Wednesday, February 25 entry I've always wondered if Owen would develop a lovey, and it appears he has. You know, a lovey. A stuffed toy or blanket, something that he sleeps with and drags around with him and cries all over until he's about 18, then he packs it up before he leaves for college. Like Diggory, my rabbit (RIP), or Huggy Bear, Keith's teddy. About a week ago he started carrying around one of his blankets. He insisted on taking it to CVS one night. He calls it "Banket" and drags it all over the house. He accepts no substitute. Yesterday when I arrived at the sitter's to pick him up, she told me he was crying for his blanket throughout the day, and then he cried the whole way home until we got to the house and I could hand him the blanket. Apparently he needs it during the day now, so I insisted that Keith send it to the sitter's today. Also, he "helps" me with the laundry by putting the wet clothes in to the dryer, and the last load we did contained his blanket. He was very distressed at the sight of the blanket in the dryer, and pointed at it and whimpered and fussed at me until I shut the dryer door and distracted him. So perhaps the blanket is becoming his lovey? It's cute, really. And nice that he has a comfort object. Keith thinks it's crazy to let him get attached to something, but I don't think there’s any harm in it. As long as he'll let me wash it every now and then!
I found a Mommy group here in town that I've joined. Owen and I are signed up for any evening or weekend activities. We of course can't go to the weekly playdate since I work during the day, but I'm looking forward to getting to know some moms my age. It's insane that I've lived here over a year and a half and haven't made any friends. I should really get out more. I think this will be great for us. Several of them are also pregnant, so I won't be alone this time!
Yesterday at work the electricity went out and the fire alarms started going off. There was no fire drill planned, so we all headed for the stairs as quickly as possible. We're on the top floor of an 8 story building, and as soon as we got into the stairwell, I realized that this building can never really go up in flames, or I am doomed. The stairwell was packed with people, just standing around because there was no where to go. Total traffic jam. It was a little frightening, even though we didn't see or smell smoke, because there was no warning and so much confusion. When we finally got to the bottom, about 20 minutes later, the fire trucks were outside, but the building security just sent us right back in, and sent the fire trucks back to the station. I guess it was a false alarm? We never got the whole scoop, but it was a little bit frightening. I can't imagine how terrifying to be stuck in a stairwell during a real fire.
Keith is off tonight. What a treat. I haven't seen him in a while. He worked all of last weekend, so we didn't get any real quality time. We will eat dinner together, play with Owen, clean some house, watch American Idol, and hopefully be in bed asleep by 9PM! Sounds kind of boring, but that's my idea of a great night! 2.26.2003 Why yes, that was my baby who slept 10 straight hours in his own crib last night. Thanks for asking. Monday, February 23 entry It's amazing how one trip to McDonald's and one half of a medium order of French fries can change a child forever. This is my conversation with Owen this weekend.
Me: Owen, what do you want for dinner?
Him: Donalds!
Me: You want McDonalds again?
Him: (with more fervor) DONALDS!
Me: You better go ask Daddy if he'll take us.
Him:(Running into the bedroom to Keith) Take us! Take us!
I didn't know Owen even knew enough words to get his point across, but he figured it out pretty quickly.
We actually tried to take him to McDonalds to play on Saturday, because the weather was so nice. But it was a packed madhouse, so we ended up at the park in our neighborhood, which was even better than those germ-infested tubes at McDonalds. Sunday Keith had to be at work at 10AM, and Owen and I were stuck at home since Keith had the car. The weather was amazing, though, so we went "walking" which is Owen-speak for playing outside. Also, Poppy called and Owen tested out many of his words on the telephone. He knows the word Poppy, and I don't know if he associates it with my dad necessarily, but he uses it every now and then out of the blue. He talked a little more about Poppy last night. Funny the things that cross his mind.
I ended up taking Owen to the doctor Friday afternoon. He had a fever rash along with his cough and runny nose, and he had five dirty diapers, so I assume his stomach was messed up. He's on an antibiotic for his cough, and I can already tell a big difference in how he's feeling. I switched him from his old pediatrician to my new OB/GYN, and I like him a lot. He had a big fire engine examining table, which was very cool and a big hit.
