Forgive and forget

SUMMARY: Dawn is on a mission: to get Spike back to Sunnydale. But will she succeed where Giles failed? Doesn't matter. Her sister is a wreck, and Sunnydale needs a Slayer more than ever because something bad is definitely on it's way.

DISCLAIMER: The characters are all Joss' masterpiece. But the story is mine though.

RATED: PG-13 (yeah, I know, I know, just be patient ok?)

SPOILER: end of the summer after Graves, season 7 never happened

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn burst into the Summer's house calling her sister at the top of her lungs.

"Buffy?.. Buffy!!"

She dropped her heavy backpack and ran up the stairs.

"Buffy, are you there? You won't believe what just happened. These weird guys..." The brunette teenager threw her sister's bedroom door open, but she wasn't there.

"Crap. I forgot she's working today."

After missing a few days of work during the Willow's psycho killer phase, Buffy had gotten fired from the Double meat palace. But she soon found a more fitting job as a kickboxing instructor at the local gym. She was now working four days a week, and Wednesday was one of those days.

Dawn was about to close the door behind her when a red box on Buffy's bed caught her attention.

"Whooo Dawny... Jackpot!" she stopped and thought about it for a second. "Bad girl,” she said out loud to no one in particular. “you promised no more snooping around in your sister's stuff." She giggled happily, then shrugs.

"What the hell, she just had to put it away. It's like an open invitation or something."

The girl bounced excitedly on the bed before grabbing the small box full of papers. She picked one of the letters out of the box. *Ummm, this is gonna be even better than her diary* Then clearing her throat, she started reading out loud.

Dear Spike I feel a little stupid for writing you this letter knowing that you'll never read it. But there's some stuff I needed to tell you and I was hoping this would make me feel better. I never thought I'd ever say something like that to you, never in a million years, but... I miss you. More than it's possible to miss someone. I miss you since the very second Clem said: Spike is gone.

Dawn stared at the letter in her hands with wide eyes. She frantically went through the box, taking a quick look at every letters. All more or less the same. About fifty letters. Love letters to be more specific. Lots of "I miss you", "I love you", and "I'm sorry". She dropped the box on the bed and started laughing uncontrollably, holding her painful ribs.

"Oh. My. God! Buffy! THAT's what's wrong with her?!? My sister is sooo lame, couldn't she realize that BEFORE he left?"

Dawn gathered all the letters and put them back in the box. *Buffy can't do anything right. She's lucky to have me.* She thought smugly.

She ran back down the stairs, grabbing her backpack on her way out. Once outside, she stopped for a second to look at her watch. 3pm. Buffy would be at the Magic box at 6. That left her with three hours to find the address, write a letter, send the package and run to the Magic box. Piece of cake.

*Yeah, especially since no one knows where the hell he is* she thought sarcastically.

She started walking towards the cemetery. *Ok. Spike has like one friend. Clem. He HAS to know something.*

Clem had claimed to be completely clueless about Spike's whereabouts, but they hadn't insisted all that much. Maybe if she’d annoy him long enough, he'd remember a detail, something Spike could have said before leaving...

Lost in her thoughts, Dawn realized that she had made it all the way to the crypt without even thinking about it. She pushed the crypt's door open.

"Clem?" Dawn walked into the crypt, not waiting for an invitation. "Clem are you in there? I need to talk to you."

Clem climbed out of the rabbit hole, yawning.

"Hi sweetie, how's it going?"

"Oh Clem, were you sleeping? I'm so sorry!"

"Nah, that's fine. I've been up late watching the Back to the future marathon on TV. I should get up anyway. What brings you here?"

Dawn slumped down on the couch, the little box still held tight between her hands. She looked at the floppy ears demon straight in the eyes.

"I need to know Clem. You have to tell me, it's important. Where is he? I know he told you. I'm sure he contacts you sometimes." Clem kept shaking his head while listening to her pleas. "Come on! I'm sure he gave you a way to contact him..."

"No no no. I'm sorry Dawn, but he really didn't." He sat next to disappointed teenager, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You know I can’t lie no matter what. If I knew where Spike is, chances are you and your sister would know by now. And that's probably the exact reason why Spike didn't tell me in the first place."

Dawn thought about it for a second, then nodded sadly. "Yeah, guess you're right." It was true that the lovable demon couldn't lie to save his life after all she thought.

"Why now Dawn? Why is it so important to be able to contact him now? If he's not here, it's because he doesn't want to come back. Don't you think."

"Yes, but I found a foolproof way to make him want to come back. The only thing is I have to contact him for that to work and you were kinda my only hope."

"Why don't you try the Watchers Council? They keep track of every famous demons and vampires. Spike is kinda famous, isn't he? He's a master vampire, killed slayers and stuff. They probably follow him very closely..."

Dawn threw her arms around Clem's neck, startling him, and kissed him on the cheek. "Clem, you're a genius"

Before he could formulate some kind of answer, she was out the door and on her way to the magic box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"NO! Nonononono. That is quite enough already Dawn. You have been relentlessly annoying me for an hour now. I am not going to give you the Watchers Council's phone number. It is absolutely out of the question."

"You know I'll probably find it on my own anyway." Dawn said defiantly. "Might as well give it to me."

"Well now that I know you are looking for it young lady, believe me I'll make sure it isn't around to be found."

Dawn changed the tone of her voice from defiant to pleading. "Giles, why don't you want me to call them? You don't want me to find Spike, do you."

"It is not because I don't want you to find Spike, I don't want him to be found by them."

"What do you mean?"

"Just believe me when I say it wouldn't be good for his well being if the Watchers found him now. They would most likely try to capture him and run some tests and other not so pleasant things."

Dawn crossed her arms on her chest, and gave the watcher a severe look. "Giles, are you telling me you know where Spike is? Cause that'd be pretty bad... that'd be like lying or something."

Giles sighed desperately, and removed his glasses to clean them once more. "Dawn, I trust that you can keep this for yourself..."

The girl nodded enthusiastically.

"I do know where Spike is, but HE doesn't want anybody to know... actually... he doesn't want Buffy to know."

Dawn just stared at Giles in disbelief, mouth gaping. "But... why?"

"I don't know Dawny, it seems to be a rather touchy subject. Every time I mention Buffy, he gets very aggressive, or sad, depending on his mood. And he has had quite a lot of mood swings lately so..."

"So, ok. He's upset with Buffy. I already kinda knew that. But he's not mad at me.” Dawn tried to reason with the watcher. “He left because of Buffy, not because of me. Maybe he'd be happy to receive a letter from me or something. Don't you think that would make him feel better to know that some people actually miss him? Everybody likes to know stuff like that... Please Giles?.. Pretty please?"

"Well...I, I don't see any harm in sending him something. After all, if he doesn't wish to read it, he doesn't have to. Give me whatever it is you want to send, and I'll make sure he gets it."

Dawn hugged Giles, a winning smile on her face. "I'm gonna go write him a letter, and I'll give you the package."

An hour later, she was almost finished writing the letter. She glanced at her watch. 5h30pm. *Damn! Buffy's probably on her way!*

"Giles, I'm done. What's the address?"

She taped the envelope to the box that she pulled out of her backpack.

"What is this?"

"What? This?" She asked with innocent blues eyes. "It's nothing. Just some stuff Spike left behind and he might need. He left in a rush so.. Hey, don't worry. It's nothing he doesn't want to have."

She wrote the address on the box then ran to the mailbox across the street. She was back just on time to see Buffy walking into the Magic Box.

"Hey Dawny! How was school today?"

"Well, how could I put it... schoolish?"

Buffy went to sit down next to her sister. "That bad?"

"Yep. How was work?"

"Umm.. Frustrating? Like asking Superman to teach mere humans how to fly."

"Buffy, ego..." Dawn scolded.

"Oupsi"

Giles was starting to get impatient. "Girls, training? It was scheduled for 5h30. Unless I'm mistaken, it's now almost 6pm. And Anya has to be home by 7pm today, so we don't have all night."

They made their way to the training room.

