SHC Thermophile Interview By: Reloaded Squirrel
Jarrod: And today, we have the Thermophile from the SHC Army!
(The SHC Thermophile looks kinda skittish, shaking with dilated eyes)
Jarrod: Uh? You ok?
Thermo: e-e-e-e--e-ee--e-e-ee--e-e-e!!!!! (His eyes widen and his feet start thumping the floor rapidly)
Jarrod: Um... (He looks around the room, and sees that the coffee glass jug is empty) Hey! Did you drink the set's coffee?!
Thermo: EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! (Jumps out of his chair, bouncing off the walls like they're rubber.) WHEEEEEEE!!!! (Almost knocks Jarrod off his chair)
Jarrod: Hey! Watch it! Security! (A security guard comes out, and tranquilizes the hyper Thermophile with a dart.)
(Some time later...)
Jarrod: Sigh... ok. Today, as I said, we have the Thermophile from the SHC army, who is NOT hyper.
(The Thermophile is strapped in his chair)
Thermo: Oy... my head....
Jarrod: So, what do you think of this war?
Thermo: Eh. Nothing special in my mind.
Jarrod: Really. Hmm. Why is your weapon of choice the Sinurator anyway?
Thermo: I like fire, what can I say? Most of those Tediz are easy to burn too! Except for the Demolishers. They're not easy to kill. When im bored on the battle field, I usually taunt the Tediz by screaming out "Ha! Take this! You want some of this! Kiss my @$$!" kind of thing. Also, "come out to play" or "eenie meenie miney mo.... catch a Tedi by his toe..."
Jarrod: Does it work?
Thermo: Sometimes. Usually I either get killed by my partners, or a really crafty Sneeker or Demo's rockets.
Jarrod: Oh I see. Good thing for those spawners huh?
Thermo: Yea. Very good thing that- AAAH MY HEAD!
Jarrod: Well, next time don't drink the coffee. Too much caffeine will rot your brain ya know. Ah who am I kidding? I’m not paid to lecture crazy squirrels. (Leaves)
Thermo: Uh, I’m still tied up.
(Interview All Tied Up)
Mr. Scarecrow Birdy Interview #2 By: Dylan
Jarrod: Hey all you peoples! And Happy Holidays! Today we have Birdy...
Birdy doesn’t show up.
Jarrod: I said; TODAY WE HAVE BIRDY...!
Birdy appears!
Birdy: Ummmm...Hi. Uh, *burp* Uhng...*cough*
Jarrod: What the heck...Are you drunk again Birdy?!!
Birdy: No, it's just that...I drank too much eggnog.
Jarrod: Sure. Whatever. Anywho, did you like helping Conker?
Birdy: Uh...no!
Jarrod: Why?
Birdy: He was kinda annoying. You know, always asking me for help
and I don't know what the @#$% to do. Like that. Very annoying.
Jarrod: Annoying? How dare you! I've heard people call Conker cuddly, cute,
furry, and even adorable, but when you call him annoying, you have crossed
the line...probably.
Jarrod whacks Birdy with a piece of wood.
Birdy: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWEEEE!!!!
Jarrod: Ok, moving on…..
Birdy: No way! I'm not staying here any longer! See ya, @#$%head.
Jarrod :I heard that!
Interview Whacked!
Tediz Demolisher Interview By: Dylan
Jarrod: Hey everybody! Today we have the Tediz Demolisher.
TD:Mm...Who you be?
Jarrod: Why, I'm Jarrod.
TD: If you don't give me cookie, I blow you up.
Jarrod: OK, OK, Jesus!
Jarrod runs to the kitchen to get a cookie.
Jarrod: Here's you #%@*ing cookie.
TD: You no swear at me, b@$&#!*!
Jarrod: What do you think of Conker?
TD: He blow my Commander's legs off.
Jarrod: You mean Von Kriplespac?
TD: Yep. (Takes a bite of his cookie)
Interview trapped in the cookie jar
SHC Demolisher Interview By: Reloaded Squirrel
Jarrod: We got another treat for you viewers today! The SHC Demolisher!
Demo: Hello
Jarrod: So, Mr. Demolisher, what do you think about this war?
Demo: It fun.
Jarrod: Fun?
Demo: Yeah. Blowing things up lots of fun! hahaha!
Jarrod: But, death isn't too fun though.
Demo: Yes it is with Bazooka! Batches away see that @!#$er explode!
Jarrod: Is it true that you have anger issues?
Demo: Me get mad? Yea sometimes... Go in Berserk mode! Pound Tedi skulls!
Jarrod: I see… What makes you mad?
Demo: Uh..... I dunno... uh.... AAAH!!! (Goes Berserk) ME SMASH! (Smashes everything in sight)
Jarrod: OH @#$%! (Runs away)
Interview pounded
Batula Interview #2 By: Julie Riley
Jarrod: Hi, Jarrod here. Here again with the infamous
Bat Squirrel, Count Batula.
Batula: You're vorse zan Nack and my grandson combined.
Jarrod: Okay...anyway, this time I'm interviewing you
for the fics you've been working on.
Batula: Ah yes, ze scripted format stories...sometimes, it's better zan novelized form.
Jarrod: Yes, now can you tell us what you think of the
revamped version of Sonic Underground 2: Conker
Chronicles, now renamed Live & Reloaded?
Batula: At first, I didn't vanted to be part of no
stupid remake...but vhen I saw ze script of vhen I had
more scenes in the fic, I vas surprised...surprised
enough to drink gallons of blood.
Jarrod: Which reminds me...how can you retain your
muscular form in your normal mode while in bat form, you get fat?
Batula: *angrily* Enough! Who are you to criticize me
and my ancestors, whose blood runs in zese veins!
You're not a noble birth, and never vill be!
*recovers quickly*
Batula: Prey, accept my apologies...vhenever I talk
about my ancestors...I get somevhat touchy.
Jarrod: I understand...families...anyway, about the
upcoming Sonic Underground fics, can you tell us
anything about it?
Batula: I only make cameos in ze Remake of Sonic
Underground as vell as some of ze Crocbot Saga and ze
Sonic Adventure adaption...but I vill assure you, I
shall return in ze Sonic Adventure 2 Adaption.
Jarrod: Wow...and who is this author?
Batula: It is a female, a vonderful female who has
shown me ze light...her name is Julayla.
*Hears banging on the door*
Batula: Ugh! $#!*! Ze villagers again...zis could be
your lucky night, Jarrod. I vas gonna kill you and
drink your blood, but now it looks as though I'll be
needing your help. Prey, come here.
Jarrod: Uh, I'll just be going-
Batula: I said "Come here!"
*Later*
Batula: Now, you know your mission...correct?
