America's sexiest home video
SUMMARY: Xander got himself a new X-rated soap opera to watch. Ever noticed how soaps are just so damn addictive?Xander shook his head, as if waking up from some weird dream. **Nah, they did not… Did they? They couldn’t possibly have..** He turned the DVD case in his hands, looking at it suspiciously.DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, Joss Whedon and his minions are behind Buffy and company. I just make the characters do what they should do according to me.
SPOILER: Season 6ish
RATING: NC17, PWP
WARNING: This fic deals with voyeurism. If that's not your thing, can't say I didn't warn you :-) And for those of you who embrace their inner voyeur... enjoy the fic!
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A/N: All right, so, this is the conclusion of the story. It makes me sad, but it had to end eventually. I hope you've enjoyed it. Drop me a line to let me know, reviews are always welcome
CHAPTER 9: Full Circle
Xander walked out of the elevator on his way to his apartment, and passed a UPS guy who was leaving. The guy took a few steps before turning to Xander.
“Hey. You wouldn’t happen to be X. Harris, would you?”
Xander stopped and turned to face the man. “Depends. Are you an IRS guy undercover?” he said with his trademark goofy grin. But seeing the guy rolling his eyes and walking away, he stopped him.
“Hey, don’t go. I was kidding. That’s what I do, I kid.” Seeing the guy wasn’t amused, he quickly added “Never mind. Xander Harris at your service. Do you have something for me?”
The UPS delivery guy walked back to where Xander was standing and handed him a thick brown envelope after making him sign. “Here ya go.”
“All right, then.” The guy mumbled. “Have a nice day, sir.”
He didn’t wait for an answer before turning around, leaving Xander to look at the package with a puzzled expression on his face. He shook it, like a curious kid shakes his presents on Christmas morning. He had no idea what it could be, or who would send him a package. Knowing how things were in his home town, it was probably something evil that would bring on the apocalypse.
Shrugging, he unlocked his apartment door and walked in. He dropped his keys and mail on the kitchen table and went to sit on the couch, the package still in hands. He turned it around, inspecting it carefully as if it was going to explode. There was no return address.
Taking a risk, he opened it and peered inside. The package contained two items. A DVD and a note. The DVD had nothing written on it. It was the kind you use with DVD burners on your computer to make home movies. He unfolded the note. The words: ‘Don’t watch this in front of Anya or she’ll probably call on all her little vengeance demon friends to do unspeakable things to you’, were underlined many times. The rest of the note read:
Hey Whelp. Figured it wasn’t bloody fair to leave you hanging after you watched your little reality show religiously for so long. Here’s what you can consider the show finale. My girl felt kinky the other day and I convinced her it could be fun. But she only agreed under the condition that you never, EVER, mention this to her, and destroy the DVD after you watch it. So you better do it or I‘ll kick your arse.Consider this as being our special thank you for saving our relationship from being just another footnote in the book of Buffy’s history of love disasters.
Take care mate,
Spike and Buffy
It was probably a big joke, he was sure of it. He could imagine Buffy and Spike, sitting in front of their computer, Buffy giggling madly as they downloaded a porn movie staring two blonde actors. Maybe they went as far as removing the original sound track and made their own. “Oh Spike! Yes, take me!” Buffy would scream, then giggle some more.
**Nope, they wouldn’t know how to do that kinda thing on the computer** He rationalized, still not knowing what to think.
He was very confused. Very. And a little shocked. But as usual, the great king of denial made an appearance to explain the whole thing away. Yes, that’s it. He’d pop the DVD into the DVD player, press play, and Buffy’s face would appear on the screen and she’d scold him for even playing it in the first place and would tell him to get a life and stop being such a pig and that she’s very insulted that he’d even think for a second that she’d do such a thing. He threw the case on the coffee table and slumped on the couch, deciding against watching it.
And then, it started. Just like in that episode of Seinfeld, when Jerry’s dick played chess with his brain to decide if the very annoying hot girl he was dating was worth the mental suffering just so he could sleep with her. Xander briefly wondered if Spike ever had such thoughts when he was dating Harmony. Very likely. He shook his head and when back to his mental game of chess. He could see in his mind eyes naughty Xander sitting in front of nice Xander at the kitchen table, arguing over watching the video or not. When he realized that he was hoping for naughty Xander to win, he gave up and took the DVD case from the coffee table.
