Eavesdropping

SUMMARY: The plan unfolds. Faith, accompanied by three other people, arrives in Sunnydale. Meanwhile, Spike is watching over the ones he loves from the shadows. But the temptation to take Buffy in his arms is hard to resist. Will he join her in the fight when he discovers the danger is greater than expected?

DISCLAIMER: Blame it on Joss. I am not responsible for the creation of any of those great characters. I just put them in a story of my own for everybody’s enjoyment, I hope.

SPOILER: Alternate season 7

RATED: NC-17

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The limousine was speeding on the freeway, driving away from L.A. The brunette girl was staring out the back window at the retreating lights of the city. Soon, she couldn’t see them anymore so she sat back and lit up a cigarette. It earned her an annoyed snort from the woman sitting next to her. Tailored suit, manicured hands, perfect hair. She poured herself another scotch.

*Classy bitch* Faith thought to herself.

She inhaled deeply, and blew some of her cigarette smoke in Lilah's direction. The other lawyer sitting in front of her laughed.

"Shut up Gavin"

"Ow, I'm hurt. You’re so mean to me Lilah."

The woman turned to Faith.

"And you, put that out."

Faith smiled sweetly.

"Sure, as soon as I'm done."

"You know, we just saved you from a long and painful life in jail, maybe a little thank you would be appropriate don't you think?"

"Geez, did I forget to say thank you? My mom would be so horrified by my manners she'd beat me up into unconsciousness. Good thing she's dead.” Faith replied with her sweetest smile.

"You ungrateful little bitch!"

"There there, Lilah, calm down" Gavin said with this very annoying smile on his face.

As the two lawyers went back to bickering like they had been doing for the past two hours, Faith turned around and went back to looking out the window at the dark night. Nowhere else to look since she was stubbornly trying to avoid looking at the man sitting in front of her in the shadow.

Lilah finally shut up, and served herself yet another drink. He said something hurtful to the lawyer, but Faith shut his voice out. It was too unsettling to see him like that. She rarely felt sorry for people other than herself, but today she did. This wasn't meant to be. But compassion was not for survivors, so she shook the thought away.

"Care to fill me in on the big plan guys?" Faith finally asked, trying her best too look casual.

"Not yet."

"So, I'm supposed to play the staring role, but you won't tell me anything? All I know is: 'we're going to Sunnydale, we're going to take over the place, and I'm gonna play a major role in the ordeal.' What about that ritual the Mayor created for me? What is it all about? And how are we supposed to take Buffy and her little clique down?"

Lilah sighed, but Gavin answered.

"All you need to know for now honey, is that we're going to the Hellmouth, and Sunnydale is going down. This is all according to the Mayor’s will. This was his plan B for you in case everything else would have failed. He left our firm in charge. Our instructions were to get you out of trouble if you already were, and I’d say jail does qualify as trouble, and supervise everything. We're going to tell you the details once we get there."

"Fine."

She looked at the sign saying 'Sunnydale 15 miles' and got lost in her thoughts again.

SunnyD always brought one name back in her mind. Buffy. Her sister Slayer. They could have fought side by side. Sisters. Yes, she could have loved her like a sister. But this was no time to get soft. Not now. She could have loved her, maybe. She had it in her to love her. But she chose to hate her instead. The blond Slayer was everything Faith had always wanted to be. She had everything she always wanted and was always denied. And Faith had to hate her for that. She didn't remember exactly at what point she had chosen between love and hate, but she couldn't go back now. She would have to bring her down. Show her what it is to be the one on the ground. Bring her down like she would bring that Hell hole down.

"You want to kill her, don't you." He asked in a soft whisper.

"Understatement. I want to kill her just as much as you do big boy, and I want to make her suffer before."

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*There you are cutie* Spike chuckled quietly behind the tree.

*What's up with the girl power tonight luv?*

He watched, amazed, as Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Anya walked out of Buffy's house arm under arm. They all had weapons. Dawn and Anya had swords attached to their back, Willow was holding a crossbow, and Buffy had three stakes in her waistband.

*Quake with fear demon population of Sunnydale, for the girls are having a night out* He thought, amused, then started following them.

The girls ended up in one of Sunnydale's cemeteries and picked a fight with four vamps. Spike stuck to the shadows, merely watching the perimeter. He didn't want to get involved too much; he just wanted to keep the fight fair for the girls in case some brain dead vamp would care to join his lameass friends. But the girls were holding their own just fine.

Buffy was handling two at once and Dawn was taking care of her own vamp, while Anya and Willow were working on another one.

*The little bit was right, she IS pretty damn good...* He thought, amazed.

He was smiling proudly, watching Dawn fight, when a huge lahora demon tried to sneak past him.

"Oh no you don't"

He swiftly grabbed the demon in a chokehold from behind.

"See the ladies over there mate? These are my girls, and they are quite enjoying themselves right now. I'd rather keep it this way if you don't mind. Good luck in Hell." And he snapped the demon's neck.

When the fight was over, they all dusted themselves off and started walking in the direction where Spike was hiding. He went behind another crypt quickly so they wouldn’t see him.

Buffy spotted the dead demon Spike had killed and carefully pushed it with the tip of her boot to make sure it was dead.

"Wow, we rock! Those nasty thingies are majorly strong... which one of you guys killed it?"

They all looked at each other. Dawn protested when her sister looked at her.

"Hey, don't look at me" she put her hands up "I'm good, but not THAT good. I dusted my vamp and that's it."

"Oh well" Buffy shrugged "I guess mister friendly demon here had enemies."

Anya chipped in. "Well, us demons rarely kill each other. We don't like each other, but we don't kill each other either. I think the only demon I've ever met that kills other demons is Spike."

