Shinobu's Ode


You understand me. You understand my needs. You don’t question my motives, don’t curl up your lip in disdain at my mercenary actions. You are always with me, by my side. Ever ready with comfort in my darkest hours. You never desert me and leave to parts unknown without assuring me of your return afterwards. You are a pillar of fortitude.

“Shinobu-sempai? Whatcha doing?”

“Does anyone ever bother to knock around here?”

“Not when your door was open.”

“Well, actually, Suka-chan, you sorta nudged it open with your toe…”

“Shut up, Shun! Anyway – ahem! – whatcha doing, Shinobu-sempai?”

“I’m not invading anyone else’s privacy, for starters.”

“Is anything wrong? Why are you just sitting there? It’s getting kinda dark. Do you want me turn on the lights?”

“I want you to leave, Hasukawa.”

“Come on, Suka. I think we’re interrupting something.”

“Interrupting what? He’s just sitting there in the dark. He always gets like this when Mitsuru visits his family for the weekend. I think it’s unhealthy.”

“Come on, Hasukawa! I think Shinobu wants to be alone. Ooomph! God, you’re strong! Have you been working out?”

“Shun, let go of my arm! Ow, that hurt! You don’t have to pinch me there! Okay, already! I’m going, I’m going…”

You leave me when I want to be left alone. You don’t bother me with an annoying voice or an even more annoying shock of glaringly red hair. No, you soothe me with your heartfelt silence. And when I touch you, your pale, slim form always infuses me with a sense of peace and relief. I know I will never be alone as long as you’re near.

“…and I really think that a T3 connection would suit our needs better than cable. Right, Tezuka-sempai?”

“Knocking before entering is an underrated practice, it seems.”

“Oh, gomen. But your door was open…”

“Not until you stuck your big, fat head through it, Aoki!”

“Gimme a break, Sakaguchi! And you were the one who wanted to talk to Tezuka-sempai about this in the first place. If you’d just listen to me, we wouldn’t have had to come here.”

“Whatever. So, sempai, do you think Hasukawa would let us hook up the arcade with a cable connection?”

“T3.”

“Cable!”

“T3!”

“Gentlemen, don’t you think Hasukawa would be a better person to ask about this? He is dorm president, after all. And, guess what? He’s right next door.”

“Oh, right, sempai. We’re just so used to coming here and asking Mitsuru about stuff…”

“And would you kindly shut the door behind you on your way out?”

“Hai, sempai.”

You never bother me with the banalities of the mundane world. In fact, you consistently succeed in taking me away from my cares and worries with your mere presence. I crave you, although everyone around me tells me it’s wrong. Even those who know me best refuse to see your importance in my life. But how can my feelings for you be so wrong when they’re so powerful? The very thought of you fills me with heady delight. I want to indulge in every inch of you, wrap my lips around you…

“Oi, Shinobu! You busy?”

“The door was closed, wasn’t it, Furusawa?”

“Yeah, but I figured you weren’t doing anything important since Mitsuru isn’t around. Anyway, I wanted to know if you’d seen Bonda. That cult-leading bastard owes me money.”

“No.”

“Oh, okay then. Hey, Shinobu, it’s getting dark in here. Want the lights on?”

“No.”

“Right. Okay. Well, I guess I’d better hurry up and find the rat-bastard. Promised Yuuko I’d take her out tonight and I know that’s not gonna be cheap.”

“As you leave, could you…”

“Close the door? Yeah, got it! See you later, Shinobu.”

All I need is that one spark, that one sign that assures me that you are mine, and my aches and pains will disappear in a cloud of smoke. I want to possess you, to inhale you, to breathe you in. No one would ever know. It would be our secret, you and I. Do I dare? Shall I throw caution to the wind? Shall I defy rhyme and reason? Ah, you tempting serpent, you relentless tease! I must have you…

“Shinobu-sempai!”

“What?”

“What do you have in your hand?”

“None of your business, Hasukawa.”

“Oh, my god! Shun! Shun, come here quick!”

“What! What is it? What’s wrong? Is Shinobu-sempai in trouble? Is he…oh.”