*Squeaks*
Batula: Ah yes, I forgot, you can only speak like vhat
you are...a bat...a not so-good looking one in fact.
*Interview Dismissed*
Interview With SHC Grunt By: Reloaded Squirrel
Jarrod: And we have with us today, a Grunt from the SHC army! Tell me, how did this war make you feel in the last few months?
SHC Grunt: Well, it s-sucks.
Jarrod: Why is that? I thought that you'd be the type that would be hardened from combat, an emotionless killing machine!
SHC Grunt: Huh? Oh, You'd th-think so, but this war makes one...... uh.... paranoid.
Jarrod: Paranoid?
SHC Grunt: Yeah, Shoes.
Jarrod: Shoes? You mean Sneekers?
SHC Grunt: Yeah. They can cloak ya know. Y-you wont even see them coming, especially when you don't have Radar.
Jarrod: Oh I see. Do you know Conker?
SHC Grunt: Yea, I-I k-know him. King of al-l-l the land isn't that rig-ht?
Jarrrod: Yep. He de-throned the panther king in 2001.
SHC Grunt: Huh. I didn't k-know thaaaaaat. hic...
Jarrod: Are-are you drunk?
SHC Grunt: Im 21! I can-can handle a few beers! Hic...You ain't my mummy! You just don't think I should drink, because I am a S-Squirrel!
Jarrod: Hey now, I don't want any-
SHC grunt: Oh shut up ya fat retarded r-racist! If you were d-drunk I’d kick my ass! (Falls off his chair and passes out)
Jarrod: Maybe I’ll talk to you when your not drunk. (Jarrod takes the Grunt's wallet, snickers to himself and runs off)
Interview Passed Out
Hay Bot Interview By: Dylan
Jarrod: Hey Hay Bot!
Hay Bot: Ummm...Who the buff are you?
Jarrod: I'm Jarrod from Conker's Crib!
Hay Bot: Buff you!
Jarrod: Thank you. What do you think of the new Conker?
Hay Bot: He blow me up!
Jarrod: Right. Moving on...sooo, Do you like Conker?
Hay Bot: Buff Nooooooo!!!!
Jarrod: Ok, fans, this is the first time ever I’m going to swear in an Interview, so, get ready to be offended or maybe just laugh.
Jarrod: Hay Bot, you are a biotch!!!
Hay Bot: Buff you a$$hole!!!
Interview Buffed Up…
Fajo The Money Interview #2 By: Dylan
Jarrod is stuck in traffic trying to get to his Interview.
Jarrod: This is #$@%ing unbelievable!
Light turns green.
Jarrod: Finally!
*At the Interview scene, where Fajo the money sits alone*
Fajo: Hello? Anybody here? I'm scared!!
Jarrod come through the front door and scares Fajo.
Fajo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Jarrod: Relax, it's just me, Jarrod.
Fajo: You big son of a #$%@, I'll $%^ $%&, $#!@!
Jarrod: Thank you, but I'm afraid we don't have time for the Interview, now. Sorry.
Fajo: No INTERVEIW!!?? You mother f…….
Interview sadly ended...
Great Mighty Poo Interview #2 By: Dylan
Jarrod: Hello again! We have The Great Mighty Poo.
Great Mighty Poo: It was a bit of corn off the cobb getting here.
Jarrod: Oh...I'm sorry to hear that.
Great Mighty Poo: I say, do you happen to have some sweet corn? Cause I am hungry.
Jarrod: Yep, sure I do. (Devilish laugh)
Jarrod pulls out some toilet paper and whips it into The Great Mighty Poo's mouth.
Great Mighty Poo: (Coughing like crazy)
Great Mighty Poo: You #$%@ing little prick!!!!!!!!
Jarrod: Such fowl language. Tisk, tisk tisk.
Great Mighty Poo: You can't boss me around! I am the King Of Crappiness!!!!!!
Great Mighty Poo: I'll sing it!
Jarrod: Oh god Noooo! Please Don't!!!
Interview quickly dismissed!
Carl/Quentin Interview By: Dylan
Jarrod: Today we have Carl...and Quentin
Carl: Hey, #$%@head! Wasssaaaap?
Jarrod: ...uh...no...thing.
Carl: That's all ya gotta say, #$%@- for- brains?!
Jarrod: Yep.
Carl: You have a funny name. Jarrod Cox! Tee hee!
Jarrod: Thank you.
Jarrod flips over Carl to reveal Quentin.
Quentin: My, you are quite the handsome one.
Jarrod: Your gay.
Carl manages to flip back over.
Carl: You little #$@%!
Jarrod: Thank you again.
Carl: Don't you ever do that again or else I'll $#%@ you up so bad, you'll be crying!!!
Interveiw #$@%ed up!
Professor Von Kriplesac Interview #3 By: Dylan
Jarrod: Hey folks. We have Kriplespac here again.
VK: Vonce a $%#@ing gain.
Jarrod: Soooooo...How did you loose your legs, again?
VK: Muzt I keep anzwering zis $%#@ing question?!!?
Jarrod: OK, OK, sorry!
VK: Sorry!!??!?? I vill ztrap you to ze Giant Gun Of Doom and fire it!!!!!!!!
Jarrod: Yikes.
Interveiw fired!
Conker Interview #2
Jarrod: Hello, I'm Jarrod; you might know me from Conker's Crib and many other boards I go to. It has been a while since Conker's Bad Fur Day, but today this character himself has come here today to tell us about the new Conker. The one and only...CONKER!
Conker: Hey, folks, yeah, I know I’m great. Oh, I knew it was too good to be true.
Jarrod: Conker, thank you very much for coming in.
Conker: *Drinks beer* Well, it was an effort, but ok.
Jarrod: We have heard a lot about the old Conker, what do you think about the new one?
Conker: It's great! As you know, me and the characters were going to be on Game Cube. But Microsoft took over from Rare.
Jarrod: What do you think of the way you look now?
Conker: Well, I am older, I must admit, yes, but I love being apart of the game.
Jarrod: So what more can you tell us about the new game?
Conker: Well....I loved the script.....they always knew me as someone who was drunk and called me in. I absolutely love been apart of the game. I meet lots of new friends. Except for Zer professor, he wanted me killed. I liked it in the last game. It wasn't really part of the script. But I still enjoyed it. Except for when I had to say stupid things. That was so $#@!*&$ annoying.
Jarrod: So what more....
Conker: Can't tell you...wait for another few more months and you'll see for sure.
Jarrod: Ok, there's the info from Conker himself! Thank you very much, Conker!
Conker: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Oh well I’m going to work, somebody's gotta put updates on your site and earn money somehow. *Drinks beer*
Interview Dismissed
Professor Von Kriplesac
Jarrod: Hey, everybody! It's me Jarrod here! And today we have the Professor here! Thanks for coming in!
