2004 : Reborn

Untitled

01-07-04

Shackled at the ankles

Anchored with despair

Locked up in a padded room

That isn’t really there

Smothered with a blanket

Of pure insanity

Hung by a noose of lies

Shame you couldn’t see

You forged the shackles

With your own two hands

You cast you the anchor

So she couldn’t stand

Trapped her in a room

Of hopeless fantasies

Made each stitch yourself

Choked her till she couldn’t breath

Untitled

01-08-04

Sitting in the darkness

Blind folded and gagged

Walking the tight rope

Trusting it won’t sag

Be it faith in God

Be it faith in man

It all works out the same

It’s never in your hand

Ship Wrecked in Misery

01-25-04

Raped, bloody

Left beaten and broken

Heart ripped from my chest

And saved like a token

A trophy; A ribbon

Like some sick fuck’s prize

That he keeps in his dresser

To remember me by

Choke on the blood

That is only my own

Tongue torn from my mouth

Lips forever sewn

He took all he wanted

He took all I had

Took my esteem, my dignity

Left me crippled real bad

Can’t run, can’t walk

Crawl through bloody puddles

Can’t scream, can’t breath

Memories misconstrued and muddled

Reaching, tearing, clawing

Just can’t hold on

In the blink of a bruised eye

Everything’s gone

All that I’ve trusted

All that I’ve known

He pulled from beneath me

From my feet I’ve been thrown

I gave all I had

But it’s never enough

They always want more

They always play rough

Can’t sail far in a ship

With your mast snapped in two

Can’t swim far

Beat black and blue

There’s a gash in the hull

In the cold waters, sinking fast

The last lifeboat he took

No way can I last

Tears lost in ocean

Cries you don’t hear

Safe from the wreckage

So far from near

Cold freezes the blood

Heart does weaken

Body numbs

Final breath taken

Lungs fill with water

Surface not found

Ship wrecked in misery

Alone I drown

Hugs and Kisses

02-03-04

Plucked a rose from a garden

Sang a song of time since past

Sat and chiseled ice sculptures

Of memories meant to last

Lay your head upon my breast

Close your eyes and drift away

May the current be your guide

Take you back to better days

Where love does blossom

In the most unlikely heart

And if tend to with care

Nothing can ever tear it apart

A friendship made stronger

The tighter your grip

But never take it for granted

Don’t let it slip

For a friendship forgotten

Is Cupid’s arrow that misses

And it’s only you who I wish

To smother in hugs and kisses

Another Drink to You

02-10-04

Feelings, emotions

Flowing like a river

Crashing against rocks

Reshaping the land

Dark storm clouds

Drench the sky

Tears of frustration

Run fast to quivering lips

Questions and doubts

Plague every crevice of the mind

Fear fills the soul

As wine fills the glass

Another late night

To play with her demons

Another Juliet

02-19-04

It’s time to play the game you taught

It’s time to show all that I got

To raise my fist, put up a fight

We could do this shit straight through the night

No more smiles or friendly hugs

But point blank to your chest, twenty slugs

I don’t forgive, I won’t forget

The tables turn, the bars been set

I lost before, now it’s your turn

To see exactly all that I’ve learned

To feel the pain of the twisting knife

The doubt and uncertainty sucking away your life

I was just another girl

Another chapter in your story

I’m a character on paper

You just couldn’t let be

Did you forget I’m a person

I can cry too

I feel pain

There’s more than just you

But I guess you wouldn’t notice

I suppose you forget

All I was to you

Was another Juliet

And if that torment just isn’t enough

We’ll see how you like it when I play rough

I won’t be another victim of suave Romeo

Who locked up my heart and just won’t let go

I break free of restraints holding back

Stand tall, head held high, I fight back

I’m not weak, I’ve not lost, and I won’t let you win

This fight isn’t over till you throw the towel in

Sick of you thinking I’ll roll right over

That I’ll take what I get and accept that it’s over

You walk all over me, kick me when I’m down

And expect me to walk away without a single sound

I was just another girl

Another chapter in your story

I’m a character on paper

You just couldn’t let be

Did you forget I’m a person

I can cry too

I feel pain

There’s more than just you

But I guess you wouldn’t notice

I suppose you forget

All I was to you

Was another Juliet

But I have a surprise for you, dumb fuck

I’m calling the shots now, and you’re shit out of luck

Too bad you didn’t turn away when you had the chance

Now it’s I who gets the last dance

I pick the music, and I choose the steps

They’re pooling their money, and making their bets

But we both know how this story goes

The tragic ending, everyone knows

Only this time I won’t be put to shame

Only this time when they remember my name

I’ll no longer be the nice girl who’d never hurt a fly

But the only bitch to ever make dear Romeo cry

I was just another girl

Another chapter in your story

But I broke free the chains

Crushing your reality

I’m more than a character

I cry too

I feel pain

I’m better than you

I will make you see

I won’t let you forget

Never again will I be

Just another Juliet

Can’t Forget

02-22-04

I yearn to forget

That which I remember

Of a brilliant new love

Born in cold December

A time, a place

That never should have been

Where feelings did blossom

Oh, how I wished it wouldn’t end

The touch of your body

Upon my cold skin

The tingling sensation

The way I would always give in

Now I sit in darkness

Oh, why can’t I love you less?

Tortured by details

I want so to cast my sails

To float away so very far

To lose myself under the stars

Forget your face, forget your name

But in the end it’s all the same

The sound of your laugh

I loved the way you’d make me smile

If only I could erase it all

My memory wouldn’t be on trial

Blackmail, assault, attempted murder

Defendant stands; the juries in

Tried, convicted and found guilty

Mesmerized by the curves of your body

That sparkle in your eyes, the smell of your cologne

Take it back! Free my soul!

Take it back! Let me go!

I sit in darkness

Wishing to love you less

Memory tortures me with details

Just let me cast my sails

I want to float away so far

To lose myself under the stars

Forget your face, forget your name

But in the end it’s all the same

I remember watching you drive away

Standing, abandoned in the middle of the street

As you grew smaller the further you got

Just as fresh as the day you swept me off my feet

Imprisoned by these memories

I claw these walls that hold me in

Suffocating, they’re closing in on me

With your face plastered all over them

I just can’t fight this any more

Throw up my hands, I give up!

Close my eyes, let your memories consume me

And though I’ve fallen, they lift me up

I sit in darkness

No way could I ever love you less

I remember every detail

It’s now time to set sail

And drift down memory lane, so far

Reminisce under all the stars

Never to forget your face, never to forget your name

In the end, all remains the same