Hunter

“Yeah, sorry.” Max did not sound all that contrite has she lowered herself onto the couch. She had left for a ‘short walk’ almost four hours before. “I lost track of time.”

“Are you sure you should walk so much at this stage?’ Logan tried to keep his tone light, not wanting to start an argument, but he was concerned that at eight months pregnant she was over doing it.

She sighed harshly. “I was taking it easy.”

He swivelled in his computer chair. “I didn’t say you weren’t. I was just worried. You were gone a while.”

“I know. I stopped by to talk to Joshua. Don’t look at me like that. Sam says the baby shares my immunity, so it’s safe to go to Terminal City.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you were about to.”

It was Logan’s turn to sigh as he stood and slowly approached her, the faint buzz of the exoskeleton unusually audible in the night. “I don’t want to fight. I know you feel cooped up here and you want to get out and about like you used to.”

“You got that right,” she cut in.

Logan crouched in front of her, placing one hand on her swollen belly. “It’s just, it’s the middle of January, you’re eight months pregnant, and I can’t help remembering what happened last time, you know?”

Max placed her hand over his, squeezing it, and softened her stance. “I know. But I’m fine, and I’m taking it easy. There’s not much else I can do. I can’t stay cooped up here all day and night, I’d go crazy.”

Her husband let out a chuckle. “Some people would say you’re already there. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Max sighed softly, watching Logan sleep. He was right, she did feel cooped up in the late stages of her pregnancy—cat burglary and her other usual modes of activity were out. She tried to tell herself that it was for the best, that Logan loved her and she loved him. But she was not the most patient person, and inactivity did not suit her.

She understood Logan’s fear about what happened before, though. Her memories of her miscarriage last year were hazy, but she knew she almost died from blood loss—she’d required blood transfusions from Krit, Alec, and Zane afterwards. One thing she did remember was Logan’s fear, and relief when she pulled through okay. It was understandable that he’d be worried when she fell pregnant again; especially as this time the child was his.

But the pregnancy was beginning to wear on her, and the inactivity was beginning to grate. She longed for her freedom—and her figure—back. What was worse, she was beginning to feel as though something was missing in her marriage—a vague, dissatisfaction that was eating away at her. She tried talking about it to Syl or Sasha; but not being able to find the words to correctly say what she was feeling, her worries were dismissed as hormones. For all she knew, it was only hormones. She loved Logan, surely that was enough.

Or so she thought. The apartment was dark, no lights or lamps were on, but there was light coming from Logan’s office. Pale light, muted light. Investigating, she found that his little television was on, no sound, and Logan was sitting in his wheelchair, back against the wall.

“Legs playing up?” she asked when she faced her husband.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in,” Logan responded as he switched the lamp on, making her blink.

She forced a smile. “I’m the cat, but I haven’t got anything. Did Jack wake up?”

“No, I just woke to find that you weren’t there.”

“That’s not unusual. Shark DNA remember? I often get up after you’ve fallen asleep.”

“Yeah, but you generally stay in the apartment. Where were you?”

She sighed, folding her arms. Though logically she knew her husband’s concern was warranted, she was extremely irritated, perhaps even a little angry, at the question. “Logan…”

“Max,” he shot back in the same tone. “I woke up to an empty bed, and when I looked for you, you weren’t here. Excuse me for being worried when I don’t know where you are.”

“I can look after myself!”

“I know that,” Logan’s tone turned mild. “But that doesn’t stop me from worrying. It never has; that kinda goes with the territory of loving someone.”

All at once, Max’s irritation disappeared and she relaxed, letting her arms drop to her sides. “I’m sorry. I just needed to get out, you know?”

“Where did you go?” this time the question was asked softly, gently.

“Top of the Space Needle. It’s been ages since I was up there, and I just needed to go.” The Space Needle was her preferred thinking spot, but during the latter months of her pregnancy it became impractical for her to go up there.

“You just needed to go,” Logan slowly wheeled over to her. “Is there anything on your mind?”

She shook her head. “I just needed to get outta here. It was like the walls were closin’ in on me and I couldn’t take it anymore!”

He recognised the rising hysteria in her voice. “Hey, it’s all right. I was worried when I didn’t know where you were, but it’s okay now.”

But it wasn’t okay, and Max knew it. Ever since Jack was born she had been through a myriad of emotions, most of them at the negative end of the spectrum. Dr Sam Carr called it post-natal depression, and Sasha Bradley agreed, stating that it seemed to be common for X5s after they had given birth (although she admitted that her experience in that field was limited). Whatever it was, Max didn’t like it. She could barely handle the hormonal mood swings of pregnancy—constant inexplicable depression and apathy was even worse, giving her the feeling that there was something missing in her life when she should feel like she has it all.

She came out of her reverie to find Logan looking at her with such concern that it brought tears to her eyes. “What’s wrong with me, Logan?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Logan took hold of her hand and gently tugged her onto his lap. “Post-natal depression’s common, and trust me; you’ll get through it and bounce back, good as new.”

She laid her head on his shoulder. “I hate this. A genetically engineered killing machine brought to her knees by depression.”

“It’s not that bad,” he leaned back to kiss the top of her head. “But I don’t think Manticore had hormones in mind when they designed you.”

She snorted. “They had a lot of oversights.”

“Maybe. But I love you for all that.” Logan kissed her again, gently bringing his arm up to her waist. “Your chariot awaits, milady. You wanna head back to bed for a while?”

Max smiled, sitting up a little and linking her arms around his neck. “Nice idea, but there’s a little man who’ll be wantin’ his breakfast very soon.”

Right on cue, a baby’s whimper cut into the morning. Chuckling, Logan turned the wheelchair in the direction of the bedroom, not for bed, but for the baby. “You’ve discovered a new use for genetically enhanced hearing, anyway.”

“Yeah,” she agreed half-heartedly, the thought not particularly comforting.

Advice from Krit and Original Cindy swirled around in her head

“I still love Logan.” “I know you do, boo. That doesn’t mean you don’t feel somethin’ for Alec too.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Max. There’s obviously something between you and Alec, and sooner or later Logan will notice.”

But how could she tell Logan about her feelings for Alec when it’s never occurred to her that she may have any?

“You’ll hurt Logan more if you stay in a relationship where you’re not completely happy.”

How hard was it to tell your husband that you’re not completely happy anymore? Logan already sensed that something was wrong.

In Max’s mind, the fact that she felt that something was missing in her marriage was a more important issue that had to be dealt with. Logan knew something was up with her, something beyond the post-natal depression she’d been suffering. But there was no way he could even imagine what was wrong. How could he—he was by nature optimistic when it came to their love. He could never conceive of something like this, Max could hardly believe it herself.