Startling Realisations
Friday, December 5th, 2003
Startling Realisations
A Billy Entry
Somehow, it hit me. I don't know why I didn't see it before. But of course, in hindsight everything seems so crystal clear.
I mean, it's not like I knew the bloke that well. A drink with him doesn't make us best mates, does it? But as MS said, I had seen him, but I didn't necessarily know him well. And that's the way it is with Leon. For now, at least.
Hell, now that I've seen him, now that I know for certain, Christmas Eve seems so very far away. Why wait until then? There is a lot to be said for romanticism, but I'm not sure I can hold out for it. He's right there, tangible and real for once, and still out of my reach. By his own boundaries.
I've told Dom I know. That he doesn't have to try and keep it from me anymore. But he told me that I was wrong, and I shouldn't be guessing anyway as it was supposed to be MS's surprise for me. But I could tell by the astonished look on his face that I was right. He was surprised that I had managed to guess, and frankly, I am too. I tried to pester it out of him, just to hear him say "Yes, you're right Billy, oh smartest-of-geniuses, it's Leon," but frankly, he clammed up after I confessed I knew. He's probably worried about what he's going to tell Leon. Still, I've never wanted to talk to someone about anything so much, and Dom was the only one I could go to. I wish I could tell him that it's all right, that it doesn't matter that I know. I'll wait until Christmas Eve. I'll feign surprise when Leon knocks on my door. He doesn't have to know of my discovery.
But every time I open my mouth it seems, Dom looks away and leaves the room, with a look on his face that for some reason hurts me to see.
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