Dear Santosh,
I love you more than words can ever say. You made me so happy, so good, and so loved. I tried so hard to make you happy, too. I remember whenever I was sad you would tell me your polar bear joke. How to catch a polar bear: first you cut a hole in the ice and put peas around it. Then, when he goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole. I was so proud because you made that up by yourself and it was still funny. I was also proud of all your goals. You were going to be a firefighter, and I knew you would have been great. Maybe now you’re up in heaven saving people from fires and waiting until you can see the people you care about again. The same day that I heard about what happened, I heard a quote on the show Wonder Years. It was the valentines day episode that we had seen just a few days earlier. The quote came from the book Cyrano Debergerac. “My heart has never left you for a second. I am, and shall be, the one whose love is without measure.” I hope that as you look down on us from heaven, you know how deeply each one of us cares about you. We all love you so much, and nothing can ever change that. Please give us the strength to let us live on in your memory. You will always be in our hearts and minds. Not a day will ever go by where I don’t think about you. You were my first boyfriend, and the only person I’ve ever really loved. I hope you know that now, even if you didn’t know that then. I’m trying to look back on all the good times we have shared. The smallest things would make you so happy, like when my sister would bring home cookies just for you. You were the most giving person I have ever known. You would help around the house without anyone having to ask you. It was like you could read my mind. You always knew what I wanted, and you would do your best to give it to me. Your smile lit up my day. You were so amazed by my friend Sasha, who could burp in command. Every time we hung out together, or you would come over and she’d call, she would always burp for you, and it would make you so happy. You would laugh and go on about how cool it was for at least five minutes. When you laughed, it would make me laugh, and just seeing you smile made me happier than anything else. You were always there for me, and I tried to be there for you. I wish I could have been there for you then, like you always were for me. You told me all you wanted was for me to be happy. you did make me happy; even when we were upset at each other. If you were in front of me right now, after punching you and giving you a huge hug, I would tell you that I love you more than anything in the whole universe, no matter what. That’s what we always used to say to each other. Now, even though you can’t respond, I’m going to say it again. I love you more than anything in the whole universe, no matter what. I always will. You mean more to all of us then you will probably ever know. We all love you so much.
I will always miss and love you,
(heart) Erin
