Learning To Live Again
Big thanks to Marsters’ Girl for beta’ing these chapters!
Also, thanks to
Vette, Esther and JM for all the reviews!
I love you guys!
“Hey." Buffy walked up
to the gravestone Spike was leaning against, and watched him stub out his
cigarette.
"Hello, love.
Ready for patrol?" He
asked, and fell into step beside her as she nodded.
They walked in amicable silence until, from out of
nowhere a vampire jumped in front of them.
Buffy calmly retracted her stake as it snarled at them, and slammed it
into the Oriental’s chest. He turned to
dust, and Spike began to move on, but Buffy stood in front of the pile.
"Buffy?"
His voice brought her out of her contemplation and she nodded, before
starting out into the graveyard again.
"Oh, before I forget." Buffy said suddenly, stopping and reaching
into her jacket pocket. She produced a
black leather collar and held it out to Spike.
The vampire laughed as he took the proffered
gift. He held it up against his
neck. "Do you think it goes with
the bell?"
Buffy giggled and Spike smiled. His smile disappeared as she moved forward,
taking it from his hands. She moved so
that she was toe to toe with him. Buffy went up on her tiptoes as she reached
up, attaching the collar around his neck.
Her gentle eyes never left his owlish ones as she
smiled at him, "Very nice."
She whispered, slowly retracting her hands.
She stood down and tucked away her stake. She carefully reached for his hand,
entwining their fingers. Spike looked
shocked, but said nothing as she tugged him along beside her.
"Here, do you want this?" Spike asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
"What?"
Spike reached inside his duster pocket with the other
hand and produced a second small cowbell. This one, however, hung from a length
of black, silk, material that had been looped round the restraints, which would
have held it to the cow.
"Now I
have two." She murmured.
Buffy laughed lightly, her laughter turning louder as
he rang it twice. Her hand reached
forward and took the bell. They
continued to walk in silence. Buffy
occasionally rang the bell, which caused her to giggle through the quiet.
They came to a bench in the middle of the park and
Buffy sat, tugging Spike down with her.
She sighed and threw her head back, admiring the stars. After a few minutes she began to get a crick
in her neck, and she slid her body down so she was lying across the bench, her
head in Spike's lap. She moved their
entwined hands so that they rested on her stomach as she continued to stare at
the twinkling lights in the sky.
"Did you know stars don't really
twinkle?" She said suddenly. "They're just so far away we think they
do."
"Think I read that somewhere." Spike murmured, looking down at her.
"I think that’s kinda sad. So many people look out into the sky, and
are in awe of something that doesn't exist.
Something that's just an illusion." Her voice broke and she turned on to her side so that he couldn't
see the tears in her eyes.
Spike sighed silently, rubbing his thumb over the back
of her hand in an attempt to soothe her.
He wanted to just reach out and hold her but didn't want to over step
the boundaries, which was getting harder and harder, especially since she was
making them more fuzzy as of late.
She sniffed then spoke, "Do you know what the
constellations are?"
"I can only remember a few." Spike admitted.
Buffy sat and leaned her head against his shoulder and
listened as he pointed out the Big Dipper, Orion, Polaris and many more. She shivered.
"Cold, pet?" Spike asked and she nodded.
"Do you want to call it a night?"
"Walk me home?" She asked and Spike nodded.
She took his hand again, and the two walked back to the Summer's house.
At the door they stopped and Buffy let go of his hand;
at the loss of her touch Spike felt immediately bereft. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Okay."
Buffy agreed, then moved forward and pressed her lips to his. Her hand moved behind his head to keep him
there as she deepened the kiss. She
felt Spike's arms move around her, and her other hand moved around his neck as
their kiss intensified.
A noise from the house broke it off and Buffy smiled
and pressed her lips briefly to his, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Buffy." Spike watched as she smiled then walked into
the house, closing the door behind her.
He walked home stiffly, very stiffly.
*
"Hey, Buffy, how was patrol?" Willow asked, greeting her at the front
door.
She smiled falsely, though answered truthfully,
"Fine, not much out there though."
"If things get really slow you could always stake
Spike." Willow said lightly,
hoping for a smile. But, when all she
got was a wince she hastily retracted her steps, "I'm only kidding.”
"I'm going to go to bed."
"Um,
Buffy, wait." Willow caught up
with her at the stairs. "You know
I was thinking - if you want to talk, I'm here. No one else is up."
"There’s nothing
I really need to talk about."