The Nutty Professor: Hey, Everybody! Where’s that candy bar? Woo I’m hungry, I could eat a whole turkey about right now.
Jarrod: Wait, you're not the Professor from Conker.
Nutty Professor: Oh, him! He's on holiday!
Jarrod: Pleasure doing business with you! We'll go there.
Zer Professor: YES!!! BURN DUCT TAPE! BURN YOU LITTLE ****!
Jarrod: Hello, Professor.
Zer Professor: What the ****?! Who are you?
Jarrod: I'm Jarrod from Conkerscrib!
Zer Professor: I zee! Get zose cameras off me!
Jarrod: So, Professor what do you think of the new Conker?
Zer Professor: It vas quite good. I ended up coming back to life! I
loved vein in charge of zose Tediz! Ohh I love them, there like me little childrenz. YES Ze Power of zem compellz youuss!
Jarrod: What do you think of Rare being with Microsoft?
Zer Professor: Zose little bastardz pay me less money now! But who cares? I enjoy been de a the bad guy! I get free cookies too! So that $%#@ is fine with me.
Jarrod: Did u enjoy having legs this time?
Zer Professor: Not really......I vreally loved been lazy...but they wanted me off my big fat lazy arse I guess.
Jarrod: Do you enjoy being with the Panther King again?
Zer Professor: Not really...in real life he's an old fat guy with no brains. But he did chop off my legs methinks, so I’ll thank him for that! Now if you'll excuse me mr...verhh....Jarrod Cox! Ha-ha what a funny name. I have unfinished businesz!
Jarrod: That's the Professor ladies and gentlemen!
Zer Professor: BURN YOU EVIL DUCT TAPE! *Duct tape burns* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Ha-ha Jarrod Cox! Zat is such funny name, you should be in game. You look funny as $#@% too!
Jarrod: Well thank you very much.
Zer Professor: Velcome you stupid $#@%
Interview Ductaped Up!
Gregg The Grim Reaper Interview #2
Jarrod: Hello everybody! It's me Jarrod with you again! Today we are having Gregg the Grim Reaper with us today! Gregg the Grim Reaper, thank you so much for coming in.
*Gregg's head is upside down*
Gregg: Yeah, well it was a bit of a ******* effort!
Jarrod: So what do you think of the new Conker?
Gregg: I hate it!
Jarrod: Why?
Gregg: I suppose I kinda like it. The directors always put me with Cats. That's all they think I’m useful for!
Jarrod: What about the graphics and the new script? You like any of it?
Greg: Yes…. It was great. Except cats, I hate those things! Understand?
Jarrod: Ummm...well sounds a bit strange, but ok.
Gregg: It's the best bloody deal you're going to get you little...ummm...big prick!
Jarrod: Right. Well...I’ll be off then. Thanks, Gregg.
Gregg: Just you wait, smart ass! You don't get out of it that easy!
Jarrod: But I need to feed my cats and work on Conker’s Crib.
Gregg: Ok, fine, tell the cats I sent my regards. Now Piss Off!
Interview Dead or Something like that
Mrs. Queen Bee
Jarrod: Today we have Mrs. Queen Bee, Mr. King Bee’s wife
Mrs. Bee: Why hello there my good man
Jarrod: Hey Mrs. Bee how’s the hive?
Mrs. Bee: Well it um…it’s gone again
Jarrod: Again? I thought Conker got it back?
Mrs. Bee: He did, it’s my fault this time
Jarrod: Oh really? What happened?
Mrs. Bee: Well that no good husband of mine ran off with that sunflower on holiday.
Jarrod: Oh that can’t be good
Mrs. Bee: No it’s not good, it’s dreadful
Jarrod: So anyway where’s the hive?
Mrs. Bee: I had to sell it on the black market, because I lost all my savings thanks to Mr. Squirrel and his money wants.
Jarrod: So what are you going to do now?
Mrs. Bee: Well I don’t really know, but as soon as I loose some weight I’m finding me a new King Bee and I’m going to show that no good cheater slob husband of mine.
Jarrod: Yeah what’s the worst that could happen?
Mrs. Bee: Here’s to a new year, let’s hope its better too.
(Suddenly Windmill falls down on top of Mrs. Bee)
Mrs. Bee: Oh dear me, I’m stuck please help me oh goodness me.
Jarrod: Well I guess I better get going...
Mrs. Bee: Wait please, I need help, I think my wing just popped off!
(Swarm of killer bees come flying near Mrs. Bee)
Mrs. Bee: Oh goodness me, I’m afraid that’s the end of the line. Oh well, at least I don’t have to worry about that hive.
Interview Pollinated
Jugga The Cavewoman
Jarrod: Hey Jugga
Jugga: Hello!
Jarrod: So you and Bugga break up?
Jugga: Bugga no good no more, he make Jugga cry.
Jarrod: Uh...ok
Jugga: I make him fight squirrel, he loose.
Jarrod: Yeah I know
Jugga: Conker was sweet, and cute one! (I almost sqiish him in my hand)
Jarrod: So why did you tell Conker to go?
Jugga: All cavemen laugh at me, so I go find Bugga.
Jarrod: Did you find him?
Jugga: Yeah he no happy with red squirrel one.
Jarrod: I wouldn't be happy if some bit me honey buns either!
Jugga: No No that's not what make him made!
Jarrod: What is it then?
Jugga: Shh don't tell no one...His secret
Jarrod: Oh ok lol
(A big stomp in the background)
Bugga: Ahhh who is dat!
Jarrod: Heh hello Bugga
Bugga: Errrr you again, Bugga no like you! You make Bugga angry!
Jugga: No it's ok Bugga, he friend.
Bugga: Mesa no like him! He make fun of my secret!
Jarrod: I don' know what your talking about!
Jugga: You go now, no safe here!
Bugga: Errm mesa gonna flat squishy Jarrod caca!
Jarrod: Seeya King Kong!
Interview Dismissed
Bugga The Knut
Jarrod: Hey Bugga, hows it going?
Bugga: Ermm who are you?
Jarrod: I'm a friend of Conker
Bugga: Bugga no like squirrel fudge!
Jarrod: Oh why?
Bugga: He make mes looks bad in front of Juggie.
Jarrod: Yeah he showed them your small veg.
Bugga: Errr mumm...you make Bugga very angry
Jarrod: Heh it's true though
Bugga: Shut up or Bugga squshy sqashy yous!
Jarrod: What are you gonna do fart and run after me with your bone!
Bugga: No No, I'll whoop you with me big Fangy!
Jarrod: Your Fangy??
Bugga: Oh yeah he big dinosaur! He eat you up!
