Letter and Reply 10
Thursday, October 16th and Friday, October 17th
Letter and Reply 10
Delivered at 2:34 pm, Thursday, October 16th.
Dear Billy,
Negotiations for your trade are unnecessary, I’m afraid. I’ve already taken you up on it. And you wouldn’t believe how light I feel now to have finally given my heart away.
That sounded like a sweet gesture, Billy, sending that Valentine’s card to the girl. I’m sorry that things didn’t turn out afterward. I can’t imagine why. Perhaps she was betrothed. Or a nun. Well…a ten-year-old nun. (Don’t worry, I’m completely joking). What a tragedy for her to lose you.
You might discover that my getting off topic is a usual occurrence. I don’t mean to wander, really.
I’m glad we’re getting to know each other this way, too. I mean, you know I’m Dom’s friend, I know you’re a schoolteacher, and, based on your last letter, I know you like me... There’s so much information to be learned this way, don’t you think?
To reiterate: you like me.
And you’ve saved me for best. Billy, you are amazing. I don’t know why you keep saying all of these wonderful things to me. You drive me crazy, you know that, right? I wish I could do so much more for you, to repay for all of it. I hate having to put everything off due to my self-consciousness – (but not only that; it is an amusing game). I kind of want to keep playing around with these letters, don’t you?
Also, you never know about Dom. He might be more interested in your love life than you realise. I don’t think he’d be too cold against answering some of your questions. Especially if you get him cozied-up like you’re planning. Who could resist such a thing from you? I’ve told him what he can say about me, though he already has a good idea. And I promise, even if he wants me to hear it, I won’t let him tell me anything embarrassing or private about you. I wouldn’t want to pry. I really care about you, Billy, and I wouldn’t want to know anything that would make you lose trust in me. In fact, I do enjoy finding little things out for myself. Then I feel like it’s my own story of you to keep.
You did say ‘love life’, didn’t you?
Meanwhile...
I’m glad that my physical attributes meet your approval, so to speak. Perhaps Dom could expand a bit on it sometime. I’m not very good at putting ‘myself’ down on paper. I suppose my own opinion is a bit biased about my looks. After all, I’ve never really considered myself to be a very attractive person. But, then, I never really thought I was simply unbearable. Perhaps I’m just another one of those people who tends to stay in the middle, where it’s safe. Though I wouldn’t say that I’m opposed to having your opinion of me someday.
Billy, you are the loveliest man I’ve ever had a mail-based correspondence with. Or anything else with for that matter. You would take up a lot of my time? You would really do such a thing for me? Frequently? Well, then I can only hope that I’ll introduce myself sooner. Then you might “get used to spending as much time possible with” me as early as you are able. Though I don’t think that it would take much getting used to on my part, when I think of it.
No one has ever spoken this way to me before, Billy. I really and truly mean it when I say that you are amazing to me. Literally everything you write to me is a new surprise, and every day I wait for more. I can’t believe we’ve come so far in such a short time. Without so much as a spoken ‘hello,’ I feel that I’ve held you ten thousand times. If I could see your happiness, written all over you, face-to-face, I think I might fall apart. There is such a feeling in me that I’ve never experienced before, and it seems like the world is going just the way I want. All because it’s revolving around you.
Though you say that I have no limits on my boldness, I feel that I’ve used enough for one day. But I’ll conclude it all on this: I’m so relieved to hear that you aren’t involved with anyone. Not because I don’t want you to be with anyone. Just that… I don’t want you to be with anyone else.
Boldness suits you, Billy. Don’t ever feel the need to drive it away. We’ll just keep nurturing it so it will grow, hey?
I suppose I should end this letter with something sweet. Something like, “I’m already waiting for your next letter to arrive.” That is entirely true. But, more correctly, I’m now only waiting for the night to come so I may sleep and dream more pictures of you.
Miss You Already,
-MS
Delivered at 6:01 pm, Friday, October 17th
Dear MS,
Well, as long as the terms are fair, I see no reason not to proceed with the trade. And I find them agreeable enough, don’t you? I will warn you though. This is not a deal that can be gone back on. It’s a fairly permanent thing. Or, at least as a deal can be when agreed to through a letter.
We’ll have to wait until we meet in person to shake on it.
I don’t really think it’s fair for you to tell me I’m driving you crazy, do you, hmm? After all, at least you’ve been able to catch a glimpse and hold onto it. Do you know how difficult it is to spend all your time thinking about one person without even having a face to place? All I have are your words which, beautiful as they are, do not serve as a proper visual. Let me tell you, it makes daydreaming about dates very difficult.
I don’t have any reservations when I say that receiving these letters has been one of the most rewarding, exciting, and, well, downright romantic things to have ever happened to me. Perhaps, given that fact, I could be thought of as foolish for assuming any more. But I’d like to assume that this will surpass these letters, and we will find something resembling our bond through these letters in real life as well, only in a slightly more tangible version.
It feels like online dating almost sometimes, and that is when I’m in a particularly nervous mood. It could be hit or miss. People always seem different in print than they do in real life. But then, in the more frequent, optimistic moods, I know it’s more than that, because you know me, don’t you? You didn’t select me randomly. At least I hope you didn’t. This came about for a reason, didn’t it? Well, if you believe in fate and all that... which, at this moment, I’d love to place my trust in.
But I’m getting way ahead of myself, aren’t I?
I can’t help but feel a bit bad for Dom through all this, being our go between. Messenger boy. But he must get that a lot, mustn’t he? Anyway, he seems almost... happy to be doing it. I suppose he’s happy for his friends. You know, I’ve been thinking lately about Dom, and how one day he’ll be gone. It’s not everyday someone walks into your life and becomes a huge part of it, even though you know in just a little while he’ll be gone forever. The temporariness of this situation has been bothering me lately. Because I know I’ll miss him. He’s been the truest friend I’ve had in a long time. And he’s made my house more of a home.
I don’t really want to think about it. For now, I’ll just concentrate on making his life a misery by pestering him with questions about you. But if I’m right, and he does get some sort of satisfaction out of this whole affair, he’ll enjoy lording it over me that he knows something I don’t know, and eventually give in with that cheeky smile of his. You know the one.
I can’t wait to see what you look like so I may draw my own conclusions as to whether or not you’re attractive. Though I’m a bit biased myself, don’t you think? After all, a person with a wonderful personality is automatically attractive. And you’ve got that one down.
I do wish I knew how you could get away with using words like “lovely” about me. It’s not a word I hear often. I just hope you’re not setting yourself up for a letdown when you realize I’m just an average guy.
How do I let you get away with calling me lovely, for that matter? Anytime anyone’s ever said anything close to that nice about me I’ve brushed it off, knowing it for it’s impurity. But with you... why is it I believe you? How is it that I know you’re sincere? It amazes me.
The happiness is written all over me these days. Every smile I give, every bounce in my step; you’ve had a hand in it somehow. It all boils down to the way these letters have had such a profound effect on my day-to-day life. I’m not sure how much you realize that so much of the man I am today is, well, you. Because of you.
I look for you every day. Every smile, every turned head, I see you. It’s one good part about not knowing exactly what you look like, I suppose. It means that no matter where I am, I’m convinced you’re with me. But I suppose you are in a way, aren’t you?
Tomorrow is not soon enough.
-Billy
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