For your own good
summary: Sometime, the person who loves you the most, will be the one to hurt you the most. Could Buffy's worst enemy, the one who will betray her, be one of her best friends?PG13: for some bad words
spoiler: season 6, right after Once more with feelings, but no denial party like at the beginning of Tabula Rasa. Though Buffy does avoid Spike for a while...
Disclaimer: As usual, Joss's characters, stories, names, yadi yadi yada. I don't own anything except for the idea behind the story. If you decide to sue me, big fat waste of your precious time.
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Ewwww. Cold coffee. Too much time spent thinking and looking at it instead of drinking it. Buffy just stared at her coffee, sitting in her kitchen. It was dark outside, she didn't know how long she had been sitting there.
She had been hiding in her room for the major part of the past week, coming out only to send Dawn to school and for quick patrols. Very quick patrols mind you. And in parts of town that are, well, away from Spike's crypt. She had been very clever at avoiding Spike during that past week. Hadn't seen him since the kiss.
Yeah, the kiss. That's the thing that had been tormenting her for the last seven days. Seven days spent in her bedroom thinking back on the kiss. Or rather trying not to think about it. She had first blamed it on the spell of the day, the one that turned their lives into a musical from the 60's. But she knows better. She knows it's all about him, and her, and kissing, and feelings. That need she had been feeling inside of her for the past months, to go to him, to be with him. She didn't even have the strength to fight the urge anymore. She just gave in, not questioning it. And she found herself night after night, in Spike's crypt, pouring her heart out to him. The only one who truly understood her.
She finally decided to get out of her room and to hang out in the kitchen for a little while. She had hoped to find Willow, but she was alone. She put her forehead down to the cool surface of the table, her arms folded behind her head. Who was she kidding? Staying away from Spike for a week had been the hardest thing ever. It was.. painful. But she knew that if she went to see him, there would be some more kissing, because she wanted it. Kissing vampire, bad. She knew that better than anybody else, right? She learnt it the hard way. But even if it wasn't for Angel and how horribly things had turned out with him, she should still know that vampires equal bad. Hey, that summed up her whole job description! Buffy good, vampire bad, Buffy kills vampire. Simple enough. Wasn't mentioned anywhere that she was supposed to fall in love with them. Nonononono. No love. No feelings. But it was too late, and she knew it. Why else would she have locked herself in her room for? Why else would she have avoided Spike for? And why else would it hurt so much to be without him?
"God, I only start admitting to myself that I might be falling in love with him, and it already hurts. Imagine what it's gonna be like in a little while when he pulls an Angelus on me!" she mumbled angrily to herself.
But why would he? He didn't have a soul. He loved her without a soul. No soul to lose there right? So no bad surprises.
*Yeah, but what if one day, he got that chip out of his brain? Cause of course, that would be much better. He still loves me, but he kills people. Therefor, I have to kill him. Back to square one. Buffy has to kill her lover, AGAIN.*
But she couldn't help it. Just using the word "lover" while thinking about Spike was making her all fuzzy and warm inside.
*Maybe I'm worrying for nothing. Maybe he'll never even try to get that chip out. Maybe he's not lying when he says he doesn't care about that anymore. Yeah, but still vampire. No daytime wedding in my future. No kids. No afternoon on the beach or barbecue with the boss and his wife. And can you imagine when I'm sixty years old and all wrinkled and he still looks like a twenty five years old? People would look at us and think: "Awww, how sweet. He's taking his grandma out for a walk"*
Buffy started giggling at that thought.
"But then again" she said out loud "it's not like I'm gonna live for another thirty years or so being a Slayer."
*Gosh, I really have to tell someone about this. *
Just as she was thinking that, the back door opened, and Willow walked in.
"Hey Buffy! Long time no see. I was starting to think that you might have moved out."
Willow dropped her bag on the floor and slumped down on a chair in front of Buffy.
"Sorry Will. I know I haven't been around a lot lately. I had a lot on my mind. I had to do some major thinking."
"Something you want to talk about? I know if it's Slayer stuff, I might not be a good help, but it's always good to have someone to talk to. Like me for example."
