A Fantastic Feast and the Announcement of a Lifetime
Thursday, November 25th, 2004
A Fantastic Feast and the Announcement of a Lifetime
A Billy/Dom/Aureen/Austin Chat – NC-17 Warning
Dom: *I bounce down the stairs, fixing a few strands of my hair from falling into my face before landing at the entryway with a proud grin. The whole downstairs is filled with a warm air I can almost taste – gravy, turkey, stuffing...and a bit of soap, since I’ve just washed. I brush down the front of my shirt, (the nice, black button-down one that Billy gave to me on my last birthday, in fact), and start toward the kitchen, following the hurried sounds of Billy mixing something wonderful on the stove, and Mum’s voice as she calls to Dad from the other room. My smile grows when I enter the room and see my Billy, still not dressed for dinner, running about in his ‘messy clothes’ to taste-test all of his sauces and dishes before pronouncing them done; a lovely Thanksgiving dinner, much greater than the one we had last year, and, I’m sure, more than satisfactory enough for my parents and the two of us. I laugh as I come up behind Billy, touching his sides momentarily and leaning in for a quick kiss on his cheek as he blows on a spoonful of gravy.* How many people did you invite for dinner tonight? *I ask innocently through a smile, peaking around the corner to the dining room where my mum is putting down plates; ‘making herself useful,’ she would say. I turn back to Billy and kiss him lightly again while no one is looking.*
Billy: Oh, about half the town. *I tease, looking at Dom with a grin before leaning in to return the kiss quickly. Now that I’m basically done with cooking, I’m feeling slightly more relaxed than I was this morning, considering there were no major mishaps in the kitchen today. Well, maybe not more relaxed. I’ve still got to survive through actually eating what I’ve prepared, so I can only hope that it tastes as good as it should. I take a quick sip from the spoon of gravy I’m holding, nodding with satisfaction, and set it down on the counter before turning to Dom.* Now, all of the sauces have to be dished up. You know where the nice bowls are, yes? Everything else is already set aside in bowls and on plates, so you don’t have to do anything with them except put them all on the table. I’ve even carved the turkey up already. *I hope Dom doesn’t mind that I’m ordering him about like this, but I really need to go get ready, and I’ll need his help if we’re to eat before everything goes all cold.* I need to go wash up a bit and get changed, so just stick some spoons and forks in everything and put them on the table, alright love? *I wipe my hands on a towel and turn to leave the kitchen, turning back to Dom with a grin.* Nice shirt, by the way. You look lovely, Dommie.
Dom: *A smile jumps onto my face in surprise, and I watch him turn out of the kitchen, taking away his beautiful presence, and leaving me feeling as though I’ve just received his game plan for the entire evening to carry out. I stand in the middle of the room, looking about from counter to counter at all of the plates and foods and utensils covering every surface, and I still can’t help the slow grin on my face as I think of Billy setting this all out, checking each thing off from the little schedule in his head. This must be a sign that he’s nervous, I think with a smile, keeping my mind fondly on Billy as I bend down to a cupboard for the gravy dishes. I pull out a couple and set them on the only remaining space on the countertop, heading for the stove to get what’s left stewing in the large pots there. I see Billy’s spoon left beside the stovetop and grinning to myself, I dip a finger into the gravy left upon it, thinking I’ll have a taste.*
Aureen: Dominic, stop eating that. *I scold, coming into the kitchen in a flurry to see if everything is served up into its proper bowl. I head quickly for the utensil drawer, passing Dominic without much of a look, (my mind is so much on other things during special occasions), and opening the drawer to gather as many large spoons and serving forks as possible. I begin poking the utensils into each of the steaming dishes set out on the counter, pushing some hair back from my face with my forearm as I work, and glancing back to Dom for another small word.* Here, love, and get these bowls. Put them on the coasters on the table; small ones on the edges, big ones in the middle.
Dom: *I pop my gravy-dipped finger into my mouth as soon as Mum rushes in, trying to hide my guilt despite the fact that she knows everything. I turn my gaze after her as she heads for the utensil drawer and deftly begins to distribute the spoons and forks, giving me orders and causing herself, I’m sure, a great deal more worry than she needs to.* Mum... *I come up next to her and she simultaneously hands me a large bowl of mashed potatoes between two hot pads.* Mum, go sit down, I’ll take care of the food. *I say taking the bowl from her awkwardly and watching as she finishes her work with the spoons, only to take up the gravy dishes and head to the stove.*
Billy: *Once back in our room, I head into the closet, digging into the back of it, the farthest reaches that have not been disturbed in some time. But special occasion calls for special dress, and I have one item of clothing that might fit the bill in this case. I pull out my long forgotten kilt, which I haven’t worn since before I came to America, and begin looking for a shirt. Once I’ve picked out a nice button down shirt to go with it, I begin to change, hoping that Dom’s got everything under control downstairs. But that’s just my own paranoia. Of course he has. And even if he were having trouble, his mum’s down there, and I have a feeling that she’s a woman who can definitely take charge when she needs to.*
Austin: Dom, you should know better than to try and discourage your mother when there’s work to be done. *I say with a grin as I enter the kitchen. With everyone else bustling about I was beginning to feel quite useless, and I figured I should see if there was anything left to be done.* Anything I can do? *I ask, looking between Dom and Aureen for indication of what I can be moving out into the dining room.*
Aureen: Take this one, dear. *I hand Austin a bowl of gravy that I’ve just scooped up and the saucer to go under it, smiling a little at him before turning back to the stove to fill the next bowl. I sense Dominic still standing behind me and I glance back for a moment to hurry him.* Dom, put that bowl in the middle of the table, love. *I speak with a nod, knowing enough from living in a house with three men most of my life to maintain enough patience when they are unable to use their own judgment at times of importance.*
Dom: *I hesitate, heavy potato bowl in my hands, and then sigh, giving Dad a knowing smile as I pass him on my way out the kitchen. Next thing we know, Mum will be making some comment about how all of this work has put unwelcome frizz in her hair, or something to do with the fact that we men didn’t help enough in the kitchen for her to keep her appearance. I smile and set the bowl of potatoes near the middle of the dining table, taking the hot pads and walking back to the kitchen for my next set of orders.* You know, Mum... *I begin with another knowing grin as, just as soon as I’m in the kitchen, a bowl of gravy is popped into my hands.* I’m pretty sure Billy put me in charge of the food so you could relax at the table and be served for once.
Aureen: Ohh... *I sigh, waving Dom away as I hurry to the counter for two bowls, picking them both up and turning back toward the dining room.* Billy is such a dear. *I reply to him as I pass by, reaching the table and setting the bowls down quickly with a soft smile. I stop then at the table and look it over. Everything is so nice; cleaned china dishes, white tablecloth, the salt and pepper shakers filled, and rolled napkins – all of the hard work that Billy has done. He certainly is the best thing that has happened in a long time; I wonder if he ever thinks of himself at all. Well, he should, and save Dominic the spoiling. Oh, but the way he cares for my Dommie is so darling, I don’t know if I could scold him for an ounce of it. I pause and then wave my hand at the thought, getting too lost in my own mind to take care of all of the work left to do. Hurriedly, I turn back to the kitchen, finding Dominic with his gravy bowl, about to head out.* Thank you, love. *I smile at him, touching his arm and becoming instantly wrapped up in some other sentimental thought about he and Billy living here together, making meals together, setting dishes together.* Oh, you are so good for each other. *I speak absently and quickly turn to collect a couple more bowls from the counter.*
Billy: *Finally dressed, I stop in front of the mirror and smooth a crease out of the front of my shirt. I pause to fix my hair briefly, eager to get downstairs and begin dinner, and with one last brush of my hand to smooth out my shirt I leave the room, smoothing out my kilt as I head downstairs. It’s been a long time since I’ve worn this, and it makes me remember being home in Scotland fondly, and I’m glad I’ve got the opportunity to bring this tradition out for once. I’ve really not had a cause to dress up even slightly since being in Lauderville. I walk into the kitchen, smiling to see that most of the bowls and plates have already been moved out into the dining room. I move to the counter and pick up the platter of turkey.* Now, come on then, everyone go sit down. Dinner is served, finally. *I move out into the dining room, smiling happily at Dom as I pass him.*
Aureen: *My face brightens when Billy makes his entrance into the kitchen, and I look at him with a fond smile before he takes up the plate of turkey and I am able to follow him into the dining room, my two bowls in hand. Coming to the table, I set the bowls down and then wipe my hands together finally, sighing as I watch Austin take his seat and decide I should move next to him. I step around the table past Billy, and then notice his clothing with surprise.* Oh, is that a kilt? *I’m sure it is, but it is always polite to point it out before I forget and begin rattling on about something of which Billy is unaware.* Did you bring it from Scotland?
Dom: *I’m stopped in the kitchen, bowl of gravy still in hand, where I was about to make my way to the next room, watching through the entryway as Billy leans over the table and sets the plate of turkey in the middle with a brilliant smile. But it’s more than just the smile that I notice, and maybe Billy isn’t aware, but... My eyes continue shifting down his entire body, down the seam of his shirt, past his waist to...to that; I’ve never seen him wear...that...before. Which is reasonably shocking, since I’ve known him for over a year now and he’s never once indicated that he...wears one. In fact. I wasn’t aware that he had one. And more in fact, I have the feeling I was beginning to forget that, other than his accent...that he is even Scottish because he’s... He’s just my Billy and frankly, well. Well, he’s never worn that before. And this situation is...well, very...different. Since I seem to be having certain feelings, associated with him now, that are making me very worried about entering the dining room at all. Especially now that he has decided to wear it for the first time in front of my parents; I’m starting to think, very sincerely, that he should have given me some kind of warning.*
Austin: *I smile as Billy enters the room, spreading my napkin out over my lap.* Well, I’d hardly think it was a skirt, dear. *I tease Aureen, patting her hand as she takes a seat next to me. When I was younger I was always glad to be English instead of Scottish so I’d never have to wear a kilt, which to me always looked like a skirt, but it doesn’t look so much like a skirt on Billy, just another piece of clothing. Dom looks a bit flabbergasted by it, so I assume he’s never seen Billy wear one before, or at least not often. I take a moment to look over the food, my stomach rumbling helpfully, and I can’t wait to dig in.*
Billy: *I set the turkey down in the centre of the table, looking over the table with satisfaction before pulling out a chair across the table from Dom’s mum and sitting down.* Yes, I brought it from Scotland. I’ve had it for ages, but I haven’t worn it since coming here. *I answer her questions, reaching for my napkin and settling it in my lap. I turn and look back into the kitchen at Dom, smiling again.* Come on then, bring the gravy out. Everything else is here.
Dom: *I watch Billy sit carefully, tucking a bit of the kilt underneath him, the edges rising just over his knees as he bends, his bare legs extending below to the floor. I almost go into a trance, eyes following back up to his knees, across his lap, and then startled to his face as he speaks to me, not registering what he’s said, but thinking it best to just enter the room and sit down. I step close to the table and place the gravy down next to Billy’s plate, eyes shifting toward him nervously as I stand and move around his chair. I pull out the seat across from Dad and sit down, eyes still unknowingly on Billy beside me. My eyes drop to his lap again and I take in a sharp breath, glancing quickly away across the able to distract myself.*
Aureen: *I pluck up my napkin, unrolling it and draping it across my lap as I watch Dominic take his seat. He looks a bit pale, I think. I wonder if he’s eaten all day.* Are you only supposed to wear it at certain times? *I speak to Billy again, indicating to his kilt and smiling sweetly.*
Billy: Well, it hasn’t really been an integral part of my wardrobe. *I say with a smile and a small laugh.* I used to wear it on special occasions back in Scotland. Like I said, there haven’t been many opportunities to wear it since I’ve come over here. *That might change sometime soon though, and I glance over at Dom, thinking about the announcement we’re going to make over dessert. I haven’t even been thinking about it all day because I’ve been so busy, but now it’s back on my mind suddenly, and I’ve got to push it out of my mind before the sheer enormity of the situation makes me nervous again, nervous as I was first meeting Dom’s parents a few days ago. I look away from Dom quickly, because he’s been acting strangely since I came down a few minutes ago, and I don’t need him to help me on my way to a nervous breakdown. I clear my throat and smile brightly at Dom’s mum and dad.* Please, dig in. No reason to stand on ceremony in this house.
Aureen: Well, then. *I speak, looking over the table at all of the steaming bowls; they all look so delicious and so new. I wonder how Billy knew to fix up a Thanksgiving dinner. I wouldn’t have the very first idea about it. Reaching out for a bowl, I look up to Billy with a smile.* I think I’ll have some of this dressing – or stuffing, do you call it? It looks wonderful. *I pick up the spoon from the bowl and begin to serve a helping onto my plate.* Have you had many Thanksgivings here?
Dom: *My gaze flickers over the table, while under it, my hands are fidgeting nervously on the legs of my trousers. Thanksgiving... I saw a show on television about it, and everyone went around the table and said what they were thankful for. That’s what it’s about, yeah? Billy’s thankful for keeping his cookies around my parents, Mum’s thankful for Billy, Dad’s thankful for dinner, and I’m thankful for Billy’s kilt. Bloody hell, I am... It’s gorgeous on him. I wonder what it feels like... His bare legs pressing together underneath; his lovely legs. I love his thighs most, soft and gentle, without the coarser hair of his calves, a sweet milky-pale colour, like no one has ever touched him... Oh, hell, I want to touch him... My glance jumps upward as Dad picks a bowl off of the table in front of me, breath trembling from my tightened chest. I suddenly smile when Dad gives me a look and run my damp palms down my thighs, reaching out from under the table to find something to go on my plate. My hand snaps forward for the potatoes, knocking back a salt shaker. I grapple for as it topples, sending salt in all directions as I wrestle it back upright and plant it on the tabletop, waiting a moment before I bring my hand away from it, watching it carefully as I attempt to reach for the potatoes once again.*
Austin: *What is Dom playing at? He’s gone completely silent, and he doesn’t look quite... with it. Normally I could understand him knocking things over to get to the food, but somehow I’m not sure that’s what it is in this situation. Not that I have a better explanation. I smile back at him, raising an eyebrow before helping myself to the bowl of mixed vegetables in front of me and passing them across the table to Dom. I’m quite sure Aureen won’t be interested in that dish, anyway.*
Billy: *I pluck a roll from the basket before handing it across the table to Dom’s mum.* I’ve only been here for two, but the first one I completely forgot about. Besides, it was just me then and wouldn’t have made for a very enjoyable feast. Last year Dom was here and we remembered, but we didn’t make a big deal about it. *I look over at Dom, who still looks slightly... distracted, and nudge the gravy over towards him, knowing he’ll want that for his potatoes.* This is my first year trying anything that even resembles a full-blown traditional Thanksgiving dinner. *I eye the turkey in the middle of the table nervously, knowing that this is the part I should probably be most worried about, and take a chance, reaching for the fork on the dish and spearing myself a few pieces. I set the fork back down and reach for the cranberries, glancing at Dom again.*
Aureen: *I look at Billy with a touch of surprise and, having set the stuffing down beside Austin, reach for the turkey fork myself.* This is the first? *I ask, taking up a helping of the turkey. I don’t mean to sound too startled, or to suffocate Billy in flattery, by any means. But cooking up a dinner of this proportion, so gracefully, on the first try... Well, I know that’s amazing. I remember my first attempts for Austin and the very start of our marriage; I’m sure he has a few stories of his own about those instances. I wonder if Billy did much cooking before Dom arrived. I know Dominic stopped cooking long ago. Such a shame. I set the turkey fork down near Austin’s end of the table and take the cranberries as Billy passes them to me.* Billy, sometime you must get Dom to make you something for a change. He used to be very good.
Dom: *I glance to Mum and drop some potatoes onto my plate, feeling my heart beating in my chest. Quickly I pass the potatoes along to Billy, thinking it would be better if I didn’t have anything in my hands, only to be handed a large bowl of vegetables from across the table. I look from the bowl to Mum again nervously and scoop more vegetables than I would like onto my plate before setting the bowl aside with shaking hands. I clear my throat, a little roughly.* I... I don’t really... *Don’t really what? Oh, hell. I pick up the gravy bowl quickly and pour a helping somewhere on my plate, hopefully around my potatoes, but I’m not really in the state of mind to pay attention. My plate becomes reasonably drenched and I set the gravy aside, looking up to Billy- Oh, no, not to Billy... My stomach flips and I look instead to Mum with a forced smile.*
Billy: Did you? *I ask, a bit surprised, looking at Dom as I help myself to some potatoes.* You never told me! *It delights me when I learn these little things about Dom. After knowing him for a year, I’m glad to hear there are still new things to know about him. Considering he’s never really done much cooking around the house, it’s not hard to believe I didn’t clue in to that fact. I spoon up some gravy onto my potatoes and pass potatoes and gravy across the table to Aureen.*
Austin: He used to be very good, and I’m sure he still is, or would be if he ever did any cooking around the house. *I look at Billy with a smile, nodding as I reach to serve myself some turkey.* I’m afraid you got duped, Billy, if you thought you were doing all the cooking around the house because Dom was a terrible cook.
Dom: *My throat clears again and I duck my hands under the table to wipe them down my thighs, then reaching out again for a biscuit and not knowing quite what to do with it.* I’m not really... that good... *I look down to my plate with an avoidant smile, setting my biscuit down next to my potatoes, my other hand still under the table, near to Billy. If I reached out a finger, I could touch the edge of his kilt, his skin just below, the bend of his knee, follow the slight curve of his thigh up into...underneath... My heart skips twice and I take a nervous inhalation, bringing my hand quickly atop the table and holding it in a fist next to my fork. I look at Mum, then Dad.* I, uh... haven’t cooked anything in a while. Since, you know... Back home. *My voice comes at a higher pitch than I had intended, and I try to bend it to make it sound reasoning. Taking the turkey fork from Dad as he hands it to me, I begin to take up my helping, looking between the food and my parents with a little more relief.*
Aureen: *I take the potato and gravy bowls from Billy and set them down beside me as I begin to take my servings, speaking to Dom.* It wasn’t so long ago, Dominic. You were twenty something when you started that job at the restaurant, I remember... *I set the spoon back into the potatoes and pass it along to Austin, thinking to myself all the while.* Yes, you were twenty...two, I believe, because it was that year we went to the same place for your birthday. You said you liked it; all of that rich atmosphere. *I look to Billy now with an anticipating smile while pouring on a bit of gravy, careful not to spill.* It was fairly upscale; beautiful lights. Right inside of Manchester. *I nod, passing the gravy now also and giving Dominic a fond smile.* Dom worked as a sauté chef; he was very good. Got a raise at one time; but not long before he quit, unfortunately.