Jarrod: So anyway are you and Jugga married?
Bugga: She leave me cause I no have big bone (Bugga looks down)
Jarrod: Oh so sorry to hear that (laughs)
Bugga: You no good friend! Bugga no like yous!
(Bugga jumps up and grabs his big bone)
Jarrod: Um well I've gotta run, thanks for the chat.
Bugga: You bettas runz cause Bugga no happy with yous!
Interview Dismissed
Weasel Guards
Jarrod: Hey weasel guards!
Fat Weasel: Who the bloody stinking shite are you??
Jarrod: A friend of Conker
Tall Weasel: Ah yeah that guy, he's a nice fella!
Fat Weasel: You stupid #@!$ You almost got us killed being nice to him at the toll.
Tall Weasel: Eh well I though he was an elephant! He gave good descriptions of one.
Fat Weasel: Your such a stupid arse
Tall Weasel: Why thank you, lard arse!
Jarrod: So anyway, are you related to Ze Professor?
Tall Weasel: Yes, I'm his nephew
Jarrod: Oh really?
Fat Weasel: No he's not, he's bluffing again, stupid shite.
Tall Weasl: At least I don't make a shite of my self behind a rock!
Fat Weasel: I bloody hate you!
Tall Weasel: What ever chunky butt!
Jarrod: Ok that's enough of this nonsence.
Fat Weasel: So yeah Conker is a good King now, lot better than that Panther.
Tall Weasel: Yeah that arse threatned to chop my legs off too.
Fat Weasel: (*Cough* I wish he would have *Cough*)
Tall Weasel: I heard that!
Jarrod: (Shakes his head)
Fat Weasel: So now we uh guard, the castle
Tall Weasel: Yeah he eats on the job too.
Fat Weasel: Why don't you bloody leave!
Tall Weasel: You will be leaving in a minute!
Fat Weasel: Oh why is that? You going to fight me??
Tall Weasel: No I put a laxative in your milk before the interview!
Fat Weasel: Oh bloody hell!
Jarrod: Guess I'll be going!
Tall Weasel: Bye Mr. Gorilla
Jarrod: I'm not a Gorilla, I'm a human
Tall Weasel: Oh ok then
Interview Dismissed
The Panther King
Jarrod: Hey there Mr. Panther King
Panther K: How dare you disturb me and my throne!!!!
Jarrod: I'm here for the interview, don't you remember?
Panther K: Ah yess, no fetch my milk!
Jarrod: Uh, no I'm not your servant.
Panther K: I said go get my milk!
Jarrod: Ok Ok, calmn down.
(Goes to get some Milk)
Panther K: Ahhhh much better
(Puts his milk on the table next to him)
(Milk Spills)
Panther K: ROARSS!!!
Jarrod: Heh, looks like you spilled it again!
Panther K: You shut your trap, or off with your legs!
Jarrod: Ok sorry, I was just joking Mr. Panther King.
Panther K: Cause I don't want to have to get he duct tape out again.
Jarrod: It's called Duck tape,not duct tape
Panther K: How dare you correct me! Guards!!
(Weasels run in the throne room)
Panther K: Take him away, and make his legs like the professors!
Jarrod: Me and my big mouth...
Panther K: Ahh, much better, now I have two loyal servants
Interview Chopped Up
Marvin
Jarrod: Hey Marvin
Marvin: Oh hi there!
Jarrod: Did you meet Conker?
Marvin: I sure did, very nice guy too. He gave me some cheese
Jarrod: That's good
Marvin: Do you have any cheese for me?
Jarrod: I sure do
Marvin: Could I have a piece, but not too much, I'll have gas.
(Jarrod tosses Marvin a piece of cheese)
Marvin: Umm Umm yummy yummy!
Jarrod: So what else do you do?
Marvin: Well uh....how about another piece of cheese.
Jarrod: I just gave you one
Marvin: I'm poor you see, I have to find food like a rat.
Jarrod: You are a rat!
Marvin: Not exactly, my mom is a mouse and my dad is a rat
Jarrod: So your a Rat/Mouse
Marvin: That's right, now give me some of that cheese
(Jarrod tosses some cheese to Marvin again)
Marvin: Ohhh wonderful...uh oh....
Jarrod: What's wrong?
Marvin: I think I had too much....
(Marvin's stomach growls)
Marvin: Oh $hit, I gotta gotta go.....
(marvin runs and farts)
Interview Chessed Up
Gargoyle
Jarrod: Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have gargoyle.
Gargoyle:Hello there.
Jarrod:So what did you think of conker?
Gargoyle:Well I didn`t like him at all.
Jarrod:Why?Because he`s smarter than you,braver than you and has a mind of a squirrel.
Gargoyle:I have heard enough of this crap.
Jarrod:whatever you say.Time to go and work on Conker's Crib.
Gargoyle:If you think you`re coming this way,you can think again.
Jarrod:You`re a real charmer.I just want to get past, please.
Gargoyle:No! I don`t think so.I`ve just gotten comfy.Have you ever sat on a piece of gothic architecture for 200 years? Gets right up your arse you know.I`m not moving now.
Jarrod:Well no you haven`t been sitting there for 200 years,you only just sat there on my cross-bride.
Gargoyle: Smart arse!
(Jarrod races up quickly and whacks him with his frying pan).
(Gargoyle slips off Jarrod`s cross-bridge and lands in a disgusting gulley full of shite)
Interview Gargoyled
King Bee
Jarrod: Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have King Bee.Thanks for taking the time to come in and stop your appointment.
King Bee:No prob,buddy.( one of his legs falls off.)
Jarrod:So that`s why you had to go to an appointment.Anyway What did you think of conker?
King Bee: He was a good little fella, helped me out a lot.
Jarrod: In what way?
King Bee: Helping me get other women instead of Mrs. Bee. The old fat fart.
Jarrod: Really well next time when I see conker I`ll ask him if he can help with that, I need a new one very soon, I`m running out of them.
(Jarrod walks over to King Bee to give him a hand with his wing)
(Mrs. Bee walks in thinking that King Bee is kissing Jarrod)
(She runs away crying)
King bee: Wait! Wait! Wait, honey come back! It`s not what you think.
Interview Flown Away
Mr. Barrel
Jarrod: Today we have Mr. Barrel, the guy in the barrel.
Mr. Barrel: Yeah that's me!
Jarrod: So what do you do all day?
Mr. Barrel: I roll you know!
Jarrod: Oh really?
Mr. Barrel: Yeah I roll
(Mr. Barrel shakes his head)
Jarrod: So do you live in that barrel?
Mr. Barrel: Yes I do!
Jarrod: How did you like Conker?
Mr. Barrel: He was ok, but he broke me.
