The Lover After Me

Logan sighed when he saw the date—21st May 2024, just over seven months since Max left. At least it wasn’t for another guy… as such. It was Alec’s kiss that made her realise that things between her and her husband were not the same anymore, but she hadn’t hooked up with the other transgenic. Within a few days of leaving him, Max moved into an apartment on the other side of Terminal City with her brother Krit, taking their son, Jack, and their then-9-year-old nephew Case. As far as Logan could tell, Alec still kept his quarters in Terminal City—which did not necessarily mean anything.

Logan knew that it wasn’t healthy to obsess on thoughts like that, but he couldn’t help it. He knew that Max had been seeing some of Alec outside of the normal Terminal City business and transgenic missions—a couple of dates and things like that. Krit had tried to reassure him that nothing else was going on, but Logan felt that it was just a matter of time. Sooner or later Max and Alec had to work out whatever it was between them, and Logan was afraid it would claim Max permanently.

The only person Logan spoke of this fear to was his cousin Bennett—everyone else he could confide in also talked to Max, and they tended to try and reassure him that everything will work out in the end. Bennett just wondered why the hell he didn’t move out of Seattle and start over somewhere else. But Logan couldn’t do that. Not only would it mean leaving his son behind, but it would eliminate any hope that he and Max could make it. And despite the way that things stood between them, keeping that hope alive was the only thing that kept him going.

So he waited, relishing any contact he had with her—which was limited to visits with Jack and Case, and any transgenic business that happened to involve him. They kept things light for the sake of the children, which meant that things of a personal nature were not discussed; not perfect but better than nothing.

Logan was startled out of his musings by a knock at the door. Glancing at the monitor which showed the outside (Max called it his ‘video-peephole’) he saw that it was Krit with the children. “Aren’t you a day early for the weekend?” he asked when he opened the door.

“Da da,” Jack gurgled, arms out, struggling to get to his father.

“Sorry about this,” Krit apologised, handing the 15-month-old over. “Max had an emergency and needs you to take the kids now.”

“Hey Case,” Logan nodded at the boy as Krit ushered him inside. “What kind of emergency, and where is Max?” he asked the other man.

“Er…” Krit hesitated, scratching his head. “Uh Case, could you take Jack into the other room please? I need to talk to Uncle Logan.”

“Sure, Uncle Krit,” the 10-year-old replied.

“What’s going on, Krit?” Logan asked suspiciously.

“Uh…Max is…Max is… she’s gone in heat, Logan.” Krit was extremely embarrassed at having to say anything about it.

Logan flushed, remembering all too clearly what Max was like when she was in heat—and how great the sex was. What got him was, why was Max sending the children to him instead of just coming over herself? Unless she was planning to just ride it out… or she already found someone to satiate herself with.

Logan saw Krit sigh, and knew that the latter was the case. He also knew that Krit was dreading to tell him something. “There’s something else, isn’t there, Krit?”

“Logan…”

“What is it?”

Krit sighed again. “Alec came over this afternoon. He was able to sense it in her almost before she realised it herself.”

Logan closed his eyes, Krit’s words sparking memories he would rather forget. When an X5 male slept with an X5 female while she was in heat, he became ultra sensitive to her heat cycles thereafter. Alec once ‘helped’ Max through a cycle when it became too much for her and Logan couldn’t help because she still had the virus and one touch would kill him. The fact that Alec could now sense when Max went in heat has since proven awkward and embarrassing; but the implications went further here. Krit didn’t have to explain why Max sent the children to him—Logan worked that out perfectly well on his own.

Logan spent the weekend in a blur, going through the motions of taking care of Jack and Case. Their routine was not too disrupted, as it was the weekend he was supposed to take them anyway and one day didn’t matter much. Jack was mercifully too young to wonder why, and if Case understood what was going on he didn’t say anything. Logan personally felt that Case was also too young to understand, but given how intuitive he was, that was by no means guaranteed. But the child remained quiet on the subject, thankfully not asking Logan any awkward questions…

At least until Sunday night over dinner. “Uncle Logan, are you and Auntie Max gonna get back together?”

Logan sighed, and put down his fork. “I don’t know. Why?”

Case shrugged. “Uncle Alec’s been coming around for dinner more, just like Auntie Max used to before you got together.” Case was familiar with the stories about how Auntie Max and “Uncle” Logan met and got together—the abridged version of course; cat burglaries and Eyes Only missions being omitted from the tale.

Case’s proclamation was unwelcome, but not totally unexpected news. “Does it bother you?” Logan asked. “Uncle Alec coming over, I mean?”

“Not really. Uncle Alec’s cool. But he’s not you.”

