CV Hand-Puppet Summary Parts 1-6 ~*~ Thanks to the people at http://www.kekkai.org/voices/HPT/puppet.html who concocted the whole hand puppet thing ^_^. ~*~ As we've already gone over in the intro-type thing, our story beings on pretty much sopping day in some alternate universe where Aya-chan never woke up. Hand-puppet Aya-chan: Boohoo! *runs away crying* Anyway, Ken jacks a white rose from Aya's table for a bouquet he's working on, whereupon Aya comes home and is not an indigent hamster regarding this... Hand-puppet Aya: Grrr! Hand-puppet Ken: EEEEK! ... because after all, it was meant for Aya-chan. Hand Puppet Aya-chan: *ran off* But, miraculously, no one dies and they end up spending a quiet day at the library. Aya reads poetry, Ken tries to learn about the symbolism of roses and ends up just imagining Umberto Eco strangling Camille Paglia... Hand Puppet Camille Paglia: *urk* Hand Puppet Umberto Eco: ^_^V After awhile, they do end up going home, and while stopped at a traffic light, Ken is confronted by a weird, little girl who gives him a note. [Owing to the revelations of recent events, we on Terra invite you to join us once more. In penance for our previous ignorance, tithes have been waved for you and any companions for five years time. Please come visit us at the Hyacinth Villa if the roots shake. Do not come if the leaves shake. Savil knows the way.] Which would have really freaked Aya out if he had gotten to read it. Hand-puppet Ken: *wad wad* *bunt* Instead, they both go home and have beef sukiyaki. Over beef sukiyaki, Ken attempts to explain what he had learned about roses which he considered to be tantamount to what he had learned about Aya. Needless to say, this does not work out and Ken goes upstairs. Hand-puppet Ken: ;_; Hand Puppet Aya: T_T... -_-;;;... ;_; While all this is going on, Omi and Youji WERE on their way back from a mission, but instead they end up at a teahouse where oddly enough they are spotted by a pair of little girls, one of which happens to be the one who gave Ken his note. Hand-puppet Savi: EEEEK! I'm scared *glomps Hand-puppet Fiona* After that they [the two Weiss, not the two little girls] just confess their undying love for each other and have a boffing good time on the teahouse floor. Hand-puppet Omi: YES! I get to be in the first sex scene. WAIIIIII! Go me! Go me! It's my birthday, it's my birthday. Hand-puppet Youji: *smokes* It's always the little ones... Aya eventually goes upstairs and he and Ken have a heart to heart talk. Hand-puppet Aya: Now my name is Ran. Hand-puppet Ken: Hello, Hand-puppet Ran! Hand-puppet Ran: -_-; This all ends when Ran smooches Ken and Ken tells Ran more or less that they are going to run away the next day. The next day comes! Ken and Ran make their way across Tokyo to an all girls school that gives Ran the creeps. Hand-puppet Ran: Flashbacks, flashbacks... This being after Ken gave Ran a pretty pair of ruby earrings. While this couple is having a merry time with way too many Nabocov references in it, Youji and Omi scromp on the kitchen table. Hand-puppet Youji and Hand-puppet Omi: ^_^ ...At least until Momoe comes in, sees them, faints. Hand-puppet Youji and Hand-puppet Omi: Fuck... ;_; Yes, that's the point. Well, on her way to the hospital... Hand-puppet Momoe: KYA! Okama! Atachi Ike Yo! Okaaaaaaaaama! YOU'RE BOTH FIRED AND EVICTED! I WANT YOU GONE BY THE TIME I'M OUT OF THE HOSPITAL! Our now homeless and jobless lovebirds wonder back inside, discover Ran and Ken are missing and are very sad. After being sad, however, it occurs to them that they really don't want the people at Kritiker to know they've been getting it on. In an effort to redirect any suspicions, they concoct a crazy plot which involves trashing the house. Which they do with abandon and lots of Grape Fanta. When Manx comes, they tell her Momoe saw a mouse living amidst their mess and passed out. Hand-puppet Brad: So that's what they're calling it now... You're not in this