Redbook 1999

KC: Yes-that it's important to tell someone how beautiful they look and what they mean to you on a daily basis. I tell my children every day that I love them-sometimes four or five times in a day. It doesn't preclude me from disciplining them. But when I kiss them good night or I talk to them on the phone, the last thing we tell each other is how much we love and miss each other.

Redbook: Did your mom and dad tell you they loved you all the time?

KC: They did. My dad played with me and held me, you know, and I remember one of my favorite things now, which I didn't like at first, was when he'd get tired and he'd say, "Let's take a nap. I want to take a nap, and I need you to lie down too." I realize he wanted me to lie down because otherwise I would make so much noise. Now I take naps, and I love it when my kids lie down with me and take a nap. But mom was the demonstrative one in our family-the one who would talk to us about love, about what it meant.

Redbook: How would your children describe you? Tough? A pushover?

KC: I don't think "pushover" would cross their minds. Look, I'm in love with my children. I'm just so anxious to see every phase of their lives unfold. I see the report cards. I have seen them in their sporting events, their school plays. I just think, aren't they great?

Redbook: How has being divorced changed your relationship with them?

KC: My window of opportunity to be with them has been cut in half. That's a logistical reality of the separation. But what you do is make sure you take that time when it comes. You don't want to be a weekend dad or a once-a month dad. And you don't want to turn into a Disneyland dad. Cindy and I have really worked hard at being there for them and loving them. Children have to be comfortable hanging out with you. Cindy and I both are available to them. We've been really blessed that we can give them opportunities around the world, but there's something to be said for just taking a Sunday and not even going to the park. We can just be at home and enjoy each other. When my two weeks with them come up, it's not about how fantastic a two weeks I can make it.

Redbook: Did you talk with your kids about what divorce means and how it would change their lives?

KC: We talked all about it. The divorce was something we had to deal with. You have to try to judge what you're going to tell children versus what you're not. And certainly the kids will have their own emotional scorecard on how we did. As they grow older, they will be able to form in their minds whether we helped them or not. They might come back and say, "Guys, you know, in a rough spot you really did well and we hope we can do as well if, God forbid, the same thing should ever happen to us."

Redbook: Your 14-year-old daughter, Annie, is coming to that age when kids have all kinds of doubts about themselves and they're open to peer pressure. Does she talk to you about that?

KC: She tells me everything, and I love it because some fathers don't have that. We talk about boys, we talk about school. I'm sure there is a line she doesn't want to cross with me, but we've been so close, she's comfortable sharing things with me. I try not to let my immediate reactions leap forward when I think there's a problem with anything my daughters and my son tell me. I can't think of anything worse than them not being able to talk with me.

Redbook: Have you talked to Annie about dating and romance?

KC: No, I haven't talked to her about romance. I've talked to her about her own sense of judgment. My children have good judgment, and a sense of themselves. They have a father they know is not perfect-they have living proof. And we talk about that. We're not embarrassed by it. I think they know that they are not going to have unblemished or perfect lives either. I tell them about decisions I've made, and they know they're going to face them, too. I think harder decisions come a lot faster right now for kids. I know some of Annie's friends are going to start to experiment with things, and she's going to wonder if she's slow. She's going to wonder if she needs to try this or that. I think she needs to be prepared to separate from certain friends if she's not on the same path as they are. My kids are such individuals. My 12-year-old daughter, Lily, was voted to the homecoming court but she also wanted to try out for the boy's flag football team. She made it, but I guess they didn't cut her any slack, because she's walking around with a bandage on her nose. She's this living doll, and yet she's got a bandage on her nose. I love that.

Redbook: And you're very close to your son, Joe.

KC: Joe is a ten-year-old with a keen sense of justice, a very strong moral code. I look at him and see that he has a chance to be all those things I wish I could have been.

Redbook: It's a challenge to have three kids, isn't it?

KC: Actually, I have a fourth child, Liam, my two-year-old son with Bridget Rooney.

Redbook: I have to say I'm surprised that you're talking about a child you had with a past love of yours. Isn't that a little touchy?

KC: Well, he's just a little boy, and I want to be there for him. Liam came to Yankee Stadium the other day to watch us film. He couldn't stay out of the action. He's very athletic. He wanted to go right into the infield and be a part of the action. So I held his hand and we took a walk in the infield together. He just followed the ball-wherever it was going, that's where he was going. I loved seeing that.

Redbook: Two boys and two girls! That's an even bigger challenge for a single dad.

KC: I can already feel the girls taking care of me. That's a really interesting phenomenon, isn't it? At the same time, they are being prepared to leave. But you know there's a day in the future when they will come and hold your hand.

Redbook: Let's talk about how you and Cindy came to terms with being around for your kids even though you're living separately.