The blood drained out of Buffy's face as she tried to keep her cool. "Yeah well he's not here in case you haven't noticed yet. Can we move on?" She snapped harshly at Anya.

Dawn grabbed her sister's hand and they started walking away.

"Geez. Sorry. Someone is in need of a good…"

Willow put her hand on Anya's mouth, keeping her from finishing her thought.

"Anya, we are having a good time. Please don't make Buffy cranky."

Stunned, Spike looked at their retreating backs. It took him quite a few moments before shaking the stupor away and start after them. He was too far behind to eavesdrop on them, but he could tell that Buffy was back in laughing mood, which was good. They got all the way back to Buffy's house.

An hour later, the girls came out again, all wearing pretty dresses, perfume, makeup and high heels... obviously ready for a night out. So Spike took it as his cue to get lost and report to Giles.

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"Wow guys, I don't know how to thank you. I mean, look at that, you even kept it clean! How sweet of you." Faith dragged a finger over the stereo and inspected it mockingly.

Lilah put the bags on the bed.

"Maybe you should consider a career change Lilah. This place is so big; I could use some help. Ever considered a career as a maid?"

"Ever considered shutting you mouth for a second?" Lilah snarled back.

Faith looked at the stereo in front of her and remembered. The last person to stand in front of it was Buffy. That was just moments before they had kicked the hell out of each other and Faith woke up in hospital a year later.

Gavin, the Chinese lawyer who was constantly fighting with Lilah, walked into the loft with the last remaining bags.

"So that's your idea of keeping low profile Lilah dear? Taking quarters in Faith's old apartment? That's just brilliant."

"We have guards at the door."

"Oh yeah, that will do it" sarcastic laughter "That should keep our favorite pesky little slayer at bay."

The other man went to lie down on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head. Faith still couldn't look directly at him.

"Well the slayer won't matter in a few days. Like everybody else in town, she'll either be dead, or working for us." Lilah started busying herself by emptying her bags. "Our men have already recruited half of the able bodies in town. They are all working on the old high school rubbles covering the Hellmouth. It should be ready for the ritual in a few days."

"Then what?" Faith asked Lilah, hitting her punching bag a few times before turning to her.

"Then sweetie, you do your part. You start the ritual the mayor created for you as his plan B, Sunnydale goes down, and we control the Hellmouth and all the evil of this world obeys us. Sounds like fun don't you think?"

"Yeah, party. And then you kill me."

"Unfortunately we can't honey. Because the energy you will channel when opening the gates will make you immortal. You'll become one with the Hellmouth."

Faith laughed. "Oh joy! Faith the immortal. Sounds like some cheap ass TV show. Well if I'm gonna be around for a while, I guess we'd better start trying to get along..."

The two women observed each other in silence for a few moments before both turning away at the same time.

"Nope. Don't think it will happen." The lawyer said with a touch of disdain.

"Me neither. Especially if you don't stop calling me sweetie and honey. I might break your nose at some point."

"Faith?"

She turned to him, avoiding his dark eyes.

"Feel like having a little fun with the Slayer before the big firework? Mess with her head a little?"

Faith wanted to answer, but Lilah was faster

"Sorry to disappoint you dear, but it's gonna be a night in. They must not know we are here yet. You and Gavin have a reservation at the Sunnydale Hilton and Faith and I are staying here."

He looked offended. "What?! But Lilah!.. I was so looking forward to a threesome with two used up hoes... I thought we had something going on here.." He pouted dramatically.

"You. Out."

She pointed at the door.

Faith ignored them.

"Fine. Have it your way. But you don't know what you're missing ladies." The two men walked out.

"We'll see you at the Hotel tomorrow." The door shut before she could finish her sentence.

Faith and Lilah stood in front of each other in uncomfortable silence.

"Uh... I'll... go take a shower." Lilah turned and went to lock herself in the bathroom.

Faith grabbed her jacket and smiled. "What? My first night out in over a year, and you thought, what? We'd have a girls night in? Whatever."

She hopped through the window, and a moment later, she was down on the street.

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Spike was sitting at the bar of a filthy place named The Fish Tank. Not his first choice, but seeing as Buffy and her friends were probably at the Bronze, he had nowhere else to go.

The place reeked. It was the meeting point of Sunnydale's trash and lowlifes, but JD tastes the same everywhere. And loneliness feels the same wherever you go.

He could imagine his Buffy laughing, surrounded by her loved ones at the Bronze. He could imagine her perfectly for having seen her many times. He could just see her dancing, like the very first time he had put his eyes on her. And he was happy for a second because he knew she was not feeling the way he was. She was not lonely. And that was good because he wouldn't wish anybody to feel like that, especially not her.

He finished his glass and asked for another one.

"Hey blondie. You offering?"

The brunette sat on a stool next to him, and leaned on the bar to order a drink. "Whiskey. Straight up."

Not even bothering to argue, Spike threw a couple of bills on the bar and went back to his drink.

She turned and looked at him curiously. "Do I know you from somewhere? You seem awfully familiar.."

"No."

"Not very friendly now, are we." She put her hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off.

"Listen ducks, you should really try to recognize the signs that tells you when a man wants to be left alone."

"Oh, lemme guess, woman problems. I could make you forget if you want..." she gave him a seductive smile and leaned in closer to him.

"Not bloody likely."

"Playing hard to get blondie?"

"That's the thing, I'm not playing. And please don't call me blondie. Reminds me of one of my exs." Spike shuddered at the thought.

"So, that girl's worth the heartache?"

The bartender served him another glass.

"Every minute of pain. She's the most amazing woman ever created, and if I need to talk, I'll pay a shrink."

"We don't need to talk you know. Actually, talking gets me bored really fast. I'm more into action. See, it's my first night out in more than a year. All I want is a drink and a good fuck. She doesn't need to know, and who knows, it might make you feel better..."