scene! Manx just sighs and books them a hotel until such time as she can find them a new place to hang out. Hand-puppet Youji: You forgot the part about her dating Birman. They drive off into the night, get to the hotel, and have a good time with some chocolate liqueur. But, actually, before that, Ken played soccer with the little girls before such time as he and Ran got to leave. Hand-puppet Ken: *is hit in the gut with a soccer ball* @_@ They left! On the way to wherever they were going, Ken breaks down, has a shivering fit when Ran touches him, and admits that he had at one time in the past, been Kaze's kept boy. Hand-puppet Ran: Now I'll never get any! Savil-sama, stop the car. Hand-puppet Savil: Can't. I'm talking to the Su-dono Hand-puppet Ran: Who the hell is that? Good question! Who the hell is the Su-dono? Well, they're the person in charge of Terra, which is where Ran and Ken went. But that's all we've been nice enough to tell you. Ran and Ken get to Terra, and Ken is promptly hijacked to go fill out papers. Hand-puppet Ran: I'm all alone! Hand-puppet Schu: No, you're not ^_^! Hand-puppet Farf: ...............hurts god. Turns out all the Schwartzy-type people are on Terra! YAY! Oh, and did we forget to mention Savil is really Schuldich's sister Saffie? Hand-puppet Ran: *runs away* Hand-puppet Saffie: ;_; But, after awhile, they all go back to their room, discuss doing grave emotional harm to Ran and Ken, Nagi leaves, Saffie follows him and Brad and Schu have kinky sex on the deck. And, instead of Ran getting to be alone and sad, he meets Herald Fiona, Saffie's difficult and mercurial companion, who decides he's not allowed to be alone. Hand-puppet Ran: Are you happy now, HERALD!? Hand-puppet Fiona: No, of course I'm not happy! I'm a nasty woman's kept girl. But, ch, I could take care of myself if I could just get away from her! Hand-puppet Ran:...you people are weird. And your feet are a mess! *hoist* Hand-puppet Fiona: WAH! Put me down! Ran takes the wounded little girl up to his hotel room, they talk about Terra and Ken. Seems everyone on Terra knows what happened between Siberian and Kaze! Yay for gossip. Oh, and they call Reiji and Shuuichi Takatori Ivan the Good Enough and Ivan the Terrible respectively. Hand-puppet Nagi: Are you ever going to do anything with that? Oh, go boink Olivier some more! Speaking of boinking, that's not what Ran and Ken do after Ken comes back to the hotel room after having had flashbacks about Kaze. Hand-puppet Ken: *brushes Hand-puppet Ran's hair* Rest of the cast (backstage): KAWAII! And then they go to bed! The next morning, Nagi gets in trouble for coming home late due to screwing Olivier, which he did, because he has lots of emotional problems and thinks he is "The Slut of Terra". Hand-puppet Nagi: ....................................... *windows in the hotel room break* Hand-puppet Saffie: I got chocolate from the Su-dono! Hand-puppet Brad: ow... my head... can't eat... damn melbatoasts... Hand-puppet Schu: Are not damn melbatoasts! They're good! *munch munch* Hand-puppet Nagi: Dude, you people are messed up -_-. Anyway, over breakfast and grounding Nagi, Schwartz decides they are going to follow Ran and Ken to another place on Terra called Valdemar, where, it seems, Ken has inherited a Hyacinth Villa. Also, it becomes pretty evident that Farfie is now Saffie's "doggie": Hand-puppet Farfarello: Yip yip! But, she can't play with him, because she has something evil to do, and leaves for earth of go do it. Meanwhile, her brother attempts to have a heart-to-heart talk with Nagi-chan, at the end of which, it becomes a pretty good thing Saffie isn't there. Hand-puppet Nagi: What's the matter, mom? Can't dad get it up for you anymore? Hand-puppet Schu: *drag drag* Oh BRAAAD! Nagi's been bad! I'm going to PUNISH HIM!!! Which they do by having an orgy in the living room in front of and involving the guys cleaning up the broken glass. *a bunch of other hand-puppets fall on