Hold onto me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics used. Chantal Kreviazuk, Richard Marx, and John Michael Montgomeryare the owners. “Does she know that Angel is here?” Doyle asked. He had glanced up from the newspaper that he was browsing through to stare at Cordelia.

The brunette flipped her hair out of her face and replied, “Duh? No. You and Angel BOTH said not to tell her he was here because she might not come.”

Doyle nodded. “Good. Is she bringing anyone with her?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t say. She just said she’d be here as soon as possible.” Cordy paced a few steps and then flopped in a tattered leather chair across from Doyle’s desk. “And I’m not going to be the one she’s pissed at because he’s here. I’m totally telling her that you guys made me.”

“Look, hot lips.” Doyle threw his paper down and stood up. “She’s the slayer. It’s her duty to help save the world and I don’t really give a rat’s ass if she gets mad or if she gets upset. We can’t handle this stuff alone. This is bigger than anything we’ve faced.”

Cordy’s eyebrow shot up in disbelief. “Bigger than that vampire mafia at Venice Beach?”

Doyle nodded.

Cordelia thought for a second and then asked, “Bigger than that pack of…whatever it was that we fought by the waterfront?”

Again, Doyle nodded.

“Bigger than that demon who sucked the beauty and life out of people and not to mention tried to rip me off and sell me a Vera Wang knock off? It’s impossible to find a good dress in this city. Especially in MY price range. Angel’s a stingy boss.”

Doyle glared.

When it became apparent that Cordy was trying to think of what was worse than paying almost full price for a designer impostor, he leaned forward and stared into her eyes. “Let me put it into perspective, toots. If we don’t get the slayer out here and get her to help us, the fact that you can’t find a dress is going to be the least of your worries. The world…”

“Will be sucked into hell?” The brunette yawned. “At least I won’t have to worry about this fund raiser that I still have no dress for.”

Before Doyle could reply, Angel walked into the room and said, “Is she here yet?”

“Not unless she has a jet.” Cordy stood up and walked past him, toward the back of the agency where their home was. “In a way, I hope she does assault me for not letting her know you’re here. At least then I can sue someone and buy a dress. I work for free practically. And look at the clock, Angel. I’m here after eight pm. I got here at 8 am and no, I don’t expect you to increase my SALARY. I hate being on a salary. I’d rather make hourly pay. Don’t think I don’t know that you save money this way.”

Angel rolled his eyes as she shut the door. “She hasn’t changed one bit in the past year.”

“You afraid Buffy has?” asked Doyle, putting his finger right on the pulse of the situation as usual.

“People change. You and I know that better than anyone. Time can…” Angel trailed off, lost in thought.

“Time can run out.” Answered the other man, in a thick Irish accent. “And if you don’t keep yourself focused and let her do her job then it will.”

Buffy shoved the last of her luggage into Spike’s trunk. Giles had agreed that since he wasn’t able to get off work, and the others had classes, that she and Spike could go help Cordelia now and the rest of the gang could come, if needed, at the weekend. It was already Wednesday and Buffy wasn’t worried at all since her classes were going well. So Cordy had seen demons. A lot of demons and felt like Buffy should investigate the situation in Los Angeles. Didn’t seem too hard.

“Cor, Slayer. Are you sure you brought enough?” Spike took one look at the over stuffed trunk and slammed it, tossing his lone duffel bag into the backseat.

“Just because packing to you means tossing your only other jeans into a wrinkled sack it doesn’t mean I have to pack that way.” She started around the car and paused, staring at him over the top. “Want me to drive?”

“Not just no, pet. But HELL NO.” He grinned devilishly and got into the driver’s seat.

Buffy sighed and plopped down in the passenger’s seat. “Fine. But don’t blame me if YOU get another ticket.”

“Do I have to remind you that I got the last ticket because of your incessant whining that you were going to be late for that trashy thing you called a play?”

“It was NOT trashy and I enjoyed it. It was a *good* play.”

“Well, if you call naked people traipsing all over the stage throwing handfuls of paint at each other a good play then I suppose you would enjoy it.” Spike shrugged and started the engine.

“Spike.” Buffy shook her head and glared at him. “I realize that to you…culture is Billy Idol and his artistic lip curve while singing the same line repeatedly, but to SOME people culture is expressed in so many other ways. That play was a worldly experience.”

“Well, I’ll buy a can of paint and toss it at you the next time you’re whining about being stuck in Sunnydale. That should give you a culture shock and a piece of the world.”

Buffy flipped the radio on. “I don’t know why I bother with you.”

“Bother with me? You’re stuck with me. I’m stuck with you.” Spike smiled innocently and patted her leg. “Besides, it’s not all bad.”

“For who?” She grinned back, even though she could tell that she had walked into his trap.

“For you of course. You get to work with me.” He hummed along to the radio and winked at her.

Buffy was still smiling as they pulled away from the curb in front of her house and waved at Joyce and Giles. No, working with Spike wasn’t that bad at all. As a matter of fact, it had been her salvation. After Angel had left her she started a slow downward spiral that had almost cost her life one night. Spike had arrived just in the nick of time, saved her and then for the next few weeks, proceeded to shake some sense into her.

It wasn’t romantic between them. But every single time Spike touched her when they were slaying, or brushed her hair out of her face when she cried or just got near enough for her to see the dark blue of his eyes completely, she wanted it to be romantic. She wanted it with all her heart and soul. Listening to the music on the radio she lost herself.

~you're toast and jam
and you're cotton candy
you're double rainbows
beside a setting sun
you're wood burnin' outside
there's a fire growin'
you're sweet as green apples
you must be the one~

He was her friend. He probably wouldn’t even be willing to call it that but she did. She cared about him a great deal and so did her mom. The rest of the gang had come around slowly, Willow of course, accepting him just because Buffy did, but Giles and Xander weren’t as trusting. Spike had proven himself though and he was accepted for almost a year now.

No one really knew why he had shown back up in town. No one wanted to even begin to figure out what would possess an evil and respected vampire to suddenly ally himself with the enemy… but no one was sorry he did.

“Anyway,” Spike was saying, pulling Buffy from her thoughts. “I said, ‘Bloody hell, Willy, do you think I’m that stupid?’ and the git had the balls to say ‘yeah.’ Can you believe that?”

Buffy had completely missed the whole first part of the story so she simply said, “And what did you do?”

“Have you seen him recently?” The blond wiggled his brows and glanced at the Slayer.

“YOU KILLED WILLY?” Buffy screeched. “Spike, he’s like…he’s…”

“No, I didn’t kill the wanker.” Spike growled. “I just showed him that stupid people can come up with brilliant ideas.”

“You locked him in his wine cellar and left him there for a few days?” Buffy asked knowingly.

Spike growled again and stared at the road. “Someone told you?”

“No, stupid. But you have a fetish with locking people up.”

“I’m going to yank your three hundred bags out of the trunk and lock you in there if you keep on.”

“Promises, promises.” Buffy yawned and stretched. “I’m tired.”

The vampire opened his arm and motioned for Buffy to lean against him. She did, settling her body against his side and pulling her feet into the seat so she was comfortable. She probably could have been more comfortable in the backseat but she wasn’t going to say so. Right where she was made her happier than she’d been all week. Make that all year.

“You make a nice pillow.” She snuggled further against him, inhaling the scent that she knew so well. Smoke and just a hint of some masculine cologne that Buffy had never smelled on anyone else. It was a wonderful scent.

He chuckled and squeezed her affectionately, careful to keep a tight reign on his emotions. “Let’s see now. You’ve told me I have a nice shoulder to cry on, nice hands for massaging and make a nice prop when you get a rock in your shoe. Now I’m a nice pillow? You are just too kind to me.”

“That’s what I think too.” She said through another yawn.

“Did you remember to pack your medication?” Spike asked casually, before she could drift off. Her medication was even more necessary than his bagged blood.

“Of course. My mom chased me around the house with it and made she it was firmly in my purse.” She closed her eyes and didn’t feel anything except a degree of comfort she never knew existed. And didn’t exist outside his arms.

~you bring me to the heart of a golden man
you bring me to the natural truth
you take me to a solid hollow
and keep me sailing this ocean of youth~

He smiled when he heard her breathing deepen and felt her sag further against him. He really did like her. More than like. He was infatuated with every last detail of her. At first, he hadn’t been thrilled because she was so different and had none of the fire he had recalled but more and more he found himself grateful every day that he had found her when he did. Not just for her sake, but because he would have died without her.

Something he had never bothered telling any of them was the fact that he had come to Sunnydale to kill Angel and then himself. But that night he arrived and found the broken Slayer inside the mansion, crying like her entire world had been torn out from under her and about to be murdered by a vampire…he helped her. Because it made his life mean something again. Sure, it meant that he was helping his sworn enemy but he didn't have anyone else to help and he wanted to do something. He made it his mission to pull her, and himself, out of the bowels of the hell they were in. It was a long, slow and incredibly painful process for the both of them but in the end, they had developed a co-dependency on one another that made the both of them better off.

Now he lived for the moments like this. Being with her, near her without anything but who they were to stop them from admitting what he knew they both felt. He would never tell her that he wanted nothing more than to kiss her and make love to her and be with her forever. It was because of who he was and what he was. It was because of what she had already been through with a vampire lover.

He cared far too much to do that to her again.

So this was just fine with him. Stolen moments that seemed so innocent to the casual observer, yet meant the world to a lonely vampire who only saw the sunrise in a tiny Slayer’s hazel eyes.

And Los Angeles, her home town, loomed ahead of them with the promise of adventure and hope.

~lead me to the holy water
introduce me to the place you are from
wherever you go you know I will follow
so take me there and I will come
be my island
in crowds of faces
my oasis
be there~

Cordy threw her hands up in the air when Doyle asked her to go to the deli down the road and bring them all some dinner. Thatcher, the owner of the deli, knew about Angel’s special requirements and always saved blood from the roast beef. Grumbling, Cordy dug through the petty cash box. “Why can’t I use money from this to buy a dress for the fund raiser?”

“If you stayed out of that we wouldn’t need a fund raiser.” Doyle shrugged.

“Angel has more money than he lets on.” Cordy argued, shoving a twenty into her empty wallet.

Angel ran a hand over his head and exhaled loudly, even though he didn’t need too. “For the millionth time, Cordelia. After I pay rent on this huge building, where we work and live by the way, and buy supplies and advertise and do what I can to feed hungry children in Somalia I don’t have anything left over.”

“Somalia?” Cordy chirped. “You’ll feed strangers but you’ll let me starve and live in a creaky old warehouse with the two of YOU?”

“You don’t look like you’re starving.” Doyle stated, indifferently.

“I LOOK FAT!?” The girl rushed to the floor length mirror and turned from side to side. “Oh God. I do look fat. I can’t eat dinner. I can’t go to this fund raiser. I can’t even breathe!”

Angel cast Doyle a now-look-what-you-did-look before he stood up and pushed Cordelia out the door. “And make sure that Thatcher knows I’ll need enough for tomorrow too. I doubt I’ll have time to stop once this all starts.”

“Be glad I need the exercise or I wouldn’t walk that far.” Cordy snapped.

Angel contemplated locking the door and not letting her back in but instead he shut it and walked toward his desk in the corner. “It’s going to be a long night.”

“Maybe not.” Doyle shrugged. “If this Slayer is as good as you say then she might want to handle it herself and leave before morning.”

“She is not handling it herself, Doyle.” Angel rifled through a few papers and then crumpled them up, throwing them into a wastebasket furiously. “I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this. I can’t see her and act like it’s just another day at the office. I love her. I always will.”

“Then help her. Just don’t fuck it up. This is huge, Angel. Huge.”

Angel didn't need to be told. In all his years on earth, while good or evil, this was something he feared and knew that it was within reach at the moment. Nothing had prepared him for unearthing what was to come without Buffy's help. He still couldn't believe it. Giles should have known, would have known, if the council hadn't fired him. He was willingly putting Buffy in danger and that's how huge it was..

And he knew that he was in danger too. Danger of pulling her into his arms, losing himself in her love and letting his feelings lead his actions.

No, he didn't need to be told how huge it was. It was out of his hands.

And that wasn't okay.

Cordelia stumbled under the load of two sandwiches and several bags of blood. It wasn’t heavy but it was heavy enough to make her feel used. How had Cordelia Chase, Queen C of Sunnydale High School, become an office worker who usually wore jeans to work and catered to two demons non-stop? Why was she living in the same building as them and devoting so much time to helping others? “Because you’re poor and pathetic and so much like Xander Harris.” She answered herself aloud.

Buffy saw her old friend walking down the street and leaned out the window of Spike’s car. “Cordy! Hey!”

Cordy smiled, really smiled, glad to see a familiar face after such a long time of being alone. “BUFFY!”

Spike stopped the car and Buffy shot out of it. Cordy quickly sat her bag on the hood and hugged the Slayer. “Oh my God, it’s so good to see you.”

Buffy hugged her just as tightly and then pulled back. “You look great.”

Cordy shook her head in disbelief. “No, you look great, Buffy. Your hair is so long and look at your tan! Is that a Vera Wang dress?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Great.” Cordy narrowed her eyes and glanced at the detective agency behind her. “You, a college student, can afford a Vera Wang but I work my ass off and can’t.” “It was a gift.” Buffy smiled and used her thumb to point behind her at Spike, who had gotten out of the car and was smiling at their reunion.

“Hello.” Cordelia nudged Buffy and nodded with approval. “He’s fine as hell.”

“We’re just friends.” The blond girl whispered.

Cordy was looking at Spike again, this time intently. “Don’t I know him?”

Doyle poked his head out the door and said, “Delia, I’m starving in here!”

“Shit.” Turning quickly, Cordy motioned for Buffy to follow her and grabbed the bags of food. “I hate my life.”

Spike came around the car and grabbed Buffy before she could follow Cordelia. “I’ll let you two catch up, luv. I’m going to see about a hotel.”

“Jacuzzi?” Buffy almost drooled. “I’m going to make the most of this trip.”

“One jacuzzi coming up.” Spike winked and quickly walked down the street.

Buffy grinned and followed the girl into the old warehouse. She was surprised to find that it didn’t look half bad on the inside. A little dark for her tastes but definitely not as bad as the outside. There were three desks in the open area. One sat right in the middle of the room and the two others were in opposite corners facing each other. The room was quite large, with framed paintings hung around the bricked walls and several tall green plants. Buffy imagined Cordelia was responsible for that. The furniture was worn and the carpet had seen better days but it wasn’t an unpleasant room. Buffy wasn’t uncomfortable.

“So, you’re the Slayer.” Doyle looked her up and down. “You sure are small.”

Buffy looked at Cordelia in shock. “You told him I was the Slayer?”

“No.” Cordelia visibly shrunk against her desk.

“Then who did?” Snapped the angry Slayer.

“I did.” Came a soft reply from behind her.

Buffy turned and gasped. “Angel.”

Angel stepped out of the shadows and looked her up and down. She was thin. Far too thin but she was even more beautiful than he had allowed himself to remember. Her hair had almost doubled in length. It fell in soft blond waves almost to her waist and her skin was tanned and shining. Her small frame was encased in a pale blue sleeveless mini dress with matching sandals. She was breathtaking. “Hello, Buffy.”

“What’s going on?” Buffy looked from Angel back to Cordy. “What are you trying to do, Cordy?”

“She’s trying to save the world.” Doyle answered while Cordy looked upset and even sorry for Buffy.

“Who the hell are you?” she snapped, glaring at the man. “What is this all about?”

“There’s something happening here, lassie.” Replied Doyle, hoping his Irish luck would keep her from ripping into him. “I don’t think we’re equipped to handle it and such and you are.”

“Well, I’m not the Slayer anymore.” Buffy replied tartly. “I quit. I don’t work for the council and they don’t bother me. I don’t have any obligation here.”

She turned and headed for the door but Angel caught her arm and pulled her to face him. “Buffy, we wouldn’t have asked if it was a matter of life and death. The council isn’t asking. If we don’t work together and stop this then…”

“Let me go.” Buffy tugged her arm but Angel held on. It felt as though the room was beginning to close in on her and her heart was pounding so hard she felt it in her ears. An overwhelming fear was engulfing her and she didn't know how to stop it.

