Wh.. What?… Spike?”
“I didn't think that would happen, but it did. I’ve had enough. You’ve hurt me too much Summers." Buildings were now falling down everywhere. Screaming could be heard but the streets were empty. Buffy could feel the heat of the blazing fires.
"And that's what you are Buffy: hurt. Everything about you hurts. Loving you is a painful thing. You told me once that I’m in love with pain. You were wrong. I was in love with you. But you pushed me to my limit. Now I won't help you because I can’t be near you. I need to get away from you. Take care of the psycho bird yourself luv. You don’t need me. You made it quite clear.”
He got up and started walking away.
"Spike!! Please, no..."
"Someone just got dumped." Faith said in Buffy's ear with a sing song voice. "I think he's on my side now B. Too bad, he was trying so hard at being good.... But little Miss Muffet has been a naughty girl, and now he's not coming back. Too bad for you, he was kinda cute."
"Spike... come back" Buffy said one last time before feeling the blade cutting into her skin.
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Buffy bolted upright in her bed, sweating, her hands going instinctively around her throat. A dream. Just a dream. She let herself back down on the bed with a “humph” and took a few deep breaths to try calming down and will her body to stop shaking.
Fear was now gripping her throat while she was replaying the dream in her head, trying to figure out what it meant. I had been a Slayer’s dream; there were no doubts. Easy enough to figure out: cryptic messages, apocalyptic setting…
“Fuck!” Buffy mumbled to herself before furiously pushing her thick duvet away and jumping out of bed. “Just what I needed.”
She got dressed in a record time and ran down the stairs. Walking past Dawn, she didn’t even glance in her direction.
"Good morning to you too Buffy." Her little sister said sarcastically. "Where are you going like that?"
"I'll be back." And she walked out the door without any more explanations.
The girl didn’t pay much attention to Buffy’s weird attitude. One of the perks of having The Slayer as your only family, you get used to the weirdness after a while.
Like every morning, Buffy took a second to look at the mail. Hoping. A letter, maybe. Just a note. Something to let her know he didn't stake himself, or stop loving her. No. Even if he hated her, just a few words so she would know he was still undead somewhere in this world, would be enough. But like every morning, there was nothing in the mailbox.
It had taken her a long time to get to the point where she was in her heart. A lot of struggles and long sleepless nights, torn between love and hate, forgiveness and accusations, missing him and… hating herself for missing him. A lot of things had been broken, a lot of tears had been shed, but she managed to work things out in her head and in her heart in the end. She accepted things that happened between her and Spike, good and bad, and put them where they belonged: in the past. She accepted her feelings for the vampire and was willing to finally face them. Only one problem though… he wasn’t there. Had been missing since that God awful night a few months ago, and was a no show ever since. No one had heard of him. He just disappeared without a trace. And what worried Buffy the most was that Spike was stubborn enough that if he ever decided never to come back… he could possibly do it.
*Nononono. Don’t think about that you idiot! Dream now, bad Spike thoughts later.*
She took off running to get to the Magic Box as soon as possible.
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Buffy burst into the newly renovated magic shop out of breath. And for The Slayer to be out of breath, it takes quite a lot of running... She had run from all the way across town without stopping, at full Slayer speed, eager to find out about the dream and discuss it with Giles.
"Buffy?.. Apocalypse again? I knew it. I had that feeling this morning when I woke up...." Anya started without looking up from the cash register.
"Where is Giles?" Buffy asked right away, not in the mood for being patient with the vengeance demon.
"I'm here" Giles said, coming out of the basement, a box in his hands. "What's going on?"
"End of the world." Anya said casually, still looking at the money, placing each bill carefully in its own little compartment.
Giles almost tripped over the carpet, but caught himself just in time.
"I never said that Anya" Buffy said rolling her eyes.
"Ok, so it's not the Apocalypse then. My bad."
"I didn't say that either..."
"So it is the..."
"Argh!!! Giles! Training room. Now!"
Frustrated, Buffy stomped her way to the new training room, Giles following in her tracks. The watcher was already taking his glasses off in expectation of what was to come.
"Is everything alright Buffy?" He asked his slayer with concern.
"Yes... No.. Well, I'm not exactly sure. I had a dream."
"Slayer dream?"
"Yes, and in more than one way."
Giles stopped cleaning his glasses and looked up at her curiously. "What do you mean exactly by that?"
"For one thing, it felt like a slayer dream, AND Faith was in it."
"Faith?"
Buffy told Giles about her dream. She was a little reluctant to tell him about Spike, but she did anyway, feeling it could be important.
"Buffy, this is none of my business and you know that I would never be prying into your private life if I didn’t have to, but I'm a little concerned. Didn't you tell me that what happened between you and Spike was purely..."
"Sexual? Yeah, I might have said that." Buffy answered, blushing at how blunt she had been.
"And it isn't true?"
"No. I mean, yes!.." she sighed "It's more complicated then that Giles."
“All right. Why don’t you try explaining it to me then?”
Buffy looked nervously down at her fingers, uncomfortable under her watcher's scrutiny.
"Ok. I, I might have feelings for him. And that includes incredible guilt for how bad I've messed up with his head and his feelings last year. “
"Buffy. You don't have to feel guilty about..."
"Giles! Please, let me finish. You're wrong. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, about everything. And I think I’ve figured a few things out. About life, love, my job as the Slayer… the world in general. I had a way of seeing things before, and Spike helped me realize that I was wrong. Everything is not always black and white. I see it now. I use to think there is the soulful, and the soulless. The people, and the monsters. But soulful people can be monsters. And a soulless demon can want to change and do something good. And if a monster tries hard at going against his true nature, and instead of helping him , encouraging him, you deny his every effort and push him in the wrong direction... I think that makes you the monster. I hurt Spike, lying to him about my feelings, making him believe I was only using him when in fact, I was only ashamed of loving him. And I shouldn’t have been. I should have been proud. But most of all, I never acknowledged the fact that he was trying hard. Never gave him a word of encouragement. I'm sorry Giles, but I think I'm right to feel bad about myself."
Giles looked stunned. He was silent for a minute, trying to take everything in. Buffy got worried, but he smiled at her and in a very none British manner, he reached out and stroke her cheek affectionately.
"I am so proud of you Buffy. You've grown to be quite an amazing person."
"So you don't think I'm crazy?"
"Not at all. I’m mostly impressed with you actually. The way you understand the world around you, your instincts, your sense of moral and logic, go way beyond those of The Slayers that preceded you in history. The more you grow up, the more it is obvious to me that you are still here for a reason: because you can. So don’t ever beat yourself up over uncertainties. When you feel unsure, chances are you’re probably on the right track."
He stood up to leave the training room.
"Giles?.. About Faith?"
"Uh, right. Faith. I'll call the prison to make sure she's still there. I will let you know what I find out tonight, and we will work from there." He reached for the doorknob, but paused for a moment. “Buffy, I doubt Faith is on the run or the council would have contacted us. But there is still a chance of that happening. She’s proved to be quite resourceful in the past when it comes to making your life miserable. Just… be prepared for the worst.”
“I will Giles… I will.”
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After the last Scooby left the store, Giles went behind the counter and poured himself a scotch. He took in his surroundings. The place still wasn’t opened for business, but it was a long way from what it was when they started the renovations… Or was it reconstruction? When Willow had been done with the place, on the night he liked to refer to as possibly the worst night of their lives, it was nothing but rubbles. Now, the back part had been restored to almost its original state, and the front wall and front window were also back in place. Only some carpentry needed to be done, but Xander was on it. About a week, and the Magic Box would be back in business.
But things would never be the same for the ones Giles secretly called his children. The scoobies. They’ve had to readjust to practically everything. Everything they knew to be true, had to be rewritten. Tara was dead. Anya was a demon again. Willow had proved that when push comes to shove, she’d had it in her to kill humans. Now she had to spend half her days meditating, and trying to rebuild her relationships with her friends and himself. Buffy was… Well, she was unhappy to say the least. And Spike was far away and probably not coming back. *Idiot vampire* Giles thought to himself while pouring himself another glass of scotch. Only Xander and Dawn seemed to be doing all right.
He shook his head, contemplating the mess that was their lives, as he sat himself down at the round table they used for Scooby meetings. Once again, he found himself in the middle of things. A situation he had been in so many times over the years. They were all looking up to him for answers he wasn’t sure he could find. Waiting for him to fix everything up. And God knew he wanted to. But he also knew that it didn’t depend on him only. Too many players involved this time around. Too many tempers and feelings to deal with.
He had known for a long time his Slayer was in love with the blond vampire. Actually, it hit him in the face the night he came back and she had admitted sleeping with Spike while he was away in England. She had said it like it was nothing, but he knew deep down what the truth was. Nevertheless, he had hoped that with Spike gone, she’d move on and forget about him. But tonight, Giles had the confirmation that it wouldn’t happen, and he honestly didn’t know what to do to help her. So he did the only thing he could.
Giles took the cordless phone and dialed the long number to England. A familiar voice answered.
"Hello Spike, it's Giles... How are you holding on?"
"I'll live. Not literally, of course, but that's just a technicality." The vampire answered, his tone dull and lifeless.
"Is my flat still standing?"
"Don't worry 'bout your flat, mate, I'm taking great care of it.” he said before asking innocently: “When you said I could use whatever I need, that included that expensive bottle of scotch hidden underneath your bed, right?"
"Spike... I don't want to know."
"Hey, how's a bloke s'pose to deal with the whole soul thing? Do you have any idea what I'm going through right now? Is it not worth a bloody bottle of scotch? Do you..."
