cover by Touchstone

TITLE: Like A Whore: A Lamentations Snippet

AUTHOR: Belladonna

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the boys, nor do I own the song. Although, I think they'd much rather be doing this, don't you?

PAIRING: Doggett/Krycek

RATING: NC 17 all the way… PWP with aspirations to be more…

SPOILERS: Oh, wait, were you serious?

FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg. belladonna81575@yahoo.com

THANKS: For a rapid fire early proofread go to KimberlyFDR, although she said it got too hot for her to read, and thanks for a final beta go to Georgia Peach, who was willing to step in and get me pointed in a direction. Thanks.

DEDICATION: To my greatest fan, my wife, and my muse. Happy birthday, Rachelle, honey. I hope you like your gift.

NOTES: In the Lamentations universe, set mid-"Dirge", John POV

SUMMARY: You make me feel like a whore.

A heavy body settling across his awakened John. Instinctively, he fought, trying to get to his gun. But he was still half-asleep, and the other man had the element of surprise. Within a minute, John's wrists were pinned under the intruder's knees, his full weight resting on them. John jerked his arms one last time, and then opened his mouth to yell. A leather-clad hand clamped down hard over his mouth.

John gasped, his whole body still coiling, preparing to fight, when the familiar scent of vanilla, leather, and gun oil washed over him. Alex. John let his muscles unlock, his head dropping back into the pillow. Just Alex. The hand was removed and Alex's weight shifted off center as he leaned over to snap on the beside lamp.

It was the opening that John had been waiting for. He jerked his wrists loose when Alex was overbalanced, knocking the other man back onto his ass. John was up and moving a second later, lunging for him, his own hands grabbing for Alex's wrists.

They grappled for long moments, and John briefly thought that this time he might get the upper hand. But, although Alex only had one real arm, he was motivated, heavier, and more importantly, he was awake.

This time John ended up face down, his wrists once again trapped under Alex's knees. As he lay there, panting from the exertion, with Alex's weight across his hips, John could feel Alex's rock hard cock pressing against his ass. Alex's breath was hot on the back of John's neck as he bent forward a little, pressing his cock harder against John. They both liked it rough, and John wasn't surprised that Alex was hard. Hell, he was too. But, as Alex ground his hips into his ass, John sensed that this time Alex wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Alex…" He didn't answer, simply leaning forward to lick a long line up John's bared neck. John groaned and tilted his head, exposing more skin as his eyes fluttered closed. Alex laughed, low and dirty, his good hand slowly inching John's boxers awkwardly over the curve of his ass. "Alex, please."

"Please what, Johnny?" Alex laved his tongue over the place in his neck where John could feel his pulse throbbing.

"Don't," John whispered, his shoulders straining to pull his hands free.

Alex licked the same spot once again before speaking. "You don't mean that." He thrust hard, once, the denim of his jeans abrading John's bare ass. "Do you?"

"Yes, I do." John jerked his shoulders again, harder, fighting to get free, his legs kicking uselessly at the sheets, unable to build up any force with Alex's weight holding him down. "Stop it."

"Why, Johnny?" Alex asked, his voice gravelly.

"I can't do this. I can't." John could hear the desperation in his own voice, and it shamed him a little.

"No, not 'can't'. You just haven't." Alex thrust again, his hard cock rubbing against John's cleft.

"I don’t want to!"

"So you think you won't like it? Is that it, John?" Are you afraid that I'll hurt you, make you bleed?" John gasped, feeling Alex's heated words go straight to his cock. Alex thrust again, lazily, knees rocking back and forth over John's wrists. All of Alex's weight pressed him down into the bed now. "Or are you afraid that you'll like it?" Alex's tongue moved over John's throat again, teeth nipping lightly at the pulse point. "You know I'll make you love it, don't you?" Another long, slow, hot lick, this one with just the barest hint of teeth. "I've made you love everything I've done to you, haven't I, John? In five minutes I can have you panting, begging for me to fuck you." The lick this time was punctuated with a harder bite, teeth scraping over skin. "Is that what you're so afraid of, John?"

John groaned, his hips moving under Alex's, rubbing his hard cock into the sheets, and his ass against Alex's crotch. "Yes, dammit!" He ground out through clenched teeth. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Alex sank his teeth into the side of John's throat, worrying at the skin to mark him. One more hard thrust against John's ass, then Alex's weight was gone as the other man rolled off of him.