Tomorrow we will be 14 weeks pregnant, and heading right into our 15th week. So the first trimester is over. We are a third of the way done with this pregnancy! And I really am feeling great, so that's wonderful. I couldn't deal with a horrible pregnancy this time, with Owen running around and me working full-time. I feel blessed with easy pregnancies. My next check-up is March 11, and I'll get to hear the heartbeat. We didn't hear it last time, only saw it on the ultrasound.
And now it is time for me to leave work. Monday down, four more days to go until the weekend!
2.23.2003 There were no entries on this date. Friday, February 20 entry **Update - When I finished the entry below, I clicked over to Cheryl's to find this post. And reading it makes me feel better already. Amazing!** These jeans were a mistake. A big, non-maternity mistake. Youch.
So our car is in the shop. The Grand Prix. I think it's telling us that it just wants to die. Just let it go in peace! But no, we keep reviving it. Something is wrong with the spark plug wires and the wiring harness to the crank shaft. I don't know what that means, but I do know that the car won't start. So we're on the grueling schedule of a one-car family, and I don't like it at all. Hopefully the car will be fixed today, as it is sitting dead in the NAPA parking lot. The really sad part is that Keith could fix it himself if he could get it home, but it won't start, so we have to pay the mechanics to fix it. Dumb old car.
So along with our new sleep-deprivation schedule (picking Keith up at 1030 or 11PM), Owen now has a cold and cough combo. He can't sleep at all without cough medicine. He coughs so hard, I’m certain that at some point, he’s going to throw up. His face gets all red, his eyes bulge and tear up, and snot flies everywhere. If he's not feeling better by this afternoon, I'm going to make him a doctor's appointment. A cold I can deal with, it just has to run its course. A cough can be more serious, especially if it migrates to his little lungs. So we may go see the doctor today.
Yesterday it was around 65 degrees here, so after work I took Owen to McDonalds to play in their play area. He and I split some French fries, and I showed him how to dip them into the little container of ketchup. It takes all of his effort and concentration to get the fry into the ketchup, and then into his mouth. He had a few misses and hit himself in the cheeks with a ketchupy French fry, giving himself all these little red freckles. Then we crawled up and through the play tubes, not easy for any normal-sized adult, but especially difficult on a pregnant one. He liked the tubes at first, until we were forced to climb over a little swinging net. He gripped the sides of the tube and screamed like I was trying to push him off a building or equally high precipice. And so we turned around and climbed back the other way, coming down the stairs in lieu of the twisty slide. We left to go to the grocery store, and through the whole store he kept calling out "Donalds! Donalds!" which was in reference to McDonald's, and not, as I had originally hoped, in reference to Keith.
At the grocery store, we stumbled upon a little toy display of baby dolls, with tiny little pacifiers that could be fit into their mouths. I asked Owen if he knew what that was, and he said, "Baby." I handed him the baby, and he held it and said, "Nice!" which is what he tells the dogs when he pats them nicely instead of yanking their hair or poking their eyes. I made sounds like the baby was crying, and he put the little pacifier in its mouth. I asked him to give it a kiss, and he complied. Then we told the baby bye-bye, and I put it back on the shelf. This is progress. The last time we played with a baby, he smashed its face into the ground and buried it under a mountain of other toys. I haven't seen it since.
So he was nice to the baby. It could be that I'm not, despite all of my fears, ruining Owen's life by having another child. In my very heart of hearts, I'm quite terrified to have another child. I'm worried that it will disrupt Owen's life in an unmanageable manner. That he will suffer from having to share his parents with another baby, that he will for the rest of his life feel ripped off by parents who couldn't give him even two years as an only child to enjoy their sole attention and affection. That he will somehow be ill adjusted or less attached to us, be jealous and quit sleeping and be mean to the new baby. I am overcome with guilt. I'm worried that once I have the new baby, I'll feel nothing for it, or at least, less than I feel for Owen. How could I possibly love anything in the world as much as I love Owen?
