- Bronwyn McCahon
(Cosmopolitan November 2002 Issue)
Who? Cosmo’s assitant fashion ed Tali, funnyman Wil Anderson, photographer Chris Ferguson, and hair and makeup artist Melanie Burnicle.
Why? Wil is Cosmo’s new guy spy – he tells us what really goes on in men’s heads. And pants.
The mission? To keep Wil still for longer than five seconds so we could take some photos to run beside his new column in Cosmo.
Where? No corner of Fox Studios was spared. The teacup ride was evacuated, shop mannequins were harassed … he even tried to convince the Ferris wheel operator to give him a free ride, only to be told no, because he was over 65 kilos – it’s for kids only.
The start of something beautiful? Between Wil and photographer Chris, we could launch a brand new comedy series. These boys didn't give their craziness arest. Tali says she spent most of the day on the floor - laughing.
Why do we love Wil? He's every girl's dream guy: he wears what you tell him without asking questions.
A Beckham moment? Wil arrived at the shoot sporting lovely blue nail polish. Ordinarily we'd think this was weird, but surprisingly, it suits him.
Mission Complete? Yep. Wil's not only smart and funny, he's cute too.
WIL..
Introducing Wil Anderson, our spunky new columnist. This month he tells us what men really think of our clothes
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no expert when it come to the world o' fashion. To me, Morrissey is still the moody singer from The Smiths and Collette Dinnigan was the chick who sang Ring My Bell. And I’ve had my own share of fashion disasters- I grew up in country Victoria, where if a man had more than one blue singlet he kept the spare one clean for weddings, funerals and job interviews.
If Eminem were "cleaning out my closet" he would find it packed with everything from a hyper-colour Frankie Says Relax T-shirt to a puffy jacket that made me look like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future and went out of fashion 15 seconds after I bought it. In fact, my propensity to go with the latest fad is the reason I have never gotten a tattoo, because I know I would get something I thought was very cutting edge at the time, but in 50 years my grandkids would be asking: "Hey Grandpa, what’s Bootylicious mean?"
If you think I find the world of men's couture confusing, there are definitely a few trends in women’s fashions that make me want to a) call a friend; b) go 50/50; or c) ask the audience, before I lock in d) what the hell is that about? Thanks Eddie. For starters, hipster jeans. Like most red-blooded men I don’t mind seeing a little bit of skin, but how low can these babies go? It’s like they are scared of the crop tops. I’m sorry, but if they go much lower, they won't be hipsters any more, they will be denim legwarmers. Here’s a guide, girls: you should not have to wax to put on a pair of dacks.
The other problem with hipsters is when you bend over to do anything, you suddenly have so much crack on display Tony Greig is trying to stick his keys in it. If exposing a bit of bum cleavage is the latest in fashion, then there must be brickies around the country saying, "Oh that's sooo five years ago!"
If it's not hipsters, then it’s pre-ripped jeans. Now, I don’t mean to sound like my mother, but why would you buy something that has already been damaged? I’ll buy a pair of pre-ripped jeans when people also start selling pre-wine-and-souvlaki-soaked T-shirts and pre-bong-stained carpet. Of course, then there’s the people who wear the jeans, but also wear a dress over the top. Unless there’s a small prize underneath each layer and you’re trying to turn undressing into some erotic game of adult pass the parcel, guys don’t get this one at all.
I’m also reliably informed that cargo pants are going to be huge again this summer. Why? ‘Cause Kylie has been wearing them a lot lately. Yes, and Kylie also wears gold hotpants the size of my hanky, but I haven't seen too many people squeezing into a pair of them to pop down the street for a latte. Personally, I quite like cargo pants - on girls and boys - but I do have a little bit of trouble finding stuff in all those pockets. You start out looking for your car keys, and end up finding Salman Rushdie and five copies of Encyclopaedia Britannica (but still no keys). And what's with the little pocket at the bottom of your leg, anyway? Every time I walk down the street, Gary Coleman steals my wallet.
But if cargo pants really are coming back, then can we kick something else to the curb please? Yes, I’m talking about those massive belts that are everywhere at the moment, especially the ones that don’t even connect to the jeans. Call me old-fashioned, but if your belt is not holding up your pants, then it’s not a belt, it’s a crop top that has slipped. It’s like getting braces for your teeth and then wearing them as a necklace. Believe me, when a guy sees a girl with a massive belt, all he thinks is "Wow, did that girl just knock out Mike Tyson?"
Which brings me to the gypsy/hippy look. This is one that girls love and guys don’t get at all. Most blokes think if we had to bring back something from the hippy era, couldn’t it have been something fun like a liberal attitude to free love, rather than long paisley skirts?
If I were a fashion designer, for summer I'd bring out the Gypsy-from-Home-and-Away look - clothes that are not only fun and fashionable for around the Summer Bay Surf Club, but also practical enough to wear while working at the Summer Bay Caravan Park.
You can listen to Wil every weekday morning on Triple J's The Brekkie Show from 6 to 9am, and see him on ABC's The Glass House on Friday nights at 10pm.
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