"Spike. Please. You can do whatever you want in order to deal with this, um, situation. Drink whatever horribly expensive scotch I own, I don’t bloody care. Are you getting any better?"
"Yeah. I'm dealing. Just trying to avoid turning into a self pity poof master like Angel, is all."
“Good. That’s… good.” Giles cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Spike, when.. when do you think... you will be able to come back to Sunnydale?"
"..."
"Spike? Are you still there?"
"I am."
"Is there any way for you to tell me when?"
"No. I can't bloody well tell you because I don't know. Hell I don't even know if I'm ever going back at all."
Silence.
"She needs you."
More silence.
"She doesn't need me. She'll never need me. She made this quite clear."
"Spike..."
"NO. Look Watcher, I'm very grateful that you're helping me in such a hard time, but if you're planning on bugging me to go back to Sunnyhell, I'd rather try to make it on my own. I'm not going back to this bloody hellhole, and I don't want to hear about it."
"This is understandable. She told me everything that happened and she feels quite horrible about..."
"DON'T. WANT. TO HEAR. IT."
"Alright. I'm never going to mention it again. All I wanted was for you to know that something terrible is going to happen, and for some reason, you seem to be the only one who could help. Now that you know about it, you can make a decision and do what you feel is right."
"Fine."
"You know that if you need anything..."
"I know Giles. Thank you." and after an hesitation:
"Giles?"
"Yes?"
"Don't..."
"I won't tell her."
"Thanks mate."
They both hung up, and Giles banged his head on the table in a very none-British way. “Dear Lord, save me from stubborn vampires, confused Slayers, out of control witches, money obsessed vengeance demons… shall I go on?”
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"I'm not sure this was such a good idea Dawny. There's something bad coming up, I can feel it, and I'm not sure you're quite ready for the big fight yet."
Dawn sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at her sister. "Yeah. Because you patrolling alone while you're all distracted because of God-knows-what is soooo much smarter?"
"I'll have you know that I'm the Slayer. Even distracted, I can still hold my own. You are a Scooby-in-training. You may have natural talent with a sword, but that doesn't make you a warrior. And I'm so not distracted!.. I'm focus girl!"
Dawn snorted and started walking again. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her sister, but something definitely WAS way wrong. Though she did have her little theory about that. Buffy might still see her as her baby sister, but she wasn’t stupid or blind. Buffy had been getting weirder and weirder, and spacing out an awful lot, right after that night when she found out Spike was gone. Ok, it could also have been because of the show down with Willow… But now, things had mostly gotten back to normal with Willow and it didn’t make Buffy go back to normal. She was still missing the main point of most conversations, staring at walls, putting salt in her coffee… Heck, Dawn had even been able to get in a good punch to her sister’s nose during training yesterday! That said it all according to the teenage girl. *I’m good* She thought smugly, *but not good enough to accomplish that when Buff is in her normal state of mind*
They were done patrolling, and the two girls were now making their way to the crypt in a silent agreement.
"Wanna say hello to Clem?"
"Sure"
But even though Clem was a nice guy and they liked him very much, the visit had nothing to do with the fact that the girls missed him or not. Just being in Spike's crypt made them feel like he was out to get cigarettes and spicy wings, and he would be walking through the door any minutes. Dawn missed Spike just as much as her big sis and secretly blamed her for the loss of her best friend. But she had stopped being bitchy about it awhile ago, seeing how upset Buffy seemed to be about the vampire's departure.
On their way to the crypt, they walked by the old high school. Lights were still on at the construction site, giving the old half destroyed building an eerie glow.
Buffy shivered. "How creepy is that. I cannot believe they're going to make you go to that school. Do you have any idea how many people died in there?"
"Thanks for freaking me out even more than I already was."
Buffy smiled. "You're welcomed!"
Both girls stopped for a second to look at the building. Both having the same sinking feeling at the pit of their stomach. It was nine-thirty at night and the sun had set a long time ago. So why was the construction team still there working on the building? When Xander was working on a project, he was always back home right after sunset.
“Construction sites are already dangerous enough,” he once told them, “no need to make it worst by working in the dark unless it’s a special project and we have to hurry. Then we add some spotlights to see what we’re doing. But that basically never happens”.
But why would they be in such a hurry to finish Sunnydale High of all places? It was already too late to get it ready in time for school to start. Therefore, they still had quite a few months in front of them to finish it in time for next year. So why would they work after dark? *Unless of course there’s something Hellmouthy going on over there…
* Buffy frowned at her own not-so-pleasant thoughts.
"Why do you think the city would decide to reconstruct Sunnydale High anyway?" Dawn asked, more than a little worried herself at the idea that she would be forced to attend the same school her sister had to go to. The youngest Summers had heard so many horror stories about this place. Seemed like all her sister had been doing during the three years she had gone to that school was to try to stay alive, and try to keep everyone else alive as well.
"That I don't know Dawny. I really don't know."
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END OF THE FIRST PART