Spike turned to face the girl and gave her his trademark smirk. "You’re quite a straight forward little chit..."

She gave him the victory smile. "So I've been told. So... wanna go somewhere?"

He leaned in dangerously close to her face. "See, there is one problem. If there is one thing about me, it's that I'm almost impossible to kill. But luv.. I'm sure you have diseases that could do the trick just fine.."

The girl's face went from sweet and seductive, to pure rage in a heartbeat. She quickly stood up, making the stool she was sitting on fall loudly to the floor.

"You evil son of a bitch!?!" She reached into the inner pocket of her jacket. "I'm so gonna st..."

She got interrupted by a woman who looked as much in her element it the dive as the Queen of England in a farm.

"Fai.. Jean! Quit it! Let's get out of here, you had enough for tonight."

"You’re trippin’! That dickhead needs a lesson. Let go of me bitch!"

"I said enough! Let's go." The woman turned to Spike. "Excuse her, she's a little drunk."

She then quickly turned and dragged the brunette out of the bar.

Spike looked at them leaving, with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. As soon as they were out, he rushed to a public phone and called Giles.

"Hello, Giles speaki.."

Spike interrupted the man impatiently. "What does she look like?"

"Uh, hello to you too Spike. Who looks like what?"

"The girl! The Slayer... that Faith bird. What does she look like?!"

"Pretty, brown hair, looks evil..."

"Oh yeah, that's helpful watcher. You just described half of Sunnydale's population."

"Do you think you saw her?"

"That's the thing. I don't know. The only time I met her, she was in Buffy's body. That reminds me... I'll have to kick her ass for that."

"Look, come back here, and while you're on your way, I'll look around for a picture. I think I might have one somewhere."

"Fine. I'm on my way."

Ten minutes later, Spike was sitting on Giles couch while the Watcher was still looking for the picture.

"And what exactly made you think it was her, if I may ask."

"Well, for one thing, she was a real tramp. But it's also a few things she said. She said it was her first time out in more than a year. And at first, she asked if she knew me from somewhere, and she was really looking at me like she recognized me. Like I said, I really wouldn't recognize her since I've never seen her before, but she got a pretty close look at me."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind, it's not bloody important at the moment. But the part that really got me thinking it could be her is when she snapped at me. She was starting saying something like "I'm so gonna stake you" But she never finished her sentence because that woman stopped her. Oh, and she was reaching into her jacket. Could have been a stake. Even if she's one of the bad guys, she still have the Slayer instincts I guess."

Giles came back holding a picture.

"I found it. Is that her?"

Spike examined the picture.

"Without a doubt. That's the girl I saw."

Spike got up and walked to the kitchen to make some tea.

"Good thing you saw her tonight. This way we won't be taken by surprise..."

The front door opened and Buffy walked in followed by the girls.

"Buffy?" He said it loudly so Spike would hear. "What in the world are you doing here at this time.. I thought you girls were having a night out..."

Spike had ducked behind the kitchen counter as soon as the door opened, and now sat on the floor, hoping no one would go to the kitchen.

Buffy crossed her arms on her chest, and let herself down on the couch with a 'humph', followed by Dawn and Anya. Willow stood by the couch, still a little uncomfortable around Giles after their face off a few months ago.

"We WERE having a night out. Until... until.. nothing happened."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean nothing happened. It's Friday night, it's 11pm, and the club was more than half-empty. Like everybody decided to stay home.

Giles removed his glasses and put them on the coffee table before leaning back into his armchair.

"And did you stop by to say hello and make me feel like I have a social life, or is there something unusual going on?"

Dawn looked insulted. "So you think we only stop by when there's something creepy going on?"

"Yes."

"You're so unfair, we so do not. We come here all the time."

"Because there is always something creepy going on Dawn."

Giles noticed Buffy was looking around with a frown.

"Is something bothering you Buffy?"

She looked at him like she’d just woke up from a dream. "What? Uh.. No. No, nothing. It's just... I don't know.. I just thought… Weird feeling. That's all. I'm tired. My Slayer senses are going haywire.” She shook her head slightly, still frowning. “Ok, lets get to the point so we can all go to sleep. There is something going on. I don't know what, but I don't think it's good. First, my Slayer dream about Faith. Then, we learn that Faith left the prison. There's also the overnight activity at the old High school. And now, the town is deserted on a Friday night. I know it’s not down town L.A., but still."

"I thought it was just the Bronze?" Giles asked, trying to make sense of what she was saying.

"No" Willow said shyly. "The streets too. As deserted as Christmas night."

"Oh" Anya said, remembering something. "And there was a line up today at the Construction Company’s office. People wanting to work on the High school project."

"Yeah, and that's definitely not good. When people volunteer to work on the Hellmouth, that spells trouble. So what do we do?"

"Do you think you could go take a look at the construction site tomorrow Buffy?"

"I'm working during the day, but I could go tomorrow night"

"Just make sure you're not going alone. You should definitely take someone with you. You never know what could happen."

"I could go if you want Buffy." Willow took a step forward. "I'm not ready to fight with magic yet, but I still remember how to use weapons."

Buffy smiled at her friend. "Of course Will. It will be good to be just you and me. We can talk like good old times."

Buffy stood up, and, to Spike's greatest relief, said that it was time to go.

"Willow and I will come back tomorrow night to let you know what we find out.

"Great. So now if you girls don't mind, I'd like to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow Buffy." Giles got up too to see the girls to the door. He closed it behind them after saying goodnight, and walked to the kitchen.

"She knew I was here. She probably didn't believe it, but she knew." Spike stood up.

"Spike... will you go with them tomorrow night?"

