He didn’t know why it was so important for him to make sure that Donna knew that it wasn’t his intention to stop her going to the Holiday Inn to be with Jack Reese. In fact, when he told her it wasn’t what it looked like, it appeared that the thought it was deliberate hadn’t even occurred to her. So why had it occurred to him?
Yes, in the past he had deliberately sabotaged dates that she had, or at least taken some grim pleasure in needing her to work and cancel or cut short a date. Yes, the thought of Donna dating someone that wasn’t him would fill him with jealousy when he didn’t clamp those thoughts down in a back recess of his brain. But it was something he would not let himself think about, and tried not to act on. He could never have a relationship with Donna while she remained his assistant, he respected her too much to take that chance with her reputation; and there was no guarantee that she would even go out with him if he even asked her. She would probably think that it was a colossal trick being played on her.
He was amazed how that particular thought hurt him. Was there a deeper feeling than that of friendship that he had for Donna that he was not letting himself contemplate? Certainly others thought so—Amy had asked him point blank whether he was dating his assistant; Reese had thought that there was something going on between them that he might be getting in the middle of, and even Leo wondered whether he had been insensitive when he told him that he sent Donna to the Washington Inn. Of course, Leo’s reaction may have been because he started rabbiting on about Donna meeting Reese at the Washington Inn, when the COS had asked him if he was going away for the holidays.
Josh shook his head. He had no idea where these thoughts were coming from. Maybe he was just getting maudlin because it was the holiday season and he was alone. He had left it too late to go visit his mother in Florida, and, being Jewish, he didn’t really celebrate Christmas anyway. Maybe he should find some work to do. It was pathetic, he knew, to be working over the holiday period, but at least then his mind would be on something other than these puzzling thoughts.
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Oh holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Saviour’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming
Here come the wise men from Orient land
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our needs
Our weakness is no stranger
Behold your King
Before Him lowly bend
Behold your King
Before Him lowly bend.
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord
Oh praise His name forever!
His power and glory
Ever more proclaim
His power and glory
Ever more proclaim.