Jarrod: Oh
Mr. Barrel: I always come back though
Jarrod: That's just dandy
Mr. Barrel: Yeah, hey um you wanna go for a ride?
Jarrod: No that's ok
Mr. Barrel: Come on over here, lets go for a ride!!
Jarrod: I don't ride strangers in barrels!!!
Mr. Barrel: I'm no stranger, just a thing in a barrel.
Jarrod: Hey you wanna go for a ride?
Mr. Barrel: You bet, I wanna go for a ride!
Jarrod: Ok you'll go for a ride!
(Jarrod pushes Mr. Barrel into a river)
Interview Rolled Down!
The Great Mighty Poo
Jarrod:Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have the great mighty poo.
(the great mighty poo has his eye were his hand is and has his arm were his eye is)
great mighty poo:it was a bit of a cloggy effort.
Jarrod:So what did you think of conker?
great mighty poo:He clogged me and flushed me down the toilet.
Jarrod:(laughs quietly)that is what I definetely call a bowel movement.
great mighty poo:Are you threatening me?Iam the great mighty poo.
Jarrod:No I`m teasing you.Ha!
great mighty poo:I am the great mighty poo........
Jarrod:yes I already know who you are,why are you telling me again?You big piece of crap.
great mighty poo:And I`m going to throw my shite at you.
Jarrod:But you`re already covered in it.
great mighty poo:How about some scat you little twat?
Jarrod(Jarrod quickly throws toilet paper in his mouth and runs up to the flush zone and flushes the great mighty poo.
great mighty poo:Ah,you cursed little prick look what you`ve done I`m flushing I`m flushing,ah what a world,what a world.Who`d a thought a good little prick like you could destroy my beautiful claggines.Ah I`m going.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Jarrod:Now that`s what I call a bowel chitty bang bang moment!
Interview Cogged Up!
Jarrod:Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have the money.
Money:Hey were the **** you been?I`ve been waiting here for over 2 hours.
Jarrod:AHHA!What did you think of conker?
Money:Good friend,but very greedy.
Jarrod:Great first person I`ve met that likes conker.
(Jarrod`s stomach rumbles)OOOpppps,time for a scotch.
Jarrod:Hey the money`s gone.Can someone in the audience please tell me were it`s gone?
Barry:It`s over th...
(Makoconkerx comes in and gets in front Barry.
Makoconkerx:It`s over th...
(Now everyone in the audience is fighting)
Jarrod:Jay do you know were the money is?
Jay:Yeah!It`s up on top of the mountain.
Jarrod:Thanks
(Jarrod climbs on top of the mountain and finds the cash)
Money:Hey I`m here hurry up pick me up shitehead.
(Jarrod grabs the cash)
Jarrod:Cool,I think the rounds on me I`m gonna get tanked tonight,haha.
Interview Been Robbed!
Rodent
Jarrod Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have Rodent.
Rodent:Hi good to be here.
Jarrod:What did you think of conker?
Rodent:He was good,bestest friend I`ve had.
Jarrod:Good to hear.
(Tediz break the door down and come in and tie up rodent)
Tedi:Any last requests?
Rodent:Could you untie me and just let me go please?
Tedi:No!Ha.
Tedi:Take aim.Wait for it,Wait for it.Choose a target and fire.
Tediz shoot Rodent and then died)
Tediz walk up to Jarrod and one of them spoke english)
Tedi:Thanks for letting us do that here`s $5,000 dollars.
Jarrod:No problem,anytime.I hated him anyway.
Interview dismissed.
Dung Beetle (Nozza)
Jarrod:Hey Mr. Dung Beetle!
Dung Beetle:Hey eh! My name is Nozza not crap!
Jarrod:Oh ok sorry mate
Dung Beetle:I'm not your mate! Sick bastard!
Jarrod:Ok what ever you say beetle.
Dung Beetle:Ah ok den!
Jarrod:Why do you roll around crap?
Dung Beetle:Well eh! It's my job see.
Jarrod:Oh really!
Dung Beetle:It's not that bad! Smells a bit though.
Jarrod:I'm sure it does.
Dung Beetle:I don't even get much pay either!
Jarrod:Who do you work for?
Dung Beetle: The big of piece of shite!
Jarrod: You mean the Great Mighty Poo!
Dung Beetle: Yeah that's the guy!
Jarrod: He ate your friends!
(Big hands comes out grabs Nozza)
Dung Beetle: Oh crap not again!
Interview Dismissed
TNT IMP
Jarrod: Hi I`m Jarrod,and today we have the TNT Imp.
TNT Imp:Hi,little fella,I seem to have this thing attached to my back,can you get it off?
Jarrod:Not right now!What did you think of conker?
TNT Imp:He was good,except he blew me up.
Jarrod:(tries not to laugh)So how many of you are there?
TNT Imp:I'm the only one
Jarrod:Funny, I counted about 7 or 8 of you
TNT Imp:You must have counted wrong, cause I'm the only one.
Jarrod:Would you like me to give you some toilet paper?
TNT Imp:Yes Please that would make my day! I've had a real mess lately. The janitor never came back.
Jarrod: There's some down at hill
TNT Imp: Oh really! Great!
(Jarrod pushes him down the hill)
TNT Imp:I`ll just sit here.
Jarrod:Ok you do that
(Jarrod throws a grenade and it lands on the TNT Imp and blows him up)
Jarrod:I`m glad that`s over
(Another TNT Imp walks in)
Jarrod:I knew there was more than one.
TNT Imp: Umm I'm his cousin
Jarrod: Yeah and I'm your long lost buddy!
(Jarrod pushes Imp into pile of TNT)
Interview Dismissed
The Evil Tedi(Tediz)
Jarrod:Hey there teddy bear!
Tedi: Ah squishy squashy!
Jarrod: Right!
Tedi: Funda eh kill!
Jarrod: Your going to kill me?
Tedi: Wait for it Wait for it!
Jarrod: Wait for what?
(3 Tediz come out and look at Jarrod)
Jarrod: Oh boy!
Tedi: Shoot tha funda!
(Tediz Scream something)
Jarrod: Alright that's it!
Tedi: Eh...
(Jarrod leaves)
Tediz: Gee what's his problem we were just playing with him.
Tedi: Yeah we weren't gonna kill him, just tease him
Interview dismissed
Sargent Squirrel
Jarrod:Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have Sarge the lousy squirrel army guy.
Sarge:Hi there sonny boy! Oh dang gonet,tell you what **** that shit.
Jarrod:What did you think of conker?
Sarge:He was fantastic,we won the war,and finished it with in an hour.
Jarrod:What about you,you were supposed to be fighting too?
Sarge:Well I eh had a uh stomach ache, yeah!