Spike looked surprised.

"Of course I will. Why?"

"If something happens, I need to know, will you show yourself to help her?"

"That's a bloody stupid question Rupert. Of course I will."

"Good. That's all I wanted to know."

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"Buffy? Are you there?"

"Hi Will! I'll be down in a sec." Buffy's voice came from upstairs. "Grab a few weapons from the chest, I'm almost ready."

A few minutes later, Buffy made her way downstairs where Willow was waiting for her, already holding and axe and a crossbow.

After Willow came back to Sunnydale, having spent some time in a coven in England, she had moved back in at her parent’s place. Buffy and her mended their friendship, but decided it would be better this way. Too many bad memories. And a little space is always good between friends. They were now trying to get back to being as close as they used to be, so they were spending as much time alone together as possible.

Buffy smiled at her friend. "Ready?"

"Yep. As ready as one can be to go back to high school"

Buffy put on her leather jacket and they walked out into the early night.

They made their way in almost complete silence, save some comments on people, weather and other banalities. They were unaware of the shadow following them closely. Though Buffy did turn around a lot, frowning at the vague feeling in her guts.

After a good fifteen minutes of this little game, Willow couldn't take it anymore. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Buffy!"

"What?" The slayer looked genuinely surprised, and maybe a little guilty.

"What the hell is wrong? You keep looking behind us and you're not paying attention to what I say. Is there something distracting you?"

"No. No, I'm fine. Just being paranoid. I thought, maybe.. never mind. Let's go. I wanna get this over with so we can do something more fun."

They walked the rest of the way to the cemetery close from the high school in silence again, but soon, Willow's curiosity got the best of her."

"Buffy, I thought we agreed never to lie to each other anymore. To never keep se.."

"I'm in love with Spike and I miss him. There. I said it. "

Floored, Willow stopped to look at her friend who kept walking past her like nothing happened.

"So not what I expected." Willow finally managed to say to no one in particular. "Buffy! Wait up!" She tried to catch up with Buffy who had kept on walking.

"Buffy!.."

The Slayer stopped and turned to face her friend. "I've been trying to find a way to say this for weeks now. I know I promised never to hide anything from you ever again, and I was still doing it. I'm sorry Willow. I just didn't know how to say that."

"Well... 'I'm in love with Spike' was a good way to say it. Pretty straight forward… Clear. No ambiguities. Yep, I'd give it a 9.5 out of 10. You lose .5 points for the shock factor. Very bad for my heart."

Buffy laughed and hung her head low. "So... you're not gonna rip my arm off and bash me over the head with it repeating 'dumb, dumb, dumb'?"

"Oh Buffy! Where do you get those ideas? I'm your friend, I'm not here to judge you. And there's not much to judge anyway. Besides, do I look like the saint who could throw you the rock? Miss: I date a werewolf, then turn lesbian, then try to end the world." She stopped for a second and observed Buffy who was still looking at her toes. "So, it's serious huh?"

Buffy finally lifted her head to look at Willow, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Oh Buffy..." Willow pulled her into a hug. "That bad?"

"Yeees" she whined through her tears. "I pushed him away! He's never coming back. I did it again... pushed another guy away from me, and it's all my fault. And I'm never gonna be able to tell him. And I did nasty things to him. And I realized too late that I love him. And I said horrible things to him. And I'm a bad person. And.. And.. you despise me."

"What?! Buffy, no! Why would you say that?" She looked at Buffy with wide eyes.

"You said it once. You said I was pathetic."

"Buffy!! I was drunk on evil powers. I didn't mean that!"

"Must have come from somewhere inside of you. Some part of you must have believed it. You're just too nice to say it."

"Evil me just used something I knew about you to hurt you. It doesn't mean that I think you're pathetic."

"You don't think I'm pathetic for falling for another vampire? A soulless vampire?"

"No. We don't chose who we fall in love with. You think I would have chosen to be in love with Oz? Or to become a lesbian? Talk about complicating your life! It's not a choice, it just happens. If it were a choice, everybody would be happy. There would be no more heartaches. I don't think you're pathetic,” the redhead added sadly. “I'm just very sad for you. He's..."

"Kinda not here?"

"Yeah... That. Do you think he’s gonna come back?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. Let's just say we didn't part in the best of terms. We had a hell of a fight. That's why he left. I don't think he'll come back."

They started walking in direction of the high school again.

"I don't know Buffy. He loves you, you know." she said quietly. "When you died... he was... He probably never told you because he's proud, but we stopped him quite a few times from ending it. And for at least a month, we had to almost force feed him. He was a wreck. Dawn finally got through to him, but I don't think he would have ever gone back to being his old self again. It was like all life was gone out of him and the only thing that kept him going was Dawny. So knowing all that, I seriously doubt he would be able to stay away from both of you forever. But Buffy, the question is, do you think you're ready to face your feelings? What if he comes back and the two of you just fall back into the same patterns again? You didn't tell me much about it, but it didn't sound like a very… healthy relationship..."

They almost reached the school and stopped walking.

"Yeah, I know. But I'm ready. I want this now. It's a little late to realize it though. But even if he's gone, I'm still trying anyway. See? I told you, didn’t I? I also told Giles and Dawn. It's a good step, right? No more hiding for Buffy. If he ever comes back, there won't be anymore hiding. There won't be anymore lies.. to myself, or to others. No more being scared of getting judged by people even if they're my friends and I care about their opinion. It's my heart, and my love life. I'm the one living it and dealing with the consequences. And most of all, there won't be anymore shying away from love in case I would get hurt. You know, Xander told me something once that I thought I understood at the time, but I’m just starting to realize now how important his words were. He was talking about Riley leaving then, but it applies to any man I could fall in love with. He said something like "if you really think you can love this guy ... scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need ... if you're ready for that ... then think about what you're about to lose, go after him." Well he was right, and I didn't apply it. And I lost again. But I'm ready to fix it, if I have the chance. If Spike comes back..."