Buffy gave her friend a weary smile.
"Yeah. Actually, you might be right. I think I need to get it off my chest. It's just... it's hard. And I don't know how you're going to react. You might be freaked out a little, and not understand."
"Hey! Not judging here. C'mon Buffy, I can take it. I'm your best friend... try me."
"I think I’m in love with Spike."
"..."
"Will? What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night!" Xander whispered as he pulled Willow inside the apartment.
"I know, but I couldn't keep it for myself. I needed to talk to someone."
"Couldn't you just wake Buffy up and talk to her?" He said, rubbing his eyes, still sleepy.
"I couldn't. It's about her."
"Shhh. You're gonna wake Anya up. She's gonna be majorly pissed off, she has to wake up early. Let's go on the balcony."
They went outside and closed the door behind them.
"Did something happen to Buffy? Is she all right? I know she's been kinda avoiding us after the singing spell. Is she mad..." Xander looked worried.
Ever since they learnt that they pulled Buffy out of eternal peace, he had been feeling guilty. He really, honestly believed that they had saved her from Hell. He'd never had thought there was a possibility she could have been in Heaven. The idea that he participated in doing that to his best friend out of selfishness was killing him. Now, all he wanted was to make sure Buffy was as happy as possible, and life was as easy as possible for her.
"No, no, don't worry. Well, actually, yes. You might have to worry. I think Buffy's emotionally unstable and.."
"Don't you think it's a little normal? The girl was at peace, doing whatever people do in Heaven, until her best friends decided to get her out of there and brought her back here in Sunnyhell so she could have to fight for her life every night, struggle with money problems,.."
"Xander, please. Don't. I already feel guilty enough about that. And besides, that's not what I'm here to talk about. I was saying that Buffy's emotionally unstable, and I think Spike is taking advantage of that."
Xander looked at the redhead witch with worries in his eyes. He didn't like Spike, and he certainly didn't like that Buffy's hanging way too much with the bloodsucker. Yes, he had been helpful last Summer when Buffy was... dead, but they didn't need him around anymore. And still, he was always there.
"What do you mean? How is he taking advantage of her? Is he stealing her money or something?"
"No. Gosh, how can I put that. I had a talk with Buffy tonight. You know how I told you she locked herself in her room all week, avoiding everybody."
"Yeah, you mentioned it."
"When I arrived tonight, she was in the kitchen, and we talked."
"So, what did she say?"
"Xander, she said she's in love with Spike."
"..."
"Buffy... Buffy, wake up."
Willow was shaking her friend, trying to get her to open her eyes.
"Grrr.. What!” the sleepy girl finally said impatiently. “I'm sleeping here!"
"I know, I'm sorry. But it's important. Please don't get mad at me."
Worried by her friends words, Buffy forced herself awake and sat up.
"What is it Will? What happened?"
"I'm sorry Buffy. I, it's just, I needed to talk to someone and..."
"And what?" Buffy was growing impatient.
"I.. I kinda told Xander about you and Spike."
"YOU WHAT?!"
"Buffy, I tried to stop him, but, I'm pretty sure he's going to kill Spike. Buffy! I'm sorry, I didn't think it.."
But Buffy was already out the door, trying to put her jeans on while walking. She slammed the front door and ran as fast as she could.
Xander kicked the crypt's door open, and stood there for a couple of seconds, clutching the stake in his left hand. His crazed look fixed on the back of the man he was there to kill.
Spike didn't turn. Didn't have to. He recognized the boy. He let out a deep annoyed sigh and kept pouring himself a drink.
"What's up mate? What brings you to the beast's lair? Couldn't sleep? Thought you'd..."
Xander suddenly tackled him to the floor, His right hand choking the blond vampire, the other one still clutching the stake.
"Yeah... Thought I'd stop by to kill you" he let out through his clenched teeth.
"Woaw, now wait just a bloody minute. What is this all about?.. Oh, I know. Your ex demon girlfriend finally ran off and you thought you might find her here. Sorry mate, haven't seen her."
"Shut up! Just shut up you disgusting evil asshole. This time it’s over Spikeyboy. I'm gonna kill you."