John quickly rolled over onto his back, jerking the sheet over his bare hips. He flexed his hands repeatedly, trying to get the blood moving in them again. Alex's weight had cut off the circulation. Alex's eyes were dark, his face unreadable. There was so much about this man that John didn't understand.

"Alex, you know that up until that night in the alley I'd never even touched another man like that."

"You were attracted." It sounded like an accusation to John's ears.

"I was. To you, and to other men before you. But you don't you understand."

Alex reached out with his good hand, tracing the side of John's face with his leather-covered fingers. "I know. You think I don't, but I do. I know how terrified you are. I know how you dread the nights I show up here." His voice dropped as his eyes darkened. "But you love it too, don't you, Johnny?" Alex leaned closer, until John could feel his hot breath on his lips. "You love it when I make you beg, when I call you a slut, when I hurt you…" Alex shifted over a little, licking slowly up the curve of John's throat, tracing the still throbbing bruise there. "You love it when I make you my whore."

John gasped again, his whole body shuddering. He couldn't seem to control himself when Alex was involved. He became someone he didn’t recognize when he was with Alex. He found himself doing whatever Alex asked of him. Begging for it. Loving it. He sometimes felt like nothing was real; like he was breathing underwater when they were together. Alex made him feel wanton, eager to please, made him enjoy both the pain and the pleasure. And when Alex looked at him like he was something he wanted to devour whole John basked in it. He loved every minute of it. But he hated it, too.

Alex made him feel like a whore.

John didn't realize he'd been staring at Alex's face until the other man sighed and ducked his head, eyes locking on the bedspread. "John, if you ask I won’t come back. You know that." Alex looked up and there was something infinitely sad on his face. "Regardless of what it seems like at times, this isn't about hurting you, or about me fucking up your life. This started months ago because we could forget for a while. So we could feel. If it's not working, then it's not."

"Alex... I don’t want you to leave. I don't want this to stop. I just want you to cut me some fucking slack!"

Alex stood, and John realized for the first time that the other man was still completely dressed except for his jacket and boots. "That's just it, John. It can't be like that. It's got to be all or nothing here. My life is too fucking short for me to screw around. I'll go if you don’t think you can do this."

John reached out and grasped Alex's right wrist before he could retreat. "I do want this. I want you." John pulled Alex back down to sit next to him. "But the things you make me feel… for a lot of years I thought those feelings would make me less of a man."

"But they don't." Alex pressed his leather-covered hand flat on John's bare chest, right over his pounding heart. "Now or never, John. Yes or no."

John took a deep breath, fighting his inner voice one last time. But it was useless, and he knew it. "Yes. Yes, Alex."

The predatory smile that John had come to know so well spread across Alex's mouth, his white teeth bared. John was suddenly sure he'd made the right decision. For better or worse, even if Alex destroyed him. Even if John burned to a cinder, it would be worth it to feel like this; to feel this much.

Alex reached for something in his pocket and pounced, the weight of his body pushing John's back flat onto the bed. His first instinct was to bare his throat to this predator. So he did, and then moaned out loud when Alex's sharp teeth raked across his collarbones, nibbling on the outcroppings of bone. As Alex's teeth tormented him, John was barely aware of Alex's hand grabbing his wrists and pulling them to lay flat on the bed on either side of his hips. With a satisfied grunt, Alex snapped cold metal cuffs around his right hand, then jerked the hand over John's head to loop the cuff through the headboard. By the time John had opened his mouth to protest, his other hand was just as trapped.

John tilted his head back to look at the cuffs binding him to the headboard before casting a pissed off look at Alex. The other man shrugged. "This way, even if you change your mind…" Alex lay over John's body, their hips lining up so that their cocks rubbed together. "I can still do anything I want to you."

John just lay there, stunned. It took him about thirty seconds to process that he wasn't afraid, but aroused. He was completely at Alex's mercy now. Alex could do anything he wanted. Hurt him, fuck him, and there was nothing John could do about it. John groaned, surprised at the electric current that went through his body at the thought.

Alex smiled that same deadly smile and lowered his mouth to John's throat again. By the time those same teeth and tongue went to work on one of John's nipples, he was panting; his hands wrapped tightly around the headboard.