"So we'll do sword training for half an hour, then Dawn will practice aiming and Buffy, you will work on your reflexes and tumbling."

The two sisters grabbed their swords and Dawn put on some padding. That’s when something came popping into her mind. "Oh shit!"

"Dawn, Language!" Both Giles and Buffy said at the same time.

"Whatever" She turned to Giles. "Sorry, I forgot to tell you... I got attacked by three weird guys on my way home today."

"You what?!" Buffy yelled, mad at her sister for being so careless and not mentionning such an important detail earlier. "And you forgot to tell because?..."

Dawn shrugged. "I don't know. Some other stuff came up and.."

"Other stuff more important than being attacked?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. And I'm still here, am I not? So what's your point?" Dawn blew a strand of her long brown hair from her face while staring defiantly at her big sister.

"Giles! Do something, I'm gonna kill her!" Buffy pleaded with her watcher.

Giles took a deep breath to avoid strangling the two bickering girls himself, then asked calmly: "Dawn, care to tell us what happened?"

Like it was all she was waiting for, Dawn started telling her adventure.

"Ok. So, I'm coming back from school, right? And I decide to take a short cut and go through the park. You know, the one next to Jenny's house?"

Buffy made an impatient gesture for her to continue. Dawn rolled her eyes at her.

"So I'm like walking, minding my own business, when suddenly... wham! I'm surrounded. I'm like: Ok Dawny, calm down, don't show them you're scared. And I know I have pepper spray in my back pocket. It's not impressive, I know, but it could win me some time to escape. So I try to move slowly... but I can't! I can't even move my little finger, or blink or anything. So I think that's it for sure. They're gonna kill me. But they didn't. Obviously since I'm still here! They just gave me a message, then I fell unconscious for a sec. When I woke up, they were gone."

Giles and Buffy just stared at Dawn.

"What?"

"Dawn, the message?"

"Message?"

Giles sighed loudly. "Dawn, what did they tell you?"

"Oh, that! Huh.. to leave town?"

"Excuse me?!" Buffy snickered, very much insulted.

"Yeah. They said that me, my sister and our friends have to leave town, like now, or else... They'd have no mercy on us or something. And also that we couldn't stop what's to come anyway."

"That's it? No details? Nothing that could help us?" Giles asked hopeful.

"Hey! I was paralyzed by some spooky mojo, surrounded by these big guys dressed like some kind of evil lawyers, who threatened my life! You think I was paying attention to every stupid details?!?" Dawn asked, insulted.

"S'ok Dawny. Forget it. It's not like we're gonna listen to them and leave town anyway. So what's the point." Buffy tried to calm down her younger sister, pushing her long brown hair behind her shoulder.

"They did mention something about their Queen and the fall of the Hellmouth. Or was it the opening..?" Dawn added, frowning slightly.

Buffy turned to Giles, concerned etched on her face at her sister’s words. "You think this might have something to do with my dream?"

"To be honest, I don't have the slightest idea Buffy. I checked on Faith last week when you told me about the dream... and she was still safely behind the bars. Unless she's acting from the prison. But somehow, I just can't picture Faith having powerful minions."

"Well try to picture her as a Queen, it's even funnier! Oh, but now that I come to think of it, if Harmony could have minions... everything is possible!!"

"So... you.. had a dream about Faith? The psycho killer mom insisted on being nice to?" Dawn seemed worried by the idea.

"Yep. That's her all right. But don't worry Dawn, it was just a dream. She's in jail and she's staying there. Right Giles?" She looked pointedly at the Watcher.

"Hum.. sure. I don't think they took me seriously when I called, but they said they'll keep an eye on her and I gave them my phone number in case something comes up. They seemed to have problems with her on an everyday basis, so they didn't really pay attention to me I'm afraid."

"Well, as long as she's still behind the bars, with lots of huge armed guys guarding the door, fine by me." She stretched and smiled. "Ok Dawn, training, then junk food and movie theater. I feel a little mopey today, I need the entertainment."

"Which movie did you have in mind?" she asked, stretching as well.