"Ok, I'm used to you calling me names, and threatening to kill me, but could you just tell me what the bleedin’ Hell I did this time around? Cause it's getting a bit old."
"What you did? You dare asking me what you did?"
"Huh, that's pretty much what I asked, yeah."
Xander got off Spike and stood up. He took a few seconds to observe the man he hated as he was getting up as well.
"You are evil Spike. You are evil and we should have staked you a long time ago. Fuck the chip. It was foolish and weak of us not to let you die when you came to ask for help."
"Yeah, ok, still not getting it."
Xander started walking slowly towards Spike. One slow, dangerous, step at a time. Spike started to get a little worried. Something in the boy's eyes told him he wasn’t fooling around this time. Soddin chip. He felt as helpless as a puppy dog in a bag about to get drowned.
"Buffy. You are using her. You are playing with her, knowing how fragile she is right now. You're using that to your advantage to force yourself into her life, into her heart. Making her believe she needs you. Nobody needs you Spike. Certainly not Buffy. And if she can't get over that little obsession of hers for the evildead, then her friends are gonna help her."
One more step.
"That's what friends are for. We're gonna make sure she won't get hurt again."
One more step.
"She can't think straight right now. Making bad decisions, opening up to the wrong people. I'm gonna help her see clearly. Even if I have to force her to do so."
Spike laughed. A sarcastic laughter that probably wouldn’t win him any points with Xander.
"So that's it? Your friend is making decisions with her life that you don't approve of so you're gonna force her to see things your way by killing me? That's your brilliant plan mate? And you call me evil?"
"Shut the fuck up! She deserves better than you. There is nothing good about you. She might be a little upset for a couple of days, but we, her friends, will be there for her. Then she'll forget about you and she'll be happy again. She won't even know I did it. She'll never find out."
Out of breath, Buffy finally reached the crypt. She slowly pushed the door open, afraid of what she'd see. She stepped in just in time to hear it.
"Spike, thank you for last summer, you were very helpful..."
She took a step forward. Spike and Xander were there, facing each other. She sighed in relief when she saw Spike still...
"but we don't need you anymore."
She screamed. High pitch, terrorized, desperate scream. Spike looked down at the stake in his chest, then, slowly, turned his head to look at her. One last look, filled with fear, pain, and regrets.
"Spike!.."
But he was no more. Nothing left of the blond vampire standing there less then a second ago. Just Xander, staring at her, mouth open, desperately trying to say something.
Without even thinking, she lunged at him, throwing him to the ground, and started choking him. She would kill him. A couple more seconds without breathing and he would die. He was trying to fight her, but she was way too strong for him. His face was red. During a short moment of lucidity, she let go of his neck and found the strength to say, in a low, psychotic voice:
"Get out. Get out now if you want to live."
Without a moment of hesitation, Xander crawled from underneath the Slayer, and ran for the door, leaving her alone. Alone in the empty crypt.
"So pet, how long have you been here now? A few hours? Couple of days? You know, the floor of a crypt is not the best place in the world for you to be. It's dirty and cold..."
Buffy just stared at nothing. Laying on her side, next to the little pile of hashes.
"You're not being reasonable Slayer."
He smiled lovingly at her, then the vision of Spike turned to dust. A few minutes later, he appeared again, crouching in front of her.
"What are you staring at cutie? Are those my ashes?"
He took a handful of ashes and let it slip through his fingers.
"Looking at my remains won't make me come back you know. Nothing will Buffy. I'm gone for good. Gone with the wind."
As he said it, his form got dusty again, and an imaginary wind blew it away.
Buffy was now sobbing, curled up in a ball. She was cold, she was alone, and she lost the only person who truly knew her. She felt like an empty shell. Nothing could make it better. She refused to move. Moving would mean moving on. Continuing without him. Without hearing his soft British accent ever again. Without seeing his cocky grin that used to annoy her so much. Without his piercing ice blue eyes that could read her soul like a book. She had no idea how long she had been there, but she didn't want to move.