Alex lifted his head to look at the drugged out expression of bliss on John's face. "That's it, baby," He whispered. "Let go." Then Alex lowered his hot mouth back to John's raw nipples. When Alex's talented tongue was alternately gently rimming and stabbing into John's navel the only sound in the room was John's panting and his heated moans. As Alex's leather-clad hand closed around John's cock, the moans changed to a low keening noise. Then Alex's mouth replaced his hand, and the keening sound began to form unintelligible words. John thrust up with his hips, gasping as he felt his cock slip deep into Alex's throat. The other man took it, moving with John's hips to take him even deeper. Low growls could be heard from Alex's mouth as John fucked it.

Alex's hand, still covered in flesh-warmed leather, slid up the inside of John's sweaty thighs. The leather surrounded John's balls, gently rolling them in their sack as John felt Alex's finger nudge against his hole.

As the finger slipped in, John cried out Alex's name and began to thrust his hips faster. The motion forced his cock even deeper into Alex's hot mouth, then back onto his finger, so John was fucking himself on it. "Alex!"

The other man let John's cock slip from his lips just long enough to speak; his lips red and swollen. "Let go, John. Give it to me." His eyes locked onto John's. "You know you want to." Then he bent forward, taking John's cock back into his mouth, into his throat, swallowing around it as he pushed his finger in deeper, rubbing across John's prostate.

John did scream then, long and loud, his voice breaking as he came. "Yes!" He yelled, his hands tightening on the headboard as his hips thrust up.

Alex lay down next to John, his red lips still spread in that predatory smile, surveying the wreck of a man next to him. John looked at him, panting, feeling as though his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He'd never felt better. But, as he caught the heated look in Alex's eyes, he knew that he'd feel even better when Alex fucked him.

John gradually recovered, his panting slowing to the occasional hitch in his measured breathing. John leaned closer, straining the chain on the cuffs as he fought to get close enough to kiss the other man. Alex finally took pity on him and pressed their lips together. When he finally let John's mouth go both men were panting.

Alex stood slowly, his eyes never leaving John's as he began to undress. He showed himself off shamelessly, pinching his own nipples hard before sliding his leather-covered hand down over his flat stomach to the fly of his jeans. As he released the zipper Alex's cock was visible, hard and red. Alex pushed the jeans down his legs and off before fisting his own cock in his leather covered hand.

"John…" Alex ground out, slowly moving his hand down his length.

Without conscious thought John nodded, agreeing to any and everything this man asked of him. "Fuck me." John whispered, his eyes still on Alex's cock. John longed to reach out and touch his own reawakening cock, but all he could do was watch.

Alex growled, his teeth barred as he fell on top of John. Both men groaned aloud at the first touch of bare skin on bare skin. Alex's teeth nipped John's shoulders and chest, leaving little red marks that would darken to bruises by tomorrow. "Turn over." Alex whispered into his skin.

John did, not surprised when the chain between the cuffs tightened, restricting his movement even more. He could feel Alex's greedy gaze move over his ass like a caress as he heard a lid snap open. The cold gel that was poured into the hollow at the base of his spine surprised him enough that John hissed. "Sorry." Alex murmured under his breath. Leather covered fingers traced a path on John's skin as they gathered some lube up.

One finger entered John, amazing feeling and hot and slick and rough from the leather covering. Then two, and John began to hump the sheets under him again. The hand withdrew for just a moment, only to return with more lube and three fingers pushed into him. John arched back with the feeling; it wasn't quite pain, but it was right on the edge of it. But then Alex rubbed across his prostate again, and all John thought was 'more'. He was shocked to hear his own voice, hoarse and ragged, fill the air. "Now, Alex! Make me yours…"

Alex bit the back of his neck deeply, and John's whole body began to shudder. "Fuck." Alex whispered into the skin where his teeth were buried. Alex's hand withdrew from John's body to clasp his waist, urging John to his knees. "That's it, baby. I told you I'd make you love it. Need it. Want it. Beg for it." The wet sound of lube being spread on skin filled the room as Alex finished preparing himself.