KC: We intellectually knew what was important. We intellectually knew how we needed to behave. Then you have to deal with the emotions of the heart. But we always were able to fall back intellectually to what we knew was the right thing to do, whether we were feeling that or not. Sometimes intellect can guide you better than emotions. People always say, "Let your heart tell you what to do." Well, your heart sometimes is bruised and it doesn't serve you well to be emotional.

Redbook: How much do you and Cindy talk about decisions relating to the kids?

KC: We don't talk about the daily decisions because we trust each other. The big decisions we talk about. We have a real trust between us. There's a bond that will never be broken. But I don't want to open up our life too much. We're inclusive with each other. How we do it and what we do I don't want to really say.

Redbook: When you went through tough times in your personal life, did your parents support you?

KC: My parents have been my number one role models and have continued to be my friends. I operate in a circle they can't completely understand, but that doesn't mean they can't give me advice. I don't think they supported missteps. They don't have such an unconditional love that they're unable to say, "We disapprove of this kind of thing." But they know who I am. And we communicate.

Redbook: Your kids were in the last movie. Will you do that again?

KC: It's possible that Joe might play a young me in For Love of the Game, because we have the obvious physical resemblance to each other. But for all the kids, being around my movies is like recess. They know their way around the set. People treat them nicely. They're like me. They want to play. It's like a big yard here.

Redbook: How do you deal with the fan frenzy that comes with fame, and how do you help your kids understand it?

KC: Most fans treat me great and are totally normal. I'm sure the kids feel like fans encroach on their time with me, but they have been as graceful about it as I have tried to be. They've seen me put up with a lot and I expect them to do the same. It's important that I don't let fame limit them, because I know it's limiting for me. I don't want my kids saying things like "Dad can't go there because a lot of people are going to bother him."

Redbook: Don't they love the perks that come with being children of a star?

KC: I tell them all the time that they're special. I tell them every day, and in the same sentence I make sure to tell them they're not better than anybody. They believe that because I hammer it in: "You are not better than the person who waits on you or the person who takes the time to go get you something." It's very simple to say thank you and to mean it. I hope that they take a lesson from how I am with people.

Redbook: So, what attracted you to For the Love of the Game?

KC: It's probably the role I've been headed for my whole life. It's so much about things I know about. It's very close to me. It's a perfect game set against an imperfect life.

Redbook: If, like your character, you had to sit down and watch flashbacks of your life, would that be painful?

KC: Let's just say this one is as close to the bone as you can get.

Redbook: Meaning showing mistakes and all?

KC: Yeah, blemishes and everything.

Redbook: People think they know all your mistakes, or a big chunk of them. How do you feel about that?

KC: The information they have is not correct, but that's something you'll never correct. You cannot change people's perception of you. The only thing you can change is yourself. What I do speaks louder than anything I could say. What's happened in my life isn't a crime. It's not something you have to be forgiven for.

Redbook: Among people's perceptions of you is that you're flirtatious.

KC: Flirtatious is a characterization that probably hasn't helped me. I don't know how else to be with somebody. I'm not in a position to try to defend myself, and the people who watch my movies or read about me are not in a position to be judging me. I'm not embarrassed about my life. I wish I had a life that was mistake free, but if you take a big bite out of life, it generally is going to take a big bite out of you. I am a risk taker, I am evolving, and I experiment with my life. It hasn't always had great results, but it's had terrific results in a lot of ways. I've been unafraid to try things.

Redbook: Now that you're single, will it be harder or easier to experiment?

KC: My evolution as a single guy is on a real public stage. I'm going to pay a price on some level. But I don't want to be timid. Maybe I could be more guarded in my life, but I love living life with spontaneity. There will always be people who’ll judge that, you know.

Redbook: Are there times when you just think, This is more than I ever asked for?

KC: I have had the life I dreamed of in a lot of ways.

Redbook: And did you always dare to dream this big?

KC: I dream of big things. I work for the small things. If you're going to dream, you might as well dream big, A lot of that came from my mother. She was adamant about the work ethic-about how you can't just dream things. She wasn't a person who believed in blind, dumb luck. But she gave me the ability to dream-to believe you can do anything. Not everybody can do everything, but she instilled in me that it was possible, and I was dumb enough to believe it.

Redbook: What happens when your dreams don't come true?

KC: If it's a true dream or desire, you don't give up on it. Failure doesn't kill you; it increases your desire to make something happen. I've had low points. I thought I wasn't going to make it as an actor. The names that were constantly being thrust at me were Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn and Timothy Hutton and Richard Gere and Mel Gibson. These were guys who were all working. I had no credits. And I thought, well then, I'm going to start writing. Then it began to happen for me. But I went for seven years without making any money in acting, and I was really okay with it, because I had my eye on the ball.

Redbook: How do you gauge whether you're measuring up to your own goals?

KC: If you wonder if you’re living your life right, think ahead to your deathbed and look back. Then ask yourself what you would do differently. I think that's a good thing to do sometimes. It helps you live your life today. But, sometimes, I wish life was as simple as a baseball game.