“Please, listen to me.” Angel begged, clinging to both of her arms now. “I know this is…”

“ What do you know?” Buffy shouted, then started to cry and throw limp arms punches at his face. She shouted at him, telling him to leave her alone and to let her leave all the while trying to get a grip on the panic that was seizing her.

Spike heard her and dropped the ice cream he had been licking as he headed back to the agency. He yanked the door open and morphed the second he saw Angel gripping Buffy and her sobbing, trying to break free. “Let her go, Angel.” He shouted.

“Spike?” Angel’s eyes narrowed as his face morphed as well..

“Spike!” Buffy yanked loose and flung herself at the blond vampire, clinging to him. She only felt safe with him. Only him.

Spike wrapped his arms around her protectively and glared at Angel over the top of her head. “What the hell are you doing?”

Cordy thought for several seconds and tossed in her two cents. “SPIKE! I knew I recognized you. From Halloween! I just thought you were some guy dressed as Billy Idol but you’re SPIKE!” Cordy pulled her heel off and threw it at the man, who batted it away but kept his grip on Buffy. “My life went down hill because of you, Mister. I got impaled AND Willow made out with my boyfriend.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Spike told the girl and pointed at Buffy. “Look at what you’ve done to her!”

“I want to leave.” Buffy sobbed, her face still buried in the front of Spike’s red shirt. “Please, Spike?”

“Yeah, baby. We’re leaving.” He glared around the room, as if daring anyone to object.

They all did. Angel began speaking but Doyle interrupted. “Hello William.”

Spike squinted and finally recognized the man. “Doyle?”

“If you take her and leave then you’ll be the cause of a greater hell than you can imagine right here on earth. We do what we can here to save people from themselves and we have been known to slay a few demons that got in the way but this isn’t something we can attempt to set straight. It’s going to take a Slayer and only a Slayer will do.” The man walked around his desk and paused, looking at the shaking girl in Spike’s arms. “I apologize, Buffy, for the pretense in which you were brought here, but all your loved ones and you yourself are in danger. Please help us?”

Spike didn’t trust many things in his unlife but he trusted Doyle. He had learned the hard way about human nature and demon nature and he knew that the man was telling the truth. Doyle was a special demon, one who wanted to spend their life making amends. Not one that was forced to, like Angel, but one who did it because they were strong willed enough inside to defeat the demonic urges without the aid of a pesky soul. “Buffy, maybe we should listen to them.” Spike urged.

Buffy pulled away and glared at him with disbelief. “You too?”

“I don’t agree with how they got you here, baby, but they may have had their reasons. It can’t hurt to hear them out, can it?” He moved to take her hand to reassure her but she yanked away. “Slayer, for the love of…”

“I’m leaving.” Buffy announced, unable to control the wave of anxiety that threatened to drown her. With a loud sob, she turned and pushed through the door. Doyle picked up his sandwich and threw it against the wall and Cordy sat at her desk, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.

“I’ll go after her.” Angel said softly.

“Like hell you will. I’LL go after her and you can loom in the corners.” Spike spun on his heel and rushed out onto the sidewalk. Looking up and down both ways for her. “Buffy?”

“What?” she replied from her slouching position in his car, where she was digging through her purse nervously. Relieved, he opened the door since he couldn’t see through the blackened windows and knelt beside her. “Oh, I thought you had run off.”

“I can’t find it!” She cried, tossing her purse into the floorboard and clutching her chest. Her breathing was coming in short ragged gasps and Spike could feel the panic attack coming on. He’d witnessed several, just none on the past few months.

“Your medicine?” He asked, moving past her to get her purse.

Buffy nodded, unable to speak now. He shook his head sadly, wondering if Angel knew what he had done to her to begin with, and dug through her purse himself. He found the bottle, hidden underneath a stack of tissue and handed it to her. Swearing silently, he took it back from her when he realized her hands were shaking too badly too open it and she didn’t have anything to wash it down with anyway.

He lifted her, able to tell that by now the pain in her chest was unbearable and she’d begin to hyperventilate any moment. He could also hear the pounding of her heart and was afraid she was going to have a heart attack. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done to carry her back into the detective agency in her current state but she needed some water and to stretch out if there was any help at all for her this time. It was bad and Spike was very concerned.

Angel met him halfway, staring down at Buffy. Spike pushed past him and put her on a decrepit couch in the corner. “Get me some water.”

Cordy rushed to comply and Spike looked around quickly, grabbing a paper bag off the table and dumping the containers of blood out. He held it in his hand, listening to Buffy’s breathing and when the time came, he held it up to her face for her. “That’s it, love. Just breathe.” She struggled to move the bag but he held it firm. “Stop it, Buffy.”

And to everyone’s shock, she did.

Finally, her breathing was semi-normal and Spike pulled a prescription bottle from his duster, took the water from Cordelia and gave her a pill. Buffy swallowed it, drank several gulps from the glass and handed it back to Spike. He smiled gently as he sat it on the floor. “That was a rough one, huh baby?”

Not saying anything, Buffy nodded slowly and closed her eyes. Spike moved beside her on the sofa and put an arm around her, massaging her back, knowing instinctively that she would have a backache from the tension. “I think it would probably be better to discuss this tomorrow.”

“No.” Buffy’s voice was raspy as she spoke and her hands were shaking but she spoke with conviction. “We’re here. Let’s find out why.”

Doyle looked at Angel. He had never seen the man look more shaken. The woman he was madly in love with was apparently not well and was sitting in the arms of a man Angel couldn’t stand. He didn’t know if anything could get worse.

“Fine.” Cordy shrugged. “I’ll explain.”

That was worse. Doyle shook his head and said, “No. I’ll do it.”

Angel nodded at the man and he continued. “Well, there are some vampires in town. They know stuff. Stuff that most vampires don’t know. We can’t be sure but we put the place under surveillance and Angel’s pretty sure that one of the vampires is someone from the council.”

“Wesley.” Cordy said, in a sad voice, then stifled a sob. “It was Wesley. I saw him too. He’s a vampire and we could have been…”

“Anyway,” Doyle flashed her an evil look. “from what we can deduce he had several volumes of books with him at the time that he was vamped.”

Angel interrupted. “We think he was turned on his way to the airport, after he was released from the hospital.”

Buffy nodded and looked back at Doyle. “They know stuff? What stuff?”

“Rituals. Spells. These books, they have information about you, about other Slayers and most of all…”

“What, mate? Bloody hell, this isn’t a soap opera. Stop pausing.” Spike growled.

“We have an informant. Sort of like Willy.” Angel stated. “He told us that Wesley was in there bragging that they are about to ‘create’ a new master vampire.”

“Create?” Buffy asked, forcing herself to get it back together. “And how does one create a master? I thought they just WERE.”

“They’re hunting for a strong vampire.”

“To dub with a magic sword?” Buffy said sarcastically.

“No. To kill and mix the dust with the dust of several other strong vampires.” Doyle said.

“Oh, of course.” The slayer shrugged. “I JUST studied that in my current affairs class.”

“This is serious, Buffy.” Cordy said. “You remember that other master guy. He killed you.”

Shrugging, Buffy stood on shaky legs. “Where is Wesley?”

“Surely you can’t mean to look tonight, Slayer.” Spike stood beside her, watching her closely.

“Well, what the hell else am I here for?” She snapped.

Grinning, Spike declared. “A hotel with a jacuzzi. And I found one.”

“You can stay here.” Angel said quickly, not liking the look on Spike’s face or what he was implying. “There’s plenty of room.”

“What!?” Yelled Cordy. “Yeah, Angel. There’s so much extra room here with the three of us already living together and working together. As a matter of fact why don’t I just go outside and hold up a sign that says ‘space for rent’. Notice I didn’t say ROOM. We lack room.”

Spike was ecstatic that Angel had to work and live with this girl. “The hotel is fine.”

“But…” Angel looked at Buffy again. “Buffy, what are you doing with Spike?”

Buffy grinned then. “Sitting in a jacuzzi until I prune hopefully.”

Spike nodded emphatically. “For starters.”

Buffy didn’t say anything to contradict him. She didn’t let on that they were just friends. She followed his lead. “No, we’ll save the jacuzzi for last.”

“This time.” Spike grinned, still relishing the look on Angel’s face.

“So tomorrow then?” Doyle asked, anxious to get rid of them so Angel could calm down, the Slayer could calm down and he could make the necessary arrangements for the weapons they would need.

“What time?” Buffy asked.

“Noon?” Cordy smiled, thinking that maybe they could have lunch and talk about stuff. Xander stuff.

“Not noon.” Spike shook his head, staring toward his sire. “She’ll be here when I can come with her.”

“Yet another reason you should stay here.” Angel said, wanting to get a chance with Buffy alone so he could ask her what the hell she was thinking. “This entire building is sunproofed.”

“We’ll be fine.” Sneered the blond vampire.

Cordelia shook her head as the couple walked past her out the door and said, “My God. I hope his soul is permanent.”

Angel’s eyes widened, realizing the implications and rushed to the phone. “I’m calling Giles!”

“Poor man.” Sighed Doyle, knowing full well that a game of twenty questions was about to start and when Angel got started he could go on and on.

Spike looked at Buffy who had curled into the passenger seat with concern. His gut was wound tight and he was terrified that she was about to pull into herself the way she had done a year earlier. Of course, he knew that if she did, he would stay and pull her back again but there was no part of him that longed to do that. They had reached where they were together and if she left him now…

“Buffy, the room I got is huge. It’s a suite and you’re going to love it.” Spike forced himself to smile, even though he wanted to let his face change, stop the car and tear his sire apart.

Buffy nodded at him but didn’t say a word. Her gaze was fixed to the dashboard and her fingers danced dumbly over the hem of her skirt, bunching and twisting it. Agonizing thoughts were playing through her head over and over. She was trying to figure out why the fates always threw a curve ball when the bases were already loaded and she was only prepared to bunt.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, staring at the road. He moved his hand to take hers and squeezed it, bringing it to his lips.

When his lips brushed her hand, she was pulled from her revelry and looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry! For what?” He exclaimed.

Tears welled up in her big, sad eyes and she shuddered as she spoke. “For freaking out back there. For being a basket case. For making you do so much for me.”

He parked in front of the hotel and shook his head. “You are not a basket case. I like when you freak out because you’re so damn cute and you don’t MAKE me do anything. I do it because I want to.”

“What?” Buffy snorted through her tears. “You want to help someone who’s so…”

“Perfect, Slayer.” He finished before she could, not liking the direction of this conversation. Convincing her why he wanted to help her would lead to over sharing, which would lead to admissions which would lead to guilt later which would make him cranky and he didn’t, no-couldn’t, be cranky with her now. “We’re here.”

She looked out the window and gasped. The hotel that was spread before them was so tall she couldn’t see the top from her position in the vehicle. Several young men stood ready to take their luggage with racks and a valet was moving to take Spike’s keys. “This is so beautiful, Spike. But you didn’ t have to get something so expensive.”

“I have this motto.” He grinned as he took her hand and pulled her out of his side of the car.

“What motto?” She had to grin back because he was still holding her hand even as they headed into the large foyer.

“Make Buffy happy, you’ll live longer.” He chuckled and she popped him on the arm. Things were going to be okay.

Giles sighed as Angel asked the same question for the hundredth time. “Why is she with Spike though?” “As I said earlier, Angel, Spike came back to Sunnydale, saved her life and then stayed when it was apparent that Buffy needed help.” The man sipped his coffee, glanced at the clock, and wondered how much caffeine he would need to make it through the next day.

“Why would Buffy need help?” Angel had already asked that too.

“I really feel that you should discuss this with Buffy.” Giles suggested. Buffy’s private life was her own and he wasn’t ready to face her wraith if he said too much.

The vampire couldn’t hide the bite in his voice. “I would have asked her, Giles, but she was too busy breathing into a paper bag and shoving pills down her throat to offer me much explanation.”

“She had a panic attack?!” Giles stood so he could at least pace off his own anxiety. “Was Spike with her?”

“Yes, he was with her. Of course he was with her. Why is he with her?” Angel shook his head and looked at Doyle. “And it was a panic attack?”

“Yes. She began having them right after you left and had to be put on medication.” Giles hoped that Buffy wouldn’t mind that he had shared that. At this point, he felt that any morsel he offered would be enough to get Angel off the phone.

“It’s my fault?” Angel asked it as a question but said it as an admission of guilt.

Sighing, Giles sat back on his sofa and flopped back against the cushions. “No offense, Angel, but I really don’t have the time to discuss this. I have an early morning and I’m tired.”

“I’m sorry.” The other man said sadly. “I’m just worried about her.”

“Well, if Spike is with her, I’m not worried.”

Angel shook his head again. “I just can’t comprehend why you would allow her to be with him.”

“I don’t allow her to be with him. She is an adult and the only purpose I serve to her now is as a mentor and sometime confidante when she gives me the honor.” Giles thought for several seconds and added. “But if she wasn’t with him willingly I would nudge her a great deal in his direction because I trust him and the way he handles her.”

“She doesn’t need to be handled!” Angel shouted, causing Cordy to rush back into the office wearing fuzzy slippers and Doyle to stand up. “He better not lay a hand on her because…”

“I must go now.” Giles was getting angry and when he got angry he didn’t like the thoughts that went through his mind.

“Please, Giles…” Angel began again.

“No. Really, I must go. I have to ask that you just believe me when I say that she’s with the best person for what she needs right now and I trust him. That should be enough for you to get past your reservations.”

“Don’t you want to know why we called her here?” Angel realized that he hadn’t bothered to let the man know what was happening.

Giles looked back at the clock, resigning himself to the fact that the sun would rise and set again before he slept, and made himself comfortable. “Go ahead then.”

Angel launched into the story of his time in Los Angeles and soon, sleep was the last thing on Giles’s mind.

“Ready?” Spike had his hand over Buffy’s eyes as he opened the door. He had left very specific orders with the receptionist as to how he wanted things when they came in.

“So ready.” Buffy nodded. She gasped when Spike moved his hand away and stared around the room. “Oh, it’s beautiful!”

And it was. The main area had two plush leather sofas that faced one another. A large glass table sat between them with a large bouquet of fresh flowers in the middle. To the right, tucked neatly into a corner, was a bar with upside down glasses hanging from an overhead wooden holder. All the woodwork in the room was a dark, glossy mahogany. Two doors opened on either side and as Buffy padded across the thick beige carpet toward the one on the right, she noticed a large kitchen off to the side.

Spike followed her into a large bedroom with a four poster bed. Grinning he watched as she pulled the sheer netting that hung from the posts back and admired the flowery linens. He looked past her, at the double doors the opened onto the balcony and walked around her. He felt her behind him and stepped aside so she could see the hot tub where it sat bubbling, sending a warm steam into the cool night. “Look inviting?”

“Oh yeah.” Buffy nodded happily and took Spike’s hand, squeezing it. “Thank you. Not just for this, but for everything. For the last year.”

“No.” He faced her, pushing a long lock of hair away from her face. “Thank you.”

For the briefest moment, she felt like he was going to kiss her. As they stood facing one another, nothing between them but the mist of the jacuzzi and the sounds of the city below them, the Slayer braced herself. Heat flooded through her body, desire coursed through her veins and a longing that she never knew raced through the core of her body.

Spike sensed the increase of her heartbeat. He could tell by how flushed she was that she was wanting more than a hot tub and a good nights sleep. Her eyes were on his lips, as if willing him to taste hers and he doubted she even realized that her thumb was trailing along the back of his hand slowly and sensuously. All his nerve endings seem to wind up there, causing the slightest movement to intensify. He had to do something. “Don’t you want to see the rest of the suite?”

She put a mask over the disappointment that question caused. She smiled brightly and nodded. “I’d love to. Can’t go bumping my shins in the middle of the night so I better get used to it.”

Still holding her hand, he led her back through and they explored their temporary surroundings. Buffy was impressed with how much attention had been paid to minor details and they both decided that the room was perfect. After they spent some time making sure it was sun-proof, Spike glanced at the clock. “It’s late. Do you want to sleep or…”

“Hot tub!” Buffy looked at him as though it were the strangest thing he’d ever asked. “What have I talked about all day?”

Spike had hoped she would decide to go to bed because the thought of her sitting on the deck, warm water soaking her skin and wetting the ends of her hair drove him mad with desire. And to top it off, he didn’t know how to suggest that he not get in with her and not hurt her feelings.

“You go ahead and I’ll be there as soon as I find my bathing suit.” Buffy walked toward her luggage.

“I don’t have a suit. Maybe I should..”

“Wear your boxers.” She shrugged.

“Right.” Rolling his eyes, he bit back the urge to tell her that women who knew everything were annoying. A few minutes later, he found himself stepping into the bubbling water and leaning against one of the pillows. He had to admit, it felt remarkable and as high up as they were, none of the city lights interfered with seeing the stars. He was searching for the little dipper when he heard soft music start playing and saw Buffy step through the sliding glass doors.

~ Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door
I saw you smile and my mind could not erase
The beauty of your face
Just for a while,
Won't you let me shelter you~

Buffy didn’t say a word. She couldn’t have said a word if she had to. Spike sat waiting for her with water droplets running down his smooth muscular chest. Both arms were draped over the sides of the tub and his steely gaze was fixed to her with interest. Her hands shook as she removed her robe and kicked her sandals off.

~Hold on to the night
Hold on to the memory
I wish that I could give you something more,
That I could be yours~

He was reminded then of how lucky he was not to have to breathe. His throat constricted when he saw her two piece bikini that left nothing to his imagination. It was black, or possibly it was midnight blue, but all he could see was the swell of her breasts, barely covered by the fabric. His eyes roamed lower as she folded her robe and bent over, putting it into a chair. Spike licked his lips and shifted uncomfortably, thankful he wasn’t wearing his tight jeans, as she stepped into the tub. He wanted to get out and jump off the balcony and not care until he hit the ground that he had been on the eleventh floor with a fully functioning dick and a girl he wanted to make love to slowly all night long.

~How do we explain something that took us by surprise
Promises in vain
Love that is real, but in disguise
What happens now
Do we break another rule, let our lovers play the fool?
I don't know how to stop feeling this way~

Buffy wasn’t going to make it. He was beautiful. She sighed, not just from the warm water lapping at her skin but because he had made her so content. And now so completely on edge because the urge to move into his arms and press her lips to his was almost palpable.

~Hold on to the night
Hold on the memory
If only I could give you more...~

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He had too. If he looked at her for one more second he would admit every single thought that he had entertained during the last year and he would be forced to confess what he felt. He couldn’t possibly do that. She deserved better than what he had to offer. Buffy deserved someone who was so different than Angel that there was no comparison, ever. Only a mortal could be that person. It wasn’t fair to her and it wasn’t fair to him. But he wanted it.

~ Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free
Every time I look into your eyes I'm helplessly aware
That the someone I've been searching for is right there~

With his eyes closed, Buffy thought he looked almost boyish, but she realized that the firm masculinity of his chest contradicted that completely. The water bubbled, lapping across his nipples and she found her eyes drawn there, imagining herself spraying hot kisses along his collarbone and stopping there. She closed her own eyes but realized that in her mind’s eye the image was even more appealing. When she looked again, he was looking at her and she smiled.

“This is nice.” Spike mumbled, needing to break the silence.

~Hold on to the night
Hold on to the memory
I wish that I could give you more....~

“Very nice.” Buffy nodded. Then she silently added, ‘If being tortured is nice.’ Her brows knitted as she realized that SOME people found torture very nice and sexual and hmmm…

Spike watched her face go from one of contentment to one of concentration and glee. “What?”

“Huh?” She jumped a little and her eyes widened, afraid that he had read her mind and knew what she was thinking about doing to him.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Splashing you.”

“Don’t even think about it. I’ll drown you if you do.”

She scooped a handful of water and tossed it into his face. “Drown me.”

He was on his knees at once and she joined him, both trying to dunk the other. He got the upper hand and soaked her, holding her down for several seconds before he pulled her back up. “Now apologize.”

“No.” She sputtered, wrestling with him through her giggles.

This time he let her get the upper hand and she pinned him under the water. When she pulled him back out she found herself straddling his waist and his hands on her hips. She laid her hands on his arms and quietly said, “We…we should get some sleep, right? The sun…”

Spike stared off at the horizon, not realizing how much time had gone by. The first eager shades of orange were creeping up over the city. He nodded and pulled his hands away. She stood, pausing briefly, leaving her pelvic area at his face level, then stepped from the tub. “Aren’t you coming?” she asked.

He couldn’t have answered if he had to. The sight of the small triangle of cloth between her legs a few mere inches from his face removed all his speaking skills. A nod was all he could muster and he stood, shaking with desire he followed her through the bedroom.

He sat on the sofa while he waited for her to change so he could say goodnight. After ten minutes, he knocked lightly on the door and pushed it open. She was sprawled back on the bed, wearing a RugRats nightgown and big fluffy socks. Spike walked to the edge of the bed, looking down at her. Her hair had almost dried and she looked so peaceful. Gently, careful not to wake her, he lifted her so he could pull back the cover and then tucked her in the bed. Satisfied she wouldn’t get cold, he ran his hand over her cheek and kissed her temple, lingering long enough to inhale her scent.

Distance. He needed to put distance between them. It wasn’t like she hadn’t slept at his house before. They had done this a million times. He moved quickly, willing his feet back across the living room and into the other bedroom. He yanked off his wet boxers and tossed them on the floor and burrowed himself in the cover, trying to get away from everything he wanted. Which was only Buffy.

Was wanting and having one thing so bad? He wondered. Yes, he decided that it definitely was so bad. He begged his erection to go away, tried to visualize gross things and nasty hookers. Nothing helped. Finally, he thought about how angry he was at Angel and it went away almost instantly..

The sun was bright by the time he dozed.

Buffy awoke with a start and said, “Spike?”

He wasn’t there, wasn’t in the room and she felt a rush of fear. She leaped from the bed and headed toward the other room. As she opened his door and saw the lump beneath the cover, she relaxed, and stepped inside. Trying not to wake him, she slid in next to him and pressed herself against his cool skin.

Spike rolled to face her and opened his eyes, still groggy. “Are you okay?”

When he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest she answered. “I am now.”

The vampire was very, very glad that someone was okay. He certainly wasn’t. He rattled every cuss word he could think of through his head as his arousal grew and grew. And this time, even thoughts of killing Angel didn’t make it go away.

Buffy stirred and sat up, looking around for Spike. A glance at the windows told her that it was late afternoon and she cursed herself for sleeping so late. She had wanted to get up, go talk to Cordy and be back before he awoke so he wouldn't know. Something about best laid plans…

She shoved the cover back and walked into the living room. He sat on the couch, dressed in leather pants and nothing else, laughing at something on the television. When he saw her he flipped it off and stood. "Hey."

"Ever the gentleman." Buffy smiled, surprised yet again that this was SPIKE. "You can sit back down though because I'm going to get a shower and get ready. Hopefully we can get everything taken care of tonight."

Nodding, he handed her a menu and said, "Room service? I'll call and order while you're in the shower."

"So sweet." She mumbled, staring at the menu. She decided to stick with something light and chose a salad.

"A salad?" Spike frowned. "You're a human being. Why would you eat something like that?"

"What?" Buffy grinned. "You're suddenly a big expert on what humans eat?"

"I know what is and isn't healthy." He took the menu and stared at it. "How about a steak?"

"I have a stake."

"Slayer, you're eating more than a salad." He was still staring intently at the menu. "Go on. I'll get you something."

"I'm suddenly terrified." Buffy eyed the menu over his shoulder. "Nothing greasy! I don't need zits because I have that oral presentation in psychology class next week and nothing really starchy because…"

"Get out!" He pointed toward her bedroom and she muttered several lewd comments under her breath but complied.

Grinning, he watched her shoot him a dirty look and shut the door. He liked making decisions for her. Maybe it was his domineering side but whatever it was felt nice. He wondered why he had such a soft spot for needy women as he flipped through the menu. It was like he needed to be taking care of someone to be whole. He wanted to chalk it up to the fact that he had been driven to be a doctor when Angel changed him…a surgeon perhaps. Which probably explained his fascination with tearing people apart with railroad spikes. He just wanted to see how they worked. Grinning at the good old days, he picked up the phone and ordered her a medium well stake, baked potato and a vegetable medley. He was going to ask for a special desert but the woman on the phone cut him off. "Rude Bitch." Thinking about his past and being angered by the woman left him hoping the night would bring an abundance of violence.

Or maybe Angel could trip and fall into his stake.

A man had nothing if he didn't have hope.

Cordelia zipped her black jeans and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Adjusting her dark blue shirt, she sighed. She had looked positively frumpy next to Buffy the previous day and if Buffy wore another Vera Wang she would offer herself as a sacrifice to get out of the Slayer's shadow. It was supposed to be the other way around. SHE was supposed to be the one in the spotlight.

Biting back tears, she looked at her half empty closet and the three pair of shoes. Just over a year ago she had enough shoes to make Imelda Marcos jealous and now she had three pair. The tennis shoes wouldn't do. She had worn the heels yesterday so she settled on the black boots. Cordy was sure that if anyone ever found out she had sold all her clothes, jewelry and lingerie just to get to California where she hadn't even gotten a callback to her auditions, she would die.

Dressed, she stared at her hair. Hair that once looked so polished and shiny and had every indulgence now relied on Suave to make her look like she had spent a fortune on her hair but actually spent less than five bucks. She lifted her silver handled brush, the only thing she had left to remind her of her previous wealth and closed her eyes, dragging the hard bristles through her hair.

Then she did something that used to terrify her. She dug through her bureau and took out a teasing comb, intent on giving her hair some life no matter how cheap the products were.

"Hurry up." Spike said for the fifteenth time. "The sun's been down half an hour and the wanker will think I've killed you or something."

"It's your fault." Buffy called back, her voice muffled by the bedroom door, which she had closed so she could get dressed. "I can't get my pants to zip because you made me eat three tons of food!"

"Then wear a dress." He suggested, staring at the clock again. The night couldn't end until it started. It was going to be a long night if this was the pace.

"I can't." She cried. She was lying on her back, struggling to tug the zipper up of her favorite leather pants. Willow had bought them for her when she went to Baja with Oz so he could perform. There was a motorcycle show there that they went to just to see what it was about and her friend had found these and said they screamed, "Fuck You."

Buffy wore them when she wanted to look unapproachable and bad ass.

"Why can't you?" Spike stuck his head in the door and narrowed his eyes. She KNEW that those pants drove him insane! "Yes, wear a dress."

"I'll probably be slaying tonight, Spike. Sorry if I don't want to show the world my thong."

He saw her point. "Let me try."

"Don't pinch me." She told him, but moved her hands away.

As he clasped the zipper, he brushed the smooth skin of her stomach with his fingertips, causing them both to visibly shudder. After several attempts he said. "It's not going."

"It has to go."

"You brought your entire wardrobe so pick something else." He was tired of seeing her skin so exposed, so ready to be kissed.

"If I wanted to wear something else then I would have picked it out first." She snapped and began tugging at the zipper again.

"Well, can't you at least look for something else?"

"It took me thirty minutes to pick this outfit. Do you really want me to go through every single suitcase until I find something else? Because I'm a woman, I know for a fact that I want to wear THIS outfit and nothing else will make me happy."

"Bloody HELL!" He stalked around the room and finally yanked a coat hanger out of the closet. He tried to fit the hook through the small hole in the zipper pull but it was a little too big. Swearing, he peeled the plastic coating away and tried again, fitting it through and tugging upward.

It gave and so did he. As her pants zipped, he fell on top of her. Buffy gasped and he shot back to his feet, trying not to appear out of sorts. He looked at her and said, "Ready?"

"Shoes. Let me get my shoes." She got to her feet and quickly grabbed a pair of black boots from her closet. It was undeniable. She had felt it. There was something between them besides the coat hanger he had stuck through her zipper. When he fell on top of her she had felt HIM…hard as a rock and digging into her pelvic bone. It didn't matter what she faced that night.

How was she going to get her mind off of THAT!?

"I can't take my mind off of it." Angel snapped. "This is BUFFY we are talking about here."

Doyle finished buttoning his shirt and stood, slipping on his loafers. "I know who she is. I know what she is. And she HAS to be our salvation and she can't do that if you upset her to the point she's breathing into a sack again."

The vampire slumped against the wall. Seeing Buffy that way had broken his heart in two. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think she would be so…weak. Was she even strong enough to do anything about this? "What if she isn't strong enough?"

"She will be. And she'll have all of us to help her." Doyle brushed past him. "And what did you do to your hair?"

"Nothing." Angel replied, running a hand through his soft gel-free hair. He hadn't even remembered to fix his hair.

"That's what I thought." Grinned Doyle.

"Fuck!" The vampire cringed and stalked toward the door.

Cordelia, with bigger hair than even Angel usually had, stuck her head in. "They just pulled up."

"Cordy, have you seen my gel?" Asked her boss. "It was almost empty."

"Uh, yeah." The brunette patted her hair. "A little bit went a long way."

He shut his eyes. "You used it all?"

"It was almost empty." She replied with a small shrug.

Angel pushed past her and went into his bedroom. Cordy watched him go and said, "Great. Now he'll be mope boy all night."

"What was his reason before?" Doyle asked, following Cordy to the office.

Cordy immediately frowned at her choice of clothing when she saw Buffy. The girl looked amazing. Her hair was blown straight, hanging down her back almost to her waist and it was parted deep on the side and held back with a metal clip. She was wearing black leather pants with some pattern in them and a red velvet body shirt that looked so luxurious Cordy wanted to ask to touch it. She looked natural and beautiful, whereas Cordelia had spent forty minutes and a can of hair spray making sure she had fake body.

Buffy saw her and smiled, dropping the bag she had brought in. "Hey Cordy!"

"Hi." She said sadly, still eyeing the girl's thin frame. "You look good, Buffy."

"I dressed for function. These are my lucky pants." Buffy couldn't believe it but she'd swear that Cordelia Chase was envious of her clothes. HER clothes and not the other way around. "I like your shirt. It's a great color."

Cordy only nodded and stepped aside as Angel walked through the door wearing a base-ball cap. Spike snorted and said, "Aww. Did Pooh run out of the sticky stuff?"

"Shut up, Spike." He looked at Buffy as he said it, drinking in her appearance and deciding that she had, indeed, changed in the last year. She was still beautiful, but he could see a hardness to her that she never had before.

"He's out of gel." Cordy shrugged. "And Angel, you so don't have a hat head."

"Did you see There's Something About Mary, Angel?" Buffy asked innocently.

"No. Is it good?" He was shocked and pleased that she was making casual conversation with him.

The sound of Spike and Cordy's laughter made Buffy join them and she nodded. "Great grooming tips. Cameron Diaz's character, Mary, was able to get more lift in the front of her hair than anyone."

"I'll have to watch it." He nodded, weary of what he'd actually see because the laughter was unbearable.

"I'll HAVE to be there for that." Cordy winked at Buffy.

"Anyway," Doyle interrupted. "To address the business at hand…"

"Right." Buffy stopped giggling and went into full Slayer mode. "I have a few questions."

"I have a FEW answers. Not many, I'm afraid." Doyle offered an apologetic shrug and sat down.

"When is this ritual set to take place?" She asked absently, squatting to look in the side of her bag for a stick of gum.

"Saturday. That gives us three days counting tonight."

"Is Wesley the lead vampire right now?" Buffy asked, lifting her bag and sitting it on his desk, still rummaging.

"We think so." Angel answered.

"You THINK so?" Buffy raised an eyebrow and stopped looking for gum. "I need to KNOW so. I mean, he's dead either way but I need to get my priorities worked out here. I need to know who to go after the hardest. How many vampires do you think are involved?"

"Roughly, I'd say about forty, give or take a few." Doyle frowned.

"I need you guys to take me to their…lair…I guess. I need to bug the place while you guys cause a distraction."

"Bug?" Asked Cordy, looking confused. "A bug?"

"I'm going to plant a bug inside the building." Buffy finally found a pack of Bubble Yum and shoved a piece into her mouth.

Spike shook his head. "I thought this was a detective agency. She doesn't know what a bug is?"

Angel and Doyle both shrugged, inwardly embarrassed by her lack of knowledge and the fact that they still kept her on the payroll.

Buffy popped a big bubble and said, "With that many vampires involved I don' t feel comfortable with just barging in and kicking ass. I want to hear what 's on their pathetic little minds and take them out a few at a time. When I thin out their family, I'll make my move."

"Sounds like a good plan." Spike smiled, proud of her for staying focused.