Alex resettled his weight on his knees, leaning against John's body for support, his wet; slick cock sliding up John's cleft, making him whimper. When John became aware of his voice, he wasn't surprised to find himself begging and pleading; "Please, please, please, now, Alex…" He was pushing back, trying to get more of that feeling when he heard Alex laugh again, the sound choked off into a moan as the head of his cock pressed against John's hole.

"Yes, you want it bad, don't you?" Alex whispered, his hand tightening on John's hip. "Such a whore for me." Teeth sank into the long smooth muscles of John's back in between hot words. "You're my whore, aren't you?"

Without any other warning Alex thrust forward, his hand holding John's hip tightly. John whimpered at the first thrust; the feeling was intense and different and painful. But as Alex pulled his hips back a few inches to thrust again the pain became pleasure.

Alex kept the pace slow until he was buried balls deep in John. He laid his head on John's sweaty back, breathing harshly, fighting for control. John protested the stillness by thrusting back, whimpering, his body begging for it now. Begging to be taken. Fucked. Owned.

"I told you…" Alex growled. "Such a fucking slut for this…" Alex pulled nearly completely out and thrust back in, hard enough to nearly knock John off balance. Then he thrust again. And then again; hard, fast. Growling, his teeth nipping all along John's spine. Alex gave him every inch he could, taking John hard, occasionally shuddering and slowing his pace. Making it last.

"Please…" John begged, hands gripping the headboard, fighting to stay upright. Alex thrust even harder, filling John. Shoving everything in John out and filling the emptiness with him. John could feel Alex's cock in his stomach, in his heart, in his throat.

Alex finally reached around; closing his damp leather covered hand around John's cock, barely squeezing him. With another cry John came, came so hard that his knees gave out and his eyes got blurry.

Alex followed his body down to the mattress, thrusting three more times before sinking his teeth into John's shoulder as he came. John could feel it, feel his teeth, feel his muscles jerking, feel the heat bathing him from inside.

Alex's heavy weight collapsed on John's spent body, his tongue still leisurely licking at his shoulder. John could smell the musk of their semen, and underlying it, the sweet coppery tang of blood; and he realized that it was coming from the throbbing place where Alex kept licking, lapping up the blood.

"Jesus." John murmured, another shudder working its way through his body at the thought.

"Yes." Alex murmured into John's damp skin. "I knew I could make you love it. You're such a whore for me."

They lay like that for a long time, waiting for their bodies to calm. John could feel Alex's cock shrink and slip out, and he discovered that he didn’t want that. He wanted to keep Alex inside of him forever.

Alex flopped over next to him; face down, his body still. "Alex?" John kicked him. "Alex!"

"What?" One green eye opened to look at him. John twisted his wrists, making the cuffs jingle. "Oh, sorry." Alex bent over to grab the key off of the floor and unlock the cuffs.

John groaned, rubbing at his reddened wrists. "My god," he said, rolling onto his side to face Alex.

"Yep," Alex said, his eyes closing again.

"Alex?"

The other man sighed, rolling half over to look at John. "You’d better go to sleep while you can, John." At his confused look, Alex smiled wickedly. "I can stay the whole weekend." Then he displayed the cuffs he still held in his hand. "And I think you look beautiful in these."

John groaned, closing his own eyes. His body felt used up, empty, fucked out. But alive, awake.

He was a whore. This man's whore.

And as John slipped into an exhausted sleep he briefly wondered if he'd ever get the chance to make the man next to him beg.

Artist: Everclear
Title: You Make Me Feel Like a Whore

I take your word like it was gospel
I'm so eager to please
Yeah I like it when
You talk to me
It feels so good inside your shadow
(It's the place I need to be)
Yeah I know I need to climb you
Like a tree

There is this place inside
Where all the good things die
Sometimes I feel like a whore
(Some times I feel like a Whore)

I hate the way I am around you
(I'm so nervous and weird)
Sometimes I feel like I'm
Breathing underwater
You treat me like I am on fire
Like I'm something to eat
You make me hate what I see
When I see me

Yeah I dream of the day
When I learn how to make you pay
Someday I'll teach you to beg
Someday, someday

Yes I live for the day
When I can hear you say
You make me feel like a whore
Yes I dream of the time
When I can make you mine
(Maybe then I'll feel half alive, more alive, so alive)

There is this place inside
Where all the good things die
You make me feel like a whore

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