Billy: *I nudge my food around on my plate with my fork, looking down at my dinner before looking back up at Dom. I smile slightly, curiously.* I can’t believe you never mentioned it. *I say with a slight bit of wonder in my voice. It’s certainly not surprising that I’m learning new things about Dom every day but... he was a chef? That’s not really a little thing. And yet he never mentioned it, in all our talk about our lives before Lauderville. Well, I know I’ll be experiencing some of his cooking now, even if it means I have to lock him in the kitchen.*
Austin: *Spooning up my gravy and potatoes, I set them aside when I realize everyone’s had some and pick up my fork to take my first bite. I start with the turkey.* Perhaps Dom never told you because he was quite content to just eat your cooking. I don’t really blame him. Billy, this is delicious. *It is too, especially since this is his first time cooking a meal this large.*
Dom: *Great. I want to sink into my chair and never come back up again. Now that I look like the model “bad son”... as well as fiancé, lover, care-taker, provider... I wonder if Billy will want to mention the marriage at all. I take the bowl of stuffing from the middle of the table and begin to serve it onto my plate. I should say something. But, then, nothing I would say now is going to make it up to Billy, or explain any of my not telling him to my parents. It wasn’t as though cooking was a huge part of my life. I remember leaving the restaurant every day to come home and finally relax; I remember getting pay checks. I don’t ever recall liking cooking in general, or feeling like it was something I could write into my personality description. It was just a job; a job that I just happened to be kind of good at. Which I should have told Billy about. I replace the spoon into the stuffing with a bit of an inward sigh and nudge the bowl defeatedly in Billy’s direction.*
Aureen: *I dip my fork into a bit of my potatoes and take a bite, mouth warming at the delicious flavour.* Mm... It’s all so lovely, Billy. The gravy is just right. *I eye Dominic off and on as I speak, his fingers playing with his fork, still next to his plate, not yet attempting to pick it up.* C’mon, love, don’t you want to try all of the delicious food Billy fixed up for you? *I ask, taking up another bit of potato and watching Dom a little worriedly.*
Dom: *I glance up to Mum quickly and try to smile a bit. This whole mix of kilts and regrets and marriage is getting to be a little confusing. But to please Mum, at least, (and in a way, to please Billy, if he notices), I wrap my fingers around my fork and lift it to my plate, taking a bit of stuffing on the end. I poke the bite into my mouth and chew, sensing the seasoning mixing on my tongue. My eyes flicker to Billy with hesitation, and from his expression I can’t tell if he’s angry at me or not. I swallow my bite and speak to him, for once not thinking about anything below the table.* S’very good, love. Without too much celery; I like it that way. *I smile at him a bit, really looking at him for the first time since I’ve sat down, and realising, as it always seems to so delicately surprise me, just how incredibly beautiful he is. My smile grows softly, and I take a bigger portion of stuffing onto my fork, watching him now without any hesitation.*
Billy: Do you? *I ask a bit breathlessly, relieved that the table seems to be receiving my food well enough. Of course, they could just all be pretending to be kind to me, but... I like to think I know Dom well enough that I’d notice if he were lying. I grin at him and serve myself some stuffing. I look down at my full plate and pick up my fork, taking a bite of potatoes, still grinning at Dom.* Thank you. *I say to the entire table once I’ve swallowed, though I’m still looking at Dom. He still looks a bit... off... nervous, I suppose, but not quite as jumpy as he was a minute ago. I reach my free hand underneath the table and pat his knee gently to reassure him. We’re going to have to keep each other sane if we’re to make it to dessert and our big announcement.*
Aureen: *I munch amusedly on a bite of turkey, watching the way those two can’t ever seem to look away from one another once they’ve started. I see Billy’s hand move below the table, and decide it best to speak; a distraction I suppose. After all, I’m still not quite sure how much Austin realises about Billy and Dominic’s relationship, and it would be a shame for a moment like this to be interrupted by his surprise rather than the innocent topic I intend to offer. I hesitate and then decide on cutting another casual bite of turkey.* Billy. *I clear my throat a bit now, simply holding my fork, then smiling as I catch his attention.* Tell me about your work at the school. Austin doesn’t teach very young children, but I always liked the thought of it. You teach...primary school? What year was it?
Billy: First grade. *I answer happily, ignoring my food and turning my full attention to Aureen’s question. Besides Dom, this is my favourite topic.* Six and seven year olds. I don’t know if I could teach anything else now. I’ve grown too attached to painting and colouring and singing and reading stories out loud! *I grin, knowing that Dom’s parents have probably noticed some of the artwork that decorates our refrigerator.* And the not having to grade papers and tests at home is definitely a plus as well.
Austin: *I smile at that remark, nodding as I chew on a carrot.* That can be tiresome. But I have to admit I like the older students. I never get bored teaching. They always teach me too, bring up new ideas that I’d never considered before. It can be more difficult as far as workload goes though, I agree.
Aureen: He spends more time working than anything. *I add, speaking to Billy with a fond smile.* Even when he’s not working on the papers, he’s always thinking about his day at the school. He comes home with the most interesting stories... *I press my napkin down across my lap, trying to recall any of the stories Austin has told me so far, but not remembering any in particular. All comes with age, I suppose. That’s a shame.* Do you have any stories, Billy? *I ask instead, looking up at him.* About what happens at the school?
Dom: I know one. *I answer before Billy can speak, taking a bite of turkey. Quietly, I look at Mum, and then quickly glance to Billy, a grin beginning to grow out of nowhere as I look away to my plate again, busying myself with another piece of meat and not bothering to continue the story.*
Billy: *I can almost feel myself pale, and I send Dom a sharp glance out of the corner of my eye. I have a feeling I know what story he’s referring to, and I don’t think that’s the kind of story his mum means. Or the kind of story he should ever, ever bring up with anyone but me.* Well. *I say quickly, anything to stop her from asking Dom about it.* You never know what to expect with kids that age. The sweetest ones draw me pictures, and the most rambunctious ones hide bugs in my desk drawers.
Aureen: My goodness, they are clever at that age... *I say, smiling, looking timidly back to my plate.* Almost makes me want another one myself... *I don’t raise my eyes at the statement. Perhaps I should have kept it to myself. Hurriedly, I shake it away, looking back to Billy with a more brilliant smile than was originally on my face.* Except for the bugs, of course. *I laugh lightly, picking up my fork again to eat.* I don’t really want to deal with that. Again. *I glance at Dominic and back to my plate for some stuffing.* Children are very darling, but terribly cheeky.
Dom: *My smile grows when Mum looks at me, and I feel a little more lightness in me than there was only a few moments ago. I love talking about school and children... If only because Billy loves it even more, and grows incredibly anxious and adorable when other people take interest in it. I look back to Billy at my side, smile still waiting on my lips as I take a bite of turkey.* I was talking about another story actually... *The words slip from my mouth and I suddenly want to laugh, Billy looks so nervous. So I wait a while, smiling and chewing, watching him go rigid at the thought of what he supposes I’m about say, which I hope he knows I would never... But it isn’t wrong to have a little fun, yeah? Finally swallowing, I clear my throat and continue.* Remember, Bill? *I wait again, only for a moment, feeling like a horrible bastard when my smile starts grow.* The time, um. The time that darling child put potato bugs down his trousers? And you had to get them out? You told me in a letter once; great story. I laughed. Wish I’d have been there for that. *I look at Mum, enjoying this too much.* Classic. *I add with a wide grin, and then turn back to my food.*
Billy: Oh... *The little sound drops from my lips as I glance at Dom, my entire face heating up rapidly. Bastard. He did that on purpose, I know he did. Made me have dirty thoughts when sitting at the dinner table with his parents. I smile minutely though, not able to look at Dom.* Yes. That was rather awkward. It was a case of peer pressure gone drastically wrong. He put them in his pockets, and by the time I noticed, they were all over. *I laugh softly.* He didn’t seem so pleased with the situation in the end.
Austin: Potato bugs? Yet another reason I teach older students. *I make a face, taking a bite of mashed potatoes, ironically enough.* Of course, there are other things to worry about with older kids. *I glance at Aureen, smiling.* Some children are actually innocent and well-behaved. Our points of view are just skewed because we had Matthew and Dominic.
Aureen: Yes... *I say, still looking at Dominic with a bit of a teasing air.* I've heard stories, from a few friends. They insist that there are polite, mindful little boys and girls in the world, but frankly, I don't think they exist. *I wink quickly at Dom and take a look at Billy as well before having another bite from my plate. Billy's complexion is very curious...*
Dom: *Smiling at Mum subtly, guiltily, I push my food around on my plate, beginning to make a face.* Never heard of one in my life. Have you, Bill? *I turn and raise a brow at Billy, beginning, against my intentions, to smile as I look at him, his cheeks still a bit pink around the edges. I am such an arse. The more I watch him, the more I want to take him into my arms. He's gone to so much trouble to make everything perfect and I've just flustered him.*
Billy: Not around here. *I mumble, pushing a blob of mashed potatoes back to the centre of my plate, little smile still lingering on my lips, looking at Dom out of the corner of my eye, because I still don’t dare to do any more than that unless I want to go beet red again. My smile grows, and I look up at Dom’s mum and dad again.* Most of my students this year are pretty well-behaved. Not as many troublemakers as last year, or the year before that. They’re certainly more well behaved than anyone around here. *I spear a piece of turkey, dipping it into the gravy before biting with a smile.*
Dom: I'm not quite sure what you mean... *I direct at him, hiding a cheeky smirk. His lovely smile has come out again, like sunshine. And I begin to smile even more, feeling caught up in our joke, apart from everyone else in the world.*
Aureen: I think I know exactly what he means. *I retort to Dominic with an amused huff, taking a sip of my water and then setting the glass down as I swallow.* And I'm sure it's all coming as a hilarious shock to you, Dominic. *His expression grows more giggly than before. I look to Billy and lean in with a hoarse whisper.* Such a smart arse; you have my permission to pinch him whenever he needs it.
Billy: *I shake my head, finally turning to look at Dom for a moment before glancing back at his mum.* I’m afraid I’ve been doing that for a long time without your permission, Mrs. Monaghan. I hope you don’t mind too much. *I look back at Dom for a fond moment, then shake myself out of it, because I know if I stare at Dom for too long I’ll be unable to look away. Looking back over the table, I clear my throat softly.* Does anyone need anything passed to them?
Austin: *I watch the three of them with a grin, glad to see that some things haven’t changed, will never change. Dom will always be the same cheeky devil he was when he was a child; no amount of age or experience will ever be able to take that away from him. I shake my head at Billy’s question.* No thanks, Billy. It’s wonderful, but I think you’re going to have leftovers for a week. There’s enough food here for the whole town!
Aureen: *I shake my head and speak to Billy with a smile.* No thank you, love. No more for me either. I might soon pop. *I spread my napkin down again out of habit and shift back in my seat, getting a little more comfortable now that I'm sure I'm almost completely full.* Stuffed with potatoes and...well, stuffing. I suppose that's what it's for. *I laugh lightly and glance at Austin to see that he's about finished with his dinner as well.*
Dom: *I'm still scraping the last bits from my plate, a piece of turkey in some gravy, the vegetables I've been putting off... I eat a few of them, anyway, before finishing the better bits and looking up from my plate with a broad smile. I swallow and begin to reach for my glass of milk.* It's turkey sandwiches for the rest of the week. *I say to everyone, still smiling and taking a drink of my milk. I watch the drink sway in my glass as I set it on the table, feeling much better now that I've washed everything down.* Turkey sandwiches and turkey...casserole. And turkey omelettes. *I brighten and send a smile to Billy at the statement.*
Billy: *Looks like dinner’s over... what’s next? Oh yes... dessert. At that thought my heart gives a powerful leap in my chest at that idea, and I look a little nervously at Dom.* I hope everyone’s saved a bit of room for dessert? *I say softly, nudging the last of my scraps around on my plate. I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat dessert, myself.*
Aureen: *I'm about to object, on instinct I think, to Billy's proposal of any more food of any kind, when I reconsider the fact that something sweet sounds like a very good complement to all of this salty stuff. I look over the table hesitantly, and then begin in a tone that suppresses how eager I am to try something with sugar.* You've fixed more to eat, Billy? I can't believe how much work you've done for us! *I grin at him fondly; he is such a good match for Dominic. I was always taught that you learn most about your partner's character in the presence of your parents. And Billy is doing a brilliant job as a host. Not to mention, he's practically the most charming person I've met. Absolutely charming. And adorable. I'm sure Dom has already devoted plenty of time to each thought. I scoot back up in my chair, ready to see what Billy has made for the last course, bless his heart.* Well, I don't suppose I shouldn't miss out on this last bit, then. What kind of dessert do you have at Thanksgiving?
Dom: *Then the thought strikes. Dessert?? My smile is suddenly stopped, along with my heart, and everything else. I look from Billy, to my parents, down to my hand in about a second, as if I know what I'm doing to myself; as if I think I'll need it. There it is on my finger. Shining out in the open for the whole world to see, and for the first time since I've put it on, I don't want anyone to see it; I want to take my hand away and hide it under the table, in my lap, in the dark, where it won't glitter so brightly. Where Mum won't notice, and Dad won't notice, as if that will make this situation disappear. My thumb moves to trail along the ring, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Drawing attention to it? I quickly look away, my heart finally beating in my chest again, at a thousand miles an hour, because I can see everything that's just about to happen flashing before me. But the images used to be happy and hopeful and now they're just... well... impending. After all of that talking I did to calm Billy down, I'm the one who's going mad? I was so sure that this was going to be wonderful, and now I just know that my parents are going to disown me. Not because they don't like Billy, not because they don't think he's incredible, not because they don't think he's the best thing that has ever happened to me... Billy is...everything. He's my everything. Everyone loves him. This is all just because... because I'm getting married. I'm settling. I want to be a husband, with wisdom and responsibilities and security and a lifetime of promises and commitment and weddings and homeownership and three cats. My parents. Are going to have. Heart attacks. I feel myself beginning to shake and my gaze automatically flickers to Billy. Somehow, from out of my madness, I begin to think that as long as Billy doesn't get up for the dessert, we won't ever have to face this terrible issue. It just won't exist anymore. As long as he stays here in his seat... I grasp Billy's hand under the table and hold it in mine, lacing our fingers securely.*
Austin: Whatever it is, I’m sure I can find room for a bit of dessert. *I pat my stomach and grin at Billy, knowing that as full as I am, there’s always room for something sweet. I wonder about the change in both Billy and Dom’s expressions though, at the mention of dessert. Perhaps Billy is nervous about his cooking. He has no need to be, not after the meal so far. That still doesn’t explain Dom, though.*
Billy: *Dom’s hand finds mine unexpectedly under the table, and I don’t have to look at him to know what he’s feeling. I squeeze his hand tightly; afraid to look at him really, because I know I’ll fall to pieces here and now if I do. I smile nervously at his parents, not even really bothering to hide my anxiety from them anymore. They’re going to find out soon enough. Suddenly everything that Dom’s told me in the past few days, about how his parents will be happy for us, happy that we’ve made this decision, flies from my head, and I’ll I’m left with is the blinding terror that I felt before knowing anything about them at all. But this has to be done. This can’t wait any longer, or we will never do it. We’ll lose our nerves and stay silent for the rest of the evening, pretending that nothing important is hanging on our hearts. Giving Dom’s hand one last desperate squeeze I let go, standing and beginning to clear the table of dishes.* Give me a hand, Dom? *I ask quietly, looking at him finally as I stack plates.*
Dom: *My eyes lock with Billy's, and I nod, pulling my napkin from my lap and pushing out from the table.* Okay. *He's standing up. Why did I let go of him? I get up from my seat and follow him around the table, gathering plates behind him uncertainly and hoping that I can somehow find a way to keep him from going into that kitchen. I take a step close after him around the end of the table and absently pick up the half-emptied bowl of stuffing, and my mum and dad's plates, the dirty silverware, and then before I know what's happening, I'm following right after Billy into the kitchen with all I've collected. My hands are trembling as I put the things down on the counter and once my arms are emptied, I turn to Bill and shudder out a sigh. Of course I'm glad to be away from my parents' watch, but this situation is really no better. What should I do when Billy goes for the pie? Grab it from his hands and block him as I throw it through the window?? Holy shite, it's like pie = marriage.* What now? *I ask finally, heart in my throat.*
Aureen: *Normally I'd offer to help clear things away, as soon as the need was mentioned. But here I am, waiting in my seat still. Waiting beside Austin at the table with a slight look of worry. There was something about Billy's colour, Dominic's expression... Something wrong. The sudden tension in the air as they spoke persuaded me to stay where I am. Not to help. This once. Why are they both being so quiet? I hear Dominic speak in the kitchen - goodness it's only a room away - and I can't make out his words. It seems as though "dessert" was the wrong topic for tonight. But what on earth could have happened to it? I hate to see those gentle frowns on their lovely faces; I do. Oh, I do. I can't even speak to Austin anymore; everything seems so fragile.*
Billy: *My gaze holds steadily on Dom, hands reaching out for his as I set the dishes down on the counter. Fingers grasp fingers, and somehow I feel the strength flowing from Dom’s hands into mine, even though from his expression I can tell he feels like he doesn’t have any. Well, he’s given me some.* We have dessert. *I say with a faint, fluttering smile before pulling him into my arms, holding him tightly.* And we tell them. As we planned to. Because everything will be alright Dommie, just as you told me it would be. They’ll be happy for us, overjoyed. I want to tell them, love. I want them to know how much we love each other. *I let my hushed voice die, though there are a thousand other things I could say to win his confidence back, and press my cheek against his.*
Dom: Dom: *I love you, I want to say. I love you so, so much. But I can't. Because it breaks my heart, the way he stops speaking, the way his heart trembles against my chest, and the way I feel the heat rising between our cheeks. It breaks my heart that I can't say anything to him, because anything I would say now would unravel everything I've told him was true. And if anything, I don't want his heart to get broken too. My brow furrows, and I press my cheek more closely to his, hoping that the nearness will somehow ease all of the tension; it has to, doesn't it? Billy always makes me better. I shake, feeling like tears are going to come into my eyes at any moment, which is bloody crazy, I know it's crazy; it's not right. But I just don't feel any better. What's going to happen? I tremble as I inhale, holding Billy tightly before pulling away. I want to see his eyes, to know that he'll be with me. But once I look at him, it's too late to hide what I'm thinking; I can already feel wetness in my own eyes as I search over his face, and it's only growing as his gaze finds its way up into mine. He is so beautiful. I love him in a way I can't explain to him. And I'm going to marry him. I'm going to marry him no matter what happens tonight, or tomorrow, or ever in my life. My lips pinch firmly together and I take in a long, full breath, confirming myself as I move my hand to curl under his. Then I bring his hand up below our gaze, see the flicker of precious metal on the edge of my sight and look down to it on his finger, resting there where he gratefully accepted it to stay for the rest of his life. My breath shudders out from me, refusing to understand, even as I bend my head and press my lips to that band on his finger and hold to it for moments with my eyes pinched closed. This will never change. I will never be alone. Slowly, I pull away, gently opening my eyes, looking up to his beautiful face again. And if I could only speak, I wouldn't feel all of these terrible and wonderful things all at once. If I could only speak... I wouldn't be bending to take his lips in a kiss.*
Billy: *Dom only has to move halfway because I’ve already had the same idea, pressing my lips up to meet his in a tender kiss. I want to melt away all this tension that surrounds us, to drink it in through this kiss so it’ll leave us alone. But the only way it’s going anywhere is if we steel ourselves and come out with it, telling Dom’s parents and hearing their response. Which I know in my heart will be favourable. I have no doubt. So this kiss is just for comfort, and more than that, for love, because above all else, love is what this is all about. And I will prove it to Dom, day after day for the rest of our lives, in every way possible. And in a moment I will prove it to him in the biggest way possible: by proving it to his parents. I step away from the kiss, reaching up to touch his face with my fingertips.* It’ll be alright love, I promise you. Your parents love you. *I join our hands, watching the metal of our rings brush together, and I smile, letting that smile travel to my eyes and linger as I look up at him.* Why don’t you go clear away the rest of the dishes from the table while I serve the pie, hmm? *I hope that by giving him something to do he’ll relax a little, though I’m probably wrong. It’ll take more than that.*
Dom: *I take in another deep breath, nodding, knowing that Billy will take care of me. He's going to take care of me for the rest of my life. I brush our fingers together as I release his hands, a small smile trailing over my lips. This will all be over with soon. I want to get these butterflies out of my stomach, and I'll only allow the good ones back when I feel Billy near me. My heart begins to race again as I step away from him, wishing I could watch him for hours, brow bending slightly as I leave him and turn back out into the dining room. My parents are still sitting at the table silently, and Mum gives me her most subtle expression of concern as I enter and begin to stack the empty bowls. I try to show her a hesitant smile, though I'm shaking, knowing that she probably thinks Billy and I are in some sort of excruciating pain for no reason that she can understand.*
Aureen: *I probably shouldn't say anything... I'm sure it has nothing to do with me. Or...does it? No, no, that's exactly why I shouldn't open my mouth. I don't know anything about why Dominic and Billy are so upset. I shouldn't go poking my nose in as though I should know something, or do know something, because maybe I don't. They're probably fine. Even though it seems the most unconvincing thought I've ever had. I clear my throat as Dominic picks up the gravy bowl from beside my plate.* Are you... *I begin, but decide quickly that it's not the best way to go about this - asking him if he's all right. I try again.* Do you two need any help? *I speak gently, giving Dom a smile.*
Dom: *My eyes flicker to her, almost nervously, and I shake my head.* No. *I stop and start again, this time with a small smile.* No, we're fine. It's fine. *Why did I have to say it twice? I sigh silently to myself, wishing that I would just stop shaking. I pick up the last of the plates, carefully managing them in my arms and turning back toward the kitchen with another quick smile at Mum. She's not going to hate me; she won't disown me. It's going to be fine. It's fine. But I don't feel it. I step quickly back into the kitchen, wanting to run back to Billy's side where I know it's safe.*
Billy: *My hands are shaking so badly I can barely cut the pieces of pumpkin pie straight without cutting a finger off. I’ve finished cutting a couple, sliding them on plates by the time Dom re-enters the kitchen, setting the dishes down. I hold the plates out to him.* Go give these to your parents. I’ll cut ours and put the kettle on. *I’m going to need a moment or two to collect myself before I head out there. Leaning in, I place a quick kiss on Dom’s cheek before handing off the plates to him.*
Dom: *All that's weighing me down inside suddenly lifts as he kisses me, and then falls again as he pulls away. I take the plates, even though I know it means I'll have to leave him again. I don't move at first, though. I wait and watch him as the seconds tick by, wishing we could get married and break the news later, or something, anything to make this easier. Then I smile sadly, even though he isn't watching, and turn away out of the kitchen again. Mum looks up at me with the same expression. I hold up the plates in my hands for her to see, hoping she'll forget the subject of Billy and me.* I've brought you something. *I say, trying to smile as I walk around the table to stand between both Mum and Dad.* Pumpkin pie. For you. *I put one plate down in front of Mum.* And you. *I put the other in front of Dad.*
Aureen: Thank you, love. *I scoot the plate on the table, looking at the dessert curiously, though pleasantly. Billy has done a very good job with the pie; the filling isn't too dark, and the crust is light. I test the brittleness a bit with my fingers out of habit, then realising that Dom is still in the room and might be offended at my inspection of the food, as though I'm looking for faults. I take a breath and look up to him with graciousness as he walks back around the table to his seat.* Billy is such a wonderful cook. Pies are very difficult. *I wonder if he already knows this.*
Dom: *I sit down, scooting back to the table and smiling minutely at Mum, not really registering anything she's saying. I keep thinking of Billy. Trembling, and thinking of Billy. Within minutes, we could be telling them. And I can't even think of the words we're supposed to say to do it. I don't think I've ever thought of what I was actually going to say. I wonder if Billy's thought of it. He always knows what to do, doesn't he?*
Austin: It looks delicious. *Already I can feel that place in my stomach reserved for dessert growling. I’ve always loved pumpkin pie. I look up at Dominic, who is almost perching on the edge of his chair, like he’s going to bolt at any moment. I wonder what’s taking Billy so long in the kitchen. It’s odd to think, considering Dom is our son, but he only ever really seems comfortable when Billy’s around. Although, that’s probably only natural.* Where’s your pie, Dom?