top of Nagi* Hand-puppet Nagi: I...itai... While they're having a jolly good time with each other, Ken and Ran have breakfast, followed by a romantic moment than consists of showing their scars off to one another. Hand-puppet Ran: *blush* After that, they go downstairs, and are assailed. Hand-puppet Yaten: WAIIIIIII! KEN! C'mon girlfriends! Let me dress you. Hand-puppets Ken and Ran: No way in hell. They buy dresses, some other clothing, and go to the Hyacinth Villa in The Planet. Hand-puppet whores: *wave* Hand-puppet Ran: O.O... X.x. Urk. Yes! Ken is now the proud owner of a brothel! Yay... er... not. He and Aya resolve to close it down and make it into a flower shop, just like the Koneko, only bigger. Of course, to do this, they need to buy some things, namely plane tickets, which they do, alongside some gay erotica which Ran still hasn't show to Ken! Hand-puppet Ran: *blush* Ah... you forgot I got my ears pierced special again for the pretty earrings he bought me. Hand-puppet Ken: ;_; <---- is touched Meanwhile, back with Youji and Omi, they screw outside under a tree with some mayo and Omi gets to be on top. Hand-puppet Omi: Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet. Though, afterwards, he starts acting funny again. They go back inside and run into... Saffie! Who is dressed up like Asuka @_@. Hand-puppet Saffie: Hi! Hand-puppet Youji: ...BRAT! What are you doing!? Hand-puppet Saffie: Wellllll... At which she explains she knows where Aya and Ken are and offers to take them a note, all while hassling Youji horribly with her scary mind-powers. Hand-puppet Saffie: And all I had to do was tell the truth! *points to Hand-puppet Omi* He's really messed up! Hand-puppet Youji: Shuttup! ...I knew that already. Hand-puppet Omi: ;_; At which we leave them for awhile. Back on Terra, Schuldich and Brad are spending their last afternoon in the Kalm Inn apart. While Brad contemplates his past and future, Schuldich is drawing kinky pictures of Aya and burning them one by one because he thinks he's a crappy artist. Hand-puppet Schu: *great, big puppy eyes!* And you thought he was just vain! Anyway, he interrupts this to go look for a house in Valdemar for him and the rest of Schwartz to live in, and eventually decides on a great, big old church. The only problem is getting Brad to agree to it! Hand-puppet Schu: What problem? *smoooooooooch* Hand-puppet Brad: Why are you so cuddly all of a sudden? Hand-puppet Schu: Umm... oooh! Look! A blimp! Hand-puppet Brad: Where? *turns away* Hand-puppet Schu: *FLEE!* Ok, so maybe it didn't happen exactly like that, but you get the idea, and after that, Brad and Schu did end up having sex on the couch. Ken and Ran have some romantic entanglements of their own! Well... they do that after running into the owner of the Kalm in, and old friend of Ken's who thinks that he is Zack from FF7! And that Ken is Cid. Hand-puppet Ran: And now that I am Shera O.o;;; Hand-puppet "Zack": Nice ta mettcha, Shera! Ok, enough of that. Ran and Ken go for a romantic walk in the moonlight and end up having a really deep, meaningful conversation beside lake, one which ends with Ran in tears. The conversation, not the lake. Hand-puppet Ran: WAH! I'll never get any! You'll never be alright, will you? Hand-puppet Ken: Sure I will be! *tears his shirt off* *snuggles Ran* Hand-puppet Ran: ;_;!... o.o... ^___________^ Oh course, when they decide to go back inside, and Ken picks Ran up for the purpose of achieving this goal, things don't go so well. *SPLASH* Hand-puppet Ken: WAH! I'll never do anything like that again! Hand-puppet Ran: Suuuuuuure. Hey! Don't complain! You did get to take a shower with him after all! And maybe I didn't put it on the sexy-bit roster, but it was still nice and GRAPHIC. Afterwards, both are padding about the fire with nothing on (Hand-puppet Fangirls: WAI! Service! Service! Service!) and Ran is having his hair brushed again when suddenly... *knock knock* *Hand-puppets Ran and