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October 28, 2001 You found it… I write at this hour to record my third depressive episode (DE) I just got out of it but the marking on my arm is there. It now stings – doesn’t feel good anymore. I was in the shower and I imagined Daniels face (wearing his silver jacket –Rock in Rio) and I started crying. Every time I thought of his innocent, tortured face, more tears flowed. I don’t know why but it happened. I think it may have just been that I feel so sorry for him but I cant express it and I understand how fucked up his life has been that it made me feel so much sorrow for him... it made me upset. I scratched my love back into my arm too…I regret it because it really hurts, the pain is unbearable. [10 minutes of pleasure for hours of pain]