Billy: *I set up a tray with cream and sugar for the tea, keeping busy as I wait for the kettle to boil. I feel guilty for sending Dom out into the dining room by himself, especially because Dom’s parents by now must know something is up. But they are his parents... they won’t bite. Besides, they’d be even more suspicious if he lingered in the kitchen with me. The kettle boils and I pour the hot water into the teapot with the tea bags, placing it on the tray along with the milk and sugar and our pieces of pie. Taking one last deep breath, I step out into the living room, smiling as I set the tray down on the table and begin to unload everything.*
Dom: *I glance instantly to Billy as he sets the tray down, making little clinking noises as he takes off the tea cups and our plates of pie. Billy sets my plate before me and I look to Dad, voice shaking as I speak.* Here's my pie... *Just the sight of it makes me nervous. I'd pictured sitting here in front of this very pie and thinking these thoughts. But in my imagination, I wasn't shaking like I am now...again. I have a feeling I'll never eat pie again without an unsettled stomach. Didn't we have pie on Christmas Eve? My breath comes in on impulse and I shake it away, looking up to everyone with a slight smile, refusing to pick up my fork just yet. Not until I can move my hands without losing control of them. I think I know now; pie = the obligation to reveal all of my deepest, darkest secrets to anyone near me. I'll have to be more wary of where I am and who I'm with next time I think of ordering pie for dessert.*
Aureen: Oh, tea! *I remark with a smile as Billy sets a cup down before me. I haven't had my tea in a few days now, and I was beginning to miss it. How nice of him to brew some for us.* Thank you, Billy, this is lovely. It smells so good! *I say to him, cradling my cup in my hands and feeling it warm up as Billy pours the steaming tea inside.*
Billy: *I finish pouring the tea, passing the cups around the table before I take my seat, smiling nervously at Dom. My own pie stares up at me from its plate, taunting me, daring me to take a bite, take the plunge, opening this course to confessions. I don’t know if I can actually eat anything. Any more. I can’t believe I managed to choke anything down at dinner. Still, I’d better make a show of it at least. I pick up my fork, poking it into the wedge of pie and raising it back to my lips, though not taking the bite yet.* How is it? *I ask Dom and his parents, smiling inquisitively.*
Aureen: *I finally let go of my warm cup of tea, the smell filling me up like sugar in the air. I pick up my fork and take the end off of the pie and smiling at Billy as I pop it into my mouth. The spices melt instantly, everything familiar and rich about pumpkin pie. I raise my brow at him and continue to move the taste on my tongue.* Mm, Billy, that's wonderful! Where did you learn to make a pie?
Dom: *My fingers tremble around my fork and I lift it to the pie, getting the awful feeling that as soon as I put a cut into the piece I'll be beyond returning. So I wait, holding the fork in my hand, feeling horrible for not trying any, since it is Billy's pie, and he did ask how it tastes. But I just can't bring myself to do it. My stomach turns with guilt, and I simply hold the fork and rest my hand against the table, glancing to Billy and not saying anything.*
Austin: *All it takes is one bite and then I’m practically halfway through the pie, inhaling it though I was sure I wasn’t in the least bit hungry.* It’s delicious Billy, really. The perfect end to the meal.
Billy: *End to the meal... it is, isn’t it? Which means that with every second that passes, we draw nearer to telling them.* Cooking shows. *I answer Dom’s mum’s question hollowly, finally popping the bite poised on my fork into my mouth. It’s rather tasteless to me, but I think anything would be at the moment, including dark chocolate, which is saying something. I wash the bite down with a sip of tea, glancing at Dom to see he hasn’t tried any yet. I can’t blame him. I look back to Dom’s parents, who are oblivious as to why Dom and I are both behaving so off colour, and I feel bad for putting them through this, for making this dinner unpleasant in the slightest. I open my mouth, ready to put us all out of our misery... but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to begin. I look at Dom helplessly. And as much as I hate to put this on him... they’re his parents. I can’t be the first one to speak.*
Dom: *It's so...quiet. That is, we're speaking, sort of... But we're just not...talking about the right things. My fork still rests in my hand, waiting to be used, but I just can't bring myself to eat anything. Just another excuse to get sick and leave the table. I can't put this off, but then...every second that goes by, I feel as though it's being put off. I should just speak. There's that lurching sensation in my chest again as I think of opening my mouth. My voice sticks in my throat and I sigh. My eyes turn to Billy and he's already looking back, looking at me uncertainly, expectantly. My heart goes still. I don't want to think about what he's expecting. My brow bends desperately with a breath, eyes trapped on Billy as if to ask what he wants me to do - but I know what he wants me to do. I don't...want to do it. I just want it to be done. If I could plead his name now, I would.*
Aureen: Really? *I ask in response to Billy's statement, taking another bite of his pie.* I can never seem to keep up with those shows. I suppose you're supposed to take notes, but I always hated taking notes... *I grin at him, putting down my fork to have a drink of tea. The warm liquid hits my lips gently and I take a sip, sighing into the scent of the vapours under my nose. Swallowing, I peek over my cup at Dominic and Billy, noting they're unchanged expressions. In fact, they look even more upset than before. I place my cup down carefully, trying not to act too worried as I speak, changing the subject from that of my thoughts.* Do you watch television often, Billy?
Billy: I... *What is she talking about? Television? When did we start talking about television? Maybe I should start thinking about television, talking about it. It would be a lot easier than the topic that’s running through my mind at the moment. I set my fork down, hands reaching for my napkin to fidget with.* I used to. I don’t watch very much anymore. *Since Dom’s been here, I should add, but I’m sure saying Dom’s name at all will just come out sounding like a plea, and that wouldn’t do. I look over at him again, eyes nervous and questioning.*
Dom: *Billy's eyes flicker to me again. He's waiting. I feel like everyone's waiting. My glance darts to my parents. It's the perfect time - they're silently eating their dessert, waiting for a conversation, and I realise that I could just speak...right now. I could just give one small push, and the entire boulder would start rolling. And if I just do it, right this second, it will be over in only another couple seconds, and I won't have to feel this way anymore. So I move to say something, even a little thing, but that wash of anxiety hits me again and I can't, and my throat tightens. I sigh inwardly, brow furrowing. Disheartened, I press the fork in my hand back to the table, against my napkin, looking at it fearfully. Surely Mum and Dad have noticed by now. Something's wrong. Not with what I have to say; after it's said, I...believe with all my heart that everything will be all right. Something's wrong with me for not saying it. And I'm so, so sorry to Billy for every tick of the clock that passes without my confession. He doesn't know how much I... I'm trying to say it.*
Aureen: *I nod lightly at Billy, not knowing quite how to respond to his answer. I pick up my tea cup gently.* Oh. *And then I stop. What an awful place to stop. I can't simply end everything there. But when I try to think of anything else, nothing comes to mind. And I keep getting distracted, every time Billy looks at Dominic. Dom isn't eating. Not a bite. He hasn't even cut into his pie and now he looks as though he's planning not to. I know I shouldn't ask him anything about it. There's something very serious written on his face that I'm...almost terrified to break. I've never seen him look like this in my life. Hesitantly, I tip my tea cup to my lips, taking a drink and gazing inside the cup as I do so, hoping someone else might say something instead.*
Austin: *I sip slowly from my cup, looking around the table. Something’s afoot, and for once Aureen seems as clueless as I am. It all rests on what hangs between Dom and Billy, the glances they keep giving each other, and I’m just waiting for it all to break out.*
Billy: *Who’s idea was it to do this over dessert, anyway? Oh yes, mine. I can feel all that I’ve eaten sitting heavily in my stomach, and I wonder how long it will stay there. Crap. If I get up from the table now to go throw up, Dom’s parents are going to think I’m bulimic. That’s not what we’re trying to tell them. I look at Dom again, steadily, sorry to be putting this on him.*
Dom: *I can feel the elusive warmth of Billy's eyes on me. I don't know why his gaze has a temperature. It seems crazy that I can feel it, even when I'm not looking. I gaze at the pie on my plate, still untouched, and this time I don't turn to look up into Billy's eyes. My heart is already far enough in my throat as it is; I'd hate to think of what sort of nervous reaction I'd have if I could see him, waiting still. My parents sitting on the other side of the table, waiting. Even I'm waiting. I run my thumb along the stem of my fork, the reflections disappearing under the shadows. My lips open gently.* I... *My voice shakes, heart jumping, and everything abruptly stops. The imprint of the word is left in the cavern of my throat. And I don't even remember trying to speak. Now it's there; one word, hanging on the silence over the table. Shite, I've just nudged that boulder and now it's tipping forward. My panic rises tenfold and my eyes turn to my parents, their gazes glancing back. That sense of expectation in the air suddenly grows heavier, like lead, or the weight of the earth. They want me to say something else. Why do I have to keep saying things? I feel like I'm going to break. Or throw up. And, of all people, I can't look at Billy, because I'm afraid the sight of him will trigger it all, because of how I love him and can't express it. That's what this is, isn't it? I'm telling them how I love Billy; how much, so much. I have to say it while I can still feel my last word over our heads. Before it's gone. I have to. I have to say it; say it. I force my mouth open again.* Well... *I swallow, watching their faces for any sense of disappointment. But this time, I don't stop to even consider stopping again.* Billy and I have something... to tell you.
Austin: *My eyes raise from my empty plate, the last bite of pie balanced precariously on the fork raised halfway to my lips. And here it comes.* What is it, Dom? *This is the time in the conversation that Dom would say that they accidentally got pregnant... if Billy were a woman. But he’s not. So all I can do is wait, Dom’s tone of voice ringing reminiscently to back when he was young and would confess to breaking a lamp or spilling on the carpet, or something equally as dismaying to a parent.*
Billy: *My heart jumps and I’m almost positive it’s going to leap out of my chest, it’s beating so hard. He’s going to say it. At long lost, we’re going to tell his parents. I keep my eyes trained on Dom, hoping to give him confidence through my gaze. I want to take his hand, to squeeze it reassuringly, but I don’t think I can even move at the moment. Say it, love. Say it.*
Aureen: *I don't even look from Dom as my fork clinks to my plate where I was cutting another bite of pie. Somehow it's escaped my grasp, and my hands are clutched together in my lap as I feel my heart fly to a worried and incalculable pace. But I can't stay worried; I can't be anything but silent, shocked at what I'm thinking, longing to know if I have any real idea about Dom's next words, or if I'm simply insane. My eyes waver as they take him in, breathing quickly, trying to judge from his expression what he means, knowing words like his from some other time or place. But they shouldn't be coming from him. This is my little Dominic. This is my baby; and this was bound to happen, but never in reality... Only in my imagination; in the dreams I've had for him. He's... I feel tears pricking my eyes and my hand flies to my mouth, vision becoming blurry. He's still my little baby... Who's all grown up, and living an ocean away, and in love. He's in love. And it's nothing like...like his old girlfriends. All of these empty "I love you"s, the playful touches, meeting girl after girl and wondering what the next one will be like. He's... he's in love, and I don't wonder what the next one will be like. But I didn't even realise I hadn't thought of it until..., and it's stopping the breath in my lungs. The realisation that I haven't heard one empty word between them... And I've seen the reality of it blossoming between him and Billy, each second they look at each other, when they are near each other, fascinated by each other, but it... This was never going to happen to my baby boy. A tear trips over my eyelashes and travels down into the shape of my hand over my mouth. I begin to shake my head against all of it - the thickness of my throat, the trembling, more and more tears.* Mm-mm. *My voice squeaks from under my hand, barely marking the silence, while in my mind I'm smiling brilliantly at Dommie and nodding and loving him so much.*
Dom: *My eyes catch on Mum as she drops her fork and begins to cry, the tears tripping down her flushed cheeks one after another, and she shakes her head. There has never been a moment like this before in my life. I've never been so frightened for my parents; I've never seen my mum like this. Not shaking, so astonished, not with her tears streaming down, her gaze on me, her voice trembling, and I watch for moments until something impossible happens. A bend somehow breaks through my lips, slowly, my countenance shifting, against all of my worry and fear and even some of my might, a smile turning my emotions around in my stomach as I watch her and begin to know...that she must understand. Because mums always understand. Because mums are clever and lovely things. And my smile starts blooming, tears enter my eyes at the sight of her and line my eyelashes, and I begin to nod softly and break with a small, unexpected laugh in spite of my own soppiness. Yes, it's happening. Yes, Mum, I'm all grown up. And I want you to know how much I'm in love. And I'm ready. I'm not afraid anymore... to have a home with someone. Hesitantly, my gaze shifts, and I see him there beside me. I see him. Billy. My Billy. My heart is the only thing I hear as my eyes rest upon him. And gently, I slip a hand under the table to find his, touching his warm skin, losing my breath. Our fingers wrap together gradually, without a sense of time, and my smile is now for him; only, always for him. Our hands are finally laced, and I feel that cold band pressed against my fingers, I take a breath and speak softly as though no one exists in this room but Billy Boyd.* We're getting married...
Austin: *My jaw drops open, and I gape at Dom and Billy, shocked. Did I hear that right? Dom’s getting married?* You’re what? *I breathe, dumbfounded. I never thought I’d see this day. I glance at Aureen, and cue in on the fact that she guessed it before I did, of course. But not much before I don’t think, as her face is still showing the same shock I feel. Still, it’s not an unpleasant shock. Neither is mine.*
Billy: A small gasp escapes my lips, as if he were telling me for the first time as well as his parents. I can’t believe he’s said it. Somehow, even through all our discussing and our planning, I never thought we’d make it to this moment. And yet here we are. My fingers tighten around Dom’s, and I look at him, my nervous lips twitching until they’ve formed a smile, a tiny one that grows slowly. I bring our hands out from under the table and rest them on the table top for everyone to see, all the world if they want to look, because from now on, this is the way our hands should always look. Together. My eyes finally break away from Dom, and I turn to look at his parents, prepared for the worst, but... I don’t see it. I see shock. I see surprise. I see emotion from Dom’s mum, tears, but... I don’t think they’re the kind either of us needs to be frightened of. Somehow, things look like they might be alright. Somehow.* Mr. and Mrs. Monaghan... *I begin, my voice slightly hoarse, and maybe I shouldn’t speak at all, because Dom and I haven’t discussed this. But it seems only right at this point. I squeeze Dom’s hand again before taking a deep breath and continuing.* ...Would you do me the honour of allowing me to marry your son?
Aureen: *My gasp is a long, shuddering sound, coming between my hand and my lips when I hear Dom, then Billy, the tears dropping down my cheeks uncontrollably. I cover my mouth tightly again, and then take my hand away, then press it back. I glance at their hands, entwined together upon the table, and I hope with all my heart that Austin will see how lovely that is. My eyes flood and I look to Billy, then to Dom, then back to Billy, nodding repeatedly, almost speechless until my voice unexpectedly breaks through my lips and I pull my hand away so Billy can hear.* Of course- you can. *I sob, trying to smile, not knowing what I should do. I can't think of anyone I'd rather see Dom with, holding his hand, asking me this question about my Dommie... I gasp another tiny sob and suddenly stand from my seat, shaking as I step around the table to Billy's chair, reaching to embrace him and picking him up into my arms.* Oh, darling, of course you can... *I almost lose my breath, holding him tightly and never wanting to let go. Not until he knows how much we all love him.*
Dom: *I laugh suddenly through my tears as Mum takes hold of Billy, and I manage to stand as well, sure that I'll be the next one she'll need to hug. That is, if she can ever let go of Bill. I step closer to them and put a hand to Mum's arm with a knowing smile, reminding her to let Billy breathe, which I'm sure she's forgotten. Knowing her, she'll probably want to take him home to England now. And maybe I'm a little jealous, now that I've never felt so in need of holding him, of having his hand back in mine, and I know I'll probably be the last one who's able to do so now that all has been said.*
Austin: *I feel my face gradually gain some of its coordination, remembering how to move again, and my look of shock melts into a small smile, then a huge grin. My son’s getting married. And here I was, thinking he’d be young and irresponsible forever. But he’s not. He’s an adult now, making adult decisions, making wise choices like choosing someone like Billy to settle down with. And it surprises me, because I haven’t the slightest problem with Billy being a man. And I’m so glad I don’t. I stand up, going around the table to pull Dom into my arms.* Congratulations, son. *I say, hugging him tightly.*
Billy: *My body goes tense when Dom’s mum first pulls me into her arms and then I melt, believing this to be a dream. It can’t be real, can it? Surely not. Because when Dom’s mum hugs me, it feels almost as if this is my own mum hugging me, congratulating me in the biggest decision I’ve ever made in my life. My arms come around her and I’m squeezing her tightly then, my own eyes leaking small tears. This is real. I’ve been accepted. This is my family now.*
Dom: *I'm surprised when I'm turned about and suddenly Dad is the one holding me. I was under the impression that I always had to be a 'man' around him; men played footie, they talked about footie, they read large books and drank and didn't hug. But this is definitely a hug. And it actually... feels good. My smile reappears and I raise my arms around him, his words finally registering in my ears and my nerves finally spilling out of me, everything pent up from before dessert, everything trapped in my fearful words from a few moments ago. I sigh over Dad's shoulder, arms holding onto him like I only remember doing when I was a very small child. But now, it's much different. Now I think he's ready to let me go, as much as it scares the both of us. Not to mention, I'm tall enough now to hug him without being picked up first. I grin, my eyes dampening again, but holding most of it inside.* Thanks, Dad.
