Thursday
1 Poppy-seed bagel with cream cheese
1 Large coffee with milk and 2 sugars
3 Wint-O-Green Life Savers
When I was twelve , my mind's eye would sometimes flash on excrutiating images from the night I lost my mother. they destroyed me, but I couldn't stop. The worst thing you can do in that situation is order your mind not to think of something. You know, the old "don't think of an elephant" problem. So I invented these tactics for distraction.
The first line of defense was to think about kids at school. Not my friends, exactly, because I didn't have many of those, but the people I fantasized about being friends with. I'd weave these scenes filled with cute dialogue about the fun we'd all have palling around together.
The second line of defense was imagining a boy to fall in love with. What would he look like? What kind of things would he say to me? Would it be love at first sight, or would it take me a few minutes to overwhelm him with my charm?
If those two didn't work I exiled my mind to listing European capitals, which my dad made me memorize when I was three.
And finally, if my mind offered absolutely no place to hide, if thinking at all was sheer torment, I would destract it by cataloging what I'd eaten the day before.
Tonight, lying on the floor of my room, the first three attempts led to:
1. Heather
2. Sam
3. Belgrade
I skipped directly to yesterday's breakfast.
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Friday