He was behind her now. She couldn't see him, but she felt him. His lips were almost touching her ear, and his murmur was soft, loving, and full of hurt.
"Too bad you didn't figure out how you felt before luv. We could have been happy together you know. I'm sure we would have found a way to make it work. A vampire Slayer and a vampire in love. Not the best case scenario. But we're different. You and I together, we could have made it work. Because I loved you. And love can truly change a person. Do you love me Buffy?"
She turned her head to answer him, but he was not there anymore. She shivered. She was cold. Cold and lost.
"Please Buffy."
She turned her head back. He was now lying on his side, facing her. His face was so close they almost touch. If he was real, she could have kissed him, taken him in her arms.
"Buffy, I can't do this. I can't be without you for eternity. Please baby; don't leave me here... Help me."
Slowly, right there under her eyes, his form disintegrated again. The ashes kept the form of his body for a second of two before softly falling to the ground. Buffy sat up, wiping the tears from her face with a shaky hand. She looked up at the window, trying to figure out what time it was. It was sundown. She had been there for at least two days. She drew in a deep breath. Some part of her knew this was crazy, but she had to try. She just couldn't let it be.
"Hey! Isn't it my favorite Slayer who graces me with a visit.. How's Slayer business going sweet heart?"
But Willie stopped grinning when he noticed the grim expression on the Slayer's face.
"Uh, not that well as I can see. Did someone die honey?"
"Willie, could we... could we talk, privately?"
Willie took a look around his fine establishment, and nodded. The bar was almost empty. Only three demons sitting at a table, and two vampires drinking in silence at the bar.
"Well, if it doesn't involve me getting my ass kicked for information..."
"No. I need a favor. Please."
After taking a careful look at the Slayer's face, Willie decided that it looked serious enough.
"Ok, let sit over there. We'll be quiet and I can keep an eye on the place."
They sat at the other end of the bar, and Willie brought two glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
"Here, you look like you might need this."
He poured Buffy a glass.
"Thanks."
"So, what is it you need me for Slayer, if it's not for information."
"Actually, it is an information that I need, but nothing that will make you lose some of your friendly customers. It's personal."
"I'm intrigued. Please go on."
Buffy lowered her head, and took a deep breath.
"Something happened to a friend of mine. I... I heard.. Well.. You know people... you see lots of people..."
"Slayer. What do you need?"
"Have you ever heard of someone capable of bringing back someone from the dead?"
"Color me confused here Buffy. Don't you know someone who can do that yourself? Didn't you die last Spring? Your friend, the redhead witch, she brought you back. She can do that kind of mojo. Why not ask her?"
"First, because the spell she used was for a human. Second, she could only do it once. And third, I kinda don't want to talk to her right now. Long story."
Will scratched the back of his head, looking confused.
"So, it's not for a human? What is it? A really bad vampire that you think should have suffered a little longer before dying so you want to bring him back and torture him some more?"
But his smile faded when he saw the tears forming in Buffy's eyes.
"Someone you cared about uh? Come on kiddo, don't cry. I think I know someone who could help you."
She gave him a hopeful look.
"Really?"
"Sure. Here..." He wrote the address on a napkin. "That's his address. I heard he did that once before and it worked. But... If you intend to rough him up, please don't mention I sent you, ok?"
"Don't worry, as long as he cooperates, he's gonna be fine. Thank you Willie. I owe you. I promise I'll leave you and your customers alone for a long while."
Willie smiled.
"Now don't go making promises you can't keep. You just take care kiddo, ok?"
She finished her glass, got off the stool and turned to leave.
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
He hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should ask.
"Did something happen to Angel?"
"Nah, Angel's just peachy. Well, as far as I know."
"Well, who then?" He stopped and thought for a minute. "Oh God, not him! Don't tell me I just helped save Sp.."
Buffy blew him a kiss.
"Bye Will. I'll make sure he stops by to thank you."
And the door closed behind her.
Buffy stopped the DeSoto in front of her house. There was light inside. She just hoped it wasn’t Willow. She needed to get Dawn, and they needed to move, now. Oh God, how was she going to tell Dawn about this? She probably didn't know yet. Xander was too much of a coward to dare tell Dawn he killed her best friend. Buffy knew that if she came close from killing Xander with her bare hands, Dawn, being her sister, would probably try too.