Taking a deep calming breath, he stood up and went to the TV. He knelt in front of the DVD player and put the movie in. He pressed play, and went back to sit on the couch with the remote control. He adjusted the volume just in case. He didn’t want the neighbors to think he was a big ol’ perv who spent his afternoons watching porn. Especially since Anya told pretty much all the neighbors that they were getting married. Not that it would be porn, Xander reminded himself. Just a big joke his friends played on him. Nothing else.
Anya wouldn’t be back for a few hours, he was safe enough. So he waited for something to happen. It didn’t take too long.
The screen came to life, revealing Buffy. She was standing very close to the camera, making adjustments. Her long golden hair was falling over her shoulder and she seemed to be concentrating on something, her pink tongue peeking through her glossy berry colored lips.
“How do you know this thing is recording? Is it even on?” The Buffy on the screen asked.
Spike’s face appeared right behind her. He was frowning slightly, deep in thoughts.
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t it say on the computer screen somewhere?”
She pouted, a matching frown on her pretty face. “I guess we’ll just have to assume its working cause I have no clue.”
Spike went back to the bed that Xander could see in the background. Buffy’s bed. Well, it was Buffy and Spike’s bed now, since he moved in with her. The blonde vampire knelt on it, bouncing slightly in eagerness.
“Come on, pet. If it is recording, you’re ruining it right now. We don’t know how to edit the bloody thing so he’ll get all the yapping.”
The screen suddenly switched to night vision, then back to normal and Buffy giggled, obviously pleased by her discovery.
“Hey!” She said excitedly. “Did you know we could make it in night vision? That is so beyond cool. Just like Paris Hilton’s sex video!”
Spike smirked and tilted his head to the side. “You’ve watched that, didn‘t you? Naughty girl. ”
Buffy blushed, clearly embarrassed by her slip. “No way! I would never waste my time watching trash like that.”
“How would you know about the night vision thing then?”
She bit her lower lip while trying to come up with a possible answer, but finally gave up. “Like you haven’t watched it! The entire world has seen ‘A night in Paris’. I‘m surprised Fox hasn‘t aired it yet. And can we get back on topic here?”
“Fine pet, whatever you say. So let’s just assume it’s working and go ahead.”
She gave the camera her brightest smile. “Hi Xand. Since we’ve so rudely interrupted the Spike and Buffy show a few weeks ago, and in the middle of a cliffhanger too, we thought you needed some closure. So we decided to send you one last episode so you wouldn’t feel like you’ve missed anything. Well, Spike thought it would be nice, and he kinda convinced me. You know how it is… the guy can make me do anything he wants with his unfair convincing techniques.”
“Slayer…” Spike growled warningly. “Get on with it would you?”
“Hey! Don’t rush me.”
Xander couldn’t help laughing at their antics. These two were really something else. He could honestly not remember why he was ever against them being a couple. He must have been out of his mind. They were perfect for each other. Completely insane, but at least, they understood each other in their own wacky way, and loved every second of it. Obviously.
On the screen, Spike came up behind Buffy. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and lifted her clear off the floor. She squealed and laughed when he dropped her unceremoniously on the bed then pounced on her.
“So…” He drawled, his voice a sexy rumble. “Where were we again?”
He started undoing the button of her shirt slowly, kissing every inch of skin he uncovered.
“If memory serves well, in the last episode, the Slayer’s tortured vampire lover was right pissed off and destroying his crypt in anger…”
He separated the sides of her now unbuttoned shirt and dipped his tongue in her belly button, making her sigh and laugh softly, before continuing.
“He thought his Slayer didn’t love him and never would. What pity. So like the right git that he is, he decided it was best to leave town.
Spike buried his face between her soft, round breasts, inhaling her sent and enjoying the warmth of her silky skin. He gave the curve of her cleavage a slow lick before undoing the front clasp of her red lacy bra.
“So, in an impulsive and over dramatic move, he jumped on his bike and drove off into the sunset.”
“Spike?” Buffy interrupted in a throaty voice. “If you’d drove into the sunset, you wouldn’t be here right now, honey.”