Jarrod:(Jarrod is getting angry)I knew it,that`s the reason why Conker is the hero and not you,you didn`t even give him any weapons,and you hid in the ship the whole time,you coward.
Sarge:Actually I did give him weapons all he had to do was press B.
Jarrod:Oh,but still you`re a coward.
Sarge:Yeah you`re right I`m a $%*#*#* coward,oh **** that shit.
Interview dismissed..oh **** that crap
Don Weazo(Mob Boss)
Jarrod:Hi I`m Jarrod,and today we Don Weazo,Don thanks for coming in.
Don wezo:No problemo,but you have got to show the appropriate levels of respect.
Jarrod:Ah ha,what did you think of conker?
Don weazo:He didn`t show the appropriate levels of
respect,so no I hated him.
Jarrod:Did you get paid from the Panther King after when he received conker?
Don weazo:Yes,$1,000, dollars he gave
me,nananananana,I`m the richest.
Jarrod:No you`re not,did you realise that conker had $1000,000 dollars?
Don weazo:No.(Don weazo looks at his watch)
Don weazo:Time for another job.Jarrod We have a little job for you.
Jarrod:Nah that's ok, I already got a job.
Don weazo:(Don wezo shouts) I said take it.
Jarrod:(Jarrod yells back) Your not the boss of me!!
Sometime later
Don weazo:You know some people have been asking me the same question where's Frankie?Where`s Chicho?Were`s Ali?Were`s the heck is Jarrod? Well I could say I think they`ve gone for a swim.Well if you`re waiting for them I wouldn`t hold your breath,which is ironic,because I suspect that`s what they are doung right now.HAHA.Right were`s the next job?
Interview dismissed
Interviewing with the Conker Cast
by Julie Riley
Note: The hosts are copyrighted by Sega while the guests that are interviewed are copyrighted by Rareware.
Part 1: Sonic's Interview with Conker
Sonic looks a little annoyed about the whole thing, but sighs and looks at Conker, who comes in.
Sonic: Heya, Conker. I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, and me & my buds are going to interview with you guys, so I'm first.
He sees that Conker's not really happy about it either.
Sonic: (sighs) Okay, look, I'm going to ask you some questions about what you thought about the whole "Bad Fur Day" thing is.
Conker: (sits down) All right, as long as it's not about the...(points downward) you know what.
Sonic: (looks disgusted) Oh, that! (normally) Anyway, tell us about the beginning, won't you?
Conker: (smirks) All right. In the beginning, there was no life at the Universe. Then the Big Bang came an-
Sonic: (angrily) Not that far, Conker!
Conker: (narrows) All right, (to himself) smart-a**.
Sonic picks up one of the chili-dogs and eats it while Conker continues.
Conker: Anyway, one day I got so drunk, I didn't know if I was going to the right direction. When I woke up at almost dawn, I realized I wasn't back at my home. It was then that I met a scarecrow named Birdy.
Sonic: (confused) Beardy? But he doesn't have a beard.
Conker: That's what I told him, but he says it was Birdy, not Beardy. Anyway, he taught me some important things, and when I was trying to get back home, I met this stupid gargoyle, who threw me down at the river.
Sonic: Wait a sec, shouldn't gargoyles be turned to stone during the day?
Conker: He was a stoned gargoyle! But this was not like those gargoyles I know, like the one from that show...Goliath.
Sonic: (writes it down) Okay then, just continue while I write.
Conker: Uh, are you sure you know what you're doing?
Sonic: Yeah, and besides, I can write fast as well as listen well. But only when neccessary.
Conker grabs his chili-dog and begins to eat it as the squirrel continued.
Conker: Anyway, after learning I had a frying pan with me, I got my revenge on the gargoyle, though he thought it was funny. After that, I was on my way to Windy.
Sonic: What about Death? Didn't you encounter with him somewhere?
Conker: (ponders) I can't quite remember when I met him that day, but I do remember him calling me a prick.
Sonic: Uh, okay.
Conker: Well, after I was brought back to life with the tail, and have found some floating chocolate, I met the queen and she was crying like the bitch she was. She then told me that her hive was stolen after she kicked out her husband for cheating on her. After I got the hive from Wanka and his gang, (smirks) we let the wasps have it. She then gave me money, (takes it out) which is right here. And you're never gonna believe where I found the other money.
Money: Hey, let me go, you b******! You act as though you're an ingrate of some kind. Bloody hell with you!
Sonic: (puts the money back) Uh, let's just skip up to when you realized that Berri was kidnapped, okay?
Conker: (shrugs) Well, anyway, after fighting a haybot, a dogshark, and the GMP, I found myself paying a toll to one of the guards, who the author calls Mitch.
Sonic: Mitch?
Conker: You don't wanna know. Anyway, after a quick white lie, & getting my money back, I found myself in the world of dinosaurs. I made a sacrifice to the dragon-like statue before heading on. It was then that the dragon let me in, but not before I made sure it sneezed out its tongue.
Sonic: (more disgusted) Uh, yeah.
Conker: So then, I found one of the Ugas at the other side, knocked him out, and took his hood, making me look like a god to the Ugas.
Sonic: A god? Why would they think you were a god?
Conker: Beats me. Moving on with the subject, the Ugas helped me into someplace called The Rock Solid by helping me tell that rock creature the password. I was then inside the club, and there on the cage, I saw Berri. I thought she was at home, exercising.
Sonic: Well, I guess you're the only one who thought that.
Conker: (glares) How do you know about Berri's whereabouts?
Sonic: I thought we were talking about yourself, Conker.
Conker: Oh, right. Anyway, I managed to get her out, but it required me to get drunk an-
Sonic: (even more disgusted) Uh, forget I asked that part! Let's go on to when you've met Donald Weazo.
Conker: (sighs) Fine. Well, after getting Berri out, though she didn't recognize me, I met with the bouncer again and he told me that the boss wanted to see me. When I came in, the boss was beating up Red for doing something stupid. And Berri was with him, completely looking like she had a crush on him. (angrily) When I get my hands on that weasel, I'm gonna-
He then looked at Sonic, who didn't look interested and was about to fall asleep.
Conker: (shouts) HOW DARE YOU!
That woke the hedgehog up frightfully.
Sonic: Wha-? Eggman!
He looked around and only saw an angry Conker.
Sonic: Oh right, the interview. Uh, continue, unless you like to bore me.
Conker: Fine. Anyway, Don told me I have a little job; blowing up the Uga Colony. So, with the same disguise, I managed to take the bomb to where I found the costume. Unfortunately, it also made me realize that when I threw the bomb, I made the lava flow.
Sonic: And some of the Ugas that are alive, they said something about racing you?