Logan felt very sorry for the boy. After losing his mother just before he turned six, and his father two years later, Case needed stability, not more upheaval. But Max was the one who wanted out, and it would have been worse for Case and Jack to get caught in a disintegrating marriage.

He hated himself for asking the question, but his curiosity would not let it slide. “Case, has Uncle Alec ever stayed the night?”

“Once,” the boy replied. “On the sofa. He’d been shot, Uncle Krit fixed it and Auntie Max told him to stay.”

Logan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and changed the subject. He didn’t want paranoia about Alec and Max to spoil his time with the children. But it was there, below the surface, rising like a spectre when he was alone in his room late at night, unable to sleep.

Monday morning proved frantic, for the plan was to pack the children’s gear up, get Jack dressed, drop Case at school, and then take Jack to Max, praying that her heat cycle would be over. This plan hit a snag when Case announced, rather suddenly, that he needed a project for school that day, and he’d left it at home. Logan sighed; he had not wanted to take Case back to the apartment in case Max was still in heat and going at it with Alec. No need to expose the boy to that.

But it had been over three days, and Max’s cycles were usually over by that point; so Logan figured it would be all right. Besides which, Case really needed his project, so there was nothing for it.

When they got there, Logan was concerned to find the front door ajar. Not hearing anything, and fearing trouble, he put Jack in Case’s arms and told him to stay there and go to Uncle Zane’s if he heard any trouble.

Gently pushing the children behind him, Logan cautiously edged the door open, softly calling Max’s name. Instead of the trouble he was expecting, he found Max sitting on the kitchen counter, her arms around a bare-chested Alec standing between her legs, kissing him easily and comfortably. Stunned by the vision of the kiss (which was not frantic, and obviously not the product of a heat cycle), all Logan could do was stand and watch.

Case, meanwhile, had sensed no trouble, so he ignored Logan’s instructions and followed him into the apartment. He was not as dumbstruck over the sight of Max and Alec kissing as his uncle was. “Hi Auntie Max, Uncle Alec.”

The couple broke apart in a hurry. “Case, what are you doin’ here?” Alec asked as Max jumped down from the counter and took Jack from Case’s arms.

“He lives here,” Logan answered dryly.

“I have to take my project to school today,” Case added. “I forgot to pack it, so we had to come to pick it up.”

“I thought it would be safe.”

Max flinched at Logan’s pointed tone. “My cycle’s over, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Logan set his jaw, he didn’t need the confirmation.

Alec looked from one to the other, and then turned to Case. “Hey, I have to take Serena to school. If you want, you can grab your project and come with.”

“Okay,” Case scurried off.

“That won’t be necessary, Alec,” Logan said through clenched teeth at the same time.

“Thanks, Alec,” Max countered. “You may want to put a shirt on, though.”

Alec looked down at his chest, which bore hickeys and other signs of love-making. “Very funny.” Gently squeezing her hips with a familiarity Logan didn’t like, Alec backed away from Max and disappeared into her bedroom.

“Max, I don’t think…” Logan began.

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “We need to talk.”

“What’s left to talk about?” he asked bitterly.

Case reappeared before she could reply. “Got it,” he announced.

“Did you finish it before you went to Uncle Logan’s?” Max asked him.

“Uh huh.”

Alec chose that moment to reappear, pulling his jacket on over his shirt. “Ready to pick up Serena?”

The boy turned to Max, and she nodded at him. “Go on, I’ll see you after school.”

Alec drained his coffee mug and discretely took hold of Max’s hand. “I’ll see you after the Council meeting?”

“Sure.”

Logan could see that Alec didn’t want to push things by kissing Max that that point, but Max had no such reservations. She pulled Alec in for a swift kiss, seemingly unconcerned that Logan was watching. Alec hadn’t forgotten, gently disentangling himself with a quiet, “See you later.”

“I don’t see what we have to talk about,” Logan repeated after Alec ushered Case out. “It’s your choice who you want to see. I’m glad you’ve sorted your feelings out.” But he wasn’t, not really.

“But I haven’t, really,” Max said. “Krit told me ages ago that I had to sort out what I felt for Alec, and that’s what I’m trying to do. For the longest time I saw him as Ben’s twin, and an arrogant, self-absorbed asshole.”

“But not anymore,” Logan finished flatly.

She shook her head. “It’s more than that now, but I don’t know what. So we’re gonna give it a go, see where it takes us. We need to do this, Logan.”

“What about us?”

“I still love you,” Max took a deep breath, steeling herself. “But I don’t know if I’m still in love with you. That’s part of what I need to work out.”

Logan closed his eyes and sighed. “So that’s it then,” he said, his voice breaking.

