Willow- "Ooooh. I need to sit down." Buffy- "You are sitting down." Willow- "Oh, good for me."
Buffy- "What, did you send away for the Time Life series?" Giles - "Uh, yes." Buffy- "Did you get the free phone?" Giles - "Calendar." Buffy- "Cool!"
Buffy- "There's something you forgot about, too." Luke- "What's that?" Buffy- "Sunrise." (Buffy throws drum stand through window. Luke claws at his face in pain.) Luke- "Huh?' (Buffy stakes him) Buffy- "It's in about nine hours moron."
Buffy- "You know, I just wanted to start over. Be like everyone else. Have some friends, maybe a dog. But no, you had to come here. You couldn't go suck on some other town."
Xander- "Yeah, you know. I kind of had a problem with the math." Willow- "Which part?" Xander- "The math.“
Buffy- "The Harvest, that mean something to you, because I'm drawing a blank." Giles - "I'm not sure. Who told you this?" Buffy- "This guy. Dark, gorgeous in an annoying sort of way. I figured you two were buds." Giles - "No. Did he say anything else?" Buffy- "Something about the mouth of Hell... I really didn't like him."
Willow- "But aren't you...hanging with Cordelia?" Buffy- "I can't do both?" Willow- "Not legally."
Buffy- "Are you two going out?" Willow- "No. We're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up." Buffy- "How come?" Willow- "He stole my Barbie. Uh, we were five."
Willow- "Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that." Buffy- "I was thinking a more subtle approach. Like excessive not studying." Giles - "The earth is doomed."
Buffy (talking to her mom)- "I've accepted that you had sex. I'm not ready to learn you had Farrah hair."
Xander (in reference to Willow)- "It's pretty much like we're going out." Willow- "Except without the hugging, or kissing, or her knowing about it."
Buffy (in reference to Giles)- "I'd say he get a girlfriend, if he wasn't so old."
Willow- "Yeah, you're the Slayer, and we're the Slayerettes."
Buffy- "I just don't like putting you guys in danger." Xander- "I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away."
Buffy- "Have you seen the people that work on yearbook? Nerds pick on them."
Buffy- "What happened?" Angel- "Didn't pay attention." Buffy- "To someone with a big fork?" Angel- "He's coming." Buffy- "The fork guy?"
Giles - "She is, by and large, woman-shaped." Buffy- "Okay, factoid one: only the praying mantis can rotate its head like that. Factoid two: a pretty whacked out vampire is scared to death of her. Factoid three: fashion sense screams predator." Willow- "The shoulder pads." Buffy- "Exactly."
Buffy- "Ooh, two points for the Slayer while the Watcher has yet to score."
Giles - "Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand." Buffy- "Oh, right, vampires. Does this outfit make me look fat?"
Willow- "Ya'know what would be lots of fun? The Sunnydale Funereal Home." Owen- "That sounds kinda cool. Do you think it'll be fun?" Xander- "We saw some guys in there before, they seemed to be having fun..." Buffy- "Bite me!"
Buffy- "If the apocalypse comes, beep me."
Buffy- "In that case, I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm a Slayer, ask me how'"
Buffy- "Now what?" Xander- "You took a bath." Buffy- "Yeah, I...I often do, I'm actually known for it." Xander- "That's okay."
Buffy- "I suppose some girl might find him good looking...if they have eyes. All right! He's a honey."
Xander- "Shoot me, stuff me, mount me."
Giles - "They were sent to the principal's office." Willow- "Good, that'll show em. Did it show 'em?" Buffy- "They didn't hurt him did they?" Giles - "They...ate him." Buffy- "They ate Principal Flutie?" Willow- "Ate him up?"
Willow- "Xander! What's happened to him?" Buffy- "I hit him." Willow- "With what?" Buffy- "A desk."
Buffy- "Huh? Oh, Reconstruction. Reconstruction began after the construction, which was shoddy, so they had to reconstruct."
Buffy- "Well, when you've been around since Columbus you are bound to pile up a few ex's. You are older than him right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes."
Xander (to Cordelia) - "And I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker."
Xander- "Now I'm saying something, you saw him naked?!"
Buffy- "Not exactly, for us to have a conversation, there'd have to be a boy for us to have a conversation about. Is that a sentence?"
Xander- "Whoa, stop this crazy whirligig of fun. I'm dizzy."
Angel- "I'm just an animal, right?" Buffy- "You're not an animal. Animals I like."
Xander- "To read makes our speaking English good." Buffy- "We'll be going now." Giles - "We will continue this conversation another time." Buffy- "I think we're done.“ (Whispers to Xander as they walk out) “Makes our speaking English good?" Xander- "I panicked, okay?" "
Buffy- "And Moloch is inside that book?" Giles - "Not anymore." Xander- "You released Moloch?" Buffy- "Way to go."
Giles - "Does this look familiar to you?" Buffy- "Yeah, sure. It's a book." Xander- "I knew that one."
Dave- "Well, you can pull up someone's profile based on their user name." Buffy- "But they write the profile themselves, so they could say anything they wanted?" Dave- "Yeah." Buffy- "Wow, I had knowledge."
Buffy- "Will, down girl. Let's focus here, okay?"
Willow- "I was talking." Buffy- "Talking to...okay, that's it, you have a secret and that's not allowed." Willow- "Why not?" Buffy- "'Cause there's a rule."
Buffy- "My spider sense is tingling." Giles - "Spider sense?" Buffy- "Pop-culture reference. Sorry."
Xander holding dummy- "Redrum! Redrum!"
Buffy- "Ew! Dummy." Xander- "Duh-ow! Mime." Willow- "I think dummies are cute, you don't?" Buffy- "They give me the wig. Ever since I was little." Willow- "What happened?" Buffy- "Saw a dummy, it gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there."
Sid- "Don't get teary on me, I've lived longer than most Demon hunters, and Slayers for that matter. Of course, if you wanna snuggle up and comfort me..." (Puts his hand on Buffy's knee. Buffy puts Sid's hand back.) Buffy- "So that horny dummy thing really wasn't an act, was it?" Sid- "Nope!"
Snyder- "I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show." Buffy- "What?" Xander- "No." Willow- "Please?"
Cordelia- "What?' Giles - "Uh, I'm sorry, but, uh, your hair, um..." Cordelia- "There 's something wrong with my hair? (Feels around) Oh, my God!" (She runs off.) Giles - "Xander was right, it worked like a charm."
Buffy- "Because you thought I was the demon." Sid- "Could you blame me for thinkin? Look at you, you're strong, athletic...limber...nubile... (trails off) I'm back."
Buffy- "Look, Mom. If you really wanna support me, you'll stay away. Far away."
Xander- "I'm not worried, if there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party." Buffy- "Thanks for having confidence in me." Xander- "You da man, Buff."
Buffy- "Scary! I'll tell you something though. There are a lot scarier things than you. And I'm one of them."
Cordelia- "You've cut History just about every time we've had it." Buffy- "I was there the first day, I think."
Xander- "Alright! Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness."
Xander- "I'm sorry, I'm unruffled by spiders. Now if a bunch of Nazis crawled across my face..."
Xander- "And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy."