Clodybobbles!
Here is a short message from speech writer, Clodagh Corbett
Hello my fellows. I am Clodagh and you may call me Clodybobs though you may NOT call me little orphan annie.Little bollocks.
Right so.*looks about* Ah yes. Pope. I'm the *whispers to advisor* er, er, i'm the , er, erm,the, er, Oh yes Speech writer!!!! *sigh of relief* Right. Here is my new speech whence i put forth. Ah so.
Pope.*clasps hands* T'pope is a great job. You get to get away with ANYTHING because you're Pope. I bet Popes can fart loudly and people will smell it cos its holy fart. Not that i would myself. Nor is that why miss Whittington wants the job. i mean, er, getting off track here. lets see. pope fart. no, no thats not it. PARP!! *giggles hysterically* heeeheheeeheee hang on a mo *falls off chair*
Advantages of being Pope...you get to get child tickets on trains cos you're Pope. Heck, you can get a Pope ticket. "One Pope ticket please" and you'd get a pointy ticket in the shape of a hat. Popes can skip about in silly dresses and bless people. and flick holy water a lot. There's only one Pope so you can be smug and declare Tony Blair "a stupid eejit" and people would nod and take you seriously. they can make anything holy be patting it. even sheep. "Bless you my woolly friend" and a holy sheep! I bet popes get to ride camels and have holy Pope camels with pointy humps. you can kick people and smile sweetly cos you're pope and u cant be nasty to popes unless you want to go to hell. yes. you can go" Don't be nasty to me you little bollocks cos I'm pope and I'll send you to hell" and smile and radiate Popeness. And you can make fun laws. like declare camels the new face of the Catholic church. Mwehhhhhhhhh.
Bless you my lovelies
xx
Your speech writer *bows profusely*
Back to my campaign page