She turned the engine off, and got out of the car. She walked into her house, and listened for any noise. There was someone upstairs.
"Dawn?.. Dawn are you there?"
"Oh my God, Buffy is that you?"
In a matter of seconds, Dawn was running down the stairs and jumping in her sister's arms.
"Buffy! Where were you? I was so worried... it's been two days."
"I know Dawny, I'm sorry. Look, we have to go. Are you alone?"
"... Yeah. Willow is at the magic box with Tara. Why? Where are we going? Where were you anyway?"
"Dawn, I will answer all of your questions in the car. We have to get going."
"In a car? With you? Driving? Wooo, scary!"
Buffy was growing impatient.
"Well it's gonna have to do, cause the owner of the car can't bloody well drive the damn car in the state he's in right now."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Get your stuff; I'll tell you everything in details on our way. We're leaving for a couple of days."
Dawn was starting to go up the stairs but she stopped and looked at her sister.
"You want me to call Willow to tell her we're leaving?"
"No. No way. She's responsible for that mess, it's only fair she worries a little. Come on, we don't have all day."
Buffy kept glancing over at her sister. How could she possibly tell her little sister that her best friend was in a little black box in the glove compartment. How could she break the news to her? She cleared her throat, unsure what to say. But Dawn spoke first.
"Something happened to Spike, right?"
As she said it, a tear rolled down her face. She was obviously trying to stay strong while waiting for the answer. Buffy reached out and squeezed her sister's hand. Tears were now pouring freely from her eyes. Buffy didn't realize, but she was crying too.
"So I guess I can't have you both at the same time uh? Too much to ask for isn’t it?"
Buffy winced.
"Honey, that's why we're here. We're going to get him back. Don't worry, I found a way. I got the address of this shaman guy who knows a mojo to restore vampires. He lives two hours away. We'll find him and he'll help us. Everything's go..."
Dawn interrupted her sister's attempt at comforting her.
"Where is he."
"Dawny, I don't think it's such a.."
"Where. Is. He."
Buffy reached out in silence, and opened the glove compartment. She kept driving, occasionally wiping tears off her eyes. Her sister was now holding the little box on her knees, looking out the window.
"Did you... Did you do this?"
"What! Of course not! Why would I be crying my eyes off if I was the one who did this?" Buffy asked, horrified.
"It's Xander, isn't it?"
"How do you know?"
"I caught them talking. Xander was crying, Willow was screaming. I didn't know what they were talking about though. He said it needed to be done, that he did you a favor. That he felt guilty, but had no regrets. Stuff like that. Before he left, he came to say bye and he asked me if I still had that crush on him. As a joke, I answered something like: "What, you didn't hear? I have a huge crush on Spike now. I'm sooo over you!" He just said something like, oh, sorry to hear that kid. Then he turned and left. That was really awkward. Later, Willow came to tell me that you would probably not come home for a while, but nothing to worry about. Slayer stuff."
"Well Dawn, I'm proud of you. That thing you told him about the huge crush on Spike, that was a sweet little vengeance. I bet you he felt twice as guilty after that."
They both smiled for a second.
"Yeah, but that wasn't enough."
"I know. I have no idea how I could ever forgive him for that." She stopped to think for a second, then looked seriously at Dawn. "Hey, that Spike crush of yours, you're over that, right? Cause I'd hate to have to fight over him with my little sister ya know."
"Don't worry big sis, you're the one he loves. I don't have a shadow of a chance with you around. You know that." She sighed dramatically, and sunk back in her seat, holding the little box tightly in her arms.
Buffy smiled for the first time in three days, and took the exit. Almost there.
"Are you sure?"
"Huh uh."
"It's not even a house! Actually, it's not even a street, or an address for that matter."
Buffy took a closer look at the rumpled napkin with the address on it. 35 Valley road. If Willie screwed her over, she wouldn't have enough of a lifetime to make him pay. Actually, she would come back after she died to haunt him and find new ways to torture him. And when he dies? She'd follow him in hell to make sure he keeps paying... She shook her head. Enough. Let's cross the bridge when we get there.