"Don't know. As long as it doesn't involve romance, guys, horror, violence..."

"Great. I guess that means we'll just sit by the candy counter and watch the popcorn machine then."

Giles tried to stiffen his laugh without success.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dawn! I'm going on patrol."

Buffy walked out of her room and into her sister's. Dawn was sitting on her bed, looking at her calendar.

"Buffy, how long does it take to send mail to Europe?" she asked her without looking up from the calendar.

Buffy shrugged. "Don't know... a week? Two maybe. Why?"

"It's just that a friend of mine moved to Europe and I sent a letter two weeks ago. I just thought I'd get an answer by now. Forget it." She put the calendar down on the bed and looked at her sister with a smile.

"So, you were saying?"

"I'm going on patrol, wanna come with?"

"Nah. My friend Kelly is coming over tonight. We're gonna have a girls night in. I'll go with you tomorrow if you want, k?"

"Sure Dawny, no problem. I won't be long anyway... not in the mood tonight."

"Be careful"

"I will. Have fun" Buffy turned to leave. "Oh, and no male strippers missy!" She added playfully.

Dawn laughed at this. "Got it. No male strippers. Only nail polish, lame movies and ice cream."

Buffy made her way downstairs, grabbed her jacket by the front door and walked out into the chilly night. She stopped for a second, and inhaled the cool air, trying not to think too much. It didn't work.

Exactly a year from now tonight, she had been dancing and singing under the influence of some demon guy, and she was about to kiss Spike for the first time. Well, technically, not the first time. But this wasn't the influence of a spell, or a thank you kiss... This was her, giving in to him. But she was not prepared for the fire this kiss would leave burning inside her. And she definitely didn't expect it to lead her here... lonely and lovesick. Last time she felt like this was because of Angel.

She stopped walking for a second.

*Funny. That name doesn't do anything to me anymore. Angel Angel Angel. Nope. Nothing at all.*

She smiled to herself. *Well at least that's one good thing. Wait. Is replacing a vampire with another vampire a good thing? *

She twirled her stake in her hand. *I'm a hell of a fucked up girl! How did I manage to survive this long?!*

As that thought crossed her mind, an incredible pain shot through her skull and she blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn ran as fast as she could, her heart pounding in her chest. She could see the form of her sister laying on the ground, this incredibly huge thing bending over her. She seemed so far. Dawn had never run that fast in her life, jumping over the smaller head stones, side stepping the bigger ones, the sword shinning in her hand... She got there so fast that the demon never had time to turn and face her. In one swift motion, she beheaded it, not even giving it a second thought.

"Buffy? Buffy!.. Can you hear me? Come on, wake up.”

The blond girl groaned painfully. "Did you take the license plate number?"

Dawn took her jacket off and rolled it into a ball. "Not funny. Here, press that to your head to stop the bleeding. We have to get you to the hospital."

"I.. I'm fine. A good night of sleep and some weetabix..."

"I don't think so! Look at that tombstone, it's in pieces! Your SKULL broke it for crying out loud!!! We're going to the hospital to get your head checked. You were already not all there, I don't want you to start speaking German or something."

The girls started walking in direction of the hospital.

"So, what happened?" Dawn asked, expecting to hear about the ten demons, the long battle…

"I was a little distracted. My thoughts were wandering, and wham! Everything went black."

"Buffy Summers! You almost got yourself killed because you were, what?… Thinking about boys or something?! That's it! You are so not patrolling alone anymore!"

She gave a furious look to her sister who looked somehow ashamed of herself.

"At least not until whatever it is that's bothering you comes back and you stop moping."

"What? But.."

"And count yourself lucky that Kelly canceled our movie evening because you'd be playing all you can eat buffet for some ugly demon thingy right now."

"But.. Dawn.."

"No buts. Hospital. Now. Concussion equals no good. Sunnydale's demon population will think the Slayer is drunk or something when they see you walking around town all wobbly, and I kinda left my sword in the cemetery."

"Dawn! Do you.." Buffy started, but stopped right away. "Ouch.. my head."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What the bloody hell is this?"

