It was exciting at the time, B'Elanna Torres thought, working with Tom and Harry on breaking the transwarp barrier. She was proud when Tom finally did it, and the shuttle Cochran broke the threshold.
Then came the worry when the Cochran disappeared off the sensors. At the time she didn't have the time to notice her worry for the brash, rebel pilot. But afterwards, when the Cochran returned from subspace safe and sound, B'Elanna wondered at the sick worry she felt in her gut for Tom Paris. The last time she had felt that way was on one of the Maquis missions when Chakotay had put himself on the line to save Seska, Ayala and some others from Cardassians. But she'd had a crush on Chakotay at that time. Surely that did not mean that she now had a crush on Tom Paris? That thought was crazy!
Nevertheless, as soon as she was able, B'Elanna raced up to sickbay, arriving just after Tom awoke. Relieved to find him all right, she felt awkward for a moment at having revealed her emotions ever so briefly.
Tom saved her from embarrassment by asking about the shuttle (typical flyboy), and in replying, her enthusiasm for their task returned. She, Tom and Captain Janeway had an animated discussion about the ramifications of Tom's flight, and Tom was about to leave with the ladies to download the Cochran's shuttle logs when the Doctor "requested" that "His Royal Highness" (ie. Tom) remain in sickbay for more tests.
"You may proceed," Tom said regally.
Swallowing a laugh, B'Elanna patted Tom on the leg before leaving with Janeway. In a way, B'Elanna was glad that the Doctor had detained Tom in sickbay because it gave her a chance to sort out her feelings…sort of, anyway. Between sorting through the data from the shuttle and engineering problems.
Not that B'Elanna was able to figure anything out. She knew she wasn't falling for rebel skirt-chaser Tom Paris. She couldn't be! She had nothing in common with him, the only reason they were friends was that his best friend was Harry Kim and Harry was her friend as well. She couldn't understand why she felt this way.
B'Elanna had not come to any shattering conclusions when she and Tom had breakfast together the next morning, so she put the matter out of her mind and reviewed the data on the PADDs with Tom.
Until Tom took a swig of Neelix's new coffee blend and had a reaction to it, or rather, to the water in the coffee. B'Elanna spent agonising minutes watching Tom struggle to breathe, until the Doctor asked her to check shuttle the data for any clues to what was happening to Tom.
Her sick worry for Tom was pushed to the back of her mind as she struggled to find the reason for Tom's condition. Then came the news that Thomas Eugene Paris had died.
After his shift ended Harry Kim stopped by B'Elanna's quarters, checking to see if she was there first. She was; she had tried to bury herself in work but it could bot distract her, and she took it out on her poor engineering staff. In the end, Captain Janeway ordered her to quit for the night, having guessed B'Elanna's inner turmoil.
"Hey, Starfleet," B'Elanna greeted her friend tiredly.
"Hey, Maquis," Harry responded. "How are you doing?"
"How do you think?" B'Elanna shot back. "I can't believe he's gone."
"I know what you mean." Harry and B'Elanna spent the next few hours reminiscing about Tom and his antics. As they talked, Harry began to notice something in B'Elanna's face. He gave her a close look.
"What?" B'Elanna asked, suddenly self-conscious.
"What has been going on between you and Tom?"
"What? Nothing! What makes you think that?"
"Just the way you look when you talk about him."
"Well, there's nothing going on." And nothing will be going on, B'Elanna added silently, then started, wondering where that thought came from.
This did not go unnoticed by Harry. "You liked Tom, didn't you?"
B'Elanna started at him. "Of course I did. He was my friend."
"You know what I mean."
B'Elanna didn't get a chance to reply to that, as just then Captain Janeway announced the miracle that Tom Paris was alive again.
B'Elanna and Harry looked at each other in amazement, then B'Elanna flushed, remembering the conversation. "We didn't have this conversation," B'Elanna warned her friend.
She did not know exactly how she felt about Tom Paris, but she decided to put it out of her mind for the sake of their friendship. For now.
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