Aureen: *I let a couple more tears fall before pulling gently away from Billy, looking over his face soppily and trying to wipe my face, only to see that his cheeks are now lined with tears as well.* Ohh... *I coo at him, lifting my sleeve to his face and wiping the dampness away gently, feeling the sudden need to mother him. After all, he is going to be my son-in-law. But in my heart, I genuinely feel like I'm going to have another son to care for. My family has suddenly and unexpectedly grown by one person. I couldn't possibly be happier than I am at this moment. I hold Billy at a distance to see him, bringing my sleeve down and revealing his trembling smile. I would so love to embrace him again, but I stop myself, my own lips trembling with the promise of more tears.* Who would have ever thought I'd have another son. *I say to him, smile blossoming across my lips.*
Billy: *My smile wobbles dangerously again as I look at Dom’s mum, how she smiles at me, and her words. How true they feel, and yet so unbelievable. They’re music to my ears. My lip trembles a bit, but I hold in the rest of my tears, though I’m unable to stop my voice from wavering.* Thank you, Mrs. Monaghan. Thank you so much for letting me marry your son.
Austin: *I pull back to look at Dom, still smiling broadly. He looks even more grown up now than he did at the beginning of dinner, if that’s possible. He’s been a man for so many years, and yet I never even noticed it. That’s all changed now. I give him another tight squeeze before letting him go, turning to face Billy, who’s still under Aureen’s adoring attention.* Billy. *I say, holding out a hand to him.* I’m glad to let you marry my son.
Billy: *Is that really Dom’s father saying those things to me? Is he really so willing to let me marry his son? I turn, slipping from Dom’s mum’s hold a bit reluctantly, until I see Austin’s hand held out to me. I take it slowly, shaking it firmly as I give him a grin. Now I know I must be dreaming. This can’t be this easy.* Thank you, sir.
Dom: *I step out of the way to let Dad by, watching Billy's expressions change as Dad approaches him and offers his hand. My heart is beating so heavily for Billy, knowing how nervous he must be as he takes my father's hand, and when I see that smile spread across his lovely face, it sends more tears to my eyes. This is actually happening. Mum is teary, just like I knew she would be; just like I told Billy she would be. And here's Dad, even, happy for the both of us, and I have the memory of a hug, and the sight of this simple handshake, to prove it. Billy looks as though he's going to cry, and I can almost feel my heart stop, only loving him, wanting him so much in my arms I can barely stand anymore. My face is now wet with tears. I suppose I wasn't prepared for how this was going to feel. Because it's... this is actually happening.*
Aureen: *I watch Billy and Austin exchange words, bringing my hand under my eyes as I begin to recover from all of this emotion, only to look up and see Dominic standing alone with tears on his own face. My heart nearly breaks at the sight of him, more tears appearing in my eyes as I step closer. It's only a moment before I've come to him and tucked him into my arms, holding him and rocking him gently, letting him press his damp cheek to my shoulder. I hush him softly and hold onto him with all of my heart.* My baby... *I whisper to him, throat tightening all over again. My voice grows high now and breaks with tears.* I don't want to let you go.
Dom: *A sobbing laugh comes through my lips and I wrap my arms around Mum, recalling the only time she's ever called me her baby before this, that I can remember - when I skinned my knee learning to ride my bike. It was on the walk outside our home in Berlin. I didn't know how to ride off of the curbs yet and I fell, and within seconds, she was outside holding me and kissing my forehead. My baby, my poor baby..., she said. And I got angry and told her that I wasn't a baby. I laugh a little more now, smile spreading across my face, more than grateful now to be her baby again... but at the same time, more than ready to grow up. I lift my cheek from her shoulder and lean our heads close, tears slowing down.* I love you, Mum. *I tell her simply, knowing she won't object; knowing she'll understand what I mean.*
Billy: *I let go of Austin’s hand finally, giving him a happy smile before turning to look at Dom and his mum. So this is love. So this is family. As if life could get any better. More tears spring to my eyes and trickle down my cheeks, seeing how very much Dom’s mum loves him, and yet she’s letting me take him away. I love Dom’s mum. Speaking of love... I watch my love be smothered in the affection he probably hasn’t really had since he was young, and my heart swells. It’s up to me now. I’ve got to give him all the love he’ll ever need. I’m up to the task though, no doubt in my mind. I stand there watching them, grinning as the tears flow down my cheeks. How I love him.*
Aureen: *My breath shatters, a sigh, listening to Dom's words and knowing what he's saying - It's all right, Mum... You can let go, Mum... I'm going to be fine now, Mum... And he's not a baby anymore. No, he's not a baby. I squeeze him, more tears dripping down.* I love you, too, Dommie. I know you're ready for this. *I smile slightly, reassuring myself with my own words; he's ready for this. I slowly pull myself away from him and look into his eyes, seeing that his tears have finally stopped falling. I slide my hands down his arms, heart aching to hold him again, already, but only allowing myself a smile, full of pride and happiness for him.* You're so big. Grown up, I mean.
Dom: *I smile at her, watching her for a few moments, knowing how hard it's going to be for her to leave Lauderville now. We'll have to arrive four hours early to the airport to save time for goodbyes. But that's okay. As long as every hour spent means that Billy and I can be together, and that my parents want us to be together. I do believe that Mum wants me with Billy more than with any other person on the planet. I grin at her and then glance silently over her shoulder where my love is standing. My love. He really is my fiancé now, in every way. He's showing me his most beautiful smile, and my heart has melted away, leaving me standing here without anything to hold in my love. My eyes flicker to Mum happily, and I let my arms fall from her, not needing to say anything else to make her see what I need most right now. I hesitate, and then I look back over her shoulder, caught in a sudden trance and stepping away, around her, past Dad, without a word to either of them, reaching Billy suddenly with a giant, beaming smile, bringing him into me and burying him in my arms, holding him with such a love and excitement that I nearly lift him from the floor, beginning to feel familiar tears in my eyes as instantly as I've touched him.* Oh, Billy, I love you so much. *My voice breaks as I say the words to him, pressing my lips to his cheek and not caring who can see or hear. He's going to be mine forever. The whole universe should know that out of its entirety, I've claimed this one thing as my own, and I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live.*
Billy: *Dom’s embrace squeezes a bit of laughter out of me and I cling to him tightly, looking to him to hold me up, knowing that we’re holding each other up, now and forever. I can’t believe I ever felt worried about this night, not when it’s turned completely around and become so much better than anyone could have ever hoped for.* I love you too, Dommie. So much, so much. *Wasn’t it just the other day that I was afraid of showing any affection whatsoever around Dom’s parents, that it seemed best to come across as more of a glorified roommate than a lover? And now here we are, and Dom’s parents know the depths of our love. I’m going to marry him, and they’re happy for us. It’s too much at once. I press my face closely to Dom, feeling the mingling of our tears and holding on for dear life.*
Aureen: *My heart leaps when I see them embrace, and in the same moment I see Dom's decision, more clearly, more closely than ever. I never thought this day would come - my son wanting to settle down, impatient to settle down, holding tightly to the one he's chosen to settle down with. Billy is going to take care of him now. And I'll be the one he calls on weekends, perhaps, when he has a bit of free time; the one he sends Christmas cards to with loving words, instead of the one who watches as he sits under the tree eagerly opening packages with that sweet, bright smile on his face. He won't be coming home. Not to stay. And that's something I didn't really understand until now. Somehow tears are still trickling down from the corners of my eyes, and I try to dab them, but they won't go away. Quickly, I lean into Austin's side and put my arms lightly around him, not knowing what else to do but hide my tears on his shoulder.*
Dom: My Billy... *I sigh happily against his skin, unable to stop smiling long enough to kiss him, but I try anyway, over and over again I try. I can't believe how incredible this feels. I can't control the eagerness to hold Bill, comfort Bill, celebrate with him, and love him, love him no matter what happens.* I love you. I'm so happy... *My voice breaks through my smile and I lean back to look at him. Oh, he's beautiful. He's so beautiful. I look at him and want to cry, fall apart. My hands rise to his face, holding him still as each of my fingers brush his tears gently away. Now my parents know... Now everyone will know that this is my love; my new life. I'll never leave him.*
Austin: *I slide my arms around Aureen, holding her close, knowing that she needs this now more than ever. It was hard to let go of Dom the first time, when he decided to go to America. I think Aureen and I both suspected that he wouldn’t be coming back, or if he did come back nothing would ever be the same. But now we have to let him go again. This time we know it’s for good. I rub Aureen’s back softly, smiling at my son and the man he loves. Who would have ever thought I’d be so content to give him up?*
Billy: *I stare deeply into Dom’s eyes, hands fisting in the back of his shirt as I swallow rapidly, trying to stop the tears, stop the crying, because although they are happy tears, they’re blurring my vision when all I want to do is look at him, take him in. I lean in and kiss him then, a loving, tender kiss that puts a seal on everything that’s just happened. Pulling away finally, I look at him for one long, fond moment before turning to look at his parents, not letting him go for anything. I clear my throat.* Anyone want some more pie? *I ask, grinning and breaking out into laughter.*
Aureen: *Even I let out a small laugh, lifting my cheek from Austin's shoulder and letting the tears run down unknowingly. It's all so perfect, the way this is happening. Dom is going to be with someone he loves, who just happens to be someone I love, and even though Dom is going to be living oceans away I believe I'll be content, knowing that he is with Billy. I shake my head at Billy with an irrepressible smile.* Oh, love, I'm too happy to even eat. *I laugh again as I say it, now lifting a hand to wipe all of the dampness from my face.*
Dom: *I grin at my parents as they hold each other, tightening my arms around Billy as I hold him. This is how it's going to be. For so many years. I can't believe I'm turning out just like my parents; I thought that's why I was running away. I laugh a little to myself, turning my head to Billy proudly and thinking that this is so much different. I mean, my parents never kiss like we do, they never get caught in each other's eyes like this... I know it isn't true, but you never think of your parents as being in love. They're much too practical. I hope that no one will ever think that of Bill and me. I smile at him for a moment and then look to my parents, wondering what to say.* Sorry we scared you like that... *I speak finally, recalling how Billy and I were behaving and releasing a hesitant breath.* I never thought I'd be so nervous in my life.
Austin: You bloody terrified us. *I answer truthfully, grinning.* I don’t think either of us knew what to expect when you two went all silent. *I won’t say that a myriad of impossibilities went through my head, and yet this had never occurred to me. No reason to appear even more thick than I already do.*
Billy: You certainly aren’t the only ones who were terrified. *I say, grinning, tucking myself closer into Dom’s arms. I’ve got nothing to hide from anymore, nothing to fear, and still this feeling of security I derive from Dom is invaluable. I don’t think I ever want to leave his arms again.* I thought that if Dom didn’t say anything I was going to throw up.
Aureen: Goodness! *I laugh lightly, loving Billy's honesty, amazed at the fact that he can talk about throwing up while still being completely charming. I don't think I could say that about many people. I smile amusedly at him and continue.* I hope we don't scare you that much. *I try to sound comforting, knowing that I would have loved them both the same, no matter what they had said to us.*
Dom: Nah, not Bill. *I reply to Mum, teasing, and taking this chance to look at my love again, broad smile on my lips.* Billy doesn't get afraid. Like he's made of steel or something. *I grin and hold him close, leaning in to kiss on his cheek and wishing I could wipe away all of the little tear trails I feel under my lips. Softening, I pull back and allow my gaze to remain with him, hands moving gently on his sides.* He's very brave.
Billy: Very soft, wobbly steel. *I add with a laugh, pressing my cheek to Dom’s shoulder. I’m embarrassed to think we were so nervous, especially now that I know how loving Dom’s parents are. You’d think they would have needed time to get adjusted to the idea, but no. It’s as if they’d already decided that they wanted me for their son, and our announcement was just giving them what they wanted in the first place.*
Dom: *I wrap Billy up in my arms with a laugh, nuzzling down to his hair teasingly.* That's my favourite kind. *And I know I should, but I don't lift my head. Billy has that beautiful smell that I love so much, and he's so comforting and warm, and I feel the need to finally get away from all of this nervousness I've been having, all of this tension in all of me. He's the only place I know where I can feel like this. I close my eyes and begin to rock him in my arms, the excitement springing into me, so ready to love him. I press my nose to his hair, my throat tickling with laughter. I don't know how to tell him how happy I am; I don't know.*
Billy: *I giggle, his movement tickling slightly. I really should keep in mind that Dom’s parents are still right there, and as supportive as they are, they probably don’t want to see their son go completely lovey-dovey with his fiancé. No matter how happy they are for us. Still, it’s not like I’m about to pull away, not when I’m still running off the high that our announcement has brought. And not when he feels so good.*
Aureen: *I'm captured on the sight of them, both captured with each other. It's becoming so evident now, how much they love each other. I'm beginning to think that even I wasn't completely aware that they loved like this, probably because they didn't feel allowed to show it until now. Or maybe it's something else... Maybe it's the excitement now in the air that we can all feel. It's moving us all a little closer, both emotionally and physically... And then the thought hits me, and I finally see Dom's arms wrapping around Billy more and more tightly. For goodness sake, they are two young men, aren't they? I can't believe I haven't stopped to consider it. And after living with men all my life... I would think I'd know enough about their physical demands to realise that this kind of romancing and excitement can't easily lead to more discussion over tea and pie. It's past time the poor dears had a bit of time alone. I look to Austin, hands sliding off of him to tug at his shirt. I clear my throat, hoping he won't discover my intentions as I speak, knowing how sudden my words seem.* How do you fancy a walk, love? I was thinking of having one; give my dinner a chance to settle. *I pat my stomach softly to indicate, beginning to smile at him.* Come and make sure I don't get lost?
Austin: Alright... *I say, giving her a bit of an odd look, wondering what brought this on, and then... oh. Very observant, Austin. The lads just announced their engagement. It’s hardly logical that they’d want to spend the rest of the evening playing dominoes with the parents, is it? I can’t even tell if they’ve heard either of us speak.* Of course, love. *I say to Aureen, smiling gently at her.* Let’s get our coats.
Aureen: *I smile softly at him, seeing the flash of understanding pass through his eyes. I reach down and take his hand, giving him a fond look before turning my gaze back to Billy and Dominic where they still stand wrapped up in each other, in silent, hesitant glances.* Well, your father and I are going to go for a small walk. *I say, mostly to Dominic, wondering if he'll even look away from Billy long enough to absorb what I'm saying. The adorable things, they're so immersed in one another. They should be so proud. They're absolutely beautiful together. Moving past them, I lead Austin by the hand, unable to restrain my smile as I speak.* We'll be gone...probably for a while. *I say with a sneaking grin, teasing as I add:* But don't let our absence stop you from having any fun.
Dom: *I look up with abrupt surprise as Mum and Dad step past, and suddenly I snap to attention.* What? Wait- *I don't know how much I remember from what Mum said. Something about being gone... They're going out? I want to stop them, realising that Billy and I probably shouldn't have been touching quite so much in front of them. Do they feel awkward? I turn to look after them as they begin to leave, unable to let go of Billy. I don't want to let go of Billy. As much as I don't want to inconvenience Mum and Dad like this... I feel horrible, but... I'm glad that they want to go. Just a little. Okay, a lot, but I shouldn't just let them walk out, right?* Where are you going? *I ask, still holding Billy close.*
Austin: *I look from Aureen to Dom, shrugging my shoulders with a slight grin.* Just around. Maybe down to the river again, it was so pretty when you took us yesterday. We’ll be careful, don’t worry. *I wink at Dom, looking to Billy with a grin as Aureen and I head to the hallway closet to retrieve our coats.*
Billy: *I stay silent, loving Dom’s mum and dad more than ever at the moment. They’re not leaving because they’re uncomfortable, I can tell that easily enough. They’re leaving because they’re smart enough to see where the boundaries of family ends and the realm of lovers begins, and that this is a point where Dom and I need to be together.* Don’t stay out too late. *I say, wanting them to know that it’s not that I’m eager to get rid of them, it’s just that I’m eager to have Dom all to myself.* And make sure you bundle up; it’s cold outside.
Aureen: Thanks, love. *I say to Billy with a sweet grin, shrugging on my coat as Austin helps me with it. I reach down for the zipper and pull it up to my neck, then reaching for my gloves up on the coat rack and slipping them on. I turn a last time and look at Dominic, tugging at one of my gloves securely and giving him a stern expression.* You take care of him, Dominic. *I speak slowly so he'll understand the exact connotation, then I turn to Austin with a ready smile, sighing gladly. He opens the door and I send my smile to the two boys in the dining room as we head out.*
Dom: *The door slams shut and I still watch it, hearing Mum's words hanging in the air. My hands burrow into Billy's shirt curiously for moments. Well, I guess we're on our own... I stop, and think again: we're on our own... My eyes turn to look around the house, empty and silent, the dishes untouched, no one standing near us, not a voice to distract us. And slowly, my smile begins. This isn't so bad... I feel Billy move gently in my arms and I turn my eyes to him, look at all of him, take him in, feeling my smile spread across my face to the very breaking point as I watch him, knowing he'll be just as happy as I am. We're all alone. We have this time all to ourselves. We have this house all to ourselves. We have each other all to ourselves.* What should we do? *I ask him softly, imagining the endless possibilities.*
Billy: *I flicker my attention directly back to Dom, suddenly aware how very much alone we are. My arms slide more firmly around his back, and I look up at him, biting my lip to hide my huge smile.* We should do the dishes... *I whisper softly, sliding my hands in the back pockets of his trousers.*
Dom: *Should we?... My grin becomes subtle, watching his adorable expression. His smile always gives him away; that sneaky little grin that he tries to hide, (perhaps just so I can find it again). I love the way he does that. I love... romancing him. Like this. It's like opening a gift. He conceals himself for me and lets me discover him. Piece by piece, I reveal him. And in the end, when all of the wrapping is gone, I find him. I find him waiting there for me. Every time, he's new and beautiful. I rub my hands slowly up his back, feeling his body press to me, and I try to lure his next thought from his lips, voice bending gently.* ...but...
Billy: But what? *I ask teasingly, fingers squeezing his bum lightly as I grin at him, the tip of my tongue poking out from between my teeth. He’s so fun to tease with, to string along until both of us feel we can’t take anymore and then reel back in quickly, capturing him in my embrace.* You don’t want your parents to come home to a house full of dirty dishes, do you? What would they think? *I pull my hands from his pockets and back slowly out of his arms, giving him a wink and turning as if to move in the direction of the kitchen.*
Dom: *A little laugh bounces off of my lips and I start. But then, stop. My smile begins to fade. I think I’d meant to go after him, but as it is, I’m stuck in place, feet glued to the floor. My eyes are caught on the motion of something; the edges above the backs of his knees, the slight sway of his kilt as he turns out of my arms. I’m silent for moments, not realising, mind occupied suddenly with wonder. Wonder that such a loose piece of clothing is able to accentuate these subtle, perfect areas of his shape as he moves. Wonder that I’d ever forgotten how beautiful his bare legs are, and why they are even more so now as I watch the cloth scarcely brush against his skin. My eyes don’t dare to move.*
Billy: *I’ve already made it four steps towards the kitchen and he hasn’t caught me and pulled me back. What gives? I’m slightly offended. I turn back around, looking at him.* You’re actually going to let me go do the dishes? *I raise an eyebrow, smirking slightly, and then I notice his eyes aren’t on my face as they should be. In fact, from this angle they look like their focused downward, almost to the floor.* What? *I ask, looking down at the floor as well, wondering if he’s seen a spider or something of the sort.* What?