“Details, Slayer. Let me tell the soddin’ story. It sounded good.”
She chuckled and closed her eyes as he sat up to look at her. He took her breasts in the palm of his hands, playing with them and squeezing in a way that, by the sounds she made, she clearly enjoyed.
“But our beautiful heroine wouldn’t accept such a thing. Not after every wanker in her life abandoned her, leaving her behind without looking back. No. Their story wasn’t meant to end this way. So after her mate Xander told her what was going on, she decided that was bloody unacceptable, and she ran after her lover.”
“Spike,” Buffy warned. “Stop teasing me you undead… tease!”
He grinned at the beauty laying beneath him. “Sorry, pet. What is it you want? I’m kinda busy right now, what with telling the story and all.”
She pouted. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”
“I try my best.” He winked at her, then unzipped her pants and roughly pulled them down her legs. “Here. Better?” He asked, lightly biting the inside of her thigh.
“Getting there.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
He put his hands on her ankles and caressed his way back up to her red lace thong. He grazed his thumb over her mound, getting a whimper for his trouble.
“Good girl. Now where was I? Oh yeah, the Slayer was pissed that her vampire had left town, so she decided to go after him. Good thing she did because the poor bloke was slowly losing his mind in an old motel room outside of town, wondering how he would ever survive without his beautiful love.”
“Slowly losing his mind? You stayed in that room maybe two hours before I got there! You definitely need to stop watching Passion, it’s…”
Spike decided that it was more than time to interrupt her tirade and so he kissed her senseless until she had to push him away to draw in a desperate breath.
“Nice way to shut me up, lover.” She had the decency to look somewhat sheepish when he gave her a scolding look. “Sorry, go on.”
He rubbed his cheek lovingly on her warm breast, one of his hands diving between her welcoming thighs and into her wet heat under the lace of her soaking underwear. She mewled softly at his action, encouraging him.
“That night, in the motel room, the two lovers slept in each other’s arms. They were tired. Tired of fighting, tired of hurting, tired of not letting themselves love each other the way they should.”
“Oh God,” Buffy whimpered, lost in her own sea of lust as he ripped her thong off her body in one move. “You’re as good with your hands as you’re good with words. You should write books… and keep using your hands.”
Spike chuckled and rose above her on his knees to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. He took his t-shirt off in one swift motion and threw it carelessly to the other side of the room, then sat to remove his jeans. He quickly reclaimed his rightful place between her legs. He captured her lower lip between his teeth, nibbling lightly before covering her mouth with his.
Xander stood up from his position on the couch to get closer to the TV, fascinated by the show they were giving him. Of all the times he’d seen them together, this was by far the best. It made him giddy to think that they might have never reached that point in their relationship if it wasn’t for him and his little perverted addiction. Who would have known, when he started watching those videos, that it would lead to this. That his voyeur tendency would have positive consequences. He still felt shame, but his friends were happy. Nothing else really mattered. And obviously, they were not holding a grudge against him. That was a plus. He had been so afraid he’d lose Buffy over this.
“The next day,” Spike said, taking a nipple between his lips and giving it a quick suck before letting it slip out of his mouth with a wet sound, “The Slayer and her vampire lover fought under the stars, the way they used to in what seemed like another life. But it felt good. It made her face feelings she hadn’t wanted to face before. Made her release the anger she’d been carrying around for too long.”
Spike reached down and positioned his oversensitive cock at Buffy’s wet opening, but he held back.
“Spike, please…” Buffy moaned, desperate for the release only he could offer her. She shimmied underneath his body, seeking contact. Her hands traveled restlessly over his taut body, exploring his hard muscles. She could never get enough of him. Never.
“And then, the Slayer told her vampire the three most beautiful words in the world.” “I love you.” She said before he could say it. “I love you so much, Spike.”
He smiled down at her lovingly and kissed her swollen lips with a tenderness that warmed Xander’s heart.
“I love you too, Buffy. Always.”
Spike penetrated her, making her cry out in pleasure. They both had a look of ecstasy on their faces.
Xander smiled broadly. He reached out, and turned the TV off.
Happy.
His friends were happy.
He shook his head, still grinning madly, and stood up. Man was he ever a sucker for happy endings!
THE END
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