Conker: Ugh, don't remind me. Anyway, after the race, I found myself in the colloseum, where I met Fangy.
Sonic: (looks at a fanfic) You know, Conker. Some authors think that, besides that your world is my world also, is that Nack had some connection with the dinosaur.
Conker: Are you kidding? Moving on with the topic, I met Bugga and his so-called "Big Boner".
Sonic: (rolls eyes) Good thing I already went before we did this.
Conker: After fighting Bugga, I met the giant human Jugga, after getting rid of Fangy. She told me that it wouldn't work out between us. She then gave me a lift back to my own home.
Sonic: (nods) I see...
Conker: Anyway, I'll just skip onto when I met Gregg again and my ancestor.
Sonic: Which reminds me, how is it that a Bat Squirrel like Batula look almost like Nack, as one author claimed?
Conker: (crosses his arms) Can we please not discuss that? I'm sick of people saying that!
Sonic: Man, and the others say I have an attitude problem.
Conker: Well, anyway, I was knocked out for quite sometime after my ride with the barrel. I then went to the opening, which completely closed behind after I got in. Then I saw Gregg with the catfish. He didn't seem happy, that's all I can say.
Sonic: (yawns) Okay...
Conker: Now, I went up to him and he told me to get rid of the undead by shooting them at their heads. It wasn't pretty and it'll never be pretty. So, after getting rid of them, while heading towards the castle to get my inheritance, I heard Gregg mention something about my ancestor, but I can't quite remember.
Sonic: Hey, I forget sometimes too, but that doesn't mean I don't know.
Conker: (glares) Anyway, (normal tone) I've met up with him and he gave me dinner, since I was tired of chocolate. We had a nice conversation until the villagers barged in. I was then turned into a vampire by my great, great, great, great, great, grandfather. It was then my errand to give him the villagers. I then threw each of them into the grinder until he got so fat, he couldn't get out of the way of the grinder on time.
Nack's Voice: Ha, I knew it! You owe me Fifty Bucks, Bat Squirrel!
Sonic & Conker looked annoyed to where the weasel's voice had come from, but decided to ignore him.
Sonic: Okay, another question. One author thought that you picked up a white bat that the Count had fallen in love with, is that true?
Conker: I can't quite remember cause there were alot of people there.
Sonic: Hey, no big deal. Just continue with your story, Conker.
Conker: (nods) All right. Well, after I was turned back to normal, the zombies took over the mansion as I tried to find my way out. I eventually did, and found another barrel to get me back to where I started earlier.
Sonic: So you came back to Birdy's, right?
Conker: Yep, and when I came back to the entrance, there was the news saying that there was War going on. I was drafted and was recruited to the Squirrel Army. I was then on the battlefield and many squirrels were mostly killed off. I then eventually found out the place was overuned by Tediz.
Sonic: Tediz?
Conker: Anyway, while killing off the Tediz, I freed two captives, although the first one turned jet black as I helped him escape. The other one is the one I really hate, Rodent.
Sonic: I see what you mean. He can be annoying at times.
Conker: He's just an idiotic nerd wannabe.
Tails' Voice: Rodent's not a nerd! You should apologize when you find him.
Conker: (glares) Shut up, Tails!
He then turned to the blue hedgehog, who was growing impatient.
Sonic: I'm waiting.
Conker: Anyway, later on, I found a little girl and helped her, but Rodent showed up and told me not to help her. Cause she was really an experiment with a giant Tediz-spider.
Sonic: (sarcastically) Oh, I'm so scared.
Conker: (chuckles) Anyway, with the tank Rodent found, we beat the experiment. I thought Rodent was gone and left him behind when the base was about to self-destruct. I made it out, and Rodent survived the explosion, although he destroyed the windmill. Anyway, I went towards the windmill and he was greatful to be with me. I later left him and headed to the short-cut, leading me to what appeared to be the bank. (angrily) Then he showed up!
Sonic: Who?
Conker: Don! Oh, why didn't he have a crush on Nack's sister first?
Conker got up and paced around the room.
Conker: If only I would've killed him when I saw him again...
Sonic: Uh, Conker? The interview?
Conker: Oh right. Sorry. (sits down) Anyway, when I saw him and Berri in a new suit, he asked me to help him out. I agreed, under the condition I get cool clothes like Berri's. I was dressed up in black and we invaded the bank, Matrix-style.
Sonic: You saw that movie too?
Conker: Yep! Anyway, after getting to the vault & getting a million dollars, we've met the Panther King. And who showed up but that weasel! He then shot Berri and was about to leave with his dough. It was then that a professor showed up and the monster came out of the stomach. Don was already gone before we headed towards space. I got on the suit, after pulling the lever, which sucked everything but me & the monster out.
Sonic: Yeah, and...?
Conker: Well, the monster was about to get me, but something malfunctioned and everything was frozen.
Sonic: (ponders) Yeah, that is a mystery.
Conker: Anyway, I told whoever was the one that froze everything to give me a weapon and take me back to the throne room. I completely forgot to tell that person to bring back Berri though. Anyway, after killing the alien, the guys, including Rodent (shudders), showed up and announced me King of All the Land, which didn't look like a big deal. I only wanted to get home and have Berri back.
Sonic: Well, you could've told them your story, but I don't know if they'll listen.
Conker: (sarcastically) Now you tell me.
Sonic: (looks at the clock) Whoops, outta time. Wish I could do more, but I have a world to see. (gets up) See ya!
He runs out of the room as Conker looked at the computer. He then realized something with the screenshots.
Conker: Sonic was the one...he saved me from the alien?
He then started to chase after him.
Conker: Hey, Sonic! I want you to explain this, and don't say that you're not listening!
He runs out of the room, trying to follow the fast blue hedgehog.
((Next up: Tails' Interview with Rodent))
Ze Professor
Jarrod:Hello I`m Jarrod,and I`m having an interview here today with the word's craziest professor!
Ze Professor:Ah, yes zat be me.
Jarrod:So you are genius right?
Ze Professor: Why yess I am ze best professor in ze world!
Jarrod:Right, so how did you loose you legs?
Ze Professor: Now zat it a longz story.
Jarrod: Let me guess, the Panther King cut them off.
Ze Professor: That $%@#*&!, I *&$(*#& had that arse
Jarrod: Ok calm down now!
Ze Professor: Don't tell me whatz to do! Stupid *#$@!*
Jarrod: Ok do as you please!
Ze Professor: I must go, find ze chemical elements in ze antigravity chocolate.
Jarrod: Ok you do that!
Interview Dismissed
The Puppet Girl
Jarrod:Hello I`m Jarrod,and I`m having an interview here today with puppet girl,hello puppet girl,how are you?
Puppet Girl:Ok, make this quick,I`m in a hurry.