Dom: *The sudden twirl of the kilt catches me off-guard, and I look up, recalling with some faint memory that...I think...he's said something. Heaven help me, I don't remember what... My head shakes and I blink, trying to put my thoughts back together.* What? *I ask, finally focusing into his eyes.*
Billy: That’s what I asked you. *I give him A Look, shaking my head and turning back to the kitchen again.* I’m going to do the dishes... *I say in a sing-song voice, looking back over my shoulder at Dom again.* Are you going to let me? Or help me? Or did you have something else in mind? Or are you just going to stand there for the rest of the day?
Dom: I...uh... *Oh, Billy, stop turning around... My glances flicker down and back up to his face, and it isn't long before they're down again. The ridges of the kilt spin close, and then fan out again, wrapping his thighs gently before releasing back into place. I swallow, wishing I had tried harder to hear what he said this time...damn it. The edges of the cloth brush the tender backs of his knees again and I continue watching, feeling my mind slowly begin to erase. Bloody hell, Billy...* Uh... *Somehow, I shake, hearing my own voice, and my eyes spring up as soon as they can.* Yes. *I answer, at the same time thinking, Yes? Yes what?, while repeatedly kicking myself.*
Billy: *I swear I didn’t drug any of the dinner. Not intentionally. Besides, his parents aren’t acting this weird, and they ate everything he did. So did I. So what is his problem? I shake my head and continue walking, disappearing into the kitchen. Sometimes I just don’t understand that man.*
Dom: *He's leaving. Great. Very nice, Dom. I sigh and follow after him, trying, trying not to look anywhere lower than his shoulders.* Billy... *He's stopped at the kitchen sink and as soon as I see him, I remember and I take a sudden breath.* I'm sorry. I don't want you to do the dishes. *I stop behind him silently and wait now, praying I won't look down.*
Billy: *I pause for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to turn and look at him. On any other day I’d be angry with him, but today I find I’m having trouble working up even a slight irritation. I can’t keep the smile off my face as I turn to face him, leaning against the sink.* You’re an odd one, Dominic Monaghan, you know that?
Dom: *A smile begins on my lips. I tuck my hands into my back pockets where his used to be.* Why did you ever agree to marry me? *I play along, loving how his little smile twists at me when he tries to hide it, how I get the feeling...he's starting to forget the dishes.*
Billy: *I shrug nonchalantly, smiling as I cross my arms in front of me.* Moment of weakness, I suppose. *I tease, leaning back to push myself away from the counter and take a few steps closer to him.* Now, do you want to tell me where you were a few minutes ago? *I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.*
Dom: *Well, this isn't all going...exactly how I thought... My smile flickers as he steps closer, eyes shifting down again. Damn it. Look at it, tapering around his front. It's undoing me. Slowly taking me apart. I want to own everything it's hiding. I want to know.* I was...
Billy: You were what, love? *I ask softly, raising a hand to drift it close to his cheek. I hold it there for a moment before finally resting it against his skin, turning his face up so his eyes meet mine. I don’t know why he’s having so much difficulty with that tonight.*
Dom: *My focus jumps back to his gaze, startled from my thoughts to the point of a small tremble. His touch sinks into my skin, but it isn't enough to stop what I'm beginning to feel. He's going to find out, after all. Everything I want to know. Why my hand is utterly tempted, at this nearness, to feel that thin cloth and press it to his body; to discover just how thin it is. Why my glances keep stirring, longing to see his pale colour contrast with the cloth, his bareness creeping up underneath like a sweet invitation.* I was... *He looks so intently at me; he probably thinks I've gotten food poisoning or something.* ...daydreaming.
Billy: Oh. *I remark curiously, passing my thumb over his lips, watching the way his eyes shift from here to there, having trouble staying focused on my gaze.* About what? It’s got you quite engrossed, I must say.
Dom: *Your kilt, your bloody kilt, look down! Do you know what you're doing to me? ...I nod slightly, pretending I'm able to have conversation.* Yeah, it's um... *Incredible, torturous, deadly, erotic... I want to touch you, Billy. I've thought of a thousand new ways to please you. Just let me get on my knees and show you. ... Shite I need to stop thinking.* It's... ...nothing. *I wince inwardly. Somehow I think I should stop talking, too.*
Billy: Ah. *I raise an eyebrow at him, silent for a moment. I break away abruptly, turning my back on him and rolling up my sleeves. I don’t have to share my thoughts and desires with him either, then. I survey the mounds of dishes on the counter, wondering where to start, wondering how long it will take for Dom to make me stop.*
Dom: *I watch him step toward the sink, the space around me suddenly emptied of warmth. He hasn't forgotten the dishes... A bit of regret crosses my face, knowing that I've let him return to the sink when he's made it clear that he'd really rather be doing something else. He turns on the tap and the soft sound only makes the silence worse. I want to say something. Distract him again. Be honest with him... But what do I say? Billy, I'm sorry. What I meant was... 'your kilt is possibly the sexiest thing I've ever seen and, frankly, it makes me want to make unbelievable love to you.'? I can't... My eyes trace him, his quiet shape. I miss him being near to me. I miss his touch on me. Slowly, I step forward, and I forget to stop. My hands rise to meet his hips as I draw into him. I press my chest gently to his back, chin dipping to his shoulder, sighing lightly near his ear as my hands finally discover the rough fabric of his kilt under their palms and hold it to his body. My eyelids fall softly, cheek warming against his.* Billy...
Billy: *My breath leaves me in a whoosh, and suddenly my body is far more attracted to the rest of the room than it is to the sink. And because Dom is blocking my body’s path to the rest of the room, my body has no choice but to press into his. Whoops. I tip my head closer to his, rubbing my cheek along his, skin rubbing smoothly and warmly together. He’s so good at playing these games. Most of the time I don’t even think he’s playing them. He teases me, I resist as valiantly as possible, and ultimately fall prey to him. It’s a vicious cycle.* Dommie... *I murmur, letting my eyes fall shut, absorbing the feeling of the rise and fall of his chest against my back, his hands on my hips.* Would you mind terribly if we didn’t do the dishes right now? If we... went upstairs instead?
Dom: Mm? *My brow rises, feeling him softly reciprocate to the structure of my body, his cheek gliding on mine so easily. I didn't know he wanted this so much... So quickly, he's allowing me to have full reign, and I grow suddenly obedient to his desires, hoping that they will remain his distraction from what I can't help doing. Slowly, my fingers trip down the sides of his hips, fingers pressing and pulling a bit of the fabric of his kilt up his thighs, into my palms. The rough threads brush my skin. I want to continue reeling it into my grasp, to spider-walk through it with my fingers until I find his tender skin. I lean my nose to his temple and rest my lips on his blushing cheek, fingers rubbing gently below.* Whatever you want...
Billy: You know what I want... *I whisper, tipping my lips as close to his ear as possible. One hand snakes behind us and finds his leg, sliding up the side of his thigh as I lean back against him, letting him support me a little. He’s got me tingling all over, easy enough considering it’s Dom, but I really want to get out of the kitchen before we start anything.* Bedroom, love. Let’s go to the bedroom.
Dom: *My response comes as a warm sigh on his skin, my lips still holding his cheek, knees threatening to bend into him as he strokes my thigh. Already, I'm losing sense of direction, wondering which way I should move to start us off toward the stairs. The harsh sound of running water echoes into my mind and my eyes open to the sink, the tap still cascading down in a beam. I regretfully move my hand from his hip, reaching out to twist the handle. The sound ends and I'm still kissing him as I retrieve my hand around his waist, rubbing gently, carefully the slight bend of his stomach and moving my other hand to his grasping at my leg. I wrap our fingers together and hold him hesitantly before slowly letting go, stepping away, lips coming off of his cheek in a slow release, my body losing half of its warmth and comfort. But I take his hand as he turns to face me, that removed gaze flickering up into my eyes, the one that I study for moments. When I know I have enough strength to move again, enough focus to see the bed vividly in my mind - unmade in our motion, our bodies curling and struggling within the sheets, sweat rising on our bare arms and legs, his eyes soothing my release as he watches me - I finally turn and begin to lead him toward the stairs.*
Billy: *Our fingers tangle together, reminiscent of how our bodies will soon be, and my heart skips a few beats as my feet near the stairs. Why is it that I feel like a blushing virgin every time we do this, every time our passion takes its sweet time, giving us time to think and prepare for the act of love we’re about to partake in? It’s such a sweet feeling, so different from the high-running emotions of our frantic lovemaking, though both feelings are indescribable. We walk slowly up the stairs, hand in hand, side by side, and down the hall to our bedroom, and as we enter I’m hard pressed to think of another time I’ve been so grateful to see our bed. Of course, I think that every time, don’t I? Shutting the door behind us and taking the necessary steps into the room, I let go of his hand and sit on the end of the bed, already toeing off my socks and shoes as I look up at him, smile muted but evident.*
Dom: *I watch him silently; watch him sit down on the bed, watch the familiar, fragile lift of the kilt when he bends, watch the edges dragging to the pale, lightly freckled place just above his knee. I'm barely concentrating as I begin to slide out of my own shoes, eyes grazing along his bare legs as I reach down for my socks. There's an opening between his legs as he sits, a place where the kilt loosely bridges the gap between his thighs. That part of him... It's that lovely part of him that no one else knows. And this act that we're preparing for guarantees that he's chosen me to know it again. It's exhilarating. He'll allow me inside. Even though I know he wore the kilt to keep himself safe, wanting to protect and cover his intimate places. He'll hold me at bay for moments. And then he'll still and welcome me inside when he discovers... I want to claim him there. I want to pleasure him there while he sits and feels and waits and holds my head between his legs in gratification. I can't take my eyes away from that place.*
Billy: *He’s in that daze again, one that always secretly delights me because I know I’m the one that’s caused it... but this time it’s slightly different for some reason. More intense. More focused. Either way, his gaze burns a hole through my body that drives me insane with anticipation. This undressing business is taking too long and is yielding far too little skin. Time for me to intervene. I stand up, stepping forward as my hands come to rest on the top button of his shirt. I quickly pop it through the hole, eyes shifting to his as I move on to the next, and then the next.* I really did have an eye for you when I picked out this shirt. *I murmur, tiny smile catching and holding on my lips.* Although I think I’d like it even better if it were on the floor over there.
Dom: *My eyes flicker up, unable to look at his kilt as he comes closer. So I watch his fingers take hold of my shirt, pushing at the buttons until they are free, and as my focus returns to me, I glance up into his eyes, feeling his hands still moving softly at my chest. He has that tiny smile, playing on his lips; he knows that I'd let him do anything he wants. The more coolness I feel on my skin between us, the more his cleverness grows; the more I begin to respond with my own small smile, feeling his cold fingers grazing my belly as he finishes with the shirt. I love the feeling. Even the coldness. Maybe my skin is just too warm. I lift my hands and take his, carefully opening them and pressing his palms against my bare stomach. His touch is suddenly cool and makes my stomach jump, but I think maybe it's my job to make it warm again. So I hold his hands where they are as I look at him, beginning to smile even more when his fingers slightly move, his glance falling there.*
Billy: *His skin is so warm, which of course makes a hell of a lot of sense, and so soft... I don’t think I spend enough time on this section of skin. I love his stomach. I love everything about it. I love the rigidity of muscle, the softness of skin, the way it ripples and jumps when I touch it just right. I love the little dip of his belly button, just the right spot for my tongue, and the little trail of hair that leads down, down down to a prize only I have the right to win. I’d lean and kiss his stomach now, let my tongue relearn all the twists and turns, but that isn’t the order of things. My lips need to caress somewhere he’ll like even better. Instead my palms mirror his skin, conforming to the planes of his belly, fingers moving in slight circles, pressing and revolving on the surface. I lean in, lips tripping across lips for a brief moment before taking a detour and finding his neck, placing slow, deep kisses against the tender column of his throat. One of the most valuable things I ever learned was that he liked to be touched on his neck. I’ll never forget it.*
Dom: *My eyes flutter shut, head tilting to give him room as he leans in to my throat. Oh, that heat and wet motion; he uses every trick possible, with his tongue and his teeth and those soft, beautiful, delicate lips. He knows how I love this... My head lulls further to the side, and this time I have no intentions - almost no conscience whatsoever. My hands are motionless on his, even as his fingers rub into the tensing surface of my belly. His sounds are almost too much to bear, echoing below my ear where he kisses and sucks gently; those soft sounds that would be drowned out with any hint of noise. But the quiet of this room only accentuates each little whisper, tiny breaths between kisses, the sound like droplets playing on the pool of my skin. My hands finally fall from his and I carefully bend my arms back, fingers reaching at the cuffs of my shirt and tugging. I sink my shoulders and the shirt slips off, sliding from my arms and onto the floor. I feel the coolness of the room around me, making me vulnerable, turning my thoughts to Billy's warmth, but I'm not about to move from this deep, beautiful caress.*
Billy: *My tongue travels every inch of skin, trying to dissolve every bit of his taste. But no matter how many times I pass over a certain spot, I still taste him there, taste every bit of him concentrated, the essence of Dom. I can’t take it all in. But I’d be perfectly happy to keep trying. This is my way of worshipping him. This is my way of speaking my devotion without words. Finding those little spots along every delicious inch of skin that make him catch his breath, his stomach rising and falling unsteadily under my hand. He tastes like heaven.*
Dom: *A sigh pushes through my lips and I can't hold it in, head tilting toward his hair to let him know all that I'm thankful for. This is so good... Does he know how good this is? This kind of touching could rock me to sleep, at the same time heightening all of my senses for his body. Now I know the reality of the words "I must be dreaming." And he'll be with me for the rest of my life... I have yet to feel this hundreds and thousands of times. I've never known someone to want to care for me so much. He'd dedicate his life to making me feel this way... I turn my head to his hair and kiss as well as I can near his ear, loving the way the sound on him mixes with his sounds upon me. His tongue grazes my throat and I move my hands to his body, holding his waist, sliding my hands up his sides, then moving my fingers to the buttons down his front, unfastening them in slow, insequential order.*
Billy: *I feel his fingers moving, only dimly at first, so intent I am on the skin beneath my lips. But then I feel them, and so need I am for his touch I arch slightly forward, our hands getting trapped between our bodies. My mouth burns a trail down to his shoulders, across the smooth arches and strong straight muscles. How is it that every part of him tastes different, each space better than the last? I need more. More, more, more.*
Dom: *I manage the last few buttons of his shirt from between our bodies, all the while losing my breath on my sudden sighs, body recoiling and gaining goose bumps from his tongue on my skin, being licked by an arousing heat. Its trail runs with such a wet, sweet eagerness over all of my muscles that I find it hard to concentrate on being careful as my hands attempt to pull Billy's shirt from off of his shoulders. I tug bluntly and as it finally comes off, Billy's hands are set free out of the sleeves and I'm finally able to press us together, arms wrapping possessively around him, skin melting onto skin, and head bending to reach his shoulder with my own tongue and lips, hungrily tasting him. My moan is instant as the flavour enters my mouth. The taste of my lover; the distinct taste of Billy in need. It's as though he releases some chemical to let me know when he wants it.*
Billy: *My hands are pulled tightly between us, pressed between our bellies, which is the best place for them to be, as it leaves little space to travel to reach the button of his trousers, which I quickly flick open. When his lips find my skin I instinctively tip my head back to give him more room, lips bending in a round shape and letting forth a tiny moan. But soon I realize how much I miss the taste of him and instantly bow my head again, mirroring his own movements as our lips move wantonly over each other. My fingers are unsteady but persistent, and it’s not long before I have his trousers undone, fingertips slipping under the waistband of his boxers.*
Dom: *I bend at the touch, hands grasping on his bare back, holding him firmly to my chest even though I fear what his sneaky fingers might dart out and do next. I'm building a trap for myself. Everything I do brings me inevitably closer to Billy, and I can't help it. I'm coming willingly into his hands. Oh... I moan damply on his skin. ...Oh, I wish I could come into his hands. My stomach jumps again - the touch of those hands burrowing - they know where I need them to be. They want to be where I need them to be. My body pinches forward against the touch, squeezing him into me, trying so hard that my kisses on his skin become soft bites and I groan, unable to reach that peak of my arousal. I need something from him first; something full and rich with the very knowledge of pleasure; where or how to give it. Or how to receive it...*
Billy: *I’d press forward with my hips if I didn’t know they’d get in the way of my hands, and that’s what’s important now. I need to touch, need to find that heat untouched as of yet and shape it with my hands, with my fingers, with my desire. I moan every time his lips and teeth leave their mark, entire body shivering and shaking as my fingers creep into his boxers, brushing against the hard, hot flesh that remains so elusive. I don’t think my legs will support me much longer.*
Dom: *My lungs snap open for air, but my mouth is so consumed with Billy's skin that I'm sure I leave a mark on him, breaking quickly away with a gasp and shaking as I clutch around his bare torso for support. His hands... Oh, hell, his hands are there... My knees are so weak I could break, if not for the drive inside of me to push my hips ruggedly upward against his hands. I grunt with the force, a sudden shock occurring to me when his touch barely etches that spot again. I feel myself stiffen. A hand grapples up to his shoulder blade, fingers crawling up the back of his neck and into the slight tufts of his hair, and when I can finally cup his head in my hand, my lips dive back to his skin, suckling hard against the length of his neck and growling as I shake. This is what you do to me, Bill. This... Stiffly, I move my other hand down the trail of his spine until I feel that curve, grasping down around his bum and pushing, gripping his hips into my intermittent thrusts. Necking and pushing, and necking and pushing, pushing until my fingers want to massage any kind of sound out of him. But when they begin to rub...the cloth beneath them slips easily; that hard cloth of his kilt still fastened around his waist, covering his bum, is sliding on him, wrinkling around the curves of his body... Experimentally, I run my fingers slowly down and up the first appearance of his crevasse. I can almost memorise him through this thin layer; this gossamer-light fabric of a layer folds into all of his bends and valleys so easily that... But that would have to mean that the cloth is pressed against him, and when my fingers move it... it's sliding directly against his skin... The kilt is...directly against...his skin... Bill- Isn't he? He wouldn't, would he? My hand roams the curves of his bum, and I feel my heart pick up with sudden thrill.*
Billy: *I let out a little growl of my own, though it’s more likely a moan, deep and desperate and right from the feeling of his fingers shooting impulses to my core. My hips have obviously not been informed that I wanted to touch him first, because they rocket forward against him, trapping my fingers between us as I pant and grind against his hips which are still far too clothed! That made the decision for my fingers, and they travel quickly to his sides, slipping under the waistline of his trousers and boxers and tugging, tugging, tugging the layers down and off. That’s better. I sigh, one hand at the centre of his back firmly pressing him forward towards me while the other curls tightly around his arousal, lips curling likewise around his earlobe.*
Dom: Ah- *I gasp, crushing my lips against his throat and shaking all over with strain and the last stiffness that keeps me from collapsing. I'm finally hard, pushing out on his hand and more and more as he squeezes around between our bodies. My hips are arched to him, to his will, and whatever he does to me I have no way of preventing; I'm so open, finally bare and exposed to him. I want him to take advantage. But I can't concentrate, his body stimulating me on all sides. His lips whispering hot, swirling kisses on my ear; spearing my senses through with his sounds, and no amount of noise I could ever make could erase them. I moan stiffly as I drive my hips against the hard form of his hand, shaking us, pressing my hand up into his bum and feeling that cloth slip again, bunching up at his waist. I can almost feel the heat rising from his newly exposed skin below. The seam must be hovering only inches below his bum. And I can't stand it, not knowing. Not knowing if my intuition is right. That somewhere below this cloth that I'm gripping, he's waiting, bare for me. Just his skin; his lovely sweet-tasting skin uncovered... I know I shouldn't believe it. I really shouldn't. Not with my Billy... My fingers walk along the cloth, just as I longed to before, pulling it farther and farther upward, gathering it at his waist. And slowly, hesitantly, caught up in his sound at my ear, licking his throat carefully in preparation, my fingers touch the ends of the kilt, tracing the edges, and delicately dipping inside. I still, body rigid even as Billy's hand pulls, an astonished sigh breaking between lips and throat. My hand pushes up against soft, supple skin; the shape of his bum cupped into my hand. I can't- I can't believe he would... And even as I stand in shock, my fingers move against his nakedness, his direct warmth, his utter touch. I can't believe... A sudden sound jumps from my lips in shock, desperately I hold my breath. But my strength flows out of me. I fall the length of his body to my knees, slipped from his hand and now kneeling at his feet, both hands reaching up below his kilt and grasping his bum, massaging against the shape, suddenly glad that I hadn't known this when we sat down to dinner.*
Billy: Dom - *I look down at him in surprise, surprise that quickly gives way to utter and total arousal as his hands massage my bum as if they’re finding it for the first time. With no complaint from me, of course. I push back against his hands, brief smile darting intermittently to my lips when I can coordinate my lips enough to make one. Now I fully understand all the “advantages” of a kilt that all the other boys used to talk about when I was younger. He’s beautiful from this angle, though he’s beautiful from every angle, really. My breath catches in my throat at the sight of him kneeling naked on the floor before me. A thousand and one thoughts fly through my head. Is he...? He isn’t, is he? My heart pounds excitedly.*
Dom: *I watch his kilt sway before my eyes, nearly brushing my nose I'm so close. I'm in complete fascination. I hardly see the blur of colours in front of me. I only feel his soft, plush skin in my hands, working it with my palms and fingers, feeling his body sink back into the feeling. His skin... His heated, blushing skin that I can grasp with my fingertips. There's nothing restricting me from this touch. Even he makes a small sound of approval, and my eyes focus and gradually trip over his body to stare up at him. Look at how gorgeous he is like this... He's so in need. His eyes dance vacantly and a small smile lingers, full of anticipation, dissipating and returning when my touch becomes firm and pleasing. I want to touch him in places he hasn't imagined; allow him to fill with a satisfaction through my long, deliberate appraisal of his nakedness. I want him to let it slip through his lips in sounds that have never entered my ears. I watch him with still eyes. My hands knead his bum in gradual circles. Then my gaze drops, and I look out before me, the cloth an opaque barrier between me and his hard flesh, his familiar length. I can't reach it. Not yet. Not yet, my love... I rub his curves affectionately, bracing him as I bend down to that opening of his kilt. Let me find you... I let the cloth brush past my hair as I dip inside, finally inside, and I press between his legs. Skin touches skin, blushing on his goose bumps. His beautiful form stiffens. I close my eyes and turn. Quietly, I open my lips against his tender inner thigh.*