Spike looked at the envelope taped to the box:

William The Bloody 781 Sussex drive North London, W13 9QT

On the corner of the envelope, it said D.Summers with the Revello drive address. If his heart could beat, it would have skipped a beat. The stamp said it was posted two weeks ago. He tore the envelope from the box and opened it.

Hey Spike!

I hope you're all right, we haven't heard from you in a very long time. Please don't get mad at Giles for giving me your address, I annoyed him for an hour and a half before he gave it to me. Anyway, it worked. Must be my charm... or my whining, I'm not sure.

I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you. Things are not the same without you around. C'mon, who's left to make fun of Xander? And to keep me from getting in trouble in cemeteries in the middle of the night? I know you had your reasons to leave (most of which have to do with my annoying sister) but you never even said goodbye to me and it hurt me a little.

Ok, the fact that I miss you is not the only reason why I'm writing to you. The thing is, I'm not the only one who misses you, and I thought you'd like to know that. Are you sitting down? Buffy is like completely desperate by your departure. It's true! I swear! She's been a wreck for the past three months, and I had no idea why, until I found letters that were addressed to you (yeah, I know. You told me the only person allowed to snoop in Buffy's stuff is you. But I couldn't help it!). Of course she didn't send them cause she's not as clever as I am when it comes to finding the address of MIA people. So, yeah, there's like fifty something letters in that box, and since they're for you, I thought it was the right thing to do to send them to you. I know you're probably pissed at her (she told me a lot of what happened last winter.. I called her an evil witch and we got into a fight, but we're ok now) but I'm sure you still love her, and when you read the letters, you'll want to come back and we can all be happy together. We could be like a family or something, and Xander would FREAK OUT! That'd be so much fun.

Anyway, I've gotta go now cause Giles is waiting for me. Giles and Buffy have started training me. They're teaching me how to fight. It's pretty cool. I'm really good with a sword. I even go on patrol with Buffy sometimes. OK, now Giles is clearing his throat and cleaning his glasses... I guess that means I really have to go.

Take care of yourself and come back soon,
Nibblet xxx

"Little devil."

He sank deeper into the couch, staring at the little box on the coffee table. He stared at it for a few hours before making his decision.

He wouldn't read the content of the box. He wouldn't even open it.

*Whatever’s in that bloody box, she will say to my face or not at all.*

Yes, he'd go back to Sunnyhell. But he would not go back to how things were between them. *I won't be her lovesick puppy dog that she can bitch slap around anymore. She'll have to prove herself first...*

He grabbed a piece of paper and started writing a letter for Dawn. He couldn't wait to see Buffy again, but he still wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it. Not even sure if he would be able to make his presence known to them. And if it was the case, if it hurt too much and he didn’t stay... Spike just didn't want Dawn to hope too much for his return. So he wrote.

He decided he would send the letter tonight, and leave tomorrow night. The safest, most comfortable way for a vampire to travel over sea being by boat since the stupid sod sitting next to you in the plane risk opening the window shade at any moment, it would probably take him at least a week. But this way, he’d have some time to think about what he would do. He'd be home before the letter though. Sunnydale.. Buffy.. Home. He smiled at the thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dawn!.. Can you go check the mail while I finish the dishes please?"

The voice of her sister came from the living room where she was watching cartoons before going to school.

"Yep, I'm on it!"

A few minutes later, Buffy came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on the dishcloth.

"So, anything interesting?"

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her sister. "Dawny? What's wrong?"

The girl was standing in the living room, tears streaming down her face, a letter held tight in her fist, her other hand holding a box against her chest.

"He's not coming back! It's your fault, I HATE YOU!!"

Before Buffy could react, Dawn ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door shut. Buffy followed her closely, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She opened Dawn's bedroom door.

"What the hell is wrong with you..."

She received a box in the stomach, followed by a piece of paper crumpled into a ball.

"Get out! It's all your fault! He's never coming back because of you!! Get out of my room! I hate you!!!" Dawn screamed in a high pitch voice.

Buffy bent down to pick the paper off the floor. She straightened it, and started reading, the words dancing in front of her eyes.

