Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. Never will. Duh?

()()()()()

Ever felt like you don't quite fit? Well, sure, we all have at one point or another. But I'm not talking about the feeling when you move to a town and don't know anyone. No, the feeling I'm thinking of is after you've met everyone, made friends, lived there for two or three or ten years... and still feel alone.

It's a feeling like you don't belong here, like you should move on. Like every dream you've ever dreamed took place somewhere else, and you really should go to that place. Except you don't know where it is.

Ever felt like something was missing? Or maybe, all of you was there, but you just didn't know it yet? Like, you wake up one morning and start to have a conversation with yourself. Still half asleep, mind you. But then you wake up fully and realize that you're just one person, and somehow that feels wrong.

Ha! I miss myself...

Really, I do. Ever heard the old saying about not realizing how much you love something until it's gone? Well, believe it.

I can hear you all shaking your heads in pity now. 'Poor little Ryou,' you're all saying. 'He's clearly lost it.' Maybe I have. But I can tell you one thing, I miss Bakura more then anything else in the world. Yes, he beat me. He tormented me. He abused me. But he cared. He really did. Under the hard heart and even harder head, he really cared.

And I cared too.

If you looked at me now, nearly a year after Bakura's second death, you'd probably wonder who I was. Against all logic, almost everything about me has changed. My hair is darker, almost a solid lavendar now. My eyes? Gray-green. No longer the muddy brown that Bakura complained was so plain. I'm taller and thinner. Why have I changed so much?

Want to know what I think? I think it's because Bakura's gone. He didn't take on my appearence when we bonded; I took on his. The hair, the eyes... I have pictures of me from before I got the Ring (or at least, I did. I suppose they're still at tou-san's house somewhere). Sure enough, my eyes are green and my hair shows signs of purple-ness. But after tou-san gave me the Ring, I turned pale. My hair bleached out. I turned into Bakura, he didn't turn into me.

But most of all, now, are the scars, or rather lack of them. Not a scar can be found, anywhere about me. Not the whip marks across my back, the knife slashes that crossed my arms, the burn marks on my chest. Nothing. At least, nothing Bakura gave me.

All the scars I've given myself these past two years are as clear as the sky. Slit wrists, slashed arms, burned legs... How many times have I tried to follow Yuugi? How many times have I tried to find myself again... How many times have I failed...?

And the truth is... I miss him. I love him. I want my Bakura back.

Not love in the way today's society sees it. I'm not gay, come on! That'd be gross, lusting after (essentially) myself. Yeah right. I love him the way they loved in ancient Egypt. My brother, my soulmate, my other half. I'd do anything to get him back. Anything at all.

Anything...

And there is a way.

There's hope yet.

I'd do anything to have Bakura back, but the price is high...

Another dark to take the place of mine in hell, so I can rescue him.

Only one other dark...

But I can't kill the dark without killing the light.

I could simply wait until I fade, until I die away. Then I'd have Bakura by my side once again. Can I wait that long?

Or would I kill Malik and his yami, just to get my own self back?