The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggrevation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."
So the Polak takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?", the Polak asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day", the Polak tells himself. So, the next morning the Polak gets up at 4 in the morning and cuts, and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and he only manages to cut five cords.
The Polak is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer", the Polak says to himself. The very next day the Polak brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the Polak's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case.
The dealer says, "Huh, it looks fine." Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the Polak responds, "What's that noise?"
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There was once a Polak who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it. Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me."
He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a Polak?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a Polak or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?"
The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"
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A group of Italians and a group of Poles heard that the telephone company was looking for people so they went and applied. The telephone company decided to give them a test before hiring anyone so they sent the teams out to install telphone poles.
At the end of the day they reported back on how they had done. The Italian team had installed 10 telephone poles and the Polish team one.
The Italians were hired but the Polish team protested that the Italians had cheated because the Italians left most of the poles sticking out of the ground.
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A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."
Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the superbowl, dirt bikes, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."
A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Poland these days?"
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