Ken scramble to find their robes* And who should be at the door but Savil! Hand-puppet Ran: Begone! You Schwartz-type spawn! Hand-puppet Ken: O.O! I didn't even know she was a telepath. Hand-puppet Saffie: But I brought you some... Hand-puppet Ran: OUT!!! So, the Herald of Ran and Ken leaves them in some semblance of peace... which happens to include a note from Omi and Youji, not to mention pictures of Youji and Omi having sex! Ooh! Fun. After getting over the shock, Ran reads Ken a bedtime story and they go to sleep. Saffie, who is secretly kinda-crushed by the Weiss's rejection of her, goes back to her room which she enters just in time to see the denouement of her Brother's last sexual exploits! Namely an orgy focusing around a tied up Nagi and a Farfie who got to be human for awhile... Hand-puppet Farfie: ........................sex hurts God. But not say anything interesting. Nagi, Schu and Saffie have conversations about yummy thoughts, Nagi makes a doll dance to amuse Savil which is very cute, and Bradley gets raving drunk, has a flashback to his days as a punk, and has to be put to bed. Speaking of being put to bed... Hand-puppet Schu: Nagi, why don't you get in Savil's bed? I bet THAT would make her happy. Hand-puppet Nagi: ... whatever. He does though, they cuddle. It is very straight and cute. That night though, not all is well and good! Ran has a terrible nightmare which causes him to go sleepwalking! Hand-puppet Personification of Ran's Woes: Mwahahaha! Fear me! I am an obscure personification of your woes! Hand-puppet ran: EEK! ............What the fuck am I doing at a dance club o_O! He runs back to his hotel room, where he falls asleep in a large armchair. Ken finds him the next morning, covers him up... err... wakes him up by accident. They talk, go out on the deck to watch the sun rise, and Ran finally manages to slip Ken some tongue! Hand-puppet Ran: YES! They have breakfast together, Ran gets really horny, Ken leaves with the dry-cleaning, Ran has a good time with himself, Ken has flashbacks, they meet up, Ran writes a note to be delivered to Omi and Youji, they leave for the airport and run into... well... a lot of people. Hand-puppet Fiona: Hi! I'm now Ran's handmaid. Hand-puppet Ran: That sucks. Hand-puppet Saffie: Hi! Ken invited me to come along because that's what Heralds do! Hand-puppet Ran: That sucks trucks. Hand-puppets Schu and Brad: Hi! We're coming with you on the plane and we're wearing scandalously skimpy Alice in Wonderland costumes. Hand-puppet Ran: That sucks big monster trucks!!! Hand-puppet Brad: *frenches Ken* Hand-puppet Ken: ;_; But, everyone does manage to get onto the plane. While there, Ken gets really upset and accidentally fights with Ran. They both have long, complicated flashbacks. Life with Schwartz is not nearly so complicated! Brad and Schu decide to make a game out of trying to seduce Aya and Ken! Fun! Then they have sex... again. Hand-puppet Schu: Just re-affirming our membership in the mile high club! Everyone lands in Valdemar, shaken, but not stirred to anything really great or violent. We cut back to Tokyo! Where Omi and Youji have just moved into their new apartments... which are also above a flower shop where they will be working. Hand-puppet Omi: And my window is on the wrong wall! I'll never get used to it! Hand-puppet Youji: Would you rather go for ice cream that worry about it? Hand-puppet Omi: *tears out the door* *slams into someone* Hand-puppet Yuuji: 'ello! 