"No it doesn't." Doyle said. "If we cause a distraction then they're going to know we're on to them."

"Not necessarily." Cordelia smiled, pleased with herself for offering to help. "I'm the queen of distraction."

"I don't want to put you at risk, Cordy." Buffy shook her head. "I guess I can take my chances alone and hope they're all out hunting."

"No." Spike shook his head firmly. "You aren't going in alone. No one knows that I've been working with you because we kill everyone who does. Poof here didn't even know. I'll go inside and talk to them, pretend I want in on the action and check out who is behind it. Hopefully, I can get them out for a beer and you can make your move."

"I don't know." Buffy's stomach churned at the thought of him being in the middle of things. He could hold his own with the best of them but if anything ever happened to him, she'd die too.

"We don't have a lot of time." Doyle stated the obvious.

"Okay. Surveillance first. I want to get a feel for the area anyway." Buffy shrugged.

"We don't exactly have much in the way of equipment." Doyle cleared his throat. "Actually, we don't have much in the way of anything."

"I do." Buffy quickly unzipped her bag and pulled out several high tech pieces of equipment.

"How did you get this stuff?" Angel lifted several of the items, amazed at how prepared she was. "Half of this is military."

"Xander's a manager at that Army surplus store on Vega Street. He kinda…uh…contributes to the cause." She pulled out three pair of night vision goggles and five tiny black boxes.

"Xander is a manager somewhere?" Cordelia couldn't believe it. "He isn't even twenty yet."

"They were amazed at his military knowledge. Remember Halloween?" Buffy turned and slid one of the boxes into Spike's pants pocket and then handed him an ear piece and a microphone. "These are hands free walkie-talkies. We tried the hand held kind for a while and they always got smashed or lost. You can hide the case and microphone pretty easily and the earpiece can't be seen unless you're looking for it."

She slid one into her own pants and handed the others their own. As they all hooked themselves up, she dug through the bag again and pulled out several stakes, passing them around. By the time everyone was jacked in, she had pulled out three small flat disks with wires on either side. "These are the bugs I'll plant. I doubt I'll get the chance tonight but I'll take them just in case. We have a receiver in Spike's car that let's us flip between the three and listen to any conversation that goes on within thirty feet. They have a life expectancy of about seventy-two hours and it should be done by then."

Finally, Buffy slid a black vest on and zipped it over her shirt. There was a flashlight, a rope, several odds and ends and Holy Water strapped to it.

"Whoa!" Cordy smiled. "It's an Old Navy High Tech tech Vest!"

Buffy laughed and nodded. "I'll break out in dance any moment now."

"Let's get a move on then." Doyle shoved two stakes into the pockets of his jacket and walked past them. "By the way, we'll all have to go in your car."

"We have a van." Cordy quickly added, already embarrassed by how much they didn't have. "But it's torn up. Angel can't drive."

That gave Spike an idea. He was going to inflict the worst amount of pain possible without touching these people.

"Buffy, you drive."

"Yay!!!" She cried, snatching the keys he offered.

They weren't going to know what hit them.

"Red light!" Doyle screamed. "It's RED!"

"Red means stop." Cordy cried, seeing the busy intersection zooming toward them at sixty miles per hour. "Buffy!"

Buffy slammed the brakes and the car skidded to a stop, throwing the occupants in the backseat against the front seat. "Quit bumping my seat. It distracts me."

"And it hurts me!" Cordelia pried her face off the cool leather and shook her head. "You shouldn't slam the brakes like that."

"Did you want me to stop or not?" Buffy looked at the girl in the rearview mirror, wigging a little because she couldn't see Angel or Spike who sat on either side of her.

Doyle clutched his stomach when the light turned green. "I've never been carsick riding in the front seat until now."

"Good, mate. You can ride here on the way back." Spike didn't much like being so close to Angel and he had been hoping he'd get the chance to lean across and whisper stuff into Buffy's ear just to annoy his freakin' knob of a sire. But no. Doyle HAD to ride up front because he got carsick.

"I'd probably live longer if I rode back there!" Doyle let out a high pitched screech as Buffy narrowly missed a moving van that shot through one of the alleys and crossed in front of them. Then he swore loudly as she flew through a dip in the road that caused all of them to leave their seats and bump their heads on the roof of the car. "My head!! Am I bleeding?"

"Where is the turn?" Buffy asked. They had said it wasn't far past the red-light.

"It's coming up on your left." Angel hadn't let go of the passenger headrest since Buffy started the car. "Slow down, Buffy, you're almost there."

"What?" she flipped the radio off and turned to look at Angel. "I didn't hear you."

"BUFFY LOOK OUT!" Cordelia screamed, pointing at the car that had stopped in front of them.

Buffy turned back to look at the road and stomped the brake again. She saw the side road and took it when she realized that she wouldn't stop in time. Unfazed by the near death experience she said, "Oh, this is the right road, isn't it? There's the red awning and the blue sign. The warehouse district."

Doyle looked across the seat at her like she was insane. "We can walk the rest of the way."

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked, getting ready to hit the brakes if he was.

"God, yes." The man nodded his head violently.

So the brakes were slammed and Buffy careened in a half circle, fitting the car nicely against the curb next to a meat packing warehouse. "Like a glove." She mimicked Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. A movie that Spike couldn't get enough of.

She heard him chuckle behind her and smiled. "How far is it, Doyle?"

"Oh, about a mile." Angel said when it was apparent that Doyle couldn't form sentences, only grunt.

"A mile!" She reached to start the car again but Doyle snatched the keys.

"I...I'd ...r..r..r..rather walk, if y..y..you don't m..m..m..mind." He stammered.

"We'd all rather walk." Cordy was trying to claw her way out of the backseat.

"Fine." Buffy threw her hands up, defeated. "But you can be the one who runs like hell to get the getaway car if something goes wrong."

"Nothing will go wrong." Spike stated calmly. "It's just surveillance, right?"

Buffy nodded and stepped out of the car followed by the others. Doyle had turned a sickly shade of green and Cordelia was as pale as Angel. "Let's go."

Spike matched his pace to Buffy's and the others tagged along behind. For Angel's benefit, he made a great show of pushing her hair back so he could look at her earpiece and then readjusted it, running his thumb over her cheek as he did. He didn't have to look back to know that three sets of eyes were watching their every move. He also didn't have to look at Angel to know that the man was seething.

"It's just up on the left." Angel said in clipped even tones.

As they cleared a row of buildings, Buffy was able to make out a large factory set far back off the road. "What is it with vamps and factories?"

Spike just shrugged, digesting the smell of human blood that was clinging to the air. He was about to tell Buffy that there was death here when she made a motion with her hand and everyone followed her off the side of the road, into some tall grass.

"There's a car coming." She whispered.

Sure enough, a battered limo was pulling away from the factory and several men could be heard shouting farewells. As the car passed, someone tossed something from the window and it landed a few feet away from the group, then disappeared around a bend.

Buffy moved out of their hiding spot first and pulled a flashlight from the vest she was wearing. "Oh, that's a bad sign."

"What?" Asked Angel, coming to stand beside her.

"Remember last time there were severed arms?" She pointed at the human arm lying on the side of the road.

"I sure do." Cordy squeaked. "And I am NOT picking up anymore pieces ever."

Twenty minutes after the severed arm had been thrown from the limo; Buffy and the others had made their way almost to the building, weaving in and out of the few things they had to hide behind.

Buffy stuck her head out from behind a large canister and glanced toward the main entrance. She started to stand and move closer but Spike caught her arm. "No, ducks. There's a security camera at about two o'clock."

She squinted and put her night vision goggles on. Sure enough, a camera, which was attached to a large metal pole was panning slowly in a complete circle. "See any others?"

"No." He shook his head, unsatisfied with the amount of shelter they had and the way Angel kept looking at Buffy. And he had seen her looking back. Damn it all.

"Okay." Buffy turned and faced the others, pulling her hair on top of her head and securing it with a clip. "I'm going to go disable the camera. Odds are, they're too stupid to monitor it anyway, but I'm going to shut it off and see if anyone comes out."

"But…" Angel interjected, leaning toward her. "Wesley knows you, Buffy. If he sees you on tape..."

Without another word, she pulled a ski-mask from her pocket and tugged it over her face. "And the camera adds ten pounds. I'm safe."

"I'll come with you." Spike offered, making a move to follow her and moving in between Buffy and Angel.

"No." She shook her head and put a hand on his thigh. "I don't want to ruin your chances of getting on the inside, Spike. It's a last resort, but it may be our only option. If they see you now…"

Spike nodded, knowing she made perfect sense, and her hand on his thigh making him agree to anything. "Just be careful."

Buffy patted him on the leg and turned back toward the camera. She watched it until it was facing away and then made her move. She ran at a full sprint to the pole and paused, looking upward at the camera. It made another pass with her directly under it, out of its range. As it panned away, she shimmied up the pole easily, never struggling or slipping.

Once she reached the top, she pulled a wire out of the back of the camera, not wanting to make it obvious that it had been tampered with. The camera made a whirring noise then stopped moving. Satisfied it was disabled, she swung herself from the pole to the low roof of the building, where she ducked down to wait.

"Shit!" Doyle said. "She just made a fifteen feet jump, easy."

"That's my girl." Angel smiled.

Spike glared at him. "Really?"

"What?" asked the dark haired vampire.

"When did she suddenly become 'your girl' again?"

Angel held up a hand. "Don't start with me, Spike. You know damn well that I was just.."

"Just saying stuff to get under my skin!" Spike growled. "She isn't your girl."

"Is she yours?" Angel snapped. "Because I think we both know how bad YOU would be for her."

"You kiss my bloody arse!"

"Guys!" Cordy hissed and pointed at the building. Two men, presumably vampires, had come out and were staring up at the motionless camera, talking.

From his vantage point, Spike could see Buffy lurking at the edge of the building, listening intently to what the men were saying. He heard a beeping in his ear and turned on his mic. "What's going on?"

"I don't think anyone else is here. I'm gonna take them out and put the bugs in." Buffy whispered.

"No." Spike looked at Angel, who was listening with his earpiece as well. Angel shook his head in agreement. "You can't be sure no one's there."

"I may not get this chance again." Buffy said quietly.

The men started back toward the door and Spike said, "Just stay out of sight and let them go back in. We'll go with the other plan."

"Which plan?" she asked, knowing full well it was the one where Spike pretended to be interested in their evil plot so he could find out what was up.

"The one where I distract them so you can get inside." He kept his eyes trained on the spot where she was on top of the roof. At least with his plan, he'd be able to do more than he was now. He saw her rise to her knees and said, "Don't Buffy!"

It was too late. She didn't like the thought of Spike doing anything so dangerous so she dropped down, blocking the door. "All losers run this way." She mumbled.

The men rushed her but she stood her ground, quickly disposing of the weaker of the two. The remaining vampire was strong and moved fast. Buffy dropped her stake and struggled to get it and he seized the moment to lift her over his head like a barbell and throw her against the side of the building. Addled, but not about to give up, Buffy rolled back to her feet and swept the man's legs out from under him, ramming her stake through his chest.

"I'm going in." She whispered, moving toward the door. Her head ached, bleeding a little from a scrape on her cheek and she could already feel that she would have a huge bruise on her hip and leg but she wanted to get it done.

"Buffy, get your arse back over here, now." Spike growled, not realizing his face had changed.

"You guys just stay right there. If I need you I'll call." She ducked through the door and glanced around. She wanted to do it. Buffy wanted to get the job done and prove that she hadn't lost her touch, not just to them but to herself as well. Seeing the security area, she peeked inside and pressed one of the bugs into the corner of the desk on bottom, pulling the wires together and twisting them to activate it. "I just placed the first bug. I'm moving in and to the left, toward an area of what appears to be offices." She was careful to keep her voice low. All her senses were on edge and she could tell there were other vampires inside the building.

Spike was too angry with her to even reply, so Angel said, "Are you alone?"

"I don't think so. I think there are more vampires further inside. I'm going to try to drop at least one more bug in a good place and get out of here." Buffy pressed herself against the wall as a door opened and closed at the back of the building. "No, I'm definitely not alone."

Doyle heard something to their left and turned to see headlights approaching. He lowered his mouth to the microphone and said, "Buffy, someone's pulling up out front."

"Shit." Was her muffled reply. "I'm gonna hide."

Frantically, she tried several of the doors and finally found an open room deeper inside the factory. She huddled behind several boxes and said, "I'm safe. I'm completely hidden."

Spike adjusted his binoculars as several people stepped out of the van that had pulled up. He wasn't surprised to see Lyle Gorch among them, that man was into everything. He also recognized one of his own minions, Nigel, and another man named Leeth. Angel motioned for the binoculars and Spike handed them to him.

"Leeth." Angel shook his head. "Should have known. Wesley is with them, Buffy."

"I'll keep that in mind." Buffy said sarcastically, wondering what she had gotten herself into. If she wasn't out of there come sunrise, they would have to leave her and she would have to rely on Cordelia to save her. "How many are coming in?"

"Seven by my count." Replied Angel, still looking at the men as they entered the building. "And they've got guns."

Spike yanked the binoculars away and shook his head angrily. Three of the men were carrying rifles. The human killing kind. No tranquilizers in there. A fear that he had never felt before had clenched him in it's jaw, grinding into his heart. He knew how very close he was to losing her. To losing the only thing he had. The only thing he wanted.

"Maybe I should distract them now."

"No!" Buffy hissed into her microphone. She wouldn't put him at risk. "Just stay where you are. I'll get out as soon as I can. Don't blow this, Spike"

The men went inside the building and Angel said, "They're inside."

"I hear them." She whispered. An overhead light suddenly came on and she ducked low. "Shit, now I see them. They're in here with me."

"Can they see you?" Spike kept his head, everyone had to give him that. He was shaking and leaning his head against the metal canisters they were hidden behind but he kept his head.

"No. Shh. They're talking about Saturday." Buffy adjusted her weight and lifted her head just enough to let her peek over the boxes and see the men.

Wesley? Vampirism had definitely been kind to Wesley. His hair hung around his face, longer than Buffy remembered and he wore no glasses. He was wearing blue jeans, a tight black T-shirt and black boots, something that made her mouth open in shock. He was handsome as a vampire. ~Shit, what is it with me and vampires?~ Wesley ran a hand over several jars on the table, absently stroking the lids. "It's such a treat really. We should all be so thankful."

"For what?" Lyle Gorch asked in a heavy Southern accent.

"Why, for me, of course." Wesley grinned. "Were it not for me, none of this would be a reality. I think that you would all be wise to keep that in mind."

"Yes sir." All the men replied.

"Shall I tell you what will become of you if you forget?" Grinned the ex-Watcher, pulling some sort of wooden device from behind the desk.

Buffy cocked an eyebrow. He certainly did have the imposing asshole routine down pat. The fact that he knew her inside and out made her more than a little anxious. She had sparred with him. Many times. He knew her weaknesses, her strengths and her best moves. Not to mention it wigged her out just seeing him in JEANS. What would she do when she saw his fang-face?

All the minions agreed that they didn't need to know what would happen if they forgot who was boss and Wesley looked dashed. "I was so hoping I could use one of you as an example." He looked at them again, as if willing one of them to get out of line. "Very well then, allow me to explain the procedure."

There was a rustling of feet as the men gathered around the table at the front of the room. Buffy, at the back of the room, didn't dare try to move closer but she did turn her microphone up so everyone on the outside could hear what was being said.

"Inside these jars are the remains of some of the severest vampires who ever walked the face of the earth. Who ever walked among men." Wesley held up one of the jars.

A man in a business suit, with rings on every finger, shook his head. "Forgive me, sir, but if these are the 'severest' vampires to walk to the earth then why do they fit into a jelly jar?"

"Why!?" Wesley snapped. "I will tell you why. Because the blasted Slayer from each of these generations was stronger." Wesley sat the jar on the table gingerly. "I've trained two Slayers. I know all about them. Feisty little creatures, really."

"There are only four jars. You need five." Said another man. This one was young, dressed in dark jeans and a leather coat.

"You are Leeth, yes?" Asked Wesley, offering a hand.

"I am." Leeth nodded and shook the other man's hand.