Billy: *My mouth opens in a silent plea. His lips have brushed so close to where I want them the most. They’ve gone to that soft, tender skin that needs attention constantly. My eyes are focused below me, to where Dom has dipped under the kilt and is currently busy turning my world upside down. His head is completely out of sight and I’m sorry for that in one respect at least: my fingers can’t slide through his soft hair, tugging when he needs to move faster, fisting when he’s moving just right. I settle for resting my hand on his shoulder, legs moving almost unconsciously apart as I strive to find a better centre of balance, and also to give his lips more room to move.*
Dom: *I follow the curves of his legs with my kiss as he shifts and stiffens, feeling the ridges of his muscles under my lips, his limbs striving to support himself. My hands press up into his bum to help as I savour him, tongue slipping through my lips and onto his heated, trembling skin. I can't imagine what he must be feeling. He knows what I'm going to do. He knows so well that his fingers grasp my shoulder, a sudden tremor in his body. My lips work to soothe him from his tension, caressing closer into his thigh, lips moving to taste a patch of skin above the moistened place I've claimed. It's so delicious that I become intoxicated. His sweet flavour, his scent, his softness... And he's opened himself to me so instinctually, his body finding that angle where it can rest around me. So close that I feel him beating in need, his vibrations sent out to me at different temperatures. Even when I sigh, my breath echoes up to his skin and curls back onto my face, so hot and full that it drowns my senses. It's like an invitation from that place that I want to worship with my mouth, calling me, beckoning me closer to claim it as well. Such a temptation... My breath sighs along his bare skin, my mind unravelling. I lap at a particular valley inside his leg and my hands slide unconsciously from his bum, fingers damply dragging down the backs of his thighs to where I can hold him to me.*
Billy: *I wonder if he knows how he’s torturing me. He must know. He must be able to taste my desperate desire pouring out of me, the reason behind my unsteadiness, my shaky breath coming in intermittent exhalations. His lapping at the skin between my legs is reminiscent of the lapping at my neck just a few minutes ago, only while that felt good, this feels devastating, and I’m surprised I’m still on my feet.* Dommie... *I breathe, fingertips pressing gently into his shoulder as I feel my entire body twitch, his lips and tongue passing over a particularly sensitive spot. He knows what he’s doing.*
Dom: *My stomach jumps at the soft sound of my name, my lips sucking gently on that smooth bend of his thigh, his muscle suddenly shuddering. I break slightly with a breath. Eyes blink open to the vague sight of his glistening skin, the spot where my tongue was just running over his thigh. I feel my heart swell, wondering how he'd let me do this, how he'd ever trust me enough to allow me here... My eyelids fall closed and I press my nose to his skin and breathe in, nestling into his warmth, turning my cheek upon his touch and feeling the damp trails left behind there by my mouth. Even they become a part of him, as I become a part of him, our smells mingling, creating that sense of completion that he's begging to feel; that impatient press on my shoulder. I kiss inside his leg lightly, fingers pushing into the backs of his thighs and pulling me hesitantly upward; up until my nose is just tickled by the slight curls of his hair. That's what he wants... I breathe into the heat trapped there, lifting my head an inch more and nuzzling into that bend of his leg at his torso. The patch of hair is clean and dense; it smells so richly of him. When I rub into it, his muscles grow so firm under my hands that I can't help a tiny smile.*
Billy: Ah - *So close, and yet so far. The man is slowly killing me but I don’t mind at all. My hips are making tiny, persistent, rocking rotations towards his lips without my consent but definitely with my approval. I bite my lips and hum out a moan, tensing my entire body as if that will prevent a melting of limbs that is fortunately inevitable.*
Dom: *His voice coming through in that moan is enough to stop my heart; I can even feel the sound reverberating under my fingertips where I'm gripping his thighs. My smile opens with a little breath and I nudge my nose deep into his hair, taking a breath of him before rising an inch more to the bare heat and nearness of skin. I feel it ghosting just a few hairs away, beside my cheek; a familiar shape which I know I've fully memorised. But I suppose that isn't going to stop me from exploring it again, just in case. I smile and turn my head just barely, cheek pressing against the cushion of that hair, scarcely tasting his sweet, hard skin on my lips through the heat. I love this, relearning his bare skin. I can't believe it's possible, so easy - his vulnerability right here for me to consume. To consume... I stop my breath in my chest, opening my eyes to see it before I lose control to open my eyes at all. Then I move forward, the breath of movement that it takes to close the space between my lips and his length, and I press my mouth softly, carefully at its very base, the tender, firm skin smouldering under my lips. And I don't move. I wait moments, wanting his reaction more than anything else.*
Billy: *Cliché as it sounds, his lips are a magnet. By the merest brushing of his soft skin against my most sensitive core I jump, entire body twitching in a long succession. It feels as though my mouth isn’t working, because I’d like to voice how it feels, how exquisite his mouth feels against my heated flesh, but I can’t seem to make the words and force them out of my mouth. I realize belatedly that’s because my mouth is already in use, a deep, guttural moan slipping from my lips unnoticed to me, though probably not lost on Dom.*
Dom: *Ohhh bloody hell, yes... My eyes pinch closed at the sound, fingers clutching until they tremble, mouth pressing hard against his base to keep my long sigh from breaking this sweet contact. Oh, Billy, yes... I want to praise a sound so beautiful, but I can't bring myself to speak and break the touch of this warmth. So I begin to praise him in another way entirely. In another low sigh, my lips barely part, wetness just beginning as his sweetness sharply enters on the air around my tongue. My heart skips in my throat and I want to swallow, but I'm too afraid to move. I feel my tongue twitching impatiently, even more so as I press my mouth forward, lips sliding delicately open on his hardness, wetness finally contacting with his skin. The flavour bursts through my mouth instantly, lips latching onto his velvet skin, tongue slipping out against the hot firmness captured in my kiss and spreading along him as though it were melting. Oh, Billy... My body becomes rigid and I tremble between sighs and moans. He tastes like cream and soap and our bed... Like summer with him in the morning, like his blankets wrapped around his naked body... When you first have vanilla on your tongue... I've never known a taste like this. My tongue rubs on his skin languidly, exploring, making slow circles as my mouth begins to move down his length, opening and closing against his warmth, feeling his pulse beneath my lips. Every inch nearer to his tip is another gasp from his lips and a groan of something incoherent, his fingers gripping me. I feel a hollow in the pit of my stomach, the one that can only be caused by the sensation of my Billy being pleasured, and I know...I must be doing something right.*
Billy: *I can’t take my eyes from the sight of him, or rather lack there of, hidden there by the tartan, both my bane and my salvation. It leaves so much to the mind, the idea of his face between my legs, lapping so tenderly and slowly and wetly, and believe me, I have a very active imagination.* Ohh, Dommie... *I breathe, hiccupping out a moan. I don’t think I can raise my voice past a whisper, not yet, and when I finally do it will skip all the pitches in between and go straight to a yell.*
Dom: *That sweet breath that shudders out of him, leaving a tremor in his whole body, a fearful, wonderful shattering of his being, his resolve, into my mouth. I moan and try to hold on with my kiss and remain a part of this course of his emotion, even as he shakes. I want to sink into him with my tongue, my teeth nipping lightly on his fragile skin as I follow its length. This is what we've needed. This deep, slow washing away of our nerves and tension. Now that our confessions have been made, we finally breathe our sighs, and I can drink out his worry in long, loving strokes. And I meditate on this thought as my lips reach the delicate tip of his arousal, rubbing carefully around the nub to show him how I know him. I turn my head and allow my lips to settle around it in a gentle circle, and firmly, patiently, run my tongue over his slit.*
Billy: *I choke where I’m standing, fingers tensing, flexing desperately against his shoulder. I forget my resolve to keep my eyes focused on Dom and tip my head back, eyes shutting tightly against the exquisite sliding, the warmth spreading hair by hair across my aroused flesh. This is unbearable. I don’t know how he does it, sends these sensations and feelings pulsing through my blood of this magnitude. One hand stumbles from his shoulder to press against his covered head, desperate for that contact, urging him on, as if the noises constantly breaking from my lips aren’t enough.*
Dom: *The warm weight of his palm presses to the back of my head, grasping there, just through that cloth. From his lips his noises are coming desperately, barely reaching my ears, tiny gasps wrapped around the sharp pieces of his moan. My hands grip his bare thighs, heat leaking between our skin, trying to hold him steady as my tongue still runs the short length of that slit. And he shudders. Oh, how he shudders, and the sounds roll off of his sweet exhalations. His hand presses more firmly on my head, his insistence causing the corners of my mouth to tempt to bend. Only my Billy could make me love this so much. My mouth closes lightly over his tip and gives a gentle suck. Then I drown out his anticipation. I slide my lips deftly down his length. Breath stops. Wetness floods my mouth, tongue cradling his erection as it slides past to my throat. If my eyes were open, they would roll back, everything melting on his overwhelming taste.*
Billy: Ah... Ah, Dom! *My entire body stretches, back arching as my entire body tries to fit within his mouth, that beautiful, hot mouth. That’s what I need. Oh yes, oh... that’s what I need. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to keep quiet, my mouth creaking open and letting out a long, shuddering moan. I raise up on my tiptoes, trying to find more of that gorgeous, tight wetness and engulf myself in it.*
Dom: *My hands push him up off the floor when he arches. Up and into me, mouth readily waiting to take more of him in and bury him in my throat. Slowly I strain more and more to reach around his hilt, hollowing myself for his shape and bracing myself from gagging around his stiffness. I can't let this go. Not when he sounds so elated, so deliciously enraptured. My lips clasp eagerly around his base, tongue sliding out against his underside to massage him, in and out in a slow pattern, licking him into oblivion. His flavour melts into my salivation, like butter dripping down my tongue and into my throat. The consistency of a velvety cream. But so firm... Oh, he's perfectly erect. I could relish his silky length for hours and gladly give up the ability to breathe ever again. As long as he is filling me, his hardness stretching inside of me so taut that I can feel his pulse on my tongue.*
Billy: Ungh, Dom... *I groan, fingers pressing down hard against his shoulder as I toss my head back again and pant towards the ceiling. All the tension of the evening is seeping through my pores as he covers me in pleasure, melts it over me so I can’t feel anything else besides the hot, wet cavern of his mouth.* Ohh, love... *I thrust into his mouth slightly, trying not to force it in fear of hurting him, but I can’t completely control my hips any longer.*
Dom: *His hips jump forward at last, and I feel that slip of his arousal through my lips. They would be smiling if it weren't for the length of him; he's so full and thick, beating like a plea in my mouth. I know what he wants. He's too anxious for me to be this still. It really isn't fair of me at all. My tongue slides away on his soft flesh and I sigh as well as I can, the sound grinding into a groan against his presence inside me. To my enjoyment, there's a gasp from above, letting me know he's felt the vibration. Ah, sweetheart... I'm going to be so gentle with you. I hold his body, feeling his tense muscles like the line of a tightened string, and begin to pull away. Lips ripple over his skin, tugging along his length, the long presence of it moving out of my throat slowly, covered in heat and new wetness. I can feel the damp air rise to me as I reach his end, stopping at his tip where I hold on just barely, feeling suddenly emptied. A sweet breath enters my lungs to fill the space and I sigh, pressing the tip of my tongue to his slit while I wait for this exhale. He shakes again; the lovely shaking that warns me when might snap from his strength and plummet. So I smile and don't wait any longer, dipping my tongue underneath him and sliding him wholly into my mouth once again.*
Billy: *I swear I stop breathing, breath catching in my throat for a beat so long I’m sure it’s not healthy, but I can hardly care about that at the moment. I moan desperately at every centimetre of his tongue coving every centimetre of my erection, body swaying to keep the heat at the most sensitive parts of my desperate flesh. But he knows where to go on his own. He knows what to do. He knows me so well, my love, and there is no possibility on Earth that there could ever be a better lover for me.*
Dom: *His arousal slides down my throat, and he moans, and I wish I could moan in response. That sound; it's so deep and guttural and staggering, it rips my thoughts apart. My lips grasp his hilt, teeth gently touching down. And I swallow. In place of a sound, I suckle him, mouth rolling on his skin and listening to him plea. But the more he pleas, the more I feel in debt to respond to him. So I suckle a bit harder, a bit longer, the entire length of him as I pull away once more and slide back up when I reach his tip. His head nudges the back of my throat and I'm tempted to gag. My groan lurches out of my cavern in desperation to stop it, wetness flooding around his presence, holding the reflex inside as much as I can and constricting him in his place. Sucking. Suddenly sucking hard, until I can feel his pulse beat out on all sides of my mouth and his new cries are too much to bear. I take in a sharp gasp, and clamp down around him again, and suck. It feels like such an instinct, to suck on the soft skin of his length. To rub my tongue as I do so under his erection; maintain a motion, hold him stiffly as I peel away all of his flavour. His body shakes so desperately that I have to clutch my hands up under his bum to keep him upright. But I don't stop sucking, gripping his length as I pull away, tugging with every ounce of might to slide him out through my lips, simultaneously seeming to pull him in. My heart races to his grunting cries. I feel his whimpering sounds roll over me on the air as I move down the length of him. I want him to feel every nibble of pressure, every arousing lick into his tender underside. So I stop at his end, lapping hungrily at his slit, wanting him to come, feeling his need shuddering to come. I want him to burst into me with a heat I've never known. My lips suck suddenly, bluntly upon the beating form of his tip and, with a bolt of shock, I rip away in a gasp. Was that...? I still myself, lips panting near his skin. With every hard breath I feel the heat rush from him, pressing a rich smell to my face, and I think I can sense... I can sense it. I lean my lips close again and tentatively slip my tongue out to taste. His slit rubs my touch slickly. I feel myself stiffen. My own length grows taut at the sensation; that tingling drop on my tongue that tastes so like him; the one I've elicited from his body. I lean in and take him in my lips again, rubbing him gently with my tongue, the pre-cum coating my taste buds like silk. I don't want this gentle leak to stop. I don't want him to hold back now and keep the rest pent up inside of him. Not when he tastes this incredible. My mouth moves onto him and I slip my tongue below him once more, in position, gentle position as I slide down and suckle him, cautioning him that I'm ready. Letting him know with a moan, all he has to do to pleasure me is to give in and finally expel himself into my mouth. My hands crawl up, holding him tight as I begin, latching at his base. My own length rises as I suck, growing harder. And slowly, ruggedly at first, I begin the pattern of pull and push that I know he's longed for so long.*
Billy: *I want to fist his hair, but all I’m getting it the wool of my kilt, fingers tangling in the cloth and losing grasp of his head altogether.* Please, Dommie... *I don’t think I’ve sounded so needy to my own ears. It’s so close and I’m so desperate for it, this release, this terrible, terrific building inside of me.* Please Dommie... almost there, ah... Oh, Dom! *There it is, that yell that’s been building since he first dropped to his knees before me, the one that threatened to break out at every moment but I’ve been saving for this moment, to express my deepest appreciation of the pleasure he’s giving me.* Dom! *I yell his name again, feeling everything snap inside and uncoil as my orgasm arrives, and I thrust myself slickly between his lips again as I release.*
Dom: *I shatter, and grip him to me with all of my strength. The first appearance of that heat; I don't want to lose any of it, so I push myself onto him until he's rippling down my throat, release pouring into me with hardly the need of a swallow. But I swallow anyway, guiding his orgasm as it pulses against my tongue which slides quickly under him with desperate elation. My length is so stiff, I think I might release from this very moment. He's so hot and full, enraptured by this instant of satisfaction, all of his being shuddering through his length. And his cries... Oh, his cries of my name echoing on the walls and the ceiling... I never knew how I missed those cries until now; now that they're wrapping around me like hands. Like his hand on the back of my head, so trapped in its gripping sensation that it can't relax. And if anything...I wish I could see his face, brilliant with the discovery of this feeling. Oh, Billy, you beautiful, sexy, incredible lover... You've done it, love; you've officially made me the horniest man alive... I suck hard on his length even as it slackens, hardly caring to understand his softening muscles, what it means by the dissipation of his cries. I can only feel the beating between my legs to have him now; now that I've spent him. I want him so badly, the tickling feeling is already present at my tip, and I think that I might burst if I so much as move. But I move. My lips slide firmly down his length, and it comes limply from my mouth, and I don't mind. I turn my lips to his skin and kiss hard, opening my mouth near his warm, sweat-touched hairs, moving my tongue and lips over him as I follow that trail to his belly. I lap gently, that salty wetness waiting just under the waist of his kilt where my tongue darts in and tastes him.* Mmmm... *My breath sighs hot onto his skin and I slide my hands up his slick bum, onto his hips, gripping him and making a move to stand. But I wobble, not realising the force of gravity. My legs straighten stiffly and the cloth of his kilt slips off of the dampness of my hair, everything suddenly bright as I move up from the shadow and find my balance. I stand before him, still shaking, holding to him for support, focusing his beautiful, sweat-covered face into my gaze. And when I finally see him, I can only wait a moment before driving into my lips into his, kissing him so desperately that the sensation of my release becomes gravely imminent. I stiffen and release a long moan onto his mouth.*
Billy: *I’m woozy, swaying even as I grip onto him tightly, my mouth relearning his taste with a dash of my own release on his tongue. It’s a good taste, a beautiful, intoxicating taste, and even as I’m catching my breath, my heart still beating a mile a minute, I slide my thigh between his legs and press up, arching against him and giving friction to the heat settled there between his legs. I want to feel that. I want to feel it in my core. I want to hear every noise that he makes and know they’re for me. He’s already given me so much; now I want to return the favour, more than I’ve ever wanted anything. My tongue battles intensely with his as I push him back towards the bed, hands grappling at the slick skin of his back.*
Dom: *Oh-... As though the sound is coming from my lips it swirls in my mind, taken by such sweet and frantic surprise when he pulls into me. And he's kissing me. His tongue pushes possessively through my lips and delivers its rough caresses, my heart feeling an explosion of thrill when his taste spills into mine, mixing with the thick taste of his release still coating my mouth. He moves me toward the bed and I quickly grasp onto his body, afraid to fall. Then I stiffen, feeling his leg rise into my need as he steps forward, pressing firmly, rubbing just enough on that tender spot. I moan, gripping him even tighter as we move, following obediently in the direction he chooses. Oh, I'm so stunned and helpless in my arousal... so needy and in love with his lips, his tongue, his sweat... I'm blind to everything but him. And in my blindness, I don't expect the edge of the mattress to catch me behind the knees, so I gasp out from his mouth, falling back onto the bed and landing with a racing heart.*
Billy: *I am tempted to hold him and catch him before he falls, simply because he feels so good against my half-naked body and even a split second seems to long to be away from him, but instead I let him fall, crawling on top of his body a moment later, rocking down against his hips as I straddle his waist. I bend to take his face in my hands, kissing him deeply as I continue to rub against him.* Make love to me, please Dommie, hmm? *I breathe in between long, spacious kisses.* I want to make you feel so good... I need you to make love to me. *I realize how true it is, that I really do need to feel him inside me. I can almost feel him inside me already, a ghost of a memory from a few days before, and I need to intensify that feeling, hold onto it and never let it slip away.*
Dom: *My fingers grind into the duvet, stiff beneath him, shivering as he rubs against my body without ceasing. My throat is dry, his words like a long stroke to my need. They repeat five hundred times in my head until I go vacant, completely rigid, and it grips me with sudden reality. I'm going to come... One whimper on his lips, and my heart is convulsing with panic. I'm going to come... My body arches, straining against this inevitable breaching, grasping out into the duvet. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. I begin to pant on his lips, terrorized by the thought of the tiniest slip that will send me into oblivion. My hands tear from the bed to his body, anchoring myself to him, gripping into his back as he sends his hips down onto my waist and sets my need on fire. I arch toward the ceiling with a sob. My fingernails dig into his skin. Ohhh Billy... I cry out and heave my weight from under him, rolling him onto the bed beside me and following into his arms. I kiss him desperately, covering him with my weight, not wanting to let go even as I lean back between his legs, kneeling where his kilt has risen to expose that place for me that I need so much. I move close, hands sliding under him, lifting, and pressing forward. Oh-... I go rigid. Trembling, breathless, my arms suddenly drop to brace myself against the bed, still holding him with my hips as my length slides in. I've found him... Ohh Billy... I gasp and push hard until he's all around me, sinking slowly to my hilt, feeling a smile part on my lips.*
Billy: *I cry out, fingertips and fingernails digging deeply into Dom’s back as I try to relax, breathing heavily as my back arches obscenely. After a moment I exhale, legs sliding up around his waist and tightening around his back. I nod, leaning up to press my lips tenderly to his again. There it is, that feeling of utter completeness, the feeling that should never rightly leave me and maybe, just maybe someday I’ll figure out how to make it stick. But until then, I have no problem letting him make love to me at every chance possible.* Please... *I whimper, tightening my legs further, heels digging into his lower back. I nuzzle against his face, not sure when this turned from passion and urgency to tenderness, but I’m not complaining.*
Dom: *I close my eyes lightly, feeling his skin brush mine beautifully, and I nuzzle him back, holding just for a few more moments - just a little while longer to love my Billy before I lose all of my thought. I breathe heavily, his exhalations coming in reply, the only sounds in the entire room, our own private conversation of nothing but utter adoration. We're complete. We've made it. This is the place we've been looking for, for days now we've been looking, since the last time we were connected like this. An eternity of two days ago. I lean down and press my lips to his and don't move away. I stop everything for this moment. I want him to close his eyes and focus on our touch. Focus on me... My muscles tighten and I arch, beginning to pull out. But the friction runs against my length and that imminence springs back, scratching at my tip to slip out. I shake, breaking from Billy's lips with a gasp and a groan, knowing I have only a matter of moments to relish the inside of him. Sweat forms on my brow as I hold off my own release, still moving out stiffly, and then back in, chest tightening without breath. I never want this to end... Please, don't end...* Billy-...