'ello! I'm Honjyou Yuuji, called Knight! Call me Yuuji-chan and you die. I'm your new partner, transferred in from another assassin group. There's going to be a lot of unresolved sexual tension between me and you for awhile. Let's be friends! Hand-puppet Omi: Umm... OK! Nice to meet you ^_^. This is Youji, he and I are screwing. Hand-puppet Youji: Mwahahaha! It's true! YU~JI~CHAN~! Hand-puppet Yuuji: Bring me back some ice cream, kay? They do! Youji, after a week, finally realizes he is not his man-vampy self and freaks out. Omi buys several thousand yen worth of comic magazines. Back at the Koneko... Hand-puppet Yuuji: Wow! Hey, why don't you come sit with me and we can get some of that unresolved sexual tension over with. Hand-puppet Omi: Oooh! Sounds like a lark. Lets! Hand-puppet Yuuji: Your presence intrigues me, both because you also think Kenshin and Sano are a cute couple, and because you're very young. Hand-puppet Omi: I have no memory of being any younger. *Omi Eyes* Hand-puppet Yuuji: That saddens me because unlike you, I HAVE memories. And of a roommate of mine names Sugihara- a boy I was desperately in love with, but never confessed my feelings to. I don't tell you about the feelings, just that I ended up in Kritiker because of him. I also leave out the part that my quest for Sugihara-based revenge will continue to-night. Hand-puppet Omi: You're telling me now! And let me just say, it sucks. Thank goodness it isn't night! *The sun promptly sets* Hand-puppet Omi: o.o;;; Fear now, Omi-kun! For under cover of night shall you have quality alone time with Youji! Hand-puppet Youji: *smokes* They go out for Italian food, bring it back to the apartment, and Youji gets Omi drunk! Whereupon Omi says many philosophical things. While he is drunk and saying philosophical things, Yuuji runs into someone. Hand-puppet Masato: OW! Hand-puppet Yuuji: What are you doing here!? Hand-puppet Masato: Well, like Omi, I'm here to have unresolved sexual tension with you. However, I am much older and jaded so the relationship will be completely different. Hand-puppet Yuuji: I find that cool! And not just because you're from the same shady Kritiker branch as me! *heartmark* And we finally get to some quality killing time! The two Crashers break into the estate of a man known only as Uekiya. They find him! He and Yuuji exchange witty banter. Hand-puppet Uekiya: You're gay, aren't you? Hand-puppet Yuuji: You bet your... hey! Where's the ring!? Hand-puppet Uekiya: *shrugs* Hand-puppet Yuuji: *SQUEEZE* Hand-puppet Uekiya: X.X <---- Is quite dead. Hand-puppet Masato: it's dangerous! Let's go so I can take your wounded body back to the Koneko so I can buss you one before vanishing into the shadows. The two assassins arrive back in time to be the only witnesses to the yelling and screaming going on during Omi and Youji's hot living-room-carpet sex! Well... besides Higurashi-san's bunny slippers. Hand-puppet bunny slippers: *BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUUUM* It's morning again! Omi goes down into the shop to find Yuuji working already despite his being wounded. While he chases him upstairs and insists on rebandaging his injuries, Youji takes the door between his and Omi's apartment down. Hand-puppet Yuuji: All while being quite blissfully unaware of the UST in here! Enough with the UST already! You've reached your quotient for this part, how about one of you go digs up some naughty doujinshi and shows it to the other for some giggle factor i nstead? Hand-puppet Omi: Gotcha *runs off* Hand-puppet Youji: *pad pad* *smokes* Ne, Yuuji-chan, you wouldn't be having UST in here with Omi, would you? Hand-puppet Yuuji: Not as such, whyyyyy ^_^? Hand-puppet Omi: I'm back! And I brought a trinket of one of our team-mates. Hand-puppet Aya's Katana: I have a tiger at one end of my blade! I'm special! Hand-puppet Yuuji: You belong to my former teammate Ran! Another person I had unresolved sexual tension with long ago! Yuuji and the two remaining Weiss proceed to bond over teriyaki chicken bits. Post bonding, Omi and Youji arrange flowers in the shop for awhile. But all is not well in Tokyo! Hand-puppet Mitsuki: Hey Youji! You knocked me up! Did you know that? Hand-puppet Youji: Did not... Hand-puppet Mitsuki: Did so! A cat fight ensuing following Mitsuki-san's attempt to put Omi's hand down her pants, at the end of which, Omi is nowhere to be found! Oh no! Especially because... End CV Hand-puppet Summaries 1-6.