"Yep. It has to be it. We passed a sign saying Valley road, this way. And that's the only thing that could pass for a street. And that broken wood sign over there... that looks like a 3 and a 5 to me. Does it look like a 3 and a 5? Maybe it's 8..."
"Ok, Enough already! Yes, it's 35. But it's still a weird place. Looks like the ruins of a Mexican farm. Kinda like ghost town. I doubt anybody lives here at all. But we won't know until we go knock on the.. ok, not the door since there is none, but we'll find something to knock on."
Dawn got out of the car, quickly followed by Buffy. The girls walked to the seemingly abandoned building, their heart pounding in their throat. Both sharing the same thoughts. What if... What if there was nobody there? What if it didn't work. What if the guy refused to help them. What if... they never saw Spike again.
They walked around the building, and found themselves in front of an open wall. Actually a whole part of the sinister building was demolished. Buffy took a cautious peek inside, motioning for Dawn to stay behind her. Seeing nothing, the Slayer called out.
"Hello?.. Anybody home?"
An eerie voice answered, startling both girls.
"Come on in humans, I was expecting you."
Buffy grabbed her sister's hand, and walked inside. They found themselves in a dirty room, under the stars. There wasn’t a roof above their heads. Whatever happened to it will remain a mystery. They nervously looked around, trying to find the source of the voice.
"You were... expecting us? How could you know we were coming?"
Once again, the strange voice seemed to come from everywhere.
"An old friend of mine told me the Slayer needed a favor."
Suddenly, the dark figure detached itself from the shadow. Dawn took a step back, but Buffy managed not to react. The creature coming at them was at least eight feet tall. It was covered in a long black cloak, the hands coming out of the sleeves were bones, and all you could see from under the hood were blazing yellow eyes. But the voice was not menacing.
"Unfortunately, I cannot help you."
Buffy couldn’t hide the despair in her voice.
"What.. but.. why?"
"I need the blood of someone who loved the creature for the ritual to be successful. I don't know your motives to get him back, but since you are a human, I do not believe love is one of them. In that case, it cannot work."
For some reason she couldn't explain, this “thing” assuming she couldn't love Spike because she was a human and he was a vampire got her really angry.
"Judgmental much? What? You just assume that no human would be stupid enough to love a vampire? Well guess again! Call me stupid, I love him. She loves him too. There you go. Is that enough blood for your ritual?"
The creature laughed.
"I knew that. I just needed you to say it, accept it yourself. Though it is a wonder to me that a creature of the light like yourself could love a creature of the night... But I think I won't get into that, you seem a little edgy." He started walking toward the other end of the room. "Let's not waste anymore time, and bring your friend back shall we. If you ladies would follow me..."
The three of them were siting around a pentagram painted in black on the dirt floor. Dawn cleared her throat. Buffy and the shaman both looked at her.
"Huh, sorry to interrupt, but... When I tried to bring back my mom, there was a huge risk that she would come back.. ya know.. wrong. Is it the same thing for vampires? Is there no risk that Spike could be like, a zombie or something?"
Buffy's face went pale, and she looked at the shaman expectantly. The tall creature joined its fingers and took one of those meaningful pose that Giles mastered and that Buffy hated so much.
"Physically, he will be exactly the same. I will restore his physical form magically from his ashes. There will be no difference. My magic is extremely powerful. I've practiced it for five hundred years. It cannot be compared to a spell done by a young girl in grief, no offence. I will call back his essence. But how he will be depends on what happened to him, where he has been between the moment he died, and the moment we bring him back. When you die, you don't necessarily go directly to where you're supposed to go. Sometimes, they try so hard to cling to life, that they hang around for a little while. In that case, he will be just fine. But I have to warn you. There is also the possibility that he is in Hell being tortured. In that case, he might not be the person you use to know. He might be..."
"Don't worry, been there, done that. I'll handle it." Buffy said, looking almost relieved.
Dawn looked at her questioningly.
