Depression. It's something we've all been plagued with at some point in our life, whether it had been with a close friend or family member or something we've suffered ourselves to some severity. Regardless who it afflicts, it touches us all.
Depression can be brought on by many things and it could last for only a brief time in a person's life or last their lifetime. Regardless what brought it about or the perceived severity or lack there of, all forms of depression should be taken serious.
The purpose behind this website is to bring light to some of life's darkest secrets, to give people a place to release their fears and find a connection with others who share their experiences. For years I tried to reach out for help, I needed someone to listen and to understand. My family couldn't help me, my firneds who I'd grown up with couldn't help me, my firends at work couldn't have understood and my boyfriends growing up... I'm sure that's why they left me. I did finally find someone who didn't judge me, who listened to me and how I felt, and despite how crazy I sounded they accepted me for who I was. I only wish I could have been as great a friend to this person as they had been for me. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't had this friend in my life and it made me think how many people are out there like me who haven't a friend like I'd had. Sometimes that's all you need to hang on just a little longer.
And that is the reason for this site. To find comfort and support in others who are or have been where we are.
My name i sCandi, I'm 22. If you had asked me at the age of 10 if I would ever live to be this age I would have told you no. I was only a child when I had my first thoughts of suicide and trial runs. I couldn't tell you what had set it off. I wish I knew for certain. I started cutting myself in junior high. I guess it helped me deal with the pain I was feeling on the inside. that was when I asked my parents for help. They told me I was fine, but I knew I wasn't. I went to my school counselor for help, I told her not to tell my parent's. When i got home they knew. They never got me any help.
Almost four years later I ODed on pain killers. It was the closeest I had gotten to completing my mission. I spent the next year and a half trying to keep hold of some sort of happiness, however fleeting it might be. For once in my life I felt in control, things were going okay and I hand't had a relapse.
July 11, 2003 I was raped by a guy I worked with. I hit a low. Before that day I never understood how a victim of such a terrible crime could ever feel embarrassed or for a second blame themselves, until that person was me. Somehow I knew in my mind I did something to deserve it. Somehow it was all my fault. I had never been so ashamed. He took from me my dignity, my self-respect and my happiness.
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