"You mean when Spike comes back."

Buffy smiled. "When Spike comes back, things will be different. No more pain. I'd like to let myself be happy for once, and make someone else happy in the process. That'd be a nice change."

Willow hugged Buffy again.

"I don't know if I can talk for Xander, but that's all I want for you. You haven't been happy in a long time, and I think it's your turn now."

"What do you say we go check out what's going on over there so we can get it over with and hit the ice cream shop?"

"Great idea."

"I swear to God Will, I've had so much comfort food lately, I'm getting fat!"

Willow laughed.

"You’re not fat! You're just... less skinny."

"What?! I'm not skinny!"

"Are too."

"Are not!"

The two girls kept bickering playfully until they reached a high metallic fence surrounding the construction site. There were 'Keep out' signs placarded to the fence, and not so friendly construction guys all over the perimeter. One of them actually told the girls to get lost. Buffy gave him her answer as a very unlady like gesture that made Willow laugh. They just kept walking around the site, not daring to cross the fence.

Far behind, Spike followed them slowly, still in complete shock after the conversation he had just overheard. He stopped behind a tree to light up a cigarette, and took a look at the surroundings, trying to spot something unusual. It didn't take him long. At a good distance from where he was standing, behind the well-guarded fence, stood the girl that he saw at the bar the night before. She was far, but he was almost completely sure it was her. She was talking to a group of people, one of them showing her a map. But what sent Spike’s senses into overdrive was the other man standing in the shadow behind the brunette. Spike stared, not sure of what he was seeing, trying to get closer in order to get a better view. But before he could be a hundred percent sure of what he saw, the man disappeared. Spike crushed his cigarette under his boot. *Bugger... not enough bloody trouble as it is..*

He looked around for Buffy, but she was out of sight. Cursing himself for letting his guards down, especially now that he knew she was in more danger than he could ever imagine, he started looking for her. If the guy he had seen was who he thought he was, the wanker could be trying to kill her at this very moment.

The blond vampire walked around for almost two hours before making his way to Buffy's house to make sure that she got home safe and sound. When he got there, everything was dark and quiet. He climbed up the tree and hopped on the roof to look inside her bedroom.

The slayer was there, undressing, getting ready for the night. She was standing naked in front of her mirror, brushing her hair. If he had breath, it would have caught in his throat.

Buffy put her brush down, and looked at something he couldn't see. She made her way slowly to her armchair, and picked up... his duster. She brought the soft leather to her face and inhaled deeply. Walking to her bed, she sat down. After looking around the room for a few moments, she turned the light off, and lay down, pulling the leather jacket over her naked body.

He could hear her crying and it brook his undead heart. Unable to take it anymore, Spike stepped over the windowsill, and into the bedroom. He walked quietly to the bed and lay down behind her, passing his arm over her shaking form. She kept crying for a few more moments, then turned to him. Putting her arms around him, she nuzzled his neck, clinging to his body.

"You're not gonna leave me again, are you?"

"Never."

"Spike..."

"Shhh, sleep. You need to rest."

Her sobs quiet down, and after a moment, she finally rested.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Buffy woke up, it was still early morning. She carefully opened an eye to make sure she hadn’t been dreaming, but being half-buried under a hard, and rather heavy body, made it difficult to doubt. She wiggled her way out from underneath Spike, trying not to wake him up, and looked at him for a moment. She smiled to herself *Yep, this is gonna be a good day*

After taking a quick shower, Buffy made her way downstairs to prepare some breakfast for Dawn. She got out the pan and everything needed to make some pancakes and turned the radio on. She started singing along in a very off key voice, dancing around. Buffy didn't hear when Dawn walked in.

"Oh boy I love you so, never, never, never gonna let you go, once I get my hands on you. Oh boy I love you so, never, never, never gonna let you go, I hope you feel the same way too..."

Dawn stopped at the door for a moment to take in the sight of a strangely overly cheery Buffy.

"Brace yourself everybody, the Slayer has officially gone mad"

She walked to the kitchen table and sat down.

"What's with the silliness and happy face this morning Buff? And... Are you cooking? You finally decided to end my life?"

Buffy put her hands on her hips and pretended to be offended. "I am not being silly, and there is nothing wrong with my cooking missy!"

"Your pancakes are burning pet."

"Crap!"

Long shriek from Dawn, and before he knew it, there was an hysterical teenage girl wrapped around him.

"Spiiiike! Oh my GOD, you're back!!"

"Actually, I'm not really here. The smell of your sister's pancakes are giving you hallucinations pigeon."

"Hey! I resent that I’ll have you know." Buffy tried to object.

Dawn ignored her sister and hit Spike on the chest, pouting. "Not funny."

She sat back down, a huge grin plastered on her face. "So, when did you get back? Where have you been? Why did you leave?.."

"I'll tell you everything bit, just not now.."

"Oooh I get it.” She said sulkily. “You wanna tell Buffy first, right? How come I never get to be the one who hears things first?"

Spike raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"Fine. But you have to tell me everything... eventually."

"Sure thing, nibblet."

"This is so cool! I'm so happy you're back!!" Dawn said, looking like she might burst from excitement any minute.

"I'm glad to be back too Dawn." he smiled affectionately at her and ruffled her hair.

They both turned to Buffy who was swearing softly under her breath, looking quizzically at the pan on the stove.

"Sorry Dawny. I tried, but the pancakes are officially dead. Want some toasts?"

"Nah, it’s all right. You'll burn them anyway."

"Hey!"