But I keep telling myself, having another child doesn't divide love, it multiplies it. I think all of my fears are common among families having their second child. I've read numerous blogs and talked to other people who have felt all of the fear and guilt that I am feeling. And once the second child was born, it all evaporated immediately, and they felt foolish for ever thinking they couldn't be completely in love with this new baby. And I think Owen will enjoy having a playmate. His parents, however cool they try to be, cannot compete with his desire to be with other children.
Sheesh, all this and this was a planned pregnancy! I never thought about all this before I got pregnant. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones making me crazy and over-emotional. Let's just say that's what it is.
And when my second child gets old enough to comprehend, let's never tell him or her that I wondered all these things aloud. I can't afford the therapy for either of us. 2.20.2003 I found out yesterday that my duties at work have now officially changed. I have been given my own portfolio of accounts to manage, which is definitely a step up from the paper pushing I was doing before. Wednesday, February 18 entry I stayed up late last night to upload pictures! Finally I am caught up, for at least a day or two.
The first group of pictures is our family Valentine's day celebration. I made lasagna and cupcakes and we stayed in Saturday night. Those pictures are here.
Secondly, I put up just a few pictures from my California trip. Nothing spectacular. I only snapped a handful, and none of them are of RD, so don't get your hopes up. Those pictures are here.
And finally, a few shots of Owen enjoying his first sucker. These pictures are a couple of weeks old, but still cute. They are here.
To close, here are two random pictures for your viewing enjoyment. The first is a picture of the Valentine's gift that my brother Kyle sent Owen. It is the cutest sidewalk chalk I've ever seen. I had to take a picture.
And here is a belly shot of me, taken at 12 weeks. I had to crop out my face because I was grimacing/lip curling. Trust me, it was for the best.
Tuesday, February 17 entry I'm back! Oh so glad to be back. The trip was okay, much business was conducted. But any doubt of the insanity of the Red Devil was erased. He is certifiable. For your information, I have conducted a list:
Reasons I Wanted to Throttle the Red Devil
This list could continue forever. But I have limited space on this webpage. Just trust me, he's a boob. Let me elaborate on the Texans story. We drove past a truck with a picture of Osama bin Laden on the back, encircled in the scope of a gun with crosshairs on him. Red Devil says, "Hmm, I wouldn't expect to see that on a truck in California. It's more suited to a truck in Texas." I asked him, "Why do you say that?" and he says - this is for real - "Well, historically a person in Texas is more likely to have a picture of bin Laden with crosshairs than a person in California." Historically. His research proves it, I guess. Sheesh, my IQ must be 8 or 9 times his.
So that was the frustrating part of the trip. I was so glad to be home and see my little boy. I missed him terribly. When I got home to him Friday night, he was twirling in baby circles around the living room. He got two new teeth, and learned several new words while I was gone, including thank you and you're welcome, although they sound like "Dee-do" and "Wah-come." He says both phrases each time. I love talking to him. It's so nice to be able to communicate.
I took a belly shot finally while I was in California. I will try to get it posted tonight, along with a handful of pictures I took on the trip. I am at 13 weeks today, which means we are into month 4 and about a week away from the second trimester. Hard to believe, that.
I have a few cute Owen stories, but am out of room and time on this entry. Hopefully more to follow, including pictures. 2.17.2003 Yesterday Owen rolled completely over, all by himself, for the first time. He has been trying for some time now. He rolls from his back to his stomach, and only from his right side. He hasn't mastered rolling to the left yet. Tuesday, February 10 entry Today is the big day. I'm leaving in appoximately 2 hours to head to the airport for my flight to LA. I'll be there until Friday night. Bags are packed with maternity business attire, crossword puzzle book is tucked away for the long, non-stop flight to LAX, and Girl Scout cookies are stowed in my carry-on bag for emergencies. The only thing left to do is fret and worry over leaving Owen. I've been away from him a couple times, and each of those times was only 1 night. I got all choked up this morning when I kissed him goodbye, thinking I'm not going to see him again until Friday night. Luckily he is much stronger than his mother and didn't seem to mind at all.
By the way, the Reduced Fat Lemon Coolers Girl Scout cookies are melty-in-your-mouth delicious!
