Mixed Emotionsby Allison K. East
It was a bit of a relief for her, to be able to talk about her life, who and what she was, to someone, anyone. She’d had to keep it hidden, to fit in and hide in plain sight so she wouldn’t be caught, experimented on, or sold to the highest bidder. Worst of all, she dreaded what would happen if Lydecker or someone from Manticore ever caught up with her. She knew all too well what would happen then. She had also longed to know something about the other escapees, but all her investigating came up nought. But her relief soon turned to anger and frustration when Logan Cale revealed what he wanted her to do… basically become a bodyguard, to protect his “key witness” at the Sonrisa hearing. Didn’t he get what she had been through, how dangerous it was for her? And now he wants her to risk exposure for something that she didn’t even believe in. No way, even if she believed that it was to catch the men behind making Theo sick (or not letting him get better). She felt a twinge of guilt for her attitude when she heard that Theo had died—meaning that if she believed Logan, Sonrisa and his cohorts were responsible and she could help bring them down. But it was only a twinge of guilt, lasting only moments. Self-heroics weren’t going to bring Theo back now, nothing will. Bringing Sonrisa to justice was not worth the risk of exposure to her, no matter how tempting Logan’s offer was; given that he was now her only possible source of finding anything out about the other eleven escapees. That twinge of guilt turned into a little nagging voice in the back of her head when she saw the hoverdrone footage of the shootout. Peter dead, Logan critically injured, Lauren’s daughter kidnapped… if she had been there maybe she could have prevented all that. And maybe not—the fact that it was all caught on hoverdrone meant that if she had been there she would certainly have been exposed. And given the likelihood that Manticore was on her trail… She was able to quiet that little nagging voice. Some. She didn’t know why, but she found herself compelled to visit Logan in hospital. She firmly told herself that it was not guilt, and even told Logan that (even though he was unconscious and couldn’t hear her), but she couldn’t explain why she was there… or why she chose to save him from the gunman on the roof of the building across from the hospital. Or, indeed, why she decided to save Sophie. Logan’s save-the-world crap was not rubbing off on her though. No way.
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