Billy: *My eyes squeeze shut tightly for a long moment as I choke out something resembling a sob, my entire body tightening in pleasure around Dom. I force my eyes open to meet his, because if I don’t look at him I think I’ll explode. My chest heaves as I rock up slowly, feeling him slide that minute bit inside of me, making me shudder deliciously. I fight to keep my eyes open, resolving to not look away from him at all.* Dom... *I whisper, needing to hear his name resounding in the room.* Dom... Dom... Dom...
Dom: *Billy, don't- Don't say my name, I want to tell him. But I can't. I can't possibly. I love hearing him say my name... My gaze is endlessly his, locked on the sight of his two green eyes; the sight makes me fall in love. I love him so much. I hold my breath again and arch, holding the bed beside him, watching him only as I pull out. He curls, reaching around me with tightened hands and holds his breath, too. And it occurs to me that he might be helping me, hanging on to this last moment with me. Staying with me. And we're both praying in our hearts that this will last, as long as we don't take those fatal breaths. But what he doesn't realise is...he can't possibly prevent himself from looking this beautiful. The friction grabs hold of me again and pulls. The shooting pleasures of my arousal pass the point of subsiding, twisting and stroking within my length, crouching at the floodgates and waiting edgily for the right time. My heart lurches sweetly and I feel a cry form inside of me, but it stops at my lips and doesn't come out. It doesn't come out until I've made it gentle; a reply for him.* Billy...
Billy: *It’s hard to hear him speak and not break apart, to not feel my heart and soul twist and tangle around his as he exhales my name, accompanying a wave of pleasure as he slips sweetly into me again. My mouth moves wordlessly with breaths, past the point of speaking now. I don’t have anything to say that my body’s not already expressing a thousand times better than words could ever, anyway. I breathe in on a soft cry, eyes locked intensely on his in order to feel this resonate through my whole body, carried on every sense including that one that no name can ever be assigned to. I want to carry this feeling with me forever, until I’ve forgotten what anything else in the world feels like. Nothing else is more vital than this. And no one else could make me feel like this besides my own, beautiful Dom.*
Dom: *He breathes, and I slide deep inside of him, his body accepting me without question, his wonderful heart loving me so much that I can feel it pass over me when I enter him. It holds gently and squeezes just perfectly, all of the places I love to feel squeezed; his body is the only one gentle enough to know me this way. The only one I've found. His velvet inside passes over me tightly and he holds me close, looking deeply in my eyes, knowing every tightness and roughness and smoothness that I do. He can feel it; he takes my motion and makes it even better. He's looking through my eyes to my thoughts and seeing how I want it to be, and he's moving delicately to the pattern I most love. Slowly, his legs pull me close and beckon me further in. He wants me inside of him. Which I can't understand... Oh my Billy... My eyes tempt to close, but I don't allow them, even as I hear his soft cry and lose all tension in my chest with a sigh. The sigh returns as a gasp. A gasp that slowly fits the shape of a moan that grows in me, my length stopping bluntly inside of him, tiny circles swivelling at my tip and then up the extent of my arousal with a soft push. I stiffen, waiting for that subtle sway of my need, feeling it tilt sensuously over the brink, and then allow it to come. Everything turns into heat and pulses of pleasure, and I hold Billy's gaze solely, watching his beauty shift like colours in light. My heart swells incredibly, a sensation that I've never felt before in an instance like this, and my passion softly slides from my body, muscles shuddering and length caressed by my orgasm in the sudden burst of my release. My lips part around the pieces of my moan, wishing I could say his name. I want to be able to describe what this is. Oh Billy, I love you... I shudder and feel sobs in my heart.*
Billy: *I don’t know how to fully express this gratification, this pure feeling of melding as he spills warmly inside of me. I do my best, however, gasping as my body twists up to meet his, fingers pressing tightly into his back as if they’re fighting to join his skin, to literally become one, attached in every way. I let out a soft whimper as we both settle down to the mattress again, prising my hands from his back to scale up to his cheeks, cupping his face in my hands as I press my forehead to his, shuddering breath mingling with shuddering breath.* I do love you, Dommie... so much. *I murmur, legs not releasing their grip on him as his body quakes through it, holding him for comfort for both of us.*
Dom: *My arms shake, fingers tensing on the duvet as the last of it comes, the last burst of my energy in one great wave. And then suddenly it vanishes, right out from under me, in a whisper of small ripples left to comfort me but nothing more than that and an eternal stillness. A breath shakes loose from my lips and I fall, body giving out slowly onto Billy, conforming to his safe and accepting shape. My forehead presses to his in response and hands move to caress him softly, touching his face, listening to the nothing. But inside I'm slowly pulling his last words down with me, letting them reach into my resting muscles, and mostly into my heart. I don't know why, but I feel like crying.* Billy I love you...
Billy: *It’s not a far reach for my lips to press to his cheeks, but they would have travelled miles to do so if they needed to. It’s important to feel his skin beneath my lips.* Do you know how wonderful you feel? Do you know how glad I am you’ll let me feel you for the rest of my life? *I murmur softly, practically cooing at him as I place kisses here and there, smoothing back his damp hair from his forehead only to replace it with my mouth.*
Dom: *I feel his gentle mouth touch my forehead, his hands putting cool trails in my hair. Slowly, my nose sinks under his chin and I nuzzle him, a tiny bend, one little sigh, and very hesitantly a sad smile tiptoes onto my lips. My hands drift back past his ears, palms cupping around them, fingers wafting lightly against his hair. I want to hold him forever. The real kind of forever. Because he has that smell, just below his jaw - I think it's been left from where I was kissing him there. It's the smell of the two of us. And now it's on us so strongly, I doubt any matter of washing will take it off. I press my nose there, to that smell, to his skin, shaking just noticeably. Please don't go away... I bury my head on his neck, overwhelming myself in it, and wanting to sob.* Billy-...
Billy: *He’s so beautiful, overcome like this. I tighten myself around him further, trying to tuck our bodies together so no one will ever be able to find the seam. My eyes slid shut as I slide my hands down his back, slipping on a lingering sheen of sweat as I attempt to soothe him.* Right here, love. *I kiss his hair, nuzzling into the soft tufts.* Right here...
Dom: I don't-... *I try to tell him, but I just end up shaking, feeling his arms come around me to hold me still. I slide my cheek against his jaw, trying to calm myself as he helps, breathing, simply breathing. That was the most amazing love I've ever made. Our bodies are still warm from it. I hold onto it with all that I have inside of me, still wondering, Is it really going to go away? I whimper into a kiss as I press it to his cheek, lifting my head slightly and kissing him again. Then again. Kissing softly until I'm suspended above him, pulling back to look into his eyes. His gaze sends a tremble through me, so patient and deep. I shake my head barely at all, because I can't remember if I'd meant to do it or not, and then I open my mouth with a breath.* It's never felt like that before.
Billy: *I shake my head, looking him straight in the eyes, wanting to make sure that he understands that I understand. I do. Oh, how I do. It was that desperate feeling, right after he took me in his mouth and sucked me until I felt I would die. It was that feeling right then, when I knew he had to be inside me or we wouldn’t fully understand the weight of this, what we’d committed to tonight, with his parents as our first official witnesses. That’s what this feeling was made for. It seems strange to think so, but it went beyond the sexual, so much more beyond just the physical satisfaction, the lust.* I know, love. *I whisper on a sigh, tipping my head to kiss him again.*
Dom: Mm. *I press my lips to his, closing my eyes, feeling my breath come easily and trembling slow, all through the healing of his body. I hate for it to ever end, such a beautiful touch, but I just can't stay like this. I'm too wound up on this feeling. Experiencing it, for the very first time, like... having never felt the rain before. Or something. He has to know what it means. And if he really knows like he says, I wish he'd tell me. I can't seem to hold onto it for more than a fleeting instant, and then it's gone again. And more of it disappears every time I feel it. I break away from the kiss as gently as I can and look at him until his eyelids flutter open and he gazes at me.* Did you feel it?
Billy: *I trace the ends of his hair on the back of his neck, tipping my head to look closely at him, nodding slowly.* I did. *I murmur, smiling gently at him, opening my mouth to speak before closing it again. How do I describe it? Every time we make love is different, which is why I’m positive we’ll never tire of each other. But this time... this time...* This is what we told your parents, love... that we’re going to be together forever, because we love each other, and we fit like no one else can. *I smile quietly.* The way it should be.
Dom: *A smile grows slightly on my lips, watching him, letting his words run through my mind. We fit like no one else can... That's the way it should be. Billy should have me; no one else should have me. He's going to be here to make love to me for the rest of his life. And I to him. That's the way it should be. My sighs falls out of me in sudden relief and my smile opens up to him brilliantly. He's right. That's what this is. I cuddle into his arms and feel laughter in my heart, briefly touched by that incredible feeling one last time before it slips away. But I don't give it a second thought. I have my Billy. That's all I need for the rest of my life.* Yes... *I whisper, pressing our foreheads together with a smile. Then my heart skips a beat.* I'm going to marry you.
Billy: *The laughter bubbles out of me so that it resembles giggling, and I can’t be bothered to care. Why is it that it seems more real than ever tonight? Perhaps because we’ve brought others into our secret. It’s official. Not that it wasn’t before. Not that either of us would have been interested in backing out. But now it’s bigger than just the two of us. It’s something that’s going to influence others in our lives as well.* Yes you are. *I reply with a grin, nodding happily. I lean up to press my nose to his.* And I’m going to marry you.
Dom: *I shake my head, gently nuzzling us together.* I should buy you a house... *My grin widens, thumbs reaching up to massage his cheeks.* ...with a white picket fence. *On a hill, with a dog, and 2.5 kids... I continue in my head, watching him smile and feeling the laughter tickle my throat a little more persistently than before. I feel like blushing, but I'm sure I have been since I first began touching him in the kitchen.*
Billy: I already have a house! *I reply with a giggling protest.* I suppose you could build a white picket fence if you wanted to. But the cats would probably just scratch it to bits. *I turn my lips to cover the pad of his thumb, still smiling up at him.* I love this house. It’s where we fell in love.
Dom: *I'm sure I've lost my heartbeat completely when he speaks. My smile drifts off for a moment. I run my thumb lightly over his lips and look into his suddenly deep gaze, becoming trapped. ...we fell in love... Before I'd ever known it, Billy had been falling in love with me in this house. It sounds unreal, but I actually swoon and lean down to replace my thumb with my own lips. A small sound spreads from my mouth to his and I sigh, waiting moments there and feeling my head spin - recounting our entire history. He loved me that day he was angry at me for showing at the Alibi for his date with MS; he loved me on my birthday last year, making me a dessert despite the fact that he was upset with me. He loved me when Leon...Elijah...broke his heart, returning home with tears in his eyes and ending our letters forever. He loved me on Christmas Eve. Before I'd ever said "I love you," he loved me too. If he hadn't...I don't think he would have ever come out with me in the first place that night. He would have never known. Then...I wouldn't either. How long has... I break our kiss, taking a small breath and looking at him with a bit of surprise.* ...How long have you loved me?
Billy: *I stroke a palm down the back of his neck, feeling the soft hairs against my skin as I glance over at the clock on the nightstand before scrunching my face up in concentration.* If we’re talking about how long I’ve known I loved you, then I’d have to say... 334 days, 18 hours, and 34 minutes, approximately. *I nod in satisfaction, smiling at his expression.* But if we’re talking about how long I actually loved you, without even being aware of it... probably closer to 350, 370 days. I’d assume.
Dom: *I suddenly break with astonished laughter, adoring Billy so much that I lean down and nuzzle him with several kisses.* Love... *I laugh on his skin, kissing again before cupping his face softly and finding his gaze.* I mean... *I stop, and allow a little more laughter to come between my thoughts and actually speaking them. My sweetheart- How on earth did he do all of that math? He amazes me more every day. My heart spins delightedly.* I'm sorry, love, I have no idea when that was... *I grin at him, the temptation to laugh slowing briefly.* Maybe if you told me...what happened when you first started loving me?
Billy: You mean you don’t remember? *I try to pretend to be hurt, but it doesn’t last for longer than a split second, and then I’m giggling along with him.* I don’t either, actually. I mean, it’s difficult to pinpoint a distinct moment. *I pause, biting my lip, trying to remember exactly when it was. Hmm...* I suppose if I had to think of an exact moment, I’d say when you told me you were going to stay with me. Up until that point, I still thought you were planning on going back to Britain. That I was going to lose you. *My smile brightens subtly as I remember.* MS told me in a letter you were staying... but until you told me yourself, that afternoon when you were sick and I was sitting with you, I couldn’t be sure. And then you told me, and I knew I’d never have to be alone again.
Dom: *My smile softens suddenly, lovingly, and I can't help but dip down to him again.* Aw, love... *I brush our cheeks together for a moment before leaning back to catch his lips in a small kiss.* I remember that. *My smile begins to return, remembering how I felt so dizzy, lying in bed that first morning I got sick. We were going to see a movie together; our first movie together. But he made me stay home, and took care of me. He sat on the edge of the bed. No... he sat closer to me than that. And I wanted to hold his hand. I lean back now and look into his eyes with slight, smiling wonder. I remember the tiniest things with Billy so vividly. I even remember the taste of the juice he gave me that day.* I don't suppose you imagined being here with me like this... *I reply to him, grinning hesitantly.*
Billy: Certainly not initially, no. *I respond honestly, running my fingers through the hair on the back of his head. Except...* I imagined having MS here like this, though. And I already had you in bed. So I suppose you could say the two situations combined into one. The best possible one. *I plant a kiss on his lower lip, smiling at him in consideration.* When did you first fall in love with me?
Dom: *My smile blooms at his last comment and then fades. When did I first fall in love with you?..., I ask curiously in my own mind. Billy... I thought it was obvious...* The day I met you. *My voice almost sounds surprised; softly surprised. But I think, perhaps, I'm half surprised at myself. I didn't even know I loved him at that time. But now it seems so obvious Surely he knew; he could see it in my eyes when he first took me into his house that day to patch up my cat scratches, and talked to me like he wanted me to stay... I gaze at him without stirring. Didn't we both know then?*
Billy: What? *I whisper incredulously, my eyes widening slowly. The day we met? When he was nearly mauled to death by my cats?* Did you? *I breathe, smile bending quickly as I consider the idea. That day... I was afraid he’d never come back. I was afraid he’d stop delivering my mail. But he came back, day after day. And look what’s become of us now? I really need to give those cats a raise. I mean, a treat.*
Dom: *I nod slightly, my smile drifting back as I see his lips sweetly bend. He remembers it. He knows. And now our entire history is being repainted with the clarity of this one fact... We've been falling in love with each other ever since we first met on his doorstep.* I did. Very much. *I answer him finally, brushing the hair above his ears with my fingers and smiling. Then I remember...* I didn't know it at first... I thought I just needed someone to talk to... *I pause, my smile bending suddenly.* ...so I kept letting myself come back here. To deliver your mail. See how you were doing... As though your circumstances would have changed that drastically in one day, yeah? *I look at him a little embarrassedly. He's silent, and I look for an indication of his feelings. I can't tell... He's listening so patiently, I can't read him.* ...I don't think-... That is... I didn't realise that visiting you was my favourite part of the day. I thought about it all the time. Wondering when I'd see you. What you were doing. ...It made being here... *I pause, holding to him.* Bearable, you know? As much as I thought I wanted to leave...