We had our ultrasound yesterday. It went well. We got one picture, but it is lumpy and blurry and not much detail, so I'm not going to bother posting it. We saw the baby's head and brain and heart beating. He (or she, I don't know) was swimming like crazy, circling the legs and arms around and around. Then he put his hands up over his face. So that was really cute and interesting. It's still pretty early in the pregnancy, so we didn't see lots of detail, but it was still cute, and always reassuring to see that little heart beating. Next appointment is in 4 weeks, a routine check-up.
Owen learned some new words yesterday. I'm amazed at how all of a sudden his language skills are just exploding. He started saying Rusty yesterday (which sounds like 'rusky'), which is the name of the babysitter's dog. On the way home, he was saying "rusky, rusky, rusky, rusky!" in this little sing-songy voice, and it was so cute. He also started saying walk, or walking. He doesn't want to be carried. He wants to walk! He doesn't want to get in his carseat! He wants to walk! I love hearing him talk. It's so amazing to think about this little tiny creature we brought home from the hospital a year ago, and how he's changed and grown and how we've taught him so much. He's a little sponge, that one.
I'm off now, until at least Friday night. To soak up the 70-something degree weather of sunny California and stay right on the ocean. Don't be jealous, I'm going with my boss. 2.10.2003 An $8 pair of clippers is way cheaper than a $10 haircut every few weeks, which totally appeals to his cheap side. Thursday, February 06 entry Only a few days left until our ultrasound! I don't know what we'll be able to see at 12 weeks, certainly not anything gender-determining, but it will be exciting to see the little one moving around, to see the little beating heart. Nice to have the reassurance that there is indeed something growing in there, and I'm not just getting fatter.
Everything about the pregnancy is going just fine so far. I'm much more tired this time, but I attribute that to having Owen Davis to chase around this time. Throughout the last trimester of my first pregnancy, Keith was working at the studio at nights, so I would frequently come home from work at 4PM and sleep for 3 or 4 hours, get up to eat supper and wait for Keith to get home, then crash again around 11PM. So I was getting lots of sleep. This time my schedule is pretty much out of my control. Funny how a little tiny baby runs things! We're definitely on Owen's timetable. I've had more sickness this time around, but it doesn't kick in until nighttime. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I am so sick to my stomach. It's nice though, because I sleep through most of it. Other than that, this pregnancy is textbook, and almost identical to my last one. I think I'm showing earlier this time, but one can only expect so much from abdominal muscles, and I was only pregnant a year ago. So they're doing the best they can do.
I brought Owen home a Valentine's sucker last night. I think most people are aware that I am a Sugar Nazi when it comes to Owen, and he is allowed very little, if any, sugar (other than fruits). So the sucker was a big deal for us. His first sucker ever! When I unwrapped it and handed it to him, he didn't know what to do with it. He took it to Keith and held it up to him, so Keith showed him that it was edible. After that, it was sucker love. Owen had red sticky hands and arms and belly. He sat in his highchair and sucked on it until it was gone. He was a very happy boy. And that is his sugar quota for the month!
Sometimes I think I have the best little sleeping son ever. My child sleeps from 730PM to 800AM (sometimes he gets up around 730AM) every night, and probably 85% of the time, he never wakes up or cries out. Every now and then he will cry out if he can't find his binky (or bebe, as he calls it) in the dark, but most nights he soothes himself back to sleep, and we'd never know he was awake if we didn't hear him talking to himself over the baby monitor ("Bebe. Bebe. Dog."). I'm really proud of him. And I'm proud of us. I think we taught him in a really great way to self-soothe and put himself to sleep. We used a very adapted version of "crying-it-out", only letting him cry for 1 - 3 minutes at a time before we picked him up or rocked him or whatever, and it took a few weeks to get him into the groove of going down awake and putting himself to sleep, but he's an old pro now. We started off running to him at every sigh and whimper, then gradually allowed him time to try to soothe himself. And he learned. He knows that we are there, because we spent weeks showing up in his room when he thought he really needed us. He is comfortable with our presence, trusts us not to leave him alone, so he is able to sleep peacefully at nights. I love that. I love that if I wanted to, I could go to bed at 8PM every night, because he is already tucked in and sound asleep, and I could sleep a good 12 hours on the weekends, because he's such a great sleeper. It wasn't easy; we had to adapt various methods of parenting and sleep-teaching to find the mix that was right for us and for Owen (I'm not really a "cry-it-out" person), but it worked! He's so cool.