"I do need ashes from five strong vampires. The five will be combined and we 'll use our own blood to make the strongest, most evil being to rule the world." Wesley opened a drawer and pulled out several envelopes. "These are the names and accomplishments of several vampires here in Los Angeles. Don't panic if you see your own name. This country is famous for it's Democracy. We shall all have a fair vote."

"You mean we're votin'?" Asked Gorch. "On who the fifth will be?"

"Indeed." Wesley smirked. "And I don't know where the notion that Southerners are stupid came from."

"Uh," Gorch stared at him, trying to decide if he had been insulted. "Thanks, I reckon."

"What are in these boxes?" Leeth asked, pointing back toward Buffy's hiding place.

"Enough explosives to light up this city." Wesley replied, and moved toward the boxes that Buffy was crouching behind. "Let me show you."

Spike heard Buffy gasp and started to stand. Doyle shook his head, "You'll get her and us killed."

"I can't just sit here and do nothing." Spike growled.

"We have too." Angel shook his head sadly. "I told Giles about this but he wouldn't begin to know where to find them or how to stop it. If we go in there and get killed, no one else can prevent this. No one else even knows."

"I don't care, man." Spike started to stand again. "That's Buffy in there and if you.."

"They're gone." Came Buffy's muffled whisper over their walkie-talkies. "I'm going to give them a few seconds, make sure the coast is clear and plant the rest of the bugs."

"NO!" Spike practically shouted, furious at her, furious at the cowards around him and furious at the fate that made him a vampire and Buffy the Slayer. "We've heard everything we need to know. You worry about getting out and to hell with the bugs." "But.." She started to protest. "If you aren't out here within the next five seconds, I'm coming in." Spike' s tone surprised everyone, especially Angel. He couldn't recall when the last time he had seen Spike so passionate about something. It was unnerving to know he was passionate about HIS Buffy.

"Fine!" Buffy snapped. "But if we miss out on good information…"

"Slayer." Spike warned.

"Whatever," She shook her head inside the dark little room, embarrassed by the fact that she had to hide and angry that Spike was acting like her Watcher Figure. She had resigned herself to it being a wasted night when she realized that she was IN the room with the ashes that the vampires needed. She was tempted to bang her head against the wall at how oblivious she was but instead she moved to the table. Yanking out one of the bugs, she activated it under the desk and smiled. ~Score: Two Slayer, Vampires None!~

Very quickly, she grabbed all four jars and opened the door slowly, listening for any sounds. When she heard none, she made her way back toward the entrance, pausing to crane her ears and reach out her senses into the blackness to make sure she was alone. "Is the coast clear out there?"

Everyone glanced around, making sure that it was indeed clear and Spike whispered, "It's fine. Come on out."

He was relieved when she darted out the door and made her way toward them, staying close to the building. She crouched at the end, about thirty feet away and then ran to where they waited. Buffy dropped the jars on the ground in front of them and smiled, pulling off her ski mask. "Two bugs planted and their 'severest vampires' stolen."

"Two bugs?" Spike growled. She had apparently planted one after he had told her not too.

Doyle was stunned. "These are the ashes?"

"No, Doyle." Buffy said sarcastically. "These are sand art displays that I thought would brighten up my room."

"Buffy, they're ugly." Cordy picked one up and stared at it. "Most sand art comes in something besides brownish beige!"

Angel looked disgusted with his co-workers. "It's the damn ashes, people. Good job, Buffy."

"Thanks." She beamed. She had done it. All was good!

"Good job my ass." Spike sneered, yanking up two of the jars and shoving them at Angel and stuffing the remaining two into his pockets. "Let's get out of here."

"Spike?" She put a hand on his arm, not used to his tone, but he pulled away.

"You and I will have a talk later." He said, glaring at her. Finally, he started back through the tall grass.

Buffy was the last to follow the vampire's lead. The happiness she had about not getting killed and actually doing something productive left her quickly. All wasn't good. The way he had looked at her had made her go cold inside. He looked like he despised her.

Cordy waited at the top a small embankment for her. "He was just worried."

"I know." Buffy stared at Spike's back as he stalked down the road, hands in pockets, kicking several rocks.

"But I still wouldn't want to be in your shoes later."

Buffy stared at the girl in shock. "Was that supposed to be comforting?"

"Yeah." Cordelia nodded, then patted her friend sadly.

"Gee, thanks so much." The Slayer shook her head, realizing that she didn't want to be in her shoes later either. He was madder than she had ever seen him. And it was anger towards her.

"Glad to help." Cordelia trotted forward and moved between Doyle and Angel and began talking about the bonus she expected for almost getting killed again and working so late.

Every step forward made Buffy realize that she was closer and closer to hearing exactly what was on Spike's mind. And that terrified her.

Angel did what he could to convince Buffy and Spike to come in and stay for a while. For starters, he wanted Spike to have a chance to cool off and second, he wanted to make sure Buffy was really okay. Her cheek was scraped and he noticed she walked with a limp. All his offers were adamantly refused by both and presently, he stood watching their tail lights fade, hoping with all his heart that whatever was going on between Spike and Buffy wouldn't hurt them both.

As much as it hurt him.

Buffy fidgeted and glanced across the car seat at Spike. He had his jaw clenched tightly, making his profile look hard and mean. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said, "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

He looked at her then, like she was absolutely insane. "What do I want to talk to you about? You don't know?"

"I'm sorry if I did something to upset you, Spike. " Buffy turned to face him but he looked away. "But that, back there, at the factory. It wasn't a big deal. I mean...it had to be done."

He turned into the hotel's driveway and shut off the engine, waiting for a valet. She started to speak again and he held up a hand. He could not believe that she was trying to act like she hadn't almost gotten herself killed. "I don't want to hear it."

"I said I was sorry." Buffy said in a quiet voice, feeling totally lost and miserable.

"And I still don't want to hear it." He stepped out and handed the keys to a young man, then headed toward the glass doors that led into the lobby.

There was nothing she could do except follow him into the elevator and she wasn't about to make him any more upset by doing anything else. Or maybe he didn't want her there. She decided to go straight into her room when he unlocked the door.

Spike watched her as she trudged into her bedroom and shut the door quietly behind her. Shaking his head, he stalked to his own room and slammed the door. As he moved toward the bed he noticed that the message light was blinking on the phone and lifted the receiver. Joyce had called to talk to Buffy and to say she loved and missed her. Then the woman then added that she loved and missed Spike too and for him to take good care of her baby.

It made him feel a tug somewhere in his chest to hear his name associated with love. Joyce had been like a mother to him the last year, making him feel more human than he had when he actually was a human. He thought he loved Dru, once upon a time, but he was absolutely one hundred percent convinced that what he felt for Buffy and even for Joyce was a million times greater. The thought of anything happening to either of them terrified him. The thought of not being in Buffy's life scared him more than bathing in Holy Water. He loved Joyce, but he was IN love with Buffy.

Scowling, Spike yanked his door open and started toward Buffy's room. He jumped a little when she walked out of the kitchen wearing nothing but a T-shirt and carrying an ice pack. "Your mother called."

Buffy nodded and started back into her room. "Thanks."

"You're hurt?" He pointed at the ice-pack and started to move toward her. If she was hurt, he supposed he could help her now and be angry later. Only because Joyce said to take care of her though, not because he wanted to. ~Who am I kidding?~

"You don't want to hear about it." She glared at him for a few seconds and shut the door. Once she was safely inside she allowed the tears to fall freely. Angry at herself and angry at Spike, she walked onto the balcony and leaned against the railing, placing the ice pack on her outer thigh. The noises of the city below her didn't distract her from her thoughts and she was aware of how much it ached in her soul to have him upset with her. She didn't think he had ever been this mad. Sure, they had argued and yelled at one another but that was the problem. He was never just quiet.

Spike stepped quietly through his own glass doors, which led to the same balcony Buffy was on. He paused when he saw her, wind blowing through her hair, salty tears dripping off her cheeks and a large ice pack on her leg and he knew he was a goner. The only thing worse that seeing her in pain was the knowledge that he caused it.

He moved toward her and when she saw him, she drew a hand across her face, trying not to let him see her cry.

"Buffy, I want to talk to you now."

She didn't know why he thought that she should just let him decide when they talked and when they didn't. "What about what I want?"

"What do you want?"

She sighed, "I want to know what's going on with us."

"Then talk to me."

Saying nothing, she stared at the ground, forcing herself not to sob. She wanted so much to walk into his arms and tell him that she loved him and needed him and wanted him. Instead she stood there, looking and feeling miserable.

"Sit down." Spike motioned at a lounge chair and she complied. When she was settled into it, he moved the ice pack and made a face when he saw the bruise. "That's pretty bad."

"I don't want to talk about my leg." She snatched the ice pack away from him and put it on the edge of the hot tub. "What is wrong with you?"

"Buffy, I was scared tonight. I don't like being scared." He lifted the ice pack and held it against her himself, kneeling in front of her. "You did every single thing I asked you not to do and you didn't care."

"I said I was sorry for that." She cried. "You think I wasn't scared? I was, Spike! But I had to do it."

"We had other options! You didn't have to do that. It was foolish!" He shouted. "You did it because you wanted to!"

"Yes, I did want to!" Buffy's voice was louder than his had been and she didn't really care who heard them.

"I KNEW IT!" Spike yelled, satisfied that she had confessed something and therefore warranted his anger again. "I should have known when you couldn't get your pants to zip you were too big for your britches! Your attitude almost got you KILLED!"

"I DID IT SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO! I wanted to keep you safe and out of harm's way. I would have died in there to keep one hair on your infuriating head from getting hurt!" Buffy stood up, trying to push past him and when she did, he toppled backwards into the hot tub. She moved fast and knelt beside the bubbling water. "Oh, Spike!"

He surfaced and wiped the water off his face, still trying to digest what she had just said, "You did what you did so I wouldn't be put in any danger?" He couldn't take his eyes off her perfect mouth. How had he been so wrong about her motives? "Why?"

She shrugged and offered him her hand, to help him out. He took it and moved to the side of the hot tub, staring up at her. "Why, Buffy?" ~What am I doing? What do I think she'll say?~

This was it. Her chance to tell him and she didn't care what happened afterwards. She wanted him to know the truth. Nothing he said could make her feel worse than she already did. "Because I am hopelessly and completely in love with you is why."

His mouth dropped open. Was he imagining that she said what he had longed to hear her say for months or did she say it? All the words died in his throat and he stared at her, trying to think of what to do.

Buffy only thought she couldn't feel worse. Now she felt miserable. In her mind's eye, the many times she had played out this confession, it always ended with him saying it back and kissing her passionately. Of course, when she imagined how and when she would tell him it was never after she had knocked him into a hot tub in anger. "I'm sorry."

"Don't." Shaking his head, he realized he had hurt her feelings with his silence and got to his knees, still clinging to her hand. "Don't apologize, baby."

Her chin began to quiver and she started to move away. "I…I shouldn't have…"

"Buffy!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and stared at her intently. "I should have told you a long time ago how I felt."

She closed her eyes against the tears, convinced he was about to tell her that he should have made it clear that he wasn't interested in her that way. "No. Please."

"Look at me, pet."

As she opened her eyes, several fresh tears rolled from their hazel depths and he knew that it would be okay to love her. There was no way he could stop himself even if he tried. "I love you. I do, Buffy. I've wanted to tell you for so long and even now…."

"You love me?" Buffy interrupted , needing to hear another affirmation, wanting to hear it a million times.

"I love you more than I know how to say." Spike felt so relieved to be able to say it and feel nothing but her love in return. No guilt, no unease, nothing but her love. "I could never tell you…"

"Don't tell me. Show me." She ran her hand along his smooth, cool cheek, trailing her thumb lazily over his lips. She wanted him, needed him to make things right. "Make love to me, Spike."

Spike caught her hand as it roamed over his lips and kissed her palm. Part of him wanted to just jump up and take her right then, but another part forced him to ask, "Are you sure?"

She nodded and he stood, pulling himself from the tub. His pants felt like they were going to rip him in two, partly because they were leather and he had spent ten minutes sitting in hot water but mostly because his need for her was overwhelming. Buffy stood as well and looked up at him.

Spike put his hands on either side of her face and brushed his lips across hers softly, wanting their first kiss to be so much. He gently massaged her mouth with his own and she sagged against him when their tongues met for the first time.

It was more than she had been prepared for. How could one kiss make her turn to a pile of mush so quickly? If he hadn't been holding her up she had no doubt that she would have sunk to the floor. She was still trying to get her bearings when he broke the kiss, lifted her into his arms and walked into her bedroom.

Spike laid her back on the bed, cursing himself for being nervous. Why was he suddenly terrified? ~Because I want to make love not shag.~

Buffy shivered under his gaze and wondered what he was thinking. He almost looked scared of her. It occurred to her that he probably wasn't completely sure it was alright so she got to her knees and began unbuttoning his shirt. Her eyes never left his until his chest was exposed, and then she began spraying kisses along his neck and collarbone.

He sighed when she moved lower and tugged at his nipple with her teeth, then he groaned and pulled her mouth back to his. She shoved his shirt over his arms and dug her fingers through his short blond hair as the kiss intensified. Forgetting everything, his hands roamed down her back and over her ass, squeezing her against him. It was her turn to sigh and she pulled away from his kiss. "I want you so much."

Spike smiled at her and moved his hands under the bottom of her shirt, lifting it slowly over her head. He tossed it over his shoulder and looked down at her. She wasn't wearing a bra and now he could see that her breasts were just as perfect as he had imagined. "Bloody hell, baby! You're beautiful."

Cold chills dotted her flesh as he ran his fingertips through the hollow between her breasts and ducked his head to her neck. His tight pants be damned, he was going to explore her body with his mouth no matter how uncomfortable he was. Spike pushed her onto her back and quickly covered her body with his, kissing her again. She put her legs around his and urged her hips upward, pressing into his erection and he hissed against her mouth. "Oh, Buffy."

Moving away, he trailed a pattern of wet kisses straight down her stomach, only pausing to hook his fingers into her thin strapped panties and slide them over her hips. As soon as they cleared her feet, he began kissing her ankles, slowly, deliberately working his way back to her dark curls.

By the time he made it to her knees she had started whimpering, arching her back at the slightest touch and begging him to take her. Ignoring her completely, he slowly licked his way up her inner thigh and sucked at the tender spot where he leg met her pubic area. Her hips surged upward and he seized the moment to meet her swollen core with his eager mouth.

Buffy almost screamed but she was already having trouble breathing. As he stroked her with his tongue and…oh god…now his fingers, she felt faint, euphoric and everything else she could think of that felt really good. Then she couldn't think at all as he sucked her clit into his mouth, raking it with his teeth and she exploded against him, finally able to scream his name.

Pleased with himself, and pleased with how vocal she was, he stood up and unfastened his pants. He tried to tug them down and rolled his eyes skyward. This was not happening, he was not stuck in his pants. Another yank told him he definitely was and he swore loudly. "Son of a bitch!"

Buffy sat up and looked at him struggling with his shrunken leather pants and giggled. He glared at her. "What's so funny."

"Isn't it ironic that you said *I* was too big for my britches." Then she laughed out loud at the look on his face and moved to help him.

She kneeled in front of him and together, after several tugs and the definite sound of leather ripping, the pants were tossed into a heap in the corner. He started to pull her to her feet but she shook her head. To his surprise and intense pleasure, she began to stroke him, then pulled him into her warm mouth. The smirk she had given him made it pretty clear that she was about to pay him back for teasing her.

She took him as far into her mouth as she could and slid him slowly back out. He literally had to stop himself from grasping her head and slamming into her, but he decided to endure it and let her have her fun. He was strong, he was able to control it. She slid her tongue along the underside of his shaft and scraped him with her teeth. He was a manly man, he was going to make it. Then she took him deep again and released him, blowing cool air over him as she did. He was okay, it was fine. Spike felt her slide her hands up and squeeze his ass as she continued to wreak havoc with his frontal region. Yes, he was still okay.

No.

He was dying.

Buffy gasped as he yanked her to her feet and smashed his mouth to hers. The kiss was hard, deep and hungry and she felt a new heat start between her legs. She pulled away, weak kneed and shaky and moved to the bed. Spike followed and positioned himself between her open legs. Looking beneath him, at the woman he loved more than anything, and so afraid of losing her to her sacred duty, he whispered, "Hold on to me, baby."

"I'll never let go." She replied.

