Letter and Reply 30
Wednesday, December 10th and Thursday, December 11th, 2003
Letter and Reply 30
Delivered at 2:13 pm, Wednesday, December 10th.
Dear Billy,
I’m very glad to hear that you and Dom are still mates. I’m sure he considers you his best mate as well and never meant to hurt you. He wouldn’t do that, ever, on purpose. I think perhaps he’s just gotten wrapped up in the stress that this month always seems to bring. There are just too many things to think about; especially within the postal system, I’m sure, you know. He’s probably just in a jam about what to get you for Christmas, you know.
Speaking of which, is there anything in particular you would like? I don’t recall ever asking you. Or maybe I did, and you had replied with something a bit romantic and I got so caught up in your words that I forgot about most of the remaining thoughts. That happens to you often, I suppose.
I’m glad your letter didn’t get ‘lost’ in the mail. It would have been missed. But I’m sure we can depend on Dom to take care of anything you hold dear, love. He holds you at top priority, whether you two are on odd terms or not.
You know he’s been worried about you? He swears he can’t stop. He’s so afraid that you might get hurt with all of these letters flying about. It’s just too much mystery, he thinks. But he knows how much it means to you, and if that’s the case, he wouldn’t hold you back for the world. Not even if he must tell me incessantly what you ‘must be up to’ every second you aren’t around.
But, don’t worry, Billy. I’ll try to assure him that you’re quite safe. I know you can make your own decisions, love.
I stepped outside today, and I could almost predict the skies opening up with snow. I suppose it was just meant to be a cold and empty day, but it has been awfully cold for being as empty as it is. There really should be snow. Only for you, if for no other purpose. And certainly not to make me sick. After all, that is forbidden. I promise I won’t get sick.
Sweetheart, when will you keep me warm? Christmas Eve is fourteen days off, and I just can’t wait. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t wait. But I need this time to think of you, perfecting my heart for you on the day you see me for who I am and not for whom I pretend to be anymore. I want to cover you with some captivated evening and fill you up, pouring my words over you lips. We’ll hide together from this cold, amid the bitter season. I’ll take your hands and cup them to my mouth and whisper all the sweet things around them. Then you can hold all of my secrets in your palms and watch through your fingers how they glow when I’m near you.
I promise all of this.
Tangled with You,
MS
Delivered at 6:15 pm, Thursday, December 11th
Dear MS,
I think I might go Christmas shopping on Saturday, when Dom is at work. That way he's not tempted to come with me. After all, I've got to get him something good.
And as for you... well, I'm going to want a lot of time to think about what I'll be getting you.
I don't know what to tell you as far as I go. I'm not difficult to please. Besides, I can hardly say you need to give me a gift. You at my door on Christmas Eve is all the gift I'll need.
I don't know why Dom would be worried about me... I am a big boy now, and I can handle my own affairs quite well, thank you. Still, I'm touched by his concern. It's been a long time since I've actually had anyone looking out for me. Not that I need it. But still... it feels good.
I like to imagine the snow on its way, that it's going to arrive precisely when you arrive on my doorstep, and the whole holiday will come together in picture book perfection. With the way I feel daily now, with the knowledge of the day on its way, that doesn't seem to be such an impossibility, after all.
Do you think Dom would give me odd looks if I started crossing days off the calendar, like a schoolchild does before vacation? Because I'm counting the days in my head, and I'd like to see it on paper.
Thirteen, love.
Utterly ready,
Billy
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