Deep inside, I wonder if he is my easy baby. Don't most people have an easy baby and a challenge? What if this next one is my challenge? Colic scares me. Just because I tortured my parents with colic doesn't mean I deserve it in return. I'd take another one like Owen any day. Ah well, I have 200 days to worry about that. Today is not the day for worry. It's Friday! 2.07.2003 Will this child never sleep through the night?
Wednesday, February 04
entry
Finally, back to the land of the living! What a weekend. It started Saturday, when the three of us went to the mall, Best Buy, and got Keith a haircut. We had a fun day, Owen was in a great mood, and all was well. On the way home, we stopped at Logan's restaurant for dinner. It's a great place where they bring you those buttery sweet rolls while you wait for your meal. So when the rolls arrived, we gave one to Owen, the bread fanatic. He wouldn't eat it. He played happily with the roll, but refused to taste it. Very unlike him. He wouldn't eat any steak or mashed potatos, and I even offered him a cookie. He wouldn't eat a thing. He was acting perfectly normal, happy and playing as usual. Then all of sudden, he let out this long, loud, gurgly burp, and BLECH! All over the table and into the floor, he threw up. Luckily he was on Keith's side of the table, as I am a sympathy puker and would have most certainly bleched along with him. Keith cleaned him up, we got to-go boxes, and rushed him home. Once home, he threw up once more (this time it was on me), and then off to bed he went. I couldn't get him to eat a single thing, so he went to bed without supper. Sunday he ate a little bit of breakfast, then wouldn't eat lunch at all. He was running a fever and acting groggy and under the weather in general. Later in the day I got him to drink some ginger ale, after which he asked for a banana and kept that down. I stayed home with him Monday, and he seemed to be on the mend. By the time Keith got home, however, he and I were both sick. I don't know if Owen had a bug or what, but he managed to infect both of his parents. I have never seen Keith so sick. He threw up literally all night Monday night. He had to be at work on Tuesday for training, so he took Owen to the sitter's and went on in, drinking Pepto Bismol all day long. I stayed home alone and laid around on the couch until around 4PM, when I went to pick Owen up. I think everyone is better now, but what a crazy few days.
On the bright side, the trip to Best Buy resulted in my new favorite thing ever, a rice cooker and steamer. What a great invention. So far I have cooked various vegetables, chicken, and brown rice. And last night I made cinnamon apples. I love it! It makes me feel healthy. And it's so easy. We made a good choice.
For the gross story of the week, I submit the following. I marinated and cooked chicken quarters for the Super Bowl. They smelled so good, and looked perfect. I cut into the first one to see if it was done, and blood just gushed out. Dark thick blood. I was instantly gagging, so Keith cut into the second one. Same thing. Same for the third. When he cut into the fourth one, it literally squirted blood out, like he had cut into a live chicken! Like it was still pumping around in there! So the baking dish was full of this dark chicken blood. Dinner went into the trash and I ran to Kroger to buy chips and dips and sodas for dinner (Super Bowl fare, you know). And that's why you should never buy Tyson chicken. Apparently they forgot how to do chicken.
Being out for two days this week seems to have put me infinitely behind at work. I have piles of February renewals to start on. Next week I am only in for Monday and part of the day on Tuesday before I fly out to LA. And part of Monday is booked for my 11AM ultrasound appointment. I think we've worked it all out so that Keith can join me. I'm really excited about the ultrasound. I think it will be a dose of reality for both of us to actually see the baby. Hopefully we'll get a clean bill of health and all will be well for my flight.
Finally, I am happy to report that Owen has added even more new words to his vocabulary this weekend. He now says paper, coloring, gotcha, big ball, and banana. He's also invented a new trick, where he lays down on the floor (or sometimes, to mix it up, he sits in a chair), throws one leg or arm in the air, and proclaims that he is "stuck!" He continues to yell "stuck" until someone helps him up. He is most definitely not stuck, which is the funny part. He's a riot, that one.
365-ish Days Ago:2.04.2003 There were no entries on this date.
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