Jarrod:What do you think of conker?
Puppet Girl:Who?Ah,Ah,yes,mr squirrel,his is a ******* b******,(her head turns)and so are you,missiles.
Jarrod:Don`t try that,you don`t have a tedi shooting missiles anymore,did you know that you`re father died?
Puppet Girl:What he died,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Jarrod:Ze professor that is.
Puppet Girl:I don`t have a mum,he was my only family.
Jarrod:Get lost little girl,you`re good for nothing.
Puppet Girl:Mummy,mummy they are picking on me.
Jarrod:You don`t have a mum.
Interview Dismissed
Gregg The Grim Reaper
Jarrod:Hello,I`m Jarrod today we have Gregg The Grim Reaper,Gregg thanks for coming in.
(Gregg`s looks very unhappy)
Gregg:Yeah,well it was a bit of a ******* effort.
Jarrod:I will say like I always say,what do you think of conker?
Gregg:That little prick,he is a bit of a smart arse,but he's ok.
Jarrod:So did you like been in the game?
Gregg:It was an ok role for me,but I don`t even get payed very much. (Cheap pricks)
Jarrod:I`ll be off then. (Starts running away)
(Gregg's pitchfork shops Jarrod's way)
Gregg:Just you wait smart arse,you don`t get out of it that easily.
Jarrod: Heh, well I've gotta go work on Conker's Crib
Gregg: Oh, ok then piss off.
Interview Dismissed
Conker The Squirrel
Jarrod:Hi I`m Jarrod,today we have Conker, the red squirrel himself.
(Conker must of gone to the pub to have some scotch, lets head there.)
Conker: Oh hey it's um you!
Jarrod: Hey Conker hows it going?
Conker: Feeling a little whoosy right now.
Jarrod: You been drinking again Conker?
Conker: No, No I'm just watching the guys drink.
Jarrod: Whats that next to you?
Conker: Ummm Coke..heh
Jarrod: Yeah right, so how's life as king?
Conker: Well to tell you the truth it stinks.
Jarrod: Oh really, you miss Berri?
Conker: You know I do, (Cries)
Jarrod: Ok I guess I'll let you go Conker.
Conker: Ok then, see ya around.
(Conker falls down with beer mug)
Interview Dismissed
The Frenchies
Jarrod:Hi,I`m Jarrod,and today we have the Frenchies,what did you think of conker?
Frenchie 1:Heeoho Heohoh eeee!!
Jarrod:I`m sorry what did you say?
Frenchie 2:Heohoh eh oh waa!!
Jarrod:I don't have time for games, talk in english please!
(Jarrod leaves)
Frenchie 1:Gee what was his problem?
Frenchie 2:I don`t know?
Interview Dismissed
Ron & Reg
Jarrod:Hey guys hows it going?
Ron:Oh **** it's you!
Jarrod:What did I do?
Reg:You hit us with a dang frying pan!
Jarrod:Yeah I did a few times!
(Jarrod laughs)
Ron:You think it's funny? Huh? Answer me you $*#&
Reg:Yeah you um think it's funny?
Jarrod: It's funny to see a bot and a brush get mad, especially with Conker's frying pan.
Ron: That *#$*#$ messed me up! Stupid *#$&#@&
Reg: Yeah hehe!
(Ron gives Reg a dirty look)
Jarrod: Well I'll let you fellas do what you do.
Ron:What do we do?
Reg:Yeah what do we do?
Jarrod:You leave!!
Ron:Ok see ya around #*$&#@$
Interview Dismissed
Berri
Jarrod:Today we have Berri! Conker's girlfriend
Berri:Can we like make this quick! I need to fix my nails!
Jarrod:Ok, So how was Rock Solid?
Berri: It was like alot of fun, those rock guys can really get down!
Jarrod:Conker was there! Did you see him?
Berri:Um no, I saw some like cave guys though.
Jarrod:Remember the scene with Don Weaso?
Berri: Ya I like loved that part!
(Berri stands up)
Berri:I have to like go now
Jarrod: Ok see ya Berri
Berri: Ok like Bye!
Interview Dismissed
Mr. Scarecrow Birdy
Jarrod:Welcome Birdy the scarecrow! Hey Birdy how's it going?
Birdy: Oh hey! Umm you ah got manuel?
Jarrod:Yea I got a manuel for Conker
Berri: Want to have better one?
Jarrod:No thanks
Birdy: You got mepsipax anywhere?
Jarrod:No I don't
(Birdy Farts)
Birdy:I uh need um ten dolla!
Jarrod: For what!
Birdy:For answer question! Yea Yea
Jarrod: Look there's ten dollars over there!
(Birdy Hops over to the money)
Birdy: Wow now I can buy mepsipax!
(Money Jumps out of Birdy's hand)
Money: Goood grief that &$#@#(@ smells like shite!
Interview Dismissed
Batula (Conkula)
Jarrod:Hello I`m Jarrod and today we have batula (Conkula) with us today.Hello Batula,how are you?
Batula:I`m ok,I`m very hungry though.
Jarrod:Ok.What did you think of conker?
Batula:Ah,yez,my great great grandson,he vas velcomed to zer family,he didn`t respect me though,he killed me.
Jarrod:More like you killed your self.
Batula:Enough who are to critosize me or my ancestors who`s blood runz in zese veins,you are not a noble of birth and never vill be.
Batula:Please except my apoligies whenever you talk about my ancestors I get a bit touchy.
Jarrod:It`s ok.( there is a bang on the door)
Batula:oh shite,zer villagers again,sounds like zere is more of zem zis time.
Batula:Zis could be your lucky night Jarrod,I vas going to kill you and drink your blood,but now I think I vill be needing you`re help,prey,come here.
Jarrod:What`s all that about?
Batula:I said come here.
Batula:Zis day fourth you will now fetch me zer the villagers and let me drink there blood.
(Jarrod chirps)
Batula:Ah,yes I forgot,you can only talk like vat you are,A BAT. A very ugly bat too.
Interview dismissed
Wayne (Wankas)
Jarrod:Hi I`m Jarrod and today we have wayne and the wankas with us.What did you think of conker?
Wayne:That little %$@!$*# kept stealing our hive.
Jarrod:Mrs bee`s hive you mean?
Wayne:Don`t be a smart a## now.
Jarrod:Ok,can I have my pen back please?
(Wayne and the wasps just ignored him.
(Jarrod snatched the pen off them)
Wayne:Hey some wise guy is trying to steal our nice new pen
Wasp2:Cmon boss let`s go and get him.
Wasp3 Yeah let`s get him.
Jarrod:No wait a second!
(Jarrod pulls out a frying pan and whacks the wasps)
Interview dismissed