“Logan, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Logan leaned forward to kiss Jack on the forehead. “You always are.”

After sleepless nights being haunted by visions of Max with Alec, Logan came to a decision. He was going to take Bennett’s advice and get out of town for a while. Not leave Seattle permanently, but just get away to clear his head. In some ways it was worse than before.

A few years ago when the virus was still between them, Max had let Logan believe that she was dating Alec to push him away so that she wouldn’t infect him. It came out of the blue for Logan, and cut him deeply; but he loved Max, so he let her go and still helped with the transgenic cause. Yet all the while part of him held the hope that they could still be together one day; so when it proved that Max was only trying to protect him, he was angry, but able to forgive her.

But this time it hurt all the more because he knew it was no lie, and Max was with another man. Someone closer to her own age (Logan was 12 years older); one of her kind, who could understand better than he what she was going through. Logan knew long ago that Alec was his biggest threat for her affections, and he’d been proven right. Max may need to see where a relationship with Alec takes her, but Logan did not need to torture himself watching it.

Decision made, Logan then made plans to take care of things while he was gone. He asked Krit to housesit the apartment and, along with Zane, take care of any Eyes Only business so that no one would become suspicious as to the identity. Although they were Max’s brothers, Krit and Zane were sympathetic to his plight, and Krit even went out of his way to try and reassure him.

“Max still loves you, man. She always will. And when she sorts this out, she’ll come back to you.”

“How can you be so sure?” Logan asked his brother-in-law.

“Because I know Max, and I know where she’s coming from. All of us have had to close ourselves off for fear of what would happen if the truth came out. To go from there to a marriage…”

“I already know this, Krit. I accepted it, and I thought we’d made it. Then look what happened. What’s your point?”

“I think it was a little fast for Max.”

“Fast?” It was not a word Logan thought of when he thought of their relationship, with all their repeated denials and the ‘We’re not like that’ speeches.

“Bear with me. You two had only just hooked up, in that way, when I first met you, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Then Max died, then came back and you found that she had the virus. Then you were in limbo, and when the virus was finally cured and you were suddenly able to be together, you started living together. I don’t think you two ever did any normal relationship things.”

“What’s that got to do with her and Alec?”

Krit shrugged. “I think he’s what might’ve been. I think that kiss in Canada made both of them wonder ‘what if?’ He was supposed to have been her breeding partner back at Manticore.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Krit chuckled. “But I don’t think it really goes beyond friendship for either of them. They’ll figure that out soon.”

“Weren’t you the one who told Max to ‘sort out her feelings’ for Alec? That sounds like more than just friendship.”

“I did. She does feel something for him; but I don’t think it’s much more than friendship. But she has to figure that out for her own peace of mind. It’s the only way she could ever be with you properly. Which would you rather: Max sorting through this now and you can be together forever; or Max stay with you now, and perhaps resent it later?”

Logan had to concede the point. “How’d you get so smart?”

“I grew up learning to read people. It helps when you have to stay hidden. Trust me, Max still loves you.”

“Yeah,” Logan shrugged noncommittally.

After all the arrangements were made, Logan had one last thing to do—tell Max and say goodbye to the kids. It was relatively easy to arrange to pick Case up after school; he was still listed as a legal guardian. But facing Max was another thing entirely.

“Why are you doing this?” was predictably her first question.

“Because I can’t stand the idea of watching you and Alec together.” At her sudden wounded look, he sighed and softened his stance. “I’m sorry; I just need to get away for a bit. Surely you can understand that.”

Max had to concede the point. “You didn’t have to come here to tell me. You could have called or left a message.”

“True, but I didn’t want to slink away as if afraid. I also wanted to see my son before I went.”

As if on cue, Jack started crying from the other room. Max smiled sheepishly and went to get him. “He’s not going to understand, you know. He’s too young.”

“But I will. And he is my son.”

“What about Case?”

“I’ve arranged to pick him up today. I’ll tell him then.”

Before Max could ask another question, her cell phone rang. “Go for Max.” From the tone of her replies, Logan could tell it was Alec, so he gave her some privacy by taking Jack to the window.

She wasn’t on the phone long. “That Alec?” he asked.

She nodded. “I need to go. Can you watch him for a while?”

“You know I will. If you’re not back before Case gets out of school…”

“I know where you’ll be,” she finished. “Besides, you’ve got your cell, haven’t you?” At his nod, she ducked out, leaving Logan alone with his son.

Logan felt guilty about leaving Jack, knowing he would miss so much in a few short months. But just as Max needed to explore her feelings for Alec, Logan needed to get away to sort his feelings out. There was just too much pain here in Seattle at the moment. Perhaps in time, they will all have answers.