Cattikins!
Hi, I’m Cat and I’m here to tell you what a great Pope Rach would make. As part of my campaign I aim to get Rach elected as Pope cos she would make a verily great Pope and when she is Pope I will be able to walk next to her shouting ‘Poke a Pope’ and prodding at her greatness until she tells me I am no longer her royal Popenesses campaign manager. Verily would it not make a good fund-raiser, pay £10 and you may ‘Poke a Pope’, what great ideas I have and verily will Rach make a very good Pope because verily will she raise lots of money for the poor and needy, (that being me), aah so. Also another reason Rach would make a great Pope is because she is small and verily she is just the right height for blessing people and she is also a great height for when people are kneeling at her feet she can look extremely holy and righteous and at no other time can she manage this. Rach woulod also make a good Pope because the she would suit the hat right down to the ground (for verily that is where the hat will reach when Rach puts it on as she is rather a small Pope. Rach would make a better Pope than the present Pope as the present Pope is male and all males have big ears so the hat will fit Rach better than any male Pope that may decide to be a Pope.
So verily I appeal to you to join our campaign and get Rach elected as Pope. Are you with me? If yes then sign the guest book and when it has many, many signatories we shall send it to the Vatican and the Pope and then Rach will be elected. If you are not with me then what the hell are you doing reading this page, go waste some other poor sods time.
Thank you for your time and patience. Goodbye.
Aah so, time for a drink.
Go back to my campaign page