He eased himself into her slowly, for both their sakes. Buffy cried out against his shoulder and tightened her grip on him. He barely rocked his hips for several minutes, relishing the feel of being inside of her and seeking no release other than the release of his emotions that had been bottled far too long.

Buffy began to wiggle underneath him, moaning his name, and he started thrusting his hips. She met him with the same intensity and he reached between them, stroking her back and forth until she came. Her cries of pleasure and the tightening of her vaginal walls drove him over the brink. Moments after she came, he followed and collapsed on top of her.

They lay that way, spent, for several minutes. Finally, Buffy whispered, "I couldn't live without you."

"You'll never have to." He eased himself onto his elbows and stared down at her, playing with her hair. "I love you."

"I love you so much." Buffy hoped he picked up the devilish twinkle in her eye. "I could never begin to TELL you how much."

Chuckling, Spike replied. "Don't tell me. Show me."

"If you insist."

The phone rang and Spike growled, pulling himself out from under Buffy's arm and leg to get it. "What the hell is it?"

"SPIKE!" Joyce said, using a tone that only she possessed. "What kind a way is that to answer the phone."

"Apologies, Joyce. I just woke up." He laughed. "And I thought you were that bloody wanker Angel."

"Angel? He's there?"

The distaste in the woman's voice made him happy. "Yep. He's in Los Angeles, brooding and being a 'git. Basically having the same life he had in Sunnydale."

"Only without Buffy, thank God!" Joyce sipped her coffee and added. "Is she taking it okay?"

"Not at first. But I'm positive she's over him. Completely."

"Oh? How can you be so sure?"

"Just trust me on this one."

"I called last night. I was worried when I didn't hear back from you." Her tone was motherly again, bordering on reprimanding. "You know how I worry about the two of you. I am the mom, here. I worry."

"We thought it would be too late to return the call last night." Spike's eyes widened as Buffy moaned his name loudly in her sleep.

"Was that Buffy?" Joyce cocked her head to one side as she clearly heard her daughter sleepily calling Spike's named again.

"What…uh…er…no. It was the TV. I was watching TV." He stared in Buffy's direction, willing her not to make any more noise.

"I thought you were asleep."

"What? Right. I..uhm.."

"Spike?"

"Ma'am?"

"It took you two long enough."

Buffy awoke to find a even paler Spike than imaginable leaning awkwardly against the headboard. One of his hands rested on the phone, which sat on the night stand and the other was lying limply in his lap. Her first thought was that he was ill. Then she realized that he had probably gotten a phone call. "Spike?"

"Mmm?" He swallowed but didn't move otherwise.

"What's the matter with you? Was someone on the phone?" She sat up and pulled the cover around her, bracing herself for bad news from back home.

"Yeah." Spike ran his hand through his hair and looked at her, she looked terrified. "Oh, hell. I'm sorry, baby. It's nothing bad. Well, unless you're me."

"What?" She took the hand in his lap and clung to it.

"Your mother."

"WHAT!?" Buffy cried.

"She knows." He gulped again and stared at the phone. "She knows about us, Buffy!"

"How? That's impossible." Buffy's gulp followed his. "You told her?"

"Bloody hell, do I look like an idiot?" He shook his head back and forth. "You told her!"

Buffy's mouth fell open. "I told her? I did not."

"She was on the phone and you started moaning and groaning my name right here beside me. I almost swallowed my own damn tongue!"

"Oh god. What did she say?" Sure, her mother liked Spike but how would she, how would any of the gang, react to this?

He scratched his head and stared at the ceiling. "She said 'it took you two long enough'."

"Come again."

"It took you two long enough." Spike repeated the words and squeezed her hand. "That either means she's happy for us…or she's happy that I didn't stay the hell away from her daughter and she can use her ax again."

"Well, what did she say after that?" Buffy moved close to him and put her arms around him, unconsciously nuzzling her face into his neck, hating his worry.

"I couldn't tell you. I was gripped by terror and couldn't hear." Spike kissed the side of her head and massaged up and down her back, seeking comfort in her warmth. "Maybe you should call her."

"No way!" She'd deal with it when she got home. Buffy slowly slid her leg over him until she was straddling him and sat up to face him. His arms around her made her want him like nothing else in the world. She smirked down at him, "Well…if she's gonna try to kill you...we should probably make the most of every single moment until we get home."

He grinned at her then and pulled the cover away from her breasts, stroking over her rosy nipples until they hardened completely. "You're not worried about my well being?"

"You're a big boy." She ground her hips against him in a slow circle and winked. "And growing bigger by the second."

"Teasing a vampire, especially one who already feels drawn and quartered, can be very bad." He moved all the cover out from between them and ran his fingers through her dark lower curls before trying to position himself at her opening. She continued to gyrate against him but wouldn't let him enter her. "Slayer…"

Grinning, she leaned forward and tugged at one of his nipples, keeping herself at an angle that wouldn't allow him access. He growled as she licked her way up to his mouth and kissed him deeply. "I bet right now, you're not too worried about my mother."

"Baby, you're playing with fire."

"So burn me." A second later she yelped out as he gripped her hips and slammed her onto his erection. Spike had to close his eyes for a moment because being inside of her, feeling how tight and inviting she was made him dizzy. He opened them when she moaned his name and began sliding him in and out of her. She probably didn't realize how beautiful she was, how perfect she fit him or how much he really did love her.

A glance at the window told him the sun wasn't down.

He had a while to show her.

To the casual observer, he wasn't an imposing figure, wearing torn jeans and a Queen T-shirt, but to the minions who had seen what he was capable of earlier that day, he was the most terrifying thing they had seen. His savagery was unthinkable and not one of the assembled men dared move for fear that his wraith would fall upon them. Dust of their fallen brethren tainted the already volatile situation and the only sound in the room was the shuffle of their master's feet.

Wesley moved up and down the line of what few remaining vampires he had left in his wake. He was absolutely livid. They had stripped the room, taken every single box and crate from it and still, the ashes were missing. He stopped walking and stared back and forth, pausing at each face. "I should think that by now one of you, at least, shall be wise enough to provide the answers."

He was met with silence and he smiled. "Come, come now. The torture will continue until morale improves."

"May…maybe someone misplaced it." One of the minions said. "People make mistakes."

"We are not a people. To err is human." Wesley stalked to stand before the man. "Do you have information on the 'misplaced' ashes of your forefathers?"

"No, sir." The vampire was a young one, wearing nothing but his boxers since he had been awakened so roughly. "I don't know anything."

"Then your lack of knowledge shall not be missed." Wesley's hand flew up, faster than the man could have anticipated and a stake was embedded in his chest. As he plumed, Wesley looked at the man beside him. "Was I too hasty?"

"No sir." The stunned vampire shook his head.

"Then you won't hold this against me?" With the same move, Wesley's stake was jammed into that man's chest as well. An exaggerated sigh followed, and Wes turned, absently drying fake tears. "It pains me so. We are supposed to be a superior being and I've somehow managed to get a herd of cattle. But one of you…one of you thought you were smart. I intend to find out who that was."

His gaze roamed and landed on Lyle Gorch. "You. Redneck. Come here."

An audible gulp came from the vampire that had been trying his best to hide behind his cowboy hat. He peeked out from under the brim and his eyes widened. "Me?"

"Do you see any other rednecks?" Wesley looked bored.

"No sir."

"Even in the darkest situation we always have something to be thankful for." Wesley beckoned and Lyle walked slowly to stand before him. "Do you have anything to say?"

"I can't say that I do. I'd just as soon keep my mouth shut and stay out of it because I don't know nothing." He had taken his hat off as a show of respect and now worried it in his palms, wringing it.

"I like you, Mr. Gorch." Wesley patted the man. "You prove that people with a room temperature IQ can lead productive lives. However, if you insist on keeping your mouth shut, I'm afraid I must insist on making it painful. It won't kill you though."

"Please…please…I don't know nothing."

Wesley shook his head and leaned back against his desk. The only remaining item in the room. "On your knees and open your mouth."

Whimpering, Lyle complied. Wesley held up a container for everyone to see. Inside was a stack of Eucharistic wafers and he gingerly turned the lid and pulled one out with a pair of tweezers. "Open up."

Lyle clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. "Uh uh."

"It's this or a glass of Holy Water. If you don't swallow this it won't kill you. Holy Water will." Wesley held it to the vampire's mouth, patting his head affectionately. "I'm offering you a chance to live."

Still whimpering, Gorch opened his mouth and immediately began to screech and moan when Wesley slid the wafer onto his tongue. Wesley bared his fangs and shouted, in his best Dracula voice, "The children of the night, what beautiful music they make! Listen to him, people. Listen closely for oh…an hour. Then we'll try to talk again."

Wesley took a seat at the desk and began shuffling through papers. The ashes had been right here. Right in this very spot. As he lifted a large pile of bills, a thin bracelet fell from with a small clank to the floor. The dead watcher picked it up and smiled when he saw the inscription. "Mr. Gorch, do be quiet."

Gorch continued to moan so Wesley stood up, slapped him on the back of the head and the man spit out the wafer. "The pain! You ought not have done that if you didn't want me to whoop and holler."

"Shut up!" Wesley held the delicate piece of gold from his fingertips. "Gentleman, we have a Slayer."

"Oh fuck!" Doyle sat beside Angel in the office. They had been up all night, listening to the activities inside the warehouse thanks to the receiver that Buffy had left them. The bug she had planted in the warehouse provided quite a disturbing insight into Wesley's psyche. "Oh, fuck- fuck-fuck."

"Please!" Cordelia moaned, flopping onto the leather sofa and trying to pick a nail polish color from a basket of polishes. "I am a woman you know. All this swearing is rude! Damn it. I should be getting manicures and pedicures. Not giving my own."

"He knows she was there." Angel shook his head, ignoring Cordelia and not believing that Buffy had been careless enough to leave something behind. "I wonder what he found."

"I don't know. I don't care." Doyle stood, pacing restlessly through the dimly lit room. "We have to do something. Even if he can't perform this ritual, he still has far too much knowledge because of who he was."

"Buffy will…"

"Buffy will what, Angel?" The man stopped pacing and glared at the vampire. "Have another panic attack? Risk our lives? Hers? No offense man, I have no doubt that she used to be a good Slayer…but now…"

"She stopped this ritual, didn't she?" Angel's need to defend her surprised both of them.

"You said what she did was stupid!" Doyle said.

"I said it was risky." Angel corrected.

Cordy, unfazed by what she had heard on the receiver, put the lid back on her nail polish and began fanning her toenails. "I'm the one who said it was stupid."

"She's too.." The bell that indicated that someone had opened the door into the office sounded. Doyle stopped mid-sentence and looked at Cordelia.

"Toes!" She cried.

"No pay." Doyle replied. "Go get it. Earn your keep."

"I hate my life." Cordelia grumbled the entire way into the other room.

Angel looked back at Doyle. "Buffy has never let me down once."

"And I don't want the first time to be at our expense."

Cordelia cleared her throat as she stepped back into their living room from the office area. "We have company. And Doyle, you probably shouldn't insult Buffy around them."

Rupert Giles and Joyce Summers stepped around her and looked at the two men. "Hello, Angel." Giles said.

Angel stood slowly, nervously and offered his hand to Joyce in greeting but she only glared. Giles took it limply and nodded at Doyle as Angel made the introductions. An uncomfortable silence followed and finally, Angel said, "Cordelia, why don't you make some coffee."

Cordelia's mouth gaped open, her eyes widened, her hands went to her hips, but Doyle grabbed her arm and dragged her into the kitchen before she could refuse, leaving Angel alone with his past.

Giles cleared his throat and looked around the large building/apartment. A glance at the outside had left him cold but here, inside, past the offices, the atmosphere was homey. There were bookcases lining three of the four walls and several nice touches here and there. Leather furnishings, framed oil paintings and an entertainment center sat off to one side. "Your home is quite nice, Angel."

"Thank you." Angel looked around, trying to see where the tattered, meager furnishings could be called nice. "It's not the mansion but it serves it's purpose. Sit down."

They all sat, staring anywhere but at one another. Joyce sighed and said, "Giles decided to come because it's Wesley who is involved. He was afraid that it would be hard for Buffy to do what had to be done. And I came because I wanted to."

"She never liked Wesley." Angel offered. "And she didn't seem too upset about it when we told her that he was the one involved." "That's probably because she was too devastated over the fact that she was tricked into coming here." Joyce snapped.

Giles looked at her and took her hand, willing her to control her anger. After listening to her rant nonstop for the two hour road trip he was very convinced that she could make good on everything she said she would like to do to Angel. "I'm sure, Joyce, if they had known that Buffy's situation was…erm…strained…at best, they wouldn't have used pretense to summon her here."

"Strained?" Angel looked at Giles intently, trying to read his expressions.

"As I told you on the phone, this past year has been quite trying for Buffy. College life is a huge adjustment period for anyone and it's especially hard on a young girl. Buffy's always been unique and strong and able to shuffle the burden of her responsibilities…but…" Giles paused, trying to collect his thoughts.

Joyce spoke for him, not wanting Angel to know that his departure almost killed her. "But it was hard. She had a lot of guilt about what she did to Faith and then she had to deal with the deaths of people, friends, who died on Graduation Day. She has a big heart, she felt like it was all her fault."

"And to add to the stress of schooling, one of her professors that she admired turned out to be evil and she was forced to kill him." Giles shook his head, recalling how devastated she had been and how he and Spike had taken turns holding onto her for hours. "She was just starting to really get it all together when Cordelia called her here."

"I'm sorry." Angel meant it. "We just didn't know another way."

"You should have called me. I may no longer be her watcher but I am her friend." Giles realized he was still holding Joyce's hand and reddened, letting it go.

"Thank God Spike was here with her." Joyce reddened too, remembering her conversation with Spike. Then she smiled, more for herself than anyone else, happy for Buffy.

"Indeed." Giles agreed.

"This is the part where I have to ask if you're all crazy." Angel said it casually. "I mean…this is Spike."

"We know who he is." Giles looked at the pale vampire sitting across from him. "And if it weren't for him, Buffy would be dead. He's been her saving grace"

Cordy, still complaining and walking funny to keep her toes from getting messed up, sat a tray of coffee on the table and looked at Angel. "Is there anything else you desire, oh cheap master?"

"Call Buffy. Tell her to get here as soon as she can." Angel wasn't itching to spend any more time with them than he had to. How had so much changed in a year?

One night, one night of passion had changed everything. Sure, so many things had changed for the better. Like waking up in each other's arms and making love before either said a word. And the fact that hearing her say she loved him meant more than anything in the world. But none of that was going to sway him. "I am not buying this, Buffy."

"Your pants got ripped up. Besides there are colors besides black and red." She held up the dark blue jeans and batted her eyelashes at him. They were in a small store just a few blocks away from Angel's detective agency. It had taken them forever to find the motivation to get out of the bed but they finally did.

"I have these pants." He pointed to the wrinkled pants he was wearing that had been stuffed into his bag. He knew they looked haggard but they were BLACK. "And I like black and red."

"Those pants are horrible. I think I'd like you in these and this blue shirt." Buffy held up a dark blue shirt and smiled. "It matches your eyes."

He took the shirt an examined it. It was actually a nice color. He had forgotten what his eyes looked like. "Against my better judgment, I'll buy this shirt ONLY if I can get black pants."

"Spike?" Buffy leaned toward him and shook her head. "If you get black pants, you'll be staying in them."

"That is such a wrong way to handle this." He snatched the blue jeans and shoved them under his arm while he followed Buffy through the store. "Why do you suddenly have to change me? What is it with women? You think that once you get a man into the sack you get to call the shots and WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

"It's a green shirt." She said, holding it up so she could look at it, then she turned and held it up to his chest, eyeing him closely. "It looks nice too."

"Get it away from me." Spike pushed her arm away. "I am not wearing green. I am not wearing purple, yellow or orange and I am not wearing BLUE pants."

"You are cranky!" Buffy put the green shirt back on the table and crossed her arms.

"I don't like the thought of looking like a freak."

"Really?" She opened her arms, indicating her own clothes: a multicolored shirt that bared her tan stomach and dark purple pants that hung low on her hips. "And I look like a freak?"

"You look beautiful, baby." Spike realized how close he was to falling off the line he was toeing. "Every color is great for you."

"And we have almost the same exact coloring so that means," She handed him the green shirt and smiled. "Every color is great for you."