Spike tried not to laugh. It would be more than a little ironic to get staked after being back in Buffy’s life for only a few hours. He stood up. "If you ladies will excuse me, I need to take a shower."

Dawn got up too. "I'll be on my way. I'll leave you guys alooone." she bated her eyelashes at Spike who rolled his eyes. "I'll be gone for a very long time... I'll probably spend the night at Janice's." She grabbed her backpack. When Spike disappeared up stairs, Dawn ran back to her sister. She hugged her fiercely and kissed her on the cheek.

"So everything's gonna be fine then?"

"I think so." Buffy answered with a small, hesitant smile "Lots to work on, but I think things are gonna be ok."

Dawn said bye and left Buffy alone in the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I don't know Giles... it was just all very strange. So many people working there, after dark. And those construction guys hanging near the fence were just... How could I put it?.. Hostile." Buffy was playing nervously with the phone cord. This phone call was getting to be very long. *should have stopped by last night like I was supposed to instead of waiting until this morning* She thought, slightly aggravated by Giles endless questioning.

"We'll have to go back, maybe in the middle of the night, when no one is there." Giles said, concern obvious in his voice.

Buffy hopped down from the kitchen counter where she had been sitting, eyes wide at the idea of ruining her first night with Spike back in her life. "Cou… could it wait until tomorrow night? I mean... they were still working on it, so nothing's gonna happen tonight, right?" she stammered.

"Why?"

"I'm... gonna be busy tonight. I need the night off."

Giles sighed. "I don't know Buffy..."

"Please?"

"Fine. You're probably right anyway. Nothing is going to happen tonight. So, you have something planned?"

"Uh.. yeah. You know Giles, I'm sorry, but I've gotta go. I'll call you if I something else happens ok?"

"Of course. If you must go..."

"Ok. Bye Giles."

She hung up before he could say anything else.

Buffy put the phone aside, and listened for a second, wondering what Spike was doing. She had been on the phone with Giles for a good half-hour, if not more. Spike should be out of the shower by now, but she didn't hear anything. So she got up, and slowly made her way upstairs. She first looked into her bedroom, but seeing that he wasn't there, she turned and knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

"Spike?.. Spike, are you in there? Can I come in?"

When she didn't get an answer, she slowly opened the door.

"Spike?.."

He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, a towel around his hips, his head in his hands. When he heard her coming in, he lifted his head to look at her. She froze when seeing the look on his beautiful face. Utter desperation, pain, fear... it was all there, in his tormented blue eyes, his face wet with tears.

She slowly moved to sit next to him.

"It's just a bathroom you know." she murmured quietly. She paused for a moment, not really waiting for an answer. "You can't do this to yourself, dwelling on the past is pointless, and it's a waste of time."

Silence again. She could almost feel his pain, and she knew it was genuine.

"The forgiveness has to come from me, and I gave it to you a long time ago. It was actually easier for me to forgive you, than it was to forgive myself for what my insecurities and fears made me do to you."

He tried to interrupt her, but she wouldn't let him.

"No. Let me finish. It's important. What we did to each other last year... there's no words to describe it. We took something that could have been incredible, and we turned it into something toxic, for both of us. I'm responsible for most of it. I know that's not what you wanted, but you just took what I was willing to give you. And you got hurt, and I got hurt too because I wanted more just as much as you did, but I wouldn't let myself have it. And really, what happened at the end, was just the result of this mess that I mostly created."

"Buffy.. please.."

"But that's not the point Spike. The point is, it's the past. And that's now. If we want this to work... you and me, we have to put it behind us and start fresh. Yes we made mistakes. Terrible mistakes. But we have to forgive ourselves, and take it as a learning experience so it won’t happen again." She stood up in front of him.

"Are you willing to try Spike? If you're not, tell me now. Don't make me waste my time and break my heart." Her voice broke as she said the last words and she desperately fought the tears, but she managed to smile anyway.

Spike looked up at her and nodded.

"What do you say we get out of here?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. They walked out of the bathroom, and he followed her into the bedroom. She closed the door behind them. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of himself, still upset about the conversation they just had. Buffy took one step towards him, and they stood in front of each other in silence, their bodies almost touching.

"Buffy..."

"Shhh" She put her fingers to his lips, smiling up at him.

"Spike..." She got closer, her lips almost touching his. "I want you to do what you always wanted to, and I never allowed you to."

"What's that pet?"

"Make love to me. Please."

Without another word, she kissed him tenderly, yet, passionately. Hesitant at first, he deepened the kiss. His tongue slowly, erotically, made love to hers. He snaked his arms around her slender waist and brought her body closer to his, savoring her warmth. A feeling he desperately missed for so long. Holding his Buffy in his arms. But for once, she wanted exactly the same thing he did. Feelings. Emotions. No more emptiness.

Buffy gently pushed him towards the bed, making him sit on it. She undid her robe, letting it fall to the floor and he pulled her back into his arms, kissing her again more fiercely this time.

"I missed you so bloody much pet… You don't know how much. Words couldn’t begin to describe it. You're all I can think of. All the time."

"I know" she murmured with her lips on his neck. "I was going insane without you."

She tugged on the towel still wrapped around his hips, and their skin finally made contact, a feeling they had been missing for months. Spike scooted back on the bed, pulling her along with him. She lay on top of him, rubbing herself on his shaft, arousing him more than it was possible to be. Their lips never parted, tongues dancing with one another. She straddled him and sat up on top of him. Spike moaned, begging her to end his torment.

"Please Buffy. Please, I need you."

"I need you too."

