- she called me to get my phone number.

- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

- she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

- she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

- she tried to drown a fish.

- she thought a quarterback was a refund.

- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

- if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.

- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

- she tripped over a cordless phone.

- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"...she put Sagittarius."

- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

- she studied for a blood test.

- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

- she sold the car for gas money.

- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.

- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.