"Great. Just call me Rainbow Brite." Spike snatched it and added it to the bundle under his arm.

Buffy checked her watch. "You need to try this stuff on. It's late."

Swearing that she couldn't force him to wear it even if he bought it, he let her shove him into the dressing room. She leaned against the wall, facing the doorway, waiting for him to try the first one on. "Does it fit?"

"Would you believe me if I said no?" Came his reply.

She was about to answer when he opened the door but she couldn't speak at all. Dressed in the dark blue jeans and the blue shirt, he looked amazing. The shirt was exactly the color of his eyes, making them stand out so much more than usual. And the jeans were tight enough to show how toned he was but loose enough to make you want to touch and feel what was under there. Finally she muttered, "Oh…wow..Spike."

"You hate it. Say you hate it." He stared down at his legs. "It's so...blue"

Before he could finish she was in the room with him, pressing him against the wall and kissing him hungrily. When they emerged a while later they were both disheveled and mussed. Buffy exited first and Spike quickly followed, only pausing to grab two more pairs of blue pants and two blue shirts and toss them on the checkout counter.

"Angel, a hotel like that KNOWS when someone is and isn't there. I've left three thousand messages." Cordelia had strapped on her heels and chosen a pair of dark gray slacks and a red blouse after an hour's worth of digging through her closet. Presently she stood securing her hair with oriental chopsticks. "YOU call."

"She should have checked in by now." Giles said, glancing at his watch. He and Joyce still sat side by side on the sofa in Angel's living room but much of the awkwardness had been forgotten by now. The talk had shifted away from Buffy and onto Wesley as they listened to the receiver. "Surely she won't try to go in alone."

"Spike would never allow that." Joyce shook her head. She had no doubt what was keeping them but wasn't about to say. "They may have just gotten sidetracked.

"Well, we can't sit here all night." Doyle stood as the receiver crackled and Wesley told his men to assemble at the back of the factory to plan a trap for the Slayer. "We need to act now."

The bell in the main room dinged, indicating that the door had been opened and everyone stood. Buffy walked in first and immediately stopped when she saw her mother. "Mom, is something wrong?"

Spike followed behind her, staring at the bill for his new clothes and when he heard Buffy address her mother, he dropped the paper and looked to see if she had an ax. "Oh damn." He whispered.

"Hi, you two." Joyce smiled brightly and walked to meet them, clutching them both in a tight hug. "Mr. Giles was coming and I thought I'd tag along."

When she let them go, Buffy reached up and felt her mother's forehead. "Are you ill?"

"Just very happy." Joyce beamed at her daughter, then grabbed Spike's hand. "For both of you."

"What is this all about?" Giles asked, coming to stand beside the three people who were acting strange. "Why are you happy?"

"Uh.." Buffy's eyes widened. "She's very happy that we're both…"

"Alive." Spike answered quickly. "Well, Buffy's alive and I'm…er…"

"Undead." Buffy glanced around the room at the curious faces. "Hey, how about vampire slaying? We need to…kill."

Angel regarded the way Joyce patted Spike's cheek affectionately and inwardly screamed. It didn't take a scientist to put two and two together. He could see it. He could smell it. They had been intimate. Unable to watch them try to cover it up anymore, he said, "Buffy, Wesley knows you were there."

"What?" She glanced around her mother and shook her head. "That's like…impossible. I disabled the camera and no one saw me."

"Apparently you left something behind." Cordy shrugged. For once, since Buffy had gotten to LA she felt like she looked just as good as the Slayer.

Buffy looked at the floor and thought for several seconds, then yanked her sleeve up. "NO! MY bracelet!" she cried. Spike moved beside her and took her hand. "It's fine, baby. I'll get you another one."

She shook her head and looked up at him, tears threatening to fall. "But this one can't be replaced. Ever. You gave it to me for Christmas and..."

"Buffy," Spike pulled her into a tight hug. "I have to get you a new one anyway."

She swallowed back the lump and asked, "Why?"

"Well, I want to have something more than 'To Buffy From Spike' inscribed on it now." He kissed the top of her head, oblivious to anyone else in the room.

Giles had raised an eyebrow, Angel was grinding his teeth, and Joyce was beaming. Cordelia yawned and said, "Look. I have to shop tomorrow on a budget so can we go and get this done? I need sleep tonight. I have to be prepared to accept second best and that takes rest."

Taking a deep breath, Buffy glanced around the room. "What do we know?"

"What do we know?" Asked Leeth, the vampire that Angel and Spike both knew. He stood, wearing a long dark coat and leather pants, addressing Wesley.

Lyle Gorch snorted. "I'll tell you what we know. That little Slayer is one mean critter. Damn near killed me a million times."

"Yes, well…" Wesley was leaning against the side of the factory, smoking a cigarette. All the traps had been laid and all they had to do now was wait. "if you fought her and lived it proves that she has weaknesses. A toddler could kill you."

Leeth snorted and several other vampires who lingered around them tittered as well. Lyle narrowed his eyes and said, "Y'all just wait, You're gonna see it with your own two eyes. She's good."

"We're better." Wesley flicked his cigarette butt at Lyle, causing the man to squeal. "She isn't going to know what hit her."

"I sure do wish you hadn't killed so many of the minions." Leeth said, eyeing what was left of the army. "I doubt you've even got twenty men now."

"That simply means that we'll work harder. We all know that it's every man for himself." Wesley pumped up his chest and stared down his nose at the demons. "Just so long as no one forgets that they'll be answering to me if they fuck up."

"Shouldn't we get ready?" Asked a black vampire.

"We should." Wesley nodded. "I do hope she's on her way. Everyone move into position. Oh, if any of you kill her you won't live long enough to enjoy it. She's mine."

Everyone was armed to the max, crucifixes dangled off of Joyce's neck and Cordelia was sporting a super soaker full of Holy Water. Doyle and Giles both had cross bows and Angel and Spike, both packing stakes, were also wearing brass knuckles. Their vampiric strength was enough to crush a mortal man, but when a vampire fought another vampire, any upper hand helped. Buffy was carrying her Slayer bag and trying not to show how nervous she was. Spike pulled her away from the group as they huddled in the tall grass. "I want to talk to you."

"Okay." She was busying herself with fitting a stake into her waistband.

He tilted her face to look at him. "I don't want any heroics in there, Buffy. Do not, under any circumstances, take any unnecessary risks. We all know what has to be done and we're a team. Don't…"

"I won't." Buffy smiled and brushed her lips over his. "I have a lot to live for and we haven't used the hot tub for sex yet."

Spike laughed out loud, almost comforted by her brave face. "I love you."

"I love you more." She kissed him again and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Be careful."

Giles cleared his throat behind them and Buffy broke out of the hug, blushing as she turned. The Englishman nodded toward the factory and said, "They've turned off all the lights. I think they know we're here."

"Let's not disappoint them then." Standing, Buffy led the way. Thanks to the supplies Xander provided they all had bullet proof vests on and each was stocked with an assortment of gear. "Remember the plan. Teamwork. Stay together."

A look passed from Buffy to her mother and her mother nodded with encouragement. Joyce was fine with this. She had made sure she was an integral part of the slaying business after Buffy graduated and moved onto the college campus. The only time she got to see her kid anymore was when she patrolled with her. She had learned a thing or two and held her own.

"Everyone be careful." Angel said and they ducked into the open dock doors of the factory.

Buffy slid her night vision goggles on and surveyed the area. Angel and Spike could see in the dark and would notify her of impending doom but she felt better this way.

"I can't see a thing." Cordy whined.

"Put on your glasses then." Doyle whispered.

"WHAT!" She moaned. "They totally clash with these pants."

"Then take your pants off, at least then you can see." Doyle was nervously glancing over his shoulder at Angel, wanting to make sure that the only vampire behind him was the one watching his back.

"Only you could be a pervert at a time like this." Cordy thumped him on the back of the head. "I can't believe I didn't stay back at the agency!"

"Why didn't you?" Angel interjected. "You know what we expect."

Cordelia spun on her heel and stared at Angel. "The biggest thrill of my pathetic life is choosing toenail polish at the bargain table. This rates up there with real excitement."

"Do be quiet." Giles whispered. He was scanning the room for himself through his own goggles and didn't like how calm it was at all.

"Everybody step back." Buffy said softly. She kneeled down in front of a thin thread that ran across the room and snipped it with a small knife. There was a loud crash and a net dropped directly in front of Buffy. She stood up and shook her head. "I have a feeling that this whole place is going to be booby trapped. Don't step anywhere that I don't step first."

Slowly everyone followed Buffy further into the factory, Angel pulling up the rear. They made their way past the row of offices and were about to head down a corridor when Cordy yelped out and fell. Immediately, she was tugged upside down by her leg; which was hung in a rope. She flailed wildly, punching Giles and Angel until finally Spike caught her. "Hold still!"

"Get me down." She cried.

"I will! Now hold still!" Spike yanked a knife from his vest and began sawing the rope.

Buffy felt the hairs on the back of her neck start twitching. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the faintest glint of something and slowly turned toward it. Lurking in the corner was a vampire holding a rifle and he was trying to take aim on someone. Casually, acting as though she didn't see it, Buffy dug her stake out of her waistband and flung it sideways, impaling the vampire. There was a loud screech and the gun clanked to the floor.

Spike paused and glanced at Buffy who shrugged and said, "Would it be cliché at this point to say another one bit the dust?"

He chuckled and resumed trying to free Cordelia. Giles moved closer to Buffy and pointed back the way they had come. "Buffy, there are three vampires back there. I can't tell if they're armed though."

"Stay here. Stay together." She moved slowly, hugging the wall as she backtracked.

Angel saw her and followed. Buffy paused and he leaned over to whisper, "See anything?"

"SHIT!" She jumped and spun on him, drawing back her stake which he caught just moments before she rammed it through his heart. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you." He replied, glancing around the darkness. For a moment, he hated himself for not letting her stake him. He couldn't handle knowing that Spike's mouth had touched hers. That Spike had owned her, possessed her in a way that he never would ripped his soul to shreds. "I don't see anything."

"Me either. Giles was convinced he did though." Buffy shrugged and started back toward the others. Angel caught her arm. "Is this what I left you for? So you could be with another vampire?"

She tugged at her arm but he held firm. "You left me for you, Angel. So you could have a clear conscience. I moved on…just like you wanted."

"I left you so you could have a normal life!" He practically shouted at her. "Don't you understand that he can't give you anything I couldn't?"

"Ha!" Buffy laughed cruelly. "But he does. He really does."

Before Angel could reply, the three vampires Giles had seen attacked them at full force, charging into them and sending them both flying. Buffy slammed against the wall with her sore leg and yelled out. Angel landed on top of a table, crushing it under his weight. As one, they jumped to their feet and stood back to back, just like they had done when they patrolled together so long ago.

"Ready?" Asked Angel.

"Aim. Fire." Buffy replied, launching herself at one of the vampires. He never knew what hit him. The stake she had sheathed up her shirtsleeve worked its way into his chest and he scattered.

Spinning, she saw Angel doing a pretty good job on the two vampires. As he kicked one backwards, causing it to stumble, Buffy threw her stake at it. She swore out loud when he didn't plume and kicked the stake, angling it so it would nail him in the heart. When he was down, she turned to see Angel brushing dust from his hair.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Do you care?" He shot back, still stinging from her earlier comment.

"Angel..really…this…" She was cut short by her mother's scream and bolted back through the darkness.

Buffy was vaguely aware of Angel's presence behind her but all she could think about were the others. The space seemed longer, narrower than it had before. It felt like years until she made it back to where they were. She reached the empty rope that was dangling from the ceiling and shook her head. "Where are they?"

"There's blood." Angel kneeled on the ground and looked at the blood spatterings. Someone had been injured. "Is…is it…"

"It's human. It's not Spike's." He rolled out his childe's name like it was poison on his tongue. "I can follow the scent. Come on."

Together they made their way to the back of the factory and paused outside a doorway. Sobs could be heard on the other side and Buffy glanced at Angel. "What should we do?"

A deep southern voice came from behind them. "Let me help you, lil' darlin'."

"Lyle Gorch." Buffy snarled, squaring off with her old foe. "I'd say it was a pleasure but…it's not."

The vampire grinned and licked his lips. "You just get purtier every time I see you."

"And you're still ugly." She replied. "Have you ever heard of Noxema?"

The vampire smiled when Angel moved toward him and held up a black box in his hand. "This here is a detonator. If y'all make a move on me then this place explodes. Now, open up that door right yonder and play nice."

"Do it, Angel." Buffy put her hand on his arm. "He's not lying. They had a ton of explosives."

Angel moved behind her and opened the door. Gorch grinned. "Angel goes first."

Buffy swallowed back her fear as Angel stepped through the doorway and was immediately grabbed by two large vampires. Trying not to visibly shake, she stepped in next and gasped. Cordelia and her mother were both strapped to a wall with gags in their mouth and Doyle was being tied to a chair. She stared at Wesley and said, "You want me, Wes. Let them go."

"Or not." He replied, eagerly anticipating what would happen now that the long awaited face-off had arrived. "After I'm finished with you, I intend to dine on your mother and let this man watch me turn Cordelia. Then I shall turn him too, I think."

"And what about me?" Angel growled, his face changing.

"Well, you get to watch and do nothing." Wesley nodded at a cage in the corner and the men holding Angel shoved him into it. "I think that's the worst I can do to you. With your nice little soul you will relive this moment again and again and wonder how you could have saved them all."

Buffy glanced around the room, panic coursing through her. Spike was no where to be seen. Neither was Giles. By her count, there were only six vampires in the room. Gorch was the biggest threat since he had a detonator but there was no way she could take him out without risking that he'd squeeze the trigger before he died. She realized that all their lives relied on her keeping a clear head.

"Bring her to me." Wesley said to one of the vampires beside him.

Buffy cocked her head to one side. "Is this the part where I act girlish and let you capture me?"

"Every time you resist then your mother gets a broken bone." Wesley raised a hand and the vampire named Leeth moved menacingly toward Joyce, who began to whimper and tug at the ropes.

"Oh, in that case, I'll come to you on my own free will." Buffy walked slowly up the ramp that led to the loading dock where Wesley stood. "Is this how you want it though, Wes? Me doing everything you say? You're holding something over my head but wouldn't you rather fight me and defeat me than do it this way?"

"It doesn't really matter, Buffy." Wesley replied. "Either way, you die and I rejoice."

"So it doesn't bother you to look like a wimp in front of all this people? Admit it, you couldn't take me out on my worse day and you don't want anyone to know that." She laughed at him, really laughed. "Poor Wesley. Always going to be second best. You were a second rate watcher, a second rate fighter and now you're a second rate vampire using a little bit of book smarts to appear tough."

Wesley's fist slammed into the side of her head and she smiled at him. "I'm challenging you, Wes. Right here. There's nothing but you and me. Unless you're scared. Do these vampires want to work for a coward?"

"Drop your weapons and we shall spar to the death." Wesley was furious. How dare this insufferable brat mock him in front of his people. "You little twit, you always thought that you were so smart and witty."

As Buffy took her vest off and laid her weapons down she grinned widely. "I am smart and witty."

They circled each other like boxers looking for a weakness. Wesley still had the face of a mortal, holding on to the demon until he had to unleash it. She struck first, knocking his legs out from under him and then she giggled at him. "You're getting awfully dusty down there, Wesley. I suppose it won't matter in a few minutes…"

He flipped back to his feet and let his face change, showing her his fangs. "When I slip my teeth into your scrawny little neck you will feel my power."

"If those little sawed off fangs are all the power you have, I'm not worried. What'd you do? Chip them both?"

He howled in rage and brought a kick to her midsection that she deflected. Clutching his leg, she flung him backwards off the loading dock and jumped down on top of him. Slayer and vampire rolled along the concrete floor, slamming into various objects but never breaking their hold on one another. Blood poured from both their mouths and Buffy's knuckles had cracked open, but she still attacked him with a savagery that surprised everyone.

Finally, Buffy used both her feet to propel him over her head and he landed hard against the cage Angel was in. Angel reached through and held him firmly in place. As they struggled, Buffy wrenched a stake from her pants leg and shoved it into one of the vampire's nearest her, then drew back at Wesley.

He saw her coming and screamed, "Spike!"

Buffy lowered the stake a few inches and narrowed her eyes. "What about him?"