"Angel" She said, answering the silent question.
"Oh, right."
The man in black shrugged. He had no idea what the two girls were talking about, neither did he care.
"So I take it you understand the ritual? First the body, then, the essence. Do not touch the body before the essence has been restored. If you do, everything will be over. I will chant the words, then give you the knife. You shed the blood on the ashes and you let me do the rest. Understood?"
They both nodded in silence. The Shaman took the black box from Dawn, and spilled it's content in the middle of the pentagram. Buffy winced and looked away. He then covered it with a long black sheet and lit a few candles. Then, he knelt, closed his eyes and commenced chanting.
Buffy's hands were shaking so badly that she had to put them on her knees to try to stop them. She couldn't stop staring at the bump the ashes made underneath the black sheet. Soon, soon. She snapped out of it when she realized a dagger was being held in front of her. With shaky hand, she took it, and without a second of hesitation, she slashed her wrist open. Her blood spilled instantly on top of the ashes. In an instant, the sheet glowed white and took shape. The shape of a body. It took Buffy every once of control not to touch it. Not to remove the sheet to see him. To keep herself busy, she ripped one of her sleeves to bandage her wrist. Not a good time to bleed herself to death.
That's when the Shaman stood up and resumed chanting, faster and louder. His hood fell off, and Buffy couldn't look at him. There was something disturbing about this skull with yellow glowy eyes. All of a sudden, he lifted his arms towards the sky, and light descended upon him. He captured it between his bony hands, held it for a second, then, getting down on his knees again, he touched the body with the light. The body jerked underneath the sheet, then nothing.
The Shaman stood up and pulled his hood back on his head. "I will leave you alone now."
Without another word, he went back to the shadow.
For one moment, Buffy looked at her sister. The young girl looked like she was in complete shock. Buffy hesitated. She thought she would just throw herself at him, but now, her hand was shaking as she reached for the black sheet. Taking a deep breath, she slowly pulled the sheet down. As soon as she saw Spike's face, her hesitations vanished and she quickly pulled the sheet down to his stomach, revealing his naked shoulders and chest. Instinctively, she put his head on her laps, willing him to wake up. That's when she noticed it. His chest. It was rising and falling, as if... breathing. She just stared in disbelief. She put her hand on his chest. Warm skin, heart beating.
"Hey! Big guy! Come back here... SHAMAN!!" Buffy screamed.
The blood drained out of Dawn's face.
"Buffy... What is it? Is he alright?"
The tall dark figure reappeared next to Buffy.
"What is it Slayer? Wrong vampire?"
"Ha ha, Real funny. What's wrong with him? He's... breathing!"
Dawn gasped in surprise.
"And that's wrong?"
"Well.." Buffy frowned, unsure. "I guess not"
"A vampire always comes back as a human. Don't ask me why, that's just the way it is. Now if you're not happy with it..."
"I.. I am. Not sure he will be though. I guess he'll have to deal."
Then it sunk in. Spike is human. No more reasons not to be with him. No more guilt for loving him and fight against her feelings. No more moral dilemmas. Nobody would have the right to judge her or despise her for being in love with a soulless vampire anymore. He was human now, human... Oh god, he would freak out!
"Oh God" Buffy whispered, still trying to make sense of all this.
Dawn looked like she was trying to say something, but couldn't find anything to say. So she just sat there, her eyes shifting from her sister to the unconscious ex vampire.
"Spike? Spike please, wake up." She smoothed his hair back, and lowered her head to whisper to him.
"Come on Spike, it's ok... you're alright now, you're with me. Come on baby, open your eyes."
She turned to her sister "Dawny?"
"Hum.."
"Would you do me a favor and go get his stuff in the trunk of the car? We can't take him out of here naked."
Happy to find something useful to do, Dawn nodded and jumped to her feet. When her little sister was gone, Buffy found a way to maneuver herself around so she ended up laying down on her side next to him, her body pressed close against his, her lips almost touching his ear.
"Hey sleepy head, I'd really like it if you'd wake up. I really missed you for the past couple of days. I think we have a lot of catching up to do..."