His hands roamed her body, rediscovering it like it was the very first time. And in a way, it really was. He caressed her breasts adoringly, worshipping her golden skin. Slowly, in a torturing way, she lifted herself over him and impaled herself on his hard shaft and let it slide inside of her painfully slowly. She wanted to take her time so she could enjoy the feeling of him filling her up one inch at the time. The feeling was overwhelming for both of them. She held her breath and stilled herself when he was completely sheathed inside of her, enjoying the way he was stretching her..

"I love you Spike."

He looked at her with wide eyes, the words he had longed to hear for what seemed like a lifetime resonating in his head. Words he’d never thought, not even in his most delusional moments, that he'd ever hear coming out of her beautiful mouth.

"Buffy... I love you so much..."

She smiled and lowered herself towards him, taking his lips with hunger. Her breasts were pressed against his cool chest as she started rocking back and fort, in a slow, torturing rhythm.

Soon, they were crying out each other's name in delight and ecstasy as she rode him harder. Everything disappeared around them when they came together, lost in their own world. She crashed on top of him, bliss overcoming her senses and Spike held her close to him.

Spent, Buffy rolled on her back and laughed softly.

"What's so funny pet?"

"Nothing, it's just..." she propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. "Nothing, it's silly, really."

"No, what is it?"

"It's just that... I use to think we couldn't get any better at this but, I don't know if it's the four months apart or what, but Jesus Christ, you just blew my mind."

"I don't know luv, maybe it's because it wasn’t a cold, emotionless shag… The way we used to have them during our less than stellar past together."

She smiled somewhat shyly at the reminder. "Yeah, might be it."

She kissed him gently while playing with his tousled bleached hair. "So, where have you been all this time?"

Spike suddenly looked uneasy. "Around."

"Let's try it one more time, being a little more vague." Buffy said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"But that's just it Slayer, I've been around. From Sunnydale to Kenya. Kenya to Morocco, to Spain. France, England... Around seemed like a good word to describe it."

"And of course, I would waste my time if I’d asked you what the Hell you were doing all the way across the planet?”

"I needed time to think. Clarify things about myself. Try to find out who I really am I guess."

"So you went to Tibet to meditate?" She joked, trying to get information from him.

"Not exactly."

"I'm not gonna get anything from you today, am I?"

"Sorry pet. It's not that I don't want to tell you, I just don't know how to say it. I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it."

She cuddled up against him with her head resting on his shoulder. "It's ok, you'll tell me when you feel like it. We don't have to talk." She caressed one sharp cheekbone with the tip of her finger, down the side of his face, finally resting her fingers on his full lips. He sucked lightly on her fingertips, then smiled down at her.

"You look tired Spike. Wanna sleep some more?"

He closed his eyes, and rested his head on the pillows with a sigh. "Mmm, yeah. Didn't get much sleep lately. Nightmares and Giles's bunkbed, not the best combination for a good night of..."

His eyes shot open when he realized what he had just said. Buffy sat straight up and stared wide-eyed at him.

"Excuse me? What did you just say? You stay with Giles?.. He knew that you were back?! For how long were you here?!?"

"Which question did you want me to answer exactly..."

"Spike!"

"Okay, okay! Don't get your knickers in a twist Slayer. I've been here for a week... and a half."

"He knew. Why did you go to him? Why did he let you stay with him? He fucking knew and he didn't tell me?! I'm so gonna kick his ass for that!"

"Buffy... Don't blame him, it's not his fault. I asked him not to tell you. He just kept his word, is all. When I got to London at the beginning of the summer, he was there to get his stuff before moving back to Sunnydale. I ended up, God knows how, on his doorstep. He helped me deal because it turned out the soddin soul isn't as much fun as I.." Once again, Spike realized, at Buffy's face, that he put his foot in his mouth. "Bugger"

"What did you say?" Buffy paled, her eyes slowly filling up with tears. "What are you talking about?"

"Buffy... I'm sorry pet. I didn't want you to find out like that."

"A... soul? You… got... your soul?"

"Yeah." he said softly, not daring to say anything else. Lifting his head to look at her, he saw that she was now crying. He smiled sadly.

"Bloody great. I did it to make you smile, but it seems like all I always manage to get from you are tears, no matter what I do."

She unexpectedly threw her arms around his neck, embracing him almost painfully. Hiding her face in his shoulder, she tried to control her sobbing to no avail. "I'm sorry. It's just a lot to take." she managed to choke out between two sobs. "I'll smile later, ok?"

"Shhh, it's ok pet. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

After a few minutes, she pulled away from him.

"How.. How did you do it? I mean... There’s no super market for souls. And besides, demons don’t want souls. That's a well-known fact. Angelus would have rather staked himself than getting is soul back. And, you... Why?"

"God Buffy, it's so complicated, I don't even know where to start." he ran his fingers through his hair wearily, not looking at her. "Last year has been tough for both of us."

"I know, I was there, remember.?" She tried to joke.

He smiled sadly. "Yeah. Last year, I fooled myself into thinking that I was not the monster that I was. I really believed it Buffy. I thought I was good enough for you. When you were telling me that I was just a soulless evil... thing.."

Tears started falling from Buffy's eyes again as memories came flooding back.

"I didn't really believe it.” He continued. “I thought it was just stupid excuses for not being with me. Excuses to hurt me without feeling guilty about it. But that night... I realized that you were right all along."

"Spike..."

"No. Now it's my turn not wanting to be interrupted. I need to say this. I love you Buffy. I really do. More than I thought possible. When you died, the pain I felt from your lost was just unbearable. So many times I wanted to kill myself, make it stop. You're everything to me, and despite all that love, I still managed to hurt you in the end. What I did that night was unthinkable and there is no excuse for it no matter what you say. The worst part is that I only understood the extend of what I had done after it was too late. I guess that's when I got it: I can play man as much as I want, the monster is not dead. It’s always there inside of me. There would always be a moment when I could lose control of it and it would come forward and hurt the ones I love. I understood why you couldn't trust me. Because I couldn't be trusted. It’s as simple as that. As long as I didn't know what I was, as long as I hadn’t chose what I wanted to be, man or monster, I couldn't stay around you. And since I can't stay away from you... the conclusion seemed logical to me. I heard of a demon in Africa that could grant wishes to those strong enough to endure his trials. So I went, endured the trials, and got the soul."

