"Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently."- Rosa Luxemburg, Polish-German revolutionary.

"Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."- Red Buttons

"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."- Steve Bluestone

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."- George Carlin

"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."- Carol Leifer

"The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise."- Roger Simon

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."- Dave Edison

"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place."- Johnny Carson

"We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans ..."- Bill Clinton (USA TODAY, 11 March 1993, page 2A)

"Eventually, that which prevents you from your work, becomes your work."- S. Sontag

"But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret."- Ronald Reagan

"The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news, we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were."- David Brinkley

"I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow..."- Frank Zappa

"It's a good idea to keep your words soft and sweet, because you never know when you'll have to eat them."- Dave Garroway

"What concerns me is not the way things are, but the way people think things are."- Epictetus

"Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You choose."- Unknown

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."- Wayne Gretzky

"Well, I don't care how many girls you've dated. Man, you ain't lived 'till you've had your tires rotated... by a red-headed woman."- Bruce Springsteen

"Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one."- Theodore Roosevelt