Hello Nibblet,

You have no idea what it meant to me to receive your letter. I really didn't think anybody would miss me in Sunnydale. Actually, I rather thought you guys would throw a bloody party to celebrate my departure. I was just a pain in everybody's life, especially your sisters. I didn't open the package you sent me. Didn't want to. Whatever's in there, I’m sure it's stuff I wanted to hear face to face for a long time. So I'm not gonna read it.

You know little bit, I really appreciate that you're trying to get me to come back to Sunnyhell and all, and I hate to disappoint you, but I don't think I'll come back. Not now at least. I still need some time to work things out. You see, even though you said your sister told you what happened, I doubt she gave you all the details. What we did to each other luv... Never mind. Just believe me when I say we hurt each other a lot and I'm not ready to come back. I need some time on my own, then we'll see. I'll come back when I'm ready to forgive and forget. And I don't mean her, I mean myself.

Well, take care of yourself Dawny. I'm sorry. I know I'm making you sad right now and I hate myself for this. But I don't have a choice here. I just hope you won't get mad at me. I just want you to know that I miss you a whole lot and I wish I could be there for you. And I’m also sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but it was too hard.

By the way, I think you patrolling is a bloody awful idea. I'm against it completely! What need do you have to go get yourself killed in a cemetery? At your age, you should spend your time shopping, watching movies and chatting with your chums on the phone. Your sister had it hard enough at your age, and she didn't even have a choice. You do. So stay out of trouble cause I'm not there to save you if something happens. If you absolutely must get yourself into trouble, at least, wait until I come back! Sorry pet, you know how overprotective I can get sometimes... Ok Nibblet, I've gotta go now. But just promise me one thing, take care of your sister for me, ok?

Spike

Everything got blurry. Buffy couldn't read the words anymore. She let herself down slowly against the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Only her quiet sobs were breaking the silence in the room. Dawn approached her, and knelt beside her.

"I'm sorry I yield at you Buffy. I.. I didn’t mean what I said. I don't hate you. It's just that..."

Buffy grabbed her sister into a tight hug and hid her face in her shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time, crying and comforting each other. They would have to make up an excuse for Dawn missing school once more...

The two sisters spent the afternoon together, indulging in comfort food... cheeseburgers and lots of ice cream. It didn't make the sorrow disappear, but it kept their minds busy for a moment or two.

After a long session of mind numbing shopping, Buffy and Dawn came back home. As she opened the door, Buffy heard the phone ringing. She hurried inside to answer it.

"Summers mental institution, Buffy speaking how may I help you?" Buffy said in her best customer service representative voice.

Dawn giggled as she threw her purse and jacket on the coffee table and slumped down on the couch. Buffy made a face and the girl laughed even more.

"... Buffy?"

"Duh, who else could it be? What's up Giles?"

"Nothing good actually. Faith is out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So they just what?… Let her out!?" Buffy barked angrily at Giles.

She looked absolutely furious as she paced around the table in the magic shop. Anya stopped counting her money to stare at her, Willow and Xander were sitting next to each other like they had been for the past three months, and they stared as well. No one understood Buffy's outburst. They'd understand if she was upset, but she was down right pissed off.

"If she had decided to just fucking go shopping, what would they say? "Sure hon! Just make sure to come back for dinner.”?! Cause if that's the way United States prisons work, I'm moving to Canada!"

Giles tried to approach her without getting his head bit off. "Buffy calm down."

"Calm down!? Why would I? Give me one reason why I shouldn't be freaking out right now! My god damn dream is coming true and..."

Giles grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the training room, under the puzzled look of the Scoobies. He closed the door behind them.

"Buffy, what happened? This is not like you to lose control like this. Did something else happened?"

Buffy let herself down on the bench, her hands between her knees, her head hung low.

"Dawn received a letter from Spike today. He's not coming back.. ever." she said in a small voice. "Well at least, that's what it sounded like. So on top of being depressed because I managed to lose another man in my life, it also makes another part of my dream come true, and now you're telling me Faith is out, and probably on her way here. Put two and two together Giles. Next thing you know, I'll have a knife cutting through my throat and Sunnydale will go to Hell. Literally."