"If you kill me now you'll never know how to save him."

Giles was hidden in the air conditioning unit, a decrepit and rusty affair that probably had not been used in the better part of twenty years. When the vampires attacked, he had tried desperately to pull Joyce along with him, but he was knocked unconscious and didn't remember anything except Spike pulling him along and shutting him away in his current hiding place.

He was still quite disoriented and could feel fresh blood dropping from the gash on his forehead but he was hell bent on finding out where the others had been taken. The venting of the air conditioner allowed him to hear voices somewhere further inside, but the way they echoed and bounced off the metal made it impossible to pinpoint where they were originating. Slowly, and with great care, he crawled through the narrow tunnels.

"Spike?" Buffy narrowed her eyes and looked at Wesley. "Where is he?"

"If I'm not freed immediately you will never know." The vampire stared at her, trying his best to look feral. "I'll take it to my grave and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what you could have done to save him."

The Slayer's bravado began to break. There was no way Spike would have allowed her mother to be captured so Wesley's men must have done something to him. "Let him go, Angel."

"Buffy, no! Kill him." Angel gripped the man tighter, forcing him to cry out as the bars of the cage bit into his back. "Do it, Buffy."

Wesley squirmed in pain and shook his head. "Do it and he dies with me."

Quietly, she walked to stand before her old Watcher, physically yanking him out of Angel's grip. "So where is he?" She asked, raising her stake and pointing it at his chest. "And don't fuck with me!"

"Such foul language!" Wesley took a few casual steps away and back, whimpering as Buffy matched each one. "Don't test me, girl."

"You're not grasping this. Either you tell me what I want to know or you die!" Buffy slashed Wesley's cheek with the stake and he howled. "Still doing the woman thing, huh?"

"You bitch!" His fist shot out but Buffy caught it and bent his arm backwards.

There was a loud snapping as his bone came through his skin and he continued to scream. Buffy drew back her foot to kick him when Lyle Gorch and two others attacked her. She hit hard against a metal filing cabinet, causing the handles to embed into her side. With a stunned shriek she collapsed into a heap, trying to still the pain.

Wesley leaned low and smeared her blood all over his hand before he moved away.

Buffy's momentary pause was all it took for one of the vampire's to slam his boot into her face. Buffy saw stars, tasted her own blood and prepared herself to die. A commotion out of the corner of her eye caused her to snap out of it.

Wesley was doing something that involved a bright white light, a beautiful jeweled trunk and a foreign language. Dimly, she became aware of Angel screaming at her to stop him before it was too late. She grabbed the vampire 's foot that was attacking her and shoved him back and away from her. Struggling, she got to her feet and staggered up the platform toward Wesley.

Giles fell from the air conditioning unit and landed on top of a vampire. He screamed, the vampire screamed and they both drew back a fist.

"SPIKE!" Giles breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that he was unharmed. "Where are they?"

"I don't know." Spike shook his head angrily. "The bleedin' bastards caught me after I pulled you to safety and locked me into this room. I've tried to kick in the door but it's steel or something. And I'm dead if the sun rises. SKYLGHTS! Can't anyone just stake a vampire anymore?"

"Damn it." Giles swore when he saw the skylights and dug through his pockets until he found a tissue to mop the blood off of his face. "We have to find them. I could hear their voices from inside the air conditioning unit."

"Bloody hell, why didn't I think of that?"

"If you hadn't thought to put me there then neither of us would know." Giles patted the vampire on the shoulder. "Boost me then and we'll have another go."

Spike nodded and hefted Giles back into the unit, then accepted the man's hand and pulled himself in. It was cramped and dingy but Spike cocked his head to one side and heard the unmistakable sound of Buffy screaming. "Buffy's in trouble! Straight ahead."

On their hands and knees, the two men clawed through the unit as fast as they could as Buffy's screaming became louder and louder.

"NONONONONONO!!" Buffy had her hands over her ears as the noise became too much to bear. It was all around her, the sounds of ghosts, demons and everything else Wesley was releasing from an ornate trunk. They squealed and moaned and raked their nails…or…talons as it were…all over her body.

Angel watched in abject horror, knowing full well that since Buffy was giving into the fear she could be seized and pulled into the vortex that Wesley had conjured. It preyed on the weak. Wesley had succeeded in opening a spirit box, and in using Buffy's blood to do it, marked her as their target. They would eventually pull her with them back to the otherworld if she didn't snap out of it.

The memory he had of her breathing into a paper bag in his office left him convinced that she was about to die. And he was about to watch it and not be able to do anything. He stared around the room, taking in the expressions on Cordy and Joyce's faces.

Then his gaze locked with Leeth's and the vampire nodded at him and slowly kicked the key to the cage at him. Angel nodded back and tried to grab them but Lyle Gorch intercepted and pointed at Leeth, while he handed the detonator off to a scrawny vampire with acne. "You're sure 'nuff in a heap of trouble!"

Angel slammed his fist against the cage repeatedly when Leeth and Gorch began to fight. Then he turned back toward Buffy and began to scream her name, trying to tell her to get to Wesley and stop his chanting.

She heard him, but she couldn't move as she she saw the Master pull himself from the box and start in her direction.

Spike and Giles kicked through the unit and landed in a heap, right in the middle of Gorch and Leeth's bloodbath. Neither of the dueling vampires noticed and Giles rushed to free Joyce, Cordelia and Doyle. "Spike!" Angel yelled. "Get the keys and let me out!"

Ignoring him, Spike rushed to where Buffy was trying to scoot away from an apparition that he couldn't make out. Before he got to her, she was lifted into the air and tossed across the room. He cringed when he heard her smack against the wall and ran toward her. "Buffy!"

The Master leered in her face and whispered, "It's time."

"No!" Buffy kicked but her foot went straight through him. "Please, no!"

Laughing, he floated over her and raised his arms, pulling Buffy into the air again. There was a loud sucking and the demons began to moan, raging against being pulled back into the box. Buffy latched onto a pole with her all her strength as icy cold hands grabbed her legs and arms and tried to pull her with them.

Spike reached her just as she let go and grabbed her hands. "Hang on, Buffy! Hold on to me!"

Giles turned as soon as everyone was freed and gasped. He knew this ritual well. Wesley had called upon Buffy's greatest foes and the dark forces had created them, releasing them from a box of spirits. To anyone but Buffy, it looked like faceless ghosts. But to Buffy it was her greatest nightmare. "We must silence Wesley." He cried.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "Well do it! And I thought that ghosts only got trapped in boxes on television. Ghostbusters, duh!"

"Does anyone have a stake?" Giles shouted.

Joyce felt around he pockets and looked back out at Buffy, who was floating horizontally toward the box with Spike trying like hell to pull her away. It was too much, far too much. She shook her head at Giles and promptly fainted.

Giles caught her and sank to the ground. "Do something!" He screamed at Doyle and Cordelia.

"I SWEAR!" Cordy threw her hands in the air and stomped toward Wesley. "If you want anything done you have to do it yourself! HEY MUSH MOUTH!"

Wesley didn't acknowledge her, he continued chanting and Cordy raised both her eyebrows. "Excuse me? But what happened to your sweet British manners? I spoke to you!"

Spike could feel Buffy begin to slip from him and she screamed again. He gripped her tiny hands in his and cried, "Please! Just a few more minutes!"

Cordy yanked one of the chopsticks from her hair and waved it in front of Wesley. "Want to see what I think of rude old men who can't kiss worth shit?"

Wesley stopped chanting and stared at her just as Spike lost his grip and Buffy hurtled toward the closing crate. "I can't kiss…?"

"No." Cordelia rammed the chopstick through his heart and added. "Even Xander's hoover technique was better!"

The dead watcher looked down at his chest and opened his mouth, drawing one final piercing scream before he plumed. Cordy shook her head, "Buffy was right. Woman!"

Buffy fell from the air and landed against a table before she rolled off and hit the ground. Spike was there almost as it happened and reached for her. "Buffy, are you okay?"

"NO! Don't touch me." She flinched away and crawled to her feet. It had to end. She couldn't take it anymore. Her body ached in ways she never imagined possible and seeing the Master again had shaken her senseless.

Spike stood slowly behind her and stared at the back of her head. "It's me, baby. It's all over."

Buffy turned to face him and laughed cruelly, hysterically. "It's never over."

As if on cue, the scrawny little vampire with the detonator charged her, screaming about blowing them all up and she caught him, wrestling away the black box and shoving him into Spike. She glanced at the device her hand and whispered. "Get out of here."

"What?" Spike shoved the vampire into Angel, who had just been freed by Doyle. He saw something in her eyes that terrified him. She looked hollow and void of any emotion. He stared at the black case in her hand and reached for it. "Give me that, Buffy."

"GET OUT OF HERE SO I CAN FINISH IT!" She screamed at him. Her thoughts were jumbled. All she could think about was pain in her head, the fear in her heart and the desire to be free. "Just go!"

"GIVE ME THAT THING!" Spike screamed back at her, walking toward her. "RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR SO HELP ME…"

"Spike…" Angel shoved the pimply vampire into Doyle who shoved him toward Cordy, who staked him. "don't. Don't yell at her."

"SOD OFF, ANGEL!" Spike's gaze never left Buffy. "Slayer, don't make me take it, god dammit."

Buffy began walking backwards and he followed. "Don't fight me, Spike. I can't fight anymore."

"I'm not going to fight you but I'm also not going to let you hurt yourself."

"I'm so tired, Spike. I'm so tired of this life. It never gets easier." Her back pressed against the wall and she had nowhere else to go so she slid down it and crumpled on the floor. "I can't…"

"I love you, Buffy." Her sobs grew louder and he joined her on the ground forcing her to look at him. "I love you and I can't live without you so if you are going to do this then I'm going with you."

"Spike…" She realized what she was doing suddenly and wrapped her arms around him, his touch soothing her completely. Angel moved forward and took the detonator out of her hand but she didn't notice. "I…I'm…"

"I know, luv." He rocked her back and forth against him, thanking whoever was responsible for giving him another chance at life with her. "It's fine. We're all just fine"

And they were. They didn't detonate the building until everyone was clear and then they all stood together in the distance watching it burn. The fire consumed the entire structure, taking with it the volumes from the Watcher's Council and all of Wesley's rituals and spells. They all knew that something else had burned that night too.

Something even more powerful.

The love of a vampire and a Slayer.

Epilogue

One Year Later.....

"It's all your fault." Cordelia shook her head angrily and pointed her finger at Buffy. "If you hadn't given us all that free equipment, Doyle couldn't have afforded the Vera Wang dress he bought me for that fund raiser and I wouldn't be so miserable right now."

"Maybe you should have kept the dress on then." Buffy grinned at the girl and looked at the monitor on the bedside table. "You're about to have another contraction."

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?" Cordelia screamed and grabbed Buffy by the throat. "I'M DYING!"

Three Hours Later......

"So, are you all staying overnight?" Angel glanced around at the Scooby Gang. "You're always welcome to stay with me."

"I have work tomorrow." Xander shook his head. "Anya and I are gonna leave after we see the baby one more time.

"I'm so glad she had a girl." Willow smiled. "A boy just wouldn't understand why he had to wear designer dresses."

Oz chuckled and pulled her into his arms. "You want to stay or go?"

"Go." Willow shrugged and smiled apologetically at Angel. "Thanks for the offer but I have an early class."

Kate rushed into the hospital's waiting room carrying a big stuffed bear. "Has she had it yet?"

Angel smiled at her and nodded. "It's a girl!"

"Are they okay?"

"They're fine." Willow offered her hand. "I'm Willow. You must be Kate."

"Hi." Kate gave the bear to Angel and shook the girl's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Introductions were made all around and then everyone paused as Spike and Buffy came down the hallway holding hands. He was whispering something in her ear and she was turning a nice shade of burgundy. They stopped walking when they reached the gang and Angel cleared his throat. "Buffy, Spike, this is Kate. Kate, Buffy and Spike."

Buffy genuinely smiled at the girl who had fallen in love with Angel and made his life more bearable. She could see pride on Angel's face when he glanced at Kate but most of all she could see his love for her. Buffy shook her hand and said, "It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you."

"Same here." Kate glanced from Angel to Buffy, almost uncomfortably and changed the subject. "Is Cordelia awake?"

"She is." Spike nodded. "But she's also in a foul disposition."

"No honey." Buffy put her arm around his waist and said. "That's Cordy's usual disposition."

Everyone laughed and Angel and Kate excused themselves to go visit the new mother and daughter. Willow watched to see Buffy's reaction but her friend was engrossed in a pretty large kiss with Spike. "We're going back to Sunnydale, Buffy."

Buffy broke the kiss and grinned impishly. "Sorry."

"You guys going home?" Oz asked.

Spike shook his head and took Buffy's hand. "Actually I got us a room for the night."

An hour later….....

"I can't believe you got us this room again!" Buffy smiled and flicked water toward him. They were both submerged in the very same hot tub that Buffy had pushed Spike into before she admitted she was in love with him.

Spike had brought a portable CD player out with them and was trying to work up the courage to say what he wanted to say. "Luv? I heard this song on the radio the other day. I thought you might like it."

"Aww, you thought about me?" Buffy moved across the tub into his arms and kissed him softly as the music started.

~I wanna wake up each morning
With you for the rest of my life
I wanna feel your heart beating
Just get lost in your eyes
You can tell me your secrets
You can let me feel your pain
You can show me your weakness
And never be ashamed~

"I think about you all the time." Spike leaned his head against her warm chest and listened to her heart. He had grown so used to the sound of it that he honestly doubted he would survive when it stopped beating. She was his anchor, his life.

~Hold on to me when your world's turnin' cold
When it feels like your life's spinnin' out of control
You're hopin', prayin', tryin' so hard to believe
Hold on to me when there's no middle ground
And every emotion is comin' unwound
And you don't know if you can hold on
To your dreams
Baby you can hold on to me

Buffy pulled him even closer if that was possible, wrapping her arms and legs around him. Because of him, because of his constant support and willing arms, she was stronger, better. He held her when she wanted to cry, lifted her spirits when she needed to laugh and allowed her space if she needed it without ever being too far. She didn't know if anyone had ever felt such a love before.

~I wanna lay down each morning
With you right here by my side
I wanna get drunk on your laughter
And wipe all the tears when you cry
You can scare me with your darkness
You can blind me with your light
Throw your worries out the window baby
On your wildest night

Spike reached around her and took the small box from behind the radio. < This is it. Don't sound like an idiot. Just ask her. > He leaned back and looked up at her. She was so beautiful that for a few seconds all he could do was stare. When she raised her eyebrow at him and started to speak, he shook his head. "Don't say anything."

Buffy nodded at him and he traced a water droplet down her neck with his finger, trying to find the courage he was sure he had. He let his gaze wander back up to her eyes and he found it. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled at him and started to kiss him.

"Baby! Let me talk." He grinned when she stuck her tongue out at him and then grew serious. "I can't give you a lot of things and I'll never be able to. I'm sure you know that a life with me would be dark and you'd never be where Cordelia is right now. I can't give you a family."

"Spike?" Buffy's heart was threatening to stop beating. Angel had said this right before he left her. "Are you.."

He put his fingers on her lips to silence her. "What I can give you is my love. I can give you my love and my devotion and I can give you my heart. I gave it to you a long time ago but I don't think that's enough anymore." He took her hand and put the box in it. "Open it."

She looked at him for several long seconds before she opened the small blue box and gasped. There was a small ring with a very large heart shaped diamond in it. "Oh, Spike. It's so beautiful."

"To some people, marriage is a piece of paper but to me it's proof that I found love and held love and was loved in my lifetime. To me, it's the most valuable thing in the world." He plucked the ring from the box gingerly and took her left hand. "Will you marry me, Buffy?"

She grinned through her tears and nodded. "Yes. Yes, I will."

Spike slid it onto her finger, pleased that it fit so perfectly and pulled her into his arms again. Something amazing had happened. A vampire had been given everything his heart desired. He didn't know what their life would be like, he didn't even know how long they would have or what the future held. But he knew that he held HIS future in his arms.

And until the day they died he would love her and she would love him.

~Hold on to me when there's no middle ground
And every emotion is comin' unwound
And you don't know if you can hold on
To your dreams
Baby, you can hold on I said
Baby, you can hold on I said
Baby, you can hold on to me

The End