"Are you sure, cause you know you
were..." Willow trailed off at the
slayer's painful look.
Buffy nodded, "I think I'm gonna go out
again."
"Buffy!
Wait, I'm sorry..." But the
slayer was already out of the door.
*
"Spike.
You awake?" Buffy looked
down at his half-naked figure and swallowed.
Spike slowly opened one eye, from his position on top
of the bed, "Yeah. Hi, what are
you doing here? Is everything
okay?"
She looked at him hopefully, "Can I stay here
tonight? Willow's in a 'lets talk' mood
and I'm really not."
Spike got up and grabbed his t-shirt, putting it back
on. "Sure. Sleep there. I'll go upstairs.
"You don't have to. It’s a big bed." She
kicked off her shoes and shed her jacket before sliding in the other size. She felt Spike get in and she curled up next
to him. "Why do you have such a
nice bed?"
"Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I should be
in a coffin." Spike said, wrapping
his arms around her as she poked at them.
"Matter of opinion." Buffy commented. Spike growled, and she
laughed before snuggling down on his chest.
Minutes later Spike heard her breathing change, and he
pulled her closer to him as he fell asleep himself.
*
"Oookay, Spike.
Where do'ya keep your coffin?"
Xander badly drawled as he searched about Spikes crypt looking for
him. Willow had called him and he'd
offered to ask Spike if he knew where the absent slayer was.
Xander paused
when he saw the small handle of the trapdoor below him; frowning he slowly
pulled upwards. On his second go it
moved, and on his fifth attempt he managed to pull it open. He carefully walked down the stairs,
grateful for the lamp, which illuminated the downstairs area.
He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight that lay
before him, on the bed. His eyes bugged
and his mouth dropped open.
"Harris, if you scream I swear I'll kill
you." Fortunately, Spike's voice
prevented the whelp from fulfilling the vampire's prediction.
"What the hell..." Words escaped Xander, which didn't happen too
often.
"Is there a reason you're in my crypt?" Spike asked, when Xander continued to simply
stare.
"What is she doing here?" Xander asked instead.
Spike looked
down at the girl in his arms, then back at Xander, "I'm gonna go with
sleeping for six hundred, Alex."
Buffy let out
a little giggle, "Or maybe listening?" The vampire tried again.
"Buffy,
everyone’s worried about you. Giles is
worried. Willow's scared." Xander tried again when the slayer made no
attempt to move. "Dawn's
crying."
Buffy sighed
at that last one. She got up and slid
from the bed; slipping on her shoes she crossed to Spike and leant down,
pressing her lips to his in a sweet, tender kiss. "Thanks for last night."
"Anytime,
pet." Spike responded and Buffy
smiled. She picked up her jacket and walked out, an angry and shocked Xander in
tail.
*
"Buffy?
Buff?" Xander repeated for
about the forth time. "What did
you mean 'thanks for last night'?"
He asked suspiciously.
"Pretty much, 'thanks for last night'" Buffy replied, turning the corner to her
street.
"What did you have to say thanks for?" Xander tried again.
"He let
me sleep with him." Buffy answered
offhandedly.
"He
WHAT?!?" Xander shrieked
Buffy looked
over at him and laughed through a frown, "What?"
"Buffy, that’s SPIKE! Peroxide un-dead! Deadboy
junior! Eighties..."
"Yeah, Xander.
Oddly enough I know who Spike is!"
She replied sarcastically and walked in through the kitchen door. Within seconds Dawn burst through, running
into Buffy’s arms.
"I was so scared you'd gone again." Dawn whispered through the tears, and Buffy
looked remorseful.
"I'm sorry I scared you." Buffy said quietly, her eyes moved to Willow
who spoke.
"Where were you?
We were worried."
"I was with..." She began, but Xander interrupted.
"SPIKE!
She was with Spike." At the
room's blank faces he continued rather hysterically. "Am I the only one who has a problem with this?"
"You were with Spike?" Willow asked quietly, her eyes wide. Dawn pulled out of the embrace, and stared
up at the slayer with humored eyes.
"I just spent the night there." Buffy said, and then realized how that
sounded. "Too sleep. With him.
But not with him. But with
him. You get what I mean? Right?"
Willow smiled and nodded while Dawn gave Buffy a
cheeky grin then rushed back to Tara as she was called for a TV program. Xander spluttered incoherently in the
background, but the two girls ignored him and followed Dawn into the sitting room
to watch cartoons.
*