"Buffy, please. Don't get too dramatic. It is not the first time we make a prophecy or a slayer dream lie. We'll find a way around it one way or another, I'm sure."

"I'm sorry Giles. I didn't mean to sound like I'm giving up. It's just... I don't know. I guess I'm just feeling down today. Really down. I'll go home and hide in my bed until my courage comes back in town if you don't mind. I'll be better tomorrow and we can make plans."

Before Giles could answer, she was out of the training room, and on her way home.

Giles sighed deeply and shook his head, worried for his Slayer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Giles tried to call Spike a few times. Actually, he called him three times during the past week, but the blond pain in the arse did not return his call. It was now 2am, and Giles was enjoying his late night scotch before going to bed. As he was pouring himself another one, there was a knock at the door.

"Who the bloody hell..." He got up to open the door, mumbling insanities under his breath.

"Who is it?"

"The soddin tooth fairy Watcher. Open up would you."

Giles opened the door and stared at Spike in amazement.

"Well.. Do I have to stand here and wait for the sun to rise and fry me, or can I come in?"

"Of course.. uh.. come in.. Pardon my amazement, but B.. I was told this morning that you'd officially never come back so.."

"A bloke can change his mind now, can't he."

Spike dropped his bag in a corner and sat down on the couch where Giles had been sitting a few minutes ago."

Giles gestures mockingly towards the couch. "Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable." he said wryly. He took a chair for himself and sat in front of Spike.

"What made you change your mind?"

"... Knowing my girls are in danger... And Dawny sent me something that was heavy in the balance."

Giles shook his head incredulously. "The little devil always gets her way, doesn't she."

Spike smiled affectionately at the thought of Dawn. "Yeah, I had a good influence on her. But now she uses my teachings on me. She's turning me into a soddin poof."

Giles looked at the duffel bag sitting in the corner. "So I take it you're planning on staying here?"

"Yeah. If it's okay with you."

"Of course. But may I ask why you’re not staying at your crypt?"

The blond vampire sighed and lowered his head. "I stopped by before coming here, and... she was there talking to Clem so.."

"Spike, why did you come back if you hate her so much?"

Spike's head snapped up, a stunned expression on his face.

"Hate her?! Are you out of your bloody mind Rupert? I don't hate her, I love her more than anything in this pathetic world!"

"Then why? She misses you a great deal and I think.."

"It's complicated." Spike gestured towards the scotch bottle. "Do you mind?"

"Go ahead."

Spike poured himself and Giles a drink, and he settled back down on the couch. He stared at his glass for a moment before continuing.

"How could I put it Watcher..." he stopped and seemed to think for a second. "That's how it is: There's the guilt. Then, there's the hurt. And there is also the fear. And then, somewhere in the middle of all that, there is love too. I think what I mean is I have quite a few things to work out before I can face her again. I did things I can't forgive myself for. At least not now." He chugged down his drink. "She did and said things that hurt me a lot. I said and did things that hurt her a lot. The relationship we had, it was just really screwed up."

Giles listened in silence as Spike talked. The vampire seemed completely lost in his memories, saying things that he obviously already told himself again and again.

"It wasn't all my doing you know. That was not what I wanted for her. I might be a monster, but a monster in love. I just wanted her happy... but she wouldn't let me, so I was playing her game and we both ended up hurt. I don't want this to happen again. But I'm weak, and if her intentions are the same as they were, I'll probably just let her do whatever she wants and it will just start all over again. I think I had my share of pain. The damn soul by itself is plenty enough if you ask me. This bloody soul is not as much fun as I thought it would be..."

"Wait." Giles interrupted him. "Are you telling me you got the soul on a voluntary basis? You mean.. you went and got yourself a soul? I though someone cursed you!"

"Idiotic enough, init?"

"After you stumbled through my door in London, I never had the chance to ask you details about what happened."