"Then… then what?" She asked, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Then I wandered around, lost and confused. Not sure of whom I was, and where I was. I wasn't entirely there, I'm shamed to admit. The horror and guilt was a little more than overwhelming during the first month. I have no idea how I got to London. No idea at all. All I know is that I found Rupert's place somehow. Rup found me on his doorstep just before sunrise one morning, and took me in. Through my mad rambling, he understood that I got my soul back. So he stayed with me for a week, to help me deal, before going back to Sunnydale."

"He left you there all alone after only a week?! What is he? Heartless?"

"Honestly pet, there wasn't much he could have done for me. He provided me with a roof, and a fridge full of blood. That's all I needed. And he called me pretty much everyday."

"Spike, I'm not worth all that pain."

"Of course you are Buffy. You're worth every second of it."

She went back into his arms, and after a moment, giggled softly, lost in her thoughts.

"What's funny pet?"

"It's just.. Can you imagine Angel's face when I tell him all that?"

Spike grinned happily at the thought.

"I can just imagine how the conversation would go. ‘Hi Angel! How are you doing? Me? Peachy. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You know Spike... remember? Your childe that gets on your nerves sooo much? Well, we're in love, and he got his soul back for me. So, anything new in your life?"

"Oh, the Poof would stay catatonic for at least a year. His hair would go flat with the shock." Spike added, a dreamy look on his face.

"We'll tell him if it makes you happy. Promise."

"Really? You're not just saying that?" he asked, hopeful.

She grinned evilly at him. "Dead serious baby. You look like you could use some major cheering up."

"I think I have all the cheering up I need right here in my arms." He kissed her.

They lay back down on the bed just holding each other and spent the rest of the evening like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Faith, what you did last night was really as stupid as it gets. Of all the people you could have been flirting with, you had to go for William the Bloody. Nice choice."

Lilah was pacing, completely aggravated by the Slayer who obviously couldn't care less. Faith was sprawled on her bed, filling her nails.

"Why would you go for the Bleached Wonder anyway sweetheart? He does have a nice ass, but he's annoying as hell. Believe me, I've been there, I know."

"I didn't know it was Spike, ok? Met the guy once, and I was still a little weird about being in Buffy's body at the time. And when I did recognize him, it just made it more fun. After all, how could he recognize me? I was wearing Buffy's body when I met him."

Faith got up, looking defiantly at Lilah. "You know what? This is pointless. First, I didn't ruin your plans. I just had a night out. My first in a year by the way."

"You didn't ruin our plans because I got there in time to stop you."

Faith ignored her. "Second, who cares if it was Spike. He hates Buffy. What would it change if he knows we're here?"

"For your information Faith" Gavin clarified, with that annoying teacher's pet look on his face, "Spike has been working for the Slayer for almost two years now. So yes, it does matter if he knows."

"Whatever."

"You know, none of this would have happened if you hadn't forced the girl to sneak out. If you had gone with her Lilah, nothing would have happened, and everybody would be happy. Now Faith, we'll fix it. Let's go out together. What do you say?"

Faith looked at him reluctantly, but then, she gave a quick glance at Gavin and Lilah and grabbed her jacket.

"No riots, scout’s honor."

Before the lawyers could protest, they were both out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Spike woke up in the morning, he was alone in bed. He sat up and looked around the room sleepily. The Slayer was standing in the middle of the bedroom, holding a white cotton sheet around her body with one hand, her other arm hanging by her side. There was a sheet of paper held loosely in her hand. She didn't make a sound, but he knew she was crying. Getting out of bed, he walked up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"What's wrong luv?"

She leaned back against him, not answering. So he took the paper out of her hand to look at it.

It was a drawing. Rather beautiful drawing actually. The two of them in bed, sleeping in a very intimate position, their bodies entangled closely. The artist was quite talented. No signature. Didn’t matter, it would have been unnecessary. He knew.

"God Buffy, I'm so sorry. I should have said something, but I wasn't sure enough."

"You knew? How did you find out?"

"The other night, when you went to the old high school, I thought I saw him with Faith. But they were so far away, and I didn't have enough time to make sure it was really him. Besides, he could have been just putting on an act to get some insides. I didn't want to upset you without making sure first."

He pulled her up against his chest.

"I'm sorry baby. I can only imagine how you must feel right now."

"No, I'm okay actually. I don't really care. He's been on and off a lot... I'm just so sad for him. He wanted redemption so much... But I'm ok. I'm ready to get it over with this time. I think it's better this way."

"You sure bout that Slayer? Angel's the love of your life... soul mate and all that rot. I though you wanted him to be redeemed so he would be human again and you could live happily ever after..."

Buffy pulled away and looked up at Spike with a mix of shock and anger. "What are you? Deaf or something? Haven't you heard me saying I love you? Do you think I say that to just anybody? Do you think I see you as a consolation price? I can't have my first choice so I'll just settle down for number two? I'm not in love with Angel anymore, haven't been for a while. I will always love him, as a friend, but I'm not in love with him. I love you, you moron!" She kissed him.

"Love you too Buffy."

"C'mon now, let's go tell the gang about the good new."

"Which one pet?" He asked her with a smirk.

Buffy sighed heavily. "Crap."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 4: Red hot steel and other gadgets

Back to the Fanfiction realm

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