Billy: *I nod quickly. It was the best part of my day as well. It didn’t seem like such a drastic change, when he came into my life like he did, but now that I look back, I see how much he changed my life for the better, even back in those beginning days.* You thought Margaret was my wife. *I remember suddenly with a giggle, grin spreading from ear to ear.* What a ridiculous notion. You thought she was my wife, and I left her in Scotland.
Dom: *His laughter causes my smile to grow automatically, and I begin to giggle the more that I listen.* Did I? *I tease, pretending to consider it. But my laughter gets the better of me and I just end up looking at him fondly, loving the way his voice changes when he's giggling happily, in my arms.* I was tricked. She deliberately didn't write her relation to you on the card to confuse me. And it didn't help that I was jealously in love with you, either, you know. I would've thought all sorts of things before thinking you'd actually be available for a relationship.
Billy: Margaret Boyd, sister. Or Sister Margaret Boyd. Sounds like a nun. *I giggle uncontrollably, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as I grin.* I’m sorry. I’ll tell her to be more considerate next time. *Opening my eyes slowly, I run my fingers down his spine consideringly.* So, tell me this. Once you’d started writing to me as MS and you found out I was very definitely interested in a relationship, with another man no less, why didn’t you just jump me then and there? I wouldn’t have minded, honest.
Dom: *My brow rises and I smile, goose bumps growing not only from his soft touches running the length of my back, but also simply due to his words. He wouldn't have minded? Was he actually...attracted to me? So, if I had just come into his room one night... for some reason... and ended up, somehow, in his bed, maybe...without clothes on...he would have... not minded? Or could he have...possibly...wanted to come to my room one night?...* Billy... *I laugh a little now, still in a bit of surprise at the both of us.* I let MS steal you away from me, didn't I? ...Bugger. That's what happened, you know. He almost became this other person after a while, and... It was like, me loving you was...trespassing on your relationship with him.
Billy: *I suppose I’ve never really spent the time trying to put myself in Dom’s mindset while he was writing letters for MS. They probably did seem like two completely different people, didn’t they? At least to Dom. While MS was getting all my love, Dom was just getting... me. I don’t suppose I’ve thought of it that way.* You know, now that I think about it... *I respond curiously after a moment’s pause.* ...had you and MS not been the same character, and had you told me you loved me anyway... I probably would have had to dump MS for you.
Dom: *I smile... and then nearly double-take.* You-... *I look at him with surprise now, smile disappeared with this new thought. He would have... Given up those...letters, pretty words, poems, expressions of devotion...to him, from MS... For me. Just some bloke living in his house who never said anything nearly romantic to him, ever, no matter how many times he'd thought about doing it. The one person I thought he'd be least likely to fall in love with, especially after I'd started those bloody letters and got MS mucking up my chances. He would rather...have me? Is he saying that...?* You would-... I mean, even before you'd found out that the letters were from me... *My brow furrows, not understanding.* You loved me more than MS?
Billy: You were real. *I say quietly, nodding to answer his question, fingers tracing his shoulder blades.* MS was words on a piece of paper, lovely words yes, but nothing more than words. I’d just about given up on anything real with MS. But you were here, you were around, you were my best mate. All that was missing from that was the attraction, the romance, and if I’d been honest with myself from the beginning I’d have seen how much I was attracted to you. *I smile and close my eyes, pushing my forehead to his.* All you would have had to say was that you were in love with me, and that you wanted to be with me. In the end, on Christmas Eve, it was you I picked, not MS. I don’t think the letters were really the reason behind why I fell in love with you. Not that they weren’t the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me, but... it was you I fell in love with.
Dom: Bill... *I feel so close to him; when he breathes, I can feel it on my face, and I close my eyes to the touch. He's the sweetest thing I've ever had. And he has his arms around me. He loves me. I never even had to pick up one sheet of paper for those bloody letters... I never had to say one word. And all this time, I thought...he didn't... MS didn't even matter. Oh, Billy... I nuzzle him softly, smiling growing back onto my lips. This is the best thing that I've ever known.* Sweetheart, I... I. *Laughter comes through my mouth softly and I shake my head.* I don't understand... *But I think I do now, more than ever.*
Billy: *My smile grows and I press my nose to his cheek, nuzzling gently.* Of course you do. *I say lovingly. We don’t speak of MS too much these days. And it’s not even that we avoid the subject. It’s just... he’s not an important part of either of our lives anymore. And neither of us mind that at all.* It’s not MS who’s in my bed, in my arms at this very moment. It’s not MS who’s still inside me. *I blink open my eyes to look closely at him, whispering.* It’s you.
Dom: *And I want to be the only one, ever. My eyes search his; the beautiful eyes that I love. I feel myself inside of him and know this is where I'm meant to be; the place I've been shaped my entire life to fit. You'll never have to hurt because no one seems to know you; if there's no one around to love you and fill you up like this. I'm going to be here to do all of those things. I'll be here for the rest of your life.* I'm going to love you forever... *I whisper. My eyes don't even move from his. The space between us is so strong, and we're pressing against it.* I mean it. Forever.
Billy: ‘Till death do us part. Only a lot longer than that. *I affirm quietly, leaning up to kiss him, lips resting against his. There. Now every part of us is connected like it should be. Body and soul. I pull back finally, eyes fluttering open to meet his. Eye contact is important too.* I don’t doubt it.
Dom: *I smile gently now that I have his kiss on my lips. It's there to stay, to wait for the next, and the next, and the next, and to be kept company by all of the others that came before it. What will happen when I kiss him on our wedding day? You would think I'd be full up...but I know that it's only going to open a door to millions to come. Till death do us part... I want to say those words to him. He'll be the only one who can ever take those words from my lips. My eyes flicker in his gaze and I lean in for an impulsive kiss, sighing when I feel that touch and relaxing myself onto him, slowly, slowly, until it's completely silent. I let go, and look at him again, taking him in contentedly.* You were incredible today, Billy Boyd... *I smile and raise my fingers to gently brush his cheeks.* In very, very many ways.
Billy: Mmm, speak for yourself, Mr. Monaghan. *I respond with a bright grin, hands sliding down his back to rest over his bum.* You perfect man... how is it you always know exactly what I need, when I need it? I don’t always even know that.
Dom: Well...I've had a lot of practice finding out what you need. *I answer, smiling cleverly and shifting my weight, reaching a hand behind my back.* ...And it just so happens...that most of what you need coincides with what I want. Now, do you really want me to make love to you again? *I ask with a laugh, finding his hands in my grasp and moving them up from my bum to my back again.* Because I really think you're asking for it.
Billy: *I bite back a grin and try teasingly to slide my hands back to his bum, finally settling with resting them on his lower back.* Can’t help that I fancy your bum like crazy. *I murmur happily, drumming a pattern on his back with my fingers.* And you know I could never honestly say no to that question... though I suppose there’s a place and a time for everything... and since your parents will probably be home soon, I don’t suppose this is it. *I laugh softly, knowing that if it weren’t for that little detail, we’d probably stay in bed and make love for the rest of the day.*
Dom: Which means... *I take a breath, sliding my hands back up Billy's sides and then pressing them into the bed.* ...I should probably get off of you. Make the situation less tempting. *I grin at him happily, teasing, before pushing myself up and feeling his arms slide off of me as I lean back. Ohh, I didn't realise how good that felt. My brow bends as I lift my hips, bending back, slowly pulling out of him. I hate the feeling... I want to be inside of him forever, where it's warm and safe and lovely on all sides. This just feels cold. I come free and sigh, looking down at him where he's lying, his beautiful body. He's always like this afterwards. Glowing. Perfect. Like something wonderful has found him and slipped over him during our act and hasn't yet decided to leave him. Like that kilt. I laugh inside, seeing it still hanging onto him. There it is; that silly thing that started this whole wonderful mess, bunched up in quite a lovely way at his waist. A smile starts on my lips again while I'm watching him and I move carefully to his side, stretching out beside him now and opening my arms for all that I know will enter them as soon as I do.* You're still wearing clothes, sweetheart. *I grin at him.*
Billy: *I roll my eyes, looking down at my body, seeing the kilt bunched up tightly around my waist. What my gran would say now, if she saw me mistreating my nice kilt, only to be worn on special occasions... not the time to start thinking of my gran.* Not my fault you couldn’t wait until I undressed. *I remind teasingly, turning over onto my side and sliding into his arms. I make a face, reaching down to spread out my kilt a little more so I’m not lying uncomfortably on bunches.* I’m going to have to get this dry cleaned. I’m going to have kilt burn!
Dom: *A laugh bubbles out of my mouth and soon I'm giggling madly. I wrap Billy up in my arms and give him a squeeze, tipping my head down to his cheek and kissing him. My Billy the most adorable man alive...* Should I lotion your bum, love? *I ask, teasing, still giggling lightly. I rub my hands over his back, expecting a Look from him and quickly changing the subject.* I think you owe me an explanation... About the kilt...
Billy: I think you should... *I grumble lightly with a smile, tucking myself against him and kissing a trail along his chin.* What do you mean, an explanation? Kilts are meant to be worn during special occasions. I figured if there ever was one, this was it. I’ve not had the chance to wear one in a long time; did I look silly?
Dom: *I pull back, looking at him with a flash of surprise. Is he bloody kidding?? I nearly died at that dinner table, sitting so near to him. Couldn't he feel the heat pouring off my body? My eyes search into his for any sign of teasing, not finding any.* Are you bloody mad? *I ask, using my most extreme stock of honesty, and hoping he won't get the wrong impression.* That kilt-... *Is the sexiest thing I've seen, makes me want to... Oh, Bill.. * ...You looked like bloody sex on legs.
Billy: *I look at him with disbelief, mouth opening and closing rapidly as I feel myself blush a deep pink, and finally I laugh with absurdity, tucking my face against his chest.* Is that why you were acting so odd at dinner? I thought you were just nervous. I really didn’t mean to distract you so. That wasn’t my intention. *I giggle a bit, looking back up at him as soon as I’m sure the pink in my cheeks has died down.* Although I’ll certainly know how to get your attention next time, hmm? *I waggle my eyebrows at him, breaking out into fresh peals of laugher.*
Dom: Not in front of my parents though, yeah? *He laughs and I can't help but laugh with him, grinning from ear to ear as I watch him. He's irresistible when he does it. The way his eyes glitter over. How he curls into my arms embarrassedly. And that colour on his cheeks... I quickly cuddle him close to me and nuzzle his warm skin.* You're gorgeous, Bill. *I giggle, holding him to me.* If you ever wanted to kill me, just put on a kilt and glasses.
Billy: Sounds more like something that would kill me. I’ll get beat up, simply on the grounds of being the nerdiest man alive. *I grin and sit up in bed, fiddling with the fastenings on my kilt until I can get them undone. I peel the garment off and fling it away, sighing in relief as I settle down at his side again, naked. I slide a leg up around his torso and pull us together, cuddling close in his arms and looking closely at him.* I don’t really think I’m ever going to have the desire to kill you, love.
Dom: *I grin at him, wrapping my arms in their place around his lower back and scooting as close as I possibly can. Yeah, this feels right... His familiar bare skin presses to me and I smile even wider. He's never worried of what I'll think of him when he's fully exposed and so close to me. He's the most self-confident person I've ever slept with; or maybe the most trusting. He trusts me...to think he's beautiful, no matter what. And I do. Billy, I do...* I'm glad your intentions aren't...murderous. *I reply softly, with a smile.* It'd be a real gutter to find out you'd married me just to kill me.
Billy: That’d be a real twist, eh? That I married you for your money. *I laugh and press my laughing mouth to his briefly and, finding I like it so much, decide to stay for a little while. I kiss him slowly, deeply, lovingly, my mouth still smiling as I come out of the kiss.* I suppose I could just take all that I’d get from your will out of your wallet now, save myself the trouble of actually killing you. *I grin and rest my head back on the pillow, watching him.*
Dom: Mm... *I sigh, suddenly subdued, lips tingling with the kiss.* Maybe you should wait for my next pay check then, hey? *I grin at him, letting my head sink into my pillow. Or Billy's. ...It doesn't really matter. My hands massage on the small of his back, slowly, knowing how he likes it.* Anyway, if you decide against killing me, you could always just keep me around... You know, for occasions like these.
Billy: *I feel like purring; he knows me so well, knows what I like and where I like it.* Occasions like these, hmm? When there’s a huge mess downstairs in the kitchen to be cleaning up, guests to attend to, and about a thousand other things to do? *I grin and blink slowly at him.* In other words, the exact times when all I want to be doing is making love? *I rest my lips against the corner of his mouth, closing my eyes.* Yes, you’re quite useful for those times. I may keep you around.
Dom: Mm. *I turn my head, that slight tilt that allows me to catch Billy's lips and hold them, kissing like I know he'd like to be kissed. I forget our words, practicing a new communication on his mouth, sure that he'll understand these long, slow strokes... My fingers press down the base of his spine and make little circles with my fingertips. I feel subtly sleepy, rocking myself in the motion. Yes, Billy... Let's fall asleep, love... I want nothing more than to forget the world and go dreaming with you... I'm forgetting the control of my lips, moving them rhythmically but without conscience, tasting his mouth as a lullaby for my senses. What a perfect taste... The sound of a door echoes from downstairs and I jump, breaking from the kiss instantly. The front door... Mum and Dad... There are footsteps and following is the mumble of quiet voices in the entryway, and I listen, even though I know I won't be able to make out their words.* Bullocks. *I whisper to Billy, and my heart sinks a bit. They weren't supposed to actually come back. They were supposed to leave and let Billy and I have a day or more to just lie together and snog; never have to worry about dishes or company again.*
Billy: *I bolt upright in bed as soon as I hear the click of the front door, the sound of hesitant footprints, muffled voices...* Shite... *I breathe. How short was their walk? Surely they can’t have been gone long. I turn to look at the clock. They’ve only been gone... a long time. Shite.* Clothes, Dommie, we need to put on clothes! *I turn to look at him, eyes going wide. It’s going to look so suspicious if we’re both wearing new outfits. But I really don’t want to struggle with the kilt again. And our hair looks dishevelled. And... oh bugger all this can’t be happening...*
Dom: Bill. *I try to get his attention as he turns to the dresser, opening drawers frantically. I sit up on the bed, watching him, wishing he'd just stop for a minute and breathe. We're obviously not going back down there. In all honesty...we stink, we're messy, and there's a ghost of a smile plastered to my lips that isn't about to go away.* Billy. *I try again, his hurried hands digging through a drawer for his trousers.* Billy Boyd. William, this is your naked fiancé speaking... *He takes out a pair of boxers and hops into them quickly, grabbing his trousers next and still paying no attention to anything I'm saying. I mean, I just played the two best cards in my hand with that last sentence and he isn't even turning to give me that Look. It's almost adorable, my beautiful love getting so worked up over my parents. Wouldn't he rather be in bed with me right now than driving himself dizzy running circles like that around the room like that? He pulls on his trousers and fastens them, covering up more of his lovely skin, and I can't take it.* Bill, do you really want to go down there? Try to pretend that we didn't do anything? Mum probably already knows... In fact, I know she knows, Bill. They left to let us... Well... Going down there would just make things weird, yeah? I mean, we don't exactly look like we just went up for some fresh dish towels out of the linen closet. *I pause, tempted to laugh a bit, but he still isn't giving me any attention. I go on, softening my voice.* Let them alone. Let's have a bit more time to... Well, kiss. I want to kiss you. Okay? So come back to bed, silly thing.
Billy: *My movements are never-ceasing, hands already diving for a shirt when he finishes his words. They’ve made it to my ears, though. I know what he’s saying. And the idea that his parents know is terrifying and liberating at the same time. They know... of course they know. They know this isn’t just a marriage of convenience. But still... shoving it in their faces isn’t going to make things any easier. Which is what we’d be doing if we... went downstairs. Damn it. And here I was, sure it’d be worse if we just stayed in bed. Which is an appetizing idea. And perhaps not such a bad one after all. My fingers stop moving and I turn to Dom, putting down the shirt I was about to put on and giving him a look of nervous doubt.* Don’t you think we should go down, just to be good hosts? *My voice isn’t very convincing. I don’t feel convinced. In fact, I step to the edge of the bed, knowing full and well that in doing so I’m giving him permission to undress me and take me back to bed. Which I think is fine by me.*
Dom: *My smile broadens when he finally turns around. And there he is, my defeated little Billy, standing at the end of our bed, wanting so much not to go downstairs. I want to nab him and hug him and pull him back into bed with me this second for it.* No. *I say, a little laugh in my throat. I push myself up from the bed and scoot toward him, stopping in front of him and getting up on my knees. My hands go to his waist, smile reflecting in his eyes where I kneel unsteadily before him.* You're not their host anymore, you're their son-in-law. *I grin cleverly at him, not expecting the rush of emotion that hits me when I hear my own words. My heart leaps and I lean in impulsively to kiss his lips, staying for a while. I pull away, pressing my forehead to his.* ...They can't have you anymore tonight. I claimed you first.
Billy: Selfish... your mother would scold you for that, you know. *I murmur, heaving a great, contented sigh. It doesn’t take long to convince me, not when I have a naked fiancé who very much wants to take me back to bed and kiss me. Can’t argue with that... logic. I tip my mouth forward, catching his lips with mine again as my hands return to the button of my trousers, only breaking the kiss once I’ve undone them, pushing them and my boxers off quickly, holding out my arms.* Take me back to bed, then.
Dom: *My smile spreads from ear to ear, hands sliding onto his bare skin again, feeling how soft it is - much softer than boxers and trousers and other things that aren't allowed in our bed. I lean in with a grin and wrap him in my arms, feeling him wrap me up as well. And soon I'm tugging him gently back onto the bed, laughing softly as we stumble over the duvet and holding onto him as we sink back into the cushions and our pillows. I look at him as I nestle back into place, close to his warmth, and smile when our gazes connect.* Well, here you are. *I tease, watching his little grin, heart beating with fascination. I can't believe my Billy just neglected my parents for kisses. I love him so much.*
Billy: *I grin and nuzzle close, quickly bringing us back to the point we were before I panicked, right where we should be. It’s as if nothing’s changed at all... except for the fact that there are now two more people in the house. But I don’t mind. They’ll understand.* Here we are... *I respond with a light sigh, reaching a hand up to trace his cheek slowly, fingertips lingeringly worshipping ever inch of skin. I raise my eyebrows.* So, are you going to kiss me or what? That was part of the bargain, if I remember correctly.
Dom: Was it? *I ask, and almost automatically lean into his lips with a smile. And gradually my smile dissipates. Then there's nothing left but our kiss. His lips moving on mine, mine on his, lovingly, slowly, with all of the weight of this day relieved from our bodies; the way we made love this evening. The way my heart flew like I'll never forget. The way we knew each other so well and learned each other all at the same time. I love this day. I love Billy like I never have. So I kiss him like I never have, and keep kissing him despite the hour, the dishes in the sink, and my parents, who I know will understand and love us both. I kiss him, holding him, continually thinking, I am so thankful for Billy Boyd...*
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