"Yeah well, I had a hard enough time remembering my own name that night Rupert, I don't think explaining to you that I got my soul back so I could make Buffy happy was one of my top priorities."

"You did this for Buffy?"

"Yeah. So she wouldn't be ashamed of herself for being with me. It was killing her. You know how she is... she always have to be the superhero. She refuses to have any flaws, any weaknesses, to do something people will disagree with. She couldn't stand the idea of anyone finding out she was with a soulless demon.... made her think less of herself and I couldn't stand that. So I went to see that demon shaman in Africa who is well known to restore souls and such. It sounded simple enough in my head: go there, get the soul, come back to Sunnyhell and see what Buffy has to say about it. Sounded like a pick-nick or an afternoon on the bloody beach. Let me just tell you I was a pretty naive little vampire. But she's worth it."

"I don't know what to say. I'm amazed. Pardon the comparison, but I don't think Angelus would have done such a thing. He killed Jenny to make sure she wouldn't give him his soul back."

"Yeah well, Angelus was a wanker. I think we both know that. And Angelus' demon didn't love Buffy. He hated her more than anything whereas mine is in love with her. That would explain it I guess."

"Still, I can't figure out how a demon can fall in love with a mortal. The slayer of all people. I've never heard of such a thing."

"Always been the weird one. My sire thought I was pathetic cause I was capable of human feelings. Angelus thought it was a weakness. But you shouldn't be surprised that Buffy can make a demon fall for her. She's so amazing. So incredibly amazing... Heaven must miss her a hell of a lot if you ask me."

Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I think you're making a mistake. I think you should just go to her now and fix things up."

Spike laughed bitterly. "Are you throwing the big bad vampire in the arms of your beloved Slayer, Rupert?"

"Well.. Yeah, I am actually questioning my sanity myself. But you are obviously both miserable, so why don't you.."

"Not just now Watcher. I'm not ready."

"Fine. You know what you have to do. But we still have a problem. The L.A. county jail called this morning to let us know that Faith was out. She's probably on her way to Sunnydale as we speak."

"Faith? That's the crazy chit that switched bodies with Buffy two years ago, right? The mayor's sidekick?"

"Yes. That's her. She is a threat to be taken seriously. The fight between Buffy and her is quite personal. And not only does Faith's strength match Buffy's, but also she has no conscience, and she has nothing to lose. And we already know she's planning something because Buffy had a slayer dream about Faith and the end of Sunnydale."

Spike raised his scared eyebrow at Giles. "Apocalypse?.. Again? These people really have to come up with something new once in a while. Apocalypses are so last year."

"I am getting scared now.. you start sounding like Dawn."

"We spent too much time together last summer. I still catch myself singing Britney Spears songs once in a while" Spike shuddered at the thought.

Giles looked down. "Yes I'm afraid I do too."

Both men laughed goodheartedly.

"So, what should we do?" Giles asked, not sure himself where to start.

"One thing is for sure. No more patrolling alone for Buffy from now on. I don't want to know she's out there alone while this psycho bird is around."

"It's already taken care of. Buffy doesn't patrol alone since she almost got herself killed a few weeks ago because she was distracted. Dawn decided it was the end of the lonely patrol nights for her sister as long as she wouldn't get her focus back and stop thinking about.." He cleared his throat and looked at Spike pointedly above his glasses. "People who left town without a word to get souls and don't want to come back."

Spike glared at Giles, but didn't answer.

"I think for now, all we can do is to keep our eyes open and wait for her to show up, or for any signs that something is going on. Right now, we have nothing. We're not even sure she's coming here. So we'll just get ready and wait."

"Yes. That's what I told everybody. We can't fight if we don't know what we're fighting." Giles stood up and Spike followed.

"The storage room doesn’t have windows. I'll fix you a bunk bed and you can sleep there."

"Thanks mate, I appreciate."

"Spike?.. What do you intend to do exactly?"

"I'll watch her back, and do what I do best" he gave Giles his trademark cocky grin "I'll lurk..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

END OF PART II

Part 3 of Faith series, Eavesdropping

Be kind to me.. I love feedback!

Back to the Hellmouth