“ `Oh’ is right! Look at what he’s doing!”

“Shinobu-sempai, how could you?”

“We’ve got to stop him, Shun!”

“ `We’? You’re the dorm president. You stop him.”

“Do you think that’s possible? I mean, look at him! He’s serious!”

Ah, my friend, my solace, my constant companion! No one knows you better than I. No one knows the urge I have to consume you, to take you in me completely. Those vultures lie in wait to take you from me, but we shall never be parted again!

“There’s got to be some sort of rule or law that says he can’t do it. Shinobu-sempai, you have to stop right now!”

“Don’t go near him, Shun. He might hurt you!”

“Come on, Shinobu-sempai. You don’t really want to do this. Think of Mitsuru-sempai. What would he say if he were here right now?”

“It’s not working, Shun. He’s not even paying any attention to us! Oh, why did Mitsuru-sempai have to leave? He knows Shinobu-sempai always gets like this when he’s gone!”

“But I thought we’d taken care of this last month!”

“Obviously not.”

“Oh, oh, oh! This is bad. This is so very bad. Shinobu-sempai…please! You don’t know what you’re doing! This solves nothing. I know you miss him, think he abandoned you…”

“Who abandoned him?”

“Shut up, Suka! Shinobu-sempai, if Mitsuru-sempai were here right now, he’d say…”

“I would say what?”

“Mitsuru-sempai!”

“Hey, Shun. What’s up? What are you doing, standing by the doorway? And why’s it so dark in the room? Is Shinobu in there? I’ve got a present for him…”

“No time for that, Mitsuru-sempai! You’ve got to go in there before it’s too late!”

“Hasukawa, slow down! Ouch, that’s my arm your squeezing. What’s going on? Ow, let go! Quit shoving! Oh, you’re so asking for it, Hasukawa!”

“Later, later. You can swat me on the head later. This is more important! Look!”

“I can’t look if I can’t see. Where’s that light switch? Ah, much better. So what’s so important that you risk my fearsome wrath…Shinobu?”

“Ha! I told you it was important!”

“Shut up, Suka! Let’s get outta here. I think we’re leaving Shinobu-sempai in capable hands.”

“Shun! You always drag me away at the most interesting parts!”

So close, my love. We were so close to utter fulfillment. Alas, it was never meant to be. Although we both still share the same affection for the other, we knew that this time would come eventually. The time of our parting is imminent…

“Did you close the door?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve had such a time keeping that door closed today.”

“Shinobu…”

“And no one seems to respect the sanctity of a closed door anymore.”

“Shin…”

“And did you know the cult leader’s name is Bonda?”

“Shinobu, you’re not going to weasel your way out of this. Now, what did we promise each other?”

“But you left me!”

“Only for the weekend! That’s just two days.”

“It’s two days too long.”

“So our vow is so meaningless to you that you’d forego it in a mere two days?”

“But I missed you!”

“Yes, I missed you too. But that’s not the issue right now. What did we promise each other?”

“That I wouldn’t indulge in my filthy habit anymore and you’d never leave me…But you left me!”

“Yes, and now I’m back. Now, what did we say would happen if either one of us broke the vow?”

“You are so cute when you’re serious.”

“Answer the question.”

“If either of us broke the vow, then the culprit would have to pay the fine.”

“Which is?”

“I’m not a child, Mitsuru! Don’t treat me like one!”

“What’s the fine?”

“Oh, all right! The culprit has to buy the other a pint of triple mocha almond fudge ice cream.”

“For how long?”

“A week.”

“Stop sulking. It’s all your fault, you know. No self-control whatsoever!”

“You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am. Now, give it to me.”

Adieu, adieu, my lovely white sticks of dangerous pleasure! We were so good together but now the time of our parting is at hand…

“Shinobu Tezuka, hand over the cigarette.”

“Hai.”

“And the matches.”

“Hai.”

“And the rest of the pack that I see peeking out of your pants pocket.”

“Hai.”

“Is there any more that I should know about?”

“No.”

“Good. Now about that ice cream…”

Good-bye, sweet cigarettes. I knew you well.


~ koko wa greenwood ~