"Catching up uh?.. sounds like an idea." His voice was so rasp and low that she guessed the words more than she could hear them.
"Bloody... Hell" Spike moaned, obviously not at the top of his shape, but he managed to turn on his side to face Buffy. She smiled, tears in her eyes.
"Hey."
"Hey."
Their faces were now almost touching.
"I don't think I've ever been this happy to see anyone in my whole entire life." She murmured, her lips brushing against his as she spoke.
"Buffy... I.."
"I know, I love you too."
Dawn came back to find her sister and Spike kissing passionately. She waited and after a long moment, says:
"He's new to the human thing you know. I don't think he knows he has to breathe Buffy."
Buffy broke the kiss reluctantly and look up at her sister.
"Sorry Dawny"
Spike let himself back on the floor, closing his eyes, exhausted by the effort.
"Hey little bit... missed me?"
"Hey Spike. Yeah, a lot. But don't let it get to your head. You're already cocky enough as it is."
"And that's why you love me so much." He flashed one of his charming smiles at the girl.
Dawn gave her sister a resigned look.
"Yeah, I think he's gonna be fine. What do you think?"
"Already his old self again." She turned to Spike. "Feel like leaving this not so charming place and get some rest in a real bed. It has to be better than dirty floor..."
"Is this the part where we're gonna do some catching up?"
"Yep."
"In that case... I don't think I can walk just yet, but I'll try to crawl to the car. If one of you lovely ladies could just be kind enough to give the poor bloke something to wear..."
Dawn dropped a duffel bag next to him. When Buffy realized that Dawn was not moving, she got up and grabbed her little sister's arm.
"We'll be outside."
EPILOGUE
An hour later, they stopped the car in front of a motel's reception, somewhere in between Sunnydale and L.A.
Dawn got out of the car first, followed by the blond Slayer.
"So, can I have my own room?" the teenager asked with a hopefilled voice.
"Would you... like that?" Buffy tried not to sound too enthusiastic and relieved, but failed miserably.
"Buffy, I'm fifteen, not dumb. Your new boyfriend just came back from the dead. Pretty obvious you're gonna want to spend some quality ALONE time with him. It's no rocket science." The young girl nodded knowingly.
Buffy turned bright red.
"Great" She mumbled "Having sex conversation with my baby sister. Not at all something I wanted to avoid."
Dawn put an overly shocked expression in her large blue eyes.
"What? We were having a sex conversation?! I meant quality time having a conversation with Spike, not... eeew, having SEX!"
Dawn laughed at her sister when she saw her reaction.
"God you're so naive Buffy, you should be ashamed! Of course I'm kidding! Come on; let’s get those rooms."
When they came back out of the motel's reception, they found Spike leaning on the car, looking weak, but smiling at them.
"What the bloody hell took you girls so long?"
"We had to debate room arrangement, but it's all set now." Dawn answered. "I get room 103, and you guys get 220"
"What? You're not staying with us Niblet? I'm gonna miss you.." Spike said with an exaggerated pained expression.
"Yeah right. Don't worry, I'll come and visit in the morning" The girl got more serious as she asked her sister: "Buffy, you want me to call Willow to let her know we're alright?"
Buffy's eyes flashed with anger for a moment, but she sighed and said yes.
"So what should I tell her if she asks when we're coming back?"
"Tell her there is an annoying Slayer rule that says we can't kill humans. So as long as I will feel this urge to slash Xander's throat open, I guess we'll have to stay here."
"I could kill him. The rule doesn't apply to me." Spike chimed in.
"Okay. So Dawn, tell her we're gonna stay here for a LONG, LONG time."
She turned to face Spike, holding both his hands.
"Sorry babe can't let you do that. I just got you back, I don't fancy losing you again. Visiting you once a week in jail behind a glass is not the way I imagined the rest of our life."
He smiled to his Slayer.
"I love you Buffy"
"Love you too"
They started kissing again, quickly interrupted by the voice of Buffy's annoyed teenage sister.
"Hey! Why don't you guys get a room? Oh.. Wait, you've already got one! Now get in it!"
THE END
